Title: Resolutions
Author: Dee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1503
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes
Warnings: AU and fluff!
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Unbeta-ed: All mistakes will be mine.
A/N 1: Happy New Year to one and all!

 

The man had left a note.

He’d shot his wife and two children and then himself.  He said he was sorry but he couldn’t tell his wife that was in debt and didn’t know what else to do, so he’d put a bullet in the brains of his twenty-nine year old wife, his five year daughter and his three year old son.  Rather than face the music he’d murdered three innocent souls…

It was New Year’s Eve and Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes dealt with the case in their usual professional manner; quietly processing to ensure it was a murder and suicide scene and not what someone else wanted them to think.  It wasn’t; they were both certain that tests back at the lab would prove their theory, conclusively.

They remained quiet as Nick drove them back to the lab; it was difficult, even with their experience, to shake off the depression of such a waste of life.  Both men shared the same thoughts.  So the guy felt compelled to kill himself but why did he have to take his wife and children with him?  It wasn’t like they’d never seen the scenario before; they had, with sickening regularity.

But New Year’s Eve?  The holiday season: joy to all…

They were some way out of Las Vegas and the roads were uncharacteristically quiet, but Nick was not beating himself up to get back to the lab.  He was lost in his own thoughts and jumped, slightly, when Grissom broke the silence.

“I can understand that someone may be depressed and despondent enough to kill themselves…but to kill their wife and children?”  

“I suppose that the severity of his depression made him completely lose any sense or perspective about his actions.”  Nick responded and out of the corner of his eye he saw Grissom look towards him.

“That would be the only explanation that would, in any way, be reasonable…for want of a better word.  I don’t want to contemplate that he knew exactly what he was doing and was consumed with any other emotions…his own children for God’s sake.”

Nick sighed.  “I know.  It’s not easy, is it?”

“Never.”

They lapsed into silence again and after a few minutes Grissom made Nick nearly jump once more.  

“It’s nearly midnight.  Do you make New Year Resolutions?”

“Nah.  You?”

“No.”

They were silent for a little longer, and then Nick spoke again.

“I used to when I was younger but they’d be forgotten by January second.”  He chuckled, humourlessly.

“I usually managed until the third or fourth.”  Grissom turned towards Nick and once more Nick could see out of the corner of his eye that Grissom was smiling.

“That’s what I call willpower.”  And he chuckled again, this time with some mirth.

“Did you have a good Christmas in Dallas?”

Nick laughed to himself at the question.  They’d driven out to the scene and Grissom hadn’t mentioned the holidays once.

“Noisy.  Ate too much, talked too much; usual stuff.  You?”

“I worked, of course, but I did have dinner with my mother.  That was quiet.”  Grissom chuckled this time, and at Nick’s enquiring look he expanded on his answer.  “Mom’s deaf.  I thought you knew?”

“No.  I knew you had that op a few years back, but I didn’t about your Mom.”  He thought for a few moments and then added.  “That’s mean isn’t it?  Calling it a quiet Christmas dinner…your Mom can’t help it.”

Gil laughed out loud. “I meant that there was just the two of us; Mom talks and signs and reads lips, so it isn’t that quiet.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay.  You were thinking of my Mom.”  And he laughed some more.  “You didn’t drink too much then?”

“Not really.  Christmas night we were all pretty merry, but that’s about it.  I did quite a bit of driving around, visiting everyone.  There are dozens of family in a ten mile radius and I have to do the annual rounds with my Mom…meeting all the women lined up for me.”

“Women?”

“Women.  Mom thinks it’s about time I found a nice Texan girl and got married.  It’s difficult.  I mean I’m a bit old for a girl aren’t I?  And there’s no chance of a virgin.”  He laughed and Gil joined him after a moment or two.

“Have you got a girlfriend in Vegas?”  Nick was taken by surprise.  It was easily the most personal question Grissom had ever asked him and really, even the Dallas question was out of character for Grissom.

