Title: Shuffle
By: postnotice
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: You all know that iPod shuffle challenge. I jumped on the bandwagon. Twelve songs, twelve minifics.

1/Boys of Summer, (covered by) The Ataris

"You're not a fling."

"Sure I'm not." Their conversation pauses while a blonde tech from days walks by. Nick watches her, nodding when she smiles at him. Greg catches Nick's response, and scowls. "Yeah, that really helped your case."

Nick groans and pulls Greg into the now empty locker room. "Would you stop worrying? God, it's like dating…" Nick stops himself before he can finish the sentence. He really doesn't want to piss Greg off any more than he already is.

"Like dating what?" Greg asks, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. "Don't say it if you know I won't like it."

Nick sits on the bench. "Greg. You're not a fling. I love you. I don't know how you want me to prove that.'

-

2/Can't Let it Go, Goo Goo Dolls

"Stop looking at me like that."

Nick's smirking, walking towards Greg as Greg walks around the apartment, trying to get away from him. "You love me."

"Yeah, well, you loved me first!" Greg kind of trips over his laptop case and stumbles. He forces himself to get his balance so Nick doesn't have to dive forward and catch him. He doesn't need that kind of contact right now.

"You love me."

Greg swallows, trying to ignore the growing smile on his lover's face. "Hey, who do you think's gonna—" He trips over Nick's cat Dallas and falls backward onto the couch. Dallas yowls and darts off into the other room. Nick traps him on the couch and crawls on top of him, still smiling.

"You love me."

Nick doesn't look upset. Greg smiles.

"Yeah. I do."

-

3/When I'm Sixty-Four, The Beatles

"You won't not love me anymore when I'm old, right?"

"…What?" Nick looks like Greg's just informed him of his extra heads. "Of course I'll love you."

"Even when my skin's all saggy and I have really thick glasses and play crosswords and Sudoku and my hair's gone gray and I can't hear or remember anything and—"

Nick looks up from the book he's reading and pats the couch next to him. Greg reluctantly sits down. "Stop worrying. I'll always love you. Saggy skin or not. You can never understand what I'm saying, go deaf and blind and have to learn to speak to me through Braille, and I'll love you. You're mine forever.

Greg blushes and smiles, ducks his head against Nick's shoulder. "Good."

-

4/I Won't Back Down, Tom Petty

"You're not getting out of this so easily."

"What's your deal lately? It's like you're ten times more OCD."

"I wouldn't be if I didn't have to worry about you so much."

"I'm fine! How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Greg, you've hardly said anything to me since you got out of the hospital. You're scaring me."

"Oh, I'm scaring you? Damn it, Nick, this isn't about you. It's about me and how a month ago, I killed someone's son."

-

5/Passive, A Perfect Circle

"Hallucinations… Obsessive thoughts…"

Greg tires to focus on the spider in the wall. He's crazy by clinical standards, sure, but he knows he's not. He knows what he's seen, what he still sees.

"Mr. Sanders is seeing things that aren't there. He can't let it go. He won't let it go."

Six months. His internal calendar is better than any allegedly sane person; they say that's a symptom.

"Nightmares; he wakes up screaming."

He's been awakened by his own screaming for years; it's nothing to be concerned about. The doctors don't think so. It's gotten worse since the last since months. The doctors don't think he'll ever return to normal.

"He doesn't interact with others. Never speaks to the staff."

He hasn't spoken to any person in the last six months. He's not even sure his voice even works anymore.

Six months. Six months since he lost his life. Since months since his happiness was ripped away from him.

Six months since Nick died.

-

6/One Week, Barenaked Ladies

"Would you stop doing that?" Greg glances back in angered confusion. "Your face'll stick like that." Greg scoffs. "Seriously. You're making this out like I told your grandmother to go—" Nick stops himself, lest he piss Greg off even more. "I did it for a reason, okay?"

"Oh, come on. I can't forgive you for this. You don't just steal Greg Sanders' coffee and get away with it."

Nick stands, walks to where Greg's standing in front of the living room window. "One week ago, G. Let it go, or…" he trails his hands down Greg's chest to the top of his jeans, letting his fingers caress Greg's skin. "You really don't wanna wait any longer for this, right?"

Greg moans.

-

7/3AM, Matchbox Twenty

"What are you doing?"

"Uh. Thought I'd check on you."

"Check on me…" Greg frowns. "I'm fine. I'm not the one who had a gun drawn on him while at work last night."

Nick winces. "Yeah. Can I come in?"

"It must be like, two AM our time."

"Three."

Greg studies him a moment, then opens the door further to let Nick in. "Sure. You want something to drink? Water? Beer? Anything?"

"You have coffee made?"

Greg grins. "I always have coffee made. Come on, take a seat in the living room, I'll get us some."

Half an hour later, the coffee is forgotten on the coffee table. Nick and Greg are curled together on the couch, silent. Greg's almost asleep, but he decides to ask anyway. "You're all right?"

"Am now."

-

8/Brown Eyed Girl, (covered by) Everclear

"She's beautiful."

"She has your eyes."

"She can't have my eyes, she doesn't have my genes."

"She still has your eyes."

"She's beautiful."

"She's our daughter."

---

"Daddy!"

"Oh my God. Oh my God, Nick! Nick, she said—She said her first word!"

"I heard, G, I'm standing right beside you."

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"

"Boys are stupid."

"One day you might like 'em, y'know."

"I'll never like boys! They're icky!"

"You know, angel… Daddy and me… we're boys."

"You guys are different though."

"…If you say so, angel."

