Title: Bullet Proof Skin
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: Inspired By Songs, mission_insane
Prompt: 10, Bullet Proof Skin
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

What he needed was full body armor.

That was the only way he'd feel safe until Shane was caught, Greg thought glumly. Without that, he might as well just be waiting for his ex-boyfriend to kill him.

Or better yet, he should have bullet proof skin, he told himself with a sour smile. If something like that could be possible, then his job would be easier, too.

If people had bullet proof skin, there were be a lot fewer dead bodies for the lab to have to deal with, a lot less murders on the street. Fewer people would needlessly lose their lives. And not only that, but bullet proof skin would make him much more confident, less fearful.

He wouldn't have to be so afraid of what Shane could do to him. He wouldn't have to feel that his ex had the upper hand, and that he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Greg sighed softly, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on his hand. He had to stop thinking like this. He had to stop letting Shane control his life.

Even though they had broken up, Shane still controlled him.

The fact that he was almost afraid to go outside and do anything, even little things like going to the grocery store, for fear of running into Shane was proof of that.

He had to stop this, Greg told himself firmly. Nick had told him last night that he couldn't live in fear of Shane, that it was no way to live, and that even though they had each other now, he still wasn't living his life to the fullest if he felt that he had to be cautious and hide himself away.

Nick was right about that. Of course he was. But he couldn't know what it was like to feel helpless, and he hadn't been through the horrors that Shane had put Greg through.

If Nick knew what that was like, then he might be able to understand.

But of course, he'd never wish what he had endured on the man he loved. Greg still shuddered just thinking about it; that had been the worst time of his life.

There was no need to remember those dark hours, he told himself, pushing the memories to the back of his mind and slamming a mental door on them. It was over and done.

He had survived, without the bullet proof skin he wished that he had. It hadn't been easy, and he was still dealing with the fallout from that horrible time. But he would keep moving forward; he wasn't going to let Shane ruin his future as well as being a black mark on his past.

At this point, he was letting Shane control his present and his future, even though the other man was no longer a part of his life and never would be.

Greg sighed again, raising his head from his hand and looking around the living room of Nick's house. So much had changed for him in the past few months, and all for the better.

He was with Nick now. The two of them had declared their feelings for each other, and he'd managed to overcome his fer of being physical and let Nick make love to him. They had a good life together; they were in love, and their physical relationship was just as good as their emotional one.

But he still worried about Shane. He still feared his ex-boyfriend, and he knew that he would for as long as Shane was still out there in society.

He didn't doubt that Shane would turn up sooner or later, when he was least expected. He was probably watching the two of them even now, plotting and planning.

Greg knew that Shane wouldn't concede defeat easily.

How had he ever managed to get himself involved with such a horrific person, anyway? Surely he'd had better judgment than that, even though he was young.

It wasn't that he himself was a bad judge of character, Greg thought. It was that Shane was so damn good at seeming to be something he wasn't, good at hiding his psychopathy. It was easy for him to turn on the charm, to make people believe that he was a nice guy who wouldn't hurt a fly.

And when people found out what he was, then it was already too late. They had become caught up in his life, involved with him in a way that wasn't easy to get out of.

Well, he'd gotten out. Even though he'd paid a price for that freedom.

That price had been the physical agony he'd gone through, and the memories of that pain. Even now, he still had bad dreams every now and then, dreams that made him awaken in a cold sweat.

He was lucky to have Nick there beside him, Nick who would hold him and soothe him. Nick, the man he loved, whose arms were always there for him to borrow into when he needed them.

Nick, who would tell him that having bullet proof skin wouldn't matter in the end, that everyone had their time, and that there was no use fighting against that fact. But he would also point out the fact that bullet proof skin would make sure that he'd be around for a good long time to come.

Greg couldn't help laughing at that thought. Yes, Nick would always see both sides -- the cloud and the silver lining. It was just his nature to do that.

Nick would also tell him that even if he had that bullet proof skin to hide behind, he would have to slip out of it when the two of them were together, to reveal himself completely.

And Greg would agree with that wholeheartedly.

Even without a bullet proof skin, he would never have a problem revealing himself to the man he loved, heart, body and soul. He knew that Nick would always love what he saw.

And he would always love Nick, Greg thought with a smile. Their relationship wasn't going to go the way that the one with Shane had; Nick was nothing like his ex. He didn't need a bullet proof skin, or any kind of camouflage to hide behind when it came to Nick. He never had, and he never would.

Maybe he would eventually get to the point where his fear melted away, and he would be able to face Shane without a bullet proof skin, or any kind of protection.

But try as he might, Greg really didn't think that day was going to come.

***