Title: Blah…blah…blah…
Author: Dee
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 9609
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes
Warnings: Fluff and, I think, v.v.v.AU and OOC.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat and podga for their invaluable help in the Americanisation of the fic and their insightful comments – which I may well have ignored! I thank high_striker for his wonderful icons. I am indebted to them all. Any errors are mine.
A/N: This is Part Ten of Eleven of an ongoing saga. It follows on from The Long and Winding Road, What About Sex?, Cool, The Insane Kind, Convoluted, Four Times In Twenty Four Hours, Upping the Ante, BFF and Facing Up. It will help to be familiar with these as they form part of the whole. This is the last ‘proper’ part, only an epilogue will follow to tie up loose ends!

Three weeks and a day elapsed before Gil and Nick had their first argument following the shooting. Well, it really was their first ever argument. Nick had made an exceptionally good recovery and had been discharged from the hospital after eleven days. He had to return every day for another week of intensive therapy on his breathing pattern but had made such progress in that area that even Marilyn had conceded he didn’t need to come in every day and he was down to Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. So, all in all, excellent progress.

He was still very tired though. He’d try to do things against Gil’s wishes, and if Gil was there, he would gently get him back to the couch to rest. Put the remotes for the TV and sound system in his hands, or offer to find a book or a journal for him to read, but increasingly, Nick became whiney and petulant and moaned at every single thing Gil did.

Now Gil loved Nick with all his heart, and he was sure Nick loved him back, but he was also sure that if he didn’t stop whining and complaining Gil was going to get very annoyed anytime soon.

On the twenty second day Gil came in from work to find that Nick had prepared a full breakfast, and it looked wonderful. But, all the exertion Nick had put into getting it prepared and cooked had worn him out to such an extent that he didn’t have the energy to eat. Nick tried to pass it off as just his normal fatigue, but Gil was having none of it.

“You know I love you….”

“….that’s how you start every sentence when you’re going to lay into me about something.”

“I do not; I love you.”

“And?”

“Nick, you’re trying to do too much….”

“Told you so.”

“I’m trying to take care of you and you seem to be hell bent on trying to do too much, too quickly. To get better you need to take it easy, rest up and let me take care of you…it’ll only be a few weeks. But you need to rest.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

And that, as they say, was that. Gil lost it. Flipped. Went ballistic, bananas, ape shit; so many descriptions, but they all boiled down to one thing, or three. ‘Blah, blah, blah.’ Gil hated and loathed this non-word. He had, always; he looked on it as a poor excuse for language and for some reason Nick had just acquired the use of the word. Where Nick had picked up the habit Gil did not know, but the tension of the previous three weeks erupted.

“I really do not know where on EARTH you picked up that inanity but would you stop using it and act like a FUCKING ADULT. You’ve been SHOT for chrissakes, you’ve endured major surgery, major therapy, major personal upheaval and all you can come up with is ‘blah’?

“I’m working my job and I come home to find you’ve nearly knocked yourself out doing something you shouldn’t have done….you’re SUPPOSED TO BE RESTING. I want to take care of you, chat with you, tell night, how much I've missed you and what do I find - a guy so fucked up he can’t hold a fork full of food to his mouth he’s so tired and whose conversation consists of pathetic childish drivel.”

“There’s no need to shout.” Nick was very, very quiet.

Gil stopped dead. “Oh, God, Nicky, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to shout…or say such things….”

“…maybe not, but you did. You shouted and ranted at me, you think I’m a juvenile, not able to converse with you; that’s what you think.”

“I don’t….”

“…oh, yes you do, you said I was childish…that’s worse than juvenile.”

“Nick, I got mad because I’m worried about you…you shouldn’t be doing anything just yet, it’s still too soon and you’re worn out, you should just rest up and let me take the slack.”

“I wanted to do something for you, and you don’t want me.”

“I didn’t say that at all, you’re putting words in my mouth.”

“You’re angry at me and shouted and called me…childish. I didn’t put those words in your mouth.”

“No. I am sorry. Please forgive me? Please?”

“Do you still want me?”

Gil actually laughed, which didn’t actually help his cause. Actually.

“You think this is funny; you shouting and now laughing at me?” Nick hadn’t raised his voice but managed to convey so much hurt in his quietness, that Gil was immediately contrite.

Gil put one hand over Nick’s hands, which rested on the kitchen table. Their breakfasts lay forgotten, becoming cold and congealing before them. Gil responded quietly and calmly.

“I think, Nicky Stokes, that we…okay, me, just had out first argument. I am sorry. I love you and I’m worried about you. I want you to rest and I want to take care of you. I know mostly, normally, you care for me…but just now you must let me do the caring. And Nicky? I think, that over the coming years before we get to be real old - I think we’re going to have a lot more fights…it’s normal…well, I think it is.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? That’s it, I’m forgiven?”

“Not entirely. You gotta get back in my good graces.”

“I know. I am sorry, sweetheart, but even though I know you’re making a good recovery, I’m still very worried about you…you were…shot.” Gil still had difficulty using the ‘shot’ word, except, apparently, when he was ranting and raving at Nick.

“I know. Trouble is, I’m bored shitless, babe. I know I tire easily, but I just wanna do something. When I started making this breakfast I was really hungry and felt good, but I got tired so quick and I knew you’d be pissed. I knew it.” Nick tried a tentative smile.

Gil leaned over the table towards him and smiled back at Nick. “You’re such a….” Gil stopped, he realised he was going to say ‘tease’, since Nick’s own contrition and smile had gone straight to Gil's groin and he could feel the heat stirring up, literally, his cock.

“What am I?”

“The man I love.”

“Really? You weren’t going to say that were you…it was something else…what?”

“Nothing.” Gil knew he couldn’t lie to Nick, and his face betrayed him.

“Yeah, looks like nothing. Come on, spill ’em.”

“It’s just…well…honestly, it’s nothing.”

“Come on, you’re worrying me now….you’re never stuck for words.”

“No. Digging a hole here and about ready to jump in it.”

