Title: I am Ready By: Carina Scott
Rating: FRAO
Summary: Warrick needs to hear 3 little words, is Gil ready to say them?
Pairing: Warrick/Gil

"When you're ready, let me know." Warrick's voice echoed in his mind. He remembered the look of utter hurt and despair on Warrick's face as he turned and left his condo a week ago. They hadn't spoken, outside of work-related conversations, since that night. The night that Warrick had finally been fed up with Gil Grissom.

The evening had started off quiet. They had the day off since they had already worked 32 hours without a break. The case they had been working on was high profile and Atwater wouldn't let up on them until the suspect was found. Besides catching a quick nap here and there, they had been going nonstop. Not to mention that they hadn't had a moment alone together either. When they finally made it home, they used what little energy they had left to kick off shoes and fall into bed together, not even bothering to pull up the blankets.

When Gil woke later that evening, he found Warrick in the kitchen, cooking dinner. So he showered and when he came out Warrick had already set the table. They ate in silence, enjoying the cozy comfort of each other's company. Clearing the table, Gil placed the dishes in the dishwasher while Warrick turned a jazz cd on. They snuggled up on the couch and listened to the smooth music flow throughout the room. Warrick ran his fingers through Gil's hair, absentmindedly, as Gil purred and snuggled closer.

Breaking the silence of the moment, Warrick said, "I love you Gil."

Not yet comfortable with returning the sentiment, Gil simply turned to Warrick and kissed him deeply. He hoped that Warrick would understand the feelings he couldn't seem to voice. Apparently, that wasn't enough, as soon Warrick broke the kiss.

"You can't say it can you?"

"Rick, we've talked about this. You know I care about you, but I have been hurt in the past and it takes a lot for me to say those words," Gil said as he moved closer to Warrick.

Moving out of the embrace, Warrick got up and sat in the chair opposite of the sofa. Looking at Gil, he replied, "Look Gil, I know we have talked about this. And I do understand, but we have been together for almost a year now. In all of this time I have never pressured you into anything, not even telling me how you feel. I figured eventually you would be able to say it on your own. But now, every time I am here with you, I have to wonder how you really feel. I tell you how I feel all the time, knowing that you can't say it. But after all this time, I have to wonder if you even want to say it."

"Rick, baby, you know how much I care about you. It's a big step and I'm just not…ready," Gil said dejectedly.

"Not ready? Not ready for what? After all this time, you expect me to believe you care about me, but you can't tell me you love me? Dammit Gil!" Warrick said rising from the chair, pacing the room, frustration evident.

Getting up, trying to calm his lover, Gil reach out and grabbed Warrick by the arm. "Warrick, please calm down. You know how much I care for you, but wouldn't it be worse if I said those words before I was ready?"

Jerking out of Gil's grasp, "Look Gil, I can't deal with this right now." After putting on his shoes, Warrick grabbed his keys and jacket and headed for the door. Turning to his lover he said, "When you're ready, let me know," before slamming the door shut.

Gil stood there, looking at the closed door, trying to remember how a night that had started out so great, had ended so badly. Sighing, Gil turned the stereo off and went into his room, for a night of restless sleep.

~*~

Over the next two days, Warrick hardly spoke to him. Actually the only time they spoke was when a case dictated it. The tension between them was obvious to everyone, even those that didn't know about their relationship. Catherine had asked him about it on the second day, tired of all the strain that was obvious in each of her friend's faces.

Entering Gil's office and taking a seat in front of his desk, Catherine asked, "What happened, Gil?" Realizing by his expression that he wasn't going to volunteer any information, she decided to be more specific. "What happened between you and Warrick? It's obvious to everyone that something is not right with the two of you. Even Sara asked me about it, and you know she doesn't notice anything! So spill it, and I am not leaving this office until you do," Catherine said folding her arms in front of her.

"Catherine, please not right now," Gil said trying to convey his annoyance to his friend. "I know you are trying to help, but this is between me and Warrick."

"I know that this is private, but Warrick is looking like hell and you don't look much better. I hate to admit this, but I think he was crying in the locker room earlier." Seeing Gil's stunned face, "He said it was allergies, but I'm not sure. I believed it at the time because I have never seen him cry. But with the daggers Nick has been shooting your way every time he looks at you, I know something major happened. So spill,"

Sighing, "I noticed the looks too." Removing his glasses, Gil rubbed the bridge of his nose, "I really screwed up Cath and I don't know how to fix it."

