Previous part of part of The Day Before You.
***
Chapter 31: Letting It OutWhen Jan Sanders answered the front door, she was surprised to find her son on the front porch. "Greg..."
"Hi, Mom." His emotions ignited upon seeing her.
"What are you doing here, honey?" She opened the door wide to let him inside. "Not that I mind seeing you twice in one day. Did you come here to wait for Nick to return from the lake with Cassie?"
"No."
Studying her boy's eyes, she knew something was troubling him. "Are you okay?"
Shaking his head, Greg stepped forward and embraced his mother. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" She panicked. "What did you do, Gregory?"
Holding her tight, he choked out the apology he felt compelled to give, "I'm sorry for all the times I've given you crap and taken you for granted. I love you. Thank you for being the best, most supportive mom I…"
"Greg!" She pulled out the embrace. "You're scaring the hell out of me. Why are you suddenly saying this stuff?" Her overactive mind irrationally jumped to the worst conclusion. "Oh my God." She covered her gaping mouth. "Honey, are you sick? Are you…"
"No." Shaking his head, he wiped his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out."
Seeing his tears, she reached out and touched his damp face. "What has gotten into you?"
"Mandy stopped by for a visit and while she was over, she started miscarrying."
Just hearing the word made Jan tense up. "Sometimes women have spotting during the…"
"No, I went with her to the hospital and they confirmed it. Afterwards, I took her home, got her settled, and then stayed with her until her sister arrived."
"She was so excited about the pregnancy."
"Yeah." Seeing empathy for his friend in his mother's eyes, Greg softly said, "Experiencing that with her made me realize how hard it must have been for you having two miscarriages and two still births before you had me. That's why I had to stop by on the way home to hug you." When he saw her eyes well, his tears returned. "I totally understand why you've been so protective of me. I mean, I knew in theory why you were the way you were, but seeing how hard it is for a mom to lose a baby…I just wanted to come here and tell you I love you and I'm sorry for all the times I did stuff on purpose just to piss you off, like this morning when I flaunted my ring when you've been going out of your way to make the ceremony special." After a choppy breath he said, "I promise not to be a jackass anymore."
"You can try anyway." Reaching out, she hugged him tight. "You're growing up right before my eyes."
"It's about time, doncha think?" He chuckled with her as their tears subsided.
"Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something?"
"No, I'm too tired."
She checked her watch. "Nick and Cassie won't be back for at least another half hour, do you want to wait for them?"
He shook his head, "I think I'm just gonna head home and pass out."
Giving up on sleep, Hodges sat up in bed and reached for the remote. "TV Land don't fail me now." He clicked the power button hoping for something that would distract him from obsessing over his impending dinner date. "Yes!" Relieved to see Beaver Cleaver on screen, he fluffed his bed pillows. "The Beaver won't remind me of Wendy."
But as he settled in for the episode, the words 'Wendy' and 'beaver' prompted his primitive id to churn out a naughty image. "I should have seen that coming." Closing his eyes, he tried to purge the errant thought, but soon realized it couldn't be accomplished mentally. "But not in front of the kids." Blushing, he clicked off the TV so he could be alone with Wendy and his dirty mind.
"I cleaned up the bathroom," Roy announced when he saw Greg entering the kitchen like a zombie. "I know you said you'd do it, but I figured you'd be exhausted, and I didn't want Nick to come home and find blood all over the place and freak."
"Thanks." After tossing his keys, Greg grabbed an already open bottle of red wine from the counter and yanked out the cork.
Watching his housemate chug, Roy joked, "Way to be a role model in front of the impressionable 20 year old who's been ordered not to drink."
Greg wiped his lips and set the bottle on the counter. "That was only one glass worth of vino, so I'm not being an irresponsible drinker in front of a minor, I'm just getting my daily dose of anti-oxidant flavonoids."
"Considering you dribbled red wine on your new shirt, I'd still argue that you're an irresponsible drinker."
"Ugh." Greg surveyed the damage. "Screw it, I'm too tired to get the spots out."
Roy held out his hand, "Give me the shirt and go to bed before you do any more damage to your clothes or my sobriety."
"Like I'm going to take my shirt off in front of you, Mr. Perfect Six Pack." With the half-empty bottle of wine in hand, Greg strolled away laughing. "I value my self-esteem way more than this shirt."
"What am I going to wear tonight?" Hodges lamented as he stood in the middle of his walk-in closet tugging on his prized pair of Pillsbury Dough Boy boxers. "If I dress too fancy she'll think I'm head over heels, but if I go too casual, she'll think I don't care enough about her to dress up."
After staring at his lackluster wardrobe for several minutes he decided to get dressed and go shopping instead of forcing sleep.
"You're still awake, G?" Shutting the door behind him, Nick walked over and sat on the bed.
"Yeah." He muted the TV, and tossed the remote. "I was waiting up for you."
"Roy told me what happened with Mandy."
"I hope you don't mind, but I really don't want to talk about it, because if I rehash everything, I'll never sleep."
"No problem."
Feeling needy, Greg patted the comforter. "Come to bed."
"I need to hit the john first." Nick dropped a kiss on his partner's cheek before standing. "And I have to brush away my dragon breath. Cassie and I stopped for In and Out on the way back."
Shifting focus to the positive, Greg said, "My mom said Cassie sounded great when she called home from the lake. You must be psyched."
"Yeah." Standing in the bathroom doorway, Nick gushed, "I was so proud of her for facing her fear. She even said she'll be up for jet skiin' next time." Walking to the sink he yelled over his shoulder, "Me and her against you and Jenni! Losers buy the winners ice cream."
"Jocks versus geeks, how original." Greg fluffed his bed pillow and slid horizontal. "Jenni and I will have to challenge you guys to a double or nothing game of chess on shore."
"Is Jenni good at chess?" Nick asked before brushing.
"Yeah, she beat me the other day when I was over there tutoring Tawny in math. I told her I'd help her start a Chess Club at her new school since they don't have one."
"How do you know they'll let you?"
"Because that's how private schools work." Greg waited for the toilet to stop flushing before finishing his thought. "Families with big bank accounts get to do anything they want because the School Board knows where their bread is buttered."
"I'm still not thrilled about Cassie goin' to Butterfield."
"Catherine raves about the place."
"No offense to Cath, but Lindsay's a little wild in my opinion. Rich kids at private schools have expendable cash, which means they can buy their way into trouble."
"The rich kids who get in trouble at school are the ones whose parents are too busy or too self-absorbed to care what their kids are doing. Think of the Butterfield kid you found in the dryer, his parents were away on a ski trip and had no idea what their kids were doing. Jan and Dave aren't those kind of parents, trust me, they're in your business 24/7."
"I hope you're right."
Watching his man stroll out of the bathroom clad only in grey boxer briefs, Greg asked, "Are you set on our kids going to public school?"
"I didn't even know we had kids." Sliding under the covers, Nick continued joking, "Are they boys or girls?"
"One of each."
"Names?"
"Garrett and Kiersten," Greg answered on the fly.
"After my grandfather and your grandmother?"
"We thought it was a nice tribute."
"Careful, G." Nick burst into a sunny smile. "You're gonna throw me into Daddy overdrive if you keep talkin' like this."
"I don't know why I'm talking like this. After watching Mandy suffer, kids are the last thing I should want, but for some odd reason, it kind of made me want them." The statement set off a wave of panic. "Actually, the only thing I absolutely know that I want right now is sleep."
"Think you'll be able to nod off?"
Greg snuggled close. "The odds are much better now with you here."
"Is there somethin' I can do to help increase those odds?" Grazing his lips over his partner's Nick murmured, "I'll do anything you want."
"Anything?"
"Yep."
"In that case, I need supplies." After yanking off his shirt, Greg stretched to open his nightstand drawer. "Here." He handed his lover a bottle of almond-scented massage oil. "My shoulders and neck are really tight."
"Tease."
"I didn't tease you, your dirty mind leapt to the wrong conclusion."
"Turn off your lamp, Romeo." With a flick of the thumb, the bottle top was open. "Now roll over and brace yourself for the best massage you've ever had."
"You're gonna warm that stuff up, right?"
Nick chuckled at the familiar question. "Yeah, this time I will." While exchanging grins with his lover, he warmed the liquid between his hands. "Because it wouldn't be fair to make you jump when I know you're stressed."
"A massage from a hot jock while the Discovery Channel is on mute in the background." Greg sweetly laughed, "Talk about a geek dream come true."
Gliding his slick, warm hands over his spouse's knotted muscles, Nick glanced over at the TV. "Some hot and heavy animal romance is on the horizon."
"Honestly, I'm beat and not in the mood to…"
"On the Discovery Channel, dork."
"Oh!" Greg laughed into his pillow.
"Am I hittin' the spot?" the masseuse queried after a few minutes.
"Yeah." A contented moan followed the statement. "Mmm, I don't know about you, Cletus, but I'm feeling the marital bliss."
"Me too." Straddling his partner's thighs, Nick upped the intensity of rub. "I love knowin' I have someone to come home to for the rest of my life."
"Even though I'm too tense to answer your questions sometimes and trick you into massaging my shoulders?"
"Especially then." Nick leaned in and spoke in a sexy whisper, "I'm a traditional guy, so the idea of my spouse sittin' in bed waitin' for me to give him what he needs appeals to me."
Greg shivered from the delicious sensation of warm lips gliding down his neck. "I love when you do that."
"And I love you, baby." Realizing he was getting carried away when his lover had stated he wasn't in the mood, Nick ended the massage and returned to his side of the bed. "Shoulders feelin' better?"
"Definitely." Rolling onto his back, the formerly anxious man pointed to the bulge in his boxers. "But thanks to all your kissing and grinding, I have a new problem area."
"Sorry."
"I told you I was exhausted and not in the mood."
"Wow, I didn't expect our first 'not tonight, I have a headache' moment to happen this soon."
"It's not personal, I'm just overwhelmed from the day I've had and…"
"I was kiddin', honey." Nick pressed a kiss to his lover's lips. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Yeah." Reaching forward, Greg slipped his fingers through his randy masseuse's hair, gently tugging on it. "Since you enjoy feeling needed and I'm too tired to move, shower, or change the sheets, I have the perfect job for you." In case the statement was too vague, he gave him a push in the right direction.
The unexpected dominance titillating him, Nick dove head first into the assignment.
Stunned that his bold edict had been met without hesitation, Greg snickered, "I guess we just figured out who wears the pants in this marriage."
"Sara?" Gil padded over to the dining room table. "Are you reading my casefiles?" Thrilled his plan had worked, he struggled not to smile.
"Uh." Caught with papers sprawled out on the table, she couldn't deny it. "Sorry, I was walking by and curiosity got the best of me. I decided to take a peek to get the urge out of my system and then I saw Anika Watson's photo and when I read what happened to her, I wanted to help. I wanted to help her and you, so after I was done with her file, I kept reading." Glancing away she realized it was dark. "What time is it?"
"8:15."
"Really?"
"What time did you start reviewing files?"
"Around two."
Gil let his smile unfurl.
"What?"
"You're back." Brushing her cheek with the back of his hand, he breathed easy for the first time in weeks. "You're glowing."
"Haven't you heard? I'm pregnant."
"How did that happen?"
"I'll refresh your memory…"
"I'm not ready yet," Gil confessed, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
With her husband poised on top of her for sex, Sara couldn't believe he was balking. "You're not ready to be a father?"
"No, I'm literally not ready." He glanced at his crotch. "I think maybe the pressure of knowing this could be productive sex has rendered me…"
"Limp."
"I'd prefer not ready, thank you."
"The kit's instruction manual said not to make conception seem like work, because it can hinder performance."
"It was obviously written by a man who was in this same situation at one time." Gil kept shifting and waiting for his body to ignite.
"Should I put on some cable soft core porn?"
"I'd rather not impregnate my wife while watching two other women get it on."
"Aww." Sara patted his cheek. "That's really sweet. Good boy."
