Title: Seeing Red
By: Serenity
Spoilers for 'Overload'
Warning - very dark and angsty fic, dealing with disturbing subject matter. Please be aware of this before choosing to read.
Beta'd by Shacky20 (Love you, girl)

Greg entered the small apartment, sweeping the orange beam of his flashlight around the murky gloom of the bedroom. The only other light source was coming from the en-suite bathroom, where David and Grissom were kneeling over the bathtub looking at the body of their latest victim. He fought down the instinct to gag on the foul stench of death that seemed to creep beneath his clothes and permeate his skin. He switched off the flashlight and walked into the white tiled room.

"Sorry I got held up, Grissom, I got behind an accident on the Strip. Hey David." He acknowledged the coroner with a nod, which was reciprocated. "What have we got?"

Grissom looked at him over the top of his glasses and answered in his usual brusque manner. "Female, Caucasian. ID'ed as Amanda Charles, 29 years old, single. Lived here alone. Her body was discovered by one of her colleagues who came to check on her when she didn't show up at her place of work this morning and couldn‘t be reached by phone. She was a 5th grade teacher at Wanningsly." He stared down at the naked body floating in the bathtub. "What are your first impressions of the scene, Greg?"

Greg took in the sight. "Well, she's naked and her skin is red and peeling, which would indicate scalding. It looks like the water was much too hot when she got in." He leaned in to look closer. "There's also some small bruises on her arms, perhaps indicating a struggle, and what appears to be restraint marks around her wrists and ankles. I don't think it was her choice to get into this bath."

Grissom nodded. "Nice observations Greg. We'll know more after the autopsy, but I'd say we're dealing with a homicide here. David, what would you estimate time of death, including the variables for the heat of the water?"

David pierced the crimson flesh with the gauge. "Taking into account the body being immersed in boiling water, liver temperature indicates she died somewhere between 5 and 8 hours ago. We'll know more when we post her."

Grissom stood up from the tub, his knees cracking slightly as he rose. "Greg, I want you and Nick to process the house, see if you can find any reason why someone would want Miss Charles dead. Nick's working the perimeter at the minute, you can make a start on the bedroom and he can join you when he's finished." He took off his glasses and rubbed a thumb and forefinger over his eyes. "Brass is interviewing the witness now, trying to find out if there are any enemies our victim may have had." He turned back to David. "Let's see about removing the body, get her back to the lab."

Greg made his way back to the bedroom. It was a small room, with pale pink wallpaper and matching sheets, and there was a stuffed teddy bear on the queen sized bed. Half melted candles stood on the bedside table. "Typical single woman's bedroom." he thought to himself as he snapped off a few shots with his camera. He paused to pick up a photograph of the victim in an ornate silver frame.

"Hey, G." Nick entered the room carrying a silver field kit, ready to start processing for evidence. "Oh, hey Nick. Looks like it‘s you and me in here. Did you find anything outside?"

"We've got some partials and it appears that the front door was forced open. Looks like this was an attack rather than a suicide. Did you see the body?" Greg nodded, grimacing. "Nasty way to go, man. I wonder what she did to make someone want to do that to her?" he asked, showing Nick the photograph he‘d found.

"I don't know, man. It‘s pretty harsh. Lets see if we can find anything in this room." They dusted for prints, finding a few good ones which likely belonged to the victim. "OK, lets check out the rest of the room." Nick said after he finished dusting. "You do the closet, I'll do the drawers." Nick began to pull out each drawer in turn, photographing the contents before checking through them for anything that might help the case. He pulled out some expensive lacy lingerie and held it up so Greg could see. "We've got some pretty sexy underwear here, Boss. We're talking serious seduction. This woman was single, right?"

Greg nodded and bent down to search the back of the closet. "Yeah, but maybe she was having an affair. Maybe the wife found out and went crazy, put her in the water in an attempt to disfigure her. She was very attractive, judging by her photo."

"Maybe." Nick considered. "Could explain a few things." he continued to look inside the drawer. "We've also got condoms and a vibrator." He snapped a few photos and bagged the contents of the drawer. "Might be relevant."