“Jump.”

“I've got a hard–on.”

“Riigghhtt. So arguing and shouting gives you a sexual thrill….”

“….NO….no, of course it doesn’t. YOU give me the sexual thrill, that sexy little smile you have, aimed directly at my groin.” Gil stopped and considered a moment. “Yes, it’s definitely my groin; the whole area is overheating, not just my cock, but my balls too.”

“You know I’m tired; I think we should go to bed, together, and then we could…and then we could sleep and then you could get up and get me something to eat.”

“Oh, no, no, no. No way. Nicky you’re still far too fragile for any sexual activity; I’m going to have to wait until you’re better.”

“Okay, you can wait, if you want, but you’re going to have to do me man, ‘cause I’m bursting. I nearly jerked off in the shower after you’d gone to work, today and yesterday, but I thought I’d save myself for you, so I thought I could lie back and think….of England; but I don’t know why I would want to think of England.”

“So you want to have me….fellate you?”

“You say it so sexily, babe. Yeah, suck my brains out through my dick.” Nick virtually growled out his instructions and Gil groaned and palmed his face. He was caught like a rat in a trap.

“If I hurt you Nick, I would never forgive myself.”

“I was shot in the lung, Gil, not the dick.”

“I know.”

“Marilyn said we could do it, as long as it wasn’t strenuous…you heard her.”

“I know.”

“If you don’t do it, I’ll have to do it myself.”

“I know.”

“I could hurt myself in the process.”

“I know.”

“Have you lost the power of coherent speech, too much blood drained away?”

“No. I’m steeling myself up to agree with you. I want you so badly Nicky, don’t let me get carried away and hurt you.”

“Like you would.”

“I would never do it intentionally, but when you want to make love to the man you love, well, I may get carried away with the passionate moment and unintentionally hurt you.”

“You are an old romantic; tell me this, Dr Grissom, are you thinking that you might want to penetrate me?”

“God, yes, I do. I know we talked about it a lot and never got around to doing it, but I want you my love, believe me.”

“I think you should.”

“NOT NOW…not yet, Nicky, for God’s sake!”

“Nooooo, even wanting you as much as I do, I think that’s gonna have to wait a few more weeks. But, what about you? Are you gonna let me?”

“Of course. I can hardly ask you to let me, if I’m not willing to give it a go….maybe I’m a bottom, I don’t know.”

“Wow, am I looking forward to that…to both really, something good to wait for.”

“Yes. Come on my horny little invalid, let’s go to bed.”

“Hey, less of the ‘little’, babe.” Nick let Gil pull him up from the seat and into his arms. Nick felt so calm and safe in Gil’s hug. He knew he’d infuriated Gil by using ‘blah’, because he knew full well that Gil hated anyone using it…but he wasn’t about to tell Gil that…well, not at the moment anyway!

Nick lifted his mouth up to Gil’s and glanced up at Gil’s eyes and then looked down at his lips and had the audacity – or so Gil thought – to smirk. ‘Doesn’t he always get his own way?’ Gil smirked back.

As their bodies pressed together they felt their erections touch the other’s body. They pulled apart.

“God, Nicky, I’ve missed you.”

“I’m back, babe.”

“Yes. You are; come on, let’s get to bed.”

“All eager now?” Nick chuckled.

“I always was, but I’m worried about hurting you.”

“If you hurt me I’m sure I’ll let you know about it.”

“Make sure you do let me know, don’t you dare suffer in silence.”

“When was I ever silent?”

“True.”

They’d arrived at their bedside and once again Gil took Nick in his arms and kissed him, this time pushing his tongue into Nick’s mouth. Feeling Nick’s tongue engage with his, he was overwhelmed with love and desire for Nick. He pulled away from Nick.

“Come on, let’s get our clothes off. Here.”

Gil started to pull Nick’s tee shirt over his head, careful not to pull too hard on Nick’s left arm; it still hurt to extend it fully, pulling on his damaged chest muscles. But the tee was soon tossed over his shoulder. He smoothed his hands over Nick’s chest and then stood back and looked at the scar. For a bullet wound it was neat, Dr Hollis had made a good job of the surgery. The straight line was about six inches long, with a bump and round scar not quite in the middle, where the bullet must have entered. Below the scar was another small round scar where Nick’s chest drain had been inserted. The wounds were healed up but still bright pink and raised. They would fade eventually.

Nick was pissed. He secretly liked…well it wasn’t a secret to Gil…his smooth hairless chest, with its rippled muscles and flawless skin and now he had this ugly scar to contend with. But Gil bent down and gently kissed, butterfly kisses, along the length of the scar and then beneath to the small round scar.

“Kissing it better?”

“If I could, I would. Pants off; come on, lie down and rest and let me do the work.”

“That sounds a bit clinical.”

“It’s not clinical, it’s sensible. I want to get you into a comfortable position before I start chewing on a particular body part.”

Nick gulped. “Chewing?”

“Chewing, I thought, kissing, licking, and sucking of course….”

“Cut the talk, get down to it Gil, now.”

“Bossy.”

Nick was seated on the bed now and had undone his own pants and was sliding both his pants and briefs down his legs. He shook off his slippers and his pants hit the floor.

He then eased himself back onto the bed and swung his legs up onto the bed. His hard cock was bobbing up and down at the movement and the head glistening with a fair amount of pre-ejaculate, which had seeped out. Gil grinned at the sight. His poor lover was desperate; there was no doubt about that. Gil was looking at Nick and had a serious expression on his face.

“Someone in this room is way over dressed and thinking too hard…and it ain’t me.”

“Ah; that would be me. I’m just considering how best to keep you comfortable…supported, and I think if I lay a pillow along you left side and slightly under you, it will you give you some support.”

“Gil Grissom, get your clothes off now and kneel between my legs and suck me off. Those are my explicit instructions and I want you to follow them…NOW!”

“Right. Clothes coming off now.”

