Title: Still
Author: kieksterbanjo
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: There's no end to fatherhood...
Disclaimer: Would I like to own them? YES. But do I? Alas No.
A/N: Told you, you were going to get sick of me! lol. So this? Is a sequel to my story Fathers First. I debated posting it now as opposed to later, but I figured I wouldn't be any less nervous later then I am now to bring it out and today's my birthday so it seemed like a good time.
Do you have to have read Fathers First to read this one? Yes and no. The circumstances in this story are completely separate from the first but since I know these characters so well I MAY not have explained their back-story to their full extent so to get the back-story you may want to read Fathers First. I tried as much as I could to make this a stand-alone. Maybe I did. You be the judge, I guess.
Okay and to cap off the longest A/N EVER (lol) Still differs from Fathers First in one main respect...I've almost finished writing it before I even posted it!

***

            Nick groaned and let his head fall back onto the back of the couch, rubbing the bridge of his nose and letting the book in his lap fall closed. He pulled his glasses from his head and set them on top of his book on the coffee table before getting up.

 

            He'd tried to ignore the pounding music coming from the second floor of the house but just when he thought it might have ended, another throbbing beat rang out throughout the house. He made his way up to the second floor and made a left, moving to the door he was almost certain the music was coming from.

 

            "Charlie!" He said loudly, banging once on the closed wood door before opening it. Upon entering the room, he soon discovered he'd been wrong.

 

            "It's not me!" Charlie said annoyed as he sat at his desk with his feet up and a textbook in his lap. Charlie, for several months, had been caught up in a growth spurt his body couldn't quite handle. He was growing faster then he was putting on weight and therefore his long arms and legs looked gangly without the appropriate balance. According to Greg, however, he himself had been the exact same way when he was 14.

 

            "Oh." Nick said surprised, furrowing his brow, "Did you cut your hair?" He asked randomly noticing the long brown locks that had been there for quite some time were no longer...long.

 

Charlie nodded and ran his hand through the short spikes, "Yeah yesterday." He answered.

 

"Looks good." Nick said with a nod and a smile before closing the door and moving across the hall. He paused outside the door across the hall and listened, making sure he wasn't just about to make another wrong guess.

 

            Sure of himself this time he banged a fist against the door before proceeding to open it, "Aidan!" He said loudly in order to make his voice heard over the music. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him and he quickly turned around, bringing the door closed behind him. He leaned against the door, shocked and unaware about how to proceed. The music had been turned off and Nick could hear shuffling from inside the room; a curse word or two thrown into the mix, "Aidan, uh," Nick called behind him to the closed door, coughing to clear his strained voice, "Can I, uh, talk to you for a second?"

 

            "Yeah I'll be out in a second." Was called from inside the room and a moment later Aidan opened the door to his bedroom a crack in order to slide out, while simultaneously pulling on a t-shirt; confirming to Nick that what he had just seen was not an hallucination. It was then that Nick saw his son in a whole new light. His eldest had turned eighteen almost 5 months prior and, thanks to a gene obviously contracted from Nick's older brother, Aidan was almost a head taller then Nick; but Nick still saw him as the 10-year-old little boy complaining that his bedtime was too early.

 

            "I just wanted you to turn the music down." Nick said as way of conversation started, gesturing to the now closed bedroom door.

 

            Aidan looked at the door with a nod, "Uh yeah." He said simply.

 

            Nick didn't know where to go from there. Should he acknowledge that he'd seen his eighteen year old half naked with a girl in his bed, or should he just let it slide as if nothing had happened? The safest action would be to ignore it, not to mention the least embarrassing. But something told Nick it was something that had to be brought up, "So..." He started, pointing yet again to the door.

 

            "Yeah." Aidan nodded, "Sorry about that."

 

            Nick shook his head, "No! Just...not with your little brothers and sisters at home, okay?"

 

            "Sure." Aidan said shortly.

 

            Nick nodded and looked around nervously, "You know if you ever need to talk to someone about, you know, that..."

 

            "Thanks." Aidan interrupted quickly, but sincerity laced the sentiment.

 

            Nick nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets, "Will she be staying for dinner?"

 

            "No."

 

            "Can I say ‘hi'?" Nick asked making as if to move towards the door.

 

            "No."

 

            "Fair enough." Nick said quickly backing away with his hands held in surrender, "Will you be around for dinner?"

 

            "Yeah." Aidan answered with a nod.

 

            "Good chat." Nick said jokingly at the lack of response he was getting from his son.

 

            Aidan sighed with a breathy chuckle, "Sorry. It's just...a weird position for your Dad to find you in." He shrugged also shoving his hands into his pockets.

 

            "Try it from the other side. I used to change your diapers." Nick chuckled scratching the back on his head, "Well Greg should be home any minute and then dinner won't be far off after that." He commented, starting to back up towards the stairs.

 

            Aidan nodded, "Sounds good."

 

            "Good." Nick repeated and the two quietly stared at each other for a moment before Aidan gestured to his closed bedroom door. Nick nodded and turned to walk down the stairs with a disbelieving shake of his head and Aidan once again disappeared into the confines of his bedroom.

 

            On his way down the stairs Nick smiled at the stereotypical family photos that lined the stairwell. School pictures of the kids at different ages, portrait shots of the whole family and certain candid photos Nick and Greg adored. The bottom step brought Nick eye level to his favourite photo they had put up. It had been taken a month or so after they had moved into their current house (a bigger place to allow more room for the ever growing family) and Nick had been attempting to set up a swing set in the backyard for which Greg was no help. Instead he had arranged for the kids to use Nick as a bench and so the picture consisted of an11-year-old Aidan, a 7-year-old Charlie, a 4-year-old Angelica and 2-year-olds Austin and Isabelle sitting on Nick's chest laughing hysterically as Nick attempted to keep the half built swing set from falling apart.

 

            Nick sighed happily at the picture as he descended the last step of the stairs. His foot did not connect with linoleum floor however but instead with something furry and he gasped and jumped past the obstruction. He turned around to see what he had almost stepped on to find a white and black bunny crouched near the stair, twitching its nose like Nick had not almost squished it to death. Nick sighed again and bent to pick up the bunny. As he did so the front door opened behind him and he turned to find Greg taking off his shoes and sunglasses. Greg went to speak but Nick held up a finger, "Angelica!" Nick yelled into the house and the two could hear running footsteps from Angelica's bedroom in the basement.

 

            "Almost step on him again?" Greg asked with a chuckle.

 

            Nick just gave him a look as Angelica came into view from around the corner, "Yeah Dad?" She asked, running her hands along her hairline to tuck a few loose strands of blonde hair behind her ear. Angelica, unlike Aidan who'd always been taller then his classmates, was shorter then the other 11 year olds she knew but Nick and Greg had always chalked it up to the fact that Leighanne had never been tall herself and that Angelica had been heavy into gymnastic from the age of 5. She was extremely athletic and loved animals, hence why Nick found himself holding a bunny; one of the 6 pets Angelica owned.

 

            "I almost stepped on Crayon again. Could we try a little harder to keep him in his cage?" He asked handing the rabbit over to its owner who smiled sheepishly and again tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

 

            "Sorry Dad." She mumbled embarrassed, petting the soft fur on Baxter's back.

 

            "I'll forgive you this time." Nick smirked and Angelica smiled, "Dinner's almost ready so can you go wash up?" He asked and Angelica nodded, turning to leave the front hallway.

 

            "Hey, don't I get a hug hello?" Greg asked with fake hurt, holding his hands out to his sides. Angelica giggled, turned on her heel and walked over to give Greg a one armed hug.

 

            "Hi Daddy." She said as Greg kissed the top of her head.

 

            "It's good to be home." Greg said letting go of his daughter, "Now go wash your hands." He instructed and Angelica once again turned to leave the room.

 

            Greg turned to Nick who was no longer at the bottom of the stairs but was moving down the hall picking up scattered t-shirts, socks, notebooks and what looked to Greg like Cheetos; it was hard to keep a house of 7 clean, "Austin's grounded from video games for the night because apparently ‘Stay on the street' meant ‘Go wherever you want'." Nick was saying as he continued to tidy, "Isabelle has a sleepover later but Nikki's parents are coming to pick her up. Charlie can't go out until he's finished his homework and ummmm," Nick paused both his words and his cleaning and looked thoughtful.

 

            "Hey Nick?" Greg asked and Nick looked at him questioningly, "Don't I get a hug hello?" He asked like he had only moments before and watched Nick chuckle and shake his head as if he was amazed he hadn't even welcomed Greg home.

 

            Nick crossed the hallway, still with a myriad of items under his arms and in his hands, to awkwardly wrap his arms around his husband, "Hi baby." Nick whispered kissing Greg's hair with a sigh.

 

            "Hey Nicky." Greg whispered rubbing Nick's lower back.

 

Suddenly a ding rang out from the kitchen and Nick pulled away slightly in order to call, "Dinner!" to the rest of the house and within seconds movement could be heard from areas of the house that had previously been quiet.

 

"How was work?" Nick asked pulling away completely and handing Greg a red sneaker to put into the front closet.

 

Greg shrugged, "Work was work. Though Catherine almost showed her boobs to half the day shift when she forgot she wasn't wearing a shirt under her coveralls." He recounted as Nick laughed. Nick and Greg had both moved to the day shift when the twins had been 4; the graveyard shift no longer conducive to their life style. With Catherine as their supervisor the day shift allowed the boys to be home with their kids when they got home from school. For the past several weeks however they were on different shifts for the first time in years. Nick had undertaken the role of acting supervisor of graveyard, until a permanent one could be found, after Warrick had unexpectedly left the post. On yet another whim he had married a woman from his gym and run off to Hawaii with her. For some reason Nick couldn't find fault in the action. Sure it was irresponsible but his best friend was happy where he was and who could argue with that?

 

"And I'm sure you wouldn't have liked that at ALL." Nick said with fake sympathy and Greg gave him a cheeky smile.

 

"Daddy!" The pair heard from the second floor landing and looked up to find Isabelle running down the stairs to leap into Greg's arms for a hug. Nick smiled as Greg spun his daughter around in a giant hug, her long dirty blonde hair coming out of its ponytail slightly. Isabelle was tall for her age and had almost surpassed Angelica in height. She was also Nick and Greg's ‘girly' girl; always dressing up and begging to wear makeup long before Nick and Greg even considered letting her.  "Can we play Monopoly tonight?" She asked when Greg set her down.

 

"Only if I get to be the doggie." Greg bargained.

 

"Daaaaaaaaaaaddy!" The eight year old whined with a pout.

 

Greg gave a dramatic sigh, "Oh all right you can be the doggie." He relented as the rest of the family congregated in the front hallway.

 

"I thought it was dinner." Charlie asked confused as he hit the last step of the stairs.

 

"It is." Nick commented throwing a t-shirt in the teenager's direction that Charlie caught and looked at confused until he realized it was his.

 

"Then why are we having a family meeting in the hallway?" Austin asked jumping from three stairs up to the bottom floor. Austin and Isabelle may have been born on the same day but unless you looked really closely that was all the twins shared in common. Austin still hadn't hit a growth spurt, making him the shortest family member, and while Isabelle was lanky Austin was more meaty and muscled.

 

"We weren't, but we can. We can discuss the state of your bedroom." Nick commented as Austin's eyes went wide.

 

"Dinner's waiting!" Austin said loudly to change the subject, sliding on socked feet down the hall towards the kitchen, followed closely by his siblings. 

 

-- -- --

 

            As the five children of the Sanders-Stokes clan grew, it seemed to become less and less obvious that they did not all share the same father. Angelica, Austin and Isabelle looked enough like their birth mother to make them passable as full blood siblings.

 

It was their two eldest sons however that broke the mold. Forever the epitome of their biological fathers, Aidan and Charlie couldn't have looked less alike and it shocked people on more then one occasion to learn that they were, in fact, half brothers.

 

"Mmmm lasagna!" Austin cheered rubbing his hands together as he sat waiting for his share of dinner.

 

"I'm going to miss homemade meals." Aidan said sadly.

 

"Are you kidding me?" Nick said as he set a plate in front of the last person at the table without one; himself, "You're going to live with your grandparents. My mother will be making you so many homemade meals you'll be sick of them by November." He laughed.

 

Aidan sighed and picked at his dinner, "It's still going to be different." He shrugged. Aidan began school at Texas A&M that September and because campus was only an hour drive from the Stokes family residence, he would be spending his first year living with Nick's parents.

 

"You know you could always stay home." Greg said with raised eyebrows.

 

"Now I didn't say I didn't want to go." Aidan said quickly with a chuckle, "I'm just...going to miss it here." He said with a sigh, looking around the kitchen. Nick and Greg looked across the table at each other with the same look of knowing and sadness that they shared every time someone would bring up their son's imminent departure from the house. Aidan was a real homebody in comparison to his siblings. He had plenty of friends and liked to go out, but it could be seen just how much he loved staying home and spending time with his family. Nick and Greg figured Aidan's hesitation about leaving was born out of being the eldest; he was leaving and would no longer be around to look out for his little brothers and sisters.

 

"You have to go! It's because you're going that we get to go visit Grandma and Grandpa." Isabelle protested.

 

"Dropping Aidan off isn't the only reason we're going to the ranch." Nick explained, "It's your grandparents wedding anniversary and they've invited everyone out to celebrate. It just so happens it coincides with dropping Aidan off."

 

"So this is going to be a long drawn out event?" Came Charlie's crumbled reply.

 

"Well I'm sorry that visiting your family that you don't see very often is such a chore Charlie." Nick said with a heavy sigh. Charlie had been overly moody ever since he found out he'd have to go to summer school in order to complete the ninth grade.

 

"I'm going to miss school." He said simply with a shrug at his lasagna.

 

"We've already talked to your teachers. They've given you some homework for the classes you'll be missing. You can do it in Texas." Greg supplied.

 

"Great." Charlie mumbled sarcastically. The atmosphere in the room had darkened considerably. Austin, Isabelle, Angelica and Aidan remained silent, almost afraid to move their utensils lest they create noise.

 

"Charlie." Greg said with a warning tone to his voice, "It is no one's fault in this room, or any other room, that you're in summer school. We don't deserve to be on the receiving end of your bad mood."

 

"No. You'd all just rather the dumb member of the family shut up and be quiet." Charlie mumbled rebelliously.

 

"Charles Gregory you are not. Dumb." Nick said slowly eyeing Greg, who was eyeing him back.

 

Charlie cackled humourless, "I didn't think I was either. But you would both rather I be more like Aidan, wouldn't you? Honour's List and off to a big time university instead of a summer school student in remedial English?" He shook his head and pushed back roughly from the table, turning to leave from the room.

 

"Charlie, get back here." Nick said sternly, all of his muscles tense to keep himself from physically grabbing the teenager to keep him in the room; to explain his sudden outburst.

 

"I've got homework." Was Charlie's reply without even turning around and he was around the corner a second later.

 

It wasn't the first time they'd lost the 14 year old to anger and it probably wouldn't be the last. It was becoming more and more of a regular occurrence but that didn't mean the aftermath was any less awkward. The four remaining children at the table were staring at their plates and both Nick and Greg were looking at the kitchen doorway that Charlie had just walked through. No one spoke for a long time and the only sound in the room was the scrape of Isabelle's fork as she pushed it back and forth across her plate.

 

Suddenly the sound of the front door opening and closing filled the kitchen and in an instant both Nick and Greg were on their feet, worried it had been Charlie who had left the house, "That...was Michelle." Aidan whispered and promptly received confused looks from both his parents.

 

"You asked your girlfriend to sneak out of the house while we were all at dinner?" Angelica asked incredulously.

 

Aidan looked embarrassed at being caught; his cheeks turning pink, "She was a little...embarrassed about before." He said looking at Nick quickly, "Didn't want to make a scene."

 

The tension seemed to break in the room and even though only Aidan and Nick were in on the joke they began to crack up and soon were laughing so hard tears were rolling down their cheeks, "What's so funny? What happened before?" Austin asked excitedly, wanting to be in on the joke.

 

"Yeah. What gives?" Greg asked chuckling at the sight of the normally reserved father and son letting go.

 

"I'll tell you later." Nick said between large gulps of air that just made him and Aidan laugh harder.

 

"Definitely sounds like a good story." Greg said to Austin, Isabelle and Angelica who laughed.