Greg emerged from the back of the closet with an old battered shoe box in his gloved hands. Nick walked around the bed and came over to stand beside him. "What have you got there?"

"Don't know yet." he set the box carefully on the bed and removed the lid. "Looks like cassettes from a video camera. We'll get them back to the lab, analyse them in case they're pertinent." He put the lid back on the box and they finished processing the room, finding nothing more that could be deemed significant.

When they returned to CSI HQ, they made their way to the Audio/Visual lab, where they found Archie listening to music on his Ipod. Greg good naturedly pulled one of the earphones out of his ear, making the young lab tech jump.

"Shit, Greg!" he yelped as he swung his chair round. "You scared the crap outta me! Damn! Hey Nick, tell me, how do you put up with him all day?"

Nick grinned. "He's not so bad once you know how to handle him."

Greg took a seat beside Archie and handed him the box of cassettes. "We found this at the scene of a possible homicide, we need to analyse these tapes to see if there's anything on them that might help us find a suspect."

Archie took the first tape and inserted it into the machine. "OK, lets run this one, see what we find."

They sat back in their chairs, Nick standing behind them with his hands on the back of Greg's chair. The tape contained nothing more than somebody's wedding. "OK, that one's a bust, lets try tape two." Archie said as he slid the cassette in. The screen stayed black for a few moments, then faded in to a shot of the victim's bedroom. The sheets were pulled back on the bed and lit candles were dotted around the room. Amanda Charles appeared on the screen dressed only in a lacy black bra and matching panties.

"Looks like a sex video." Nick said, leaning forward. Greg twisted his neck and looked up at him. "Outstanding observation Stokes, that's why you're a level 3 CSI." He said, rolling his eyes and turning back to the screen.

Nick cuffed him on the back of the head as they watched Amanda stretch out in full view of the camera and beckon someone towards the bed.

"Oh my God." Greg gasped as her lover finally appeared on screen. "He's just…. He's just a child." They watched with a mix of horror and disgust as the young boy, his dark brown eyes shimmering with unshed tears, climbed onto the bed, pulling the sheets over his naked body in a small act of privacy. He glanced nervously at the camera as his abuser began to kiss him passionately.

"I can't…. I gotta go." Nick mumbled and raced out of the room. Greg stood up to go after him, but Archie grabbed him by the wrist and held him back. "Let him go, man, everybody deals with this sort of thing in different ways. The best thing you can do now is to try and find out who this kid is."

Greg reached over and switched the video off. "Jesus, Archie. The kid can't be more than ten years old." He shook his head in disbelief. "Well, we do know that the vic' is a 5th Grade teacher. My bet is that he's one of her students." He punched the backrest of the black leatherette chair in frustration, sending it crashing into the side of the table. He sighed and rubbed his eyes as if he could erase the scene he'd just witnessed. "Can you look through the rest of the tapes? I'd better go and fill Grissom in on this development. I‘ll see you later man." He squeezed Archie on the shoulder and left the AV lab to find his supervisor.

Greg was in the evidence room when Nick finally reappeared after an absence lasting twenty minutes. He noticed that Nick had changed his shirt and even the mint gum he was chewing couldn't hide the sharp scent of vomit on his breath.

"You feeling OK there, Nicky?" He asked him, concerned. His friend was paler than most of the corpses that were in the morgue and his eyes were bloodshot and swollen.

Nick, "Yeah, I'm cool G'. No worries. No worries." He came over and stood beside the young CSI and started looking at the case file over Greg's shoulder. "Just needed to grab some fresh air."

Greg nodded, not wanting to push the subject. "Bad news on the fingerprints, they were the vic's, and the partial prints had no hits on IAFIS. Doc Robbins should be doing the autopsy now, you ready to head down and get C.O.D?"

Nick puffed a mouthful of air through his cheeks and ran his fingers through his hair. "Sure, let's go."

The morgue was cold and dim, and Greg shivered as they entered. He didn't think he'd ever get used to this place, no matter how many hours he spent there. "What have you got for us, Doc?" he asked the pathologist.