--

"Dad! Alex asked me to the dance!"

"The dance, huh? Who's this Alex guy, do I have to give him the speech!"

"Daddy!"

"Nick, be nice."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Find out who his parents are first."

--

"Prom. Wow. She's already seventeen. Soon she'll be getting accepted into colleges and moving out and getting married and having kids…"

"Don't focus on that, focus on now. Don't get caught up in the future. You never know what might happen."

--

"Ahh! Daddy! I got accepted into Harvard!"

"Awesome! See, what'd I tell you? No college in their right mind would deny you."

--

"She's leaving, G."

"She'll be fine. She's a smart girl."

"She's smart, she's beautiful… Guys'll be all over her. She'll belong to someone else."

"She'll never belong to anyone, Nick. And she's still our daughter."

--

"Daddy, Dad… Alex and I are getting married."

"Congratulations! This is… amazing!"

"And to think that when the two of you were in ninth grade I was going to give you The Talk about dating my daughter."

"And I'm pregnant."

"…You know, Alex, I might have to squeeze that in."

--

"I think it's time to let go, Nicky."

"I can't. She's still my baby. My girl. My daughter. And now, now she's married and it's some other guy's job to take care of her."

"She's smart. She's beautiful. She can take care of herself."

"She's going to be an amazing mother."

"And…"

"And she'll always be our daughter."

"Always."

9/Title and Registration, Death Cab for Cutie

Greg feels a little like he's snooping, but it's his car, too, right? Sure. Maybe. Anyway. It's cold sometimes. Like, really cold. Especially out in the desert when Nick's car, because Greg's crapped out in the driveway at home, won't start. And he just happens to think that okay, maybe Nick puts gloves in the glove compartment. Like any normal person would. It's completely logical. Honest.

But Greg doesn't find anything regarding gloves or a hat or hell, even those fake heating things that react to the air or whatever. Nothing. Nada.

What he does find, though, is a bunch of old photographs from their early dating years. He takes them out, and catches sight of a tiny little black box underneath them all.

Maybe he shouldn't... but seriously, Greg's curiousity? Not a force to be reckoned with.

He looks. Opens the black box with shaking fingers, and hardly can contain his excitement.

A ring.

-

10/I'll Be that Girl, Barenaked Ladies

First: Greg knows how Nick feels about him. Absolutely certain. Because, seriously. A guy can't stare that much and expect no one to catch on. So yeah, he knows. He really knows.

Second: Greg also knows how Nick feels about that whole 'gay' business - even if he tries to admit that there's nothing weird or awkward about it. Sure, his parents are weird about it, and he might be out, but oh, Greg can see how weird it is for Nick to act like they're, y'know. A straight couple.

Third: Greg has definitely considered dressing up as a girl to make it easier for Nick. He's looked into it - extensively. Outside, behind closed doors, where people watch without shame, he could be a girl. Or, pretend. Wear a wig. Earrings. Whatever. So long as he could get Nick to look at him when they're grocery shopping together. Besides, skirts? Greg almost wishes he could wear them all the time.

Okay, so maybe he's actually done a little more than just research crossdressing.

Thing is, though, that no matter how pissed Greg gets at Nick for being weirded out about the gay thing, no matter how many girls Nick pulls out on his arm - even Greg's therapist at some point, which really pissed him off - Greg's still going to love him.

-

11/Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon

Nick looks at Greg and sees a lot of things. Innocence. Hopefulness. Excitement. Adoration. Whatever. He appreciates that he's the one Greg finds safety in, the one that Greg feels at home with. He's thoughtful, courteous, whatever, all the good things you can say about a significant other all rolled into one, and, well, dammit. He's perfect.

And yeah, of course life gets to Greg like everybody else. Of course Greg gets bad days, bad cases. Of course. That's going to happen, it happens to everyone. Nick likes that he can help.

It works both ways; Greg does the same for him. Watches out when he knows Nick's tired at a scene, listens and doesn't demand answers when he knows Nick's had a bad day.

Thing is? Nick's not sure anymore if Greg's right. He doesn't want to say it; three years in, and Greg looks happy when Nick so much as makes eye contact with him. Which is a lot more than Nick can say for other couples who have only been together for a month.

Greg's just... not it.

And Nick hates that.

-

12/Far Behind, Candlebox

"He left."

Catherine has a look on her face that is pure pity. "I'm sorry, Greg."

He accepts the apology but doesn't know why she is. It's not her fault that Nick didn't mention it to her, didn't feel the need to say he was leaving Vegas. Greg had noticed over the past few months that Nick wasn't happy here anymore; Nick denied it when Greg asked, said that as long as he was with Greg he was happy, but somehow, without Nick in Vegas to prove that wrong again, Greg can't find it in him to discredit that.

Maybe he should; maybe he should stick up for Nick like Nick stuck up for him so many times, but he can't even find that in him.

"He didn't tell you?" Greg slowly shakes his head. Catherine sighs. "I'm sorry," she repeats.

"It's not your fault," he says, and his voice is surprisingly calm. Monotone, but calm. "Did he say where he was going?" he asks, but what he's really curious about is did he say if he'll be back?

Catherine looks back up from where she's staring at her desk. "I don't know," she says, like she knows what he said isn't what he meant

Greg hates how she says that, but figures the regret immediately evident in her expression more than makes up for it. "Let me know if you hear from him, yeah?"

She nods. With that, Greg figures he's dismissed. Sara tries to get his attention, but he beelines right for the breakroom. He doesn't want coffee, it reminds him of Nick. He just wants the solitude.