 

Nick and Aidan were finally starting to calm down when Greg felt a presence behind him and turned to find Charlie leaning against the kitchen door jam, looking just the littlest bit angry but also apologetic and guilty. Greg watched his son for a long moment, contemplating the source of all the anger he'd been displaying, but soon recognized Charlie's gesture of apology. There would be time later to delve into reasons but a long talk wasn't what Charlie was looking for.

 

Greg made eye contact with the teenager and nodded his head silently, pushing Charlie's chair back from the table with his foot. He saw a faint smile appear on Charlie's lips before he slid into the offered chair and quietly looked down at his meal.

 

Nick had noticed the gesture but also noticed it wasn't the time to bring up such matters in conversation. So instead he pulled his chair closer to the table and said, "So what should we bring on the plane to entertain us on the way to Texas?"

 

The question spurred answers in the millions and the entire family fell into easy conversation as they finished their dinner.

***

            As Nick jumped down from the rental Chevy, he swung the door closed and leaned against it to take in a deep breath of air. Nothing really beat the feeling of Texas in your lungs, on your skin, all around you. He missed it, no matter how much he loved his job and his life in Vegas. He turned when he heard a sigh to his left to find the opposite of everything Texas rounding the front of the truck from the passenger side.

 

            Greg always had an issue with the smell of manure and country when they first arrived at the ranch, so Nick wasn't surprised to see the look Greg normally reserved for decomps spread across his husband's face.

 

            "Can't they get an air freshener?" Greg asked.

 

            "For the entire state, G?" Greg gave him a shrug and Nick laughed turning to walk to the back of the truck to let the tailgate down in order to let the bed's five occupants spill out. Greg had been hesitant to let Nick rent a truck for their trip to Texas, but the kids had seemed really excited about getting to sit in the bed of the truck so he had relented. If the ranch hadn't been only a 10-minute drive from the airport he would have fought harder however.

 

            "Can I get a piggy back ride Aidan?" Isabelle asked as she stood at the end of the truck. Aidan nodded and spun around to let his little sister climb onto his back.

 

            "Charlie can I have a piggy back ride too?" Austin asked. Charlie stood lent against the truck looking bored and had his Ipod playing in one ear.

 

            He looked up at the question, "All this homework is really weighing me down, Aust." He said as way of decline, slinging his backpack over one shoulder and walking without another word towards the ranch's front door.

 

            Nick shook his head at the retreating back before clapping Austin on the back, "Come on Austin I'll give you a ride." He offered and knelt so Austin could get on his back.

 

            "Why is Charlie sad, Dad?" Austin whispered in Nick's ear on the walk towards the house.

 

            Nick sighed, "I don't really know, Aust." He said honestly.

 

            When the entire family had reached the front stoop of the house, Nick dropped Austin to his feet so he was able to pull his keys from his back pocket to find the one that fit the lock in front of him. He hadn't lived at the ranch for almost 4 decades but he still had a key to the house that used to be his home; and still was in some ways. It felt even more like home when a call of "Baby brother!" Was screamed from down the hall and a second later Nick was pulled under his brother's arm and given a noogie; just like when they were kids.

 

            When he was finally let up, Nick smacked his brother on the arm and ran a hand through his hair, "What are we, Will? Twelve?" He asked with a chuckle.

 

            "Nah just immature." Will smiled pulling Nick in for a proper hug, "And who is this you brought with you?" Will asked when they pulled from the hug. He turned to the kids and counted them before looking at Nick in astonishment, "FIVE children Nick? How did THAT happen?" It hadn't taken Will long after the twins were born to bring up the fact that he and his younger brother had the same number of children and it had been a running joke ever since.

 

            "I don't know, man. You rubbed off on me." Nick answered, touching the back of his head that was still slightly burning from his noogie.

 

            "And if it isn't college boy with the big fat football scholarship!" Will commented slapping Aidan's hand and pulling him into a one armed hug.

 

            Aidan laughed and blushed slightly, "It's actually soccer Uncle Will." He corrected.

 

            Will shrugged, "It's impressive whatever it is. I'm going to have to get you in the backyard sometime this week to check out your skills."

 

            "Well if not this week then next. I'm here for good to start school." Aidan smiled.

 

            "And we're so glad to have him." Came a soft, yet commanding, female voice from behind the group in the front hall.

 

            Jillian Stokes had obviously been in the kitchen, as she was drying her hands with a dishtowel when the group turned her way, "Grandma!" Austin, Isabelle and Angelica ran into their grandmother's arms as she hummed and hugged them back.

 

            Jillian looked up and made eye contact with Nick and smiled as she scanned the five men, and they really were men, standing with their hands in their pockets in front of her. Three that could be clones of each other, just in different stages of life and two that could literally be twins, "Well where are my hugs gentlemen?" She asked expectantly, putting her hands on her hips. And in an instant those five men...became boys. They sheepishly approached their mother/grandmother/mother in law in turn and lent down to hug her to them; even Will who had been there all day and lived only a twenty minute drive away.

 

            "I've made a batch of your favourite cookies Nicky but I'd get to them pretty fast before your brothers bunch gets their hands on them. They polished off an entire pie this morning." Jillian giggled.

 

            "They're growing boys and girls." Will said defensively and his mother swatted him good-naturedly on the arm.

 

            Nick smiled, "Cookies sound great but I've got to get the luggage out of the truck."

 

            Jillian scoffed, "Don't be silly Nick. You guys have had a long flight. William grab those boys of yours and bring their luggage up to their rooms." She instructed.

 

            "No mom really it's okay. Greg, Aidan, Charlie and I can have it upstairs in no time." Nick argued, knowing it was a lost cause but still trying.

 

            "Do not argue with your mother Nicholas." She said sternly and Nick relented. Will called for Colin and Max, his eldest and third child and they jogged out to the truck while Jillian led the seven remaining occupants of the front hall to the kitchen.

 

            "Well if it isn't little Nicky." Nick's smile spread wide at the sight and sound of his youngest sister Maggie and as he scanned the kitchen his smile only grew upon spotting his other four sisters milling around the kitchen.

 

            "You're not allowed to call me little anymore. You stopped being able to do that when I was fourteen and you stopped being taller then me." He pointed out and at Maggie's laugh another round of hugs ensued that lasted long enough for Will, Colin and Max to get all the luggage upstairs and return to the kitchen.

 

            "Where's your Dad?" Greg whispered to Nick as they leaned against the kitchen counter; the occupants of the kitchen braking off into several different conversations.

 

            Nick shrugged, "He might be in the barn or in his study. He'll turn up sooner or later."

 

            "Okay, question number two." Greg went on and Nick chuckled, "All of your family isn't staying here for the week are they? Because I know this is a big ranch but the kids aren't as small as they used to be."

 

            Nick shook his head, "Its only us and Will's crew staying at the ranch and that's only because their house is being remodeled. Everyone else is just coming for the party on Friday. And visiting now it would appear." He explained and Greg ‘ah'ed with realization.

 

            "So what's with the tan, Will?" Nick and Greg were pulled into a conversation already in progress as Claire, Nick's oldest sister, was commenting on the distinct farmer's tan visible under the shorter sleeves of Will's t-shirt.

 

            Will inspected his arms and smiled, "That my darling sister is a golfer's tan. I've been on the green so much these past couple of months, I've considered setting up a cot and sleeping there. I'm retired remember? I'm a kept man while the wife's still at work." He chuckled speaking of his wife, Amanda.

 

            "Must be nice." Nick cracked and everyone laughed as if it were a joke but Greg saw a flash of envy cross his husband's face that was all to real. He furrowed his eyebrows in Nick's direction and Nick shrugged, seemingly not willing to explain his comment as he went on to tease his nephew about the long brown hair that fell into his eyes.

 

-- -- --

 

            "Dad! Austin keeps splashing me!" Isabelle whined as she wiped water from her eyes while she bobbed in the pool in the Stokes' backyard.

 

            Greg looked up from the book he was reading and sighed when he heard, "Only because she splashed me first!" from Austin's corner of the argument.

 

            "I find NOT splashing each other works well to solve both problems. That? Or getting out of the pool entirely." Greg reasoned.

 

            Austin and Isabelle looked at each other for a second as if deciding a course of action, before swimming away from each other without another word, effectively ending the argument. Greg went back to his book and marveled in the silence of the afternoon. It wasn't common to find silence at the ranch. With the size of Nick's family, solitude was a virtue not easily found; but with Nick off with his brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews and son and daughter playing a game of touch football, Greg was left with only Austin and Isabelle to supervise in the pool. And seeing as both were extremely good swimmers, the task was an easy one.

 

            Greg turned to look over the back of his lounge chair at the ranch: at the window on the second floor, third from the left. Charlie sat in the room, supposedly doing homework and Greg sighed as he thought about the sullen expression his son's face had held all summer, only breaking occasionally before resurfacing as fast as it had left. It couldn't have only been the summer school that had Charlie so down and angry. There was something deeper but Charlie all but refused to talk to Nick or Greg about it. Greg had gone over every conceivable reason in his head but all failed to fit. Greg may have known his son, but that got him no closer to uncovering the problem.

 

            He turned in his chair again and was about to go back to reading when he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye, "Austin no running by the pool. If I catch you again you won't be back in this pool all week." Greg scolded as the eight year old skidded to a stop and Greg was certain he heard a muttered ‘busted' from the brunette.

 

            "But Izzy was running too!" Austin protested, attempting to deflect the blame from himself.

 

            "Well I didn't SEE Izzy running now did I? I saw YOU." Greg answered. Austin scowled and turned his head from Greg, angry at being caught. Greg watched his son's hand reach up his chest absently and scratch at a light pink line that trailed down the centre and ended just slightly below his rib cage. It still hurt Greg to see the scar that marred Austin's chest, even though Austin wore the mark like a badge, showing it off to his friends; a physical reminder of a procedure Austin could barely remember.

 

            Greg shook himself and made himself forget the train of thought as Austin turned and leapt back into the pool. As far as Greg was concerned, no matter how proud Austin was of the scar, he was not at all eager to remember the second scariest time of his life.

 

-- -- --

 

            "Do you remember the first time you brought me here?" Greg asked later that day as he sat on the bed in Nick's old bedroom and watched the older man change into jeans and a t-shirt after taking a shower.

 

            Nick paused in his search for a shirt and looked thoughtful, "Of course I do." He answered after a moment and Greg discovered the thoughtful look was not Nick trying to remember the event but instead continuing to think of his wardrobe choices. He dug deeper into his suitcase and produced a t-shirt he obviously approved of and slid it over his head. Greg caught the slight wince as Nick's head popped out from the neck hole; Nick was obviously feeling the effects of his age after playing football all afternoon, "Why do you ask?" He asked walking over and dropping on the bed next to Greg.

 

            "Do you remember your twin bed?" Greg chuckled.

 

            Nick laughed, "Yeah that was embarrassing. I thought for sure Mom would have gotten a double over the years but no one other then me had slept in the room since I moved out. I guess there didn't seem to be a need."

 

            "I was the first you brought home?" Greg asked even though he knew the answer. They had this conversation a lot.

 

            "First and only babe." Nick whispered kissing Greg's t-shirt covered chest before leaning on an elbow and playing with the hem of Greg's shirt.

 

            "Where are the kids?" Greg asked out of curiosity.

 

            "Bonding with their cousins." Nick answered, moving his wandering hand under the hem of Greg's shirt to the skin below. Greg sighed.

 

            "Hey what was with that comment before?" Greg asked after a moment or two.

 

            "What comment would that be?" Nick asked innocently, playing with the downy soft hair that started at Greg's naval.

 

            "The one you made after Will made that crack about being a kept man." Nick's hand stopped it's journey under Greg's shirt and lay motionless against his stomach. Greg, who hadn't looked at Nick since he laid down, turned his head at the lack of response and looked at Nick in the eye, "Well?"

 

            Nick chuckled nervously and removed his hand from Greg, "It was nothing Greg. Just trying to get a laugh." He got up and sat on the edge of the bed. Greg pushed up and moved to sit next to him.

 

            "It was more then that." Greg said softly.

 

            "Who wouldn't WANT to be a kept man Greg? I didn't mean anything by it." Greg suddenly decided Nick and Charlie were spending too much time together. Something was bothering the both of them and yet they remained stubbornly quiet about it.

 

            "I saw that look Nick. You meant something by it. Talk to me." Greg almost pleaded, taking Nick's hand in his.

 

            Nick shook his head and looked down at the blue-carpeted floor below him, "I've been thinking lately...about..." He sighed and paused as if not wanting to finish the sentence.

 

            Greg tensed and finished it for him, "Retiring?!" He said loudly. He let out a humourless laugh, "Good one Nick. That's a funny joke. Considering we couldn't possibly afford five college educations on ONE salary."

 

            "I haven't been thinking of retiring." Nick said softly and watched Greg deflate slightly and relax, "Much." He added and Greg looked at him curiously.

 

            Nick sighed and stood up, leaving Greg on the bed looking after him, "I've been thinking lately about...making the switch back to graveyard at work." He whispered.

 

            "You have been on graveyard Nick. Or have you secretly been going out to strip joints when you tell me you're working." Greg cracked trying to lighten the mood. Nick didn't take the bait.

 

            "No. I'm thinking about making the move...permanent." He finished, "I'd finish up my time at the lab as supervisor of the graveyard shift and then retire when we have a fund set up for all the kids."

 

            "You want to move back to graveyard...for good." Greg said as if he didn't quite believe it. Nick nodded and remained silent, "Why?"

 

            Nick sighed and shook his head, "I don't know. Because it's a different level of my career that I didn't think I would ever get to and don't really see wanting to give up. Every time they interview for a new supervisor I get nervous. *I* want to be the supervisor."

 

            "But we'd be on different shifts. COMPLETELY different shifts. The kind of different shifts that have us seeing each other only a couple hours a day." Greg reasoned.

 

            "I know." Nick said simply and the ease with which he acknowledged it made Greg's anger flare.

 

            "Are you really that desperate to be away from me?" He said angrily.

 

             "Greg, this isn't even about you!"

 

            "EVERYTHING  is about me Nick!" Greg screamed not caring how egocentric it made him sound, "That's kind of how a marriage works. Or at least how I thought it did. ALL of my decisions or thoughts first go through a Nick Filter. I am constantly wondering how my choices will effect you, us, our family!"

 

            "And you don't think mine do?" Nick yelled, offended.

 

            "This sudden desire to become a permanent graveyard supervisor couldn't have gone through ANY filter if your even bringing it up. Because if it had you would have seen that it doesn't benefit anyone but yourself!"

 

            Nick's face was hot and red but he couldn't decide if it was anger, embarrassment or guilt that was colouring it, "I need a breather." He said eerily calm and then turning to opening a door that led to a set of stairs that went from Nick's bedroom to the backyard.

 

            "So you're just going to walk away? We were talking!" Greg screamed walking after Nick to the door but by the time he got to the door Nick was already at the bottom of the stairs and stalking towards the barns.

 

            Greg let out a harsh breath and was torn between going after his husband and slamming something into a wall. He'd made his decision and as he turned to find something to throw he was stopped by a figure in the doorway to the bedroom. Greg's eyes were clouded with anger but they cleared enough so he could see Austin standing with a hand on the doorknob and a wide-eyed expression on his face.

 

            *Fuck* Greg thought and tried to calm himself. Austin had obviously seen/heard the fight. How much of it Greg wasn't sure, but enough to obviously scare him.

 

            Son and father stood silently, frozen in the moment before Greg felt he was calm enough to not scare the eight year old further, "What's up Austin?" He asked lamely, but plastered a smile on his face and tried to act natural.

 

            Austin remained quiet and frozen, as if caught in the moment he'd walked in on. And suddenly, without warning, his bottom lip began to tremble and his eyes filled with tears ready to be shed. Greg jolted into action and made his way over to Austin quickly, pulling the boy by the hand until Greg was sitting on the bed with Austin between his legs, "Hey Aust, it's okay." He said softly, running a hand through Austin hair and smiling.

 

            "Are you...?" The words caught in Austin's throat.

 

            "'Are you' what?" Greg asked patiently, rubbing the back of the hand he still held in his own.

 

            Austin took a deep breath, gathering his courage to ask the question, "Are you and Dad going to split up...again?"

***

            They had just moved into a new house, in a new neighbourhood with new schools and new routines and everything seemed to be going so well. Aidan was a brand new middle-schooler with the grades of a genius and the popularity to rival any high school jock. Charlie was a thriving second grader with energy to spare while Angelica had over night become a kindergartener with a strong desire to flip, dance and twirl. Isabelle and Austin were meanwhile becoming their own little people: walking, talking and reeking double toddler terror wherever they could.

