Title: This is that Old Song
By: Michelle K.
Category: Catherine/Sara with implications of Grissom/Sara and Catherine/Grissom.
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: "Lady Heather's Box," "Crash and Burn," and "Play with Fire."
Summary: First, second, third.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Sue not.
For gingerlaura's birthday, insanely belatedly. I apologize.

*

The first time they ended up in bed together, Catherine told Sara that Grissom wasn't a bad lover.

"Good, even. Sometimes he can be too wrapped up in himself."

Catherine pinned Sara's wrists above her head. Her knee was between Sara's thighs, pressing against her sex. Sara arched up, groaned as her clit grazed against Catherine's skin.

"Not that that's a surprise," Catherine added.

She hadn't asked Catherine why she would offer up that type of information; it was no secret that Sara was curious, maybe a little bit in love with him. Nor was it a secret that Catherine could be straightforward when it wouldn't hurt herself.

Sara wondered if Catherine gave a shit about either of them. If she still blamed Sara for things that weren't in her control. If this was her way of saying, "I forgive you."

Catherine's hands let go of Sara's wrists. Sara stretched her arms further, palms pressing against the headboard as she watched Catherine move down her body. She arched again as Catherine's mouth covered her sex, tongue sliding over her slit.

Sara muttered her name once, then the shortened version she'd always imagined herself saying with her legs spread.

When she woke up, Catherine was gone.

*

The second time was in a bathroom stall. Catherine's mouth tasted like beer and her hand was less gentle than Sara usually liked, but Sara felt awful enough that the hard pressure on her clit was acceptable; maybe she was one of those who secretly loved pain. Maybe that was why she always ignored the signs of danger in the affairs she had (and those she wanted).

Catherine slipped her hand inside Sara's blouse, fingers moving over her breast. She pinched her nipple through her bra as she trailed her teeth down Sara's neck. Her hand moved even faster; the pain and pleasure increased.

"Oh God." Sara tightened her grip on the side of the stall as she came. "Oh God."

The faint rush of recklessness melted away before her breathing evened as Sara took in her surroundings and felt the alcohol-induced nausea return. Catherine had to help her stay standing; Sara wondered if she took that as a compliment.

"I'm a slut," Sara muttered. "From being the other woman to fucking someone in a bathroom."

"That makes me?"

Sara blinked but Catherine's face was still blurry. "What?"

"I'm a slut?"

Sara didn't have the energy to figure out if Catherine was offended. "I don't know you that well," she said.

She could just make out Catherine's smile. The next thing she knew, she was in her bed. She was alone.

*

The third time was after they both fucked-up. Sara was comforted more by the fact that Catherine's transgression was comparatively worse than by the way Catherine used her tongue.

No wonder Grissom blew her off - she's even the wrong sort of comfort fuck. Maybe Catherine let Grissom know that in-between foreplay and sex, muttered disparaging words as her hand wrapped around the shaft of his cock. Nothing Catherine could do would surprise her. Really, *nothing* surprised her. Everything felt predictable, even the timing of the random one night stands they shared.

She hated herself for not ending it. She hated everyone else because she had so few options.

Catherine lifted her head before Sara came, but Sara didn't protest. She licked her lips. "Are you distracted or something?"

"Maybe. A little. You're not?"

Catherine didn't answer as she sat up. "Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."

Sara nodded. She accepted it, just as she was supposed to. And, when Catherine changed her mind, Sara would accept that too. It didn't really matter.

This time, she watched Catherine dress. Watched her leave. She never stopped being alone.

END