Gil smirked at Nick as he slowly peeled his shirt off, followed by his tee shirt. He unzipped his pants and undid his belt and button and pushed his pants and boxers down his legs - only to come to a stop when he realised that he still had his shoes on and the pants wouldn’t go anywhere with his shoes still on. He bent down and tried to get one shoe off and hopped around in a very ungainly fashion as the stubborn shoe refused to move.

He ended up bent over with his ass in the air and facing Nick.

“Nice ass. I can just glimpse your balls too. Do you think it would help to sit down?”

At that moment Gil fell backwards onto the bed anyway, having lost his balance. He was shaking his head.

“That was me doing a sexy strip.” He was laughing.

“Really? I mean, really?” Nick was about to erupt into a laughing fit and grabbed a pillow himself and tucked it into his side to support his wound while he laughed.

“I am offended. I do try, you know.”

“Man, you’re trying alright. Oh, God, this aches - stop making me laugh, you’re supposed to be making me gasp and groan in sexual pleasure.”

“If it hurts I’m not going to.” Gil was suddenly very serious.

“Did I say hurt? Did I? I said ‘aches’; I mean ‘aches’. Come on…please…babe.”

Nick flashed his smile and liquid brown eyes at Gil and Gil would swear that Nick batted his eyelashes at him. He did; he was positive.

“I love you.” Gil had managed to remove shoes, socks, pants and boxers and left them in a heap by the bed. He climbed aboard the bed and fixed the pillow along Nick’s side to provide maximum support.

Nick ran his hand over Gil’s head feeling the soft curls beneath his hand, the action caused Gil to shiver and his cock to jerk back to its previously hard state. He leaned up and over Nick and kissed him.

The kiss was hard and then soft, sloppy and consuming. Both men groaned at its intensity; the first really passionate, sexual kiss they’d shared for over three weeks. Their mouths were hot, their tongues insistent, taking turns in each other’s mouth. Gil felt Nick start to gasp into this mouth and pulled away immediately.

Nick was gasping slightly but managed a smile. “Don’t even think it; I’m okay, just a little breathless, is all.”

“I know, trying to remain calm here.”

“Stop being calm, man, and start being pro-active.”

“Is it me or you taking on the role of supervisor here?”

“Man, I’m desperate, look how desperate.” Nick looked at his own cock, throbbing and leaking and, seemingly at will, it jerked. “See he knows what’s going on and how frustrating you’re being. Please?”

“Okay.” Gil was chuckling and decided that if he was quick about this it would be better for Nick anyway.

Gil kissed the side of Nick’s neck and without leaning on him, kissed and licked his way around his neck from ear to ear and gently ran his tongue around the shell of each ear. Nick moved his head from side to side to accommodate Gil’s lips and tongue. Gil pulled back from Nick and without any more preamble latched his mouth on Nick’s right nipple, so conveniently placed for him.

He licked it and then took the small brown nub between his teeth and worried it for a few moments, and then looked up when Nick squeaked.

“What was that?”

Nick, embarrassed by his own squeak, immediately provided the correct answer. “I’ve been shot Gil, you have to make allowances.” He then grinned at Gil’s raised eyebrows.

“Mmmmm, I wonder how long you’ll be using that excuse for making mouse like noises?”

“I’ll be Jerry, you can be Tom, just do me…okay?”

“There’s something so wrong about that.” But Gil promptly turned his attention back to the nipple, licking it again and teasing it with his teeth while his eyes looked up at Nick who suppressed the sounds he really wanted to make.

“Hey Gil, stop, stop for a moment.”

“You okay?” Gil was instantly worried.

“Will you move Scout for me? He’s staring right at me.”

“The…..bear…the bear is staring at you? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, really I am, but he’s fixed me with a glassy stare and man, it’s putting me off.”

“The bear is putting you off?” Gil looked down at Nick’s tumescent erection. “It doesn’t look like it to me.” He grasped Nick’s cock and after rubbing his thumb over the moistened head he then gave the cock several exploratory strokes up and down. Nick’s ass came off the bed and he gasped for breath.

“Maybe not, then….don’t….stop please….don’t stop… babe, I need…to come….please?”

“How could I ignore such plaintive begging?”

Gil shuffled his body down the bed and kneeled between Nick’s legs. He glanced up at Nick and did think he looked desperate. He smiled one last smile before he descended onto his cock. Both his hands anchored Nick’s hips to the bed.

He put his mouth down onto the wonderful erection and licked around the exposed glans and then plunged his mouth down.

Creating a vacuum he then pulled back up and then down again, each time a little more of the erection went into his mouth and each time licking around the smooth hardness. He listened to Nick gasping for breath, acutely aware of the fine line between his pleasure at being sucked and any discomfort.

“Gil, God….not….going….to last…please…”

Gil thought it would be best to do this quickly, and frankly he was trying to find some purchase for his own leaking and aching dick. He took his right hand from Nick’s left hip and grasped the base of Nick’s erection and in conjunction with his mouth he pumped it, holding it firmly, pumping it in time with his mouth sucking and his tongue licking he could feel the first spasm of Nick’s orgasm, and even as he thought the thought he felt the first ejaculate flood his mouth. Trying hard not to gag and to keep the pressure of his mouth on Nick’s cock he heard Nick’s whimper as his desperation was soothed.

“Gil. Oh god, babe; wow….wow….” His voice trailed away as he finished emptying the accumulated fluid from his balls. He was swamped with pleasure and release and his body relaxed into the bed. He couldn’t move even if he’d wanted to.

For all Gil’s teasing of Nick and his desperation, Gil too, was consumed by his own desperation. There was nothing to rub his own dick on in his position between Nick’s legs, so he’d released Nick’s penis with his hand but kept hold of the rapidly deflating morsel with his mouth, swirling his tongue around to capture all Nick’s ejaculate and to clean him up.

Gil’s right hand took a firm hold of his own dick and in one, two, three tight pumps of his hand he was bucking his hips and unloading over his hand, his thighs and the sheet beneath. There was a lot and his balls were contracting and sending shivers up his spine, and his asshole was twitching.