 

            Everything was perfect, until one day...it wasn't anymore.

 

            Nick and Greg would never forget the day they sat in the doctor's office, with Isabelle bouncy happily on Nick's knee and Austin curled timidly on Greg's lap, and found out that their little boy of only two years was going into heart failure. The toddler had lost his appetite over the weeks and was becoming more and more tired and listless with each passing day until neither Greg nor Nick could deny that something more then a cold was the matter. Neither had expected however that it would come to what it did; both agreeing that Austin had gone through enough during his first days of life.

 

            Deciding surgery to repair the heart defect causing the problem was too risky for Austin, the months following the day at the doctor's office were filled with medication regimes to be perfected and life style changes that effected the entire family. It put strain on the hinges of Nick and Greg ‘s relationship but just like all the other stressors in their life they would get past it.

 

            That is, however, until the medication was no longer helping the situation and Austin continued to get worse and worse until just shy of his third birthday the youngest member of the Sanders-Stokes clan was admitted to the hospital for a heart transplant. The doctors told Nick and Greg that it was a miracle a new heart could be found in such short a time but that little fact did not help them during the eight hours it took to do the surgery.

 

            Austin recovered like a champ after the surgery, and the medication (that he would inevitably have to take for the rest of his life) didn't even faze the little boy as he jump back into the life he shared with his brothers and sisters. Nick and Greg, however, did not rebound as quickly. The fights between them got worse and more frequent and the tension in the house was palpable.

 

            It had literally gotten to the point where the two couldn't be in the same room with each other when Greg was sent to San Francisco for a conference and his weeklong stay...turned into a month and a half. It hadn't been that hard convincing the kids that their Daddy was just away on work, but it tore Nick up inside every time he had to tell one of the kids that Greg wouldn't be home that night. What tore him up even more was that he didn't even know if Greg was going to be home at all. What kept Nick getting up every day was the thought that Greg wouldn't just up and abandon his family and he would be back, once he'd had time to think things through.

 

            The day Greg had called to discuss Charlie, Austin and Isabelle's move to San Francisco had dropped a led weight in Nick's stomach and spurred him into action. Greg was serious about making the spilt permanent and there was no way in hell Nick was going to let that happen. He didn't know how, but he knew he HAD to get Greg back: for the sake of their family. So he'd packed all five of the kids up and made the trek to San Francisco where Greg was staying with his childhood best friend.

 

            Greg was shocked to say the least when he opened to the door and was tackled by five sets of arms. He'd looked at Nick confused and Nick had shrugged, wondering if Greg was going to send him off the porch. Instead, Greg ushered the kids inside and then held the door open for Nick who stepped through cautiously. It wasn't much, but it had been a first step in reconciliation.

 

-- -- --

 

            Austin had been too young to analyze the two-month period for any more then what it was. His Daddy hadn't been around. But as he grew and learned more about the time from his brothers, he'd gotten a more cohesive picture of what the time had been.

 

            "No Austin. Dad and I are not going to split up again." Greg said firmly. It would have been the answer even if it hadn't been the truth, but Greg knew as he spoke the words that they were not a lie. He and Nick would never split up again, having learned from their mistakes and become a stronger team because of it.

 

            "But you were fighting." Austin said softly.

 

            Greg sighed, "Yeah we were. But grown ups do that sometimes. It doesn't mean we love each other any less. You fight with your brothers and sisters but you love them just the same, right?" Greg asked and Austin nodded silently, "So please don't worry about that, okay?"

 

            "Okay." Austin whispered.

 

            "Do you promise me?" Greg asked even though he knew it wouldn't be the last time one of the kids worried about the issue.

 

            "I promise Daddy." Austin's voice was strong and Greg smiled as he ran a hand over Austin's cheek.

 

            "So what did you come here for in the first place? How can I assist you?" Greg asked with a small bow of the head that made Austin laugh.

 

            "Izzy, Aidan, Alyssa, Colin, Angelica and I made a play and we wanted you and Dad to come watch it." Austin explained.

 

            "Well who would pass up that invitation?" Greg asked and got to his feet.

 

            "What about Dad?" Austin asked pointing to the door Nick had disappeared through.

 

            Greg sighed and looked at the door, "Dad's just taking a breather. I'm sure he'd love to see it later though."

 

            Austin seemed to think the answer through and decided it sufficed for he smiled and tugged on Greg's arm to pull him from the room and down the stairs to the awaiting group of people waiting to see the play.

 

-- -- --

 

            Greg found Nick an hour and a half later, in the stables, petting the black horse in the end stall with a contemplative look on his face, "Hey you." Greg whispered and Nick jumped slightly, retracting his hand from the animal and spinning towards the voice.

 

            He relaxed when he saw Greg, "Scared me." He said softly turning back to the horse when it nudged his hand with its snout and continued to pet it slowly.

 

            Greg made his way over to the stall and leaned against a wood post and crossed his arms, "Your Mom and Dad really aren't going to get another horse? Melee seems lonely." He said softly speaking of the horse Nick was petting.

 

            Nick ignored the question, "I wasn't even going to bring it up. It was more a pipe dream then anything else."

 

            "No Nick." Greg said and Nick looked at him curiously, "You should have brought it up. You HAD to bring it up. I just...reacted stupidly. Like always." He chuckled softly and Nick cracked a smile, "I panicked because being on different shifts may put another strain on our marriage and we all know what happened the last time stressors built up."  Nick diverted his gaze to Melee and a cloud seemed to move over his eyes.

           

            "Weren't we going to forget that?" Nick asked.

 

            "We could, but if we did then we may very well fall back into those traps that got us into trouble in the first place. And I'm not willing to let that happen."

 

Nick smiled softly, "Yeah?"

 

            Greg nodded, "Oh yeah. And even if my loving you to the end of the world and back wasn't the reason...spending 2 months with nothing but Mr. Right Hand was be enough to make SURE we stick together." He cracked and Nick laughed.

 

            "You're so romantic." He said with a shake of his head.

 

"'Tis why you married me, no?" Greg asked innocently and Nick chuckled softly with a shrug of his shoulders and a nod of his head,  "But seriously, it wasn't fair of me to think you were only thinking of yourself about this whole thing. A supervisor job would get us college funds for the kids much faster."

 

            "But we would never see each other." Nick said softly.

 

            Greg nodded, "We've been on different shifts before and it wouldn't last forever. We still have many years of blissful retirement to look forward too. We'll just have to make the time we see each other just that much more amazing."

 

            Nick smiled and Greg smiled back and they were both silent for a moment. Nick turned back to Melee the horse and stroked the animal's nose; "My parents are getting to old to get another horse. Melee's calm and trained. He'll be the last one they own."

 

            "And that's basically what we'll say the next time Angelica wants a new pet." Greg cracked and Nick laughed linking his fingers with Greg's.

 

            "Come on. Lets go back to the house." Nick urged pulling on Greg's hand he held in his and Greg stumbled slightly before falling into pace next to his husband to walk across the grass.

 

            "Have you talked to Charlie...at all since we got here?" Greg asked curiously.

 

            Nick shook his head with a sigh, "He's been in the kid's bedroom since we got here. ‘Working on homework'."

 

            "We've got to find out what his problem is before he becomes a hermit." Greg concluded as they reached the back porch of the ranch and paused at the back door.

 

            Nick sighed, "Well I told Colin I'd help him with his batting stance..." He trailed off.

 

            Greg smiled, "Well I'm going to go grab some water and then I'll come watch...I mean help." He corrected with a smirk and Nick laughed before leaving Greg to circle to the front of the house.

 

            Greg watched him leave before sliding open the back door and making his way through the living room towards the kitchen. He entered to find Bill Stokes sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of wine on the table in front of him looking contemplatively at a photo in his hands. He looked up startled when Greg's shoes squeaked against the linoleum; in the silence the sound echoed.

 

            "Sorry Bill." Greg apologized almost immediately, "I was just going to get some water. I'll come back later." He said starting to back up.

 

            "Don't be silly Greg." Bill waved off the apology, "Grab some water. Have a seat." He said gesturing to a chair at the kitchen table.

 

            Greg was half a second away from declining the offer; no matter how comfortable with each other the two had gotten, Greg avoided alone time with Nick's dad as much as possible. But for some reason, which was even a mystery to Greg, he didn't decline and made his way over to the sink to grab a cup and fill it with tap water before sitting kitty corner to his father in law, "Why have you never called me Dad, Greg?" Bill asked out of the blue.

 

            Greg, who had been taking a sip of water, almost choked on it and coughed sharply to clear his throat. He hadn't meant to but the question had startled him for some reason. Once he settled he tried to come up with an answer but his mind was blank. There was no explanation, "I don't...really know." He answered.

 

            Bill nodded, "For whatever it's worth I wouldn't mind if you did. All of the other kids' partners do."

 

            Greg nodded with a strained smile, not knowing what to say. It had never crossed his mind to call Bill anything other then Bill. Silence fell between them. Greg took a large gulp of his water and thought maybe he should start another conversation but he wasn't sure what to say, "What picture are you looking at?" He asked for lack of anything better.

 

            Bill, who had gone back to examining said picture, looked up questioningly as if he hadn't expected Greg to speak. Greg gestured wordless towards the picture, "Oh!" Bill said with realization, relinquishing the photo to Greg. Greg looked down at the crumbled picture he'd been given, obviously having seen better days. It was a photo of a much younger Stokes family and Greg smiled at the brunette little boy in Jillian Stokes' arms. Nick couldn't have been more then a year in the photo.

 

            "It's my favourite photo of all of us." Bill explained as Greg continued to observe the photo, "We took the kids on a picnic right before school started and Jillian had been bugging me that we hadn't really gotten a photo of the entire family since Pancho was born. So I'd stopped the next person walking by and asked them to take a photo of us." He stopped and chuckled to himself softly, "Jillian was all in a tizzy, saying that she didn't mean we needed a picture right then and that she and the kids weren't picture ready. She fussed over all of them for five minutes before she let the picture be taken. They've never looked better." He said softly and without even looking up Greg could actually hear the love Bill had for his family, "She hated it though," Bill continued, "Told me to destroy it. We got a professional photo done a week later but I never got rid of it. I don't even think she knows I still have it."

 

            "It's a great picture." Greg commented handing the photo back to its owner.

 

            Bill nodded and the two were silent for a long moment. Greg was about to get up and leave Bill to his silence when Bill spoke up, "I saw Charlie earlier, for a second."

 

            "Well be lucky you got that much." Greg sighed.

 

            "Is he having problems?" Bill asked concerned.

 

            Greg sighed again, "Yeah but it beats me what the problem is."

 

            "Have you tried asking him?" Bill asked.

 

            Greg was about to say ‘yes' but stopped when he realized that wasn't the answer at all, "No." He said astonished as if he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that in the beginning. He'd been so focused on trying to decipher the problem on his own.

 

            "Sometimes I find that helps." Bill smiled.

 

            Greg blushed, "I guess I still see Charlie as the five year old who couldn't articulate a problem, even if that problem was choosing which stuffed animal to sleep with at night."

 

            "It happens." Bill agreed.

 

            Greg smiled, "Well I should go. I'm helping Nick with Colin's batting stance; even though Colin's stance probably already beats mine." He chuckled getting up to put his glass in the sink.

 

            "Well good luck with that." Bill chuckled.

 

            Greg stopped at the doorway to the kitchen and turned, "Thanks for the advice...Dad." He said and grimaced as the word felt strange in his mouth, like it was fighting against being there.

 

            Bill chuckled, "It'll get easier to say I'm sure. But you're welcome, son."

 

            Greg smiled at the endearment before waving and making his way to the front door.

***

            "Hey teenager." Greg said softly as he pushed open the door to the kids bedroom the next day to find Charlie changing into a shirt that said ‘My t-shirt thinks you're ugly'; a shirt Greg actually found amusing even though his official party line was that it was offensive.

 

            "Hey Dad." Charlie sighed moving to sit back at the desk that had his notebooks strewn over it.

 

            "How's the homework going?" Greg asked making his way over to the bed and sitting on it, pulling an old stuffed animal of Nick's sister's onto to his lap.

 

            Charlie shrugged, "Okay."

 

            Greg nodded, "You know, not to quell your motivation or anything, but the homework they gave you was meant to last the week. Not be finished in a day and a half. You don't have to do it all now."

 

            Charlie blushed slightly and looked down at his papers, "I know." He said softly.

 

            "So why are you holing yourself up in this room and making the mad dash to finish it?" Greg asked. Charlie just shrugged as he absently played with a pencil between his fingers, "Are you not feeling well?" Greg tried even though he knew that wasn't the answer; so when Charlie rolled his eyes, Greg didn't comment.

 

            "I'm not sick Dad." Charlie sighed.

 

            "Then what's the problem? Mad about summer school?" Greg asked.

 

            "Yeah. No. Kinda. I don't know." Charlie said exasperatedly, throwing his hands up and bringing them down to slap against his thighs.

 

            "Hey. Hey. No need to get upset. We're just talking." Greg said calmly, "I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong so we can try to fix it."

 

            "I don't think we can fix it." Charlie mumbled under his breath.

 

            "But you agree that something is wrong?" Greg asked slowly.

 

            Charlie sighed, "I'm mad that I have to go to summer school. I'm mad that I'm in remedial English. I'm mad that all you and Dad and Aidan and this whole family talk about is Aidan's fancy soccer scholarship and his straight A's and his perfectness when really this whole thing is nothing more then him leaving and us never getting to see him." Charlie inhaled deeply after letting his whole speech out in one breath.

 

            "That's a lot to be mad about." Greg said after a moment and Charlie gave him a ‘see what I mean' look, "Look, when I was little I had this green duck stuffed animal. I loved that thing. I took him everywhere with me and never let him out of my sight. His name was Maury." Greg stopped for a second and Charlie quirked an eyebrow at him but didn't interrupt, "So one day when I was nine I couldn't find Maury anywhere and when I asked my mom she said that she had thrown Maury out because he was all ratty and smelly and I was too old to be carrying around a stuffed duck. I never saw Maury again." Greg finished his story and looked at Charlie who furrowed his eyebrows at his father and was silent for several moments.

 

            "What...does that have to do with anything?" Charlie asked, breaking the silence.

 

            "It doesn't. I just couldn't think of what to say and I haven't thought of Maury in a long time." Greg said getting a far off look on his face. He was jolted out of his reverie when he heard Charlie's bubbling laughter to his right and turned to find the teenager doubled over and holding his stomach from laughter. Greg smiled; he hadn't seen or heard Charlie laugh in months.

 

            Charlie straightened and wiped tears from his eyes as he calmed himself down, "Phew. Wow. Thanks Dad I needed a good laugh."

 

            "It's what I'm here for." Greg shrugged with a smile as Charlie calmed the rest of the way down, "But on a serious note Char?" Charlie raised his eyebrows expectantly, "You're not dumb just because you're in summer school or remedial English. And we don't think less of you just because Aidan is going off to university."

 

            "Sometimes it feels like it." Charlie whispered.

 

            "You are one of the smartest 14 year olds I know."

 

            "How many of us do you know?" Charlie sighed sarcastically. Greg ignored the question.

 

            "Do you know how sad it is for me not to be able to figure out a piece of technology? I used to be all into that. But you? You can program my computer to make it dance if you wanted to." Charlie smiled sheepishly, "Just because you had one bad year in English doesn't make you stupid. High school's hard. You can't just get by with natural smarts anymore. I promise you you'll figure this out. I know for a fact that if you apply yourself you'll be getting 90s and be out of summer school in no time."

 

            "Yeah I guess." Charlie whispered.

 

            "And you can't possibly think that just because Aidan is moving here to go to school that we'll never see him again." Greg said.

 

            "Not EVER again. But he won't be around anymore." Charlie mumbled.

 

            "Not during the school year but he's already planning his first trip home and Nick's already got us locked to come here for Thanksgiving. But I thought you'd be all excited about Aidan leaving. You'll be top dog once he's gone. You'll be the oldest. The one Isabelle, Austin and Angelica look up to."

 

            "I don't want that though." Charlie sighed with a shake of his head, "I just want Aidan to stay." He mumbled sadly and Greg's eyes softened, finally understanding Charlie's mood. Charlie and Aidan had always been close, despite being almost 4 years apart in age. They stuck together a lot when kids on the playground would make fun of them for their family life and out of that came a close relationship that Charlie obviously felt was being threatened by Aidan's move.