Leaning across the desk, Catherine grabbed Gil's hand, "I'm not going to force you to give me all the details, but whatever you did, you had better fix it. Quick. Because you are about to mess up the best thing that has ever happened to you." With a sympathetic look she got up and left the office, closing the door behind her.

Gil thought about what Catherine had said as he continued his paperwork.

~*~

After shift, Gil was reading a forensic journal, when he heard a knock on the door. He hoped it was Warrick, but doubted it since he hadn't spoken with him for three days. When he opened the door, he found a very pissed Nick Stokes standing before him.

"What can I do for you, Nicky?"

"We need to talk."

"If this is about a case, it can wait until tonight's shift."

"If it could wait I wouldn't be here. Aren't you going to invite me in?"

Stepping aside, Gil gestured for Nick to enter. Heading towards the kitchen, Gil asked, "Would you like some coffee?"

"Sure," Nick said tersely, as he sat down on the sofa.

Gil took in Nick's heated demeanor as he came back into the living room. Handing him the mug, he sat in a chair opposite the sofa. "So Nicky, what is so important about your case that it couldn't wait until later?"

Sipping his coffee, Nick replied, "I never said this was about a case, you did. I said it was too important to wait until tonight."

"Well, what is it?"

"It is Warrick. I know what happened between you and I wanted to let you know I don't appreciate you stringing my friend along like this," Nick said anger coloring his voice. Normally he would have stayed out of the mess between Warrick and Gil, but with the way Warrick had been looking over the past few days, Nick had to do something.

"What goes on between me and Warrick is none of your business."

Pissed, Nick replied, "It sure as hell is my business! When my best friend breaks down, crying, on my sofa over you, of all people, it damned well is my business!" Getting up Nick started pacing back and forth, "I warned him about this, but did he listen. Of course not! He's Warrick, he thinks mostly with his heart, not his head," talking more to himself than Gil.

Hearing for the second time in less than 12 hours that he had caused Warrick to cry, Gil asked, "You warned him about me? Why?"

"Yes, I did warn him about you. Warrick had a crush on you long before you guys finally got together. I had to listen to him go on and on about you all the time. When you guys first started dating, I warned him. I told him not to get involved with you because it could only get him hurt. But he refused to listen. You know what he said; he looked me straight in the eye and told me he loved you. Loved you! And look what that got him," By this time, Nick had calmed enough to sit back down on the sofa, but the anger was still evident.

"Nick, when I got with Warrick, I told him that expressing my feelings wasn't easy for me. He said he understood and we hadn't had any real big problems until a few nights ago," Gil said, trying to keep anger out of his voice. He couldn't believe Nick had been against their relationship from the beginning.

Scrubbing his hands over his face, "Warrick told me about that too. And I told him that he would get hurt. No matter how much Rick tries, he can't help but get attached. He was practically in love with you before you guys started dating. I knew that eventually he would need to hear you say you love him, no matter how much he said it didn't matter. Warrick is not like that, as much as he appreciates the way you show how much you care, sometimes he just needs you to be able to say it. And I know how hard it is for you to express your feelings in words, Grisspm."

When he didn't get a response, Nick continued, "Look Griss, I am not here to rag on you. I was just pissed because I have never seen Warrick so hurt. I know you care deeply about him, but if it doesn't go any deeper than that, you need to let him know. Make a clean break of it. It's gonna hurt like hell for the both of you, but in the end it will be better. If you do love him, then you better let him know soon. Or it will be too late."

"Too late? What does that mean?" Gil asked, hearing the pbious threat in Nick's tone.

Standing up, Nick handed Gil his empty coffee mug, "It means that if you don't get Warrick now, he won't be available later. I love him, and I am not above trying to claim him as mine. But I know he loves you, and I want him to be happy; even if it's not with me. I have never told him how I feel, didn't even admit it to myself until he was already with you. But I do love him and if you can't, or won't, love him like he deserves, I will." On that final note, he left a stunned Gil Grissom standing in his living room.