"You treating me like a nice doggie isn't doing much for my libido, honey."
"Want me to talk dirty?"
Gil pondered the offer. "I suppose it couldn't hurt."
"Give it to me, baby," Sara moaned like a porn star, "I want you so bad. Mmmm, yeah, you're making me so hot." When she realized her husband was shaking with laughter, she stopped the imitation. "That bad, huh?"
"Worse."
"I'll get the remote."
As Sara lunged toward the nightstand, Gil crashed onto the covers. "I'm sure once I relax I'll be fine." Watching the TV channels fly by, he tried not to think about his problem. "Wait!"
"What?"
"Go back to 47."
"The Discovery Channel?"
"It was a special on beetles that I've seen once before."
Sara did as requested, hoping a little Bug TV would chill out her Entomologist mate.
Five minutes into the program, Gil realized his plumbing was good to go. "Honey…"
"Hmm?" The show was so boring she had nodded off.
"Ready."
"I couldn't get a rise out of you, but watching beetles on TV gave you a hard on?"
He used deflection to avoid saying yes, "Do you want my sperm or not?"
"All this to woo a guy into sharing his DNA?" Surveying the perfectly appointed dining room table, Jean continued teasing her partner, "Yellow roses because Nick's from Texas?"
Carrie gripped her wavy chestnut hair. "You think it's too much?"
Jean lifted up a salad plate and teased her soulmate, "Why don't you break out the good china on Monday nights for me anymore?"
"Since my mother isn't alive to meet the future father of her grandchildren, I wanted her to be here in spirit through her china."
The free-spirited dance studio owner with fire-red mussed hair warned her perfectly coifed perfectionist partner, "I just don't want Nick to get freaked out by your tightly wound persona."
"Are you kidding? Nick's my tightly wound twin," Carrie laughed until she saw the time. "Shoot! It's already 8:00 and I haven't re-ironed my blouse or burned the perfect country music CD yet! 9:45 will be here before we know it."
"The 'perfect country music CD', that's an oxymoron."
"Can you not diss country music for just one night, pleeeeease?" The fan of showtunes and country songs said, "I'm used to you ragging on my song choices, but Nick is a first-time guest."
"Why couldn't you find a superhero with low cholesterol levels who liked Ani Defranco?"
"Because that low-cholesterol superhero would be an opinionated lesbian and we're already stocked up on those."
"Good point." Watching her partner rush through the house, Jean said, "Relax already."
Dropping onto the couch in his boxers, Hodges yawned uncontrollably. "A twenty minute power nap and I'll be as good as new." Forcing his eyes to stay open for a few more seconds, he set his wristwatch alarm to wake him at 8:30.
"Damn, is it really nine?" Nick cursed his buzzing alarm clock for pulling him out of a deep sleep. "This sucks." He silenced the obnoxious clock by pounding his fist on the snooze bar. "I feel like I got six minutes, not six hours."
Stretching his arms to the ceiling, Greg cheerily announced, "I feel great. That deluxe massage and hummer spa package made me sleep like a rock."
In between lion-sized yawns, Nick grumbled, "Unfortunately for me, you passed out before returning the favor, and I wasn't in the mood to take matters in to my own hands on what's technically still my honeymoon."
"Aww, I don't think you're cranky because you're tired, I think you woke up with a nasty case of DSB."
I can't believe he's standing me up! Wendy scanned the bar of her favorite sushi restaurant for a tenth time. Forty minutes is not fashionably late, not without a call. After signaling the bartender to refill her wine glass, she checked her voicemail once more.
You have no messages
Unbelievable! Lifting her recently freshened glass, she shook her head. David Hodges, the guy who has been flirting with me for months, is blowing me off! Her irritation growing, she punched his number into her cell. I'm going to tell him exactly how I feel. But she snapped the phone shut before the call connected. No, because then it will look like I'm upset, and I'm not. I'm pissed off for wasting my valuable time, but I'm not upset he's not here. Tossing a tip on the bar, she muttered, "This is what I get for being nice to the jerk."
While grabbing her purse she saw a special report on the bar's TV. A five-car pile up had caused a traffic snare just off the strip. What if he was an accident and I've been here cursing him out? An accident would explain why how he could be so excited about tonight but not show and not return my calls. Clutching her purse, she hurried for the exit, determined to solve the mystery of her missing dinner date.
"I'm back!" Gil reached down to pat Bruno with his free hand while holding his bag of Chinese food out of the dog's reach.
"Mmm! I can smell the garlic from here." Sara bolted from the table.
When he was relieved of the food without even a peck on the cheek, Gil huffed, "You're welcome."
Sara already had her face in a container of Tofu and Veggie Fried Rice. "Sorry, the embryo is starving."
"Quick get the hors d'oerves!" Jean shouted to her fretting partner, who was re-arranging the floral centerpiece yet again. "Your sperm-filled superhero is parking his big manly truck!"
Hurrying over, Carrie warned, "Remember, he has no idea he's at the top of our list."
"Our list? How can he be at the top of our list when I haven't even met him?"
"Okay, okay, he's at the top of mylist, but I'm sure he'll be at the top of your list too after tonight."
"Just promise me you won't bring out the binder."
"Even if it's going well?"
"Especially if it's going well." Noting her lover's shaky hands, Jean whispered, "I know you believe the right guy will appreciate your tenacity and attention to detail, but I honestly don't think there's a man on the planet who won't freak out when presented with a binder of 237 questions to answer about himself and his parenting philosophy."
"I know, that's why I put the questions on a CD instead. Won't that be a lot less intimidating than handing over the binder?" When she saw her partner's incredulous reaction, Carrie said, "You're right, I'm a freak. How do you put up with me?"
Caressing her partner's cheek, Jean sweetly replied, "Heavy drinking really helps."
"Very funny."
"Doorbell!"
After smoothing her hands over her perfectly pressed Ann Taylor white linen blouse and khaki pencil skirt Carrie twisted open the doorknob. "Hey, guys, it's great seeing you again."
"Same here." Nick smiled at the plucky ADA who had helped him keep Tawny out of jail and his brother in deep shit. "Thanks for the invite."
"Don't just stand there, come on in!" Jean motioned for the guys to step inside. "I promise we don't bite, not guys anyway." Pushing up the billowy sleeves of her colorful smock top, she held out her hand, "I'm Carrie's soulmate and polar opposite, Jean Cromwell."
"Nick Stokes." He returned the handshake. "Nice to meet you. This is my partner, Greg Sanders, he's a CSI with me over at LVPD."
Jean extended her hand to the second guest. "I love your shirt, Greg." The colorful paisley button down had immediately caught her eye.
"Thanks, I was thinking the same thing about yours."
Nick shared a laugh over him and the ADA both wearing thoroughly pressed plain white shirts. "That's a real nice shade of bright white, Carrie."
"I was just thinking the same thing about your shirt, Nick."
While appreciating Jean's funky sense of style, Greg handed her the bottle of wine he was holding. "I don't know much about grapes, so if this is swill, feel free to spit it out."
"She's the Napa Valley girl, not me." Jean handed over the Cabernet to her partner.
"Are you kidding me!" Carrie gaped at the 2003 Screaming Eagle Cab in her hands. "I can't believe you brought this to a casual dinner." Suddenly suspicious of her guests' intentions, she warily asked, "You know we're not going to sleep with you, right?"
"What makes you think we want to sleep with you?"
"A guy doesn't usually bring a woman a $1600 bottle of wine unless…"
"1600 dollars!" Greg shrieked. "I had no idea it cost that much!"
Nick's frustration flared, "G, I thought we agreed you were gonna start lookin' at your damn credit card receipts before signin' 'em?"
"I didn't buy the bottle, dude. I snatched it from my parents' wine cabinet this morning and stuffed it in my backpack." Greg reclaimed the Cabernet. "Sorry, but if I don't take this back my mom will kick my ass."
"Real smooth, G." Nick smiled at the women, "And he wonders why he always struck out with the ladies."
"Open up, Hodges!" Wendy pounded on the front door of her missing date's apartment. "Your car is in your space, so I know you're in there!"
Startled from slumber and disoriented, Hodges jumped to his feet and stumbled toward the door. "What do you want!" To protect himself, he grabbed his plastic replica of a Klingon qutluch from the living room wall. "Who's there!"
"It's your conscience, Davey! You probably don't recognize me because we were separated at birth!"
His heart pounding in his chest, he worked up the nerve to peer through the peephole. "Wendy? I thought we were meeting at the restaurant."
"Me too, jerk."
Glancing up at his Howdy Doody cuckoo clock, he realized he should have been on his date an hour ago. "I overslept!"
"You overslept?" she huffed. "I offer to take you to dinner and you can't even be bothered to set your alarm clock."
"But I did set my alarm!" He checked his watch. "For 8:30 am, not pm."
"I'm out of here." She marched off hoping to see an available cab on the street.
"Wait!" Hodges threw open the door with plans to beg for forgiveness. "You have to give me a chance to explain!"
"No, I don't! And if you think…" Seeing her co-worker clad only in Pillsbury Dough Boy boxer shorts snapped Wendy out of anger and into hysterics.
"Why are you…" When a passerby walking a Dalmatian yelled 'nice underwear, Dough Boy' he realized his boxers were responsible for his date's laughter. "Do we have to talk outside?"
"Can I come in?" Roy asked as Bobby remained silent. "Please, I came all the way over here to talk."
"What's there to talk about?" He wanted to spare himself any further humiliation. "Everything I needed to know I learned from Nick. You're a restless 20 year old hangin' out in stalls at the Tangiers while telling me we're exclusive."
"I thought it would be more awkward for you if I said you didn't know, so I told him we had an arrangement and you were cool with it."
"I don't want Nick to think I'm content with time sharin' his cousin's body. He looked at me like I was an old pervert and that's kinda how I feel after hearin' what you said." When he saw his neighbors strolling down the path to get to their townhome, Bobby straightened up and pretended he wasn't having a lover's quarrel. "Thanks for dropping off those files, Roy. You saved me a trip to the lab." He waved to Penny and Marty Glarksen. "How you doin' tonight?"
Watching the act Bobby was putting on for his neighbors' benefit, Roy's frustration surged. "The problem isn't your age." He pushed his way into the townhouse.
"Keep your voice down." Bobby shut the door and hurried to make sure the windows were closed.
"Don't blame me for lookin' elsewhere, man. I'm not partyin' across town because I don't want to be seen with you, I'm doin' it because you don't want to be seen with me or any other guy who might make you look queer."
"I told you I wasn't out when we met and you said it wasn't a problem."
"I didn't think it would be, but it is. I didn't realize how much until I was out havin' fun in public with guys who didn't mind bein' seen with me." Pacing the living room, Roy said, "I got kicked out of my home and family because of who I am. I lost everything because I refused to be ashamed of myself and live a lie, but here you are askin' me to do just that. I don't want to be the damn delivery boy or your co-worker droppin' off papers." He launched an ultimatum. "If you want to be with me in private, you need to be with me in public in too."
"Why?"
"Why?" Miffed by the question, Roy shouted, "Because I want to feel like a boyfriend, not a trick! I want to have someone to take places when I get invited and I want to be taken places other than bed. I want to have a date for Nick and Greg's wedding." When he saw the conflict in his lover's eyes, he asked, "What exactly are you hidin' from anyway? You already lost your wife and kid back in Oklahoma. You're a financially independent man, you don't have to worry about supportin' yourself when your folks kick you out without a dime. Shit, with Nick and Greg out at work now, you won't even have to be the token gay."
"I can't."
"Then this is goodbye."
"I don't want it to be."
"At least the guys who were usin' me in San Francisco paid me." His baggage weighing heavy on his mind, Roy's voice crackled with emotion, "You're askin' me to come here and service you for free."
"That's not what was goin' on here and you know it." Fear and desire tugging him in opposite directions, the conflicted man fell silent.