 

            "He's still gonna be your big brother Char. That's never going to change." Greg said softly.

 

            "It already is though. He'd rather be out playing soccer or hanging out with Michelle. We never hang out anymore." Charlie said sadly.

 

Greg was at a loss for words. He couldn't very well tell Charlie that his relationship with Aidan was never going to change. As they grew up they would inevitably be into different things and they were at an age when Aidan was trying to become his own person while Charlie was still very much defined by his family. Greg also couldn't tell the teenager that in time Charlie would find his own niches, his own girlfriend with whom to spend his time with and that he'd miss the constant interaction with his brother less and less. Greg knew from being told similar things in his youth that Charlie would never believe him.

 

            So when there was a knock at the bedroom door Greg was thankful for it and got up to answer it, "Aidan!" He said in surprise, pulling the door open further for the eighteen year old to step in. Greg caught Charlie's look of confusion at the sight of his brother.

 

            "I thought you went to the track with Uncle Will." Charlie said.

 

            Aidan shrugged and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, "I was but I didn't really feel like going for a run. I thought maybe I'd take a bike out and go riding through the forest." He said and Charlie nodded turning back to his homework with a scowl. There was silence for several moments and Greg could feel the awkward tension in the room, "Do you wanna come for a ride with me?" Aidan asked and Charlie looked up surprised.

 

            "Are you sure?" Charlie asked guardedly.

 

            Again Aidan shrugged, "Sucks to ride alone." Was his answer and Greg watched as Charlie's expression went from one of skepticism to one of joy.

 

            "Yeah I guess that could work." He said trying to act nonchalant, putting down his pen.

 

            "Awesome. But you're pulling the bikes from the garage." Aidan instructed and Charlie laughed, getting up and jogging from the room.

 

            Greg and Aidan watched him go before Greg turned to Aidan, "How long were you listening?" He asked knowingly and even though Aidan wasn't looking at him Greg could see a blush spread across his face.

 

            "A while." He said softly and Greg nodded even though Aidan couldn't see him. Aidan began walking towards the door but stopped halfway through it and turned to look at his father, "Does Dad know about Maury?" He asked, restraining a smile but doing poorly at it.

 

            Greg groaned, "That never leaves this room." He said warningly and Aidan laughed before walking down the hall and out of sight.

 

-- -- --

 

            "That makes complete and total sense." Nick said in wonder as Greg told him of his conversation with Charlie that night before bed.

 

            "And yet it took us this long to figure it out." Greg commented plopping down on the bed with a heavy sigh.

 

            "The mind of a 14 year old boy is a complex thing." Nick consoled, plumping up his pillows before sitting against them, "It could have been any number of things bothering him. I'm just surprised considering I felt the same way when I was eight, that I didn't see the signs."

 

            "When you were eight?" Greg asked sliding closer to his husband and sliding to lean against his chest when Nick lifted his arm.

 

            Nick nodded, "I was eight when Will went off to college. I think I might have cried for a month before and after he left, only when no one was around of course. He was my big brother, my only big brother and I remember being terrified that he wasn't going to be around to talk to or listen to me complain when our Dad's strict rules got ridiculous." He recounted.

 

            "How did your parents console you?" Greg asked, snuggling closer and entwining his leg between Nick's.

 

            "They told me that Will wasn't gone for good and that he would be home for Christmas. Then they gave me a calendar with a countdown until he would be home. Crossing off the days gave me something to look forward to instead of thinking about the fact that my brother wasn't around." Nick sighed as Greg's foot ‘innocently' started to rub Nick's ankle, making his thigh, by consequence, rub against...other things.

 

            "Somehow I don't think Charlie would be appeased with that." Greg chuckled watching a flush spread across Nick's face.

 

            "Can you not bring up Charlie when you're doing that?" Nick asked and Greg chuckled again, pushing up to straddle Nick's hips. They weren't naked, Greg's boxer and Nick's cotton pajama bottoms preventing skin on skin, but just the proximity was alluring.

 

            "This is totally one of my fantasies." Greg mumbled tracing random patterns on Nick's biceps with the tips of his fingers.

 

            Nick smirked, placing his hands on Greg's hips to steady him as Nick slid down lower on the pillow to get more comfortable, "After being married this long I thought I knew all of your fantasies. And besides, sex in my parents house kind of got checked off the list quite a few years ago."

 

            Greg leaned down and spoke right into Nick's ear, his hot breath wafting over the flesh and making Nick shiver, "Doesn't mean its still not near the top of the list. I think it's something that should be experienced more then once." And with that he licked along the shell of Nick's ear and smiled against his temple at Nick's answering groan.

 

            Seconds after the first a second groan tore from Nick's lips but instead of a groan of pleasure it was a groan of frustration. Greg mirrored the groan and they both turned their heads towards the door as the light, almost not there, knock sounded again, "Do we have to get that?" Greg whispered.

 

            "Could be one of the kids." Nick sighed, stroking Greg's thighs comfortingly.

 

            Greg rolled his forehead against Nick's and then fell beside him on the bed with a heavy sigh, "At least they learned to knock." He mumbled as Nick called a strained ‘come in!' to their visitor.

 

            Greg propped himself up on one elbow when the door creaked open and Austin shuffled in rubbing his eyes and holding his stomach, "What's up buddy?" Nick asked swinging his legs over the end of the bed and beckoning Austin closer.

 

            "I don't feel well." Austin whined softly, moving to stand between Nick's legs and leaning against him to put his head on Nick's shoulders.

 

            Nick turned his head towards Greg and they both shared a look of alarm. After Austin's surgery Nick and Greg were constantly worried every time Austin complained of illness or fatigue for they had been warned repeatedly of the signs of rejection.  They had been lucky over the years and the anti rejection medication Austin took everyday had been doing its job, "What exactly is wrong Austin?" Greg asked, moving to sit next.

 

            Austin shrugged and pulled away from Nick, "My tummy hurts." He said simply.

 

            "Do you have shivers? Are you cold?" Nick asked pushing Austin's hair off his forehead and checking for a fever. Austin shook his head against Nick's hand.

 

            Nick and Greg began to relax. It didn't seem Austin's problem had anything to do with organ rejection, "What did you have to eat when Grandma took you and Izzy out for lunch today?" Greg asked.

 

            Austin look contemplatively at the ceiling for a moment before answering, "Cheese pizza, bread sticks and ice cream." He recounted.

 

            "Yeah and he almost ate all the ice cream in the store!" The three men in the room turned to the door to find Isabelle walking through it.

 

            Nick chuckled, "Well I think we discovered the source of your tummy ache. Maybe next time you only eat one scoop of ice cream." He advised.

 

            "Or two." Greg added and Nick shot him a look as Greg chuckled.

 

            "Do you want to stay with us tonight Aust? Because you're not feeling well?" Nick asked. Austin had stopped wanting to sleep in Nick and Greg's bed when he was 5 but every once in a while he'd show up beside their bed when he'd had a nightmare.

 

            "Yeah." He whispered and climbed into the centre of the bed.

 

            "Can I stay too?" Isabelle asked. Greg nodded and Isabelle hopped onto the bed to lie next to her brother and in minutes both were sound asleep.

 

            Nick and Greg lay down facing each other, looking over the two bodies between them and Greg raised his eyebrows with a sigh. Nick nodded, "We gave up our privacy when we decided to become fathers five times over."

 

            "Maybe when they're all off at college we'll get some uninterrupted alone time." Greg commented, putting his hand up over the space between them.

 

            Nick reached his hand across as well, clasping his hand with Greg's and giving it a squeeze before they both withdrew them, "One can hope." He whispered as they snuggled under the covers.

***

            Nick woke up the next morning to find Greg's back pressed against his chest. He sighed happily as he leaned his face into the crook of Greg's neck and inhaled the scent he fell in love with so many years before. The exhaling breath that wafted over Greg's skin obviously hit a nerve because Greg's eyes fluttered open with a sigh as he snuggled back closer to Nick.

 

            "Didn't we fall asleep on opposite ends of the bed with two people between us?" Nick asked curiously as he slid a hand under Greg's t-shirt to drag his nails softly over Greg's stomachs muscles; smiling against Greg's neck when he felt the muscles ripple and a shiver run through Greg's body.

 

            Greg's eyes flicked to the clock on the bedside table, "It's after nine. The dynamic duo never sleeps in past eight. They're probably downstairs watching cartoons or something." He said stretching to wake himself up a little before snuggling back against Nick.

 

            "Mmmmm lucky us." Nick mumbled nipping the flesh behind Greg's ear lightly.

 

            Greg groaned softly reaching a hand behind him to try and pull Nick closer, "Everyone's probably up by now." He sighed sadly as Nick's hand on his stomach moved lower to push his thumb under the hem of Greg's boxer and run it back and forth slowly.

 

            "Mmmmm?" Nick's hum may have held a question but he knew what Greg was implying; he just didn't feel why it mattered.

 

            "I can't get into this knowing that people may be walking past the door. People like...your father?" Greg hated to quell the moment, especially after they had gotten a metaphorical cold shower the night before, but he didn't want to be getting into it with Nick while he thought of Bill Stokes hearing as he walked down the hallway.

 

            "We can be quiet." Nick whispered and Greg chuckled with a groan as Nick's hand continued lower.

 

            "When did you become the horndog in this relationship? I thought that was my job."

 

            "You're rubbing off on me." Nick mumbled.

 

            "And we can be quiet? When was the last time we were ‘quiet' during sex?"

 

            "There was that one time at work while we waited for the GCMS to finish." Nick reasoned.

 

            Greg half chuckled half groaned, "Seriously Nicky, we can't do this now."

 

            Nick groaned and removed his face from Greg's neck to lay his head behind Greg's on the pillow, "No fair." He grumbled like a five year old who was denied a cookie.

 

            "Maybe tonight, love." Greg placated, patting Nick's thigh, "In the mean time I want you to hear this new song I downloaded." Greg said moving to push up from the bed.

 

            Suddenly Nick got hit with inspiration. He pulled Greg back down on the bed quickly, causing Greg's elbow to connect with Nick's stomach, "Okay that hurt." Nick grimaced, holding his side.

 

            "Serves you right. Why did you pull me back down?" Greg asked turning to face Nick on the bed and running a hand down Nick's side slowly.

 

            "I had an idea." Nick said with a smirk before reaching past Greg to the bedside table and pressing a button on the alarm clock. The CD Greg had put in the day before started to play and Nick turned it up until the sound filled the whole room.

 

            Greg burst out giggling as he shook his head, "You can't be serious." He laughed.

 

            Nick raised his eyebrows and rolled over so that he was lying on top of Greg, his arm braced on either side of Greg's head keeping him from crushing the younger man, "Never say your kids can't teach you anything." Was his answer and the laugh died in Greg's throat as Nick's lips connected with his.

 

-- -- --

 

            "Good morning all!" Greg sang happily walking into the kitchen with Nick behind him.

 

            "You're in a good mood." Aidan said surprised as he sat finishing off his orange juice, looking through a course selection book for Texas A&M.

 

            "Is that a crime?" Greg asked, pouring himself and Nick a cup of coffee before pushing up to sit on the counter. Nick moved to lean against the counter next to him.

 

            "No it's just a little creepy." Charlie reasoned looking at his fathers oddly.

 

            Will laughed and pointed at Nick before saying, "You know Amanda says I get the same look on my face after we..." He paused as if just realizing what he was about to say and what it implied. His eyes went wide with horror and he looked back and forth between Nick and Greg who were smirking, "Ew. Ew. Ew!" He said as he shivered dramatically.

 

            "Don't be so dramatic Willy." Nick said with a laugh moving to sling an arm around his big brother.

 

            "But you're my baby brother. It shouldn't be allowed." Will pouted.

 

            "You didn't seem to mind when we were younger." Nick laughed as he whispered in Will's ear to keep Aidan and Charlie from hearing.

 

            "Yeah well that was when I was a horny teenager and thought ANYONE getting it on was cool. It's different now." He whispered back.

 

            "You do realize we can hear you right?" Aidan's voice chimed in casually, not even bothering to look up from his book, making both Nick and Will jump.

 

            Nick laughed nervously, "It's not like you know what we're talking about anyway." He wasn't sure if he believed that or just hoped.

 

            "Oh we do. We're just trying REALLY hard to pretend we don't." Aidan shrugged.

 

            "Helps us sleep at night." Charlie agreed.

 

            "What helps you sleep at night?" Bill asked walking into the kitchen and heading towards the fridge; stopping to pull each of his sons into a one armed hug on the way.

 

            "Nothing." Nick, Greg, Aidan, Charlie and Will all said at the same time, which startled Bill as he pulled open the door to the fridge and he shook his head with a laugh before disappearing behind it.

 

            Silence fell over the kitchen except for the sounds of Bill rummaging through the contents of the refrigerator and...humming? Bill Stokes was definitely humming a tune one could only classify as jaunty as he pulled his breakfast ingredients from the fridge and made his way to the counter.

 

            He became aware that the five other members of the kitchen were staring at him and turned to look at them, "Can I help you gentlemen?" He asked.

 

            The five men continued to stare at him, suddenly banded together, as if examining him like a piece of evidence before Charlie voiced their collective opinion on the situation so eloquently, "Gross!" He exclaimed as they all realized what the look on Bill's face and his humming meant.

 

            As a group, the five men made their way out of the kitchen, each with a look of mock disgust on his face, shaking their heads at the confused man holding the ingredients of his breakfast omelet.

 

-- -- --

 

            "Did you ever wonder if your parents were getting it on when you were in bed when you were young?" Greg asked as he and Nick walked down the hall towards the family room, sipping their coffee.

 

            Nick laughed and then groaned, "Sooo not the time for that question." He said still getting a shiver at the thought of his parents having sex while they were just down the hall, "Though I don't really know when a good time for that question is." He finished as they reached their destination to find Austin, Isabelle and Angelica sitting around the television.

 

            "I used to think about it." Greg said with a shrug.

 

            "Thought about what?" Angelica asked curiously.

 

            Greg moved to sit next to her with a laugh at Nick's shake of the head, "Nothing. What are we watching?" He asked pointing to the television.

 

            "Teletubbies." Isabelle answered.

 

            "It was the only thing on." Austin clarified when Nick and Greg shot their children an odd look.

 

            The room was silent for several minutes as the five members of the family room sat and watched the colourful alien babies on the television until an exchange between Isabelle and Austin caught the attention of Nick and Greg. They watched, as the twins seemed to argue silently with each other. Austin pointing first to Isabelle and then to Greg with a stern look on his face. Isabelle then shook her head and pointed at Austin. The pointing continued until Isabelle sighed and rolled her eyes, getting up from the couch and making her way over to Greg.

 

            "Daddy?" She asked and Greg laughed because he knew that tone. It was the ‘I need a favour' tone accompanied by the ‘I love you, but I want something' smile and tilt of the head.

 

            "What do you want?" Greg asked with a smile.

 

            Isabelle's smile changed to the one she got when she knew she'd been caught trying to act sweet and she giggled slightly before answering, "Austin and I were wondering if we could go to the zoo today." She said gesturing to her brother who, when Greg glanced over, had a hopeful look on his face.

 

            "We were going to do something as a family today." Greg answered.

 

            "We can go to the zoo as a family." Austin bargained with a shrug.

 

            The comment got a snort out of Nick, "Do you really think your brothers will want to go to the zoo? We can pick something the whole family wants to do and then go to the zoo another day." He reasoned.

 

            "But tomorrow is the party and we leave on Saturday." Angelica piped in, even though she didn't seem too invested in the conversation; still staring at the television as if mesmerized by it.

 

            "See? Today is the only day." Isabelle eagerly grabbed onto the offered tidbit.

 

            Greg sighed and looked at Nick who shrugged with a laugh, "Please Daddy?" Isabelle asked putting on her best puppy dog eyes.

 

            "Would you want to go to the zoo Jellie?" Greg asked and watched the eleven-year-old shrug.

 

            "It could be fun." She said.

 

            Greg sighed again and turned back to find Isabelle and Austin both giving him puppy dog eyes and it startled him, "Why am I the only one getting attacked by the puppy dog eyes? It's your Dad's decision to." He chuckled and laughed harder when Austin shuffled over to target Nick.