He pulled his mouth from Nick’s penis and moved over Nick and flopped down beside Nick’s right side. Nick‘s eyes were closed and his breathing was laboured, but Gil knew that it wasn’t caused by his injury. He, too, was finding it difficult to catch his breath; his knees felt like Jello.

Gil lifted Nick’s hand up to his lips and kissed the fingers. He murmured, “I love you.”, but thought Nick was too far gone to hear. For a few minutes he just lay there recovering his senses and watching Nick as he calmed down.

“You staring at me?”

“Yep. You okay?”

“What do you think?”

“That you should rest and sleep now. Did it hurt you?”

“Coming? Hurt me? Only my balls, they feel like they’ve been squeezed tight.”

“Maybe that’s why you squeaked.”

“Me? Squeak?” He very nearly squeaked again, but couldn’t contain his laughter.

“Yes, you.”

“Hey, are you okay, did you get to….”

“I took things into my own hand…I couldn’t wait any longer.”

“And tell me…would that wet spot be anywhere near me?”

“Very probably between your legs on the sheets….and over my hand here.” He waved said hand in front of Nick. “And on my own legs, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Gross man, and I’m sick and you’re gonna make me sleep on the wet spot?”

“I’ll go get a cloth and wipe it off and I can put a towel over it, but I daren’t risk lying to your left in case I hurt you in my sleep.”

“You wouldn’t hurt me….” Nick’s speech started to peter out; he was very tired and he was about to become almost comatose, but he was happy and very relieved.

Gil watched as his eyes closed and his eyelashes fluttered momentarily on his cheek; he was asleep, with a smile on his face. He made himself get out of bed and go to the bathroom. He took a quick shower and chuckled to himself at Nick’s ‘squeak’, he realised he had fodder for substantial teasing and he wouldn’t let that go to waste.

A few minutes later he joined his lover in their bed; not many minutes later he too was sleeping soundly.

That short sexual encounter broke the ice, and Gil felt more confident about sex, and in the process, not hurting Nick; and Nick was just more confident. He worked hard at his rehabilitation and Marilyn proclaimed him a star patient.

Nick resumed his sessions with Ed. Ed came to the house for the first few times to keep Nick in a comfortable environment. But Nick was better than either Gil or Ed had hoped. He was sad at his parent’s rejection, but he’d broken the link some years before and he’d realised during his work with Ed that he was the victim of the relationship and he shouldn’t beat himself up about it, but nevertheless Ed provided the support to enable both men to move forward.

Of the two men, Gil was the most disturbed by the shooting. He blamed his inertia at the lab for letting the situation with Sara escalate; although he acknowledged that no one would have suspected such a deep seated psychosis existed.

The journals she’d kept gave a detailed insight into her mind in the weeks following her dismissal. Gil hadn’t read them and had no desire, whatsoever, to do so; Nick, on the other hand, hoped to be able to get a look at them. He did feel sorry for her, despite his injury, she was not in her right mind and he acknowledged that. He was pragmatic in his thoughts on the matter. He’d had enough childhood trauma, there was no guessing why he’d coped and in the end, she hadn’t.

But in Nick’s eyes it was all over.

His parent’s knew all they had to know and they’d rejected him. That wasn’t his fault, but at least he’d had the chance to tell them to their faces. It was their choice and he accepted that.

Sara had been severely mentally ill and she had intended to kill him – but she hadn’t; he’d survived and she was dead.

And Gil. He had Gil. That was the single best thing that had ever happened to him. He’d spent hours in the hospital after his parents had left and Gil had returned to work, thinking about Gil. Gil had stuck by him and he was absolutely certain of Gil's love for him. Nick knew he could whine when he wanted to and he was trying to address that little matter, but sometimes Gil just asked for it and Nick had a sneaking suspicion that if he whined nicely, he’d have Gil wrapped around his little finger for a long time. It was just a matter of fine tuning.

Nick was itching to get back to work and he was really getting stronger by the day and had been able to start gentle exercising. He was working on his chest muscles to build up the left side to compensate for the injury and the right side from their inertia following the shooting.

Marilyn ensured he did take it easy and with her nagging and Gil's reinforcement of that nagging…and vice versa, he did make sure it was a gentle process; he had no real desire to overdo it and suffer a set back, despite his impatience.

Dr Hollis and Marilyn both pronounced him fit for light duties and the LVPD’s medical officer agreed that he could return to work gradually; half a shift each night for a week, and then review it. The one stipulation from everyone, the medics, the sheriff and, naturally, Gil; he was confined to the lab - no field work whatsoever – until the all clear, primarily from Dr Hollis and the LVPD medical officer.

He could live with that; he realised that he wasn’t up to anything strenuous but to be at work would be a great psychological boost for him. His return had been arranged for the following week.

In the meantime Nick had been googling ‘anal sex’ like mad. So mad in fact that virtually every time Gil walked through the doors of the house, he demanded sex…there and then. Gil had no option but to give in to Nick’s very frequent demands.

Of course it was a chore, but, as he said to Nick, ‘Someone’s got to do it.’

So do it they did, every which way they could that meant Nick was comfortable and not hurting. Every which way except in the way Nick wanted it.

‘Gilllll.’ He tried whining quite often; no luck.

‘Gil, do it.’ He tried authoritative fairly often; still no luck

‘Gil, please do it.’ He tried nice even more often; and still no luck.

He then tried a web site that sold sex toys. “Hey Gil, don’t need you, I can get one of these beauties and do it myself.” He’d told Gil as he walked through the door following work. “I’ll just get my credit card.”

When he returned to the computer to complete his purchase Gil was sitting in his place.

“Come on Gil, let me sit down.”

“There is no way I’m letting you buy this contraption, for fuck’s sake Nicky, you could damage…hurt yourself.”

“Nah...I don’t think so…I’ll give it a go.”

“No.”

“Excuse me, Gil Grissom, you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do…well at home you can’t.”

“You will not buy this thing.”

“Really; and how, exactly, are you going to stop me?”

