Title: Back to Life and Reality II
Author: Esynnaj
Email: Vebesahshalarc@sbcglobal.com
Disclaimers: no ownership rights and no money made
Pairing: Warrick/Nick
Rating: FRAO
Spoilers: Yes, for Grave Danger and Gum Drops
Summary: Warrick and Nick making the trip back to life and reality together.

Nick had worked too hard to save Cassie McBride for it to be easy for him to just let the little girl walk out of his life. But that was what he was going to have to do. Nineteen-year-old Tammy McBride, Cassie's older sister who had survived the massacre of her family by the simple expedient act of being away at college when it happen, had come home for her. Since Tammy had been revealing an apparent will and determine as strong as Cassie's, Nick had a reluctant admiration for how the young woman was handling herself under the unfortunate circumstances. Returning to the horror of a murdered father, mother and brother and a sister who had been nearly killed by thieves, she was shaken but not broken, dealing with the situation with remarkable aplomb, considering her youth and inexperience.

That steadiness of hers had resulted in her becoming Nick's second choice to see to Cassie's upbringing if there was no way he could have her to raise himself, which was what he very much wished to do. In the past few weeks since he had gotten to know her, he had developed such a unique bond with the little girl, he knew it would be unshakeable and unbreakable. Cassie McBride was tough. A terrible evil had risen to try and destroy her, an innocent who had done nothing to the ones bringing that evil into her life, just as evil had done to him. But she had, with a lot of help from those who cared about her, fought back and survived, just like he'd done. However the court system had decided, because he was a single man and unrelated to her, she could not be with him when he was sure he was be one who, understanding her better than anyone else, could have been the best parent for Cassie.

Her grandmother, her father's mother, had arrived from Kansas to take her. She had seemed to be a kind hearted woman, but Nick had begun to dislike her when her complaints about how Cassie's mother had never been good enough for her son, been the main reason Cassie's father had started selling drugs, had never been a good enough mother to her children and probably had been having an affair with the boys who eventually had robbed and killed the family. Then Cassie's aunt, her mother's sister, had shown up from Michigan also with designs on taking Cassie and Nick had detested her on sight. A brittle, arrogant woman whose mind snapped down tight whenever anyone suggested anything she didn't want to hear, she had hardly spoken directly to Cassie, had disregarded anything Cassie had to say about whom she'd rather live with and the little girl had actively seemed to detest her as much as Nick had. When she had refused to consider listening to the judge or the social workers about what was best for Cassie that, thankfully, had been enough for her not to have any chance of gaining custody of her.

What had assisted with the final decision of the custody matter had been the reading of the McBrides' will in which they left their minor children, Jeremy, the son who had been murdered with them, and Cassie, in the care of their very mature and level headed daughter. She had returned from school and been at the hearing, then had silently shed relieved tears of mingled grief and joy when she had learned she'd have the responsibility and privilege of her sister, much to the evident disappointment of her grandmother and aunt.

After the hearing, Warrick and Nick had driven the two girls back to their home which they had made sure had been cleared of all signs of the deaths that had occurred there. Stepping hesitantly through the front door of the fresh smelling house, Tammy had looked about, taken a deep breath, then turned to hold out her hand to Nick and it had broken his heart how small and fragile it had seemed. But her young voice had been strong, clear and confident when she said, "I know this isn't saying much, but I want to thank you for everything you've done, Mr. Stokes. You got the guy that killed Mom, Dad and Jeremy and brought Cassie back to me alive. I know everybody thinks I'm too young to take good care of her and that you're worried about her, but we're going to do fine together, aren't we, Cassie?"

Cassie had nodded sleepily from where she was pressed to her sister's side with one of Tammy's arms protectively about her frail shoulders. Then she'd said softly, her voice still rusty from disuse, "Uh-huh, cause we're gonna take good care of each other. That's what family's supposed to do."

Smiling down on her sister fondly, Tammy said, "Well, I guess I should get her back to bed. She's had one heck of a busy day, with Grandma and Auntie Mandy coming in and out like they were." With a small, vertical frown appearing between her eyes, Tammy peered through her fly away wisps of blonde hair to ask Nick, "You don't think they can really take her away from me, do you?"

Nick shook his head. "Not a chance," he told her. "Your parents' will was real clear on who they had selected for Jeremy and Cassie to stay with if anything happened to them and that person is you."

"But Grandma and Aunt Mandy kept saying how young I am and how I don't know anything about raising a child. Maybe they can convince a judge I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe they can."

"No, Tammy, honey, they can't. You're nineteen, a legal adult. Your parents had paid off the house and they had plenty of life insurance with very few bills. You won't have any money problems and you're smart. Just like you both just said, you're going to do fine together. You're both going to take very good care of each other."

"But. can Cassie and I still call you if we need something? I don't want to call Grandma because that'll just make her think I don't know what I'm doing and maybe try some more to take Cassie from me. And I can't call Auntie Mandy's because she's already mad at us and will be for a good, long while. I, uh, well, we're going to do really fine, but it'd still make me feel better if I had somebody I trusted a lot to ask questions if I, uh, you know, like, need to figure something out."

Warrick felt Nick shiver, glanced into his eyes to see them glistening with an over brightness then moved closer to him as Nick took a deep breath and said, "Tammy, if you need me for anything, whatever it is, you call me. Fact is, you'd better call me. I gave you and Cassie my home number, my cell number and my work number. No matter what time it is and no matter what the problem is, no matter how big or small, you use any of those numbers. If you just feel like saying hi at three or four o'clock in the morning, then you do that, hear me? I'll be there for you, 24/7."

Biting her lip, Tammy dropped her head, nodding it a bit, after Nick said that. When she lifted it, tears were floating in her eyes but not a single one of them fell. She smiled through her tears, looked down at her sister and said softly, "Say good night, Cassie."

Instead of just speaking, Cassie stepped forward to give Nick a big hug. He knelt down for it and they clung to each other for a long moment. Then Cassie, much to his surprise, gave Warrick a hug as well before returning to her sister's side. As she did so, she held up her arms to Tammy and Tammy, already showing that abnormally strong capacity of all good mothers, no matter what their size, when it comes to picking up a weary child, no matter how heavy that child might be, competently picked up her sister as if she was weightless. Wrapping her arms about Tammy's neck and legs about Tammy's waist, Cassie dropped her head to her sister's and murmured, "G'night, Nick. G'night, Warrick. I love you guys. Please don't forget about me. Please come back to see Tammy and me, okay?"