 

            "Please Dad?" Austin asked, moving to kneel next to Nick on the couch in order to get his face closer to his father's.

 

            Nick sighed heavily and looked side long at the eight year old before shrugging, "If you can get your brothers to agree, we'll go to the zoo." He bargained and Isabelle and Austin cheered.

 

            "Come on Iz, let's go ask Aidan!" Austin said happily, getting up and gesturing for Isabelle to follow, which she did, giggling happily along the way.

 

            "Charlie's never going to agree to go the zoo." Angelica observed casually and Nick and Greg nodded, knowing she was probably right.

 

-- -- --

 

            "Did you know that a lion's snout is like a fingerprint? No two lions have the same pattern of whiskers."

 

            "Well I do now." Nick smiled as he leaned his elbows on the railing outside the lions' cage next to Angelica later that afternoon. She smiled, proud of herself: before turning back to watch the lions.

 

            "When can we go back to the ranch?" Nick sighed and turned to his other side where Charlie stood kicking at the dirt with his shoe; facing away from the cage with a frown on his face. The fourteen year old had agreed to go to the zoo after some cajoling but had reverted back to the angry, brooding persona he'd had when they'd first arrived at the ranch.

 

            Nick felt Angelica push off the railing and turned to watch her roll her eyes at her brother before turning to join Greg, Isabelle, Austin and Aidan at the tiger cage.

 

            Nick turned back to Charlie, "Could you be any more sullen?" He asked.

 

            "Probably." Charlie mumbled, defiantly, to the ground.

 

            "Hey." Nick said warningly moving to stand in front of Charlie and lifting the lowered LVPD baseball hat off the teenagers face. Charlie looked up with wide eyes, as if scared of getting in trouble; "How many times do I have to tell you I do not deserve to be spoken to like that."

 

            "Sorry." Charlie mumbled.

 

            "Excuse me?" Nick asked expectantly.

 

            "Sorry." Charlie said louder.

 

            Nick nodded curtly and sighed; "Now I know this isn't how you wanted to spend your day, but your brother and sister really wanted to come. Can't you get over the need to be cool for one afternoon? You don't even know anybody here."

 

            Charlie looked around, almost as if he was confirming the fact that none of his friends from Vegas had followed him thousands of miles to Texas, before turning back to look at Nick, "Only if we go see the snakes." He bargained and Nick smirked.

 

            "I think we can arrange that." He said setting the hat back on Charlie's head with the brim off to the side. Charlie laughed and readjusted the hat back to its original position.

 

            "Hey Charlie!" Both Nick and Charlie looked up at Aidan's voice to find him beckoning Charlie over, "Come on! We're going to the bat cave!"

 

            Charlie looked back at Nick, silently asking if their talk was done. Nick smiled and patted his son on the back before tilting his head towards Aidan. Charlie smiled and took off at a jog to catch up to his brothers and sisters.

 

            Nick followed and fell into step next to Greg behind their kids, "What was that all about?" Greg asked gesturing back to the lion cage.

 

            Nick shook his head and bumped his hand with Greg's softly, "When do we get to be done with the teen angst that is our life?" He asked and Greg laughed.

 

            "I THINK that part comes when we're so senile we can barely remember to do up our pants or put pants on at all."

 

            Nick groaned with a laugh, "That's a LONG way away."

 

            "Not so long for you." Greg cracked looking side long at Nick to see his reaction.

 

            "Oh you are so going to pay for that." Nick warned pushing Greg's shoulder to make him stumble slightly.

 

            Greg righted himself with a laugh, sticking his hands in his pockets as they continued to walk. He smiled at Nick, who smiled back, and then winked before he and Nick turned to follow their children into the darkness of the bat caves.

***

            "How do I look Daddy?" Nick turned at the voice from the stairs behind him and smiled.

 

            He reached out a hand, which Isabelle grasped as she almost floated down the rest of the stairs onto the main floor, "You look like a princess." Nick commented, taking the hand he held in his and spinning his daughter around, watching the lilac dress his mother had bought for her granddaughter flow.

 

            "What about me Dad?" Nick looked up again and his smile widened as Angelica walked slowly down the stairs in a beautiful blue dress Jillian had bought for her. He didn't get to see his eldest daughter dressed up very often; too athletic to care much about what she wore. But the odd time, like that day for the her grandparents anniversary party, when she did dress up, Nick was struck by what a beautiful woman his little girl was growing up to be and it both elated and scared him.

 

            Nick extended his other hand, which Angelica took, and he spun both his daughters around before looping their arms with his, "I couldn't think of more beautiful dates to bring to the party." He said simply, making both Angelica and Isabelle smile.

 

            "Hey what about me? Don't I get a date?" Greg asked dejected as he walked into the main hall. His fake look of hurt melted as he saw how beautiful his daughters looked and how handsome his husband looked, dressed in a classic black suit and tie.

 

            Isabelle and Angelica giggled and Nick smiled, leaning down to whisper in his daughters' ears, "I guess I can't hog both of you. Which of you would do your father the honour of being his date to the party?"

 

            "I will." Angelica smiled, letting go of Nick's arm and looping her arms with Greg's, "You look very handsome Daddy." She smiled and Greg straightened up with a smug look on his face, adjusting his dark blue tie on his light blue dress shirt, making Angelica giggle.

 

            "Where are the boys?" Nick asked as the foursome made their way through the house to the backyard where the party was being held. No guests had arrived other than Nick's sisters and their respective families but the sheer number of them made it look like the party had already started.

 

            "Charlie and Aidan were teaching Austin how to tie a tie the last time I saw them." Greg noted, opening the back door and ushering Angelica through it, "Aidan mentioned he was looking for you though. Said he wanted to talk to you all morning but you've been on the go since we woke up." He added and Nick nodded. Due to the simple fact that himself and Will were staying at the ranch they had been enlisted to make sure the party was set up correctly. Nick hadn't had a chance to sit down since getting out of bed almost 9 hours earlier.

 

            "Did he say about what?" Nick asked curiously laughing as both he and Greg lost their ‘dates' for the evening to the girls' cousins. Greg shook his head with a shrug before linking his hand with Nick's.

 

            "You look incredibly handsome Mr. Stokes." He said softly with a sweet smile.

 

            Nick smiled back, subconsciously fixing his tie, "As do you Mr. Sanders." He answered.

 

            "Ties are stupid." Both Nick and Greg turned at the grumbled comment to find Charlie, Aidan and Austin making their way through the back door. The comment had come from Austin; who was pouting as he tugged at his black tie.

 

            Nick's sister Joelle laughed as she came up to the little group and straightened Austin's tie for him, "I think you look handsome." She said with a smile. Austin was having none of it though and just stared before making his way further into the backyard without a word.

 

            "Some one woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Joelle commented.

 

            "Apparently." Nick mumbled as he watched Austin's retreated back with a concerned scowl.

 

            "Hey Dad I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second." Aidan said and Nick was in the middle of nodding when a call rang out from the depths of the backyard.

 

            "Nick! Joelle! We need your help!" It had been Will who made the call, struggling with table clothes blowing in the wind.

 

            "Can we talk later?" Nick asked apologetically and Aidan nodded with a sigh. Nick gave an apologetic shrug before he and Joelle jogged towards their brother.

 

            "Is the food out yet?" Charlie asked to no one in particular before making his way down the porch steps and into the backyard.

 

            Greg watched him go before turning to Aidan, "Do you want to talk to me about what's up?" He asked. He knew it was a tendency of Aidan's to go to Nick before he went to Greg when something was bothering him. It didn't necessarily bother Greg but it wasn't going to stop him from helping Aidan when he could.

 

            Aidan hesitated but then sighed, "It may actually be easier to talk to you about it." Greg's eyebrows furrowed as he followed Aidan back into the house, wondering what exactly could be wrong.

 

            "Is everything okay?" Greg asked.

 

            Aidan bit his lower lip with another sigh. He was really starting to scare Greg, "Okay I know that you and Dad have always wanted me to go into criminal forensics when I go to school but I've been thinking lately about doing something else." Aidan said quickly before biting his lip again.

 

            "What something else?" Greg asked curiously, not expecting that to come out of his son's mouth.

 

            Aidan remained quiet for a second before whispering, "Journalism."

 

            "Really?" Greg asked surprised.

 

            "I just..." Aidan's words caught in his throat and he spluttered out the start of several more sentences before raising his hands up and bringing them down to slap against his sides, shaking his head as he said simply, "There's just something about it that I like. I'm really sorry."

 

            Greg laughed and Aidan looked up sharply, surprised and confused, "Aidan you have nothing to be sorry about." Greg said as he continued to chuckle, mostly out of relief considering he was worried something was really wrong with his eldest.

 

            "I don't?" Aidan asked surprised, "But I always thought you and Dad expected me to go into criminal forensics like you guys."

 

            Greg shook his head and sat down on the couch, gesturing for Aidan to join him, "We only got behind the idea of you becoming a CSI because YOU wanted to be a CSI. The only thing Dad and I want is for you to be happy, in whatever profession you choose; whether that be a CSI or a journalist or a circus entertainer."

 

            Aidan chuckled, "You seriously wouldn't be upset if I wanted to become a circus performer?"

 

            "We're actually considering offering it to one of your siblings as a viable option." Greg deadpanned, making Aidan laugh, "Okay so we may have problems if you wanted to become a circus performer, but this is your life and you have to do what you feel is right for you; no matter what I or Dad or anyone else says or thinks."

 

            Aidan smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, revealing how scared he'd been to disclose his change in potential major. Greg smiled too, "So. Journalism." He said contemplatively.

 

            "Yeah. Journalism." Aidan echoed.

 

            "You should change your name to something catchy so when it's at the bottom of the column people go ‘Wow'. Something like...Aidan Malone." Greg said thoughtfully.

 

            Aidan chuckled, "I think I'll stick with Sanders-Stokes. It's a cooler last name in general. Hyphens are very in right now."

 

-- -- --

 

            Nick smiled as he looked around the ranch's backyard. The party was in full swing and the multitude of formally dressed people in the large backyard made it look reminiscent of a wedding reception complete with a ‘head table' of sorts consisting of Nick's parents and 6 of their oldest and dearest friends who had been their wedding party so many years before.

 

            Nick became aware of a body next to him and turned to find a twenty something year old man he'd never seen before, complete with nose ring, standing a little inside the socially acceptable stranger bubble, "Everyone seems to be having fun." The man said suddenly.

 

            Nick's eyebrows furrowed and he looked around to see if perhaps the man was talking to someone else. In the general area, however, it was only he and Nick and it was because of that that Nick felt compelled to answer, "Uh yeah." He said slowly.

 

            The man looked over with a smile before sticking out his hand, something he should have done in the first place and saying, "I'm Ty, Rebecca's boyfriend." Nick nodded and shook the extended hand, trying not to dwell on the fact that his niece Rebecca was only 18 while Ty was at least 23.

 

            "Nick, Rebecca's uncle." Nick introduced before falling silent again. He'd moved away from the crowd to think and didn't really feel like striking up conversation with his niece's nose pierced boyfriend.

 

            "Ohhhh you're THAT uncle." Ty said with a knowing nod.

 

            Okay Nick really wasn't liking this kid and made a mental note to talk to his sister about her daughter's choice of male companionship, "And what would THAT be?" Nick asked skeptically.

 

            Ty's eyes widened and he said almost apologetically, "Oh no I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I mean I knew a guy in college who was gay and he was a really nice guy."

 

            Nick just stared for a moment or two and then with an unbelieving shake of his head, he chuckled to himself before turning without another word to head inside the house.

 

            He found himself moments later at the door to his father's study; a place the Stokes children were rarely allowed to enter when they were kids. As they had grown older however, Bill had allow them to do their homework there because of how quiet the space was and before long the study became just another room in the house to hang out in, or fool around in if you were Will Stokes.

 

            As Nick entered the study, that hadn't changed at all over the years, he ran a hand over the edge of the mahogany desk that had always looked so big when he was little and would walk in to give his father a hug before bedtime. He was struck by just how much one's perspective of things changed. Things that seemed so large, over time had shrunk and things that seemed small and almost insignificant had over time become large and overwhelming.

 

            "A lot on your mind, Pancho?" Nick spun, startled by the voice to find his father at the entrance of the study; studying Nick with a soft smile.

 

            Nick chuckled, putting a hand to his chest, "You scared me Dad." He said letting out a breath.

 

            "Now," Bill said pointing a finger in the air as he walked into the study, "I know something is troubling you. You haven't called me ‘Dad' since you were six."

 

            Nick's eyebrows furrowed as if he hadn't even realized what he had said, "Not since Will convinced me that Cisco meant Dad in Turkish." He chuckled.

 

            Bill chuckled softly, "I didn't have the heart to tell you otherwise. I still don't understand why you were so obsessed with Turkey when you were little."

 

            "I liked the food." Nick said with a sheepish chuckle and a shrug.

 

            "So what were you thinking about?" Bill asked, looking at Nick curiously.

 

            Nick sighed, "About going back to Vegas tomorrow night and leaving Aidan here."

 

            Bill nodded knowingly and sat on the brown leather couch, "Seeing any of your children off to college is hard." He said.

 

            Nick nodded, "Yeah but it would be different if he was just going up state. He's moving two states away!" He exclaimed.

 

            "And I wouldn't know anything about watching a son move two states away to follow a dream." Bill said pointedly and almost laughed as the realization dawned on Nick face.

 

            "That was still different though." Nick defended, "I was almost 25 when I moved to Vegas. Aidan just turned 18."

 

            "I hate to break it to you Pancho, but it doesn't matter how old they get, it's still no picnic to have them so far away." Bill confessed, "But you soon realize that no matter how far away they are they're still your children, and will ALWAYS return home. Knowing that, makes it a lot easier to be happier and more proud of them when they create an amazing life for themselves half a country away."

 

            Nick bit his bottom lip as his eyes filled slightly at his father's words. Bill Stokes had been an amazing father to his seven children, but he'd always been the stoic supporter; all of his children knowing he cared without every really being told as such. Therefore to be on the receiving end of such a statement had Nick reacting unreasonably emotional.

 

            "Yeah I guess you're right." Nick said in a thick voice as he coughed to compose himself.

 

            "Is that the only thing bothering you?" Bill asked as if he could see right through Nick.

 

            Nick shook his head looking away from his father, "Do you ever regret anything you did as a parent?" He asked and the question took Bill off guard.

 

            He was silent for a moment before answering, "No." He said finally making Nick turn towards him, surprised, "All seven of you turned out to be intelligent, loving, witty, determined adults. I couldn't have asked for a better outcome and therefore whatever shortcomings your mother and I worried about in our parenting when you were younger no longer matter. I wouldn't change a thing." Nick nodded, "Do YOU regret anything?"

 

            Nick let out of a harsh breath and once again looked away, "Sometimes." He said slowly.

 

            "What do you regret?" Bill asked.

 

            Nick shrugged, "I know Greg and I have been good parents. I just...Sometimes I wonder...wonder what would have happened...if I'd let my children grow up with a mother and a father instead of two fathers."

 

            "I can tell you what would have happened." Bill said instantly, without hesitation. Nick looked over at him, waiting for him to continue, "You would have been miserable and that would have passed onto your children."

 

            "You think so?" Nick asked.

 

            "You seriously feel that way?" Nick's eyebrows furrowed when the question was asked not by his father...but by his son. Nick turned to find Aidan standing in the doorway of the study, a look of surprise on his face, obviously having heard at least part of the conversation.

 

            Three generations of Stokes' men stood silently for a long moment, none really knowing how to break the silence between them.

 

            "I'm...going to go check in with your mother." Bill said slowly, nodding to both Aidan and Nick before making his way out of the room; figuring Nick and Aidan would want to talk alone.

 

            Once alone, the silence stretched on for a few more minutes before Nick coughed and spoke, "How much of that did you hear?"

 

            Aidan made his way into the room and sat on the leather couch Bill had just vacated, "You honestly think the five of us would have been better off if we had a mom and dad instead of you and dad?"

 

            Nick diverted his eyes, embarrassed his son had heard him, "You guys went through a lot when you were little. As your father, all I want to do is to keep you from feeling sad and knowing that something I did caused you sadness?" He shook his head, unable to finish the thought.

 

            "You can't keep us from feeling sad all the time Dad." Aidan said truthfully, "As much as you try, and believe me I know you try a lot, we're going to get hurt and we're going to be sad sometimes. You don't get to choose who you fall in love with so you can't blame yourself for other people's stupidity towards different kinds of love. You told ME that once." Aidan smirked, "Personally I don't think any one of us suffered because we never used the word ‘Mom' growing up. Because really that's all that was missing. A word."