"You're right, I'm sorry." His eyes welling, Roy glanced away. "I don't want to hurt you, Bobby, but you're hurtin' me, not intentionally, but it still hurts. I spent years hidin' my secret while listenin' to my family bash queers at the dinner table. I was so terrified of being found out, I joined in and told gay jokes right along with 'em. Then when my folks found out what I was hidin', I watched them livin' in fear that someone at church would discover their supposedly All-American jock son was gay. Because I needed a roof over my head until I graduated high school, I lied and told them I asked God for forgiveness and would never touch another guy. When I moved to San Francisco I thought I'd finally be able to stop lyin', but ended up doin' things for cash that I didn't want my friends to know about, so I had a double life again."
"What do you need me to do?" Bobby asked, anxious about every possible answer.
"I need you to prove Nick wrong. I want you to prove to him that I'm more than just a guy you screw. Hell, prove it to me." Roy grabbed Bobby's truck keys. "We don't need to march in a parade arm in arm, just take me to dinner." He placed the key ring in his lover's palm. "Take me somewhere nice with great food, and if we bump into someone you know, introduce me as your boyfriend, not a ballistics grad student askin' for your help on a research paper. What's the worst that can happen?"
Looking around his lonely home and the photos of the daughter being raised by his ex-wife and her new husband, Bobby grasped the brass ring. "How does seafood sound?"
"This salmon is delicious," Greg commented after the third bite. "Do you give out your recipes, Jean?"
"Normally, no," smirking she lifted her wine glass, "but I'm the kind of girl who takes pity on a guy who reclaimshis hostess gift for fear of his mommy kicking his ass, so I'll make an exception."
Nick patted his partner on the back, "Wow, you really are doin' much better with the ladies on this date than the last one, you scored a secret recipe." Over appetizers they had entertained the women with the story of their date from hell and the other events that led to them finally getting together.
Jean chuckled, "Not to take away from your big conquest, Greg, but all I was going to give you was the link for the website where I snagged the recipe."
"Hey, that's still more than I'm used to getting after having dinner with a woman."
Fulfilling her obligation to not directly bash country music, Jean said, "If it will make you feel better, it would be my pleasure to throw in this CD of country music we're listening to."
"No, that's okay." Greg told the women, "Since I fell in love with a cowboy, I get to hear way too much of this stuff already." Feeling comfortable with the ladies, he joked, "I was actually looking forward to hearing some Melissa Etheridge or Ani Defranco tonight."
"Ha!" Jean pointed at Carrie. "Blame her for picking this cra…stuff."
"Can we listen to the Monkees?" Wendy asked, plucking the CD off the shelf.
"Really?" Hodges couldn't believe the request. "What's your favorite song?"
"Daydream Believer."
He couldn't stop his eye roll. "I should have guessed."
"You?"
"A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You." Loading the CD, he explained why. "I love the psychedelic dance beat."
"Of course you do, Austin Powers."
After popping open buttons on his shirt, Hodges stroked his chest hair. "Yeah, baby!"
Watching her co-worker strike various Austin Powers poses, Wendy's smile flourished. "Most guys would have opted for conservative behavior after getting busted in Dough Boy shorts, but not you."
Dancing around her, he continued delivering movie lines, "Do I make you horny, baby?" When she spit the wine she had been sipping, he let Austin Powers scold her, "Behave, Ms. Shagwell!"
"All that's missing is a pair of bad fake teeth."
"Ooh!"
Watching her date dash out of the room, presumably to retrieve a set of ugly teeth, she sweetly sighed into her wine, "Who needs dinner in a fancy restaurant anyway?"
"Thanks for takin' me out tonight." Sitting at an intimate corner table for two in Cartwright's Steakhouse, Roy reached under the table cloth and patted his date's knee. "I appreciate you steppin' outside your comfort zone for me."
"I did it for me too." Setting down the wine menu, Bobby quietly said, "Ever since Nick came out, I've been thinkin' about the way I live and tryin' to get the nerve up to follow in his footsteps. I guess it's true what they say – people don't change until the fear of stayin' the same becomes greater than the fear of changin'. I thought about goin' back to the life I had the day before I met you, and that scared me more than comin' out. My life was a monotonous bore until you showed up, and I'm not just talkin' about my sex life."
"But the sex is great, right?"
"Are you kidding?" Bobby couldn't imagine a more ridiculously obvious question.
"I just wanted to be sure it wasn't just me thinkin' so." When he saw his date gaping at him, the jock chuckled, "I know geeks think they have exclusive rights to insecurity, but jocks need validation too."
"Sorry to interrupt your conversation," Gary, the silver-haired career waiter apologized, "but I saw you put down the wine list and thought I should check to see if you made a selection."
"We'll go with the red you recommended, thanks."
"Excellent choice." The waiter turned to the younger man at the table. "Since we card everyone under 30, I'll need to see your ID."
"Oh, um…sure." Roy padded his pockets pretending to look for his wallet. "This is really embarrassing, but I left my wallet at home, so I'll just have an iced tea, thanks."
"Very well." Thrilled that he had busted the twink, Gary couldn't contain his glee. "Do you still want the bottle, sir, or just a glass?"
"A glass, thanks." When the waiter strolled away grinning, Bobby gripped his forehead, "Did you see the way he looked at me?"
"Sorry, I forgot to tell ya that Nick asked me to hand over my fake ID."
"Gary the waiter thinks I'm robbin' the cradle."
"Yeah, and he's jealous as hell." Laughing, Roy opened his menu. "Ooh, check it out, my Sugar Daddy took me someplace pricey."
Bobby hid his flushing face behind his menu.
"Desserts sound yummy, but it might be redundant to order sweets since you'll be havin' a twinkie later."
"You're killin' me." Half-laughing, half-cringing, Bobby sank lower in his chair.
"Uh oh."
"What?" Bobby braced for another tweak.
"That coroner guy, what's his name, David Phelps? Phillips? Nicky calls him Super Dave. He's here with his wife and they're headin' this way. If it's too much for you to say somethin' about us, you don't have to."
Not falling for the ruse, Bobby continued perusing the menu. "I think I'll have the Prime Rib."
"I wasn't kidding." Roy waved at Mr. and Mrs. Super Dave. "Howdy." Remembering his manners in front of a lady, he stood. "Good to see you both again."
"Hi." David smiled at Nick's relative and desperately tried to remember his name.
"Roy Stokes." He extended his hand to the lady.
His heart pounding in his chest, Bobby took a couple of deep breaths while everyone else chatted. "Excuse my bad manners," he announced while lowering the menu. "I um…" He stood, praying he wouldn't keel over from the stress. "I guess I was so absorbed in the menu and didn't hear you come over."
"You guys know Bobby of course." Feeling sorry for his panicked date, Roy decided to spare him from admitting the truth, "I'm buyin' him dinner in exchange for help with a school paper I'm doin' on ballistics."
"Yeah," Bobby nodded like a madman as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. "Actually no, he's not."
"He's not what?" Mrs. Phillips queried, wondering why her husband's coworker was growing paler by the second.
"He's not buyin' me dinner," Bobby sucked in another dose of oxygen. "I'm buyin' him dinner."
"Okay." Believing the men must have been battling over the check when he and his wife stopped by, David gave a polite smile. "Well, we should be going…"
"Roy and I are seein' each other," Bobby finally blurted. "Yep, that's right, I'm gay, and he's my boyfriend. Anyway, enough about me, you two should go enjoy your dinner, the prime rib is wonderful here."
"We're actually done eating," David replied while trying not to stare. "We were on our way out." Fearing his innocent remark would be seen as a quip, he overtalked, "On our way out of the restaurant…because we need to get home…to our baby. It's our wedding anniversary, and my mother-in-law is babysitting so we could have a romantic dinner."
"Congratulations," Roy cheered. "If you weren't done with dinner, I'd buy you a bottle of champagne, or Bobby would anyway, 'cause I'm not 21 yet."
"But he will be soon!" Bobby felt compelled to reply. "Well y'all have a good night." Shaking like a leaf, he returned to his seat and lifted the menu to hide once more. "Good seein' you both."
"Is he okay?" Mrs. Phillips asked when she saw Bobby's menu shaking.
"He's gonna be just fine," Roy assured the stunned couple. "Happy Anniversary. Enjoy the rest of your romantic evening together."
"You too," David gulped, unsure if his response would somehow be offensive. "Uh…"
"We will, thanks. Night."
Walking away, the stunned wife said to her husband, "Bobby and Nick are gay, but Henry's straight. Clearly my gaydar needs a complete overhaul."
Mine too! David thought, still in shock. "Bobby is divorced and has a daughter in Oklahoma. I think that's what made me assume he was straight. Well, that and his gun collection."
"How old is Bobby?" she asked while walking out the front door of the restaurant.
"Uh…37 I think, maybe 36."
"Hmm." She snickered, "I guess Grissom isn't the only one who likes them young."
Never one to idly gossip, he shook his head. "We shouldn't be talking like this." He dug in his pocket for the valet ticket and handed it over to the attendant.
"Do you think Bobby is the top or the bottom?"
"Honey!" Surprised his sweet wife even knew the terms, he said, "How would you like it if my coworkers stood around wondering how we had…" even though no one was around, he whispered the last word, "…sex?"
"Personally, my preference is to top from the bottom," Greg joked, cracking up the ladies. "Unless Nick pulls rank on me at work, then I like to come home and show him who's boss." When he saw his partner returning from the bathroom, he lied, "We're playing truth or dare."
"Sorry, I'm not drunk enough for that game." Nick returned to his spot on the couch and slipped his arm around Greg's shoulders.
"My turn," Carrie stated, ready to use the game ruse to gain some information. "Nick, do you want to have kids?"
"Yeah, but my doctor told me my lack of a uterus will make it difficult."
Having one too many glasses of wine, Jean retorted, "You could always use Carrie's."
Refilling his wine glass, Greg said, "We already have a surrogate lined up actually."
"You do?" Carrie's heart skipped a beat.
"Well, kinda," Nick corrected. "She's agreed, but it's still too early to say it's gonna work out. You've met her actually, it's Tawny Cooper."
"The stripper that slept with your brother for cash?" Carrie blurted.
"Yeah," Greg chuckled, "we like to keep things in the family. All joking aside, my mom is helping Tawny turn her life around. She moved into my parents' house, got completely de-stripperfied, and is taking three college classes. I'm tutoring her and she's actually pretty smart. Her dad was a math teacher and she was an A student until he died and her life went to hell thanks to her mother. She says she wants to get a college degree, be a surrogate mom for us twice, and then she's going to track down her mom and tell her she was wrong about her never doing anything good with her life. Cletus wants to write a country song out of the story."
Seeing the shock on Carrie's face, Nick explained, "Tellin' her she could be our surrogate was our way of gettin' her to clean up her act. We were hopin' she'd get used to livin' right and not want to return to the sex industry."
"But she loves livin' with my folks and she talks nonstop about having our kids." Greg sweetly laughed, "She's the only woman on the planet who has ever said she'd be psyched to have my kid, so naturally I'm flattered. She even volunteered to do it the old fashioned way, which would make her the only double-d babe who ever wanted to sleep with me, but we told her that would violate our monogamy policy."
"You're serious?" Carrie's hopes for a baby daddy were crashing before her eyes.
Meeting his partner's eyes, Nick said, "Are we serious?"
"Yes," Greg replied without hesitation. "I'm getting a little more excited about it every day."
***
Chapter 32: In Due Time"Sorry I'm late," Nick apologized to Carrie as he slid into the booth across from her at Frank's diner. After meeting a month ago and hanging out together with their partners a few times, they had become fast friends and valuable case resources to one another.
"Why did you suggest this place?" the ADA asked, feeling it was a little dumpy.
"It's tradition, the gang always come here," Nick flipped his coffee mug right-side up. "And the service is great," he added when his favorite waitress Betty Sue rushed over to pour coffee. "Thanks, sweetheart."
"Anything for you, Tex," the 58 year old strawberry blond from El Paso winked at her favorite cowboy. "The usual?"
"You know it."
"And what about your friend?"