"We will," Warrick said because Nick was now too choked up to speak, was clutching both forearms with his fingers as if that was the only way he could stop himself from falling apart. "And that's a promise," Warrick told Cassie for the both of them as he came nearer to comfort Nick during Cassie's departure.

Very gently, Warrick slid his arm around Nick as they watched Tammy walk away from them down the hallway with her sister. Drowsily, Cassie waved to them as she was taken away. They waved back and kept waving until Tammy disappeared around a corner. It took almost two full minutes, but when the tension finally eased in Nick, he, wearily leaning his head against Warrick's shoulder, said with a soft sigh. "I really did want her, Warrick. I know I would've been a good father for her, the best. I felt every bit of the pain she went through."

Stroking Nick's waist, Warrick said, "I know, man. I never doubted that. If there'd been a chance in hell of you getting her, I would've been right in your corner helping you to do whatever you had to do to become her father."

Smiling a little, Nick told him, "No you wouldn't've. You couldn't've. I wouldn't've let you if that would've meant me giving you up. That would've been too big of a price to pay. I would've had to give her up before I could have given you up."

"Well, it might not have come to that. Social workers don't always know what the fuck they're talkin' about. Gay men get to adopt kids all the time now and it don't have to always be boys, like she said. We could've raised a little girl as well as any little boy and we both know that."

With another sigh, Nick said, "Well, I guess we should be glad she's at least got some immediate family left. I know good and goddamned well I would have fought the system clear to the Supreme Court before I would've let her grandmother or that bitchy aunt of hers have Cassie. That woman could sap the spirit outa Jesus Christ. And what the hell kinda idea is it to want a child so you can fix the mistakes you made with her father? That's what Cassie's grandmother said to me. She'd fucked up her son and wanted to make things right with Cassie. Uh-uh. Tammy might be young but she's better for Cassie than either of those two women."

"Then things have turned out right. Tammy plans to stay in Vegas and she just said she wants you around to help her out. Nothing could've worked out better'n this for Cassie or Tammy. Maybe you won't end being just Cassie's father, but a father figure for both those girls, since they don't have one anymore. From the looks of things, Nicky, you might be better for 'em than the one they had. At least you're not growing marijuana in your basement."

"Nope, I sure as hell ain't doin' that." Nick stood up away from Warrick and stretched to the ceiling, relieving the kinks that had been settling into his bones, yawning hugely as he did so. Then he leaned back on Warrick and mumbled, "Ricky, I'm finished. I'm so tired, I can't even see straight. Can we go home now? I really, really wanna go home now."

Warrick grinned. Sometimes Nick sounded so much like a little boy. He caught Nick around the neck, kissed him solidly and said, "Yeah, man, we can go home now. I can't think of anything else I'd rather do." Then he dug out his keys and led the way outside to his Tahoe.

Just as he had during and after solving the murder of Cassie's parents and brother and her attempted murder, for the next few nights, Nick slept with his legs and arms wound tightly around Warrick and his head burrowed under his chin. It was closer than he had done after that nerve wracking period of time after Crane's attack when he hadn't felt safe in his own apartment for months and much the same as he had started doing after Warrick had begun sharing his bed when he'd been reliving, night after night, the horror of his underground burial by Walter Gordon. The difference now was his nightmares were never quite as intense and all of his restlessness eased quicker once Warrick was awakened by it to soothe him back into a restful sleep. Still, Warrick was concerned by how worn out he always seemed to be and about the circles that appeared under his eyes. So he suggested Nick needed to take a break and just get away everything. It was a suggestion he was to soon regret making, for Nick not only thought it was a good idea but thought Warrick should come with him and was able to somehow convince Grissom to agree with him about that.

The next thing Warrick heard about it was, as they sat at the table over breakfast, "Hey, Ricky, got something to tell you, man. I went in and kind of mentioned to Gris about you and me've been talking about. He thinks we should do it."

With his head down reading the sports page and not paying close attention, Warrick mumbled, "Do what, Nick?"

"Go on vacation together. I put us in to take two weeks off in a month and he said that'd be okay, that he'd be able to get enough coverage for us to do that."

Lifting his head, Warrick stared at Nick as he asked, "You have got to be kidding. Grissom's agreed to let us go on vacation at the same time?"

"Yep, he sure has. He said he thinks it would be good for me. Ecklie did good and pulled some new money into the lab. Grissom's got Greg and that new guy who's just moved to midnights who looks like he'll do all right. Days got three new rookies that should be ready to fill in by then if the need rises and swing has a few extra people too. Gris said for us to put our paperwork in and we're good to go."

After saying that, Nick stood up to begin clearing the dishes from the table and taking them to the sink. Sitting back and watching him with sudden suspicion, Warrick inquired with a frown, "Nicky, where is you wanna go on this vacation?"

Taking a deep breath, Nick answered, "I wanna go home, Warrick. I wanna take you to meet my parents and my sisters."

After a stunned silence, Warrick snapped, "Uh-uh. I've told you about a hundred different times in a hundred different ways I do not wanna go there. Your home's in a place I never have wanted to go. I don't ever wanna go to Texas and you know why."

Moving about at the sink, Nick said quietly, "Well, I'm hoping you'll change your mind and do it for me."

"Aw, that's not fair!!" Rising abruptly to his feet, Warrick stalked about the kitchen after Nick, whining, "Man, I can't go to Texas!!"

"Why can't you?"

"You know why I can't!! They like to put black men in prison and execute us down there. Not only that, we look at 'em wrong and they kill black men in Texas!! They'll especially kill a gay black man in Texas!! They catch me fuckin' with you down there, won't be you some KKK muthafucker'll drag behind a pick up truck down some dark, country dirt road, it'll be me, man!! And don't go tell me it doesn't still happen, cause it does!! What happened with James Byrd was only about six or seven years ago, ya know."

