Title: Be Thankful
Author: carinascott
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Genre: Slash
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Warrick Brown/ Gil Grissom
Spoilers: All seasons to be on the safe side
Warnings: none
Story Notes: I don’t really know the layout of the lab, so my brief little mention of it may not fit canon. But it works for the story, and that’s what matters *grins*
Author’s notes: I know this fic is a little angsty, but it served as an outlet for me. This holiday season is hard for me due to the loss of two loved ones, very close to me this year. So, I was feeling a little emotional and pissed today thinking about spending the holidays without them, and I began writing this at work. If you like it that’s great, if you don’t, that’s great too. All I know is that I feel better, and I wanted to share the results of my mood with you all.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

~*~

It gets easier with time.
The pain doesn’t last forever.
They wouldn’t want you to be upset.

I know people say these things out of love. But most of the time it is cold comfort, and I wish they would just shut the fuck up. I really don’t want to hear it when I feel the way I do. It only serves to piss me off.

Take Catherine for example. Here I am, sitting alone in the break room sipping on some hot chocolate, obviously not wanting to be bothered. But seems she missed the ‘Don’t fuck with me’ sign that I swear is flashing in neon lights above my head, because she walks right up to the table and takes a seat. I try to ignore her, staring into the brown liquid, cooling in my mug. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. She sits there for a minute, probably waiting for me to speak, before she finally says something.

“Hey Warrick. How you doing?”

Fucking fantastic, can’t you tell? That’s what I want to say; instead I just sigh and answer, “Fine Cath, just a little tired.”

I wis she would drop it at that, but she doesn't. “You sure that’s it. You’ve seemed a little down in the dumps these last few weeks. You wanna talk about something?”

Reminding myself that she is trying to help, I beat down the sarcasm that threatens to fall from my lips, “Yeah, that’s all. The holiday season is just a little exhausting, you know?”

Finally, it hits her; I can almost see the light bulb flicking on in her brain. “Oh Warrick. I forgot. I’m sorry. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah Cath, I’m sure. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

Watching as Catherine stands to make her exit; I flash a tight smile and go back to staring into my mug. Leaning over, Catherine places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently, “It’ll get easier with time, Warrick. You’ll see.” With another gentle squeeze, she saunters off to her office.

I know she's trying to help, but her exiting remark only makes my mood darker. Sighing, I rise from my seat, and make my way over to the sink to wash my mug. Pouring the hot chocolate, now cold, down the sink, I hear Greg enter the break room.

Music blaring, I'm happy to see that he is too preoccupied to strike up a conversation. Not that I don’t enjoy talking to Greg, I just don’t feel up to it today. Greg grins at me, and starts to prepare a mug of his gourmet coffee. Since I love his coffee, I decide to stick around until the coffee is finished, so I can snag a cup before the other coffee hounds in the lab drain the pot.

Drying my mug, I take it back to the table I was seated at, snagging the Sports section of the newspaper off the counter as I pass by., and wait Settling in to read, I peruse the previous night’s football scores, and review the lineup for next week. When the coffee is finally finished, Greg announces that fact with a knowing smirk. Guess I'm more obvious than I had previously thought. Flashing him a brief smile, I head to the coffeepot to fill my cup.

I guess my quietness tonight is disturbing Greg because I can feel his eyes on me. Not turning around, pouring cream into my coffee, I speak over my shoulder, “Something on your mind G?”

I probably startled him from his thoughts, as he sputters over his coffee, before finally getting himself under control. Turning around, I look at him, as I take a sip from my coffee. Finally he answers, “No, no; I’m fine. I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I …you’ve been a little quieter than usual. Not that you are ever loud. Just…you’ve just been a little more…..subdued this past week. Is everything okay?” Greg answers in his adorable babbling manner.

“No…yeah. Well, I’m fine; it’s just this year…and the holidays….it’s just all--”

“Overwhelming. I get it. Losing a loved one is never easy, and the holidays only make it harder.”

“Yeah, this time of year definitely doesn’t make it easier.”

Standing straight from his position leaning against the counter, Greg pats my shoulder, “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but the pain doesn’t last forever. If you need to talk, you know where to find me.” And with that, the former lab rat walksout of the break room.

I really want to be pissed, I really do. But Greg is only trying to help, and that knowledge is the only thing that keeps me from losing it, as I turn to pour my coffee down the drain.

Frowning at myself, I sigh. I didn't mean to pour the damn coffee out. Shaking my head, I rinse my mug and prepare a new cup. With my coffee in hand, I go to the table I had been sitting at, and snag my paper. About to sit down again, I think better of it, and choose to sit at a table in the corner of the break room. Maybe here I will be able to read in peace, free from any other well meaning platitudes.

Sadly, my plan doesn’t work out.

Whistling, Nick walks into the room, heading straight for the coffee. See what I mean about the coffee hounds? Anyway, I watch him as he makes his coffee. Watching as he takes a sip, I figure he’s done, so I go back to reading, hoping he doesn’t see me. I really love Nick, he’s my best friend, but right now, I really don’t want to be bothered.