"She'll do her own ordering." Nick grinned at his newest pal. "Trust me, she doesn't need a man tellin' her what she wants."
"That's right." Carrie smiled at the waitress, "I'll have an egg white omelet with veggies, no extra butter or grease of any kind, please. 2 slices of dry whole grain bread lightly toasted, and small glass of orange juice without pulp if you have it, thank you."
"Coming right up…Sally."
"High maintenance," Nick coughed into his fist.
"Shut up, Stokes." Carrie ripped open a packet of Splenda for her coffee.
"Oh sure, you say you eat healthy, and then you go and fill your coffee with toxic waste. One day when your kid is born with 3 arms, you'll remember I told you not to use that stuff."
Panicking that he wouldn't want to contribute sperm to a woman who drank artificially sweetened drinks, she set aside the packet. "You're right, you're absolutely right. As of right now, I'm done with the stuff."
"Diet Coke too? That stuff is chemicals in a can, Missy."
The concept of life without Diet Coke threw Carrie into a panic because she drank six cans a day. "Diet Coke too."
"Good for you. Like I said the other night, Greg and I are on a serious health kick. We've even vowed to only socially drink booze. That's a big step for me. I've been usin' beer and sex to decompress after work for a decade."
"You're giving up sex?"
"Yeah," Nick laughed, "the day that I die. Alcohol and calories in moderation, but we can have all the vigorous sex, exercise, and water as we want. I even did Yoga yesterday. Greg's into all that holistic crap, so I thought I'd give it a try. I kinda liked it, and Greg actually stayed quiet for five minutes while we were meditating, so that was nice. I wasn't actually meditating, I was makin' a mental To Do list, but it still soothed me." Lifting his coffee mug, Nick relaxed against the worn leather seat. "So, what did you want to discuss? The Madden trial?"
"Um…no."
"After we talk about your thing, I want to pick your brain about this supposedly unprosecutable case that's been drivin' me crazy."
"Okay." She worked up the nerve to pop the question.
"Are you okay? You look a little pale."
"I'm uh…"
"Are ya pregnant?" he asked with a smile. At dinner the other night, Jean had told Greg that Carrie was desperate to start a family before she turned 30 in December. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked, that's…"
"No, I'm glad you brought up the subject of pregnancy." Hearing her biological clock ticking in the background, she forged ahead, "I'm not pregnant, but I am dying to get pregnant. The problem is, it's hard to find someone willing to help us out, someone with the right health, intelligence, and character, who is also willing to be a part of the child's life. I know a lot of lesbian couples want just the opposite, they want a donation with no strings attached, but not me. I was really close with my father right up until he passed away two years ago. Jean and I want to be the primary parents, but ideally I would love the donor to be involved enough so that the child feels like they have a daddy as well as two mommies. I know plenty of guys who will donate, but so far none of them have been willing to be involved in the child's life. There are dozens of websites to help gay and lesbian couples find the right situation, but I've not had a gut feel about anyone's bio."
"I was worried about Greg and me bringin' kids into the world with no one to mommy them, but with Greg's mother around and now Cassie and Jenni as aunts, I think things will be covered. And who knows, Tawny may want to stay involved too."
"How's Tawny doing at Mama Jan's Baby Preparation Boot Camp?"
"Fantastic." Picking up his coffee mug, he relaxed in the booth. "She's completely recovered from her breast implant removal surgery and lovin' her new look…or I guess it's her old look," he chuckled. "Tawny, Cassie and Jenni all share a special bond, because they've been given a chance at a whole new life thanks to Jan and Dave. Seein' them thrive is great, but it makes me sad for all the hurtin' kids in this town who could use the same chance at a loving home and fresh start. It won't happen for most of 'em, y'know?"
"You're such a sensitive guy, Nick." She smiled, "And I mean that as a huge compliment."
"Thanks." Moving the attention off him, he said, "Tawny's still hell bent on bein' a surrogate for Greg and me. She thinks usin' her body for good will make up for usin' it for sinful purposes for years. She's kind of obsessed with karma after readin' some book she found at the library." He chuckled, "I told her it would be a hell of a lot quicker to ask the Lord for forgiveness and go about livin' right, but she said, and I quote, 'nah, no one would buy it, they'd just see me as another born-again ex-stripper bombarding them with Jesus talk to make them forget I was a big time slut.'."
"Considering I deal with pathological liars all day, I find her honesty is very refreshing."
"Me too." Grinning, he lifted his mug for a sip.
In the spirit of honesty, she blurted, "Would you consider being our baby's daddy? Jean and I think you have the perfect DNA for the job."
Choking on the coffee gulp he just swallowed, Nick couldn't reply.
"Sorry!" Carrie rushed around to slap her friend's back and screamed, "Put your hands up. Hands up!"
Thinking a robbery was going down, nearby cops jumped to their feet.
"It's okay!" Still coughing, Nick assured the dozen officers staring them down, "I was choking. We're cool."
"Sorry," Carrie whispered as she returned to her side of the booth. "I…I didn't mean to freak you out."
"Is that what this has been about?" Nick asked, feeling a little betrayed. "I really liked the idea of Greg and I havin' some normal gay friends that we could socialize with, but you were just bein' nice to us so I'd fill a specimen jar?"
"No, not at all, we really want to be friends with both of you, but I couldn't help but size you up, because you have so many of the qualities I've been looking for. Even if you say no, I definitely want to be friends, and I know Jean feels the same way. We've only been in Vegas for a short time, well Jean's from here originally, but we used to live in Seattle. We moved here so she could be near her mother who was diagnosed with MS. When you said you wanted four kids, I thought it was worth asking if you would be interested in going for two with me. Obviously, we have a massive amount of questions that I need answered, like do you intend to move away from Vegas to live in New Zealand and I don't know a thing about your parenting style. I have a list actually. There are 237 questions I would like to go through if you're interested in discussing the matter further. I'm sure you have a ton of questions and concerns too. If we get through that part, then the four of us would need to spend some quality time together and get comfortable."
Watching the lawyer pull a binder from her briefcase, Nick remained speechless.
"We could discuss the questions together, or if it's easier, I have them on a CD-Rom and you could take everything home and answer them on your computer."
"Wow."
"What?"
Still stunned, Nick vacantly said, "I've been on some pretty freaky dates with women, some of 'em propositioned me with real bizarre requests, but this is a first. Usually the women wanted to make sure I didn't get near their eggs."
"I made you an omelet, honey!" Jan yelled down the hall. "Ask your father if he wants more coffee!" Wiping her wet hands on her apron, she returned to the kitchen and filled a mug for Greg. "Shoot! I forgot to make toast."
"That's okay," Greg stated, overhearing his mother, "I didn't want toast anyway, and dad said no to more coffee."
"Only three weeks married to a carb-hater and you're anti-bread?" She handed over a steaming mug. "What's Nick going to brainwash you to do next? Go to church? Oh wait, that already happened last weekend."
"Hey, be happy your Jesus lovin' son-in-law agreed to take Cassie every Sunday so you don't have to." A few weeks ago, Cassie had mentioned to Nick that she really missed going to church and youth group, but didn't want to ask Jan or Dave to take her since they were already doing so much for her. "And he didn't ask me to stop eating bread, I changed my diet so I can get lean and make my six pack pop."
"For Nick."
"For me!" Greg laughed, "Roy hosted a little pool party the other day, and every guy there, even Bobby D, had better abs than me."
She mischievously giggled, "Suddenly I'm bummed I didn't pop over for a visit that day. Was it one of those wild gay pool parties where all the guys lose their trunks and…mingle?"
Cringing, Greg lowered his fork full of eggs, "Sorry to disappoint you, Jan, you dirty-minded freak, but group skinny dipping and backyard orgies are against our house rules. And to answer your earlier accusation, Nick didn't force me to go to church with him, he asked if I wanted to go and I said yes. I'm not anti-Jesus," he declared, lifting his coffee mug, "I can totally roll with what Jesus preached. I'm anti 'churches full of judgmental hypocrites who don't follow a damn thing Jesus said, but proclaim themselves Christians and believe they're superior to me'."
"That's exactly why organized religion is a sensitive subject with me, Gregory. Your grandparents got kicked out of the church in Norway when they conceived me out of wedlock, and not a single one of those so called Christians, including their own families, would give them the time of day when they were in need. They had to come to America and get help from atheist strangers." Taking a seat next to her son at the kitchen island, Jan said, "But since going to church is something Cassie needs, I'm not going to burden her with my negative feelings, especially after seeing how happy she was when she got home from the service yesterday."
"I felt great afterwards too." Greg stood to refill his coffee mug. "Who knew church would be like a rock concert complete with jumbo-tron TVs to see the ten-member band kickin' it on stage. Seriously, we were singing and clapping for like 30 minutes straight, how can you not feel jazzed after that? It's like spiritual caffeine."
"And you're sure it's gay friendly? Because the last thing I need to worry about is you getting your ass kicked by militant Christians who don't want you in their church."
"It said right on the handouts they gave us that they accept all people regardless of age, race, sexual orientation, etc, and we saw at least a dozen openly gay or lesbian couples there." Stirring his coffee, he returned to his seat. "After the service, when we were getting the youth group information for Cass, we met this really nice couple, Travis and Len. They have two adopted children and their daughter is twelve, so she'll be in the same group with Cassie on Wednesday evenings. We'll get to meet more people when we start going to this gay church group meeting thingy Cletus signed us up for where you talk about the Bible in more detail."
Jan chuckled, "That would be called a Bible Study Group, dear."
"Wow, I never thought I'd go to one of those."
"That would be called selling out for your spouse, sweetheart." She patted his cheek. "Just promise me you won't drink Kool-Aid if your new church friends hand you a cup and tell you it's time to go to heaven."
"I promise," he assured his religion-leery mother. "And I'm not selling out, I'm supporting my spouse, just like he does stuff to support me. I don't want him to have to go alone to a meeting alone when he's married, no more than Dad likes going alone to business parties without you. Nick wants to be able to respond to his family's concerns about homosexuality and the Bible, and that's the kind of stuff this group focuses on."
Smiling, she patted his shoulder. "You really are sounding very married, honey."
"Yeah." He laughed while forking more eggs, "Cletus and I are so married that we even went four days in a row without sex before we realized we hadn't had sex."
"Wow, your father and I didn't skip a day for the first two months of our marriage."
"Overshare," he groaned before chomping his last bite of omelet.
"Then again, you and Nick are a lot older than we were at the beginning of our marriage."
"I don't think it was our ages as much as the fact that we were pulling doubles and processing brutal scenes all week. We both needed spooning and sleep way more than sex."
"Aww." The doting mother reached for her son's empty dish.
"We're back!" Cassie shouted as she walked through the back door with Jenni and Tawny. "Jenni made it all the way to Grant Park without taking a rest! Can you believe it?"
"Way to go, sis!" Greg hopped off the kitchen stool to reward her with a hug. "You're gonna do great at Disneyland." She had been worried about slowing the group down if she didn't use a wheelchair.
"I can't believe we're leaving tonight!" The teen, who had never been to Disneyland, gushed with excitement, "I found this website that gives you tips on how to tour the park and use Fast Passes to get the most done with the least wait time. I plotted everything on a park map with different color markers and made contingency plans in case of unexpected ride closures or rain. I made this really cool log book to track our wait times, so I can report back to the website group if the plan worked, or if there were any errors in their logic."
Tawny shook her head at the analytical girl, "You could do all that, or you could just show up at the happiest place on Earth and go with the flow."
"My thoughts exactly," Jan chimed in, "the point of vacation is to kick back and lose track of time."
"Don't listen to them, sis." Greg beamed with pride, "This geek totally appreciates your over analytical approach."
"I can't believe the amount of research and planning you've done." Turning to page 17 in the binder, Nick read question 112, "Your 3 year old son isn't potty-trained, but all the other kids his age at the playground are. The parents start giving you a hard time about (insert your favorite name) still wearing diapers, what do you do?"
