Title: Overtaken By Dreams
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5_prompts, Month of November challenge
Prompt: Day 13 - He should have never left you broken
Author's Note: Mentions of rape.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Ryan sat bolt upright in bed, eyes wide, wondering for a few hazy moments what could have awakened him, jerking out of sleep so propitiously. It took a few seconds for him to realize that Greg was thrashing by his side, in the throes of a nightmare.

His head was turning from side to side, his arms raised as though to protect himself; he was murmuring incoherent words, his voice so soft that Ryan could barely hear him. He had no idea what his boyfriend was dreaming about, but he could guess.

Greg's nightmares were almost always about the brutal rape that he had suffered so many years ago. Not so much about the physicality of it, at least not lately -- but of the trust that had been broken, the feeling of being betrayed by someone who he had thought cared for him.

When Greg didn't wake up after a few seconds, Ryan reached out to shake him gently, hoping that he could bring his boyfriend back to consciousness easily. "Greg, baby, wake up. You're dreaming," he said softly, not wanting to startle the other man awake.

But Greg didn't awaken; if anything, his tossing and turning intensified, his mutterings becoming more incoherent. Ryan shook his boyfriend harder, taking Greg's shoulders in both hands as he did so, hoping that his lover would wake quickly.

"Greg, baby, come on, wake up!" he said, more loudly this time. He shook Greg again, a little harder this time; his boyfriend's eyes snapped open, and Greg gasped, fear in his eyes and in his voice, a fear that tore at Ryan's heart and soul.

Ryan sat up, gathering Greg into his arms and stroking the other man's hair. He moved one hand up and down Greg's back, trying to soothe him, whispering soft words under his breath. He didn't know if Greg understood what he was saying, but that didn't seem to matter.

He didn't want to ask Greg what the nightmare had been about; he could guess. He didn't think that his lover was dreaming about the Cuban gangster who had tortured him in Miami; Greg's dreams reached further into the past, into his latent memories.

He hated to think of his boyfriend having to deal with those memories for all these years before he had finally found someone he trusted enough to make love with. It was heartbreaking to think of what Greg must have gone through, the fear and loneliness he had lived with.

But that was in the past for his lover now, Ryan told himself firmly. He was going to stay with Greg, love him and keep him safe for the rest of their lives -- and beyond. He was going to be with this man through all of eternity, holding him close, their hearts and souls as one.

After what seemed like a long time, Greg stopped crying against Ryan's shoulder, his tears turning to sniffles. Ryan reached for a tissue from the box they kept on the bedside table, handing it to Greg and waiting silently as he wiped his tears away and composed himself.

"I'm not going to ask what the nightmare was about," Ryan said softly, running a gentle hand through his boyfriend's hair. "I can guess. It was him again, wasn't it? The first man." He didn't want to say more than that; Greg had wrestled with enough horrible memories for one night.

"Yeah. It was about him," Greg whispered, resting his head against Ryan's shoulder. Ryan closed his eyes, almost feeling his heart break within his chest as Greg spoke. He had hoped that their lovemaking would banish these nightmares, put them out of Greg's subconscious mind for good.

"I wish there was some way I could make all of those memories just disappear," Ryan whispered, holding Greg close and hoping that his embrace and his words could soothe his boyfriend. "I would if I could, Greg. I hate that you still have to remember what he did to you."

"So do I," Greg murmured, raising his head from Ryan's shoulder. Ryan could still see the haunted look in his lover's eyes as their gazes met, but at least the terror that had been there when Greg had awakened was gone. He'd at least managed to send that away.

"He shouldn't have been able to get away with what he did," Ryan said, his voice barely a whisper in the quiet of their bedroom. "He should have been punished for it. And he should never have left you broken. He should have meant it when he told you he loved you."

"If he had, then I'd never have been with you," Greg said softly, raising a hand to caress Ryan's cheek. "If he really had loved me, then I might have still been with him. And I might have been happy. We'd never have met, and I couldn't live with that."

"You would never even have known I existed," Ryan pointed out with a slight smile. "So how could you have known whether you could have lived with not knowing me? I wouldn't even have been a glimmer in your life. But I'm glad I am. I'm glad I'm a lot more than that."

"You'll always be the most important person in my life," Greg told him, his voice breaking slightly. "How could you ever doubt that?" He rested his forehead on Ryan's shoulder again, his thin arms tightening around Ryan's waist. "I'm just glad I have you."

"You always will, babe." Ryan pressed a gentle kiss against Greg's hair, feeling tears rise behind his eyes. He blinked them back impatiently; crying wouldn't do Greg any good, and he needed to be strong for his boyfriend. He was the one who needed to dispense comfort.

For several long moments, they simply sat there, embracing each other, until Ryan could feel that Greg was relaxing in his arms. Finally, Greg raised his head, giving Ryan a tremulous smile and moving to lie back down against the cool, soft pillows again.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Ryan asked, leaning over Greg, raising a hand to stroke his cheek. "I'm here if you want to talk, baby. Or if you just want to go back to sleep and you need me to keep the nightmares away. I'll try my best to do that."

"Just hold me," Greg whispered, sliding his arms around Ryan's waist and snuggling against him. "Just hold me until I fall asleep. I don't think I'll have any more bad dreams tonight. I hope not, anyway. We both have to deal with way too many of those lately."

Ryan nodded, holding Greg close as the other man sighed and closed his eyes. He stayed awake long after Greg had fallen asleep again, willing the nightmares to stay away from them -- but not wanting to go back to sleep in case his own dreams should overtake him.

***