Title: The Sound of Breaking Hearts
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: R
Author's Note: Post-ep for the S11 CSI: Vegas episode "Cello and Goodbye," and a sequel to the Greg/Nick fic "At Close Range". Completely unrelated to the other Greg/Nick series that I write.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Nick guided Greg into the living room and to the couch, letting the other man sit down and bury his face in his hands. For a few moments, he just stood there, looking down at Greg, not sure if he should try to offer any kind of physical comfort by holding him.

What was he doing? he chided himself. Greg was obviously in need of comfort, both physically and in other ways. His emotions had to be all over the map right now -- and it shouldn't matter if it was his ex-boyfriend who offered that comfort. He just needed someone to lean on.

Nick sat down beside Greg, only hesitating for a moment before he wrapped his arms around the smaller, slender man, letting Greg lean against him. He wasn't surprised when Greg buried his face against his shoulder, his slender body shaking with sobs.

"Who would kill him?" Greg sobbed into Nick's shoulder. "He was the nicest guy in the world. He never hurt anybody. Why would anybody just shoot him like that? Why did it have to happen to him?" His words were muffled in Nick's shoulder, almost inaudible.

"I don't think he was the target, Greg," Nick told him, trying to soothe the younger man, but knowing that was more or less impossible at the moment. "He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was collateral damage to them."

Greg only sobbed harder at his words; Nick wanted to cry himself. He had never seen Greg this destroyed, not even when they'd had horrible arguments and he'd cried with frustration. He couldn't imagine what the other man was feeling at this moment.

He had never had to deal with the death of a lover; he couldn't begin to understand what Greg must be feeling. He himself had no feeling of triumph; in spite of the fact that Greg had chosen Jonah over him, he had no malice towards the other man. In fact, Nick had rather liked him.

But this wasn't the time to think of his own feelings, whatever they might be. Greg needed him, needed to be held and comforted. Even if his former boyfriend eventually pushed him away and refused his comfort, he felt that he had to give it. Greg couldn't be alone, not right now.

"Shhh, baby, it's going to be okay," he murmured, knowing that his words were false. The person Greg loved had just been killed; how could everything be okay for him again? He would get over this eventually, Nick was sure of it -- but not for a long time.

"I've got to find out who did this," Greg said, trying to push away from Greg and get up. "I've got to go back to the crime scene and get evidence. I've got to work the case." He started to sit up, but Nick held him firmly, shaking his head.

"No, Greg, you don't," he said softly, hoping that he could say the right words, words that would be calming and soothing, words that would make Greg understand that he couldn't be involved in this case. "You're too personally involved. You know you can't be part of this."

"But I have to be," Greg whispered, tears starting to flow again. "I have to find out who did this. For J-Jonah." He stumbled over the name, as though he had difficulty saying it already. "I've got to know who killed him, Nick. I've got to find out why."

"I don't think he was singled out, Greg," Nick said softly, gathering the younger man back into his arms and stroking his hair. "Jonah wasn't the kind of guy who had enemies -- at least, not from what you've told me about him. I think he was just caught in the crossfire."

"I don't care," Greg wailed, raising his head from Nick's shoulder. "I've got to find out who did this. I've got to make them pay. They can't get away with murdering innocent people. They can't!" He was gasping for breath now, the words coming out jerkily, as if they were torn from his throat.

"They're not going to get away with it, Greg," Nick told him, wishing that there was something he could do to calm Greg down, but knowing that this initial spasm of grief had to run its course. He simply had to wait until Greg's more analytic side asserted itself.

Greg was leaning into his embrace again, sobbing as though his heart would break. Nick could feel the tears rising to his own eyes; it was hard to hold back his emotions when he saw the man he loved hurting like this. He wanted to cry right along with Greg.

Nick could swear that all he could hear in the room was the sound of breaking hearts; he was sure that Greg's heart was crumbling with every sob he uttered, and his own was being ripped to shreds with the knowledge that Greg was in pain and that he could do nothing to stop it.

