Trust

title: Trust
fandom: CSI: NY
pairing: Danny/Mac
rating: NC17
author: nancy
email: the_tenth_muse1@yahoo.com
feedback: yes, please!
archive: sure! just let me know!
summary: After Tanglewood, Danny wants to show Mac just how much he's trusted.

The best part of Mac's day was at night, about a half hour before he was ready to go to sleep. The routine seldom varied, once they were actually home at the same time, no matter what time that might be. He was in bed, propped up on comfortable pillows, reading whatever book or trade journal that he hadn't had a chance to catch up on during daylight hours, with Danny half-snoozing away on his chest. It was soothing to brush his unoccupied hand over the thick hair, their breathing synchronized while his mind absorbed whatever it was he read.

Concentration effectively broken, Mac put the book down and asked, "Don't get what?"

"Well, the cuddle parties I sorta get. I mean, people who don't have what we got, I can understand how they'd want someone to touch and to get touched back."

Mac made a vague agreeing noise out loud, but thought, Cuddle parties? What the hell?

"What I really don't get is the bondage thing. It don't make any sense to me. I mean, why would you ever let someone tie you up? Or wrap you up so's you can't move? And being a piece of furniture? What the hell is with that?"

It took a few seconds for Mac to figure out that Danny was talking about a case from a couple of weeks earlier. Knowing their nightly routine was definitely out the window, Mac put the book on the bedside table. "Have you been thinking about that all this time?"

Danny shrugged and answered, "Off and on. It's just…it bothers me, how someone could let someone else do that to them. I mean, I been tied up before and it's no picnic, let me tell you. Hell, Mac, you know."

Treading carefully, not knowing when something else from Danny's past could explode in his face, Mac confirmed neutrally, "I do know, yes. But Danny, what you or I might have gone through in the past has nothing to do with what those people are looking to experience."

"How's that?" Danny questioned, rolling onto his side to look up at Mac. "It's still being helpless and tied up."

"They're with people they trust. It's a safe experience. Sure, you don't know what might happen, but if you're with someone you love and you have clearly defined boundaries, a safe word, it can be a very…satisfying experience."

Statement, not question, and Danny knew him well enough to know when he was lying. Mac shifted on the pillows to get a better position and answered simply, "I have."

"Well, not to the extreme of being someone's footstool, no, but now and then it's nice to not have to think," Mac replied honestly. "All you have to do is what you're told and react to what's being done to you. It's a…unique…experience."

Clearly not believing that Mac would let himself be helpless, Danny prompted, "And a good one?"

Danny rolled onto his back, frowning at the ceiling. Mac watched him for a long moment, waiting for whatever might come next, then picked up his book. Danny would chew on that a while before bringing it up again. He was like a dog with a bone and wouldn't let it go until he'd sucked the marrow from whatever was on his mind.

It was several minutes later that Danny turned over, scooting back against Mac with a yawn. That was Mac's signal to turn out the lights and he did so, shifting down to spoon up behind Danny, so that he could hold his lover while they slept. Kissing the back of Danny's neck, Mac murmured, "Night, Danny."

Mac likes to get tied up. He let someone make him totally helpless. Mac's not a freak, he's the most well-adjusted guy I know. Well, other than being locked-down a bit when it comes to what he's thinking, but everyone has their quirks.

Danny couldn't stop thinking about the conversation that they'd had in bed a few nights before. He could hear Mac in his head, talking about trust, and flushed with embarrassment every time. It wasn't like they hadn't worked through all of that shit from his past, but it was fresh enough in his memory, along with Mac's whole reaction to it, that Danny sometimes still felt like he was walking on eggshells.

The issue of trust was a big one for Danny, and a bigger one for Mac, no big surprise there. He'd shown Mac that he didn't trust him by not owning up to what had gone down when he was with the Tanglewood boys. Ever since they'd ‘worked through' all of that, aka, shouted at each other until they were both hoarse, Danny had been trying to find a way to make it up to Mac. To show him that he was not only loved, but trusted, right down to Danny's soul.

He wandered into Mac's office around lunch, closing the door, and asked, "You like tying people up, too? Or was it just the other way around?"

Mac choked on his drink at the questions and Danny hurried over to pound him on the back.