Robbins indicated to the red colour of the victim‘s skin. "Well, your victim suffered severe scalding to her entire body before death. This bruising also occurred pre-mortem, the pattern indicating that her ankles and wrists were tightly bound. There‘s also blunt force trauma to the back of the head, my guess would be that she was incapacitated by the blow so that she could be restrained."

He pointed to her throat, filled with a white foamy substance. "Actual cause of death was drowning, the trachea and lungs were also badly scalded, the epiglottis remained open and the lungs filled with water. She must have been in tremendous pain before she died."

"Not enough." Nick mumbled under his breath, loud enough for only Greg to catch. "So," Greg said loudly to cover the moment. "We're definitely talking homicide."

"No doubt in my mind that this was an act of pure odium. Whoever did this hated this woman." Greg turned to look at Nick, who was glaring down at the body, his eyes burning with disgust and contempt. "Let's get out of here." he growled through gritted teeth.

They walked back to the evidence room in silence, Nick's shoulders hunched, his body stiff with tension. "You sure you're OK, Nicky?" he asked finally. "You don't look so good. Why don't you take a break, get a coffee or something."

Nick turned around quickly, opening his mouth as if to snap a response, but when he saw the genuine look of concern on his friend's face, he simply nodded and made his way to the break room. Greg continued walking to the lab, running the days events over in his head, trying to figure out why this case had affected Nick so much. It scared him to see his friend so disturbed.

Nick returned an hour later, carrying a cup of coffee for Greg in his right hand and a donut in his left. "I thought you could use a little sugar rush and a caffeine bomb." he said, setting the food down on the table. Greg devoured the donut in three bites and took a tentative sip of the coffee. "Hey, you got the good stuff." he smiled and took a bigger gulp, sighing with pleasure as the caffeine began to awaken his cells.

"Listen, while you were away I did a little research into Miss Charles' students. I think I've found our boy." Greg shook the powdered sugar from his fingers and laid out a photograph of a young boy, dark brown hair and eyes and an innocent face. "He's ten years old, his name is Jessie Tobian, he lives at 315 Altwin Street. I'm just waiting for Brass to arrive and then we're going to go check him out. You OK to come with us?" He reached out and gently touched the back of Nick's hand.

Nick quickly shrugged it off. "I'm fine!" he snapped. "How many times do I have to fucking tell you!"

Greg was stunned into silence and Nick's sudden outburst. The Texan almost never swore and he knew that meant there was definitely something wrong. Greg was getting seriously worried.

After a few moments he found his voice again. "OK, OK, I‘m sorry I asked." He gathered up the photos and put them back into the file. "Lets go and see if Brass is here yet."

Nick‘s shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry G', I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just… I'm having one of those days, I guess. Lets find Brass and go and talk to the boy." He rubbed Greg's back softly in apology.

They found Brass in reception waiting for them. "Hey guys." he said in his usual gruff voice. "Turns out that our boy has been in the hospital for the last three days. We'll head over there and talk to him. His parents are there with him."

"Do we know why he's in hospital?" Greg asked. Brass shook his head. "Not yet, but I'm sure we'll find out when we get there. Lets go."

The drive to the hospital passed quickly, Greg and Brass discussing the case. Nick sat silent in the back seat. They pulled up outside and made their way to reception to enquire as to where Jessie Tobian's room was. A nurse directed them and Brass led the way.

Jessie was lying in bed, his body covered in stark white bandages, an intravenous drip in his left arm. His distraught parents were sitting beside the bed, watching their son sleep. Brass cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Excuse me, Mr and Mrs Tobian. I'm Captain Jim Brass from LVPD, this is CSI Stokes and CSI Sanders from Criminalistics. I was wondering if we could ask you a few questions about your son?"

Mrs Tobian turned to look at them and nodded, her tear stained face glistening in the dim light. "What sort of questions?"