 

            "So you don't feel like we let you down?" Nick asked softly. He hadn't even known he'd spoken the question until he heard Aidan speak.

 

            "There was this time when I was ten," Aidan started and Nick waited for him to continue, "and there was a thunderstorm so fierce outside that one of the trees in the backyard lost like three branches." Nick nodded, actually remembering the storm. They had planted that tree three days after they had moved into their current house and were saddened by the loss, "You came into our room because Charlie was crying. I remember pretending to be asleep. I didn't want Charlie, or you, to know just how scared of the storm I was." He shook his head and laughed softly to himself, "After you finished calming Charlie down I figured you were going to leave the room but I felt the edge of my bed dip. You just...put your hand on my back and I relaxed almost instantly." He looked at Nick with wonder in his eyes, "Like you just KNEW I had been scared and needed to know that you were there to keep me safe."

 

Nick didn't actually remember the specific moment, but he did remember that the simple action of laying a hand on the back's of his children as they slept was something he had done almost habitually since they were born; a way to almost reassure himself that they were still there. He found it incredible how Aidan got something totally different from the move that Nick hadn't even know any of the kids knew about.

 

"I don't know why I remember that specific moment...but I think it's because it was that moment when I was able to fully appreciate how completely there for me you...and Dad were and are. It doesn't scare me to think about being alone here without you guys because I know you're always just a phone call or a plane ride away." Aidan paused to take a deep breath, "Does that sound like someone who was let down by his parents?"

 

Nick let out a watery chuckle and shook his head, "I guess we did a pretty good job didn't we?" He asked and Aidan chuckled.

 

"Yeah. Yeah you did." Aidan said getting up and moving to hug his father.

 

"Come on let's get back to the party." Nick said pulling Aidan by the shoulder, "Did you come by for a reason?" Nick asked realizing Aidan hadn't said why he was there in the first place.

 

"It can wait until later." Aidan shrugged and Nick nodded, "Though before I forget, and while I have you here, did you know that Dad had a green duck when he was little that he carried around everywhere named Maury?" He asked.

 

"You know I didn't know that, but considering your Dad used to make bombs when he little? Not much surprises me anymore." Nick said even though he made note to tease Greg about Maury at some point.

 

"Dad used to make bombs?" Aidan asked surprised. Nick nodded, "He had a...colourful childhood didn't he?" He hadn't meant it to be overly funny but when Nick stopped and almost doubled over with laughter, Aidan couldn't help but find the comment funny as well.

 

As Nick calmed down he let out a breathy sigh, "You don't know the half of it." He said simply as the two continued their way outside.

 

-- -- --

 

            "Hey Nicky." Nick smiled as he sidled up next to his sister Joelle and his brother in law, Thomas.

 

            "Having fun?" Nick asked and both Thomas and Joelle nodded, "Oh, Tom are you aware of the man, and I use the term literally, you're daughter is dating?" Nick asked looking across the backyard to Ty who was talking to Rebecca.

 

            Thomas laughed as he shook his head, "As far as boyfriends go, Ty could be a lot worse. It hard to see your little girl with any one though, but you can't really tell her she can't date."

 

            "I plan to do that when Angelica and Isabelle get old enough." Nick said determined and Thomas laughed again.

 

            "Just you wait." Was all he said.

 

            The small group fell into a comfortable silence; there wasn't much to say but that didn't seem to matter. The silence was broken when Charlie came upon the group, "Dad, can I have twenty bucks?"

 

            Nick cocked an eyebrow, "For what?"

 

            Charlie shrugged, scratching the back of his neck, "Uncle Will is starting a poker game at one of the tables."

 

            "And it's a twenty dollar buy in." Nick said disbelievingly and watched Charlie redden in the face. He knew his son to well, "How much is it really?"

 

            Charlie sighed, "Two dollars."

 

            Nick just shook his head with a smirk, "I don't have any cash on me. You'll have to ask Dad." He said pointing his glass in Greg's direction.

 

            Charlie shook his head, "I already did. He told me to ask you."

 

            Nick laughed, "Then it would look like you're out of luck."

 

            "I'll spot you the two dollars." Joelle offered already looking inside her purse.

 

            "You don't have to do that Jo." Nick said as he watched Charlie's eye light up.

 

            "It's two dollars Nick. It's fine." She said producing the two dollar bills, "And I'm only doing it because he looks so charming in his suit." She said gesturing to Charlie, "You sure do clean up nice Charles." She gave a confused laugh when both Nick and Charlie winced, "What?" She asked.

 

            "Ixnay on the ArlesChay." Nick said out of the corner of his mouth.

 

            Joelle looked at Charlie with a look of shock, "You don't like your name?" She asked.

 

            Charlie shrugged, "I like Charlie...just not Charles. Makes me sound like an old fart."

 

            Joelle was about to comment when a scream sounded from somewhere in the background and the party erupted into a whirlwind of commotion; people running towards the source of the scream, crowding around it, screaming directions at each other. It all happened so fast that Nick, Joelle, Charlie and Thomas stood frozen; confused and unaware of what had happened.

 

            "Nick! Joelle!" Will's voice broke through the commotion, so reminiscent of earlier that afternoon. But unlike that afternoon, it was not a tablecloth he was asking them to help with, it was damage control.

 

            Nick knew damage control. He knew what needed to be done to minimize distress in stressful situations...He just didn't know what stressful situation he was trying to minimize, "Charlie go watch Austin and Isabelle." He said figuring he would take care of the things he was sure needed to be done.

 

            "What happened Dad?" Charlie asked, trying to crane his neck over the partygoers to see what they were all flocking around.

 

            "Charlie. Go." Nick demanded and watched as Charlie stumbled back with a bewildered expression before breaking into a jog to go find his little brother and sister. Nick would have answered his son, it was just that he didn't know what had gone wrong.

 

            "Nick, come on!" Joelle encouraged pulling Nick by the hand as they jogged towards the centre of the commotion, unaware as to what they would find. Fire? Someone hurt? Someone...worse?

 

            As they ran, Nick's eyes scanned the faces in the backyard, searching for the ones that made up his family. Only Aidan was visible after his quick scan, standing with his arms crossed near the middle of the crowd, a pained look on his face as he looked down at the cause of the upheaval.

 

            Horrifying pictures flashed through Nick's mind as he wondered what could possible greet them when he and Joelle reached the centre of the circle. Who could be hurt? Was he about to see something that would destroy his whole world? He wasn't sure he wanted to find out.

 

            He tried to catch Aidan's gaze to get an idea but his eldest child's gaze remained stubbornly fixed on the object of everyone's attention, "Oh my god." It wasn't until Joelle spoke with a gasp that Nick had realized they'd reached the centre of the circle and as Joelle turned to bury her face in Nick's chest, Nick's eyes fell on a scene he had never wanted to see.

***

            Nick was on autopilot. It wasn't how he usually worked; he always felt his emotions gave him a certain edge in cases and he would defend that position to the grave. But on that day, in that situation, if he let his emotions take over he wouldn't have been half as effective and he needed to be on top of his game. If he let his emotions drive him he would have to come to terms with the fact that it had been his father lying on that ground.

 

            He was almost surprised that he hadn't recognized his mother's agonizing scream, but there had never been cause to use such a scream when Nick was growing up and for that he was thankful. Part of him wished he would never have heard it, but now that he had he was praying he never heard it again.

 

            Nick straightened from where he was picking up a tossed chair and surveyed the backyard, quite a different scene than it had been only thirty minutes before. Guests were slowly gathering their things and sitting quietly at tables, waiting for the ambulance to leave before finding their cars and leaving as well. Nick wasn't quite sure why the ambulance hadn't left yet and was intent on finding out when he turned and ran into his mother.

 

            "Oh Nick!" She said in a high voice that didn't quite sound like her regular one, "Is everyone okay?" She asked surveying the backyard. Nick furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

 

            "Mom?" He asked, not realizing until then that his mother was shaking, "Shouldn't you be in the ambulance?" He asked softly.

 

            Jillian turned towards him with a look of shock before laughing shrilly and laying a hand on her son's shoulder, "Nick why would I be in an ambulance? I'm not hurt."

 

            "Mom." Nick said with a sigh, tilting his head sympathetically.

 

            "Don't." Jillian said softly, patting Nick's chest; looking away so she didn't have to meet his eye, "Don't Nicholas. I can't...deal with this. If I get into that ambulance I'll break down and I can't do that. I won't let myself."

 

            "Mom, Dad needs you." Nick said softly, "If something ever happened to me and Greg wasn't there when I woke up? I don't know what I would do. Dad needs you there."

 

            Nick watched as his mother's eyes filled with tears and she bit her lip to keep from letting them fall, "He had a heart attack Nicky. A HEART attack." She said in a whisper as if she didn't quite believe it.

 

            It was the words Nick was trying not to think about and there they were: floating between them and sucking all the air from around them. Nick took a deep breath, trying to steal air from the other people still at the party before speaking, "Yeah he did. So you know when he wakes up he's going to be really scared, even though he's going to try and hide it. You know Cisco." Nick noticed a small smile ghost over his mother's lips, "Come on Mom." He said sliding an arm around Jillian shoulders and leading her towards the awaiting ambulance.

 

-- -- --

 

            Charlie was pouting. He wanted to be part of the action, but instead he was stuck babysitting his little brother and sister. There was nothing fun or exciting about that. He did it all the time. Sure he'd felt all important when they came running to him asking what had gone wrong but because he had no idea what had actually occurred, that sense of importance left just as quickly as it had come.

 

            Austin and Isabelle were entertaining themselves by playing a hand slapping game while Charlie sat slumped in a chair next to them, checking his watch every few seconds hoping that the next time he looked down it would be time for him to do something OTHER than sit there doing nothing.

 

            He hadn't seen a member of his family since he'd sat down. His fathers, Aidan and Angelica all seemed to have a job to do and Charlie couldn't help but wonder that in order to be in on the action you had to have had Stokes blood in you or be married to one, because obviously Austin, Isabelle and himself weren't important enough to be given jobs.

 

            "Austin, are you okay?" Charlie glanced lazily over at his brother and sister when he heard the question, expecting to find that Austin had hit his hand on the table or slapped his hands together to hard. He wasn't expecting to find what he did.

 

Austin had gone white as a sheet and looked like it was taking great effort just to pull air into his lungs, "Charlie?" Isabelle asked panicked, looking to her older brother to fix the situation.

 

            Charlie was on his feet in a second and moved to kneel in front of Austin, catching his eye, "Austin?" He asked but while Austin's eye were facing Charlie's he wasn't actually looking at him. Charlie could tell his eyes were unfocused, to intent on trying to catch his breath.

 

            "Is Austin okay?" Isabelle asked her voice shaking.

 

            "Austin's...fine." Charlie said slowly, smiling reassuringly at his little sister even though he couldn't really believe his words. He'd been told time and time again to look for these exact symptoms in his little brother but he had always figured he would never have to see them, "Okay." He said slowly trying to figure out what to do. The only thing he could think of was to get one of his fathers... but he had no idea where they were. He would have to take Austin to them, "Hey Austin, look at me." He said and watched as Austin struggled to focus on his older brother, "Hey." He said with a smile when their eyes finally met, "I'm gonna give you that piggy back ride now okay? We're going to go find Dad." He said and Austin nodded.

 

            Charlie spun on the ground and pulled Austin's arms over his shoulders. He stood up while Austin looped his legs around Charlie's waist and laid his head on Charlie's shoulder. Charlie could feel his shoulder getting wet through his dress shirt and he couldn't tell if it was because Austin was sweating or crying.

 

            "Come on Iz. Keep an eye out for Dad." Charlie said tilting his head toward the ranch.

 

            "Which one?" Isabelle asked moving to walk next to her brothers.

 

            "Either!" Charlie answered as his eyes frantically scanned the backyard.

 

-- -- --

 

            "Ambulance just left." Nick looked up as his older brother entered the family room and nodded.

 

            "Good." He said softly, "I guess we should start getting the guests to their cars." He said decidedly, running his hands over his thighs before getting up from the couch, "Make sure they all get home safely before heading to the hospital."

 

            "Right." Will nodded but neither brother moved. They stood in silence, both with their hands on their hips and both trying to form words they knew would never be enough to encompass their thoughts, "He'll...be fine." Will said slowly.

 

            Nick turned away as he felt his eyes start to water and cursed his emotions before nodding curtly and coughing, "Yeah." He said, wiping a hand over his mouth and chin and nodding again, "Yeah." He repeated before making his way towards the back door and out onto the porch without another word.

 

            He had stepped into open air but his lungs weren't quite convinced. He felt almost on the edge of a panic attack and he hadn't had one of those in a long time. It all seemed to be too much. Why couldn't he somehow magically stop bad things from happening to himself and the people he loved? He stood still for a moment, trying to pull as much air as he could into his lungs.

 

He had almost calmed himself down, had almost convinced himself that his father would be fine, that it would take more than a heart attack to take Bill Stokes down and that God was finally done testing the strength of his spirit...when his attention was pulled towards a voice. When he turned in its direction his throat closed completely; refusing to let even the littlest amount of air through.

 

"Daddy!" Isabelle yelled, running to him and throwing her arms around him, "Daddy he's hurt. Austin's hurt."

 

Nick could see that. Could see it in the pallor of Austin's skin, in the way his face glistened with sweat, in the way his hands shook and he could see it in Charlie's eye as he carried his little brother on his back towards where Nick and Isabelle stood.

 

"Dad." Charlie's voice was strained but he didn't have to say anything more for Nick to get the picture.

 

"Put him down." Nick instructed and Charlie slowly let Austin's feet touch the ground and tentatively let go of his hold to let Austin stand on his own. Austin swayed slightly as Nick knelt in front of him. As Nick caught his son's eye he could see how terrified the eight year old was. Nick ran a hand through Austin's sweat soaked hair and down his cheek and felt Austin lean into the touch, before moving his hand to feel his son's pulse.

 

"Fuck." Nick breathed as he felt the beat race against his fingertips.

 

"Dad, you swore." Isabelle whispered.

 

Nick didn't answer, he was too busy thinking of a course of action. He could feel an extremely large panic attack creeping into his system, a colossal panic attack the likes he hadn't felt since his kidnapping, but he couldn't let himself succumb to it; the welfare of his children depended on him staying in control, "Come here." He said to Austin and looped his son's arms around his neck before lifting him into his arms. Austin was slack in his hold and Nick grunted with the effort to keep him off the ground as Austin looped his legs around Nick's waist.

 

"Charlie reach into the back pocket of my pants and grab my cell phone please." Nick instructed and Charlie scrambled to comply. Once the cell phone was free Charlie went to hand it to Nick but Nick shook his head, "I want you to call Dad and tell him to get Aidan and Angelica and meet us at the truck; if you can't get him on his cell phone call Aidan's. Then I want you to call Aunt Claire and ask her to come handle the guests in the backyard because we've gone to the hospital. Can you do that?"

 

Charlie nodded without hesitation and flipped open the phone to start frantically dialing his father's cell phone number. Nick nodded and turned to where Isabelle stood. Despite how different Isabelle and Austin could be at times they still shared that twin bond that made it impossible for one to hurt without the other one hurting as well. Nick could tell Isabelle was scared and looking for a way too not only stop her brother's hurt, but her own as well, "Hey Iz." Nick said softly and Isabelle met his eyes, her hazel ones wide and filled with tears, "I've got a special job for you." He said and Isabelle nodded. Nick bent one knee so he lowered himself slightly, which was hard to do with Austin in his arms, "Reach up and grab one of Austin's hands." When Isabelle hesitated Nick nodded encouragingly, "Come on, reach up and hold tightly to one." He said and watched as Isabelle took her twin's right hand in hers and as Nick straightened again she kept a firm grip, "Okay let's go." He said to Charlie who was still on the phone and the four started to make their way around the ranch to their rental truck.

 

"Dad is this helping?" Isabelle asked as she looked quizzically at the hand she had clasped in her own.

 

Nick had actually felt Austin's body relax slightly and Isabelle didn't look quite as frantic as she had before. It was almost like just the simple fact of physically knowing the other was there was enough to ease both of their pain, "Yeah Iz. I think it's helping a lot." He whispered, wishing with everything he had that a simple connection would magically be enough to stop what he knew was happening.