"Rick, that happened in some itty bitty hick town about a million miles away from where I'm from and didn't have anything to do with the man being gay, only with him being black."

"That DON'T make it any better!! James Byrd was still dead and pulled into about fifty different pieces after they finished with him!! I'm not up for that, Nick!!"

"Where I live, you won't have to be up for it. I grew up just outside the Dallas/Fort Worth area and it's just about as urban and civilized there as it is here. You'll be safe there and not have anything to worry about."

"Nick, just the idea of crossing south of the Mason/Dixon line into redneck territory makes me wanna pee my pants."

"Okay. I hear you and know there still aren't ignoramuses out there who do shitty things to innocent people. Considering I've had assholes like Crane and Gordon come after me, I'm proof positive evil exists and it hurts people and that those it hurts aren't just African-Americans. Now, don't take that as me saying black people haven't suffered more than their share of pain because of stupid, radical racists. All I'm saying is evil comes in all shapes and sizes and you just have to live your life aware of that. You can't hide out in some corner hoping it'll go away because it won't. And don't try to tell me any different, cause it's been you telling me that over and over for the past few weeks, ya know."

Slowing his stride so Warrick was able to catch up with him as he kept moving away, Nick tugged on Warrick's shirt to pull him close so he could kiss him so hard that it left them both breathless . Then he said, "I wouldn't ask you to come with me if I thought, even for one second, anything could happen to you."

"I know that. But you don't have a devious mind and some of those dyed-in-the-wool shit-for-brains down your way might not see things your way."

"But I promise you'll be safe."

"Promises like that can be made, Nicky. They can't always be kept."

"Aw, man, don't have such a closed mind."

"ME not have a closed mind?!!! Are you telling ME not to have a closed mind?!!! Hey, it's your white robe, hooded buddies down Texas way who're still living in the stone ages and would love to bring slavery back first chance they got who're living in the stone ages, Nick!! I am not going down there!! Uh-uh!! No way!!!"

Warrick fussed for the entire next four weeks Nick serenely went about making traveling arrangements for their trip to Texas. He fussed and fumed, pacing and wildly throwing his arms about as Nick was stoically and calmly packing their suitcases, patiently listening to Warrick's litany of complaints but paying no attention to them. He was still muttering under his breath, cussing a blue streak, when they boarded the jet that would take them away from Las Vegas for two weeks to deposit them, as far as Warrick's way of thinking went, in the underbelly of the whole country that was the worst place for a black man to be. Even landing at one of the largest and busiest airports in the world that had a rainbow of colorful humanity bustling about did nothing to change his firmly entrenched mind.

The first thing he did after coming to ground was to take a look about as he walked into the waiting area and mutter, "I'm gonna die here."

Nick grinned up at him but had no time to say anything as there came a sudden shrieking of feminine squeals and a gaggle of adult females swarmed Nick, so strongly pushing Warrick back from the aggressively loving circle they formed around Nick that they nearly shoved him off his feet in their rush to get to their brother. With a bemused grin, Warrick moved away to watch while the five sisters hugged and kissed Nick, fondly tousling his hair as if he was still a little boy until it was standing up on end. They were of different sizes and shapes, but all had a spirited vibrancy, zestfulness and the same similarity of features and fresh, clean coloring that identified them as close family members. Each was strongly built, one being so muscular that she was able to lift Nick from his feet and swing him around.

Nick fully engaged in their rambunctious, boisterous greeting for a long while, then turned to Warrick with a proud look on his face and introduced him as, "Ladies, this here is Warrick Brown. He's the man who helped to save my life and is still making it a much better life for me. Warrick, these are my sisters, Pamela, Lizzie, Wanda Mae, Brenda and Dexter."

Warrick had to grin at the last name. "Dexter?" he questioned.

Dexter, a tomboyish, breezy blonde, said, "Real name's Donna Jean. I was the one born just before Nicky when Dad was worried he wasn't gonna have any boys. So he designated me as his male heir and started calling me Dexter. It stuck even after Nicky came along." Grabbing at his hand, she shook it solidly and gave Warrick a bright, engaging grin, adding, "Glad we finally get a chance to meet cha. Guess you're the guy who's been screwing my little brother's brains out, huh?"

If Warrick hadn't been so numbed by her query, he might have blushed. As it was, his dark complexion only grayed as he reacted in numbed shock before turning to Nick who was shaking his head but had a wide grin on his face. "What did she say?" Warrick asked, hoping he hadn't heard what he was sure he had heard.

"Remember," Nick reminded him, "I told you my sisters know about us and they do speak their minds."

One of the other sisters, the tall, burly one who had picked Nick up, pushed forth and said, "We certainly do and we wanna know what your intentions are toward the baby of the family. Are they honorable? If they're not, I'd advise you to consider yourself warned; like most people down this way, we've all got shotguns attached in the back of the cabs on our pick-up trucks and will put 'em to good use if your plan's to milk the cow without paying for it first."

A third one, very trim but looking elegantly older than the others said, "What my sister means is. are you the marrying kind?" Then she frowned and pursed her lips as she put a finger next to her lips, tapping her face as she added, "But marriage between a same sex couple isn't legal in Texas, is it? In fact, what you two probably do in bed as frequently and as furiously as you can isn't legal either. From personal experience, I know these things" She sighed, shook her head, then waved an airy hand as she said, "Oh, well, never mind." Then spearing Warrick with a very sharp eye, she demanded, "What say we just put it this way. Break my baby brother's heart. Hurt him any which way. And I WILL personally rip your balls off and feed them to the hogs. You would do well to believe me when I say this. Next to my Aunt Maddie, I am proudly known as the biggest ball breaker in the county. You can ask my ex-husband, Ben, about that/ I'm sure he'd be glad to expound on that matter for a goodly hour or two. So consider yourself forewarned." Then, prettily and brightly, she smiled at Warrick and gave him an assertive nod as she finished up with, "There. I think that says it all."