Brass took the seat opposite to them, and Greg and Nick stood at the end of the bed. "Mrs Tobian, were you aware of your son's relationship with his teacher, Miss Charles?" Mrs Tobian collapsed into tears, her head buried into the sheets covering her sleeping son.

Mr Tobian turned to look at Brass. "We know what that sick bitch did to Jessie. It wasn't a relationship, she forced him. She raped him. He's just a baby." Mrs Tobian raised her head and let out a heart wrenching sob. "He's my baby! Look at him! My poor baby!"

Brass nodded, his voice soft. "What happened to Jessie, Mr Tobian? Why is he in hospital?" Mr Tobian put a comforting arm around his wife, and began to speak softly. "A few days ago, we came home to find Jessie in the bath, scrubbing at his skin until he was bleeding. The water was so hot that he was burning, but he didn't seem to feel it. He just kept scrubbing. I had to physically lift him out of the bath, but he was crying and screaming that he was still dirty."

"Did he tell you why he was dirty?" Greg asked. Mr Tobian twisted round to look at him. "Not at first, no. The hospital psychologist finally got him to open up. He told us that Miss Charles had made him…. Had made him do things to her that he didn't want to do. She was his teacher! There are just some people you are supposed to be able to trust, you know?"

Greg moved around the bed and stood closer to the devastated parents. "I know and I understand how difficult this must be for you. Mr Tobian, may I see your hands?"

"Why?" he said, holding his hands out in front of him. The skin was red and angry. "Mr Tobian, how did you get these burns on your hands?"

He looked down at his hands then quickly moved them into his lap. "It must have been when I lifted Jessie out of the bath. I must have scalded myself."

Greg shook his head. "These injuries are too fresh to have been made three days ago. Mr Tobian, where were you yesterday morning, between 8am and 11am?"

Brass stood up and walked over to back Greg up. "You'd better answer the question, Mr Tobian."

"I don‘t believe it, that bitch violated my son, and you‘re asking me where I was? Fuck you. She deserved to die." That was all Brass needed to hear. The Captain handcuffed him and read him his rights. "Mr Tobian, I am arresting you on the suspicion of the murder of Amanda Charles."

"No, no!" His wife screamed, grabbing at her husband's shirt. "You can't do this!" The commotion woke Jessie and he began to cry, pleading with his mom to stop them taking his dad away. Greg looked up and noticed that Nick also had tears in his eyes. He pulled him aside as Jim continued reading the Miranda rights. "Listen Nick, something's up with you, I don't know what it is, but I think you should go home. You're no good to anyone like this."

Nick shook his head. "No Greg. I have to see this through. I‘m OK."

They took Mr Tobian back to PD to be interviewed by Brass. Grissom sat in on the interview, while Nick and Greg watched from the two-way mirror. Mr Tobian sat tearing strips off his paper coffee cup. Finally, he looked up at the two men, sighing in defeat. "I want to make a full confession."

Brass leaned forward and switched on the tape recorder. "Interview with Mr Roger Tobian, commencing at 7:35 am."

"My son… she made him… I can't even bring myself to say the things she made him do. He's just a child, how could anyone be so sick and depraved? We didn't even know anything was wrong. What kind of parents does that make us?" He threw the torn coffee cup across the room. "He'd almost burned his own flesh off, trying to get clean, trying to get her off his skin. He wouldn't tell us why, until the shrink got him to open up. I had to make her know how if felt. I needed her to feel the pain my son was feeling." Tears welled in his eyes and his voice cracked.

"Tell us what happened, Mr Tobian." Grissom urged. "In your own time."

"I went to her apartment and forced my way in. The lock wasn't that strong. She was in bed, lying on her front sleeping. I grabbed something, I think it was a paperweight, and I hit her with it. I tossed it somewhere when I left, I can't remember where. I tied her up and I ran the hot faucet in her bathtub and I threw her in. She came round and she was screaming. I just sat on the floor and watched her trying to get out. After a while, she passed out again and slid under the water. I just sat there, watching her. Then I pulled her body out and untied her, then I tossed her back in again, like the piece of shit she was. I must have burnt my hands then, I don't remember feeling it though."