“If you are that desperate Nicky, I’ll do it.”

“YES! A RESULT!”

“You weren’t going to buy it were you? You were waiting for me to walk through the door?”

“It worked.”

“You are a manipulative….you’ve got me hook, line and sinker, haven’t you?”

“I think I have, babe. Do you mind?”

“No; I love you. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m scared, to be truthful; I’ve never done it before, it’s a big step and it could hurt you and I’d never forgive myself.”

“Hey, babe? I think that the possibility of you hurting me is like, zero. It’s going to uncomfortable, we both know that, but preparation is the key, jeez, I’ve read so much about it I could do it in my sleep.”

“Should I be afraid?”

“Very.”

“If you want, you can try with me first.”

“Nope…I want it first, I asked first. But I will try it with you…of course, there is the remote chance that I will hate it after all…I could be a top…although I don’t think so…because I think my real…desire…yeah…desire for it, makes me a ‘bottom’. You may not like it either.” Nick mused out loud about the whole ‘operation’.

“True. We’d better find out….but not now…it all seems a bit clinical, discussing it as we have.”

“Hey, we’re scientists aren’t we…going about the investigation and gathering the evidence and reaching a conclusion. Seems the right way to me…it’s how we are. But come on, let’s eat first and just see how the cookie crumbles?”

“Good idea; I smell something good…on the stove, or in the oven?”

“Stove, I've got a chilli simmering.”

“Hot stuff?”

“Not as hot as you.”

“I can live with that. Come here.” Unusually, because of Nick’s preoccupation with his sex toy, they hadn’t kissed since Gil had arrived home.

A sloppy kiss was exchanged and Gil started chuckling, even as their lips remained attached. Nick pulled back from their kiss but they still had their arms around each other.

“What, man?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“You have my ass whipped. I said ‘hook, line and sinker’. It’s the truth isn’t it?”

“Yep. You got a problem with that?”

“Do I look as if I do?”

“Nope.”

“I haven’t…but I must say that is primarily because you’re generally a sound decision maker when it comes to me.”

“Really? Primarily? Is there a second reason?”

“There might be.”

“This is interesting. Spill the beans.”

“No; not going to. I have to have some secrets.

“Right. We’ll see about that.”

“Dinner?”

“Coming up.”

They chatted about work over dinner and Gil made the decision that all chillies must be made by Nick from now on, since he had the ‘knack’.

After dinner was cleared away, they sat on the sofa and watched the news channel for a little while, just cuddled together. Gil had never considered himself a ‘cuddler’, not ever; but he had no choice with Nick because Nick did cuddle and Gil found that he liked it…a great deal.

“You’re avoiding aren’t you?” Nick whispered against Gil’s side.

“Oh yes.” Gil chuckled; “I can’t fool you then?”

“Nope. How about a JD, over ice, help chase the chilli down and help loosen us up a bit; then a hot shower and then we could go to bed and see what…happens….”

“Mmmm, sounds like a plan.”

“Oh God, Gil you’re really worried aren’t you…look if you don’t…

“…I do, Nicky, I do…I’m just really nervous…I can’t remember being this nervous before…not even the first time we kissed…”

“…I remember that…you had premature ejaculation!”

“I did not...well, I did, but it was due to the…circumstances!”

“Yeah…yeah…I believe you, man.”

“It hasn’t happened since.”

“True.”

Without realising it both men had relaxed quite considerably with their banter.

“Okay; I’ll go put the shower on to warm the water, you get the JD…actually I think I’ll have a brandy, cognac, instead…I think we deserve a shot of the good stuff.”

“Good thinking…you still want ice?”

“No…heathen.”

“Man, liquor’s liquor and that’s all there is to it.”

“This is French cognac…it’s the real McCoy.”

“Is that like Bones in Star Trek? You know, ‘it’s life Jim…but not as we know it’?”

“Star Trek…is that some part of Star Wars?”

“You know darn well it isn’t; now git, and start that shower.”

“Going.”

“You’re still sitting on the couch.”

“Thinking about going.”

“Gil.” Nick did a non physical stamping of his foot.

“You’re so gay when you’re petulant.”

“I’ll give you gay, man, I've been injured you know, you’re supposed to be on a guilt trip.”

“I think you may have pulled that particular stunt once too often.”

Gil just managed to dodge the cushion Nick had flung his way; he got up from the couch and caught Nick in an embrace, lifting him off the floor slightly as he hugged him.

Nick’s arms were wrapped around Gil’s neck holding on and he laughed; Gil dropped Nick to the floor and looked him in the eyes, their proximity nearly causing him to be cross-eyed. His humour left him as he then looked down at Nick’s lips.

Wide and sensual, the remains of his laugh still evident at the slightly upturned lips and dimples on his cheeks.

“Oh, Nick, you’re extraordinarily beautiful.”

“Am I? More than your bugs?”

“You know you are.”

“And gay?”

“Gay. Thank goodness for that is all I can say; my good fortune to discover that I was that way inclined too, after all these years. And you were right there waiting for me, d’you…”

“There you go again, man.”

“What?”

“You do this a lot, say that you can’t say anything, you’re dumbstruck, and then you rattle off a load of reasons why you are, but do you know what?”

“What?”

“I love you for it. Do you really think I’m beautiful?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think it.”

“’Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.”

“Then my eyes behold your beauty.”

“That’s…that’s really romantic.”

“I feel romantic. I’m not saying too much; don’t want to be accused of rattling off platitudes.”

“Take no notice of me, just do it.”

“Make love to you?”

“Yeah. Cognac?”

“Yeah; I’ll go and start the shower.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Gil couldn’t resist a kiss. He leaned in and softy brushed Nick’s lips with his own and then, using just the tip of his tongue, ran it over Nick lips. The tip of Nick’s tongue emerged from his mouth and they gently licked at each other. Gil pulled back to look at Nick once more, than released him from his arms, slapped him gently on the ass and left immediately for the bathroom.

