Title: Anywhere With You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 7, 12_stories
Prompt: 6, Truth
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

"Ryan, I need to talk to you about something," Greg began, looking across the table at his boyfriend. "It's not easy for me to bring this up, but I've been thinking about it for a while, and I think it's something we need to discuss and get out in the open between us."

"Okay, what is it?" Ryan asked, putting down his coffee mug and resting his elbows on the table. His eyes met Greg's, a look of apprehension in those dark green depths. "Whatever it is, I'll talk about it. What's wrong, Greg? What's bothering you?"

Greg took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldn't make Ryan angry by bringing up a time from his boyfriend's past that he might not want to remember. But they had to get this out in the open, talk about it, and clear away any misconceptions.

"I-I want to talk about the problems you've had in the past with gambling," he said softly, wanting to reach across the table and take Ryan's hand, but not daring to do so. "I know you don't like to talk about it, but it's something we need to have an understanding about."

"I kind of figured this would come up at some point," Ryan said with a sigh. "I know that a lot of people think moving here was a bad idea, given my past. But I'm staying away from the casinos, Greg. I'm going to keep staying away from them. I can promise you that."

"It's such a deep hole to fall into, Ryan," Greg said, his voice trembling a little. "I've seen up close and personal what it can do to people. I've had friends fall into that trap before, and they got swallowed whole. Not many of them managed to make it out."

"One thing I can tell you about my gambling habit in the past," Ryan said, his voice even and controlled. 'I had to lie to a lot of people I cared about to cover it up. I'm through with that, Greg. You're one person I"m not going to lie to. Not about anything. Not ever."

"We promised each other that we'd never have any secrets between us," Greg whispered, his gaze still focused on Ryan's face. "That we'd always tell each other the truth, no matter what. I couldn't stand it if you fell back into that life and felt like you had to lie to me."

"I'd never lie to you, Greg. Never." Ryan's voice was strong and firm when he spoke; he reached across the table, taking both of Greg's hands in his own and twining their fingers together. "I might be able to lie to other people. But not to you. Never to you."

"I believe you," Greg said quietly, his gaze locked with Ryan's. "I trust you to always tell me the truth about everything, Ryan. I know you might have felt like you had to lie to people in your past. I've done the same thing. I just want to know that you'll always tell me the truth."

"I will," Ryan assured him, his own voice strong and steady. "Greg, I'll never lie to you. I couldn't. If I did, I wouldn't be worthy of being with you. And you know I'd never do anything to jeopardize what I have with you. I'd rather be dead than lose you."

"I'm just so scared that the demons from your past are going to catch up with you," Greg whispered, tears rising behind his eyes. He disentangled one hand from Ryan's grasp, raising it to his face to wipe at them. "I don't want you to have to keep running from them."

"I've talked to counselors about my gambling problems already," Ryan said with a sigh. "That's a long way behind me, Greg. I know that I won't ever be able to walk into a casino or any place where gambling is going on without feeling that need. It's an addiction. But I'm past it."

"You're going to fighting that addiction every day of your life, aren't you?" Greg said sadly. "And I can't help you with it. All I can do is be there if you need me. I guess that's helping, in a way, but .... I want to be able to keep it away from you completely."

"Baby, we live in Las Vegas." Ryan chuckled softly, shaking his head. "There's no way to keep gambling away from me completely. But there is a way for m to avoid it. I just can't go to casinos. If we're working, that's a different story. Then I can be there with no problem."

"You wouldn't ...." Greg's voice trailed off; he didn't want to put the fear that had suddenly leaped into his mind into words. He didn't think that Ryan would gamble while he was on duty, but he had to hear it from his boyfriend to be absolutely certain.

"No, Greg, I wouldn't," Ryan said quietly, his hand squeezing Greg's even more tightly than before. "And you know why I wouldn't? Not because of my job. Not because I'd be on duty at the time. Because of you. Because I know it'd hurt you if I did that. So I never would."

