Title: He Looks A Lot Like You
Author: Jaxson K.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: R
Warning(s): AU, Mpreg, death of a minor character
Summary: Nick comes face to face with his past...

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Nick and Greg sat toward the back of the small country church while the other mourners filed in and took their seats. Greg looked over at Nick and saw deep sadness in his husband's face, so he reached over and squeezed Nick's arm gently to let him know he wasn't alone. Nick smiled sadly, never looking at Greg, lost in his own thoughts. At last the minister got up behind the pulpit and the service began.

When it was over, the mourners began making their way back to their cars and soon there was only Nick and Greg standing at the graveside. Nick turned to Greg and asked if he would give him a bit of privacy. Greg looked at Nick oddly but did as he asked. When Greg was out of earshot, Nick kneeled down and with tears in his eyes began to speak.....

"Jackson, I'm so sorry about what happened all those years ago. I won't start with the excuses because there aren't any. What I did was shameful, and cruel. I realize that now, and I wish I had told you while you were living."

Nick walked over to where Greg was standing and they walked over to the car. The two made their way to Jackson Kelley's sister's house. Pat Kelley invited them in and asked if they wanted coffee. Neither did, so she excused herself to go get the letter that she had asked Nick to come by and pick up.

When Pat came back to the living room, she was followed by a dark-haired young man with a tear-stained face. Neither Nick nor Greg recalled seeing the young man at the funeral. Greg asked Pat who the young man was and she replied that his name was Scott, Jackson's son. Greg continued to stare at the young man, trying to see a resemblance to the one photo he'd seen on the wall in Pat's entryway. The more he looked at Scott, Greg came to realize that he was actually looking at a mirror image of Nick! Pat introduced Scott to Greg and Nick, and Scott asked if he could go back to his room. She said he could, and Greg couldn't help but notice the way he talked and carried himself. Greg had a million questions, but knew that now was not the time. When Nick had recovered enough to speak, he looked at Pat.....

"Scott is my son, isn't he?"

"Yes, Nick....."

"Why didn't I know about this until now?"

"Jackson wanted it that way. Until now, there were only three people who knew Scott's parentage: Mama, me, and Jackson. When he came home from Texas Tech, he cried all the time about you. When he started to show, I asked him about it. He confirmed my suspicions, and told me that you were the father. He told me that you didn't know about the baby, and he planned to keep it that way."

"How come he didn't want Nick to know about the baby?"

"Well, Greg, according to Jackson, things ended badly between my brother and Nick, and Jackson claimed that he never got a chance to tell Nick....."

"It's true....I never gave him a chance to tell me."

Nick asked Greg to take the box Pat had given them out to the car, and said he would be along momentarily. When Greg had gone outside, Nick asked Pat if there was anything he could do as far as Scott was concerned. Pat looked at him as if he had lost his mind. She told Nick that it really wasn't necessary. Nick asked about Scott's demeanor and manner of speech. Pat explained that there were complications when Scott was born, and the result was very slight brain damage due to lack of oxygen during delivery. She went on to explain that Scott had attended classes for special needs kids when he was in school, and that he had graduated from high school. He worked at the local market as a bag boy, and that he liked to read.

Nick thanked her for telling his mother about Jackson's death so he could attend the funeral. Pat told him that she had done it so in case Nick did show up, that he would get a chance to meet his son. She apologized ahead of time for appearing to sound cold, but stated quite firmly that she felt it best that Nick not try to stay in touch. Nick was stunned at this, but said nothing. He knew deep down that it was for the best. He thanked Pat and went out to the car where Greg was waiting.

Nick was silent on the way back to town. Greg knew better than to try and make useless conversation with him when he was like this. When they arrived at the Stokes ranch, Nick was out of the car like a shot. Greg walked into the house just in time to hear a door slam upstairs. He made his way into the kitchen for coffee, and found a note on the kitchen counter from Nick's mother saying that she and Nick's father had been called out of town and that they would be back the following day. Greg called Jillian's cell and told her he had found the note and let her know that he and Nick would probably be gone when she and Bill got back. They had booked an early flight back to Vegas because of work. Jillian asked Greg to have Nick call her later that evening. The two said their goodbyes and Greg disconnected. He finished his coffee and headed upstairs to change his clothes.