After clearing his throat repeatedly, Mac exclaimed, "A little warning next time, Danny, okay?"

Shaking his head, exasperated, Mac pointed out, "This is hardly the time or place for this kind of discussion."

Taking a slow drink of his soda, an obvious delaying tactic, Mac looked at him intently, maybe trying to figure out just how serious he was about the question. He finally said, "I like being in control more."

After Danny's ambush in his office, Mac spent the rest of the day looking around suspiciously before drinking or eating anything. It was just like the young man to blurt out what he was thinking without regards for where he was. He really was like the proverbial bull in a China shop, sometimes.

At least he closed the door first, Mac thought ruefully. Stella caught his attention from down the hall, waving at him, and he shifted course to get to her.

"That's what I want you to look at. I think I need to go to the hospital," Stella answered through gritted teeth.

"Stella!" Mac exclaimed, putting an arm around her waist and guiding her towards the nearest chair. He crouched down and carefully pulled off her shoe, noting the swelling all around the ankle. He carefully pressed down and she gasped in pain. Shaking his head, Mac looked up at her and stated, "You should have gone to the hospital right after this happened. Come on."

She grimaced, but accepted his help up and the support on the way to the elevator.

"I'll save the lecture for later about asking for help, but you have to let me know when you hurt yourself on the job. Do you know how many forms I need to fill out?" Mac demanded.

Groaning, Stella replied, "That's why I was trying to avoid the hospital. I thought I just twisted it."

By then, they were at the car and he helped her into the passenger's seat. Walking about to the driver's side, Mac got in and started the engine, asking, "Which hospital?"

They actually made good time, even with traffic, and settled into the ER to wait for treatment. Stella announced that she was fine and would take a cab home, but Mac's sense of honor, or chauvinism, as Stella liked to call it, wouldn't let him leave. Pulling out his cell phone about half an hour later, Mac called Danny.

"I've got Stella at the ER with a sprained, possibly broken ankle," Mac told him.

A warm feeling went through Mac at the immediate concern and Mac couldn't help but smile as he answered, "I'm fine. Stella was going through an overly-independent phase and fell off a chair at the office."

"Yeah. So I'll be here a couple of hours, at least. They're all backed up as usual. I doubt I'll be home until late, with all the paperwork I need to submit and catching up on what went on today at the lab."

Danny sighed and said, "Damn. All right, call me after you drop her home and give me an ETA for when you think you'll be getting home."

Laughing softly, Mac hung up, to find a bemused expression on Stella's face. "What?"

"Nothing. You're just sounding very…domesticated…these days," Stella replied, smiling fondly. "It's a nice change."

Thankful that Mac was gone for the night so he could do some research, Danny settled down with a beer and a couple of slices of pizza to surf the net and see what he could find on the whole bondage thing. An hour later, Danny couldn't deny that he was more than half-hard at the thought of having Mac try out some of the things he'd seen happening between other couples. Not any of the hardcore or really weird stuff, like the furniture thing, but blindfolds and cuffs, being at Mac's mercy, that would be pretty cool. At least he thought it would, he still wasn't all that sure.

But that was the cool thing about Mac. He was willing to try anything once and had no problems respecting other peoples boundaries. Danny knew that he would agree to whatever conditions set to the whole thing and would stop whenever he said his ‘safe word.' Although really, he couldn't imagine not liking anything that Mac did to him.

Thinking about a safe word, knowing it should be something he would remember in the heat of the moment, and something that would grab Mac's attention, Danny had to settle on Tanglewood. It made sense, really. It was something to which Mac would instantly pay attention and a word that Danny wouldn't ever say lightly. They had enough distance from the whole mess that he was sure Mac would think it was a good safe word.

Danny cleaned out the memory and history, not wanting Mac to discover his little foray until the surprise was ready to be sprung, then shut the laptop down altogether. The apartment felt too empty without Mac in it and he sighed, looking around restlessly. All the images in his brain were still vivid and he knew that he had to do something physical to get himself calmed down enough to sleep.

Without a really clear plan, Danny cleaned up the apartment, did the dishes, then took a shower. It was midnight by the time everything was done, and he was still wired. Flopping onto the bed naked, Danny got comfortable and picked up the phone, dialing Mac's cell automatically.