Mr Tobian sat back in his chair, his story finished. "You took the law into your own hands, Mr Tobian." Brass stated. "You will have to face the consequences."

Roger Tobian laughed maniacally, the hollow sound echoing around the room. "Don't expect me to feel guilty. I'd do it again if I had the chance. That sick bitch deserved it."

Greg looked over at Nick, who was gripping the frame of the mirror so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. "I have to go home, Greg." He turned to look at the young CSI. "I'm not feeling too good. I'll see you tonight." He turned and swept out of the room before Greg had a chance to respond.

Later that afternoon, Greg found himself standing on Nick's porch, a six pack of beer in his hand. He wasn't sure why he'd been compelled to go there, but he felt he had to see if his friend was alright. He knocked several times on the door, but got no answer. "Nick, are you home? It's only me." He called. When there was still no answer, he tried the door, expecting it to be locked. Instead, it swung open, making Greg even more unnerved. "Nick? Are you OK? The door's open. I'm coming in."

He set down the beer and walked slowly into the house, checking each room as he went, making sure it was clear. He moved quietly towards the bedroom and gently opened the door in case Nick was sleeping. The bed was empty, but the comforter was piled up in the corner of the room. Greg was just about to turn away again when he noticed that the pile of material was moving.

"Nick?" he said softly. "What are you doing? Are you OK?" He kneeled down next to the quivering mass of fabric and carefully pulled the corner down. Nick was huddled in a tight ball, his knees drawn up to his chest, his face was pale and stained with tear tracks. He was dressed in a thick jumper, even though it was 90 degrees outside, and he was trembling.

"I can't get warm, Greg. I can't seem to stop shivering." He looked up, his dark brown eyes burning with pain and distress. "Help me, I don‘t know why I can‘t get warm." It seemed difficult for him to get the words out, his teeth were chattering so hard.

Greg's heart almost burst with sympathy. He helped Nick up off the floor, comforter and all, and set him gently on to the bed, sitting down beside him. "Your body is in shock. You need to try and calm down. Tell me what's happened."

"Greg, please don't ask me that."

"Was it this case? Why did it affect you so much?"

"I… I can't" he stuttered. "I don't want you to look at me like everyone was looking at Jessie."

"Nick, please talk to me. I can't bear to see you like this. Tell me what happened. Were you…. Were you abused as a child?"

Nick let out a choking sob and wrapped the comforter tightly around his body. "Please don't tell anyone. I don't want them to know."

"I won't, I promise." he soothed. He tentatively reached up and stroked Nick's soft dark hair. "You can tell me anything, you know that. You can trust me."

Nick nodded. "I know I can. Catherine knows it happened but I never told her the details. If I tell you, do you swear it stays between us?"

Greg nodded. "Listen, how about I make you a nice cup of camomile tea, and once you've drank that, we can talk, OK?"

"OK. And… thank you Greg I… just thanks."

Greg came back with the tea, Nick took the cup with shaky hands. He let the dark blue comforter drop onto the bed, Greg noticed that his light blue jeans were stained with vomit. "I should change." Nick blushed, embarrassed.

"OK, I'll wait in the living room for you, you can come out when you're ready." He got up and left Nick to change. He appeared in the living room, dressed in soft grey sweatpants and a green t-shirt. He crossed the room and sat down on the couch beside his concerned friend.

"So, I guess I should start from the beginning, huh?" he laughed humourlessly. Greg reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. "Start wherever you want to start."

Nick took a deep, shaky breath and began speaking. "I was nine years old. My parents had to go to some fancy dinner and the babysitter got sick at the last minute. I don't know where they got her replacement from. She was young, I'd guess about 17. She had the longest blonde hair I had ever seen. She was nice to me the whole night, she told me that if I was good, I could have ice cream in bed. I remember waiting for her to come up, I was so excited. She came in and she didn't have any ice cream with her. I asked her where it was and she told me she had something much better."

Fresh tears began to form in his red rimmed eyes, and Greg gave his hand another reassuring squeeze. "It's OK, I'm here, you're OK."