Not knowing to expect when he got there, Greg tapped on the door of his and Nick's room. Greg didn't hear a response, but opened the door anyway. The sight that greeted him was one he knew he would never forget. Nick lay curled up on the bed crying his eyes out. He looked so lost and alone that Greg instinctively moved to comfort his grieving lover.....

"Don't fucking touch me!"

"Nick? What the hell??"

"Just leave me alone, Greg....."

"I can't do that, Nick. Please tell me what's going on....."

"I SAID leave me alone!"

"I came to tell you that I spoke to your mother, and that she and Bill got called out of town and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. I also explained that we had an early flight booked, and would be gone when they got back. She wants you to call her later. If you don't mind, I'd like to change my clothes."

"You didn't tell her about Scott, did you?"

"No, Nick, I didn't. I figure if you want her to know, you should be the one to tell her."

Greg got changed and put his suit in the garment bag. He took Nick's suit and did the same. He gathered everything and re-packed their bags. While he was doing all of this, Nick had gone down to the car and retrieved the letter Pat Kelley had given him. He went back in the house and into the kitchen for a beer, and sat staring at the envelope on the table. Nick reached over, picked it up, and opened it. When Nick unfolded the letter inside, seeing the familiar handwriting caused the tears to start up. He quickly dried them and began to read the letter.........

Dear Nick,

If you are reading this letter, it means that Pat did what I asked her to do, and that also means that you know about Scott. I debated with myself off and on over the years as to whether I should try to contact you or not. I figured it best not to, considering the way you and I parted company.

I have to say, though, that having Scott was the best thing that ever happened to me. I grew up a lot, and learned all about responsibility. I did the best I could by him, and I have to say that I think I did a pretty good job.

Nick, I want you to know that I've come to terms about what happened between us, but that doesn't mean that I forgive you. The way things happened hurt me pretty bad, and to be honest, it still hurts me some to this day. But, that's neither here nor there. What's done is done!

I'm pretty sure that Pat has made it clear that she would prefer that you not contact her or Scott in the future. I ask that you please respect her wishes.....

Jackson

Nick folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. He went upstairs to put it in his travel bag . He went looking for Greg and found him outside in the massive porch swing.....

"Hey, babe...."

"Nick..."

Nick could tell that Greg was still hurt over the way Nick had spoken to him earlier.

"Greg, I'm sorry about earlier...I just..."

"Skip it, Nick.....I'm going up to bed. Remember that we have to be up early to catch our flight."

Greg got up and went inside. Nick could hear Greg climbing the stairs to their room. He knew that he was going to have to explain all of this to Greg, but he was afraid to because he was not sure what the outcome would be.

Nick finally went into the house. He climbed the stairs and opened the door to his and Greg's room. Greg was asleep so Nick went to take a shower. When he was finished, he set the alarm and slid into Greg beside Greg. When he reached to pull Greg closer, Nick could feel Greg's muscles stiffen and Greg pulled away. Nick turned his back to Greg and fell into a fitful, uneasy sleep. When the alarm went off, Nick rolled over to find the bed empty. Nick sat up and looked around. He saw his clothes laid out and got up to get dressed.

After tidying up the room, Nick went downstairs in search of Greg. He found him on the front porch waiting for him to come down. The ride to the airport was quiet, though Nick tried to make conversation several times. When they landed in Vegas and were on their way to find Nick's truck, Nick asked if Greg wanted to stop and get some breakfast. Greg told him to get it "to go" because they needed to talk when they got home. Nick got a feeling of dread at the sound of Greg's voice.

Nick decided to skip getting breakfast so they could get home quicker. He wanted to get this over with so he could deal with the fall-out and move on. Nick had no idea how hard that would actually be. When they arrived home, the guys took the bags inside and Greg went to the kitchen to make coffee. Nick came into the kitchen and Greg began to speak......

"Nick, we really need to clear the air about Jackson, Scott, and all that has gone on this weekend....."

"I know we do, Greg....."

Greg could hear the hesitation and apprehension in Nick's voice. This only made Greg more curious.....

"I've managed to figure out that you and Jackson were lovers. What I want to know is what happened between the two of you that made it end?"

"Jackson was my boyfriend in college. I kept it quiet, didn't want anybody to know, like it was when you and I got together. When my friends would ask me why I was hanging around with him, I'd say that he was tutoring me in one or the other of my classes. That worked out fine for a while, and then Jackson wanted me to come out. I was nowhere near ready for that, and I told him we needed to cool it for a while......"