With baited breath, Carrie waited to see if Nick would answer the question correctly.
"I wouldn't give a rat's ass about what the playground parents think. I'd say I'm not gonna pressure Garrett to do something he's not developmentally ready to do. Some kids learn slower than others and bullying him into performing is gonna have the kid in therapy when he's 35 just like his daddy, who was spanked, screamed at, and threatened to perform every damn day of his stressed out childhood. I'd try to get Garrett to use the potty every couple of weeks, but if I sensed he wasn't ready, I'd back off knowing it will happen when the time's right." Grabbing his coffee mug, Nick asked, "Pass or Fail?"
"Pass! With flying colors! I didn't potty train until I was 4 years old, but I still went on to graduate at the top of my college and law school classes. I hate when I hear parents talk like their kid will be a total failure if he or she isn't out of diapers by 2 ½."
"Cool." Grinning, he checked the binder. "I'll keep goin'?"
"That's okay, you can stop answering them."
"Really? Because I already have my answer for the next one about appropriate preschool snacks. If the teacher served M&Ms and Twinkies every week, I'd be educatin' her on the dangers of empty carbs and sugar. Childhood obesity is out of control in this country. The last thing kids need to be learnin' in preschool is bad eating habits. I'd suggest baby carrots, whole grain goldfish crackers, and orange slices…as long as they were over 3, because there's choking dangers with fruit. My niece almost died chokin' on a hunk of orange when she was two."
Certain her search was over, Carrie beamed with excitement. "I'm really impressed."
"You're great at Algebra." Sitting at his parents' kitchen table checking Tawny's math homework, Greg happily reported, "You got every problem right. Your dad did a great job teaching you."
"He was voted Teacher of the Year at the high school and he went on to win the state Teacher of the Year contest too. The kids loved him." She excitedly shared, "After he died, the Student Council raised money to build this beautiful memorial garden for him on the school grounds, with real nice stone benches and a bird fountain. I haven't been back since I ran away, but I'm sure the flowers and trees are growing."
"What was the name of the school?"
"Taft High School."
Pulling his laptop close, Greg typed in the town and high school name. "Cool, they have a website. Maybe there's a photo of the garden."
"You think?" Tawny jumped out of her seat and rounded the table to stand behind Greg. "I never thought to check. Not that I have a computer, but I could have asked Benny at the club, he always has his with him."
"Check it out." Greg pointed to a link for 'Cooper Memorial Garden'.
Her blond ponytail swinging as she jumped, Tawny yelled, "Click it! Click it!"
"There you go." Staring at the photo of the beautiful tribute, Greg said, "The photo is dated, it's only two weeks old, so I think it's safe to say you know what it looks like today." When the sound of Tawny's crying echoed in the kitchen, he whirled around. "Tawny…"
"What's going on?" Dave Sanders asked as he entered the room. "I thought I heard crying." Living in a house with an overly emotional wife and three emotionally damaged girls, the odds of there not being tears every day were slim to none. "What happened, son?" he asked, knowing better than to ask the crying girl who wouldn't be able to get out a coherent word while sobbing.
"She wanted to know if her father's memorial garden was still growing, so I looked up the school's website on my laptop." Greg pointed. "It's really beautiful, but I'm guessing it brought back a lot of memories…good and bad."
Tawny wiped her face as Dave took her in his arms. "I miss him so much. He told me he'd always be here for me…that he loved me…so much and forever."
Knowing the guy died of a massive heart attack, Dave softly replied, "He didn't break his promise, Tawny. He just didn't expect to go so soon."
"I know," Tawny sniffled, feeling soothed by the fatherly embrace. "I made it to the hospital right before he died, and his last words were…I'm sorry, Princess, please don't cry."
"Hell, yeah, my son can cry if wants to." Sitting on a park bench watching a dozen toddlers on the playground, Nick said, "My father didn't let me cry. One time he slapped me across the face just for tearin' up."
"Why were you upset?"
"Because I broke my wrist in two places playin' ball and it hurt like hell."
"Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately." Nick raised his water bottle to his lips wishing it was a beer. "I think it's possible to be a good, strict parent without bein' a nasty bastard. I don't want to be my kid's best friend. I think kids want and need boundaries and rules to be successful and to do that right, you can't their buddy. It sucks bein' told you can't stay out 'til midnight when it seems like everyone is, so I know they're gonna get pissed at me, but hopefully they'll love me enough to know deep down that I wouldn't be sayin' it if there wasn't good reason. They can pretend to hate me for it, while really lovin' me for it."
"With all the horrible stuff we see and hear on the job, our child wouldn't stand a chance in hell of escaping a lecture."
"Our child." He smiled, "No offense, but that sounds so weird."
Staying positive, Carrie asked, "So you'll speak to Greg today?"
"Definitely." Watching a little boy toss a ball with his dad, Nick's desire for children grew. "I think he'll be more than okay with it. I think he'll feel like it takes the pressure off us doin' somethin' before he's ready. It's kinda like the potty training question…I don't want Greg to do somethin' he's not developmentally ready to do. This arrangement would give him a taste of parenthood without the demands and responsibility of a baby 24/7. It would be a safe way of testing the waters and giving him a chance to ease into the role and gain confidence. I absolutely know in my heart that he's going to be a great dad one day, but he has a tendency not to believe he's capable of something until he actually does it."
"He seems so sweet natured, I can't imagine kids not liking him. I never would have asked you if I didn't think Greg would make a great father too." "
"He's not been around them much. Me, I've been an uncle forever and takin' care of kids since I was fourteen. It comes real natural to me."
"It's so hard for me not to get crazy excited." Carrie was bursting at the seams. "I can't wait to be a mom."
"And you're really gonna put your career on hold like you said?"
"As much as I love helping victims and locking up scumbags, I've devoted the last ten years of my life to it and I won't feel guilty for taking a break to raise a family. Six months after the baby is born, I plan on donating my attorney services to a woman's shelter, so consulting will satisfy any legal urges I get."
"My friend Sara kinda came to that same type of conclusion recently. She walked away from her career to focus on her personal life and education. She's seems real content with the decision."
"When something's right, you feel it in your gut."
"Yeah." Observing a mother wiping her little girl's tears, Nick said, "Part of me thinks I'm insane for even entertaining this idea, but the other part is ready to go shoppin' for stuffed teddy bears and rattles."
"What's so insane about it?"
"For starters, we've only known each other a short time."
"All over this town people meet in bars and make babies an hour later without even knowing each other's last names. And what about the teenage girls who have babies without even knowing who the father is, because they slept with too many guys or were too drunk to remember who had sex with them. If parents were required to do the amount of due diligence that we're doing before they're allowed to conceive, there would be a hell of a lot less unwanted pregnancies, neglected and abused children, and domestic violence. Even married couples sometimes don't discuss their ethics and parenting styles before getting pregnant, then they find out after the baby arrives that they have drastically different opinions on how they intend to raise the child. And what about couples who divorce without thinking about their children? I've seen instances where children don't even know where they'll be sleeping after their parents call it quits. We'll have every scenario planned for and legally documented."
"When you put it that way."
"Don't you think a baby made by choice with the approval of four consenting adults has a great shot at a successful, loving life?"
"I do." Nick checked his watch. "Greg should be back from tutoring Tawny, so I'm gonna head home." He winked, "I'll call ya later."
Carrie waved him on, "Go, go! What are you waiting for?"
"It took ya long enough to get here." Bobby excitedly greeted his boyfriend with a kiss. "I have a surprise I've been waitin' to give you."
Roy kicked the door closed and yanked off his tee. "Give it to me, baby."
"Not that kind of surprise," the older man laughed while grabbing his lover's hand and dragging him toward the couch. "Sit and cover your eyes."
"Ooh, I'm intrigued."
"Good." Bobby rushed to the hall closet. "Hold out your hands."
"How can I cover my eyes and hold out my hands at the same time, D?"
"When you call me D, Nick thinks you're mocking him calling for callin' Greg 'G'."
"I was mocking him when I started callin' ya D," he chuckled, "but now I like it."
"Open your eyes."
When Roy saw a beautiful black Takamine acoustic guitar in his boyfriend's hands he said, "I didn't know you played."
"I don't." Bobby exploded into a giddy smile. "I wanted to get you somethin' nice as a thank you for encouragin' me to come out and start livin'. But I couldn't figure out what to buy a guy in return for givin' me somethin' priceless. Then the other day, I heard you play your friend Casey's guitar and you told me the story of sellin' your guitar in San Francisco. You said it was your most cherished possession. That's when I knew exactly what to get you." He presented the gift. "Nick did some checkin' with your friends back in Dallas and they said you played an EF341SC."
"Yeah," Roy replied, in awe of the instrument being placed in his hands. "This had to set you back 1300."
"1200," Bobby corrected while soaking in the joy on his boyfriend's face. "It hardly seems like enough in exchange for gettin' me to start livin', but I hope the guitar plus this helps round things out." Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved a silver key. "It's for my front door. You can use it to visit or you can move in and call it the key to our place. It's up to you, no pressure."
Overwhelmed by the moment, Roy sweetly replied, "I think I'm in love."
"I know I'm in love." Bobby crouched down and brushed his fingertips over Roy's cheek. "If I'm goin' too fast, I'm sorry, but my life's been on hold for so long," he choked up, "I…I can't help but rush, because I realize now that life's too short to not go for what I want."
"Can you believe she wants my sperm, G?" Nick said for the tenth time as he paced the family room carpet. "Not just the sperm, she wants me to have a role in the child's life, you too of course. Carrie and Jean would have primary custody and the baby would live there, but I would be the dad and later when the child is old enough to understand everything, they want it all out in the open. It's called a co-parenting arrangement and it's not uncommon with gay and lesbian couples apparently. There's even websites dedicated to hookin' up co-parents. She gave me a binder of paperwork to look at with you and discuss with a lawyer. Luckily we have a few in the family who work for free. So what do you think?"
"I…" Stunned by the news, Greg remained silent.
"Holy shit, are you actually speechless? You?"
"It's a lot to…wait a minute…have they been sizing us up this whole time?"
"Kinda, yeah."
"Did my sperm lose the coin toss or am I such a dweeb that I wasn't in the running from the start?"
"Uh." Nick hadn't considered his partner would feel inferior upon hearing the news.
"I wasn't in the running at all, was I? They were sizing you up, not me."
"Only because of my cholesterol levels." Nick was certain that would help his self-conscious partner feel better. "I have outrageously low levels and Carrie has a genetic…"
"How do they know my cholesterol isn't less than yours if they've only seen your medical records?"
"Oh, yeah, I didn't think of that." Nick took a seat on the coffee table across from his partner. "It's hard bein' in love with a genius."
"It's okay, Cletus, just say it." Greg slumped on the couch. "They didn't think I was daddy material."
"No, no, she never said that!" Nick looked him in the eyes. "Why would she want you to play a role in the child's life if she thought you weren't daddy material? Her exact words were 'I never would have asked you if I didn't think Greg would be a great daddy." "
"Really, I understand." Greg burst into a devious smile, "I want your body all the time, so how can I blame them for wanting it for their kid? Duh, of course they want you. Carrie already has the 1600 SAT score gene, so she doesn't need mine." Greg grabbed his spouse's hand and pulled him onto the couch next to him. "Just like me, she was lookin' for a stud."
"Next to gettin' serious with you, it's the biggest decision of my life."
"Yeah, and look how long you waited to get serious with me…two days."
"Hey, when it's right, it's right." Snuggled up on the couch facing each other, Nick asked, "Do you think we should say no, or do you want to wait and see how things go gettin' to know them?"
"A few weeks ago I probably would have said go for it, but today, I'm gonna have to say no."
Surprised that his partner gave such a quick and definitive answer, Nick said, "Really? Do you want to think about it a bit? Talk through the details?"
"No," Greg softly replied. "I used to think having kids was something you needed to do to feel complete as a Stokes man, because all the Stokes kids are brainwashed to believe that life isn't meaningful unless you grow up, get married, have a successful career, and make as many babies as possible."
