Title: Sanctuary
By: Shacky20
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Nick/Greg Preslash
Summary: Can Nick help Greg find his safe place again? Angst, Post Ep for "Post Mortem".
Disclaimer: Please, if I owned them, this would have really happened, and all I have are two children, so no money here.Greg could still hear the rumble of the engine as the victim's brother hit the gas, revving the engine, trying to scare him. It worked. He had run back into the building as fast as his quickly failing legs could carry him. He didn't know where to go, no place felt safe. What if they knew where he lived? It wasn't like his life was a secret, he never thought much of getting his name and address removed from the phone book. Another rookie mistake he thoughy to himself as more tears trailed down his cheeks. His pulled his knees up to his chest in a protective manner, closed in on himself as much as he could.
He felt safe in here, at least in this bathroom. He was sure he was in for another beating when he saw the brother in the mirror. Eyes glazed over with anger and hate towards the man that had killed his brother, him. How could he even look at himself in the mirror? He had killed him, he took another human life. The one thing he thought he would never have to do. The soreness and bruises healing under his still sensitive skin tingled waiting for the scene in the alley to replay again in that bathroom in the courthouse. Thank God that other man had come in, he didn't know what would happen if he had not shown up.
At least he knew what he was talking about with the alcohol. How could they honestly believe that he would come to work drunk, or even with alcohol in his system? Greg would know better than that, but they also accused him of killing another man, in cold blood basically. They already thought he was a murderer, what would a little drinking on the job mean to them.
The tears fell faster out of his eyes, and he huddled closer into the corner of the bathroom, hoping it could swallow him whole, wanting to disappear. He hadn't imagined this when he set out to become a CSI, he imagined all the good things, the praise, the one to crack the case, bring in the bad guy, put them in jail, to figure it out, to prove to them all he was more than just a Lat Rat. Now he could add murderer to that.
"God, what have I done, I'm sorry, so so sorry. God pleas forgive, I never meant to take a life, I was just trying to help, please, I was just trying to help!" He shouted at a God whom he didn't think was listening to him anymore, or else he wouldn't be going through this hell. But maybe his someone up there had been listen because at the moment he heard an angel's voice.
"Greg, you in here? G?" Nick asked in hushed tones, thinking he saw Greg dash in here after he left for home but thought he was mistaken.
Greg quickly quieted his sobs, and wiped at his eyes. After all Nick had done for him today, he didn't want to show he true weakness, his fear at what lay ahead."Yeah Nick, I'm over here, just you know, making sure the clean up crew is doing there job right." He quipped back, trying to sound like himself. They both heard the lie, yet let it go.
"You know them, you never know what is growing in the cracks and crevices of this place." Nick answered back, trying to bring the younger CSI out of his self imposed shell.
"Oh God, thanks Nick, I'll never sit on the floor in here again." Greg stated as he scooted out of the corner into a spot in the middle of the wall.
"Do you mind if I turn the light on G?" Nick questioned, he didn't want to startle Greg, he knew what was probably going through his mind."Uh, if you don't mind, could you leave it off, I could use a little anonymity. I've had about all the lights and eyes on me today that I can stand." He confessed truthfully, he didn't want to see anything right now, no more recreations, no more victim's mother crying over her lost son, no more iridescent eyes staring back at him.
"That's fine, do you want some company?" Nick asked with genuine concern is his voice.
"Actually yeah, that would be nice. I could use an ally right now I think. I'm only down to a couple now."
Nick followed the tear filled sound of Greg's voice. He went to the wall where Greg was sitting on the floor, and let his back slide down the wall next to Greg, just sitting there for as long as Greg needed. Just a friendly voice, a comforting presence in his world of chaos.
"I never had the chance to thank you Nick. You were, I mean in court today, you were awesome. You never wavered , never let them shake you or trip you up. You stood so strong and confident in my innocence, that is was an accident. I can't thank you…."
"Then don't. I did my job G. I followed the evidence that Warrick and I gathered that day. We even went back and recreated the scene, trying to let the jury understand how quick it all happened. How little time you had to react, to save the life on an innocent." Although the words felt familiar to him, doing his job, helping the wronged, it was different. It was Greg, his friend, his best friend, and more if he ever dare open his heart to it.
"But Nick, I took a life." Greg's words were becoming harder and harder to understand as the sounds from him were mixed with barely contained sobs and tears staining his beautiful cheeks. "No, no matter what the jury found, or no matter what the judge said, I saw them look at me. They, they shoved those cameras in my face, knowing that I killed someone." Greg leaned onto Nick's shoulder as the tears started to flow freely. Nick knew how he felt, well not really, but he's been on the wrong end of a gun, not to mention other things. He knew what he would have done.He pulled him closer as he put his arm around the used to be Lat Rat, realizing just how young he still was for such a heavy burden. A burden he knew he would carry around him for the rest of his life, nothing Nick could say would change that.
