Title: Breaking Taboos
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: Un-themed 6, mission_insane
Prompt: 1. Taboo
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

"It's really kind of a taboo for us to be here unless we're working, isn't it?" Greg asked as he got out of the car and closed the door, raising a hand to his eyes as he studied the shop that he and Ryan were about to enter. "It's not the kind of place people would expect to see us."

Ryan shrugged, heading for the front door. "What we do in our off time is our business," he said, sounding more confident than he felt. He didn't know just what the other members of the CSI team would think if they saw him and Greg going into a gay sex shop.

But he didn't really care, he told himself defiantly. For all they knew, he was looking for something, and Greg was just a curious friend who was along for the ride. Though the entire crime lab knew that they were both gay, he was fairly certain that none of them knew about the personal relationship.

Well, Nick probably knew, he corrected himself. Still, they both trusted Nick not to go running to Ecklie. Sara, not so much -- and neither of them trusted that Morgan bitch at all. If she knew they were a couple, she'd do anything to split them up, in any way she could.

He wasn't going to think about their colleagues now, he told himself. pushing those thoughts out of his mind. They were here to get something specific, and even if Greg seemed a little embarrassed by it, he'd get over that. Ryan was sure they'd be coming here a lot in the future.

Opening the door, he held out his hand to his boyfriend with a smile. Greg seemed a little hesitant, but his natural curiosity would overcome any qualms he might have about being here. Ryan knew that after a couple of trips to this shop, Greg would more than likely feel right at home here.

Ryan didn't feel uncomfortable in places like this at all; he'd been to enough of them in Miami, even though he usually wasn't involved with anyone or looking for anything specific when he was there. He just felt more at home in places like this than he did in shops that straight couples frequented.

Now, he had a reason to be here, he told himself with an inward smile. He knew exactly what he was looking for now that they were here; he looked around, his gaze taking in the various signs before heading towards the front left-hand corner of the shop.

"Here's what I was looking for," he told Greg, picking up a package of lube and holding it out to his lover for Greg to inspect it. His boyfriend took it, a pink blush spreading over his cheeks as he read the name of the product he was holding in his hand.

"Boy Butter?" he asked, laughing a little nervously. "I've never heard of a lube with that kind of name, even though I've got to admit it's pretty accurate when you think about it." He leaned closer to Ryan to whisper in his boyfriend's ear. "You definitely butter my buns."

It was Ryan's turn to laugh at those words; if Greg could make a joke like that, then he was loosening up about being here even more quickly than Ryan had thought he would. "And I love doing it, too, babe. That's why I needed to come here and stock up."

Greg nodded, looking around them again. Ryan wondered if he was looking for anything specific when Greg darted towards the front door and the stack of baskets that was standing there. He picked one up, dropped the lube into it, and returned to Ryan's side with a smile.

"Just thought we might be getting more stuff, so a basket would be a good idea," he said in reaponse to Ryan's raised eyebrow and unvoiced question. "Now that we're here, we might as well stay for a while and look around, right?" His tone sounded hopeful, eager.

Ryan wanted to laugh aloud, but he held the sound back. Greg might have been hesitant to come into this place, but now that he was here, his uneasiness seemed to have melted away, and he looked as though he was perfectly comfortable being in a gay sex shop with his boyfriend.

He hadn't expected Greg to be this comfortable so soon, but he was glad that was the case. He didn't want to think that his boyfriend's bad experience when he was younger would color the rest of his life; Greg had already started putting tha behind him, but he still had a long way to go.

Ryan wandered over to a display on the wall nearby, Greg following close behind him. "What do you think of these?" he asked, picking up a set of handcuffs and holding them out to Greg. Too late, he realized just how that might make his boyfriend feel.

Greg flinched away from the cuffs, shaking his head. "They're not my thing," he said in a low voice, backing away a few steps. In an instant, he had gone from looking as though he was comfortable here to seeming as if he might drop the basket and bolt out of the door in a heartbeat.

Ryan hastily put the handcuffs back, then reached out to touch Greg's shoulder. He could feel his boyfriend trembling, his muscles taut under Ryan's fingers. "Baby, I'm sorry," he said softly, focusing all of his attention on Greg. "I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have done that."

Greg took a deep breath, then shook his head, seeming to collect himself before he spoke again. "No, that's okay," he said, his voice hoarse. "I can't back away from every little thing that reminds me of .... that time. If I do, then it's always going to haunt me."

Ryan nodded, knowing that Greg was right, but still wishing that he hadn't been so careless. "It's not like bondage is a taboo subject for most people any more, even though I can understand why it bothers you," he said, keeping his tone soft and soothing. "We don't have to talk about it."

"Maybe one day I'll be able to joke about things like that -- and even do them -- without feeling like I want to run away," Greg murmured, his gaze on the floor, as though he couldn't look at Ryan. "But it's still too soon, Ry. I love you and I trust you, but there's still some barriers to get over."

Ryan moved closer to Greg, taking his boyfriend's free hand in his own; he wasn't surprised to realize that Greg's hand was like ice. "Maybe one day those things won't be so taboo for us," he whispered, hoping that his words were true. "We can always work towards that."

"Do you think so?" Greg raised his head, finally looking Ryan in the eye. Ryan could read the fear there -- and the hope that hid behind those fears. Greg wanted them to be able to do things that might seem a little taboo in some ways. He was sure of it.

But he would never rush his boyfriend into any of those things -- and if Greg decided to back off, it wouldn't bother Ryan if they never experimented in that direction. It was enough for him to be with Greg, to love him, and to be loved just as much in return.

They didn't need to bring anything forbidden or taboo into their relationship. The love they shared was enough for him, and it always would be. Anything else was just icing on the cake; and if Greg would rather have plain cake than frosted, then Ryan wasn't going to argue.

They'd already knocked down one barrier and crossed a taboo off the list just by being here in this shop. If anyone they worked with saw them here, they might be in trouble, but who on the CSI team would come into a gay sex shop? Ryan was sure that they were safe.

If not, they'd find some way to explain being here. After all, everyone knew they were gay -- the team just didn't know that they were together. That was yet another taboo -- a big one. But someday, the stupid rules would be changed, and they'd be able to let the world know how they felt.

Until then, they'd just have to keep chipping away at the taboos in their lives, a little bit at a time, until they were gone. Ryan was positive that they'd be able to get rid of all those dark clouds, and that at some point, there would be no more barriers, and no more taboos to overcome.

"Come on," he said softly, squeezing Greg's hand and leading him to another part of the shop. "Let's go look at some things that might be more our speed." He turned to lead his boyfriend down an aisle, gratified that Greg was right behind him, still holding his hand.

They might still have a few taboos to break, and hurdles to get over, he told himself. But together, he and Greg would manage to do that. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with -- and they could face anything that life might decide to throw at them.

***