Title: To Find Comfort In You
By: Serenity
Rating: R for content and subject matter
Pairing: Greg and Nick
Summary: Greg has a tough case that really affects him and needs a friend, even if he doesn't know it yet. Nick and Greg preslash/close friendship. Beta'd by the lovely Shacky20.

He’s not a big drinker, not usually anyway. But there are days when only the sharp bite of liquor on his tongue and the burning nectar slipping down his throat numbs the pain, erases the sights and sounds and smells that dominate his life. But he knows that the anaesthetic won’t last long, all to soon he’ll wake up with a headache and the sour taste of vomit in his mouth and he’ll remember all over again.

Tonight’s memory will be the tear stained face of the 12 year old girl who’d returned from her friend’s house to find everything she knew and loved had been torn away from her. They’d found her in the kitchen, still holding the lifeless body of her mother in her arms, refusing to let go and rocking her gently like a sleeping child. A crimson stain on the woman’s left breast was the only outward sign of injury. The father was lying in a pool of his own blood, a pistol still gripped in his rigor stiffened hand, his brains spattered on the white tile behind him, forming a macabre pattern over it and the countertop.

Then they’d found the baby, lying suffocated in the bassinette upstairs, looking so peacefully asleep in the dim light.

The scene had been so disturbing that they’d barely known where to start processing. Grissom had ordered him to work the baby’s room, a nursery much like any other in appearance, with it’s soft blue wallpaper and stuffed toys. The mobile hanging over the cot was still playing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’, this small semblance of normal life taking on an eerie quality, the tinny music echoing in the otherwise silent room.

He’d photographed the mobile then reached over to turn it off, the small models of farmyard animals swaying with the movement. He’d swallowed down the bile rising in his throat and began to process the scene, blinking twice to clear the mist from his eyes.

“Same again, please.” he asks the barman, swallowing down the last drop in his glass. He can still remember and that’s a sure sign he hasn’t had enough yet. He plays with the cardboard coaster, twisting it though his fingers as he waits for his drink.

“Greg.”

He spins round, a little too quickly, almost losing his balance on the stool. Hands reach out to grab him, holding him securely until he’s steady. “What are you doing here?” he huffs, seeing his own blurred face reflected in Nick’s concerned brown eyes.

“I saw your car parked outside. I know you had a rough case tonight, I thought I’d come in and see if you’re OK.” He reaches out a hand that’s quickly pushed away.

“I’m fine, Stokes!” he snaps. “Don’t need you babysitting me.” A flash of the perfect little boy lying cold in his crib, and he chokes on a sob that he can’t hide.

“Yeah, you look real fine, Greg.” Nick says sarcastically as he settles himself on a neighbouring stool and orders a soft drink. “So..” he says, pausing to take a sip of his cola, the ice clinking against the glass. “You plan on getting trashed and then driving home?”

He swirls the thick bourbon around the glass, letting the strong smell of alcohol envelope him before he opens his throat and swallows it in one gulp. “To be honest, I wasn’t thinking that far ahead.” He turns and looks at Nick, eyes so full of distress that it makes Nick’s heart ache to see his friend in so much emotional pain.

“This was your first baby, wasn’t it?” he asks, the question hanging in the air like the cigarette smoke all around them.

“I need another drink.” Greg tells the bottom of his glass.

“The answer isn’t in there, you know.” Nick says, standing now, and Greg watches as his outline becomes fuzzy, like the world is being shot in soft focus. Hands are on his arms and he lets himself be lifted from the stool. “I’m going to take you for a coffee, get you sobered up before I take you home. No arguments.”

Before Greg knows it he’s being shoved into a booth in the diner just across from the bar, the glaring light of the Vegas afternoon forcing him to squint to make out his surroundings. Nick’s sitting across the table from him, their knees touching as he leans forward to look at him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks after ordering a strong black coffee and a sandwich from the waitress. Greg shakes his head as he plays with the salt, pouring out a small mound of it onto the formica table and moving it around with his finger.

“That waitress fancies you.”
Nick’s eyes twinkle at Greg’s sudden statement. “Well, she’s got good taste. What makes you say that, anyway?” He cranes his neck to try and get another look at her.

Greg shrugs, still watching the tiny white crystals move under his finger. “Can just tell. Why, you interested?”

Nick settles back into his seat, the aging faux leather creaking under his weight. “Not my type. Anyway, we’re not here so I can pick up some waitress, we’re here to get you sorted out. How are you feeling now?”

Greg waits until the waitress has brought the coffee and food, setting it in front of Nick and giving him a huge toothy grin, making sure he gets a good view of her ample cleavage as she leans over.

“I didn’t have that much to drink, only a few.“ Nick looks at him, raising his eyebrows to let him know that’s not what he meant. “To be honest, Nick, I just want to go home. It’s been a tough night and I’m tired and I just want to sleep.” He rubs his hands over his weary eyes as if to illustrate his point. He downs the coffee, grimacing at the foul taste of the cheap generic brand, and swallows the sandwich in a few bites.

Nick feels for his wallet in his back pocket. “Ok, but I’m driving you, I still don’t fancy letting you get behind the wheel of a car. We don’t want Day Shift having to come and process whatever’s left of you.” He throws a few bills on the table and gets up to leave, Greg following close behind, steady on his own feet now the sandwich has soaked up some of the alcohol.