If he could have waved some kind of magic wand and made Jonah alive and whole again, he would have done it. He would have given Greg up to the other man in a second, if it meant that the man he loved would he happy. Seeing Greg cry like this was tearing him up inside.

"I'm so sorry, Greg," he whispered, raising a hand to stroke his fingers through the other man's soft hair. "I wish this hadn't happened. If I could do anything to change it, I would. You have to know that. I just want you to be happy. I hate seeing you cry."

Greg lifted his head from Nick's shoulder, nodding and raising a hand to wipe ineffectually at his tears. "I know," he whispered, his voice hoarse from weeping. "I didn't mean to blubber all over you. I just ...." His eyes filled with tears again; he gulped, unable to get the words out.

"You don't have to apologize, baby," Nick said, his voice steady and quiet. "I know you need a shoulder to cry on right now, Greg. I'm here for as long as you need me." Silently, he added, I'm here for the rest of our lives, if you want me.

He couldn't say those words aloud. Not now, when Greg was still grieving for the man he'd loved and lost in such a violent way. It might be a long time before he could say those words again. And that was what broke his heart, Nick thought to himself.

If only he could make time speed ahead, get Greg past his grief and make him see that the two of them should have another chance. If only he could prove himself to Greg, mend his broken heart, and make the two of them right again. If only he could ....

Nick sighed, wrapping his arms around Greg as the other man leaned into his embrace. Right now, all he needed to think about was what was happening in the moment. He shouldn't try to think ahead, shouldn't try to set up any scenarios for a future that might not come true.

He couldn't imagine how Greg was feeling, but he could be here to offer all the comfort that he could. He only hoped that was enough, and that somehow, him being here when Greg needed him most might bring the two of them closer and mend what had been broken.

All that mattered now was making sure that Greg would be all right. His own needs had to be pushed away; his wish to be with Greg again, to have his former boyfriend back in his life, couldn't be first on his list of priorities. He had to think of Greg now, not himself.

Greg had quieted somewhat; he didn't raise his head from Nick's shoulder, but he was no longer sobbing his heart out. Nick didn't want to move; he was comfortable leaning against the soft cushions of the couch, holding Greg in his arms, just being with him.

This was what he had wanted for so long, to have Greg in his arms again, to feel that they were all right and that they would go on as they had before. But was that really what he wanted? Could they go on as they had been, as if nothing had happened to come between them?

No, they couldn't, he told himself, his heart heavy. He had to change before he could expect Greg to take him back. He had to put his lover first, rather than let work always take the top priority in his life. But that wasn't going to be easy for him to do.

Still, he had to do that. He had to put Greg before his ambitions; he had to decide if his personal life was more important than having some kind of big-shot title at work. He knew in his heart that no kind of promotion, nothing that work could give him, could replace Greg in his life.

There was no question about it. He wanted Greg back; he needed have this man in his arms, in his life, in his heart. Greg had never left his heart, he told himself, raising a hand to stroke the other man's hair, wishing he could hold Greg like this all day and all night.

They would be together again, Nick vowed silently. This wasn't the right time to think about that; he had to give Greg some breathing room to grieve for someone he had loved. But Jonah had said that Greg still loved him; he had to trust in those words.

He could be here for Greg for the rest of their lives. He had learned from his mistakes; if he had another chance with this man, he wouldn't make those mistakes again. He would be the man Greg had always wanted him to be, and he wouldn't risk losing the love of his life a second time.

When Greg was ready, when his broken heart had mended, they would be able to sit down and talk about the possibility of a future together. Nick just hoped that the possibility still existed; if it didn't, then the only sound he would be able to hear was that of his own heart breaking irreparably.

The tears rose to his eyes again at the thought; Nick forced them back, blinking rapidly. This wasn't about him and what he wanted, or even what he was feeling. This was about Greg and his needs, needs that Nick intended to assuage in every way that he possibly could.

He closed his eyes, his arms tightening around Greg, feeling the other man's hot tears against his skin as Greg cried silently, his face pressed against Nick's throat. It might be a long time before Greg was ready to move on, but when he was, Nick knew that he would be ready and waiting.

***

Next story in series - One Too Many.