Another sister, almost as burly as the one who had swung Nick around but not quite as tall, stepped forward to say, "You look like a healthy, young fella. What's your trouble here? Why haven't you gotten Nick pregnant yet? There some biological problem? Are you shooting blanks or what? We have got a good doctor in town who can check you out. Because, see, our parents are expecting him to produce some babies pretty soon here. All of us would like to see some little Stokes running around the place and we girls can't deliver on that. Much as we've tried to train 'em different, our macho, asswipe husbands got this thing about their kids having their last names and we couldn't get 'em to let us have a single one with the last name of Stokes. So it looks like getting Dad and Mom the little Stokes they want is gonna haveta be left up to Nick." Looking very serious, she crossed her thick arms over her ample chest, then asked, "Now are you capable of that or not, Mr. Brown?"

For a moment, Warrick just stared at her in amazement. Then he decided the only thing to do when confronted with crazy people was to get crazy with them. "Well," he drawled, "I've been going at it to the best of my ability. But I think your brother's been too tense for conception to happen. That's why I brought him home. I thought he could relax here so things might just happen, natural like. If they don't, we're thinkin' about getting him that surgery that'll shift his equipment inside out and turn him into a real woman. Then we'll go and have in vitro fertilization. Maybe that'll do the trick."

The sisters all stared at him for a time then stared at each other and burst out into loud, raucous laughter. Another sister, tall, slender and dark haired, the spitting image of Nick, came forward and linked arms with Warrick. "Come along, Mr. Brown. We're not gonna mess with you anymore. You just measured up to snuff. Let's get on over to that wheelie/whirly jigger thing downstairs and get your bags so we can take you home. It's time for you to meet the folks."

The sisters had arrived in two vans and, after bundling Nick, Warrick and their luggage into one with Pam, Nick's oldest sister and Dexter, the youngest girl, both vans took off at the speed of lightening. Warrick was in the front seat with Pam who drove with one finger while leaning over to do about ten other things at once, a long, sweet smelling, skinny brown cigarette hanging haphazardly from a corner of her mouth. While trying to keep an eye on the careening traffic that Pam appeared not to notice at all as she cut in and out, Warrick could not take his eyes off her mouth. He was fascinated as she talked without once losing what looked like a loose grip on her cigarette. He was already noticing the Stokes siblings were nonstop conversationalists and Nick was very easily falling back into what clearly had to be old habits, joyously joining in like he had never left. He and Dexter started laughing loudly and bouncing about almost as soon as the vans were on the move, eventually ending up wrestling about like children as they headed home. As the eldest and figuring it was her duty to quiet them down, Pam kept hollering at them to stop but did so without any true fervor in her voice and periodically snatched glances back at them in order to accurately aim a handy object she had picked up to throw at them, her way of participating in the fun. Warrick didn't want her to have any fun; he wanted her to do nothing besides keep her eyes on a very busy expressway. But she seemed able to handle all her simultaneous activities with admirable competency, so he sat back, closed his eyes and prayed to reach wherever they were going in one piece.

Warrick dared to look about only after they left the freeway and the vans slowed down to a decent pace. They passed through several small towns, each increasingly small with an increasingly western and less populated feel to it until they were traveling down a deserted, cleanly paved road that took them through a high arch with the words of Ranchero Santiago. After another mile or more, they pulled into the inner side of a tree lined circular drive next to an expansive colonial style home with tall columns and a wrap around veranda. On the wide, beautifully landscaped lawn before the house, nearly a dozen children were running happily about with four men and a woman who, much to Warrick's amazement, walked up to firmly kiss Pam on the mouth as she stepped from the van.

He looked at Nick, but saw that he was staring at them even harder than Warrick had stared himself. Pam giggled, shrugged and said to him as she slipped a fond arm around the shorter, blonder, just as slim and attractive woman, "I guess I forgot to tell you about Kathy and me, huh?"

"Well, yeah," Nick gasped, in overwhelmed astonishment, "I guess you did guess to forget to tell me about you and Kathy."

"Well, I did tell you about Ben and me getting divorced, didn't I? Well, his constant cheating wasn't the only reason that happened. He claims she's the real reason why. The idiot divorce court almost took my kids away from my because of that stupid man. Good thing Daddy had enough pull in high places so they couldn't get away with that mess." Giving a tilt of her head toward Warrick, she winked and said to Nick, "Looks like you're not the only one who's got shit to talk about, little brother." Smiling gaily, Pam pointedly turned away from her shocked brother to say, "Come on up to the house, Warrick. We'll get your bags out the van later."

As the sisters piled from the vans, their husbands and children surrounded them and Warrick saw the rainbow from the airport extended to the Stokes family. Dexter's husband's, Miguel Ortega, was a Mexican activist, while Wanda Mae, the dark, pretty one who very much resembled Nick, was wedded to Carl Jackson, a corporate lawyer with a lighter complexion than Warrick but who was clearly an African-American. Brenda was married to Steve Douglas, a fellow weight lifter, while Lizzie, the one who had inquired as to when Warrick planned to get Nick pregnant and was almost as muscular as Brenda, had married Adrian Donati, a very handsome, very androgynous Italian model. As introductions were again made, Warrick had to shake his head in wonderment. Nick's family was already turning out not to be at all what he had expected. The sisters' appearances themselves were deceiving. You would not have thought so, but burly Brenda was a wedding planner and along with Wanda Mae, owned a bridal shop in Dallas. Formerly conventional suburbanite housewife Pam, like her lover, Kathleen Taylor, was a lawyer, but a public defender, very unlike her father who had been, and Kathy, who was now a prosecutor. Lizzie, like Brenda, traveled part time on the competitive weight lifting circuit, but was mainly devoting herself to being a practical homemaker and mother while Dexter was following in her mother's footsteps and learning the management of the cattle ranch that had been in the family for many generations.

Judge and Mrs. Stokes had been sitting on the veranda, but came down the steps as their large family came toward them. Warrick had met them when they had came to Las Vegas when Nick had been entombed underground by Walter Gordon. But the very unfortunate circumstances then had kept his acquaintance with them brief and professional. This would be his first time to meet them on a personal basis. Slim, seeming reserved, growing older with a quiet class, Mrs. Stokes greeted him very warmly, hugging him as if she had known him for years. However, the sharp eyed Judge was more standoffish, shaking hands firmly while speaking pleasantly enough but still maintaining a cautious, careful and friendly distance. He only relaxed in the following hours, without letting Warrick know of that relaxation, as he watched the easy interaction between his son and Warrick and after noticing how quickly his grandchildren took to the stranger. The younger ones tumbled with him over the lawn just like they did with their older siblings and cousins while the older children engaged him and the younger parents in a zestful and competitive touch football game that solidified Warrick's entry into the family. There was none of the awkwardness Warrick had assumed he might have to endure. Without expressing the slightest concern about his race or asking any questions about what relationship he had with their brother and son, they invited him in and allowed him to become one with them. The only person with any doubts was Nick.