"Listen to me Greg," He pulled Greg's face back and held it between his two warm hands so Greg had no choice but to look at him. Look into those soulful brown eyes, where he dreamed of being, but knowing he now more than ever didn't deserve the love of such a wonderful beautiful man.
"I know what it's like to be on the wrong side of a gun, with a mad person holding the trigger. No one can prepare for what it's like, not training, not field experience, and damn well nothing you're going to find in a textbook. You reacted best you knew how, and saved an innocent's life. You don't think if I had that gun instead of Nigel Crane, knowing what he'd done, that I wouldn't have thought twice about killing him? I knew what I was doing then. There was no one else involved, but the fear takes over, and you do what you can. You did more than anyone would have ever done. Don't you doubt that, don't you dare doubt that." He pulled Greg close to his chest again, once again feeling wetness seeping through his shirt, soft sobs being heard from the smaller man in his arms. Greg never looked as young as he did at that moment.
"He was waiting for me." Greg finally admitted. He was scared, and he didn't know how to tell anyone. "The victim's brother walked into the restroom as I was splashing water on my face. He asked me how big I felt now that I didn't have my big SUV to protect me." Nick cringed at the words, fearing this would happen. The family believed nothing but wonderful things about the boy, although he had participated in the murder of one and the assault of another earlier that night, and the beating of another before Greg arrived.
"Someone walked in and he left. I knew it wasn't over. After they read the verdict, I could feel them, they were staring at me, like I was a murderer Nicky." Greg quickly sat up from his reclined position against Nick's chest. "You have to know that Nicky, I'm no murderer, I wouldn't, I would never, God why did this have to happen?" He once again lost Greg to the gut wrenching sobs of something he would never understand, and hoped he never would. "Tell me you know Nicky, you know I'm not a killer, I swear Nick, I swear. I, I didn't know how to react, I didn't realize it would hurt him so much." He once again crawled into his safe spot tucked neatly against Nick's chest.
"Of course you didn't G, of course you didn't. You don't think I know that, you don't think we all know that. You are one of the nicest and most gentle people I know. I know deep down you would never hurt another person. But you saved someone also, don't forget that, you saved an innocent in all of this. Without you, he would be dead for no other reason then coming to Vegas."
'I know Nicky, I know. But he's there, when I try to sleep, all I see are those eyes glowing back at me, and I beg him not to pick it up, please don't pick up that rock. And all I see are those eyes running towards me. I never meant, Oh God Nicky I never meant for it….." He past another barrier, he put his arms around Nick's neck, and burrowed his face in his neck and cried. He could feel the reassuring hand running up and down his back, and the "sshhhh's" and "It's gonna be all right's" coming from Nick's beautiful voice, but he couldn't believe him. Had anyone ever told him he would finally get his wish, being held in the arms of Nick Stokes, his face buried into his neck, it would have been so much more than he would have ever hoped for. But not like this, not ever like this.
He pulled out the paper he received from the County Clerk out of his suit coat as he slowly pulled out of Nick's embrace.
"I was, I was in the garage, Gris told me to go ahead and go home. God all I wanted was to go home and rest, sleep, feel safe in my home. But someone handed me these." He handed over the civil lawsuit papers to Nick, who took them, eyes widening in surprise.
"They can't, I mean, it was proven as an accident Greg, why would they?" Nick couldn't believe this, why were these horrible things happening to Greg, his Greg. He swore to protect him that day at the crime scene, and all he could do was nothing.
"G, you can fight this, this is just about money. We'll help you, you stand strong and stand by the truth." Nick pleaded with Greg to listen, not to give up and quit.
Greg quietly shook his head, feeling defeat in every muscle and bone seep out of his body.
"You know, I could almost handle that. It wasn't like a huge surprise, I mean civil suits are not unheard of in these cases. Yeah, they can sue me, try to prove to another jury that I killed their son in cold blood, they may even get my job." Nick leaned in towards Greg, since they're were no lights on in the restroom, so Nick was looking at shadows of Greg's face. He could almost still make out the faded purple and yellow bruises across his face, and all Nick wanted to do was pull him close again and hold him and keep all the horrors of the world, of their job away from Greg. But that wasn't his place, but as a friend he could. He could also see the dark shadows under his eyes. Greg obviously wasn't sleeping, he doubted he could either if he were in the other man's shoes.
"I know, that I could handle Nick, but I'm scared." Nick could feel the slightest tremble of Greg's hands as they held onto his biceps, as if he let go he may fly away, or worse, be sucked down into that terrible place of darkness so many of their colleagues had found themselves after cases like these. Nick hadn't seen the trembles in Greg's hands after, after…. Well after his first horrible experience with this lab, but he wondered how Greg hid it, seeing how uncontrollable they were right now. Clutching onto Nick's shirt to stop the shaking he knew he wasn't hiding, he looked into Nick's eyes begging for understanding.