"It would hurt you, too, in the long run," Greg whispered, unable to speak any louder. "You'd feel guilty about it, I know you would. And you'd eventually end up letting it eat away at you from the inside out. I know you, Ryan. You wouldn't be able to live with doing that."

"No, I wouldn't," Ryan murmured, disengaging his hand from Greg's and running it through his hair before looking up at his boyfriend. "So what do you want me to do, Greg? Quit my job, go back to Miami and hope that I can get reinstated there? Leave you because I gambled in the past?"

Greg sat back, feeling as though he'd just been sucker-punched in the gut. He couldn't speak for a few long moments; words wouldn't form in his mind. Ryan thought he wanted him to leave; he was prepared to do that, to throw away everything they had.

Without a word, he got up from the table, stumbling a little as he left the kitchen and almost ran down the hall to the bathroom. He closed the door, leaning against it and sliding to the floor, burying his head in his hands as the sobs finally broke free.

The cruelty of Ryan's words kept hitting hm, as if he was being battered over and over again. They loomed large in his mind; he couldn't hear anything else, couldn't think of anything else. Ryan would leave now that he'd brought this up. He was going to lose the love of his life.

Was this the truth of how Ryan felt about him? Was it that easy for him to say he would leave, simply because Greg had concerns about the demons from his past being too much for him to deal with alone? He should have just kept his mouth shut.

He should never have said a word. If Ryan had any problems with gambling again, he would bring it up. He had promised not to keep secrets from Greg, and he was a man of his word. He'd destroyed everything with one stupid question, just a few little words.

It was only a few seconds before he heard Ryan outside the door, then felt it move as the other man tried to push it open. "Greg! Greg, let me in. Greg, baby, don't cry. It's okay. Please, please don't cry. I didn't mean that, Greg. I'm not going to leave you."

Greg didn't try to stop the door from opening; he curled up in a ball on the floor, covering his head with his arms, the tears streaming unchecked down his face. He could feel Ryan's arms around him, feel the other man pulling him into an embrace, burying his face against Greg's hair.

"Greg, baby, I didn't mean it," Ryan whispered, his tone pleading. "I didn't mean it, I swear. I wouldn't leave you. I couldn't. If I had to leave Vegas, you'd be coming with me. I wouldn't leave my heart behind. I could never leave you. I didn't mean it, baby. Please, please don't cry."

"Don't leave me," Greg managed to whisper, the words coming out on a sob. "I'd rather be dead than lose you. Promise me you won't leave me. Tell me the truth, Ryan. If you'd leave me because of the gambling thing, then tell me. If you would, I'll never bring it up agian, I swear."

"No, baby, no," Ryan murmured, stroking Greg's hair and holding the young man close against the warmth of his body. "I'd never leave you, Greg. I promise. If something happened and I couldn't stay in Vegas, I'd take you with me. I'll never go anywhere without you."

"And I'd go anywhere with you," Greg managed to say before the tears overtook him again. He sobbed into Ryan's shoulder, leaning against his boyfriend, the tension that had been building up within him for the past few days finally escaping with the release of being able to cry.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby," Ryan whispered, raising Greg's face to his and gently kissing the tears away from his cheeks. "That's the truth. I'd be lost without you, Greg. When I came here, I was lost -- and now, I'm found. I don't want to get lost again."

"Y-you won't," Greg murmured, sniffling and resting his forehead against Ryan's shoulder. The tears were receding now, becoming more manageable. He still felt unsettled, and he knew that they still had a lot to talk about. But they'd made a start.

"Come on," Ryan said softly, starting to get to his feet and helping Greg stand up on shaky legs. "Let's go finish breakfast, and take Wolfie for a walk. I think it'd do us both good to get out. Together," he added, his arms sliding around Greg's waist again. "Like we should be."

Greg nodded, letting Ryan lead him out of the bathroom and down the hall. Nothing had really been talked about, not the way he wanted it to be. But the two of them were still intact, and Greg hoped that this had made them stronger -- though only time would tell.

***