That night, after Warrick had gone to sleep in the guest room next to Nick's bedroom, Nick, unable to sleep, went down downstairs to go outside and stand at the corral near the ranch's house where a few of the horses were up and grazing. The ranch had been in Nick's mother's family for six generations, had granted to them by the Spanish king to her great-great grandfather before Texas had become part of the United States. He'd brought it back from the United States to prevent his family from losing the ranch once Texas had forcefully been taken from Mexico. As the overprotected and very doted upon baby of a loving family, Nick had grown up to adulthood there and loved the place. He'd only decided to leave when keeping the secret of his homosexuality from his parents, friends and the wider, uncompromising community had finally become too difficult.

It had rattled him to return and discover his oldest sister, the one who had always been the one to fit serenely and perfectly into the system, had broken free and taken a lesbian lover. It definitely wasn't that he wasn't happy for her. It was quite the opposite, in fact. He had never liked Ben, Pam's stick-up-the-ass, two-timing, extremely well connected, state senator ex-husband. But it was too big of a change. He had come back hoping home would be a comfortable cocoon where he could huddle down for a minute with Warrick by his side, claiming him as "just a friend," and lick his wounds in his mother's arms while getting sage advice from his father. But that simply was not going to be possible. Pam had gone and made the "just a friend" line a bald faced lie. If he was to pull it on Warrick in front of his parents, with his sister openly living salaciously with Kathy, he was being a hypocrite and a coward.

But the very thought of ever admitting to his father that he was gay made everything in him tie up in knots. It was tantamount to declaring himself a tenderfoot pansy in Nick's mind, the worst thing, he was convinced, he could do to himself in his father's eyes, particularly when it came to a man as masculine and macho as Warrick was. He could just imagine the calculations that would go on in his father's head, the questions as to whether Nick was the "man" or the "woman" in the relationship, and that absolutely made his flesh crawl, made his stomach turn nauseating flips. No way could he put himself or his father through that.

Nick was not the only one unable to sleep. Maternal instincts never die and Mrs. Stokes, sensing that one of her children, adult though they all may be, was restless and worried, rose in the night to find out which one it was and where that one was. She hunted until she discovered who it was, where he had gone and went outside where Nick was. Gathering her robe about her, Mrs. Stokes leaned on the corral next to her son and said quietly, "Nicky, when I was a little girl, I promised myself I'd never become the type of parent who interfered with her children's lives. My mother was and I did not and do not want to be like her. But I am about to break that rule. I've worried for longer than you can imagine about a growing sadness that has been in your eyes for years. And I've been worried that it'd get worse with all you've been going through recently. But it's not there anymore, Nicky. Since you've been home is the first time I haven't seen it since you were in junior high school. You are very happy now. Something has brought about a very wonderful change in you and I'm curious about that. Can you tell me why that is, son?"

For a moment, everything in Nick wanted to confess the one secret he had been carrying around for decades and not imparted to his father and mother. But he knew, if he told his mother, it would eventually get back to his father and that was more than he could handle. So he shook his head and said, "Maybe it's just finally growing up and learning to deal with life, Mom. I've had a lot of help from you and Dad, from Warrick, from other friends back in Las Vegas to get through what's been going on with me and I guess it's paying off."

Nick was not looking directly at his mother as he said that, but caught her shoulders as they slightly slumped from the corner of his eye, sensed that he had disappointed her somehow. "Well, whatever the reason for your happiness, I want it to continue. As for your current sleeplessness, do you remember Cecil the Bear that you used to take to bed with you and that helped you to settle down at night when you were a little boy? I know you're a man now, but it might still serve the same purpose. We still have it. It's in the guest room next to yours where we put Warrick, if you care to hunt it up. I'm sure if you're quiet when you go in, you won't wake him up."

Smiling, Nick hung his head, still not looking at his mother. Nor did she look at him as she said, "I'm going to say this, Nicky, and don't want you to say anything in return because I don't want to hear any lies or protests from you. The sadness of decades is gone from you and, whatever the reason for that, I'm thankful for it. I thought it might come back after all you've gone through, but it hasn't and I won't accept the responsibility of being the one who might cause it to come back simply because you have chosen to live your life in a manner you think might not be acceptable to your father or myself. I will love you forever, Nicholas Stokes, no matter who you decide you're going to be with. Therefore, what I, as your mother, demand that you to, and do right now, is go upstairs to your young man, get in bed with him and go to sleep." With Nick turning his head to stare at her shock, Mrs. Stokes impatiently swiped away a lock of hair that had blown into her face and, staring straight ahead, added, "Of course, I'm well aware you might do more than sleep. I am rather uncomfortable with that notion, but not much more so than I am with the obvious notion of what your sisters do with their husbands and what Pam does with Kathleen. Although I'd prefer all of you remain virginal or at least celibate for life, I wouldn't have this beautiful group of grandchildren that I do if I didn't accept my children are having sexual relations of many differing sorts. That's all I have to say about the matter. I just thought you should know that I know, so you can finally stop hiding what are from me. I'm your mother, young man. I spent fifteen hours giving birth to you. I knew you before you knew yourself and know you better than you know yourself. You need to stop pretending with me."

Nick turned to look after his mother as she went back into the house. Then he sighed and turned back to watch the stars awhile longer. After remaining at the corral for another ten minutes, he also went back into the house. He climbed the stairs, opened the door to Warrick's room and went in. After locating Cecil the Bear on the shelf where it had been placed by his mother, grinning, he picked it up and wandered over to Warrick's bed to climb into it with him. Warrick mumbled in his sleep, turning to drowsily gather Nick into his arms by instinct. Never completely awakening, he eased back to sleep with Nick watching him. Putting his arms around Warrick, still with Cecil the Bear in one hand, Nick snuggled into the other man's dark, comforting warmth. Fading into blissful sleep, resting more comfortably than he had since coming back home, he smiled and thanked God for the parents to whom he had been born. He could not have asked for a better set.

