Title: Dangerous Words
Author: Lora
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Challenge: Screencap challenge by thegoldenfool
Rating: G
Summary: I didn't even see you standing there.
Keywords: Angst, betrayal
Words: 302

***

"Sara, they're only words. Words really can't hurt you, silence can."

I remember my counselor telling me this in college and I painted it into my memory. At times when I found it almost impossible to speak, when memories were too painful, I would close my eyes and take strength from those words.

Now, as I stand and watch you walk away, I realise she lied to me that day. Words do hurt, they have the power to break and destroy a person in an instant.

I didn't even see you standing there.

If my acid tongue had not been licking the air so fast, if the anger waves in my veins had not been crashing so hard against my skin, I might have felt your warm breath on my neck.

The things I said to Grissom about you, I never meant to hurt you. You've spat your share of venom in my direction, but these words I purged into his hands... I violated your confidentiality. I worked so hard to gain your trust, I know how painful it was for you to reveal these secrets, secrets you hadn't even told Gil, your best friend.

I was so angry with you Catherine, all I could see was red and the vehement words just tumbled from my lips. No matter how hard I try, I can't erase the image of your face as I turned and saw you standing behind me. How much did you hear Catherine? How many of your deepest secrets did you hear me spill?

I knew, the moment the tears formed in your empty blue eyes that you would never look at me again. How could you? I betrayed you in the worst possible way.

The only apology I can offer you, is this silence that whispers your name.

***