Title: Beer Bad
By: lewis771750
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Challenge: Virtual rewind - Buffy Titles. It could also be Lindsey stories, vices, sickness, but it was inspired from the title.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: They are not mine. I know it, you know it, and they know I know it. I took them out to play and put a smile on their faces.
Rating: It would be a U over here, but what does beer drinking to your ratings?
Words: 387

***

I don't know how you cope with this all the time. I've been looking after Lindsey for a week whilst you're in hospital, recovering after being shot, and I'm shattered all the time.

For the first couple of days I used to keep myself amused remembering the looks on the guy's faces when they heard you ask me to look after Lindsey. The looks when I agreed and Lindsey seemed happy amused me too, but they don't know how close we've got recently, and how well Lindsey and I get on.

The amusement I garnered from those memories paled, partly through exhaustion, partly because I was missing you in my bed as much as Lindsey was missing you. But I had to be there and support her, be brave for her. Not that I resent that, but it is hard work.

Then I started to think about crawling into the bottle for refuge. I was never a big drinker, so a couple of beers were enough for me. After a couple of days of this I knew beer wasn't the answer, not for me. Whilst beer might be a bad answer, anything else seemed worse.

Something had to give, and I was back on the cigarettes. Just one or two a day, honest, when I needed five minutes to myself. I know I can kick this habit again, I know you'll demand that I do, and I will submit willingly to that demand.

Smoking helps, it gives me a break to be alone. I guess it's no surprise to anyone that I enjoy time alone, but I'd forgotten how much I needed it. I realised when you are around I get alone time when you're with Lindsey. I never resented that, but never knew before this week how much I treasured it.

But you're coming home tomorrow, back to both of us. I don't know who will be the happiest: you because you're out of hospital, Lindsey because she gets her mum back, or me because we'll be back together properly.

Tonight I'm saying goodbye to the things that have been keeping me sane this week, so I'm standing her in your porch, with the door open listening out for Lindsey. My last sinful cigarette is in one hand; the last bad beer is in the other.

***