The next morning when Warrick woke up, even before his eyes opened, he automatically moved closer to the familiar heat of the body pressed against his own. Then the memory of where he was flooded back and, his eyes snapping up, he abruptly sat up in the bed to stare down at Nick as if he was a rattle snake that had crawled into bed with him. After he had gotten over some of his shock at finding Nick there, Warrick roughly shook him awake and hissed at him, "Man, have you entirely lost your mind?!! Get up and get the hell outa here before somebody walks in and finds you here!!"

"Won't matter," Nick mumbled, reaching for Warrick to get back the cozy little nest he had formed next to Warrick. "It was Mom that sent me in to you last night. She came outside when I couldn't sleep and told me to get into bed with you. She knows all about us, man, and I didn't have to tell her anything. So c'mon back here and lay down. You're ruining my rest."

"Well, maybe your Mom knows, but bet your Dad doesn't and he's the one with a horsewhip out in the garage. You get up and get out."

Nick grinned and sat up with Warrick. "Fine then, be that way. We'll both get up. It's branding season. That's going on out on the range, but we're gonna stay a little closer to home this morning and check out something else first off. It's also a cutting day in the corral out behind the big barn and I think you should come on down and see what that's all about before we head out to see what branding looks like."

But when Warrick got down to the corral and saw what was going on, he stopped next to Mrs. Stokes who was standing at a fence and refused to walk one single step further. Through a narrow gateway, the ranch hands were roughly pushing calves, one by one into a small fenced in area where other ranch hands kneeling with long, wicked knives in their hands, were bloodily turning the screaming young bulls into steers, a process that city boy Warrick had never seen and now certainly did not want to watch. Swallowing hard to keep his gore down, he didn't turn and go back into the house solely because he wasn't about to look the coward in front of Nick, his sister and their individual spouses, all of who were among the ranch hands doing the work.

Noting his discomfort, Mrs. Stokes said, "I can sympathize with and understand you turning green, but castration's a very essential competitive procedure out here for us. When it's done properly, castration of the bull calves increases our profit margin. We get more money on the market for steers than we do for bulls and have to take that into consideration. For one thing, steers are easier to handle than bulls are and tend to have more meat on their bones."

"Aw, but look how little and cute. Do you haveta do it while they're so young?"

"It's better to do it while they're young. Some producers castrate calves when they're only two or three days old. The older ones suffer more from castration and are more difficult to handle during the process. The latest to castrate should be no more than a month or so before weaning to insure that's quicker and less stressful for the calves. You don't clear as much profit for bull calves castrated after weaning. They don't look as good."

Being a male, Warrick empathetically flinched as a calf was cut and squealed from the pain. Mrs. Stokes smiled and said, "There's three methods of castration, the burdizzo, which is a clamp that cuts off the blood supply to the testicle, which ends up causing it to reabsorb into the body. Or you can use an elastrator, a band we could put on that basically does the same thing, cut off the blood supply. But we cut here on the ranch with an emaculator. It's a very simple surgical procedure and quicker and much safer to my way of thinking. We just remove their testicles, apply an antiseptic, an insect repellant, release them then keep a close eye on them to make sure they don't suffer any adverse aftereffects. It's admittedly not pleasant, but it's necessary. Castration's a very important economic management tool and an important technique that has to be performed for increased financial return that is always pumped back into the ranch's operation. We do it as early as do to minimize the stress to calves and it must be done correctly. Sloppy castration means lower profits for us and unnecessary pain for the calves."

Nick rose up from where he was and yelled, "Hey, Warrick, wanna come over here and give us a hand?" When Warrick frowned and didn't move from Mrs. Stokes' side, he grinned and added, "Or are you chicken?" That did it. Warrick hopped the fence, stalked grimly over to where Nick was and spent the rest of the morning and afternoon learning the ins and outs of castrating bull calves. Mrs. Stokes' smile widened. She had to admit, the young man was game to try anything once.

When Warrick walked into the room he had been given as the sun was going down, bloody, dirty, hungry and exhausted, the first thing he noticed when he looked about was his belongings weren't where he had put them. In fact, he could see none of them. Going further in with a quizzical look on his face, he came to an abrupt halt upon seeing Nick's father sitting at the desk in the corner, fingers tapping lightly on the desk with his eyes boring into Warrick as soon as Warrick turned toward him. Slightly and curiously cocking his head, Warrick nodded cautiously and said, "Hey, Judge Stokes.."

"Good evening, Warrick. Have you enjoyed your day?"

"It was. real. interesting. I gotta tell ya, Judge. I'm glad I'm not cattle. That branding thing yall do? That is a bitch. I'm especially glad I'm not a bull you don't plan to breed. I wouldn't wanna be a steer. They have to go through hell, don't they?"

Having evidently seen more than he had ever wanted to of the cutting of the bulls, Warrick stated his comment so seriously yet still so comically, the Judge had to smile at it. Then he severely straightened his face and speared him with such an uncompromising look, Warrick was positive that it must have sent many a lawyer, along with their clients, screaming from his court room to cry in their beer over the years and said, "Mr. Brown, I've just one thing to say to you and we'll drop this matter for good. Every day, I thank God for what you and the rest of your crew down in Las Vegas did for my son in his great time of need. All of you went above and beyond the call of duty for him. I particularly have you to thank for him being happier and mentally healthier right now than I've seen him in a helluva long time and that includes before that asshole Gordon did the shit he did. I'm pretty damn sure that's due to you. But I also must add I am also pretty damn sure a lot of what you do together is still illegal and frowned on down here in Texas. So I suggest you keep that, as the children say today, on the down low like you've been doing and I mean that literally. Some of his friends are still of the good ole boy persuasion and might not understand."

Warrick grinned and looked down at the floor. Then he lifted his head, cocking it while he met the judge's eyes. "I wasn't thinking, judge, that you knew about what we really were to each other and I sure wasn't thinking you'd understand. I don't think Nick does either. He hasn't even told you he's gay, has he?"

