Title: Be All Right
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, csi50
Prompt: 9, Be all right
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg opened his eyes, stretching and yawning as he rolled over onto his side to peer out of the window near the bed. It was already dark out; he'd slept for longer than he'd intended, but that was probably only because he and Ryan had stayed late at work this morning.

He felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, now that he knew Santos had been put away. He only hoped that it was permanent -- and that Ryan wouldn't have to testify at his trial. He knew how much his boyfriend was dreading that possibility.

He'd feel the same way, if he was the one who had been through all that Ryan had suffered at Santos' hands, he told himself with an inward sigh. He wouldn't want what had happened to come out publicly either -- but if that was the only way to put a criminal behind bars, he'd do it.

Ryan didn't want Santos to be freed on some technicality any more than he did; Greg knew that if he had to be there in court, he would be. Nothing was going to keep his boyfriend from seeing this through, and Greg was proud of him for facing his fears..

But he was still worried about Ryan's state of mind. They had both been under a lot of pressure lately; he didn't blame his lover for being tense and on edge. He felt that way too, though he was sure that his own anxieties were nothing compared to Ryan's.

All he wanted was for this to be over, not just for the present, but for good. He wanted Ryan to be all right, to be able to sleep well at night again and to forget about the threat that Santos had posed. Hopefully, that would happen once the trial was over and he was put away.

Ryan had been jumpy and tense ever since he'd first seen Santos again, that day at the crime scene they'd been working on. As much as Greg hated to admit it, their relationship, as close as it was, had been a little strained during these past few weeks.

They were still together, he told himself firmly, turning back over to gaze down at the man sleeping next to him. That was the important thing. Santos, for all of his threats, hadn't been able to tear them apart. This was proof that they could weather any storm and still be all right.

The threat had brought them together, making them cling to each other more, rather than pushing them apart. If that was what Santos had in mind, then he had failed miserably. Greg took some satisfaction from that thought; he hoped that Ryan did, too.

Nothing was going to make the two of them turn away from each other. Greg was more sure of that than he'd ever been of anything in his life; he and Ryan were meant to be together, no matter what kinds of curve balls life might decide to throw their way.

He wanted to believe that Ryan would be all right, that Santos being put away would magically make all of his problems disappear. But he knew better than that; the trauma that Ryan had been through wasn't going to magically dispel as though it had never existed.

That was one barrier between them that was going to be hard to break down, Greg thought, reaching out to stroke gentle fingertips down Ryan's cheek. The other man stirred slightly, but didn't awaken, though he seemed to move closer to Greg when he was touched.

Carefully, so as not to wake his boyfriend, Greg slid his arms around Ryan, pulling him close. This was a change of roles for them, he thought, a slight smile curving his lips. Ryan was usually the one who held him. It was nice to be on the other side, for a change.

Though he had to admit that being in Ryan's arms, knowing that he was safe and loved, was the best feeling he'd ever had. He never wanted to lose that; now that he knew what it was like to be in Ryan's arms, he didn't think he could live without their strength and protection.

Did Ryan feel the same way about him? he wondered. Did he feel that same sense of warmth and love when they were lying here like this, with his arms around Ryan? He hoped that his boyfriend did know what that felt like; he wanted Ryan to know that he was loved.

Of course he knew, Greg chided himself. There was no way he could not know how much he was loved and needed. He said those words to Ryan every day; it was amazing how much three little words could mean, especially when they came from the right person.

Ryan would be all right; he was sure of it. After all, Ryan had him for love and support; he wasn't going to turn his back on the man he loved simply because there was some past trauma that was hard for Ryan to get over. He knew all too well how that could feel.

He'd been with too many people in the past who hadn't wanted to deal with his own sexual trauma. Ryan was the first man who'd been able to help him leap across that chasm, who had broken down a barrier that Greg had begun to think would surround him forever.

It hadn't been easy to leap that chasm; he'd been scared to death, afraid of how it would feel, and of what might happen afterwards. But he had put his trust in Ryan, opened his heart and given his body, and it had worked out for the best. He'd never been happier since that wall had crumbled.

Greg wanted Ryan to feel the same way, to know the happiness and the freedom that came with making a barrier tumble to the ground. He had no doubt that it would -- but Ryan's trauma had been much more recent, and it would take him a long time to get past that violation.

How long had it taken him to let his own barriers come tumbling down? Greg thought. More than ten years, which had been far too long. He didn't want Ryan to be the same way, holding back from a certain kind of intimacy because of what someone else had done to him.

But he wasn't going to rush Ryan. He was going to let his boyfriend take his time, move forward at his own pace -- and he would be here when Ryan finally made the decision to leap that chasm. He wouldn't let his lover fall; he'd be here to catch him, hold him and keep him safe from harm.

Ryan would be all right. They would be all right. Making sure that Santos was put behind bars -- and stayed there -- was only one small step in the healing process, but it was a big one. Greg hoped it would be a giant leap on Ryan's road to recovery.

Greg sighed aloud as he rested his head on the pillow, settling himself more comfortably and closing his eyes. Yes, Ryan would be all right. They both would. Whatever might happen in the future, all was right with their world at the moment, and he hoped that it would stay this way for a while.

***