Mac chuckled, a warm, sexy thing that sent shivers down Danny's body, and answered, "You're going to have to suffer, because I'm here for at least another hour."

"Got my hand right around my cock, jacking it nice and slow, imagining it's your hand."

There was a pause, then the distinct sound of a door being locked, and the shifting of a chair before Mac informed him, "You're a bastard, Danny."

Danny grinned. He loved it when Mac gave in to him, no matter what game they were playing. Sighing deeply, relaxing against the mattress and pillows, Danny murmured, "What do you want to do to me, Mac?"

No longer grinning as he got caught up in the fantasy painted by Mac's rough, low voice, Danny's breath sped up, his hand moved faster. "Front or back?"

"Bending you over the nearest surface, Danny. Pushing into you before you're even ready for it. Making you groan and tell me to stop and then beg for more."

Danny groaned almost on cue, the image so easy to see in his head. He loved it when Mac lost control because it so seldom happened. "What else?"

"That's it. Just driving into you, over and over, jerking you off until you can't even see straight."

Danny moaned, hips snapping up into the tight hole his hand made, and gasped, "Oh God, please, harder, please!"

He cried out helplessly as he came, spilling onto his hand and stomach, panting hard into the phone cradled between his shoulder and the pillow. It was a few long moments before he heaved a deep, contented sigh and murmured, "Thanks, Mac. I really needed that."

Mac chuckled again, slightly breathless, but still in control as he replied, "Glad I could. You mind telling me what brought this on?"

"Just restless is all," Danny answered, shaving the truth a little. Then he added with complete honesty, "I miss you here."

"I told you before that the job's not more important than you, and you don't sound quite right to me. See you in twenty."

Danny couldn't help but smile as he hung up the phone and snuggled into the pillows to wait.

Danny waited another week to spring his plan into action, taking the time to get the right supplies and hide them until it was time. He brought Stella in on the plan only enough to say he was planning a ‘romantic' surprise and needed her to cover for Mac. Being the hopeless romantic that she was, like most women, it was pretty easy to get her in on things.

So it was that they had a whole day off the following Saturday, plenty of time to recover if things got a little intense Friday night. Danny was pretty sure that one of the reasons Mac so seldom let go was because in the back of his mind, he was always on call, waiting to be interrupted as one or the other of them was called into the office. Given an entire day to recover, possibly two if Danny wasn't called in on Sunday, Danny figured that Mac could go as wild as he wanted and they'd still be okay.

He sent Mac out to get some beer to go with the boxing event they weren't really going to see, and used the time to take a shower and get things ready. Funny thing was, their bed was the perfect place for something like this. The headboard was a massive wooden thing with slantwise slats to run the chain through to the hook that he'd installed on his last day off. The good thing about Mac was that unless it was work related, he was oblivious to his surroundings, especially at home. Danny hadn't had to worry about him noticing the hook and asking questions.

By the time Mac got home, Danny was stretched out naked on the bed, blind folded and chained to the wall with lined, leather manacles. His heart was beating faster than usual, but in nervousness, not arousal. For all he knew, Mac might hate the whole idea. It could have been just a phase that he'd been going through, way back when.

Taking a breath, Danny answered, "In the bedroom. Can you help me with something?"

Danny knew the exact moment that Mac laid eyes on him from the sharp intake of breath.

Nervousness increasing, Danny explained, "I thought I'd, you know, um, try this thing out with you, since you seemed so keen on it. Planned it so we'd have tomorrow off and not be on call, too, so you can, um you know, do whatever you want with me. Tonight. Like this. Unless you hate it, ‘cause we can totally never talk about this again if you do. It's not like I'm bent this way all on my own. Just figured that since you seemed to like it and it seemed kinda, I don't know, hot maybe, I thought…"

Fingers touched his mouth, stopping the quick babble of words, and the bed dipped when Mac sat on it. "You don't have to prove anything to me, you know that."

Danny took a deep breath and agreed, "I know. Just…I was curious. I trust you, Mac, I wanted to really show you that I do."

"Oh, Danny, you don't have to show me anything," Mac said softly, cupping his face. "I know you trust me. We're all through with that."

Didn't really surprise Danny that Mac knew what he was referring to, without a word being said. "I just want to, you know?"