"You said you used to think that?"
"Yeah." Smiling, Greg stroked his partner's cheek. "But after watching you with Cassie, I know you wanting a kid isn't about you checking off the 'parent box' on that subconscious 'Stokes Family To Do List' that haunts you. You really want to be a dad. If you agree to be the donor for Carrie and Jean you'll be able to say you're a daddy, and yeah, they'll let you be involved on a limited basis, but that's not going to be enough, not by a long shot. Can you honestly see yourself just visiting your first born child? Can you imagine having to call and see if it's a good time to stop by and hold your week old infant?" He shook his head. "No way, Cletus. Having limited access to your newborn when you're in daddy overdrive would make your time in the coffin seem like a day at the spa."
"You're right." Blinded by his desire to be a father and to help a woman he liked and respected, he hadn't stopped to consider how hard it would be to stay away from his child for significant chunks of time.
"And that's not my only reason for saying no." Greg paused to press a tender kiss to his spouse's lips. "As much as I like Carrie and Jean and want to help them, I'm going to be selfish and say that I want your first child to be our first child. I don't want you bonding with Carrie over the pregnancy and end up feeling like a third wheel. If we go the surrogacy route with Tawny, then it's our baby and we're equally as excited…the whole experience will be ours to share."
"God, I love you." Nick cupped his partner's face and kissed him hard.
"I love you too." As their noses brushed in an Eskimo kiss, Greg whispered, "After we have our family, I could totally get behind you helping Carrie and Jean or another couple that we could be compatible with, because it seems only right since we're going to need help from Tawny to have a baby."
"Yeah, yeah, I could too." Anxious about the future, Nick asked, "How soon would you be ready to go for it?"
"Right now sounds great." Joking, Greg popped open his jeans and pounced. "Oh! You meant for go for a baby."
"Are you planning to try for another baby right away?" Making notes in her chart, the OB/Gyn told her patient on the exam table, "Because if you are, I'd like to check your hcg level and verify that it has returned to normal."
Clutching Henry's hand, Mandy sat up and said, "No, the last pregnancy wasn't planned, so we won't be trying..."
"But we wanted the baby," Henry passionately told the doctor. "Just because it wasn't planned, doesn't mean we weren't happy about the pregnancy. We were thrilled, we were even polling co-workers about names, Dakota and Victoria won; Victoria is my grandmother's name. We were really looking forward to being parents together, and now that the pregnancy is over, how am I supposed to suddenly not want a baby?"
The doctor glanced up from her notes. "Miscarriage can be just as difficult on the father as the mother. These feelings you have…"
"Tell her to marry me!" Henry blurted, the emotions of the past three weeks finally taking their toll. "She thinks I only asked her because I felt sorry for her, or because I felt obligated, because I said I would marry her when she was pregnant, but she's wrong! I want to marry her because I love her and I can't imagine not spending the rest of my life with her."
"Henry, please," Mandy begged him, "we've already been through this. I want to be with you, I just don't want to rush into something when I'm an emotional wreck and can't enjoy it."
"She has a valid point," the doctor counseled the obviously distressed man. "You've both been through a lot, but on top of dealing with the loss, you need to remember that Mandy is physically off balance. Her body is going through changes and her hormone levels have plunged." She patted her patient's shoulder. "I'll tell the nurse you need a few minutes in here." She hurried to the door. "Take care."
"Sorry about the outburst." Henry moved his teary gaze to the floor. "I'll hold onto the ring until the time is right."
"Ring?" Mandy said, wiping her eyes. "What ring?"
"My grandmother's one carat diamond engagement ring." Henry pulled a gold velvet box from his pants pocket. "She said I could give it to you when I was crying on the phone to her telling her how much I love you and wish we still had our baby."
Her heart melted when she saw tears in his eyes.
"I'll stop at the bank on the way home and put it back in my safety deposit box."
"Could I see it first?"
"But then you won't be surprised one day in the future when I re-pop the question the right way at the right time in the right place."
Staring at her empty ring finger, she nodded, "I know it'll be worth the wait."
"They're ready for you to join them, Mr. Grissom." Stephanie, a perky 25 year old nurse's assistant motioned for the father-to-be to follow her.
Grateful the wait was over, Gil tossed the Newsweek magazine he had been reading and jumped to his feet. "Is everything okay?"
"I'm sure it is," she cheerily replied while opening the door to the ultrasound room. "Right in there."
"Thank you." Seeing his wife on the exam table with a sheet over her hips made his pulse rate soar.
"Hey." Sara smiled when she saw her anxious husband. "Get over here and hold my hand."
"Sorry." He chuckled at his stereotypical nervous father behavior.
"You're shaking."
"You're not?" Since hearing about Mandy's miscarriage, he felt constantly tense about Sara's pregnancy.
The ultrasound tech flipped off the lights. "Ready to meet your baby?"
"Yes," they answered, before taking deep breaths in unison.
With the ultrasound wand in hand, the tech warned, "You'll feel just a little pressure, Sara."
"Okay." She tightened her grip on Gil's hand while hoping for good news.
"There." The tech pointed to the flicker on the screen. "That little flutter is your baby's heartbeat, Mom and Dad. Everything looks great."
The scientists stared at their tiny miracle with mutual awe.
The tech smiled at the teary-eyed couple, "You're a day shy of 7 weeks pregnant and the estimated due date is February 17th."
"I'm not ready to have a baby," Greg blurted as his panic grew. Flipping through Carrie's 'Prospective Daddy Binder' in bed with Nick had made the romantic idea of having a baby together morph into the frightening reality of being responsible for a child 24/7 for the next 18 years. "I don't know how to answer some of these questions and some of them are scaring the hell out of me."
"It's a lot to take in all at once," Nick chuckled, "but you gotta remember all those needs and issues won't be happening all at the same time, G. You deal with the baby stuff, and then it's toddler stuff, then early childhood and puberty…"
"Dude! I haven't even gotten to the other parts yet, I'm still on the baby section."
"Oh." Nick tried not to laugh.
"I think I was wrong about the baby timeshare idea." Greg shut the binder and sunk into his pillows. "I think you should help out Carrie and Jean. I think I was acting like a self-centered brat earlier, making it all about me. I mean, we're asking Tawny to help us and make her first pregnancy all about us, but then I'm not willing to help another woman have a baby or let you experience fatherhood until I'm 100 percent comfortable."
"You're serious?"
"Yes!" Greg joked, "And I'd rather practice parenting on their child, and then get it right with my kid later."
"You're laughin', but honestly, I can kind of see it that way too." Propping up on an elbow, Nick said to his panicked mate, "I mean yeah, it'll be tough to not be with my baby all the time, but we need to get real and consider the flip side of that…with our careers, it'll be tough to be with the baby all the time too. What will be harder to do? Stayin' away sometimes when I want to be there? Or feelin' guilty for not bein' here as much as I should be? I don't know which would feel worse, but at least in the first scenario, the baby doesn't suffer for lack of a parent or from havin' overly stressed parents. I know your mom has volunteered to help, but your mom has a lot on her plate with Cassie and Jenni. We can't burden her with takin' care of our baby until they're settled, which will take a while, G."
"Yeah."
"And what if you and I find it too difficult to have a baby with our careers, it's not like we can take it back. If we have the baby with Carrie and find out it would be too much to do full time, then there's no harm done, and we still get to be part-time dads. If we find ourselves lovin' it and wantin' a full time family here, then we haven't lost anything, we still have that option, and we'll know exactly what we need to do to care for a baby full time, rather than goin' in blind and assuming we know."
"I couldn't agree more."
"And Carrie will be a fantastic mom."
Holding up the binder, Greg said, "And the most organized PTO President this town has ever seen."
"No doubt," Nick chuckled. "I don't know, G…it's a huge decision and we keep goin' back and forth."
"Yeah, but you never changed your mind about wanting to be a dad, it's always me freaking out or us debating how we'd go about it." Greg quietly admitted, "I want to be as confident as you, but…I'm not, and I'm really scared I'll panic and balk after you tell Carrie no. Then you won't get to be a full or part time dad. And after seeing Tawny so emotional today, she needs a daddy more than she needs to make us daddies in the next year."
"I don't want you to agree to something you're not ready to do."
"I know." After a minute of contemplative silence, Greg faced his partner, whispering, "After watching people's dreams getting crushed every night in this city, how cool would it be to make someone's dream come true?"
Caressing his partner's cheek with the back of his hand, Nick softly replied, "It would be a real nice change of pace."
"Exactly what I was thinking." Greg reached for the phone excited to make some dreams come true that morning.
"You never come to the studio in the morning." Jean walked to meet her partner at the lobby door. "Slow day in court or…wait…you've been crying."
As Carrie nodded, a fresh batch of tears pooled in her eyes.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Grateful she didn't have a class to teach for another hour, Jean asked, "Is it the case with the little girl who…"
"Nick called."
"Oh, honey." Jean rushed to embrace her. "You showed him the binder, didn't you? I wish you would have…"
"No." Carrie finally choked out, "Nick loved the binder, and he talked to Greg…they said yes."
***
Chapter 33: It's a Small World After All – Part 1"The girls' suitcases and backpacks are by the front door," Dave informed his wife who was busy at the kitchen counter packing a cooler of snacks and drinks. "They were bouncing off the walls watching the minutes crawl by, so I told them to go for a swim. Tawny's reading by the pool and watching them."
Nodding, Jan stuffed the last of the food in the cooler. "I made two sandwiches for everyone and…"
"It's only a three and a half hour drive and the girls have already eaten dinner."
"I just want to make sure they have plenty of food in case they break down."
"Why are you so nervous?" he queried, wrapping his arms around his wife from behind. "You're acting like we're putting them on a bus to go to Disneyland alone."
"I hate the idea of driving on the highway with the girls late at night." She grumbled, "But Nick demanded they leave at nine."
"The boys needed to sleep after getting home from work and the girls wanted to be at the park when it opens in the morning. They only have three days to fit in everything they want to do, and they have to do it at Jenni's pace." When his wife only muttered under her breath, he stepped away from the embrace. "Sweetheart, Nick is more than capable of protecting the girls if they break down, and he told me he purposely took his truck in for a tune up and new tires last week so it would be in peak shape for the drive."
She rolled her eyes as she zipped the cooler shut.
"What has gotten into you?"
"How can you not have a problem with your son living to follow Nick's orders?" Her irritation growing, she snipped, "He's following him to church of all places! To Bible Study. I can't even believe my genius son is going to step foot in a Bible class. I'd love to see his face when they discuss creationism. He's a scientist for crying out loud!"
"It's a support group for gay Christians, not a Bible brainwashing course."
"Greg never showed any interest in going to church until he became Nick's dutiful wife."
"No, I think he's always been curious about religion, just like he's curious about most things, but he knew you'd disapprove if he went, and he was too much of a Mama's Boy to do anything that would upset you."
"That's absurd."
"You have a very selective memory, my dear. I vividly recall you having a fit when Greg came home from Stanford and said that Lacey's family invited him to Midnight mass on Christmas Eve. You ranted nonstop until he called her and said he couldn't go because he didn't realize we had made special plans for the night. He felt compelled to lie to his girlfriend, because he didn't want you to be mad. Does that sound healthy to you? And that's just one example of how you undermined his relationship with her."
Recalling the drama her husband had described, Jan busied herself about the kitchen in silence.
Dave warned his church-hating wife, "You're going to end up hurting Cassie's feelings if you keep ranting about Greg going to church. She's the one who asked to go, remember? Nick is just the guy taking her, and Greg's tagging along because he's curious and enjoys spending time with his husband on his days off."
"Okay fine, but what about Greg turning his nose up at carbs and sugar all of a sudden? Three weeks as Nick's wife and our son is so obsessed with his appearance that he even can't eat his favorite childhood treat without feeling bad?"
