Title: Chances Are
Author: SongStar
Pairing: Nick/Warrick
Rating: PG-13
Series/Sequel: Possibly
Warnings: none
Authors Note: The song is Chances Are and it can be found on the Ally McBeal: "For Once in My Life" soundtrack. It is sung by Robert Downey Jr. and Vonda Shepard. It can also be found on the Hope Floats soundtrack.
Summary: Warrick angst's over Nick.

***


Chances are you'll find me
Somewhere on your road tonight
Seems I always end up driving by


I dropped by your place on the way to work tonight, to give you the video game you wanted. We spent a few minutes, just shooting the breeze and then I had to go. I told you I was jealous that you had the night off. What I really wanted to say was, that I was going to miss seeing you tonight.

You just told me to be careful.


Ever since I've known you
It just seems you're on my way
All the rules of logic don't apply


I walk back to my car thinking about how we always manage to do this. Even when one of us has the night off, we still manage to see each other at some point. I know why I do this, but I don't think you do. Sometimes, I hope you don't cause I don't think you could handle what I really want to say.


I long to see you in the night
Be with you 'til morning light


I get in the car, turn it on, and look back towards your place for a moment. I wish I could just call in sick to work tonight, go back in there and just tell you how I feel. How I have felt about you since I realized I had feelings for you.

But, I don't. Instead, I turn back towards the road and drive away.

**

I get teamed with Catherine tonight and spend most of the night working a traffic accident. While I work, I think.


I remember clearly how you looked the night we met.
I recall your laughter and your smile


I hated you the first time we met. Did you know that? I was in the break room finishing a report before work when Grissom came in with you. I glanced up, looking from him and then to you.

You were all groomed, looking like you wanted to impress someone. You probably weren't expecting to actually work that night, just meet everyone on the night shift.

Everything was neat about you, even your hair. You had on brown slacks and a polo shirt, exactly what you wouldn't wear to a crime scene. Grissom introduced us. You held out your hand, smiling that patented Stokes smile of yours, and told me that it was nice to meet me. Yeah whatever, I thought. I had to shake your hand, though, because I could feel Grissom's eyes boring holes into me.

Grissom gave us our assignment. I told you to go find something else to wear and to meet me outside in ten minutes. You left and I tore into Grissom. I didn't want to be saddled with some ‘damn rookie’. He told me that you had spent a year in the Dallas crime lab. I didn't care; you were still a rookie I didn't want to take care of.

When I met you outside, you had changed into jeans and one of your t-shirts. You still looked like you were going out to try and catch ladies, and not to a crime scene. I kept my mouth shut though.

It took us what seemed like forever to get to our crime scene that night, because you insisted on talking all the way. I don't know if you had figured out that I didn't like you and were trying your best to get me to like you, or you were nervous.

To this day, I'm still unsure since we have never really talked about it.

You talked about your family, where you were from, and what you had been doing in the last couple of years. You tried to make a couple of jokes and you even laughed at them.
I hated you even more for it. Maybe because it just made me jealous that you had everything I didn't.

I wanted you to shut the fuck up, but I knew I would catch hell later if I told you to.
So I kept my mouth shut, worked the scene, and the case with you.


I remember how you made me feel so at ease
I remember all your grace, your style.


By the time we finished that case, I was kinda glad you were working with me. Kind of.
We had to go back and talk to the vic's family again for reason's that I have forgotten now.

The way that you dealt with those children... It was something I couldn't do at that point in my life. I was so messed up then.

Things changed slowly after that. You managed to work your way past my defenses and win my trust. It took some time, but we became friends. You even have tried to help me out a few times.

Looking back on it, at least I didn't get you killed like Holly.


And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me.


I have no idea when I first fell in love with you. And to this day, I don't know exactly what it was that made me fall for you.

Maybe it was your smile or your laugh or the way you handled people. I just don't know. All I know, is I've fallen hard for you and there is nothing I can do about it.


**

After shift, I go home to my lonely apartment. I toss my jacket and keys on the table and go in search of some food.

I think about calling you, but I figure you'll most likely be asleep. So, I don't. Instead fix me something to eat. I know I'll see you later tonight, anyway.

I'm tired, but I don't think I can sleep.


Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer all I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best, I've ever met


After I eat, I go over to where I keep my small keyboard and a few other musical instruments. I sit down in front of it and begin playing some tune or another, trying to sooth myself so I can sleep. I do this a lot when I need to calm down or when I can't sleep at night. And it's dreams of you that usually wake me up, or at least when it isn't a nightmare.

After a good hour and a half, I start to get sleepy. I go to take a shower. Afterwards, I lie down and close my eyes. I'm still somewhat alert and even here, behind my eyelids, I see you.

Finally I sleep.


And I'll be dreaming of the future
And hoping you'll be by my side


In my dreams, you and I are working side by side on some case. I see you smile over something and I hear your laughter ringing through my head. In here, I tell you how I feel and in response, you just kiss me. Maybe someday, when I get the courage to tell you, we will be at this point.

However, I can't help but wonder if you could ever love someone as messed up as me.
Me who gambles. Me who has a temper. Me who has killed someone.

My dream you doesn't care and you are right here beside me, where I want you to be.

**

I wake hours later from dreams of you. It is still hours before shift starts and I need something to occupy me.

I'm in the process of eating, when the phone rings and I pick it up to hear you on the other end inviting me to come play the game before shift.

I decline, saying I need to work on something. Truth is, I can't be near you right now. In a few hours maybe, but not now. You sound a touch disappointed, but you tell me you'll see me later and we hang up.

I think again about calling in sick, but decide not to. I might as well face the music, so to speak.
Maybe, I'll get the courage to tell you tonight or maybe I won't, and I'll come home to start the cycle all over again.

Maybe...


Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've ever met



End

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