The journey to Greg’s apartment is made in silence, but he can feel the air thick with unspoken words. He senses Nick glancing over at him, but he doesn’t turn to meet his eyes, instead, he looks out the window and watches the world pass by, wondering what every person he sees is thinking about at that very second. Life, death, sex, money, pain, pleasure, love, hate, want, need. He sees it all in their faces and it makes him wonder if his own face betrays what he thinks about.




Nick pulls up to the apartment complex and shuts off the engine, gently touching Greg‘s shoulder to get his attention. “Is it OK if I come in and use your bathroom?”

Greg turns to look at him and nods. “As long as you don’t mind the mess, I didn’t have time to clean up yesterday before I went to work.”

They make their way to Greg’s apartment, Nick placing an easy hand on the other man’s shoulder as they walk, making small talk now they are out of the confines of Nick’s SUV.

Greg fumbles slightly with his keys, finally finding the right one for his lock. “Guess I’m still a little shaky.“ he admits. Nick nods, and follows him into large open plan living room. “I’ll be right back.“ he says, walking towards the bathroom.

Nick returns after a few minutes to find Greg in his kitchenette, brewing up some Blue Hawaiian. “Thought I’d make some real coffee.” he says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Want some?”

Nick nods and makes himself comfortable on the couch, switching on the TV and finding a music channel that they can both listen to. “As long as you don’t try and flash me your cleavage when you serve it, yeah.” He smiles at the younger man, who bursts into a gale of laughter that causes his whole body to shake. But the sudden outburst of emotion lets down the guard he’d so carefully built up, and without warning the shuddering laughter changes into wracking sobs that he can‘t seem to stop.

Nick jumps up and runs over to the kitchen and takes hold of Greg, leading him to the couch and lowering him carefully onto the soft cushions. He places an arm around his shoulders, muttering soothing words and stroking his hair until the worst of the sobbing subsides, leaving him sniffling and trembling.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” he repeats over and over again. Nick shushes him softly. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, Greg. It’s OK to cry.” He pulls the young CSI closer to his chest, and Greg can feel the strong, steady beat of his heart, the regularity of the pulse strangely calming. “I’ve got you, Greg. You’ll be OK.”

“He was so small, Nick, so perfect. How could anyone do that to a baby?“ Fresh tears sting his eyes as he tries to blink them back. “We figured out the timeline from the evidence. It seems that the mother had post-partum depression and she must have snapped and she… she suffocated him.”

He shifts in his seat, the memories bringing a fresh wave of pain and tears. “When the father came home he found her sitting in the kitchen. There was a cup and a teapot on the table, she must have been drinking tea, like…. like nothing had happened. When he found the baby, saw what she’d done, he was so distraught that he went and got his gun and shot her where she sat. Then he turned the gun on himself.“ His voice hitches as he speaks. “Their daughter came home and found them.”

“Shit, man, that’s terrible.“ Nick shakes his head in disbelief. “I don’t blame you for being so affected by this case, Greg. You shouldn’t be ashamed about it. It means you’re human, that you care.”

“What if I can’t do this, Nick? What if I don’t have the strength to see this destruction every day?” Greg’s wide eyes are searching, hoping to find an answer in his friend.

“You’re one of the strongest people I know, Sanders. I honestly believe that you’ll be one of the best CSI’s Vegas has ever seen.” He wipes a tear away from Greg’s cheek, the hand feels warm and comforting on his skin. “You’ll work though this, and you’ll move on. And I’m always here for you, you know that, right? If you just wanna talk, or hang out. Whatever.”

Greg feels an age pass as Nick looks at him, before finally leaning down and brushing Greg’s lips with his own, just for a split second.

Suddenly, he’s blushing and pulling away. “Sorry, I really shouldn’t have done that, you don’t need this right now.” He stands and runs his fingers through his hair. “You need a friend, not someone trying it on with you, I’m really sorry. Just forget it, OK? I’ll head home, let you get some sleep.”

Greg stands to face him, a small but genuine smile playing on his lips. “I think I’d sleep better if you were here, with me. Will you stay?” he reaches out and takes Nick’s hand, threading their fingers together.

Nick looks surprised, but pleased. “Yeah, if you want me too, I’ll stay. The couch seems comfy enough. Then I can be here if you need me.”

Greg pulls him close, their bodies touching. “I didn’t mean on the couch.” He leans forward and gently brings their lips together in a soft, warm kiss. “I want you to sleep beside me, in my bed. We don’t have to do anything, I just need to be close to you. Please?”

“Yes Greg, of course I’ll stay with you, if you‘re sure it’s what you want.” Greg nods shyly as Nick pulls him in for a hug. “Come on, look at you, you’re exhausted. Lets get some sleep before our next shift.” They walk to the bedroom and strip down to their underwear, snuggling under the comforter. “Goodnight Nick.” Greg sighs as the older man wraps his muscular body around his back and plants a soft kiss on his neck. “Goodnight Greg. If you need me, just wake me up, OK? We’ll talk more tonight.”

Greg settles into the dark softness of sleep, safe in the embrace of his closest friend. Comfort is what he needs right now, and he’s content to leave it at that for tonight. Once he’s feeling better, he knows that they have the possibility for so much more, but for now Nick’s warm gentle breathing on the back of his neck is enough.