 

-- -- --

 

            It wasn't supposed to happen to him. He'd made a deal with God, something he didn't do very often so God must have known it was important, and it wasn't supposed to happen. And as Greg stood leaning against the hospital's white walls, staring blankly at a speck of dirt on the floor, he couldn't help but think once again that the whole God thing was extremely overrated. If God really existed he wouldn't be standing where he was. If God really answered prayers Greg would be packing to head home instead of figuring out how much more vacation time he had saved up that had originally been book marked for later in the year. If God really existed Greg wouldn't be standing in a limbo between his son and his father in law debating the existence of God.

 

            Greg pushed himself off the wall and moved across the hall to push against the door to room 322, knocking softly as the door gave under his weight. He watched as Bill Stokes' eyes fluttered open and swallowed forcefully before turning to view his visitor.

 

            "Greg." His voice was harsh and not at all as strong and commanding as it usually was, just something to add to the description of the bizarre twilight zone Greg was finding himself in.

 

            "Hey." Greg whispered making his way further into the room, "How are you feeling?"

 

            "Well, according to the doctor's I could have been feeling a lot worse." Bill whispered.

 

            Greg nodded, "Well Jillian says you should make a full recovery. So that's good." Bill had suffered a heart attack but on the intensity scale it was fairly low. The doctor's had said it was more of a warning sign than anything else, his bodies way of scaring Bill into changing his lifestyle enough to avoid something worse. Greg had a feeling no one wanted to find out what a more intense heart attack looked like.

 

            "Greg I know my prognosis." Bill admonished, "What I really want to know is how is my grandson?"

 

            Greg diverted his eyes, "They told me its not good to upset you." He whispered.

 

            "Not knowing is doing more harm than knowing ever could. Trust me." Bill said softly.

 

            "Tell me about it." Greg sighed.

 

            Bill's eyebrows furrowed, "You don't know anything?" He asked.

 

            "They're still running tests. So we don't know anything definitively. But," Greg stopped and shook his head, "they always told us that we were in the green as long as we didn't see any of the symptoms. Because seeing even one symptom of rejection may mean disaster. Well we got a little more than one today." Greg finished.

 

            "I think we just have to have faith that this is just a warning sign. Like me, its just something that will make everyone watch a little more closely should something worse ever happen." Bill suggested.

 

            Greg nodded but he furrowed his brows when he realized it was the first time since he'd met the man that he didn't believe something his father in law had said. Because Greg had seen what having faith got him and was more than done with it.

 

-- -- --

 

            "Mr. Stokes? Mr. Sanders?" A young doctor with a thick Texan accent asked coming into the waiting room several hours later.

 

            "That's us." Nick said as he and Greg got up.

 

            "I'm Dr. Lowrey. I was assigned to your son's case when he was brought in." The doctor said extending his hand to both Nick and Greg who nodded their greeting. The doctor sighed slowly and it was at that moment that Nick and Greg knew they weren't about to get good news, "Gentlemen I'm sorry to tell you that Austin is experiencing fairly advanced cardiac allograft vasculopathy; which basically means he's in the advanced phases of organ rejection."

 

            The words hung between the trio as if not really being comprehended by the couple who had just heard them.

 

            "What," Greg couldn't even formulate his question and swallowed several times to get his voice to work, "What happens now?"

 

            "How do we fix this?" Nick asked.

 

            Again Dr. Lowrey sighed, "We've got Austin stabilized at the moment but the short answer to your question is that if we don't get Austin a new heart relatively soon? The one he has now will no longer be viable."

 

***

            Greg slowly pushed open the door to Austin's hospital room, a stark contrast to Bill's. Austin was in the pediatric ward, which meant the walls were colourful and had cartoon creatures on them: supposedly to cheer up the sick children. Greg remembered a time when Austin was five and they had gone in for the yearly follow up appointment required for all transplant patients. Austin had stated quite frankly while sitting on Greg's lap, that he didn't like the cartoons on the wall. Why would they show cartoons being happy when he wasn't? Greg had wondered if all kids who had to spend time in these rooms felt the same way.

 

            Austin appeared to be asleep as Greg entered the room and if it weren't for the hospital gown and stark white sheets Greg would have thought he'd just walked into Austin's bedroom in the middle of the night. Nothing about Austin appeared to be amiss. His colour had returned and he was breathing with ease as he slept. It had happened when Austin had been three as well and it was the hardest part for Greg to handle; the gradual decent into sickness. Besides being slightly lethargic, Austin would appear fine until one day he would get a little worse and the next day he'd get slightly sicker and it would continue like that until his heart completely stopped doing its job. Greg hoped, like the last time, they would find a new heart before that happened.

 

            "Dad?" Greg hadn't even realized he'd zoned out until he heard Austin whisper from the bed.

 

            Greg smiled and made his way over, laying a hand on his son's shoulder, "Hey buddy." He said, "Sleep well?"

 

            Austin nodded, struggling to sit up a little bit. Greg leaned over to help, fixing the pillow behind Austin's head, "When can we go home?" Austin asked softly.

 

            Greg's eyes pinched and he grimaced. How could he tell an eight year old who felt fine, that he actually wasn't fine at all, "Not for a while Austin." He said.

 

            "Why?" Austin asked with a small voice.

 

            Greg sighed and hitched a hip to sit on the bed next to Austin's legs, trying to formulate a response, "Do you remember when Dad and I told you that the check ups you go to every year and the pills you take every day were going to help to make sure your new heart keeps working right? But that because it's a new heart your body may not like it and want to get rid of it?" Austin nodded but remained silent, "Well you weren't feeling well this afternoon because you're body isn't liking the heart and is trying to get rid of it."

 

            "So we just have to make it like it again?" Austin asked confused.

 

            Again Greg grimaced, "I wish it were that simple Aust I really do." He sighed running a hand over Austin's, "But unfortunately once your body stops liking the heart we can't make it like it again. We're going to have to get a new one." As soon as he said it, he wished he hadn't and looked away embarrassed. It sounded like a new heart was something they could go to the store to get, when he knew getting a new heart was one of the hardest things to do...sometimes it was impossible.

 

            "But I feel fine now." Austin whispered and Greg could tell without even looking that the eight year old was crying, or about too.

 

            Greg bit his bottom lip and diverted his eyes to look out the window. He couldn't afford to cry in front of Austin and he knew if he saw the little boy in tears, Greg's wouldn't be far behind, "I know you do bud, but that's because the hospital is giving you medication to make you feel better. But we're going to have to wait to find a new heart before we can go home."

 

            "But I don't want to stay." Austin's voice felt like a physical stab to Greg. If the eight year old hadn't been crying before he was now and Greg could feel his resolve slipping.

 

            "And I don't want you to stay either." Greg answered, his voice rough with unshed tears, "Dad and I want you home just as much as you want to be home, maybe even more. But we all have to be strong and get through this." Greg stopped himself before he could say that they would be home before Austin knew it. He didn't like to lie to his children and the fact that telling Austin he would be fine was a potential lie, made the tears Greg had been holding back slide down his cheeks.

 

            "Daddy you're crying." Austin whispered.

 

            Greg nodded, not trusting his voice. So instead of speaking he reached to pull Austin into a hug, which his son returned, "So can we promise each other to be strong?"

 

            "Like Uncle Brass?" Despite his tears and the situation, or maybe because of them, Greg felt himself laugh at Austin's question. Austin had always been amazed by just how tough Jim Brass could be, even though he was a pussycat around the kids. Whenever Austin would play superheroes with his friends he was also the strong super cop Jim Brass.

 

            "Yeah. Just like Uncle Brass." Greg nodded.

 

-- -- --

 

            Nick was reading in the ranch's den but he would be surprised if he retained even a word of the book in his lap. The TV was on in background, Isabelle sitting to his right and even though it was almost midnight Nick didn't have the heart to make her go to bed. She'd been in a bad mood ever since Nick and Greg had told her she wouldn't be able to see her brother and grandfather until the following day and Nick wasn't to proud to say he was letting her stay up late out of guilt.

 

            Nick glanced at the clock under the television for the millionth time since Greg had left to tell Austin what was going on. Nick would have liked to be there but he knew he wouldn't have been able to keep it together. Austin would be scared enough without one of his father's crying at his bedside and both Nick and Greg knew Greg could control his emotions a lot better than Nick; besides one of them needed to take care of the other four kids.

 

            Canned laughter sounded from the television, snapping Nick from his thoughts and he looked to his right to find Isabelle asleep, curled into a ball against the armrest. Nick closed his book and set it on the coffee table before reaching to turn off the television. With the absence of the TV chatter, the ranch seemed unnaturally quiet. Will and his family had gone home to their own house but even with them gone there were a fair number of people in the ranch. So why, when Nick got up to pick up Isabelle to bring her to bed, did it feel like they were only two in the house?

 

            Isabelle groaned when Nick pulled her into his arms, squinting at her father with an accusatory look, "What are you doing?" She asked, her voice thick with sleep.

 

            "Taking you to bed." Nick answered.

 

            "But I don't want to go to bed." She said stubbornly, even though everything about her body language said differently.

 

            "You have to go to bed." Nick said simply as he made his way to the room Isabelle was staying in. It was a statement that was normally met with protest. No matter how tired Isabelle was, if told she had to go to bed she would try anything and everything to not have to. That night however, Nick's statement was only met with a whispered question.

 

            "Can we go see Austin and Grandpa tomorrow?" She asked.

 

            "Yeah we can." Nick whispered and it seemed to appease Isabelle who relaxed against him; her warm breath wafting heavily over his neck let Nick know she had fallen back to sleep.

 

            It felt odd to only have Isabelle to put to bed. Austin and Isabelle had the same bedtime and Nick had no idea how comfortable he'd gotten into the routine of getting them ready for bed and tucking them in. Maybe because they were his last children, but Nick wanted to hold onto their childhood as long as possible and was not looking forward to the day when they went to bed completely on their own.

 

            He settled Isabelle on the bed, running a hand along her hairline before sliding the blanket up to her chest and kissing her forehead. With a heavy sigh he crept from the room and closed the door behind him.

 

            "Finally in bed?" Nick jumped slightly at the voice and turned to find his mother in her bedroom doorway, removing her glasses and closing the book she had in her hand.

 

            Nick nodded, "Good. She needs her sleep." Jillian commented softly.

 

            "You know Mom I was thinking." Nick sighed, "With everything that's happened, Aidan doesn't have to stay here for the school year. We can find him housing or work something out. I know you're going to have a lot to worry about when Cisco gets home."

 

            Jillian's eyebrows furrowed, "Nonsense Nick." She scolded, "Aidan is staying right here. I couldn't imagine it any other way. He's my grandson."

 

            "Are you sure?" Nick asked softly.

 

            Jillian scoffed and held out her arms, gesturing for Nick to walk into them. Nick smiled shyly and moved to hug his mother, burying his face into the crook of her neck like he did when he was little, as she stroked his hair, "You and Greg have too much to worry about right now to worry about whether or not Aidan has a place to stay for the school year. Your Dad, especially, will love to have Aidan around. He always says just how much like you Aidan is." Nick smiled before taking a deep breathe, "Nick, all of you have a place to stay for as long as you need it. You know that. That's what parents are for. I just wish you were staying under better circumstances."

 

            The pair heard the front door open and close, signaling Greg's return and Nick begrudgingly untangled himself from his mother's grip. At that point in time Nick didn't want to be the adult, he wanted to be the kid and have his mom take care of everything, "We wish we were too Mom." He sighed, kissing her on the head. She smiled and pushed him gently down the hall before once again entering her bedroom.

 

            Greg was staring at his shoes when Nick entered the front hallway and didn't even look up even though, in the quiet of the house, he couldn't help but have heard Nick enter the room.

 

            "Greg?" Nick whispered.

 

            At first it didn't seem like Greg had heard him, he just continued to stare at his shoes lined up perfectly with the other shoes in the hallway. After a moment though, Greg shook his head, fell to lean against the wall and slide down until he was sitting, "I can't do this again." He whispered and Nick wasn't sure if he was talking to Nick or no one, "I'm not equipped to do this again. Actually physically unequipped to go through this for the second time." He shook his head again and looked up at Nick, acknowledging him for the first time, "I don't think WE'RE equipped to do this."

 

            Nick was quiet for a moment, just staring at his husband and trying to formulate a response that he knew Greg wanted. He knew Greg wasn't asking if he and Nick could get through the next couple of months, he was asking if their relationship could. He had several options in front of him. He could walk over to Greg, sit down next to him, pull him into a tight hug and tell him everything would be okay. He could walk over to Greg, sit down next to him, pull him into a tight hug and tell him maybe they WEREN'T equipped to handle the situation or he could say nothing and walk away, "Maybe you're right." He whispered softly, before slowly making his way down the hall to their bedroom, leaving Greg behind in the front hall.

 

            Was that what he had wanted to do and say? As Nick lay down in the bed, without even bothering to get undressed, he wasn't sure it hadn't been.

 

-- -- --

 

            "You know, I was going to wear that outfit but it was wrinkled so I decided against it." Aidan said as he, Isabelle, Charlie and Angelica walked into Austin's hospital room the next day, "Now I'm glad I didn't wear it." He laughed reaching his knuckles out that Austin knocked with his own knuckles and smiled softly at the joke.

 

            "Hi guys." Austin said softly, scratching his hairline and shifting his legs as if not knowing how to act in that type of situation.

 

            "All right here's what we're going to do." Aidan said definitively after several moments of silence. He pulled a chair from the corner of the room and set it next to Austin's bed, snapping at Charlie to get the other two chairs from the other side. Charlie did so, even though he shot Aidan a confused look. Aidan settled himself into one of the chairs and pulled Isabelle onto his lap, as Angelica and Charlie took the other two chairs; everyone but Aidan waiting for further instruction, "Okay, first of all, we're not going to talk about what's going on. That's a non-topic." Aidan looked around to find his brothers and sisters nodding, "And second of all," He said reaching to grab the remote control on Austin's bedside table, "We're going to find some random TV show, turn it on mute and come up with our own characters and storylines. Cause let's face it, hospitals get the WORST TV channels."

 

            "Yeah!" Isabelle cheered and Aidan could see smiles break out on Angelica, Charlie and most importantly Austin's faces. Nodding to himself he turned the TV on and listened while his siblings debated over which show would be the best to dub over.

 

-- -- --

 

            "So we can't take him home to Nevada." Greg stated as he and Nick stood talking to Austin's doctor.

 

            "Gentlemen I don't think you understand just what kind of situation we're in here. When I said Austin needed a new heart soon I meant within weeks, not months. I cannot in good conscious let Austin walk down a hallway, much less put his body under the stress of a plane ride." Dr. Lowrey sighed. He very rarely treated patients from out of state, but the odd time he did, the idea the patient couldn't go home was one of the hardest for families to grasp.

 

            "He's on the donor list?" Nick asked.

 

            "As of this morning." Dr. Lowrey nodded, "We'll do everything we can to keep Austin as healthy as we can for as long as we can. And I know you heard this last time around but because Austin's blood type is on the rare side, finding a new heart can go one of two ways. Because its rare, the list is short, so finding Austin a heart within weeks isn't totally out of the question. But on the other hand because it's rare, finding donors with that blood type can be very difficult." Dr. Lowrey watched Nick and Greg nod, "I'll keep you updated on Austin's place on the list."

 

            "Thank you." Greg nodded and both he and Nick shook Dr. Lowrey's hand before leaving his office and walking down the hospital corridor towards Austin's room.

 

            The silence stretched between them and the tension was obvious, neither having said a word about what had happened or not happened between them the night before, "Well I've got 12 days saved up." Greg said formally.

 

            Nick nodded, "I've got 8 and a half."

 

            "What happened to the other ha..."

 

            "Austin's last doctors appointment." Nick interrupted before Greg could finish. Nick couldn't help but think that the last doctor's appointment Austin had was a waste of time. Had the appointment been even just a month later they may have been able to catch the rejection before it got too extreme.

 

            Greg broke into Nick's thoughts, "Charlie's got to get back to summer school. Finish the course."

 

            "One of us will have to go back then." Nick agreed.

 

            "Angelica and Isabelle aren't going to want to go back home now." Greg concluded.

 

            "Well its summer. They don't have too." Greg nodded and the two fell silent once more as they continued towards Austin's room.

 

            "I'm uhhh, going to visit Cisco." Nick said suddenly and Greg nodded once again before Nick changed paths and headed for the elevator.

