Title: Pride & Joy
By: nancy
Pairing: Mac/Danny
Rating: R
Warnings: daddy!kink, angst
Summary: A visit to Louie in the hospital ends with Danny getting something he never thought he deserved.

Previous story in series - Untitled CSI:NY Fic

Mac glanced sideways at where Danny sat stiffly in his chair, waiting for news from the doctor about Louie. The hospital had called Danny at work to come in for an update so now they waited in the doctor's office. It had only been a few weeks since the whole fiasco had gone down, a few amazing weeks that they'd been together. Even in so short a time, Danny seemed to have blossomed, thriving under Mac's constant care and attention.

The only thing overshadowing their relationship was the Messer family. They'd gotten a court order allowing visitation, though supervised once Mac and Don had chimed in. With that in play, Danny had to be careful when he visited Louie to make sure none of them ran in to one another. Mac always accompanied Danny to the hospital, that was the one rule on which he'd insisted. There was no way in hell that he would let Messer, Sr. screw up all the progress they'd made.

At the moment, Mr. and Mrs. Messer sat a short distance away, along with Nina, all waiting for the doctor. Mac suspected that it wasn't going to be good news, not with how long Louie had been in his coma. Likely, they were going to transfer him to a long-term care facility and needed consent. It would be interesting to see what the Messers reactions would be. Messer, Sr. had come close to killing his fallen son once before; would the time and distance, not to mention Sonny in prison, have changed that impulse?

Dr. McMillan finally arrived, holding a few different folders and looking pressed for time. He offered a vague smile as he sat and greeted, "I'm sorry that I'm late. We had a bit of an emergency. Now. After three weeks in a coma, I'm afraid we need to consider alternate treatments."

"Like what?" Mr. Messer demanded, belligerent.

"Like arranging for him to be transferred to another facility," Dr. McMillan replied calmly. "I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do for him here. Honestly, I should have urged you more insistently when we spoke last, but I didn't think another week would be a problem."

Danny stiffened. "Wait, you all talked about Louie's care and I wasn't here? What the hell?"

Mac reached over and squeezed Danny's shoulder, admonishing, "Take it easy, Danny."

Dr. McMillan gave Danny a sympathetic look as he explained, "Your sister-in-law is in charge of his care, Detective. I'm afraid that you have no actual say in what happens to your brother."

Nina took that moment to ask, "What kind of facility're we talkin' about here? I ain't got much in the way of insurance or money."

The doctor hedged, "There are a few choices. I'm going to let you speak with the care coordinator to figure out which one is best for your husband. If you see my secretary on the way out, she'll be able to direct you to the right department. Good luck."

An obvious cue, everyone stood up. Unlike the elder Messers, Danny shook the doctor's hand and uttered a quiet thank-you. Mac put his hand on Danny's back, ushering him out of the office silently. Nina stood talking with the secretary and Mac paused when Danny did, though he didn't remove his hand.

"Nina."

She turned at Danny's quiet statement of her name, giving him an angry look. "What?"

Danny took a breath and said, "Anything you need, you just let me know. I don't have a lot saved, but I got some and if you need it to help with Louie, or the kids, or anything. Just call me, okay?"

Probably more than she's gotten from her in-laws, Mac thought unkindly.

The angry look didn't really soften, but the tone of voice did, just a little, as Nina answered with obvious reluctance, "Thanks, Danny. We're good for now, though."

"Okay. Just, I wanted you to know," Danny said awkwardly.

She nodded and Danny headed out to the hall. His parents, thankfully, were already gone. Mac was glad they didn't have to deal with more of the old man's insults to Danny. He could care less what the man said about him, but it always upset Danny. The worst part of it was that Danny didn't seem to know how to accept comfort unless he was at his emotional ends and even then, only for the shortest amount of time possible.

As they walked towards the elevator, Mac couldn't help wondering what Danny's childhood had been like. Not for the first time, he pictured it as lacking in the hugs and kisses department. It mystified him, how parents could resist hugging and giving as much affection as possible to their children. If he and Claire had had kids, Mac would've made sure they knew how much they were loved no matter what.

Not for Danny, though. Mac doubted there was any real abuse, but the lack of a parent's love could be almost as devastating. There was a distance between the Messers that spoke of old wounds and anger that had nothing to do with the current situation, as bad as it was. And he didn't think that it had anything to do with Danny becoming a cop or crime scene specialist, either. No, the distance was old and familiar; something Danny responded to instinctively.

Danny was silent the rest of the ride home, not that Mac was surprised. Interacting with the other Messers always left the young man quiet and withdrawn, sometimes angry and upset, depending on how it had gone. This had been a relatively benign visit, which meant Danny would retreat to the sofa and watch tv, giving off 'don't touch me' vibes in strong doses. Usually, Mac respected that, but he was starting to think that something different was in order.