"No, he hasn't and I wish he would. It must be hard on him, having to keep it a secret all this time. He has to have realized the wife and I aren't stupid. I didn't catch on, but she suspected Nick wasn't quite, ah, flying the straight and narrow as he pretended to be by the time he was in college and the girls knew when he was in high school. When Nick decided to move to Las Vegas and I was determined to stop him, they sat me down and did an intervention to explain why it was better for him to make that move. That's how I found out. I've never told him that I know because it's his place to come to me with something like that. Otherwise, it's an invasion of his privacy and my wife and I have never been parents who've interfered with how our children chose to live their lives, as long as it made them happy and didn't hurt them or anyone else."

"He's been afraid to tell you. Your approval is the most important thing in the world to him."

"I don't know about that. From the way he waxes enthusiastic about your Dr. Grissom, I've begun to believe that's the man he most wants approval from."

Warrick laughed a little. "Naw, that's not how it is. Gris is kinda like a replacement father figure for a lot of us. He's been a mentor for us and he's smart as hell. We all respect the hell outa the guy. But it's you that Nick wants approval from the most. And he's worried he'll lose it if he tells you something like what we were just talking about."

"Well, he won't and I'd appreciate if you'd prod him into confiding in me. I am his father and I'd love him if he was a rapist and serial killer." The judge was grinning as he drawled, "But I am a lawman and would still pull the plug on 'em, if it'd ever come down to that. It would break my heart and I'd still love 'em while I was doing it." The judge delivered his brief and bluff trademarked punch to Warrick's shoulder which hurt more than a little bit and was his indication their little friendly conversation was complete. "Well, lecture time is over, young man. Go get cleaned up and come on down for dinner."

As the Judge started from the room, he turned back and said, "Oh, and by the way. The wife's moved all your things over to Nick's room. Appears he had some trouble sleeping last night and that concerns her. She wants him to get his rest and guess he gets that better if you're in bed next to him." Having said that remarkable thing, the Judge casually strolled out to leave one very amazed and open mouthed Warrick staring after him. Nobody in the entire Stokes family, parents included, was turning out to be anything like he'd assumed they would.

It was until a couple of nights late that Warrick concluded he had come with the right words to say at the right time that might convince Nick he should tell his father about his personal life. It was third night they had slept together but Nick had refused to have sex in his parents' home, the very idea of that unnerving him. Therefore Warrick had crawled between his legs, split them wide open and gone down on him as he slept, consequently awakening Nick already at too high a fever pitch to have any desire whatever to stop Warrick from his current activities. When Nick's moans became a tad too loud, Warrick rose to replace his mouth with one hand while he sealed his lips to Nick's in a successful preventive effort to keep him from arousing the rest of the household. Bubbling with soft laughter and flinching at the sounds of the bed creaking from Nick's constant motions he was unable to adequately restrain, Warrick worked Nick until he finally came, splattering their bodies with wet heat.

Kissing him tenderly while he was about to lie down on Nick to engage him in a discussion of what he needed to tell his parents, Warrick was distracted from that when Nick wrapped his legs about him, humped up wildly beneath him, moving his hips in a circular patterns so their moistened lower bodies slid together in a manner that got to Warrick deep down. Reaching in to gather his softened and Warrick's hardened cock in one hand, Nick stroked them as one, hissing in a demanding whisper, "Oh no you will not, man, ain't no way you get away with half stepping on me. You started this and you will finish it. You know good and goddamn well I never feel we're done 'til you've cum inside me. So get to it. Otherwise, I'll come away from this still feelin' empty."

Warrick had no problem with that. He was happy to oblige. Not about to cause Nick any undue pain, he slowed things down in order to fully prepare Nick. After he had amply done the stretching and lubrication, engaged in a little joyous foreplay, he remounted Nick to penetrate him in easy stages, riding him deep and riding him slow and making it last long enough for Nick's level of excitement to return and his erection to regenerate. The pleasure became so great that Nick soon began panting constantly and helplessly clinging to Warrick, existed on a sharpened knife's edge of ecstasy while he was beginning to thrust diligently and frantically, seeking that second release. Once that had been given to Nick, and only after that was given to him, did Warrick go after his own climax, driving harder and deeper inside Nick, plumbing his depths, drew a series of breathless gasps from the baby of the Stokes clan while his body was being ruthlessly plundered.

Nick jammed his fist into his mouth to stop himself from crying out as Warrick squeezed him tight and poured his essence into him, wincing as Warrick, groaning aloud, bit down on Nick's throat to muffle his own passionate sounds. Giggling as he laid back and stretched out under Warrick, Nick hit him upside the head and said, "Well, I don't think the bite on the neck was necessary, you fuckin' vampire. That hurt."

"Sorry," Warrick murmured, rolling to the side while trying to get his breath back. "Only way I could come up with to keep your Mom from bustin' up in here and thinkin' I was killing you or something."

Just to imagine that scenario made Nick shudder and shake his head. "Nope, I will give ya that one. Sure wouldn't want her coming in here right now."

Sensing an opening, Warrick went for it. "Actually, that might not turn out as bad. Both your Mom and Dad got it goin' on, man. I never would've thought I'd come here and see your sisters with who they're with and your parents so cool with that. Look it how easy they are about Pam being with Kathy. Betcha they already know more about you than you and how you're living than you think."

"Naw, it's different with me. Pam's already done the white picket fence and having three kids thing. She went through some serious misery with her ex-husband and got a right to some happiness. But I'm the only boy. Mom might be able to handle it, but Dad's still waiting for me to settle down, bring Cindy Lou or Shirley home and have a passel of baby Stokes to carry on the family name. I'm the only one who can do that for him. The girls can't. It's gonna disappoint the hell outa him when he finds out I'd rather get fucked by a man than fuck a woman."

"Hm, I don't know about that. The Judge seems like a man who'd love you no matter what you do and not be disappointed, as long as it makes you happy."

"Warrick, this conversation is over. I wish I could tell 'em, but I just can't. I came home planning to do that, but I just can't. So let's go to sleep and forget about it. You mean well, but it is not gonna happen this time around. Maybe it will later, not now."