~*~

It was a quiet shift that night, so Gil found himself once again doing paperwork. He couldn't keep Nick's last words to him out of his mind, he couldn't stop missing Warrick, and he kept reading the same damn paragraph over and over, unable to comprehend what it meant. Hoping that maybe listening to some music would help his concentration; Gil went to his stereo and pressed play. When he heard the soulful sounds of India.Arie™ flood out of the speakers, he smirked. She is one of Warrick's favorite artists. Gil always kept some of Warrick's cds on hand for the long shifts that Warrick napped on the couch in his office. Warrick liked to have music on when he napped, said it helped drown out of the lab around him, so Gil had kept a few CDs in his office for those occasions.

Gil sat down and continued to do paperwork. Suddenly he stopped, listening to the song that had just come on. As he listened to the beautiful voice in the room, he could barely breathe. The words spoke to his soul so powerfully that he knew what his choice was in an instant. Gil got out a pen and paper and began to write, humming softly along with the music.

~*~

Warrick entered the locker room later that shift, happy that it was finally over. As uneventful as the evening had been, it had been one of the worse nights of his life. Nick had told him what had happened at Gil's apartment. And as much as he loved what Nick had tried to do, telling Gil that he would go after Warrick if he didn't make a decision soon, he was pissed at him too.

Who am I kidding, he thought. He was really pissed at himself for thinking that Gil would even be jealous. They hadn't really spoken in almost an entire week and working together only made it worse. He hated how hopeful he had been when Nick, the best friend a guy could ever have, had suggested this little stunt. But it had all been for naught; Gil hadn't reacted at all.

Sighing, Warrick opened his locker, and pulled out a shirt to change into before going home. As he pulled out his shirt, he noticed an envelope had fallen out of his locker. Picking it up he instantly recognized Gil's handwriting. To Warrick, was all that was written on the envelope. Sitting down on the bench, Warrick opened the letter, knowing it was the kiss-off he had been regretting. As he read it, his heart caught in his throat as he recognized some of the words:

Warrick,

You asked me a question the other day, and until now I wasn't sure if I would ever have an answer for you. I was thinking about you tonight, playing some of your CDs, when I heard a song that expresses all of my feelings. Here are the lyrics:

I am ready for love

Why are you hiding from me?

I'd quickly give my freedom

To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love

All of the joy and the pain

And all the time that it takes

Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I've been thinking

Maybe you're not ready for me

Maybe you think I need to learn maturity

They say watch what you ask for

Cause you might receive

But if you ask me tomorrow

I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love

Would you please lend me your ear?

I promise I won't complain

I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance

I'll prove this to you

I will be patience, kind, faithful and true

To a man who loves music?

A man who loves art

Respect's the spirit world

And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love

If you'll take me in your hands

I will learn what you teach

And do the best that I can

I am ready for love

Here with an offering of

My voice

My Eyes

My soul

My mind

Tell me what is enough

To prove I am ready for love

I am ready

To answer your question from before, I am ready and waiting in my office to tell you how I really fell about you.

--Gil

Forgetting to close his locker, Warrick made his way to Gil's office as fast as he could. When he entered, he found his lover sitting behind his desk, trying desperately not to fidget. When Gil looked up into Warrick's beautiful eyes, he made gasped at the love he saw shining there. Warrick closed the door behind him and made his way over to Gil, who was coming out from behind his desk. Before Warrick could speak, Gil placed a finger over his lips, "I love you Warrick." Then he kissed him like it was the first time he had ever done so. He put all the passion and love he had been afraid to voice into that kiss, and Warrick melted against him. Breaking the kiss, Warrick replied, "I love you too, Gil."

As he turned to leave, Warrick stopped at the door when he realized Gil hadn't moved. "Are you ready?"

"Always," Gil said as he hurried to catch up with his lover, wishing they lived closer.

~*~

Nick smiled as he watched his friends leave the lab together. He would eventually tell Gil the truth, but he wanted to let him sweat it out a little longer. After the last week he had spent listening to Warrick go on and on about Gil, dealing with both of their moods; it was only fair. At least things around the lab would get back to normal.

THE END

Lyrics are from Acoustic Soul- India.Arie © 2005(Motown)