"Nicky, he was there. He was there in the garage." Greg could barely speak above a rough whisper, remembering the events that took place not even 30 minutes ago. The brightness of the headlights, the cold stare of the driver behind the wheel, and loud roaring of an engine coming toward him, at the last minute causing him to jump out of the way. He shivered at the memory again, God he couldn't ever remember being this frightened. Being blown through the glass walls of the Lab was one thing, one chemical mixing with another. An accident of science. He wasn't a targeted victim. Now he was, he felt like it was only a matter of time before they caught up to him. In his dreams he could hear the steps of the people that were chasing him, the loud footfalls of the mob, tracking him, finding him, not letting him get away this time.
Nick pulled back sharply. "What do you mean he was in the garage? Who was in the garage G?" Nick's voice had risen by at least two octaves and now he sounded as nervous as Greg felt.
"The brother, he was, he was there, waiting for me. When I, I got into the garage, he turned on his headlights, straight on me. Just then he revved up the engine. Thank God that clerk came by when he did. Nick, I thought, I really thought he was going to finish the job they started, one life for another." The more Greg talked the colder Nick got, he could feel gooseflesh break out all over his skin, and clutching the man in his arms tighter, in the darkened bathroom.
"He floored it and took off. At the last second I realized what was happening and jumped out of the way. But Nick, what if he doesn't miss next time, what if I'm all alone and no one is there. Nick, I'm so scared, they want to kill me. I never, I was just trying to do my job." He once again melted against Nick, Nick now realizing why the young man was curled up on the floor of the bathroom in the dark, he was afraid to leave, he now feared for his life.
"Greg, nothing is going to happen to you, do you hear me? I promise I won't let anything happen to you." Nick looked down at the tear filled brown eyes and his heart broke.
"How, but what if they know where I live, they know where I work, my car, where am I safe?" He stated trembling again, this time throughout his body, Nick could feel it as he held him.
"Well, that's why you are going home with me G. You are not leaving my side, do you hear me. I won't let anything happen to you, and no one, no one is going to hurt you." Nick repeated his mantra over and over, wanting Greg to believe him, nothing would happen to Greg.
"Nick, I can't, I can't ask you to do that, you've done so much, without your testimony today, you're faith in me, I would have surely been found guilty of a higher crime." Greg was overwhelmed that his friend would offer so much, but he couldn't let him, he'd done so much.
"Well, it's a good thing you aren't asking them, because I'm not taking no for an answer. You think after what you told me, that I'd let you out of my site. You're crazier than I thought Gregory Sanders. No talking, we leave here and go straight to my place. Someone else can stop by your place and pick up what you need, you're not going back there right now." Nick wasn't giving an inch, there was no way Greg was leaving his site.
"Nick, really I….Thank you, the thought of going home was just too much. I don't want to be alone Nicky, I don't want to be alone. I just want to sleep again. " Greg sounded like such a lost little boy.
Nick once again pulled Greg's face up so he could truly look at him. "Don't you know G, you're never alone, not when I'm here, you never will be." With that he placed a chaste kiss across the younger man's lips. It was so soft that Greg wasn't sure it happened at all, until he looked up and saw the apprehension and questions in Nick's dark brown eyes. Greg replaced all doubt with another soft kiss to the older man's lips. Not demanding or forceful, soft and warm and as gentle as he always knew Nick would be.
Nick backed away, looking at the face of the man he'd been waiting to do that for more years than he could count, afraid his timing couldn't have been more wrong. Seeing nothing but utter trust and faith behind the welcoming deep brown pools, he knew there couldn't have been a better time.
"Well now that's settled, how about we head to our place now so we can catch some sleep." Nick observed just how exhausted Greg looked.
"Actually, would you mind if we sat for a little bit longer?" Greg asked with some uncertainty. He didn't want to move from the sanctuary he and Nick created here.
"Of course G, we'll stay right here for as long as you want."
Nick held him closer and Greg wrapped himself as close as he could to Nick's warm body. For the first time since he drove down a dark alley on a Vegas nigh a month ago, Greg felt safe.
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed, thanks for reading.
- Main CSI page
- The new stories
- Gil/Greg stories
- Gil/Nick stories
- Gil/Warrick stories
- Nick/Greg stories
- Nick/Warrick stories
- Greg/Warrick stories
- Nick/Bobby stories
- Jim Brass stories
- David Hodges stories
- CSI: New York stories
- CSI: Miami stories
- Other pairings & threesomes
- Gen CSI stories
- C.S.I. Crime Scene Investigation: The Complete Ninth Season