Title: About Last Night.....
By: gracey_99_1999
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas
Rating: PG
Summary: Catherine thinks about Sara and Catherine haunts Sara's thoughts?...
***
Cath's POV
Walking in on Sara sleeping in the bedroom made my mind race.
She looked so peaceful, so at ease with herself, so unlike the
woman I had seen the night before. There was no sign of the fiery
passionate woman I had come to care for, but what did this mean? I
kept thinking that I wanted this last forever; another part of me
wanted it to end right there and then. Watching a sleeping Sara, my
mind started to race. What was it about her that made me wonder,
wonder about my life, who I was and what was her role in it. To
watch her everyday, her soul caged like a restless animal hurt me
more than I would ever admit, to anyone. Thinking back to the case,
how she had passed over the sorrow of that woman for the sake of the
evidence had driven me crazy, when I think back to the question I
asked,
"How could you be such a cold blooded bitch?"
I can still hear my own words echo in my head, sounding so cold, so
harsh against the stillness of the room. Watching her pace around
made me want to touch her, but instead I watched, looking for clues.
Searching to hear her thoughts, except now she kept them hidden,
even from me.
As Sara stirred she'd startled me, startled me into burying my
thoughts and dealing with her's, with her nightmares and dreams,
most of the time they where indistinguishable. What about my dreams?
Sometimes I think about those old movies you see on TV, the ones
that always have a perfect life and end with "I love you". Was that
real or make believe, sometimes I'm not sure I know the difference.
Do I love her? Yes, does she love me? Yes, but it feels like it's
more than that. More basic, it's the feeling of knowing her, all of
her.
What was it about being here, in her space that made my thoughts
dance?, I knew I could leave her alone, just get up and go back to
my life. I couldn't, there where too many memories and thoughts, too
many to count, At least here we could be together. Two souls
wandering through the forest of our lives.
Will we find each other? I try not to think about it, but I know
that somewhere deep in me there is a stirring that wishes it
so. "Catherine" her voice draws me from the place my mind had
wandered and I reach out to touch her face. Reaching for her hand
as she stirred I felt my heart beating fast, so fast and loud it
would wake her. I prayed for it to be quiet so at least for now she
could sleep, softly, knowing I am here if she needs me.***
Sara's POV
( 2 days later)
As I look over at the other side of the bed I am surprised how much I
expected her to be there. My dreams had been so real, so vivid in my
head, her scent, her touch, the feeling of her hands on my body
tracing the line, feeling like home. As I dress I struggle to keep
thoughts of her out of my head, what is it about this woman that
haunts my every waking moment, making me look inside my self,
questioning me, challenging me and loving me.
As I walk through the halls I see her for the first time, the first
time since that night. I wonder if she knows I am watching her, her
essence so clear in the air around her. I see her laugh with Nick and
wonder, do I make her smile like that? Then she notices me; I can see
the shift in her body langauge, the change in her eyes. She is
remembering just like I am?
"Hi Sara" as I hear my name I whirl around smiling at Grissom who
stands before me. "Hi Grissom" I smile yet the whole time I am not
really listening; my senses are listening and reaching for her, the
woman in my dreams. As I hear Grissom and Nick talk to me I feel it,
like a cloud gathering for a storm, hanging in the air waiting to
rain.
"Catherine" her voice so deep and resonant in my ears. `Hi Sara' I
smile not wanting to give it away, wanting my desire to be for her
eyes only. "Can I have a word" she asks as I nod my head and make my
goodbyes. "I dreamt of you last night" she said softly as I kept my
eyes to the floor as we walked along. I knew if I looked at her I
would not be able to contain the desire in my face and body so I
didn't look. Denying myself the pleasure of drinking in her
features. `"I thought you would be there when I woke up" she continued
all most sullenly "and when I wasn't" I asked softly "I felt like I
was drowning" she said so quietly, so quietly I had to strain to
hear. "I know how you felt" I told her looking at her for the first
time. Not looking with my eyes but seeing through my soul into a
place deep with in.
As I look at her I yearn to reach out and touch her, gently take her
in my arms and calm her fears, ones I know are bubbling away under
the surface threatening to poke through. "I feel it too" I told her
as our senses reached out and touched, gently rocking and lulling
each other to a safe place where we could be together.***
Next story in series: How Did We Fall?
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