As Nick heads to the door, I guess he spots me in the corner, because he changes directions and heads straight towards me. “Hey bro. Whatcha reading?”

“Nothing much, just catching up on the scores from last night’s game. How ‘bout you?”

“Nah, not doing much myself. I saw Greg coming down the hall, and he told me he had just made a fresh pot of his coffee. Thought I'd grab a cup before I get on the road.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re going home for Thanksgiving this year, right?”

Taking a seat across from me, Nick takes another sip of coffee, “Yeah, going home to see my folks, and everyone else. I’ve missed them, and since were on shift for Christmas, figured I’d head home for some of my Mom’s apple-pie.”

Remembering just how good Mrs. Stokes pie was from last year, when Nick’s parents had come to Vegas for Christmas, I groan. “Aww, man. You are so wrong. You know how much I love your Mom’s apple pie.”

“Yeah, you almost ate the whole thing. In fact, I only remember getting one slice.”

“Whatever, man. So are you driving or flying?”

“Well, a little bit of both I guess. I’m driving to Arizona tonight. My sister Sue and her family wanted me to join them for a ‘pre-Thanksgiving’ Thanksgiving dinner. And from there I’ll catch a flight to Texas. I’m gonna take a seven day vacation so I can spend a little time down at the ranch with my folks.”

“Well, have fun. Sounds like you’ll be plenty busy.”

“Yeah, I guess I will be. So what are you planning to do for the holidays?”

Thinking about it just makes my chest tighten, and I have to swallow around the lump that forms in my throat. “Nothing much, I was gonna go to my cousins for dinner. But I really don't feel up to it, you know?”

“You thinking of scraping the whole family thing this year?”

“Nah, after Grams it’s just too soon. I don’t think I can handle it just yet.”

“Oh shit. Dammit Rick, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Don’t worry about it bro, I’m fine. You have fun, and tell your folks I said hi. Give Sue a kiss for me.”

Grabbing his coffee mug, Nick gets up from the table, smiling, “Will do. Might even convince Mom to make you a pie and bring it back when I come home.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

“I know you are, I’ll see you buddy. Gotta hurry, Sue’s been calling me all day asking me when I’m leaving,” Nick says before turning to head out of the break room. Stopping at the door, he looks back at me, with sad eyes, “Warrick, your Grams was a great woman. I loved her, and she treated me like family in the few years I knew her. And I know she wouldn’t want you be upset. I also know that doesn’t do a damn thing to make this time of the year any easier. Just know that you’ve got plenty of family here that cares about you. If you need to call and talk to me, tonight, tomorrow, whenever; just pick up the phone. Okay?”

Voice cracking with emotion, I smile at him, through blurry eyes, “Yeah Nick, I know. Thank you.” And with a smile of his own, Nick walks out of the break room, coffee in hand.

As I sit there, I find that the initial anger I felt before Catherine came in today has been replaced by something else. And the more I think about it, the more familiar the feeling becomes. Love. Catherine, Greg, and Nick have all tried, in their own ways, to show me how much they care about me.

With a renewed sense of myself, I stand up from the table, and go rinse my coffee mug out. Placing it in the cabinet, I turn and head out of the break room. Walking down the hall, I see Catherine sitting at her desk, concentrating on the paperwork before her. Looking up she sees me and smiles, and for the first time in about two weeks, I smile back.  A real smile, not those forced half smiles I’ve been plastering on for the last few weeks. And from the glow in her eyes, I can see that she understands the apology I’m trying to convey without words. She tears her eyes away from mine, and resumes her paperwork, as I continue to head towards my destination.

Peeking into the lab, I spot Greg standing there, bickering with Hodges about something. As usual. He looks up at me, flashes a quick smile and I return it. Hodges exits the lab, nodding in my direction, before heading off to wherever. Sticking my head in, I tap on the door, getting Greg’s attention again. “Happy Thanksgiving, G.”

“Happy Thanksgiving Rick.” Greg says, hopefully accepting the thank you that is hidden behind my words. I continue down the hall, thankful that my Grams made sure I had great friends, no, family, around me before she left this world.

It doesn’t make her death any less painful, but knowing that I don’t have to do it alone, definitely makes things a lot easier. Finally reaching my destination, I knock.

“Come in.”

Entering Gil’s office, I close and lock the door behind me. Crossing the room, I lean in to kiss my handsome lover. “So, is that offer of yours to cook me a nice Thanksgiving dinner still open?”

Smirking, Gil replies, “I never said I’d cook. I said you could have Thanksgiving dinner at my house.” Standing up, Gil walks towards me, wrapping his hands around my waist. “Do you prefer Chinese or Italian?”

Chuckling, I answer, “Actually, I prefer French,” before capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss. The thing I am most thankful for, besides being blessed with great friends, is the man wrapped in my arms. With him I know I can make it through the hard times ahead, and that is a great comfort as I go forward.

THE END