The next morning, as Nick was going down the stairs with Warrick, they were joined by Pam and Kathy, who were living at the Judge's house until they found a place of them own. Pam noticed the red mark on Nick's neck, pulled his collar down, shot a look at Warrick, turned to look at Kathy and both women started laughing. While she maintained her sturdy grip on her brother's shirt, Pam purred, "My, my, my, my, that is one pretty hickey you've got there, little brother."

Nick, with a frown, slapped his sister's hand away and flipped his collar up, growling, "Pammy, you are a real nuisance. You do know that, don't you?"

"Of course I know that, Nicky. I live and breathe to be a nuisance. To be such is the love of my life." Still laughing merrily, Pam skipped down the stairs, calling back to Nick in a singsong voice, "Nicky's got a hickey, Nicky's got a hickey and I'm gonna tell and I'm gonna tell."

Standing a few steps below Nick and Warrick, Kathy fondly watched her lover's happy departure then looked back up at the two men. Smiling, she said, "You might as well get used to the fact the Judge and Mrs. Stokes are going to find out about you and Warrick. That is, Nick, if they haven't figured it out already. I really believe that you're putting an unnecessary pressure on yourself. By the time Pam told them about me and her, they'd known about us for months. I had been the one who'd insisted on putting off telling them, but they were relieved after we finally 'fessed up because Pam was already divorced and they had been worried about where we'd had been staying, wanted her to come home and bring me and the kids, including mine, with her. Your parents are excellent people. So believe me, telling them won't be nearly as bad as you seem to think."

Grinning, Warrick hit Nick on the shoulder. "See? Isn't that what I've been trying to tell you?"

Nevertheless, Nick still shook his head. "It won't be the same with me as it was with Pam. I just know it won't."

But despite Nick's anxiety, secrets had never been an easy thing to keep in his family. The mark on his neck was noticed by every one of his sisters and he was teased about it unmercifully for the rest of the day. The sharp eyes of his mother and father also noticed it and, although they said nothing to him, they discussed the matter of it among themselves. The Judge even pulled an apprehensive Warrick to the side to question him as to whether he had brought up the issue to Nick about revealing his lifestyle choice. He was not pleased after Warrick told him that he had and Nick still was refusing to say anything. Therefore, the Judge decided it was time to take the situation in hand himself.

Several days later on a Sunday evening when Warrick and Nick were among the sisters with their husbands, lovers and children at Judge and Mrs. Stokes dinner table, in the midst of the constant conversation, the Judge cleared his throat, peered at his wife and said, "Honey, don't you have something you should say to Nick?"

She halted her busy hostess activities, looked back at him for a moment then said, "Well, dear, I suppose I do." She turned her eyes toward Nick who was chewing on a bit of food, waited until she had his full attention and inquired sweetly, "Nicholas, darling, would you mind terribly telling the family how long you and Warrick have been lovers? You've held us in thrall long enough. We've been on pins and needles while waiting to hear the whole story."

Nick promptly choked.

Lizzie on one side of him and Brenda on the other burst into laughter and began pounding him on the back to help him clear his throat and get his breath back. Warrick, sitting across from him, had been startled by the highly unexpected question but grinned wickedly at him, having already gotten accustomed to the unusual happening with the Stokes family. The look in the Judge's eye could have cut diamonds as he looked upon his gasping son, but there was love glowing there as he growled at him, "Relax, Poncho. We just wanted to put some honesty into the wind. We love you and have always trusted whatever decision you made about your life. Now, the time's come for you to trust us right back."

The whole story wasn't given out, as Mrs. Stokes had requested, until after the children had been put down for the night and the adults went outside to camp out on the veranda. Then the conversation went long into the night as Nick and Warrick told the tale of their coming together. So had Pam and Kathy, Dexter and Miguel, Wanda Mae and Carl, Brenda and Steve and Lizzie and Adrian related how they had met and fallen in love. The stories told had laughter and tears, joy and pain, sunshine and rain, but they were all overlaid with the constancy, strength, fluidity and love that build a solid foundation for future togetherness.

Then the Judge told about how his family had reacted upon his falling in love at first sight with one bronco riding, straight talking, tomboyish, slip of a girl with the heated blood of Spanish conquistadors and Mexican banditos flowing in her veins. But his parents, both of whom had ancestors who'd come over on the Mayflower, had been humiliated and infuriated. Threatening to disown him if he dared to pursue that course of love he was set on, the Judge had been forced to finish law school by working two jobs when his father did just that. His wife's father and her mother particularly, not to be outdone in the being unreasonable department and additionally angered by the racism and prejudicial behavior of the future Judge's family, had refused to have anything to do with their daughter after she went against their wish for her to cease having anything to do with him. The only one to stand by them during those trying times had been her maternal grandfather, and only because he had willed the ranch to her, rather than her mother or any of his other children, had the Judge and Mrs. Stokes been able to raise their active, lively brood on it.

It clarified much why they were so accepting of one daughter marrying a Mexican, another marrying an African-American, a third marrying a man whose masculinity, in such a macho territory, left much to be desired, and a fourth wedding a man who was macho enough while not quite up to speed when it came to smarts, but was a loving husband and father. It made reasonable and rational their simple acceptance of their oldest daughter pairing up with a woman, selecting lesbian life over being a wedded wife, and their only son choosing to share his life with a man. Their only goal had always been for their children to become happy and healthy adults and in that they had been successful. So they were, as parents, very well satisfied with the job they had done.

Going to bed that night, with Warrick openly accompanying him, Nick was at peace. He felt he had finally come full circle. He had come back home, brought his new world along with him and achieved wholeness. He recognized life would never be perfect. There was too much evil floating around out there. But there was also much beauty. He had grown up surrounded by a great deal of it. He had a great deal of it wrapped up in his arms and lying next to him. He had been given and it certainly did look like he was going to continue to receive a great deal more of that beautiful kind of love. What more from the universe could a man ask?

Smiling, he pulled his sleeping lover closer into his arms, tucked himself closer into Warrick's arms and drifted into a very well deserved, restful slumber, knowing there was absolutely nothing the world could throw at him that he and Warrick, along with his supportive family, could not handle together.