"She got into my bed and she opened her blouse. She made me touch her. Then she pulled off my pyjamas and I said no, that I didn't want to play any more. She wouldn't stop, she just…. She kept touching me and I was crying. But my body responded. Does that mean I must have wanted it? That's what she said, she said I must be liking it. She kept saying it over and over, kept saying that I wanted it. Then, when it was over, she just got up and left. I just sat in my bed with my sheets tight around me, waiting for my parents to get home."

Greg wiped a tear away from his own cheek. "Did you tell your parents?"

Nick shook his head. "Other than Cath, no one knows. I just felt so dirty. To be honest, I still do. Is this why so many things happen to me, am I being punished? Do bad things happen to me because I'm bad? Am I still dirty, Greg? Can you see the filth on me?"

Greg moved closer and put an arm around his trembling friend. "You haven't done anything wrong, Nicky. You were a child. She took advantage of you, you're not to blame. You're not dirty. Oh, God, that's the last thing you are. You're the purest person I know."

"I just feel so ashamed. I've kept it closed in for all these years, every time it threatened to come out, I would swallow it down again. But today… today it just got too much to handle. I know exactly how that little boy was feeling. When I watched that video, I didn't see Jessie, I saw myself. I relived it all."

Greg pulled Nick into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry Nick." Nick let himself be held, his body becoming warm and limp in the other man‘s arms. "I'm sorry that you got dragged into all this. It's not fair on me to lay this all on you."

Greg pushed him back to look him in the eye. "You're my best friend, Nick. Don't ever think there's anything we can't talk about. I'm always here for you, you should know that."

Nick reached up and wiped a lone tear from the corner of Greg's eye with the pad of his thumb. "I always thought you knew that there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't good enough. That I was damaged. That's why you never….." he stopped himself.

"Why I never what, Nick?"

"It's why you never wanted me." he admitted, his voice breaking. When Greg didn't respond, he pulled away, breaking the contact between them. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Forget it."

Greg shook his head. "I'm the one who's sorry. It's just so much to take in. I'm not sure I understand. Did you… want me to want you? Is that what you're saying?"

Nick nodded shyly. "But it's too late now." he shrugged. "I'm just thankful I have you as a friend. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up here today. It was…. It was really bad."

"Do you want to go out sometime?" Greg blurted out. He clicked his tongue against his teeth and sighed. "I'm sorry, that's not how I wanted that to come out. This really isn't the time. But the offer is there, and I mean it."

"You're just trying to cheer me up now, aren't you? You don't have to, I know you're not interested in me in that way. I don‘t need your pity."

Greg smiled at his best friend. "Nick, look at me. I always thought you were way outta my league, that's the only reason I never asked you out before. I've wanted to since the moment we first met."

"Really?"

"Nicholas Stokes, have you seen you?"

Nick smiled for the first time since they'd watched the video. "Thanks Greg. I'm not ready for anything just yet, but soon, yeah? We'll go out, give it a try and see what happens." He leaned forwards and gently pressed their lips together in a promise of what was to come. "Thank you for listening to me, for being there."

Greg returned the smile. "Thank you for trusting me. And don't worry. I can wait until you're ready. You're definitely worth waiting for. Come on, you're exhausted. Lets put you to bed and we'll talk more later. I'm calling Grissom, telling him you're ill so you don't have to come in tonight, OK?"

Nick let himself be lifted from the couch and led to the bedroom. "Greg, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Greg lay him down on the bed and pulled the comforter over him, kissing him softly on the forehead. Nick twisted himself into the fetal position and Greg stayed to watch until his breathing became regular, indicating he was finally asleep. "If I have anything to do with it" he whispered "You'll never have to find out."

He pulled down the blackout blind and gathered up the stained clothing that Nick had been wearing and put them in the laundry basket. After tidying up, he put the beer he had brought in the fridge and left the house, making sure the door was locked behind him.

He drove home in silence, waiting until he was safely in his own apartment before he went to the privacy of his bathroom and blinded by stinging tears, vomited into the white porcelain sink.