After starting the shower he returned to their bedroom and put the two small bed side lamps on and then opened the drawer to the bedside cabinet and retrieved lubricant and a box of condoms. He grinned to himself, he doubted either of them could use up a box in one session. So he pulled out three and left them on the cabinet.

He started to undress and Nick came into the room carrying two drinks…one with ice which Nick flaunted at Gil. Gil shook his head at the audacity, but as he pushed his boxers down his legs, Nick forgot his drink and admired the view. Gil was forever going on about his ass, but Gil's was in a league of its own. Much larger than Nick’s, that was for sure, but rounded and firm and in Nick’s humble opinion, a truly magnificent specimen.

He left the drinks on the cabinet and noticed the preparations Gil had already made, smiling conspiratorially. He then pulled off his clothing and unceremoniously dumped it on the floor as he walked to the bathroom. He was with Gil in the shower in seconds.

Gil was washing his hair and, as was his usual practise now, using Nick’s shampoo to do so.

“Hey, thief.”

“Prove it; I washed my fingerprints and epithelials off the bottle.”

“Typical; if ever I go missing tell the police.”

“I’m hardly likely to if I've murdered you, will I…although I suppose it would throw them off the scent.”

“Hey, have you given this some thought?”

“No…but now you mention it….”

“I’d better watch my back.”

“Oh, I definitely think you should wash your back.”

“Watch!”

“That as well.”

They both soaped themselves down and washed but so far hadn’t touched each other but both had erections, bobbing around as they moved. It seemed as if they were both studiously ignoring them. Suddenly Gil stood still.

“Oh God, Nicky, I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Mentioning…murder. Fuck it, Nicky, I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean too…”

“…stop it, Gil. It’s over; I lived, she died, we can’t change any of it. Just gotta move on; thinking you can’t say this or can’t say that, it’s ridiculous, now snap out of it.” Nick accompanied his little homily to Gil by grasping his dick with a soapy hand and tugging it back to hardness in several strokes.

“Is that the positive reinforcement of your message?”

“You could say.”

“Stop it, I’m sorry and I’ll try to do better…but you’re coping better than me; if you keep pumping me like that…I’m gonna come…and then where will you be?”

Nick immediately stopped. “Right, cold water for you.” He flicked the faucet to cold and jumped out of the shower, leaving Gil momentarily deluged in cold water.

“Aaaaahhh.” Gil made a speedy exit too, but turned the water back up to hot to return and swill the soap from his body. “You may have to pay for that, Stokes.”

“Bring it on!”

Gil rinsed his body down and could feel the heat in his dick and balls. The very thought of being with Nick could make him this way…he could hardly believe how much his life had changed in the last few months….most things for the better. Fuck Sara Sidle.

And when he dried himself off and dumped the towel he made his way into the bedroom. Nick had laid himself on the bed like an all day buffet. He was gently tweaking his own right nipple with his left hand and rubbing his right hand around, but not on, his dick. It was hard and upright and just waiting…..waiting for Gil.

Gil joined him by crawling up the bed towards him; Nick spread his legs to let Gil settle between them. Gil was on his knees and lay over Nick, supporting himself with his arms on either side of Nick and then leaned down and captured Nick’s mouth in a searing kiss.

They battled and duelled as their lips and tongues and teeth came into contact with each other. Their tongues flicking around each other’s mouth, exploring already familiar territory.

They had to pull away from each other just a little, to gasp for breath and look at each other. Gil could never quite get over the sight of Nick’s eyes; normally chocolate brown and clear, in passion they became almost black with lust and wet as if they were about to cry, making Nick look both debauched and innocent, if such a look was possible.

Nick saw Gil’s dark blue eyes had also become darker and almost black, but saw strength and desire in the eyes as they looked down on him. Nick reached up and brought their lips together again, this time in a softer kiss, gently probing. Gil, who’d been resting on his arms, lay down on Nick’s right side, lying over Nick’s right leg. Nick responded by pulling the leg up and latching it onto Gil's back.

“I’ll cut off your blood supply off, here….” Gil moved back up and pulled Nick’s compliant leg underneath him so that they were lying side by side although they were as close as two people could be - without being conjoined.

Gil’s lips made a lazy path down Nick’s jaw and kissed the flesh; there was sufficient beard growth to make it slightly rough. He nipped at the skin with his teeth and then licked it and Nick pulled back to do the same to Gil, but making a licking motion along Gil's Adam’s apple that had Gil gasping. Who knew that Gil’s neck was such an erogenous zone…certainly not Gil…until very recently?

Nick’s fingers were seducing Gil's nipples as he kissed his skin; feeling the nub of one and then the other. Twisting them in his fingers and pulling them and then moving his mouth over them to lick and calm them. Nevertheless, they stood hard and erect after a few moments.

Gil returned the favour with Nick…he had such fabulously neat little nipples and Gil found them so tantalising, more so than any woman’s nipples he’d held between his teeth…not that that he’d had that many women, and certainly no other man. But he didn’t need a woman or another man now, he had Nick, and Nick was perfect.

He made a detour from Nick’ nipples to kiss Nick’s scars; they were healing so well, and Nick diligently applied his anti-scarring cream. But Gil knew he was more pissed about the scars than anything else. To his mind his perfect chest was marred, but in Gil's eyes it was a reminder of just how precious life was and how much he loved Nick. So, whenever the opportunity arose he would kiss the scars and try to make sure Nick knew that he couldn’t care less about them. He loved them as he loved Nick; they were a part of him.

Little did he know that Nick was working up to tell Gil, that he would prefer not to be reminded about them every time they lay together; but Nick felt that Gil needed to re-assure himself that he was healed and would be okay.

Gil soon left the scars behind to move back to Nick’s nipples. Ensuring that they were still firm…hard to the touch of the tip of his tongue. He then leaned up and captured Nick’s mouth again; wanting to remind himself of the taste, the flavour of his lover.

He pulled away and looked into Nick’s eyes. Nick chuckled and at Gil’s raised eyebrows said, “You hair is wild, babe, all those curls, untamed and all over the place. I like your curly hair.”