Dave replied with conviction, "Personally I'm thrilled he's taking an interest in getting lean and bulking up, because it lessens the odds of him getting his ass kicked again." Chuckling, he added, "And I can't blame him for feeling self-conscious about his body when he has to take his shirt off at pool parties in front of gay studs like Roy. Remember how you felt when we joined the country club and you found yourself lounging at the pool with Barbie dolls? You didn't get a breast lift and tummy tuck for my benefit, Jan, it was so you would feel better in front of your peers. Same thing with Greg, he knows Nick loves him the way he is, but he hates feeling like the scrawniest guy poolside."
Having lost her second argument in five minutes, Jan decided to launch her third complaint on the way out of the room and away from her logical husband, "Fine! But nothing is going to convince me that Nick isn't keeping our son on a short leash so he can call all the shots!"
"Shut up and roll over, Tex." Greg snickered as he threw open his nightstand drawer. "We only have an hour, and before I spend three chaste nights in a thinly-walled hotel suite with my impressionable young sisters, I need a little quality time with your ass."
"And what if I say no?" Nick playfully replied without budging.
"I don't recall asking for your opinion." Greg shoved his lover onto his stomach. "You know you're going to insist on driving to Anaheim, and once we're at the happiest place on Earth you're bound to go Type A." Flipping open the bottle in his hand, he grinned, "So, I'm taking some concentrated time in the driver's seat before I hand you the literal and proverbial keys for the next 72 hours. Fair enough? Good." With great glee he drizzled liquid onto his partner's unsuspecting body.
"Geez!" Nick jumped from the cool jolt to his heated flesh, "You shoulda warmed that stuff up."
"You're lucky I'm warming you up," Greg rasped as he hastily began. "You're lucky I even woke you up. I'm in a very impatient mood thanks to a saucy little dream I had."
In between moans, Nick said, "Tell me about your naughty dream."
Greg shared the details while nipping and kissing the delectable body before him, "We had the whole It's a Small World ride to ourselves and I was having my way with you in boat number 43. All the little toy dolls were cheering and clapping, except the Japanese dolls, they were taking pictures. Then when we…"
"I've heard enough, thanks." Nick glanced over his shoulder. "My grandparents took me on that ride when I was little, so I don't want it dirtied up."
Ignoring the request, Greg hummed the ride's irritating theme song while slicking his aroused anatomy.
"Hey, G…why does handlin' your wiener inspire you to sing It's a Small World?"
"Good one." Gripping his lover's hips, the power-hungry top made a bold move.
"Damn." It was his partner's most aggressive start to date.
"I guess it's not a small world after all." Tossing his head back, Greg laughed at his own joke.
Guttural noises accented the complacent bottom's words, "And to think….your mother believes…I'm in charge around here." After a deep breath in and out, he joked, "G, I have to sit in a car for hours tonight."
"Aww." Watching his lover submissively drop his head onto the pillows drove Greg wild. "That's right…suck it up, tough guy." Several lusty minutes later, he released his vice grip on Nick's hips and pushed him onto his back. "I just realized I forgot to say good morning."
"It's 8pm."
"But it's morning for us." While dispensing wet, hot kisses, Greg re-positioned himself over his man. "A very good morning."
"MmmHmm."
"Love you, Cletus."
"Love you too." Nick squirmed as his devious lover tormented his body with false starts. "Come on."
"Say please."
"Please, baby." When their bodies were merged once more, Nick said, "I doubt the hotel's wake up call will be as good as this one."
"I don't know, for a nominal fee you can request that Mickey Mouse will personally call you every morning."
Nick's smile faded. "Bringin' up Mickey Mouse while we're havin' sex is seven kinds of wrong."
Greg responded by humming the theme from the Mickey Mouse club.
"Twisted."
"Is that your new safety word?"
"No." Nick lunged for a kiss. "My safety word is still 'timeout', but don't worry, there's not a chance in hell I'll be usin' it."
"Good."
"So good," Nick moaned, as his hands reached for the body rocking above him.
"I told you yoga would increase your flexibility."
"It's relaxin' too. I'm gonna do it every day."
"Good boy." Enjoying the playful tone of their love making, Greg joked, "That reminds me, I need to measure your neck for that rhinestone dog collar I'm getting you as a wedding present."
"Like I'd wear it."
"Like I'd give you a choice, bitch."
The over the top line threw them both into laughter.
"You're too much, G."
"I'll take that as a physical compliment, thank you." While attempting to yank his partner closer, Greg felt a familiar sharp pain in his shoulder.
"You okay?" When Nick saw him wince a second time, he said, "Your shoulder actin' up?"
"Yeah." Greg rolled onto his back and massaged the tender spot. "Sorry, but it's hard to pull off dominating you when I'm whimpering."
The cowboy straddled his disappointed lover's hips and gave an encouraging smile. "C'mon, you can still order me around."
The top's smile returned. "Giddy up, Tex…and you better make it a long, hard ride."
After a pretend tip of his hat, Nick followed orders. "I think I'm gonna buy you a black Stetson and a pair of chaps as a wedding gift."
"Nick will probably start picking out Gregory's clothing," Jan told her husband who was attempting to ignore her as she buzzed around his home office. "He already mocks his shirts."
"Yeah, and Greg mocks Nick's love of country music constantly, and he razzes him about his quirks all the time. It's what newlyweds do, Jan." Although he was thrilled that his wife had drastically reduced her Valium intake, he was starting to wish she hadn't.
"I never would have predicted you as president of the Nick Stokes fan club."
"And why shouldn't I be?" Dave replied without looking up from his laptop. "He's a great husband and one day he'll be a terrific father."
"Nick only agreed to have his sister review the legal paperwork," Jean reminded her partner, "it's not a done deal yet, so please don't jump the gun. I think we should be cautiously optimistic."
"Okay, okay." Instead of daydreaming, Carrie resumed working on her opening argument for a rape trial she was prosecuting.
"I'm just being careful," Jean teased, "because I know those lawyer types are irritatingly picky when it comes to contracts."
"Our little brother has lost his mind!" Attorney Nancy Stokes breathlessly informed her youngest sister Gwen, as she marched into her house waving a file. "He wants to donate his sperm to a lesbian couple and co-parent a baby with them."
"What?" Gwen gaped at her eldest sister as she closed the front door.
Holding up the file, the lawyer explained, "He asked me to review the paperwork. I can't believe he's seriously considerin' time sharin' a baby with a woman he just met a month ago. How desperate can he be?"
"Pretty desperate," Gwen replied, recalling her recent conversations with her brother. Walking toward the kitchen, she shared, "I've been speakin' to him at least twice a week and he's definitely baby crazy. I mean he's always wanted a family, but after he almost got shot on the job, he's become obsessed. He was cryin' as he talked about almost dyin' without ever bein a daddy. Then last week he was real emotional about Cassie McBride and how hard it is droppin' her off to let someone else parent her when he feels such a strong paternal bond with her."
"You know I love Nicky as he is, and I have no problem with him bein' gay and gettin' hitched to Greg," Nancy took a seat at the kitchen table and dropped her purse onto the chair next to her, "but after readin' about a couple of lesbians and a couple of gay men tryin' to time share a kid because they can't have one on their own, there is some truth to gay marriage bein' unnatural. How can a bunch of different people raise one child?"
Handing her career-obsessed sister a glass of iced tea, Gwen delicately said, "No offense, but you've had a live-in nanny or maid takin' care of Skye and Travis so you and Lyle could pursue your careers. It's kinda the same thing only y'all live under your roof. How many hours a day did you see Skye once you returned to work?"
"It's really sad to say this out loud, but when I was workin' to make partner at the firm, most days I only got to hold her in the morning and kiss her while she was asleep at night."
"See."
Understanding her sister's reasoning, Nancy countered, "I get your point, but Skye was still my full-time child and I knew I could see her whenever I wanted. On holidays and vacations, she was all mine. In this co-parenting situation, the lesbian couple will have primary custody and Nicky will only get visitation rights, granted it's a very generous visitation schedule, and they clearly want him and Greg to be very active father figures, but if Nicky wants to be with his child on major holidays or the kid's birthday, he has to be with the women too. He couldn't bring the baby to Dallas to be with us at Christmas or to Greg's parents' house to be with Cassie unless the women come along. If he wants to bring his child on vacation, he has to get their permission, and not just for the locale, but for the activities they do while on vacation."
"What if the lesbians move away?"
"According to the contract, they can't move more than fifteen miles away from Nicky unless he gives them permission. But the flip side of that is, they don't want him movin' either, because they don't want the child growin' up without a daddy." Seeing her sister's reaction, Nancy said, "Now do you see why I think it's crazy? They have to live together, celebrate holidays together, vacation together…it's like the four of them are marryin' when they barely know each other! What if Greg ends up not likin' the mother of the baby? If he wants to stay with Nick, he's either stuck with the baby mama for the rest of his life or he's leavin' Nicky. I feel bad enough that Greg is stuck dealin' with certain Stokes family members for the rest of his life, now he has to put up with all this too. And what if Nicky can't stand his baby mama's partner? Or what if they never give him permission to bring the kid to Dallas or ride a horse?"
"He needs to get their permission to put the kid on a horse?"
"Here." Nancy slid over the contract. "There's a 'dangerous sports clause' and horseback ridin' is listed along with scuba divin', ice hockey, oh hell, the list is huge, see for yourself."
Gwen took a seat across from her sister and flipped through the packet, which Nancy had tagged with 43 numbered sticky notes. "Okay, yeah, this is crazy." She glanced up from the document. "How could he not think these stipulations are crazy?"
"Honey, I don't think he read the packet in detail before he faxed it over to me. He had just gotten it and was in a rush to get to sleep."
"Even if the rules weren't crazy, how the hell is Nicky gonna time share his first born child if droppin' off Cassie makes him cry?" Feeling sad for her brother, Gwen shook her head. "Poor Nicky, he's obviously so desperate he's not thinkin' things through."
"That's okay, that's what expert lawyers and loving sisters are for." Nancy, who had also handled her brother's will and reviewed his Domestic Partnership Agreement, sighed into her iced tea, "If Nicky married a woman, his life would be far less complicated and he could have as many kids as the woman would agree to squeeze out."
"Isn't that exactly why it's so damn obvious that it's not a choice to be gay? Who would anyone sign up for these complications if they didn't have to?"
"You're preachin' to the choir, sister, but unless you have a certified letter from God to present to Linda, Eileen, Chuck, and Daddy, don't waste another breath tryin' to convince them Nicky isn't choosin' to be gay just to make them uncomfortable."
Gwen laughed, "Yeah, I'm sure Nicky was sittin' around one day wonderin' how he could make Linda uncomfortable when the obvious answer came to him…I'll just bend over and let a guy have my ass."
"You don't think he actually lets Greg…" When she saw her sister nod, Nancy gasped, "You two have spoken about…that."
"Yeah, we've always talked openly about sex." Gwen sweetly chuckled, "I'll never forget the time Nicky called me from A&M his sophomore year all freaked out because a girl wanted to have sex with him while havin' her period."
"You'd think sharin' a bathroom with his sisters' pads and tampons would have desensitized him over the years."
"And don't worry about Jenni having her period while you're away," Jan cheerily informed her son as they walked through the master bedroom to get to her bathroom, "she finished last week."
"Why would I need to know that?" Greg shivered from the overshare. "Eww."
"What if the poor girl needed a maxi pad while you're at Disneyland?"
He laughed, "She could always ask Cinderella to spot her one."
"Seriously, it's not like she can drive to the store, Gregory. She'd have to ask you to take her or to pick some up yourself."
"I've never bought feminine supplies before in my life."
"What are you going to do if you have a daughter one day?"
"There are four women in this house that can educate her on the horrors of being a female, so why would I ever have to talk about that icky stuff?"
"So you're going to outsource all the uncomfortable parts of parenting?"
He thought about telling his mother about the potential co-parenting arrangement, but knew she'd flip out.
"Your father was out of town when you had your first nocturnal emission; lucky for you I wasn't afraid to discuss icky stuff or you would have spent five terror-filled days believing your body was exploding."