“Errr.  No.”  And then emboldened by Gil’s question he continued.  “You?”

“Me?”  Nick could hear the shock in his voice.  “No.”

“Maybe I’ll end up like you…”

“…alone?  With missed chances?”

It was Nick’s turn to sound shocked.  “No.  I just meant unmarried.  You’re not alone…are you?”

“Yes.  Of course I am.  No relationship.  No children.  Hardly any family.”  He was stating facts and didn’t sound morose or bitter.

“I suppose I could say the same.”

The men lapsed back into silence.

“I’ve never had any missed chances.”  Nick stated after thinking about it for a short time, he’d never been close to marriage and actually he never would be, not that he’d tell his Momma any time soon.

“I was engaged once…in second grade, Mom made me call it off.  Does that count?”

“I suppose it could.  It’s closer than I’ve been.”

“What kind of woman are you looking for?”

It was just one of those moments Nick decided when he’d come clean; for no other reason than he couldn’t be bothered to lie.

“I’m not...”  He paused and then added.  “…looking for a woman…maybe a guy…”

“Oh.”

Nick screwed his forehead up into a frown; he’d just admitted his boss as a member to that very exclusive club who knew he was gay and all he could say was a nonchalant, ‘oh’?  He decided to concentrate on driving and leave the conversation where it was.

Three or four minutes later Grissom spoke.  “That’s one of the reasons I’ve never had a lasting relationship.  I could never quite decide whether I wanted a man or a woman.  I’ve let men and women slip through my fingers through indecision.”

“Was it indecision though?  If you couldn’t decide on one person, man or woman, then maybe they weren’t the right man or woman for you.  I believe that when you meet someone you know…the decision is made for you.”

“That seems a very romantic notion.  You surely need to get to know someone first and then feelings develop over a period of time.”

“Don’t you believe in a bolt of lightning hitting you between the eyes and you knowing instantly that he’s, or she is, the one?”

“I do not.  And neither do you or I’m sure you’d have been married more than once or had a fair number of relationships.”

“You don’t know that I haven’t.  Not married, but had relationships.”

“I do and you haven’t.”

“How?”

“You’ve just told me.”

Nick huffed at being found out so easily.  He’d make a lousy criminal.

“So we’ve established from the evidence that I’m indecisive and you’re hopelessly romantic.”

Nick grinned.  “Maybe we should make New Year’s resolutions.  Me to be practical and you to be decisive and keep tabs on one another to make sure we follow through.”

“How can we do that?  We’d have to date one another...”

And just like that Nick felt he’d been hit between the eyes with a lightning bolt and Gil made an instant decision.

“Will you have breakfast with me after shift?”

“Yeah.  I’d like that.”

“That man murdered his wife and children and then killed himself because he couldn’t tell her the truth.  At my age I should be able to stand up and say something and have the courage of my convictions.”  He took a deep breath.  “I’ve always found you very attractive, Nick.”

“You know that saying about not being able to see the wood for the trees?”

“Yes.”

“That lightning bolt that’s been missing me for years, well it just scored a direct hit.”

“Stop the truck when you can, it’s nearly midnight.”

Nick pulled his Denali into the side of the road.  The lights of Vegas shimmered before them across the valley and suddenly, fireworks erupted all over the city.

“Happy New Year.”  Grissom didn’t look at Nick as he spoke and it was if he was wishing himself that happiness.

Nick smiled and leaned across the central console and slipped his hand and arm across the Grissom’s shoulders.  Grissom turned towards him and matched his smile.  They both leaned towards one another and kissed, just chastely and gently.

Nick pulled back and smiled directly at Grissom.  Someone close by started letting off fireworks and the cab of the truck was lit up by the bright flashes of coloured lights and they were at the epicentre of the accompanying bangs.

Gil had to raise his voice to be heard.  “Not lightning, Nick.  It was fireworks you were waiting for.”

The End