Another sharp intake of breath, and then a wry chuckle. "No mistaking that one. You really have thought this through. Let me see what you did here, hang on."

Danny waited while Mac moved to look at the chains on his wrists, then the chain and hook themselves, from the way he tugged on them. Then he pulled lightly at the blindfold, not enough to move it, just testing the snugness.

"First rule. No swearing. I think a night without that mouth of yours will be a refreshing change."

Danny smirked, not even needing his eyes to see the exasperation that so often showed on Mac's face when Danny let out a curse or three.

With another chuckle, amused this time, Mac asked, "You just want to try out bondage, or did you want to try out some pain-play, too?"

"That answers that question," Mac stated firmly. "We'll talk about it later, depending on how you like this. Or if you even do. I don't want you going along with anything here just because you think I like it, Danny. That's paramount, understood?"

"Got it," Danny agreed right away. "Trust me. I don't like something, you'll hear about it."

The bed moved again as Mac stood and Danny strained to hear the familiar sounds of him getting undressed, that sounded so different now that he couldn't watch. The tie had come off the moment he'd gotten home, so the slither of fabric had to be the belt. The zipper was obvious, as was the jingle of change in Mac's pockets when the pants came down. The rustle of shirt was almost inaudible, and he couldn't tell at all when the underwear was taken off.

"You look so good like that, Danny. I have to admit it's crossed my mind before, but I pictured you in black restraints, they'd show up so good against your skin," Mac observed, sitting on the edge of the bed again.

Danny gasped when one of his nipples was pinched without warning. It didn't hurt, but it startled him, coming out of nowhere like it did. A hand slid over his ribs around to his hips then to his ass, squeezing gently.

Mac chuckled as he got off the bed and walked away. Danny heard him rattling around in the kitchen, opening the fridge or freezer, which made him lick his lips in anticipation. They'd had fun with frozen fruit and chocolate sauce before, was Mac planning to try it out again now that Danny couldn't squirm out of the way?

Something was set down on the bedside table and then Mac sat beside him, stroking a hand lightly up and down Danny's chest. "I'm going to tell you everything that I'm going to do to you, Danny, and if you want to nix something, you tell me, okay?"

"First I'm going to cool you down a little with some ice," Mac informed him seductively, causing Danny to groan in anticipation. "Then I'm going to clean you up with my tongue and we'll go from there."

Mac was as good as his word, just like always, and it wasn't long before Danny twisted and turned to escape the ice cube tracing its way over his body. He couldn't, of course, but it didn't stop his instinctive curve into the mattress, gasping and yelping when sensitive skin was iced over. Not knowing where or when the next bit of cold would come next was more than half of his reaction. Danny was dizzy with it by the time Mac's tongue and lips followed a similar path, warming the still-cold skin.

Strong hands glided over him, squeezing and massaging muscles all over, making it seem as though Mac had more than two hands. Danny couldn't remember the last time he'd been this hard, unless it was the make-up sex after Sonny Sassone had come between them. Arching up, hissing in surprise when Mac bit into his abs, Danny begged, "Mac! God please, fuck me already, just fuck me!"

An eternity of desperation later and he was shooting right down Mac's throat, his lover all the way down, surrounding Danny's cock with his throat. The orgasm was torn from him and he cried out without reservation, giving everything to Mac in that moment to collapse back, weightless and boneless and senseless. He wasn't so far gone that he didn't hear the tell-tale sound of Mac jerking off or the low moan that sounded more like pain, than satisfaction, when Mac came.

The cuffs were removed, each slightly sore wrist given a tender kiss before his arm was lowered. Danny blinked rapidly to clear his eyes when the blindfold was removed. His first sight was of Mac looking at him with such love that his heart stuttered. This was what complete trust looked like, he knew it instinctively. He'd thought this would be showing Mac that he was trusted, but it had turned out to be a definite two-way street. Lifting an arm that felt like so much limp spaghetti, Danny cupped Mac's face and whispered, "I get it now."

Mac kissed him, slow and deep and thorough, then settled down half on top of him. With a sated sigh, Danny yawned and combed his fingers through Mac's too-short hair. Pressing a kiss to the top of his lover's head, Danny smiled and closed his eyes. No words were necessary.