Title: Not So Useless Trivia
By: NVenus
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Greg's trivia is anything but useless, and you never know, you learn something new every day. Rating for language.

Greg knew trivia. Lots of trivia. If you asked anyone else, they would have said that Greg’s trivia was useless. But ask Greg and he will give you a whole bunch of times when his trivia was anything but useless.

~Sid Vicious~

“Nick, not here,” said Greg as Nick pressed his erection into Greg’s thigh. They were in the middle of a glass lab when anyone could walk by and see them, besides Greg was busy.

“But Greg, it’s not going to go anywhere, please. Just one kiss?” Nick pleaded. Greg had been teasing him all day and his painful erection would not go away no matter what he did.

“Hey Nicky?” Greg asked. He had an idea; he’d show Nick how useful his trivia really was.

“Yeah G?” Nick answered, his voice low. The poor man was obviously turned on out of his mind to be bothering Greg in the lab, but he would fix that pretty easily.

“You know Sid Vicious? The bass player from the Sex Pistols?” Greg asked, sounding totally innocent.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“Well this one time he was going through heroin withdrawal and simultaneously vomited and defecated on a groupie as she was performing oral sex on him.” Greg stated clinically. Upon hearing this Nick’s hard on immediately vanished.

“Did it work?” Greg asked eagerly.

“Yes. It worked. Thank you,” Nick said sourly.

“Oh no problem!”

“Greg, you know that’s absolutely nauseatingly disgusting, right?”

“Yup. That is why I said it,” Greg said. Score one for Greg’s trivia!

~Elton John~

“Hey Hodges, I bet I know who your idol is,” Greg said loudly to Hodges across the break room. The CSI’s were just chilling and suddenly Hodges had walked in to get some coffee. Well they were all so bored that Greg decided to have some fun.

“Oh, is that so Sanders?” Hodges asked sarcastically.

“Yup. It’s Sir Reginald Kenneth Dwight, the famous writer, am I right?” Greg asked, enthusiastically. Hodges of course had no idea who the hell he was, but he sounded official so he went along with it.

“Ah yes. How did you know? I aspire to be just like Sir Reginald Kenneth Dwight in every way,” Hodges answered seriously then walked back out of the break room and into the lab.

“Well, I didn’t know he buttered his bread that way,” said Greg, suppressing a giggle.

“Greg, who the hell is Sir Reginald Kenneth Dwight?” Catherine asked.

“Elton John,” Greg said before bursting out laughing, followed by the other CSI’s of course.

~King Louis~

“I still don’t get this! How can we connect him with these symbols?” Warrick was asking Catherine as Greg walked into the break room.

“Connect what to who?” Greg asked.

“Well we have these symbols that keep turning up, but no way to link them to our suspect,” Catherine explained, pointing to a symbol of a sun under a crown.

“What’s your suspect’s name?” Greg asked.

“Uh… Louis Fordean,” Warrick said looking at a file. “Why?”

“Louis Fordean?” Greg asked.

“Yeah, weird name huh?” Warrick replied.

“Very unusual. Well, if it helps any King Louis the XIV of France was known as ‘The Sun King’ but don’t mind me,” Greg said, sounding humble but secretly smug.

“Louis the fourteenth? Louis Fordean, hm. Thanks Greg,” Catherine said.

“Not at all.” Greg walked out of the break room smiling to himself.