Title: Always Yours
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Zeke Barnes
Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas/A Gifted Man
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, 52_challenge
Prompt: 16, Phobia
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Zeke Barnes, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg turned over in bed, propping himself up on one elbow and looking down at Zeke. His lips curved into a smile at the sight of his boyfriend; he loved waking up like this, with Zeke beside him, knowing that he was in a secure relationship with someone who loved him.

He'd given up on having anything like this in his life when he and Zeke had connected; it might have been a strange way to meet someone -- and one that could even cost Zeke his job, if what had happened between them was known -- but it worked for them.

Greg reached out to brush a few errant strands of hair away from Zeke's face with gentle fingers, enjoying the feel of his boyfriend's soft skin under his touch. Every day with Zeke made him happier than he'd been the day before; for the first time in his life, he had fallen hopelessly in love.

This man was everything to him, all that he could ever have wanted in his life. Even though they'd only been together a short time, he couldn't imagine what his life would be like without Zeke. That was something he didn't want to even attempt to think about.

Zeke sighed softly in his sleep, his eyelids fluttering. Greg's smile grew wider; his boyfriend was waking up, and he intended to be the first thing that Zeke saw when he opened his eyes. Slowly, he moved closer, ready to lean down and capture Zeke's lips in a kiss.

The other man yawned and stretched, raising his arms above his head. Without thinking, Greg captured Zeke's wrists with both hands, holding his arms above his head as he leaned down for a kiss, enjoying the feeling of being in control of the situation.

Zeke's reaction to being held down shocked him. The other man's body jerked under his; Zeke cried out, his head moving from side to side as he struggled to free his wrists. "No!" The word sounded like a panicked scream in the quiet of the bedroom.

Greg let go of Zeke's wrists, his eyes wide, wondering what he'd done wrong. Obviously, Zeke didn't like having his hands immobilized; he hadn't known that his boyfriend had problems with that, but he could easily guess what might have caused it.

Had Zeke dealt with some kind of abuse in his past that he hadn't talked about? If he had, then Greg wanted to know about it; he wanted to be able to help his boyfriend get past any phobia that he might have due to past abuse, or at least to talk about it and get it out in the open.

"Zeke?" he whispered, looking down at the other man. Zeke had instinctively curled up in a fetal position, his back to Greg; his arms were over his head, as though to ward off a blow. "Zeke, baby, it's okay. It's only me. I-I didn't mean to scare you, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

After a few moments, Zeke relaxed, slowly looking up at Greg and blinking. When he spoke, his words were breathy, as though he was having a hard time catching his breath. "N-no, I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have freaked out like that. It's just that ...."

His words trailed off; Greg nodded, sliding his arms around Zeke and pulling him close. It felt odd to be so in control, when Zeke was usually the more dominant partner in their relationship, but he knew that his boyfriend needed the comfort of being held.

He wrapped his arms around Zeke, pulling his boyfriend close against him, wishing that he'd thought before he had done something that he hadn't been sure that Zeke wanted. Now there might be a rift between them; Zeke might have a hard time trusting him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, feeling more contrite than he ever had about anything in his life. How could he have been so stupid as to just assume that Zeke would be okay with being held down? A lot of people didn't like that, and Zeke was apparently no exception.

Zeke sighed softly, raising his head to look up at Greg. "No, it's okay," he said, shaking his head. "I -- should be able to get past that by now. It's a phobia that's stuck with me for too long. It happened a long time ago, and I should be over it. Don't worry about it, Greg."

"What happened?" Greg asked, not knowing of any other way to obliquely get Zeke to talk about what was obviously a traumatic event in his past. "If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to," he added hastily. "But I'd like to know, Zeke. Maybe I can help."

Zeke sighed again, closing his eyes when he spoke. "I used to be involved with a guy who got off on holding me down whenever we'd have sex," he said, his voice very soft, almost inaudible. "I guess that's why I'm not big on bottoming any more."

"I'd never hurt you," Greg whispered, feeling his heart contract in his chest. Zeke couldn't possibly believe that he would be like that; he would never hurt anyone he loved, this man least of all. "Zeke, don't ever think I'd do anything to you that you didn't want."

"I know you wouldn't," Zeke said softly, raising a hand to stroke Greg's cheek. "It's just .... a phobia that I've got, that's probably going to take me a long time to get rid of, if ever. I was hoping this wouldn't come up, or if it did, that it would be a long time before we had to deal with it."

Greg shook his head, sounding firm and decisive when he spoke again. "I'm glad it did," he said, brushing a gentle kiss across Zeke's cheek. "I'd rather have it all out in the open, so we can confront the problem. It's not the end of the world, Zeke. We'll find a way around this."

Zeke nodded, relief in his eyes. Greg raised a hand to brush his hair back, mesmerized by that dark gaze. He would help Zeke overcome this phobia; they would do it together. And they could start doing that right now, if that was what Zeke wanted.

No, maybe this wasn't the right time, he told himself. He would let Zeke take the lead on this; his boyfriend would let him know when he was ready, and then they could move forward. There was no hurry; after all, they had the rest of their lives together, every day and every night.

"We can work on helping you get past that phobia," he continued, stroking his fingers through Zeke's hair. "I know it won't be easy, but nothing worth having ever is easy, is it? We'll work through this, Zeke. I promise. And it doesn't make me love you any less."

"Thanks for that," Zeke murmured, resting his head against Greg's shoulder. "If there's anybody who I'd want to bottom for, Greg, it's you. I'm just not really sure that I'm ready for it yet." He raised his head, giving Greg a somewhat wobbly smile. "But I will be. Sometime."

"There's no rush," Greg told him, returning the smile with one of his own. "We'll take it slow, Zeke. And no matter how long it takes, I'll be here with you. I'm not going anywhere, babe. No matter what happens, I'll always be here. And I'll always be yours."

Zeke didn't answer those words; he only raised a hand to Greg's face, then leaned forward slightly to meet Greg's lips in a kiss that went straight to their hearts. Whatever problems they might face, they could be worked out, Greg assured himself. No matter how long it might take.

***