Title: Government Conspiracies
Author: Clockstopper
Fandom and Pairing: CSI and SG-1 Daniel/Jack and some hint-y Nick and Greg stuff
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: Crossover
Warnings: Nope, nothing
Notes: So I tried to merge things to my liking. Think Fourth Season CSI and Seventh Season SG-1 and it may work. Also, I can not even believe I wrote a CSI/SG-1 crossover. There's just something wrong with that.
Summary: "Colonel Jack O’Neill, US Air Force. I heard something about an alien body?"
Also written for philosophy_20 prompt: parallel

***

Jack would really like to be on vacation.

He had the perfect one planned too. One that hadn’t involved the cabin, though that certainly is his idea of paradise most days, but just the simple novelty of his own home and Daniel, preferably naked for the most of the vacation.

Instead he’s in Vegas, hot blistering Vegas and he’s in his dress blues to add sweating profusely to his misery.

Hammond had decided that he had been the best guy for the job, the job being seeing if alien bodies had actually been found somewhere in the deserts of Vegas. Jack highly doubted it, but, when you were running such a big secret program like the SGC is, Jack guesses that it pays to be careful.

It’s not like it’s that totally unheard of, aliens getting out of the wormhole and the mountain, but Jack thinks there would be a bit more of a panic if that were the case. Most of the aliens Jack has met have been human looking, no indicators to suggest that they were anything but human.

And the ones that haven’t… well they really don’t look human and Jack thinks there’d be more of a crowd around the crime scene if that were the case. News like that tends to spread like wildfire.

Of course the circle of Marines might be what’s keeping things from becoming a circus, Jack musses as he walks over to his people.

“You know, you don’t really have any permission to be here. You’re just being bullies. We’re trying to do our jobs.”

“Greg.”

“What, it’s true. I didn’t hear anything from Grissom about this being a matter best left to the armed forces.”

Jack smiles at the guy, Sanders if his vest is anything to go by, and he can’t help but admire his loud voice. Something about that reminds him of Daniel and, for a spilt second, Jack wishes he could have brought Daniel along on this little goose chase.

Instead he has a bunch of Marines and one very nervous looking medical doctor who’s clutching his kit to his chest like it’ll protect him from possible monsters.

“You’re just pissed because you want the field time.”

“Hell yeah I want the field time. But this just isn’t about the field time. This is about Big Brother getting an in. It’s getting so we can’t even do our jobs.”

“I’m sure they got their reasons Greggo.”

“Right, their secretive alien conspiracy reasons.”

“I think you’re getting a little paranoid, man.”

“I’m not paranoid. I saw Independence Day, granted it was pretty crappy and utterly cheesy and who would really believe a guy like Jeff Goldblum could save the world.”

This makes Jack laugh because he always kind of thought that Jeff Goldblum’s character had been a bit like Daniel. Or maybe it had just been the glasses.

“Well I for one thought it was a very entertaining movie.”

Sanders and the other guy, Stokes his vest says, look up at him eyebrows furrowed and their wearing matching expressions of confusion.

“Colonel Jack O’Neill, US Air Force. I heard something about an alien body?” Jack says.

The Sanders guy rolls his eyes.

“Right, um, I’m Nick Stokes CSI level three and this is Greg Sanders. He’s… he’s um…”

“I’m a lab rat trying to gain some field experience.” Sanders says.

“Not going so well I take it.” Jack says with his best ‘trust me, I’m a Colonel’ smile that Daniel says makes him self-deprecating and likeable.

“It would be going better if I actually got to work a crime scene. Instead I’ve got military guys blocking the body.”

Jack smiles.

“Certainly got quite a lip on him, doesn’t he.”

“He doesn’t get out much, sir.” Stokes says.

Jack’s about to say something funny and witty because Sanders’ face is red and he’s glaring and it’s kind of cute to look at, but then he sees it. It’s barely noticeable to anyone else who doesn’t have a relationship with someone they’re working with, secret or otherwise.

Stokes has his hand on Sanders’ forearm and he’s not getting upset about the outburst, like any normal person would do with a trainee. Stokes is even giving him the ‘stop embarrassing yourself in front of the nice Colonel’ look that Jack’s so often got from Daniel only more of a ‘stop being so deliberately stupid in front of the alien natives’.

He decides to cut them a break because they work in Vegas and they’ve probably been here since the early morning hours guarding their crime scene in case it isn’t a threat to national security.

He briefly wonders if they ever have any time alone because he knows all about working crazy hours and the lot before Dr. Clutch-y calls his name, stutters a bit first, but gets it out all the same.

“Excuse me a moment.” Jack says to them as he walks away to talk to Dr. Nervous Wreck.

“Yes?” Jack says.

“Well, it’s definitely Gou’ald. The dead symbiote was found just a few feet from the body. Looks like it tried to find a new host, but, this being the desert, didn’t get the chance.”