“It’s okay, but as a boy I loathed it; it would never do what I wanted and, of course, Mom used to like it longer; she liked the curls.”

“I love them, they suit you…and they match your pubic hair.” He laughed out loud.

“Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome; rest over, get back to work.”

“You’re getting to be so bossy; you need to be taught a lesson.” Gil dived down and started nipping and licking around Nick’s belly button, for whatever reason this always sent Nick into a paroxysm of laughter and giggles…yes, they were giggles…and he would squirm and twist to avoid the contact but only succeed in Gil getting even closer to him and more insistent at the delicious torture.

Gil moved downwards and Nick ran his hands over Gil’s errant curls, now that he’d gained a little control after the ticklish torture. But Gil hadn’t finished the torture. He nibbled and licked and used his hands to stroke all around Nick’s groin, smoothing his pubic hair, which unlike Gil's curly profusion, was quite light and almost straight.

He lifted a ball in its sack and weighed it in his hand and rolled it around and then repeated the task with the other ball and then took them together and rolled them back and forth in his hand.

He then tipped his head down and took one of the balls in his mouth sucking the sac and the ball into his mouth and rolling it around with his tongue. Nick’s hips lifted, involuntarily, off the bed at the delicious, hot and wet sensation. Just as he got used to it, Gil released it and took the other ball into his mouth.

Nick groaned. “Babe, man, Gil, you are sooooo good at this sex…you know that?”

Gil released his package to respond. “I was always a good student, Nicky, diligent, did my homework.”

“It’s paying off, if you ask me.”

“Why, thank you.”

“Now get on with it.”

“Now what have I told you about being bossy?”

“You gotta teach me a lesson?”

“Exactly.”

Gil slipped his right hand beneath Nick’s ass and pushed his middle fingering and around Nick’s crack and anus. Nick bucked his hips up automatically to allow Gil more access and groaned, ‘oh yes’, at the same time.

They’d done this before. In fact, Gil had inserted his fingers and stimulated Nick’s prostate so well that he’d managed to ejaculate without any other stimulation. Gil was going to have to be careful not to over stimulate Nick in the same manner tonight, he needed to penetrate Nick, if he could, without pain, and use his dick to do what his fingers had done before.

Gil continued to rub the outside of Nick’s anus, but stretched back up to kiss Nick again. This kiss was lazy and sloppy, and Gil marvelled at the way they could kiss in so many ways. Before Nick, a kiss had been a kiss. Now it was an art form; he chuckled against Nick’s lips at his own thoughts and Nick pulled away and asked the silent question.

“I love you.”

“That’s okay then.”

“Shall I do it?”

“Yes, please.”

“So polite.”

“Should get me what I want.”

“It will. How do you want to play this, Nicky? You need be the most comfortable you can be…it’s less than eight weeks since….your injury.”

“You mean when I was shot? You can say it, I won’t faint.”

“No, you won’t, but I might.” Gil chuckled at Nick’s eye roll. “Not nice when I’m about to make some serious love to you.”

“’Serious love’…that’s got a nice ring to it…on my back, babe, facing you. I need to see you, I love to see your face…especially when you come and this is going to be spectacular…I just know it. But cut the chat, let’s get down to business.”

“It’s not me…you’re the one who’s going on…are you nervous…I am.”

“Yeah; but excited too…it’s going to be good…I know it.”

Gil got onto his knees and knelt between Nick’s legs. He noticed that both their erections had flagged a little from being rock hard a few minutes before. It wouldn’t take much for him to be back up and paying attention, but he wondered how Nicky would cope with the…penetration. It was going to be uncomfortable at best and downright painful at worst.

He leaned over to the bedside cabinet and retrieved the lube and a condom. He put the condom by his legs and squeezed a liberal amount of the lube onto the fingers of his right hand. Without preamble and with a smirk he put the middle finger straight into Nicky’s anus. He felt the muscle contract as he did so and Nick, seeing and expecting the intrusion, barely flinched.

“Okay?”

“You’ve done it before…don’t panic…just you find my prostate.”

“Giving out orders again?”

“Good orders.” Nick then jumped as Gil's finger did indeed brush over his prostate and his erection revived itself in the blink of an eye. Gil grinned.

He spent a few minutes rubbing around the entrance and soothing the anal sphincter muscle; getting it used to being breached before he slid another finger. When he did slide in his index finger to join the other one, Nick opened his legs wider and caught his legs with his own hands behind the knees to hold them in position.

“If this becomes uncomfortable let me know…I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Get over yourself already will you…it doesn’t hurt and I will shout if it does…give me more…I want more, this feels real good.”

“Only what I've done before.”

“Yeah, so do more.”

“More…?

“…please…bastard.”

“I think now’s the time you should be really nice to me, Nicky Stokes.”

“Jeez…Gil - DO IT!” Nick was becoming frustrated at Gil's slow pace, but also at the fingers…they were creating a friction he’d experienced before with Gil and he wanted more…now.

“Okay, okay.” Gil inserted another finger, and this was new territory. He was stretching the opening more than he’d done before and Nick gasped and momentarily clenched his muscles, but almost as soon as he’d done it, he forced himself to relax.

“Oh yes…more, I need more.” He bucked his ass up into the fingers and grinned at Gil, who was concentrating on his task now. Carefully he moved his fingers with small circular movements and scissored them to stretch the sphincter more. Nick’s erection was now bobbing up and down at the motion and Gil could see the leaking fluid glistening in the light of the bedside lamp.

“Nicky, I think I’m going to try to get in now, are you ready; are you okay?”

“Babe…yes…do it.”

“You don’t hurt…”

“No; honestly.”

“Right.” Gil’s erection had subsided a little while he’d prepared Nick, but as he thought about what he was going to do next his felt the heat flood it as the blood filled it, yet again.

He pulled his fingers out of Nick, to a little whimper, but both men caught each other’s eyes and smiled. Gil tried to get the foil off the condom but his slippery hands made it impossible. Nick took it from his hands and tore it apart and then resting his feet on the bed he rolled it onto Gil’s penis, taking the opportunity to give it several tugs and twists.

