Title: Three Men in a Stall
Author: Dee
Rating: R
Word Count: 787
Pairings: Gil and Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom, Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown
Warnings: Fluff
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat and podga for their invaluable help in the Americanisation of the fic and their insightful comments. I thank high_striker for his wonderful icons. I am indebted to them all. Any errors are mine.
A/N: Be warned that this mentions bodily functions...and it's still fluff!

Gil Grissom was absolutely engrossed in a case. He was leading a murder investigation and using his forensic entomology skills to determine the time of death of a badly decomposed body.

He'd been ensconced in the evidence lay out room....for...he didn't know how long but probably about six hours. Greg had brought him a coffee 'special', Catherine had brought him a soda, Nick had brought him bottled water - and he'd drunk them all.

He had to go, he was dying to go, his bladder hurt he wanted to go so much, but he just had to finish this particular round of tests and note the results and then he'd go.

So, ten minutes later saw him making his way, hurriedly, to the men's bathroom, through the communal locker room. He would not be stopped, Hodges had tried to intercept but had been halted with a hand, palm outwards in Hodges' face and a terse, 'Not now.'

As he arrived at the bathroom door he started to prepare, unzipping his pants as he shouldered the door open and eyed the middle stall with relief as he strode towards it. He was being pretty unidirectional on his approach but could see out of his peripheral vision that Nick was standing at the left stall and that Warrick was standing at the right stall - there were three.

As he arrived at the stall he reached inside his boxers - now called 'CKs' as per Nick's instructions - and extracted his penis and directed it towards the urinal and then...... Nothing, of course, this was a given, he had been so desperate and had been holding on for so long now he would have to force himself to relax to be able to urinate.

But, Warrick spoke, "Errrr, excuse me both, but this is...errrr....sorta weird, you know?"

Nick looked over at Warrick; Gil looked at Warrick with a frown in place and a look that said, because he would never actually say it aloud, 'Duh?'

Warrick, now plainly embarrassed, "Well you know you're together an' all and like you're standing together....and you're.....you know......getting your..." he sort of petered out.

Nick was already laughing out loud at Warrick's outburst obviously taking it in good humour.

Gil thought that was probably the way to go, "So, Warrick, this is perplexing is it not? Do you actually look at other men's penises, when you're standing in a bathroom, because if you do it would be sensible to avoid looking at mine - I wouldn't want to you to develop an inferiority complex, after all some of us were just nearer the front of the line!"

Warrick groaned. "Noooo......it's not...."

Gil interrupted, "Or do you think that Nick and I are about to perform some sort of perverted act involving, what do they call it, oh yes, 'golden rain'?"

"NO!! NO!!"

By this time Warrick had finished and was trying to reassemble his clothing, but despite many, many years of practise he was fumbling and had to look at what he was doing to complete the act.

Nick was also zipping up and adjusting himself, "Man, Warrick what on earth has got into you? We're just taking a piss, like men do, like all the time and it's not like we look at one another - isn't that some sort of ingrained 'no no' from when we were kids?" He walked over to the sink and was then joined by Warrick.

"Look, I'm sorry I really am, to both of you." he glanced in the mirror at Gil still standing at the stall, "I just had a red neck moment, you know, two gay guys, standing together, tackle in hand - look I'm really sorry! You know I don't have any problem with you both it was just.......well I don't know...I'm sorry."

"Okay man, no worry, just a straight boy thing!" Nick was still laughing, he knew Warrick was not homophobic and this was just a knee jerk moment that wouldn't harm any one of them

"Thanks, you know...I'll go before I dig the hole any bigger......" and off he went.

Gil had just begun to urinate and let out a contented sigh as his strained bladder started to empty, "What was that all about?" He asked Nick who'd come to stand beside him.

"Just Warrick having a freak out at being third in line...but I'm not bothered about that. What's with this unable to pee Gil? I think a visit to the doctor or proctologist is in order for you." Before Gil could respond, 'cause Nick knew he would protest, Nick pinched his cheek (Gil hated that), raised his eyebrows and left the bathroom.

'Oh gggoooddd.'

The End