“So, alien body.” Jack says and he can’t quite believe it, but it’s all in a days work really.

“It would appear so, sir.” The doctor says.

“Well, then, bag it. We’re gonna have to bring it back to the mountain for testing.” Jack says with a sigh.

He had really been looking forward to that vacation.

“Um, sir, what about… local law enforcement.” The doctor says pointing in the direction of Stokes and Sanders.

“I’ll break the news to them.” Jack says as he watches them talk some more, voices to low to be heard even if they are only a short distance away.

He walks over to them, their voices getting quiet as they spot him approaching and he puts on his best charming smile.

“Well, looks like there’s gonna be no crime scene investigating.” Jack says.

They both look at him questioningly.

“You can’t be serious about the alien body thing.” Sanders says.

“I’m not, but it’s not really why we were called in. That man is actually Air Force and we know who killed him. We have the guy in custody already, we were just looking for the body.”

It amazes him how he lies so smoothly, but he’s had time to get it down to an art in the last couple of years. It’s easy and effective and it makes him one hell of a poker player.

“Really?” Stokes says.

They both don’t seem to be buying it and Jack guesses that’s what makes them good at their jobs. He pulls out a bunch of very official papers, signed by Hammond and the President and hands them over to Stokes.

“It’s all right there. Just take that information to your boss and if he has any problems, he can call this number.” Jack says pulling out a business card.

They look over the information in front of them, obviously seeming satisfied with it because they both sigh and wipe at their faces.

“Great.” Sanders says.

“Well, at least you’ve got a story to tell the other Lab Rats.”

“Yes because Jacqui will be so pleased that we ran into the military. You know how she loves men in uniform.” Sanders laments.

Jack watches their interplay with a certain amount of amusement. It’s almost like they don’t realizes he’s still standing there, waiting for the doctor to wrap up a body and a snake and the Marines to load said body and snake into their government SUVs.

“Well, gentlemen, I hope we never see each other again.”

Stokes frowns a bit at that, but Sanders smiles, bright and wide and Jack’s reminded of a cute over eager puppy for half a second. No denying that the kid is cute, but Jack likes them a bit older and bulkier looking.

He tips his hat to them before walking back to his car. Hopefully he can get to the base where the landed and the plane ride will go smoothly. At least he hopes. And George definitely owes him time and a half for this. Possibly double time.

He steps into the truck giving to him from the nearest military bases, turns on the engine when he hears his cell phone ring. He pulls it out of his middle divider and smiles at the number.

“Why Daniel. Miss me already?” Jack says.

He hears the laughter come in through the other line.

“Actually I just got up.” Daniel says.

“Bastard.”

“Yeah, well, imagine my surprise when I wake up, having gone to bed the night before with a warm body and finding no warm body in the morning. Very unnerving.”

“Was called away on a mission. Very secretive you know.” Jack says as he pulls his truck out of park.

“I figured as much when I called General Hammond.”

“Yes, well, George said it was very important.”

“You could have woken me up. I would have gone with you.”

Jack smiles at that because he knows Daniel would have gone with him or at least offered. Jack thinks it would have seemed pretty weird to bring an archaeologist to a crime scene.

“I was trying to hurry so I could get back in time to spend my vacation properly. Besides, you look so cute when you’re sleeping.”

“Hmmm… thanks. So… when are you gonna be home?”

Home. He’d like to be home now because what he did right now didn’t require much. Carter probably would have been the better candidate anyway, but she had been in Denver with Pete and Jack hadn’t had the heart to demand that she be called away from that.

She had deserved the downtime as much as Jack did.

“Hopefully soon. If everything goes smoothly.”

“Sounds good. I’ll make us something for dinner.”

“I ever tell you that you’re the perfect little housewife.”

“No, but if you ever do I promise to make your life miserable.”

Jack laughs.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

There’s a slight pause and he hears Daniel sigh over the line.

“This kind of sucks.”

“Sucks, and you call yourself a linguist.”

“Shut up. I had plans.”

“So did I, but its only one day. We have three.”

“I know, but I had plans.”

“And I’m sure I would have really loved those plans, but… it’s our jobs.”

He hears Daniel sigh again and he really wishes he were with Daniel anywhere else than driving the long trip back from Vegas to Colorado.

“You’re never going to be back in time for dinner.”

“It doesn’t take that long to fly from Vegas to Colorado. There’ll be some boring stuff before than, but I’m thinking I’ll be back by five.”

“One can hope.”

“Maybe we should just skip the dinner and get to the naked portion of the evening.”

“Jack.”

“What, I’m alone. And that was basically the bulk of my plans.”

“One track mind.”

“You love it.”

“I love you, for some insane reason.”

Jack smiles.

“I love you too, Daniel.”

There’s another pause before he hears Daniel sigh again.

“It still sucks.”

“I know. I gotta story that might cheer you up.”

“Really.”

“Yup.”

“So…”

“Well, it starts with these two guys I met…”

FIN