Title: The Boys are Baking
By: Kuroi Neko-kun
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG
Summary: The Miami boys get themselves into their toughest challenge yet: Baking.
Disclaimer: Ah... It's on my wish list. Owning CSI: Miami. But too bad, hasn't come true yet...
Warnings: Seeing the boys covered in flour? No, no general warnings.
A/N: I'm not sure what compelled me to write this. Probably boredom.

***

What led to the most horrific experience in his whole life? An annual bake sale. The Miami-Dade Crime Lab would hold one every year to raise money for some charity or what not. He could not care less what it was for as he sat in the meeting room when the promotional team would explain to them of what to do and when to meet. Usually, 'bake sale' meant to him was to buy the most expensive cake in the bakery and bring it to their meeting point. Calleigh would deal with the upfront and he would be sitting at the back hoping that somebody died on the most boring day of the year or he will. Halfway through it, he would get a call from Horatio who said he was on the way but Frank Tripp called because they found a DB. He would thank his lucky stars and tell Eric to stay with Bullet Girl. Seniority did have advantages. But this year was different as the meeting ended. The night shift supervisor was gloating that his team could bake. Of course they could. The team mainly comprised of women. But that caught Horatio's usually deaf ears. He did not react to it at first but the supervisor grabbed him and Eric to a corner and ordered them to gather some baking things and meet him at his house once shift was over. His eyes went wide when Horatio finally let go of him. The boys were baking this year.

Armed with flour, eggs, butter and the entire arsenal needed to bake a simple fruit cake, Speed knocked on Horatio's cookie cutter home door and wished that he was working in another state at that precise moment. That thought perished when Horatio opened the door in a frilly blue apron. Yes folks, Horatio Caine in a frilly blue apron. Delko had come up from behind him and started laughing. It was quickly subdued when he was given Caine's Famous Death Glares. When he does it, you can actually feel the capitalizations. Tim tried not to smile as he went inside.

"H, what are you wearing?" he finally asked, not able to restrain the temptation as they headed to the kitchen.

"This was my ex-wife's. I needed something to protect my clothes from whatever possible damage baking could inflict and I found this," he pointed to the apron.

"I can see why she left it behind," Speed muttered, ducking from a glare. But revenge was bittersweet as Horatio took out two more aprons. Both frilly pink. After much protest, the two other men wore their aprons reluctantly. H threatened their upcoming promotions.

Hunched over the recipe book, Speed deciphered the many mysteries of the cooking world. If there was anything he was happy about living in Syracuse at that moment (which there wasn't), it would be his father's restaurant upbringings. That meant he could cook something or figure out what to do in a cook book. Horatio was busy washing the utensils needed for baking. Delko was having fun juggling the bag of flour and eggs. Speed sighed, wondering why he agreed to this foreboding task. Oh yeah, H threatened his promotion. He had braved an enquiry to why Calleigh did not join them. The supervisor said that she was baking her own cake. Delko asked about Alexx and H said that she was baking cookies. For them. Answers given, they resumed work. With H's back turned, however, Delko had led himself to teenage mischief. He had started with eating the raisins he had opened. Speed stopped him and he was now inflicting revenge by flicking the raisins at Speed's head, aiming for his ear. He knew he should not retaliate. He should have ignored him or at least tell him to stop in an adult manner. But his frustration had reached a new high when the raisin hit near his eye. He grabbed the first thing his eyes laid upon: Eggs. He threw it towards Delko, who ducked, and the egg hit squarely on the back of Horatio's auburn hair. The youngest CSI was stifling his laughter.

"Oh, crap," Speed muttered when Horatio turned to him with an eyebrow raised. In his hand was the soapy sponge he had been using to wash the utensils. He threw it, hitting Speed right in the face. The CSI knew he deserved that. He grabbed his apron end and wiped his face before apologizing to Horatio. At that precise moment, Eric burst out laughing at the both of them. There was an unseen message between the senior CSIs as Speed grabbed another egg and H armed himself with butter. Splat was the sound when the two contacted Eric Delko's body. Speed chuckled. The Cuban was still standing, shocked at what had happened before he glared at them, like a mad bull glaring at those clowns at the rodeo. Horatio swore he saw steam coming out from the youngest CSI's ears. He threw at them flour as they tried to subdue him with what was left of their arson.

Their little fight ended with Speed sitting down, leaning on a wall, trying to get the raisins that were stuffed into his ear, Delko was panting and laughing while lying on the floor and H was leaning against his cabinets, with a smile on his face. All of them were covered in flour, eggs, butter, raisins and everything else they had thrown at each other in Horatio's once spotless kitchen. This was Miami-Dade's finest CSI team when baking. Speed had finally cleared out the raisins and turned to Horatio.

"H, what about the cake?" He received the muck on Horatio's shirt as a reply.

The fruit cake looked too perfect to be true. Calleigh examined it before noticing that it was obviously bought. She shook her head before turning to the three men.

"Which cake shop was it?" she asked, grinning.

"It's not like we didn't try," Eric reasoned, salvaging some dignity for them.

"It was a complete disaster," Tim pointed out, helping himself to Alexx's cookies.

"You should see H's kitchen after that," the Cuban said, chuckling. Speed whacked him on the back of the head for saying so. Horatio turned to them.

"That reminds me, you two are coming over to help clean my kitchen, right?" Horatio asked, smirking at them. They complied, not wanting another threat with their promotions. Speed shot Eric the Caine Death Glare soon after. But Eric was busy retelling the story of what happened in that kitchen to even notice. Speed sighed, swearing that if the nigh shift was planning to gloat about something, he'd stuff fruit cakes in their throats.

"Sounds like you guys actually had fun," Calleigh commented after the story was over. Speed shrugged. True, he did have fun. It would be more if he did not have raisins stuffed in his ears by Mad Bull Delko. The blonde got up to talk to Horatio before the bake sale actually started. Speed wanted to take a walk. As he left the area, he heard Calleigh say," Horatio, you still have egg goop in your hair."

End