Nick then recaptured his own legs and spread them as wide as he could. Gil pulled a pillow from the top of the bed and pushed it under Nick’s hips while Nick hiked them up a little.

Gil took several deep breaths and held his erection in his right hand and was just about to start when he remembered he should actually put more lubrication on the condom. He pulled back and felt around for the bottle. When he’d located it, he once again squeezed an amount onto his hand and then thoroughly lubricated the condom. He used the residue on his hand to push a little more into Nicky, his fingers sliding in again without any problem.

Nick canted his hips up and this time Gil held his own erection and positioned the head at Nick’s entrance. Once again he took several deep breaths.

“Relax, sweetheart.” He murmured to Nick and pushed a little of his erection into Nick. It was probably a little wider than three fingers but it was smoother and slipped in very easily.

Nick was willing himself to relax and felt no pain…just the discomfort of something being pushed where it really didn’t belong. He smiled up at Gil and hoped t would encourage him to go on.

Gil pushed in a little more and Nick groaned; Gil looked up sharply expecting a pain filled face to greet him…it didn’t, and to prove his point Nick bucked his hips up and Gil slipped in a little further causing him to gasp.

He was about half way in and for the first time Gil suddenly became aware of the heat and the tightness. He’d never felt anything like it before. He only had evidence from women he’d had sex with in the past, but this was way hotter and way tighter. He was shocked to find himself panting and really desperate to push, to thrust…the natural action. He was also still deadly worried about Nicky but he seemed very happy, and his erection, which could have been expected to completely deflate, was still strong and throbbing.

Nick clenched his muscles and Gil felt it, his eyes flew up to Nick’s face and met a smug expression.

“Good…sooo good…babe, go on…fuck me, babe.”

Gil tried to smile but it was probably more like a grimace. He wanted to be in and thrusting now…his willpower, to keep it slow…was starting to fray around the edges. He pushed a little more and again Nick bucked up to meet him and without waiting Gil pushed home, he couldn’t help it. He was balls deep in Nicky; though his balls were not slapping freely against Nicky’s ass, they were contracted up towards his body and just waiting to pump home their load.

Gil was gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut; sweat was pouring from him, he could feel it running down his face.

He forced his eyes open to look directly into the eyes of his lover, in the true sense of the word. Nick had tears in his eyes.

“God, Nicky, are you okay?” Gil managed a strangulated gasp of the words out of his mouth.

“I have never…felt better. I have my lover…my lover inside of me as close…as he can get.” Nick sobbed out the last words and tears fell down his cheeks. “Will you quit…staring and move…move?”

“Yeah….okay.” Gil was now entering his worried phase. He was in the tightest and hottest place his erect penis had ever been and he was DESPERATE to thrust but he also feared that one thrust would have him ejaculating and as much as he wanted to do just that, he also wanted to prolong his and Nick’s pleasure.

He tried to think of a word, any word that could explain how he felt. He was in love, and he was certainly in lust…but this was…beyond, beyond anything he’d ever experienced. It was…exquisite…that was the word…’exquisite’.

The few moments of thought had cooled him down and, taking a few deep breaths to replenish his supply of air, he pulled out a couple of inches and pushed straight back in…Nick groaned and let his legs wrap around Gil’s back. This released his hands to capture Gil's face between them and it also altered the position of Gil within Nick. As Gil pulled back again and thrust he must have rubbed Nick’s prostate because Nick bucked up and dug his heels into Gil’s back. There was no way that Gil could keep up the slow pace.

He started to thrust and a rhythm was quickly established; his hips were thrusting his erection into Nick with increasing speed and abandon and to his chagrin he would admit later that he forgot about Nicky in those moments, forgot about any pain he might have inflicted, he was driven by the exquisiteness of the feeling. His groin was on fire, his own ass muscles were contracting with the thrusts and his spine was tingling like it was being exposed to tiny electrical shocks.

He became aware of Nicky gasping with the thrusts he was making; he forced his eyes to open without stopping the rhythm. He saw Nick bucking wildly under him, keeping time with his own thrusts, holding his own huge swollen erection that looked about to burst.

Nick tugged at it quite violently, just once, and the stream of ejaculate spurted out, hitting Gil’s chest as he bent over Nick. The heat of the fluid seared his skin and with a lost rhythm he cried out and bucked erratically a few times as he emptied himself into Nick. He was coming with such force that he thought his balls would push up into his body. The heat in his belly was like nothing he’d ever felt; the pleasure was greater than he’d ever experienced.

He was still for a few moments and gasping for air but was unable to hold himself up any longer and fell down onto Nicky, and subconsciously aware of the injured left side he’d flopped down on the right. The angle caused his penis to pull out of Nicky and he was consciously bereft at the loss of heat. His vision was blurred and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest and drumming in his ears. He became aware that as with Nicky, he too, was crying.

This had been the most intense sexual experience of his life. Despite his heart rate and inability to move or articulate words he felt calmed as never before. He loved.

He was trembling as he lay there, and became aware of someone watching him. He smiled when he thought of the bear watching them but he opened his eyes to see the molten chocolate pools that were Nicky’s eyes, staring at him.

“It was the best, babe. The best ever. Ever. And, before you ask, it didn’t hurt at all…mind over matter, pleasure over everything.

“I tell you that was incredible…really…the best.” Nick knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t really put into words just how great he thought it had been.

“Can’t wait to do it again.” At Gil's raised eyebrows he laughed.

“Cat got your tongue? Can’t you speak?” Nick looked at Gil, who seemed almost in shock, he was suddenly a bit worried.

“Hey, babe, are you okay? Say something…please talk to me…Gil are you okay…seriously….say something.”

Gil smiled at Nick’s concerned face and spoke three little words.

“Blah…blah….blah…”

The End. To be completely concluded, over, finished, done with and utterly finalised with a ‘little’ Epilogue!