It was with that thought in mind that Mac let Danny do his thing until dinner. Mac cooked a simple meal of stew and garlic bread, not wanting to get fancy when comfort food was definitely in order. He didn't make Danny set the table as he usually did, so everything was in place when Mac said, "Time to eat, Danny."

"I'm not hungry," Danny replied from the sofa.

Putting steel in his voice, Mac informed him, "I didn't ask if you were. Dinner. Now."

Danny glared at him, but obeyed. Mac ignored the sullen attitude as he talked about the case at work, lecturing more than conversing. That was fine, though. Mac had plans more important than taking issue with a lack of conversation. Danny seemed to have relaxed a little by the time Mac finished his meal. The pinched cast to his face had faded a little, if not left altogether, which was a start.

Mac offered a smile as he said, "Since you didn't feel like contributing to dinner or setting up, you can clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher."

"What?" Danny protested.

Mac pointed out, "You know the rules. You help on one side of the meal, or the other."

Danny heaved a sigh. "Fine."

Hiding a grin, Mac left the table and sat on the sofa, waiting for Danny to get finished with his task for the night. He turned off the television, though, and pulled out a book for show, keeping an ear on the young man behind him. The noises stopped and Danny came over to the sofa, pausing just outside his field of vision. Mac closed his book and looked over at him, prompting, "Yes?"

"I'm done," Danny offered, seeming a little lost. "I thought, ah, can I turn the tv back on?"

Mac nodded and answered, "After you do one thing for me."

Danny gave him a wary look. "What's that?"

"Come here a minute," Mac ordered.

Danny walked over to him, folding his arms over his chest as he asked, "What?"

Mac reached out and pulled Danny down onto his lap, taking advantage of the other's off-balance posture. It wasn't one that Danny was comfortable with and, therefore, easy to disrupt. Danny squawked in surprised, arms flailing outward as he landed heavily on Mac's lap. Wrapping his arms tight around Danny, Mac leaned back into the sofa and held on as the younger man struggled against him.

"What the hell?" Danny exclaimed at last, sitting ramrod straight.

Resting his chin on Danny's shoulder, now that the other had stopped moving, Mac stated, "It's time we got better acquainted."

Danny looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "Better acquainted? Mac, I don't think we can do that, given how often we’ve slept together."

"Oh, I think we can," Mac countered. "As a matter of fact, it occurred to me that we haven't spent hardly any time getting to know each other. Well, other than physically, and I want more from you than that."

Shaking his head, Danny told him, "You're crazy, you know that?"

"Possibly. But humor me, okay?"

Danny sighed and squirmed, testing. "Fine. Okay. What do you want to know?"

"It's more what I want you to know.”

"And what's that?"

"That it's okay to be comforted. It's okay to want to be touched, even when sex isn't on the menu. It's more than okay to just want to hold someone, or be held, it's natural and good."

Instead of relaxing, Danny became even more tense with every word. "I don't know what the hell's gotten into you, but I'm not stupid. I know all that."

"I don't think you do. Not really. If you did, then you'd be a lot more relaxed than you are right now," Mac observed.

"What do you want from me, Mac? I'm not into the touchy-feely crap," Danny snapped. "You knew that before we started all this. Why you suddenly askin’ me for it, huh?"

Mac pressed his lips to Danny's throat and answered, "Because I think you need it and don't know how to ask for it. I think that you believe that it's wrong to want to be held. I also think that you believe you don't deserve to be given or shown simple affection, and you do, Danny. You deserve so much. You said when we started this, that you would let me take care of you. I'm asking you to let me in, Danny. Let me hug you and give you the comfort you should've gotten when you were a boy."

For a long minute, Danny didn't move and Mac thought he was going to have to try a different method. It was one thing for him to show his caring and affection with words and touches, but another to just hug his lover. Danny was prickly as a cactus when it came to that, even after sex. Then, slowly, the younger man slumped against him. He shifted, but not to get away, instead carefully turning so that his legs were draped off to the side and he could press up against Mac's chest.

Relieved, Mac resettled his hands so that one supported Danny around the waist and the other curved around a hip. All kinds of words strained to get out, but Mac kept his silence suspecting that anything he said would just make Danny uncomfortable. The situation was so far outside the younger man's comfort-zone that Mac had no intention of doing anything else to add to the burden.

"I always wanted this, you know," Danny said softly. "I just…you're right. It ain't something I can ask for. It don't feel right to me."

Mac stated firmly, "Well, it is. And I'm going to keep doing this until you believe you deserve it."

"That could be a while."

"I'm not going anywhere."

Danny sighed deeply and curled up closer, murmuring, "I think I'm startin' to believe you."

Mac smiled, squeezing tighter as he replied softly, "Good."