 

            Greg bit his lip as he watched Nick stalk away. They were stressed. They were stressed, tired, scared, nervous and a hundred other emotions Greg couldn't even name. Their stilted conversation meant nothing. Just a manifestation of their jumbled emotions. But then why did it feel so akin to 5 years before?

 

            Greg stopped outsides Austin's room when he heard laughing from within. He peaked through the small window in the door to find his five children watching the television, laughing at something Greg didn't need to understand. It was good to see Austin in good spirits; finding ways to do that would be key to keeping him healthier longer. They were in for a long uncertain wait and that was one of the many things Greg hated. The waiting.

***

"This was a stupid idea."

"What was?" Nick asked, pouring himself some coffee and popping a pastry into his mouth. He took a moment to lament the loss of the Blue Hawaiian he loved so much, but shook his head to stop from thinking about it.

"Coming home." Angelica answered as she sat at the kitchen table picking at her lunch.

"You could have stayed with Dad." Nick answered with a sigh; he didn't have time for this, he was late.

"We ALL could have stayed with Dad." Angelica answered pointedly.

"So we could all sit around and wait and I could get fired from my job." Nick muttered under his breath. He wasn't usually like that. He knew he was acting slightly out of character, but stress can do that to a person and Nick had been under a LOT of stress.

"What?" Angelica asked.

Nick shook his head and sighed, "Nothing. I've got to go to work. Do you have training tonight?" Angelica nodded, "Can you call Aunt Catherine to take you to the gym? I won't be home in time."

"I already did." Angelica whispered.

Nick nodded, "Good. Charlie should be home any minute, can you get him to call my cell phone when he does?" Angelica again nodded. Nick nodded too and walked over to kiss his daughter on the head, "Thanks Jellie. Be good." He whispered before making his way to the front hallway and sliding on his shoes. The phone rang as he was sliding on his jacket and he heard a kitchen chair scrap against the floor and Angelica answering the phone a moment later.

Nick's hand was on the doorknob when Angelica called from the kitchen, "Dad! Phone!"

Nick sighed, "Take a message!" He called.

"It's Daddy!" Was called back and Nick sighed roughly, taking a moment to decide before removing his hand from the front doorknob and turning back, jogging towards the kitchen.

He grabbed the phone from Angelica and put a hand on her head as he brought the receiver to his ear, "Greggo." He whispered.

"Hey Nicky." Greg whispered back.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked.

Greg sighed roughly over the phone, "Nothing, I just...needed to talk to you."

Nick closed his eyes and leaned against the kitchen door jam. He needed to talk to Greg too, but he also needed to get to work, "I wish I could talk, baby, but I'm late for work."

He heard Greg sigh heavily over the phone. Nick would have given anything at that moment to curl under the covers, the phone next to his ear and just talk to Greg for hours, forget about the world and forget about whatever mess he was inevitably going to find at work. But Nick knew he couldn't and he knew Greg knew it too, "Will you call me on break?" Greg asked softly.

"You know I will. Say hi to every one and tell Austin I love him." Nick whispered.

"I will. Bye." Greg whispered back before hanging up the phone.

Nick hung up the phone and kept his hand on the receiver, regretting having to say goodbye, "Did something happen with Austin?" Angelica asked from the table, jolting Nick from his thoughts.

Nick shook his head, "Naw. Still holding strong."

Angelica smiled, "Good." She said with a nod before going back to her lunch.

"Good." Nick agreed.

-- -- --

Greg snapped his phone shut with a heavy sigh and brought it to rest against his lip. He had regretted the decision that Nick would go back to Vegas until news surfaced ever since his husband had left 6 days and 4 hours before. Greg rationally knew it was the right thing to do. Charlie needed to finish summer school and Nick couldn't afford to take a leave of absence considering he was the only supervisor the night shift had.

Greg hated to admit it but he had a feeling the separation was doing more good for his and Nick's relationship than it was bad. Instead of taking their frustrations out on each other like they had the first time, they were missing each other and cherished the moments they got to talk.

Beyond all that, it wasn't necessary to have every member of the family there. After all, the family was doing no more than waiting anyway, nothing more could happen until they found Austin a heart...or didn't, but Greg shook his head to rid his mind of those thoughts.

He turned to his right to watch his sleeping son. Austin spent more and more of his days asleep, which was common in his state. Greg had just hoped Austin would have remained relatively healthy for longer than he had. According to the doctors he wasn't critical but it would only take a matter of weeks or even days before he was.

Greg stretched his back in the plastic chair he was sitting in and didn't realize just how long he'd been sitting still until almost every bone in his back cracked painfully. He figured since Austin was asleep it wouldn't hurt to wander the halls for a while.

He leaned forward and brushed the hair from Austin forehead before placing a kiss on the skin underneath. Austin's eyes fluttered open at the touch but when Greg looked into them he could tell they didn't want to stay open, "I'll be back okay buddy? I'm just going to stretch my legs." He whispered.

Austin's tongue swept across his dry lips to wet them before whispering, "Kay," almost to low for Greg to hear and then closing his eyes again. The corner's of Greg's eyes pinched, wondering for probably the millionth time, if he was ever going to get to the see the vibrant eight year old that had been around only a week before.

Greg made his way out of the room and walked slowly down the hall, nodding towards Elena, a nice nurse whom Greg had seen every day for the past week. When Austin was asleep Greg would talk to Elena as she worked. She had a daughter Charlie's age and a son a year younger than Angelica.

Greg slid a quarter into the slot of the coffee machine down the hall from Austin's room and watched as brown sludge that passed itself off as coffee plopped its way into the awaiting small paper cup. He would have given anything for some Blue Hawaiian at the moment, the coffee he loved so much.

Walking further down the hall Greg noticed an episode of American Justice playing on the waiting room television and figured it couldn't hurt to zone out in front of the television for a while. He slid into one of the plush chairs and slumped down slightly. He was alone save for a man probably around the same age as himself, sitting with his head in his hands. Greg had spent enough time in waiting rooms to know you didn't generally interact with the other people in them. It was understood you were all there for the same general reason but that communication was not necessary.

So when the man next to him lifted his head and started to talk, Greg was caught off guard, "I've got a daughter in OR 1." He said simply and Greg wasn't sure he was even talking to him until the man turned his way.

Greg flustered for a moment before saying, simply, "Son in room 422, Father in law in room 531." They exchanged this information as though they were exchanging names and Greg figured that was how it was in waiting rooms. You were defined first not by name, but by the people you were waiting for.

The man sighed roughly, "Two eh?" He said and Greg nodded. The man shook his head with another sigh, "Anyone critical? If you don't mind me asking." He said apologetically.

Greg shrugged, "My father in law had a minor heart attack, he's actually getting discharged today. And my son is waiting for a heart transplant," He nodded, "He could become critical at any moment." The man nodded sympathetically but remained silent, "How about you?"

Greg watched as the man's eyes filled with tears, "We were going through a stop light on the green and a guy with the red fell asleep at the wheel. Hit the back passenger side, where my daughter was sitting. They still haven't told us anything." He finished, wringing his hands together.

"I'm sorry." Greg whispered.

"Thanks." The man nodded, before falling into a silence.

"Daddy?" Greg turned to find Isabelle standing at the edge of the waiting room carpet. Greg could see out of the corner of his eye the waiting man look up in surprise, almost as if he'd been expecting his daughter to be the one to call for him.

"What's up Iz?" Greg asked gesturing her closer. Isabelle moved to stand between Greg's legs leaning against him.

"Can I go back to the ranch with Grandma and Grandpa?" She asked and Greg looked back over to where Isabelle had come from to find Jillian standing there waiting.

"Of course you can." Greg answered and Isabelle smiled.

"Thanks Daddy." She said kissing his cheek before making her way to Jillian. Jillian smiled in Greg's direction before directing her granddaughter down the hall.

"How do you do it?" Greg had all but forgotten he wasn't alone. He turned back to the man next to him with a confused look on his face.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Keep your kid from hating you?" The man asked with a slight astonished chuckle. Even though he knew it happened, Greg was surprised every time he witnessed laughter in someone going through real disaster.

Greg smiled, "Who's to say she doesn't sometimes?"

The man chuckled with a nod, "My eldest is eleven and she NEVER acts like that towards me." Greg shrugged, not knowing what to say; hoping the man's statement wasn't entirely true. Silence fell between them and for the first time in a waiting room Greg felt bad for not keeping up a conversation, "Well I should be going back downstairs incase they tell us anything. I came up because it's calmer up here. I was going crazy waiting downstairs."

Greg nodded. He hated the fast paced stress world of the emergency room, however in a way he envied the man sitting next to him and all those people waiting in the place that man didn't want to return to. The emergency room may be frantic but things were getting done. It's the productive frantic that meant those waiting in the emergency room won't have to wait long to hear news either good or bad. The forth floor, where Greg had lived for almost a week, was calm because nothing was really being done. People on the forth floor were actually waiting.

"Good luck with your son." The man attempted a smile towards his waiting room comrade.

"Good luck with your daughter." Greg answered and with that the man was gone, back to the world of the frantic production, leaving Greg in the calm torture.

-- -- --

Nick's fingers itched as he sat at his desk; continually flexing his fingers over his cell phone, wanting nothing more than to pick it up and dial. He was on break, or whatever constituted as his break. He'd sat down fifteen minutes before to start his half hour break and had been interrupted three times already by the members of his team wanting help.

A good majority of the graveyard shift was new to the lab, new to the job. Those who had seniority in the department took the most desired shifts, leaving the newbies with graveyard. Which left Nick with a handful of green criminologists who couldn't go fifteen minutes without running something by him. Granted most of the time he loved his job, he loved being the one people came to when the needed advice, he enjoyed being able to give them such guidance. But when all he wanted to do was appoint an acting supervisor so he could be with his husband and kids? Nick was left with no one qualified to take the job. He had been looking at some of the members of his team but while some were better than others as CSIs, none were strong enough to take over supervising, even if only for a week or two.

Nick eyed the door that hadn't opened in at least three minutes and hoped the questions had stopped long enough so he could call Greg, like he promised to; like he NEEDED to. His hand hovered over the cell phone and he kept an eye on the door as he picked it up and flicked it open. He had the first three numbers dialed before there was a soft knock on his office door. Nick groaned softly, "Come in." He called, putting the cell phone back on his desk.

Tahlia Reynolds pocked her blonde head into the room and smiled like she didn't already know that Nick was married...and gay. Which of course she did, "Sorry to bother you Nick." She said sweetly.

"What can I do for you Tahlia?" Nick asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"I was wondering if you could look at some evidence I've got." Nick beckoned her forward and took the vanilla folder from her hands, sighing as he glanced over the evidence. He knew right away what he was looking at, the point was that Tahlia needed to know it too.

"What do you think this says?" Nick asked gesturing to the file.

Tahlia shrugged, "I say it was suicide."

"Why?" Nick pressed.

Tahlia furrowed her eyebrows, "Because there was gun shot residue around the wound suggesting close range, there was a sedative in his system to take the edge off and the bullet trajectory suggests suicide." She riddled off.

Nick nodded and also furrowed his brow, "If this was suicide were else would there be gun shot residue?" He asked.

Tahlia paused to think, a little too long for the relative simplicity of the question. Nick sighed, stuck a hand in the air and wiggled his fingers. Tahlia understood, "His hand!" She exclaimed.

"You're most likely looking at a murder made to look like a suicide. Have you recovered the weapon?" Nick asked.

"Not yet." Tahlia whispered.

"Well I suggest you do." Nick nodded, handing the folder back to her. Tahlia nodded with a smile and got up to leave, "Oh and Tahlia?" She turned back with a raise of her eyebrows, "Be sure to check the fireplace for the gun. Just in case." Nick smiled remembering a case long ago that had made him unbelievably proud of Greg. Tahlia smiled as if she didn't quite know what he was getting at, but nodded before leaving the room.

Alone once again, Nick pondered calling his husband. He only had about ten minutes left in his ‘break' but anything was better than nothing. As he reached for his cell phone he was surprised to watch it come to life before he touched it, suggesting someone had called him and not the other way around. Hoping it was Greg; Nick pulled his phone to his ear without checking the caller ID, "Stokes."

"Nick I need a hand with something." It was Bill Reager, one of the most needy members of his team. Nick wasn't going to get to call Greg until after work.

"I'll be there in five minutes." Nick answered before clapping his phone shut. He sighed as he looked at a picture of Greg and the kids that sat at the corner of his desk. He ran his thumb over Greg's smiling face, "Sorry baby. I tried." He whispered before getting up, grabbing his coat and heading out of his office.

-- -- --

"So Aidan's entire ice cream cone fell on Charlie's head?"

Greg smiled and held up two fingers, "Both scopes. And he tried to blame it on the clown walking past."

When Greg had gotten back to Austin's hospital room, Austin was awake and seemed to be in good spirits so Greg had been telling him stories about his brothers and sisters.

Austin smiled softly before he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "Getting tired bud?" Greg asked.

Austin shook his head, "Tell me another story." He asked.

Greg thought for a second, trying to think of the perfect story, knowing that Austin would most likely be asleep before he could tell another one, "Did I ever tell you the story of Isabelle and your first dentist appointment?" Austin shook his head. Greg smiled remembering the story; "Well your Dad and I thought it would be best if you two went together, to sort of make each other feel better. So we got you all ready and took you to the dentist office only to have you absolutely refuse to sit in the chair; not that that has changed any as you've gotten older." Greg eyed Austin with a smirk and Austin shrugged sheepishly.

"But anyway, Dad and I had a plan just in case you refused because we figured you would be the hardest to win over. The plan consisted of bribing you with toys. Not the most creative plan ever, but it worked." Greg smiled as Austin chuckled softly, "So there you are sitting in the chair, ready to go and the dentist turns to Isabelle and asks her in his big booming voice if she was ready to join her brother? And she threw up." Greg's eyes lit up as Austin's soft chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh. Greg hoped the story would get that reaction. Like any eight-year-old boy Austin loved stories about throwing up or any other gross bodily function. It felt good to hear his little boy laugh. There was a lightness in the room that had been missing the entire week.

"Hey Dad can I have some more of those crackers?" Austin asked. Greg furrowed his brow, unaware of what his son was asking but then it hit him. Greg had smuggled Austin some Ritz crackers from the vending machine a few days earlier. He had felt bad that all Austin had to eat was hospital food.

"I don't know Aust. That was a one-time thing. I can get in a lot of trouble for that." Greg sighed.

"Please Dad?" Austin asked giving his father the puppy dogface.

Greg chuckled. How could he deny his son when Austin was more upbeat than he had been in days? "Oh all right, you mongrel." He chuckled getting up walking from the room.

He made his way to the vending machine at the end of the hallway, digging in his pocket for some change. He was about to drop a quarter into the slot when he realized there were no Ritz crackers left; all that was left in their place was the silver metal coil.

"Hey Elena? Is there another vending machine on this floor?" Greg asked turning towards the nurses' station.

Elena looked up from her work and shook her head, "Sorry Greg you'll have to go downstairs to the emergency room."

"Thanks." Greg nodded before making his way to the stairwell.

When he reached the emergency room floor it was quieter than he ever remembered it being but he was thankful for that as he made his way to the vending machine across the waiting room. He sighed as he slid his quarters into the slot and punched E7 in order to start the mechanical whirl that would produce the Ritz crackers. He shifted on his feet as he waited for the coil to spin, looking around at the few people that filled the waiting room. His eyes fell on two figures huddled near the sliding doors leading out of the emergency room; one was a pregnant woman, probably almost ready to give birth while the other was the man Greg had spoken to only an hour or so before in the fourth floor waiting room.

Greg watched as the woman pushed away from the man, almost roughly and for the first time Greg could see tears in both of their eyes, "If you hadn't of forgotten your briefcase she would still be alive!" The woman wailed before waddling as fast as she could out of the emergency room doors. Greg wasn't entirely sure of the details of the fight, but he got the gist and his heart went out to the couple.

The man watched her go before turning his eyes to meet Greg's, almost like he had sensed Greg's eyes on him. Greg blushed, realizing he had been staring, but couldn't look away. The man across the waiting room seemed lost for a moment before nodding towards Greg and walking out of the door after his wife. Greg felt his chest tighten as he bent to pick up the Ritz crackers that had long since dropped from the machine, realizing that the only things separating Greg from his waiting room companion were three floors and very little time.

***

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