"All of this sounds vaguely familiar!"

"Do you want to hear this or not, Greg?"

"Go ahead, Nick."

"Anyway, I stopped seeing him for a couple of weeks. I decided that I missed him and I wanted to say how sorry was that I'd hurt him. We got back together, and then my friends really started ragging on me about hanging out with that "˜queer'. It got to the point that I started making fun of him in front of them but was still seeing him behind their backs....."

"I think I know where this is going...."

"You may or may not, Greg. Please let me continue because this is hard enough remembering it, much less telling your partner how much of an ass he was."

"Sorry, Nick....."

"Anyway, the guys were riding my ass about Jackson and I wasn't sure what to do. I called it off again with him, and started hanging out with my friends. One night we went to this little bar on the outskirts of town and got hammered. I went home with this girl and Jackson saw us together the next day. He acted like he didn't know me, and walked on by. He showed up at the frat house that night saying that he needed to talk to me, that it was important. I told him that I really didn't want to hear what he had to say, and that he needed to leave. Brian and Keith came to the door and started giving him a hard time....."

Nick stopped for a minute, caught up in his memories about that night. He didn't see the tears flowing down Greg's cheeks when he continued.....

"Jackson got mouthy with Brian, and that's how the fight started. Brian and Keith worked Jackson over pretty good, and I didn't lift a hand to stop them. I never said a word, never lifted a finger. I just let it happen. The last time I saw Jackson he was limping down the sidewalk in front of the frat house......"

"What happened after that, Nick?"

"Nothing....school let out two days later for spring break and when school started back, Jackson didn't return. I know why now, and I know why he came to talk to me that night....."

"What would you have done, Nick? Told him to get rid of it? That it wasn't your problem or your fault? TELL ME!!!!!"

Nick was shocked at Greg's outburst. He didn't say anything, he just sat there looking at Greg seeing the hurt and anger.....

"You know, Nick, I had my share of dealing with guys like you and your friends. It's all fun and games until one of the so-called friends starts bitching about the fag hanging around too much, or their friend showing a little too much interest in said fag. Then it's the very things you did to Jackson that happen. One person's life lays in tatters while the other goes on like business as usual. People like that make me sick....."

"What could I do, Greg? I wasn't out, I sure as Hell couldn't tell my parents about Jackson, and I was too afraid of the consequences if I did come out. It sounds bad to say it out loud, but I just wanted to fit in and be as "normal" as possible. Being gay in Texas is a big no-no. I got tired of fighting, so I tried to fit in....."

"That doesn't make what happened to Jackson right!"

"I realize that, Greg. I felt like shit for a long time about what happened, but I never did anything to make amends. I have to live with that from now on. I have a son that I will never know because of my stupidity. How the hell do you think that makes me feel?"

"At this point, I can't say, Nick....."

"What do you mean, Greg?"

"I'm starting to think that I don't know you at all....."

"I can't believe you just said that! Why would you say something like that, Greg?"

"It's simple, Nick. In the last hour, I've found out things about you that I never would have dreamed possible. These things just don't fit with the Nick that I know and love...."

"That's because I'm grown now and make better decisions....."

"I sure as hell hope that's true because I've got something to tell you, and I'm not sure how you're gonna take it....."

"What is it, Greg?"

Greg took a deep breath and hoped that he wasn't making a mistake.....

"I went to the doctor before we went to Texas, and in about six months, you're gonna be a daddy....."

Nick sat there stunned to his core. Greg was pregnant! Nick had hoped for something like this, but hadn't gotten his hopes up. Greg sat there terrified. He had no clue what was going on in Nick's mind, and was scared to death to find out.....

"Oh, baby! You've just made me the happiest man in the world. I've wanted this for so long....."

Greg reached for Nick, and pulled him into his arms. Nick noticed that Greg was crying and asked him why.....

"Baby, why are you crying?"

"After hearing what happened to Jackson, I was scared of what you might do....."

"Greg, you don't have to worry. I know what I want, and now that you're having my baby.....Greg, I would never do anything to hurt you.....I swear!"

The two talked for hours making plans and deciding what to do about work. Nick knew he'd been given a chance to do the right thing, and he was going to do everything he could to get it right.

The End

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