Title: River
By: geekwriter
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG
Summary: Nick takes a walk in the cold. Not technically a songfic, but done for the songfic challenge at TalkCSI.

Nick hunched his shoulders and flipped his collar up against the cold. The weathermen were all forecasting for snow, but the sky was clear, the sun glaringly bright. There was no warmth, though, not that time of year, not even in the desert. It was just harsh light that made everything look too real. He'd come to prefer the nights, when the shadows softened everything he saw.

He hadn't been able to sleep. He hadn't been able to sleep for weeks. It had only taken a few insomnia-ridden days in his condo before he felt like he was going stir crazy, so he'd started to walk. Every day he tried to sleep and every day he gave up, got dressed, put on his coat, and walked. He didn't really pay attention to where he was walking to, didn't have a set route, though he often found himself walking on the bridge across the river.

Nick smirked as he looked down at the dry river bed, the orange-brown dirt, the scrub brush that grew between its banks. It wasn't a river at all, no matter what the sign on the edge of the bridge said. It was just a place where a river sometimes was, an empty place just waiting for the rain.

If it was a real river, Nick could jump, land with a splash, float on his back and stare up at the bright daytime sky. He could close his eyes and let the current take him downstream, somewhere else. Arizona, maybe. Maybe even Mexico. Somewhere he belonged. Somewhere he could sleep at night without seeing Greg's face every time he closed his eyes.

He didn't see Greg's current face. He didn't see the face Greg showed him at work. No, every time he tried to sleep Nick saw Greg's face the way it had been that last night when Nick had finally pushed him far enough, hard enough, so hard that Greg'd had to let go.

Nick's hands were red and chapped from the cold. He curled them in on themselves and let his head fall forward. He was so tired.

He lifted his head and shook his shoulders. Squinted as he turned towards the sun and headed home, hoping to catch some sleep, knowing he was just an empty place waiting for the rain.

**********

"River" by Joni Mitchell

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I made my baby say goodbye

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on