"Lucky isn't the word I would have chosen, but…" Remembering his promise not to be a jackass, he didn't finish his sentence. "Thanks for always being there, Mom."
Opening the medicine cabinet Jan queried, "Why do you need Advil, honey?"
"I aggravated my old shoulder injury."
"How?" She handed him the bottle of anti-inflammatory pills.
"I'd rather not say."
"Did Nick shove you again?"
"What?" The question caught him completely off guard. "I can't believe you'd even think…"
"Sorry, it's just that he's been very bossy lately."
Feeling blindsided, he stared at her in disbelief. "What are you talking about? When has he been bossy?"
"When he was insisting on paying for your honeymoon suite out of his pocket, and then when he got territorial over me footing the bill for a deluxe suite at The Grand Californian this weekend. Or what about how he snapped at you for loading the dishwasher wrong when I was over your house last week, or how he got huffy because you forgot to follow his ridiculous pantry organization structure." She lowered her voice, "Be honest, sweetheart, doesn't it feel like he's controlling your every move?"
"Considering I hurt my shoulder pinning him down while I was screwing him senseless, I'd have to say no." His anger rising, he held up the pill bottle. "Thanks for the Advil, I gotta go."
Worried, Jan followed him into the master bedroom. "Honey, how do I know your 'I hurt my shoulder during sex' story isn't a BS story just like when you lied to your father about your bruise happening during sex?"
"Because it's not a lie!" he yelled, whirling around. "And since I don't have a track record of lying to you like I do with Dad, I expect you to believe me!"
"Don't yell at me, Gregory Hojem Sanders!"
"Don't accuse my husband of being abusive! He's not!" Shaking with anger, he struggled to calm down, "Yes, he likes to have things a certain way around the house, but it doesn't bother me, and here's why. Childhood abuse victims often find comfort in overly structuring their lives because they need to feel in control of their environment. I get that, and because I do, I'm more than happy to load the dishwasher the way he likes it and remember not to put boxes and cans on the same shelf in the pantry. Trust me, after what I've been through in the last year, being reminded to put the dish soap bottle under the sink when I'm done using it doesn't ruin my day."
"I didn't know that's why he's like that about the house."
"Because you're my mother, not Nick's spouse or his therapist. You're not supposed to know the private details of my married life. I shouldn't have to tell you that Nick insisted on picking out and paying for the honeymoon suite, because he's a romantic guy and he wants to make the night special for me on his own, rather than having my parents orchestrating what will hopefully be a very inmate night."
"He could have just said that."
"He tried to be subtle, but you weren't getting the point and like a normal person, he didn't really want to discuss his sex life with his mother-in-law."
"Fine." Jan moved on to her next point. "What was the big deal about this weekend with the girls then?"
"It meant the world to Nick to take Cassie on a nice vacation on his own dime, but then you had to show her photos of the deluxe suite at The Grand Californian in front of everyone and say you'd pay for us to stay there so the girls could have a first class vacation instead of slumming it off the Disney property. Of course he was irritated! You referred to his plans as 'slumming it'."
"He had a reservation at the Howard Johnson's off the freeway ramp, Gregory! It's not like I wasn't being accurate."
"Could you be more of a snobby..." He stopped himself before saying bitch. "That was an incredibly crappy thing to him, mom. Next time, why not just slice off his balls in front of a crowd?"
"Why did he take me up on the offer if I upset him?"
"Did you even read Cassie's essay?" he snarked. "Nick's the kind of guy who makes sacrifices for the people he loves. Once he saw Cassie was excited about staying there, he wasn't going to let his pride get in the way of her good time."
"What's going on?" Dave asked when he entered the room and saw tears in his wife's eyes. "The girls and Nick are waiting in the truck. You were only supposed to be right back, Greg."
"Our son got sidetracked getting Advil and calling me a meddlesome bitch."
"I never said she was a bitch," Greg quickly told his father, fearing he'd get blasted. "She just refuses to believe I'm happily married and that Nick isn't a controlling asshole who is ruining my life by making me load the dishwasher a certain way. After everything Nick's done for me and Cassie…it's so god damn frustrating, Dad!"
"Uh oh." Jan shook her finger. "Your new church friends would be terribly disappointed in you, son. You just broke one of their precious commandments."
"I'm about to break a few more!"
"Enough!" Dave stepped in the middle of the fray. "Both of you, calm down." He turned to his son, "She's tense from not taking Valium, you know how that goes, we've been through it before. She's also pissed that you're going to church, and you know the story there. Unfortunately, it's easier for her to say Nick is corrupting you than to accept that you're going against her wishes by choice. She loves you, she'll get over it, and you love her even though she drives you crazy sometimes." The peacemaker pointed to the door, "Now that we have that settled, go have a good time on vacation."
"Wait." The sniffling mother opened her arms. "Hug me before you go, Gregory." When he did, she attempted to joke away the tension, "Thank you, sweetie, I just wanted one more hug in case you're violently killed because your stubborn husband insisted on driving on the dangerous freeway late at night."
Getting it was a joke, Greg replied, "You really are a colossal bitch, Jan."Laughing with his parents, he said, "You know, if you're out of Valium, Mom, I'll be more than happy to risk my freedom and career by scoring some off the streets so Dad doesn't have to suffer the whole time we're gone."
"Nah." Dave shook his head, "Why risk it? I'll just keep her liquored up until you and the girls return safely." He patted his boy on the back. "Have a safe trip, and don't forget to call us when you get to the ridiculously overpriced hotel that your husband will never be able to afford on his measly public servant salary."
"I promise."
"And here…" Grinning, he tucked a 5 bill in his son's shirt pocket. "In case the control-freak won't give you money for an evil carb-filled, sugar-coated churro, you can buy one on your own."
"Sweet!" Greg laughed as he exited the room.
When Gwen Stokes-Dawes saw her daughter peering into the room, she told her sister, "We're being watched by a four year old spy who should be asleep."
"I'm gonna be five in July!" The happy-go-lucky girl skipped into the room, her smile wide and her long brown hair flowing. "Hi, Aunt Nancy!"
"Hiya, sugar." After pecking her niece on the cheek, the aunt said, "Your mama was just tellin' me you got a pretty new dress for Uncle Nicky's party."
"It's not a party," Kayla corrected her aunt, "it's a weddin', but Uncle Nicky's not marryin' a princess, he's marryin' a boy!"
Gwen smiled at her sister. "We figured we had to tell her ahead of time or she'd be yellin' 'where's the bride' in the middle of the ceremony. She was so taken with the idea that she's been havin' pretend boy weddings with her Ken dolls all week."
"I'll go get 'em!"
When her daughter bolted from the room, Gwen said, "You shoulda heard Kayla tellin' the sweet old ladies at the department store all about her uncle marryin' a boy. The looks we got…"
"I can only imagine." Nancy chuckled at the image of a four year old educating a gaggle of horrified church ladies on gay marriage. "I hope you paid cash so the sales clerk didn't see the Stokes name on your credit card. The last thing Mama and Daddy need is another family scandal."
"I've been usin' cash everywhere, because when a stranger sees 'Stokes' on my credit card they ask if I'm related to Charles Stokes, the sleazy politician who got caught havin' sex with a hooker in Vegas. I'm really tired of talkin' about that BS."
"Think how bad it is for poor Melanie as the sleazy politician's wife who publically forgave the bastard during a televised press conference. She's countin' the minutes to the next Dallas scandal, so people leave her alone. So is Daddy, because the reporters have stopped carin' about his opinions on Supreme Court decisions, they just want his thoughts on his adulterous son running for office."
"I still can't believe Chuck's legal team got him off the hook in Vegas, while his PR folks managed to salvage his campaign in Dallas."
"It's the age-old 'boys will be boys' mentality in this town." Still irked by the outcome, Nancy griped, "If a married female politician had been caught gettin' it on with a 21 year old boy toy, she would have been crucified as a whore and be out of a job, but our dashingly handsome jock brother gets to keep his job, his family, and his campaign."
"Speakin' of boys will be boys." Gwen pointed to her returning daughter.
Waving her tuxedo-clad Ken dolls, petite Kayla excitedly told her aunt, "Mama said there's gonna be two boys on top of the weddin' cake!"
"I guess there will be, huh?" Nancy hadn't considered it.
"Did you know some boys kiss on the lips?"
"Yes, I did know that." Nancy changed the subject. "Hey, tell me all about your pretty new dress. What color is it?"
"It's a yellow princess dress, just like Belle's." The little girl spun arond. "When I do this, it goes in a biiiig circle."
"Are you excited about goin'?"
"Yep! I'm the only little kid in the family that's goin'. Mama said it's 'cause Uncle Nicky likes me best."
"Of course he does, sugar." Nancy knew the real reason was that Linda, Eileen and Chuck were boycotting the wedding and Marcia would be too pregnant to go.
Lifting her daughter into her arms, Gwen said, "She just found out yesterday that we're goin' to Disneyland the day after the weddin'. It's her birthday present."
"Yeah!" Her big brown eyes lighting up, Kayla told her aunt, "I get to meet Cinderella at her castle!"
"I want my picture with Prince Charming," Jenni announced from the back seat.
"Me too!" Greg told his sugared-up and giggling sisters. "I hear Tarzan is quite a stud too."
"I don't care about pictures," Cassie told her vacation mates, "All I care about is goin' on the fast rides."
"I'm with you, Cass," Nick assured her. "I've not been to the California Adventure part and that coaster looked real fun when we were checkin' out the website, and the Tower of Terror looks great too."
"I'm not doing that one." Jenni shook her head. "No way."
"Don't worry, sis." Handing over another Red Vine, Greg told her, "We'll split up for a few hours every afternoon and let the adrenaline junkies run around the park together. We'll need to give your legs a rest anyway, so we'll chill poolside and check out the cute boys together." When Nick shot him a look, he laughed, "Where's the fun in having a gay brother if you don't read fashion magazines together by the pool and scope out cute guys?"
"A girls weekend in Palm Springs is just what I needed." Lounging poolside in the moonlight with Wendy and Jacqui, Mandy lifted her tropical cocktail to her lips.
"Everyone thinks we're a trio of lesbians," Jacqui grumbled, "How am I going to get laid if every guy here thinks I'm a lesbian? Do you have any idea how dire my situation is? I'm officially the only person not getting laid at the lab now that Wendy is riding Hodges."
"I am not!" the DNA Tech screeched.
Ignoring her coworker's glare, Jacqui whined, "Bobby D snagged himself a hot young stud, why can't I? What karmic burden am I carrying around from a previous life that keeps me from getting laid?"
Wendy laughed into her cosmopolitan. "I can't speak to your karmic burden, but you can blame Mandy for you not getting lucky this weekend."
"For the tenth time, I'm sorry!" Mandy lowered her voice to a whisper, "I had no idea this place was a gay resort until after we checked in."
Jacqui wasn't buying it. "I think she purposely made the reservation here so Henry wouldn't worry that she'd get picked up poolside."
"Me too," Wendy slurred into her 5th drink. "How many times has Prince Henry called her anyway?"
Jacqui snickered into her margarita glass, "One less time than Prince Hodges has called you, Wendykins."
"For the last time, Hodges is calling with work stuff."
"Surrrrrrre," the skeptical co-workers sang out.
"I'm not lying!" Wendy blushed red. "How many times do I have to tell you, there's nothing going on between us?"
"Simms and I started sucking face two weeks ago," Hodges confessed to Henry as they drove toward Palm Springs to spy on their women. "Last weekend we went to second base."
"I knew it!" Henry smacked his hand on the steering wheel while accelerating. "I saw Wendy going into the supply closet with two buttons open on her blouse, but when she exited, she had three buttons open. A minute later you left the closet looking smug…well…smugger than usual."
"We've decided to take things slow, like mature adults."
"She said no when you asked her to sleep with you, huh?"
"I thought for sure she'd say yes!" Hodges gripped his head with both hands. "I did everything by the book...flowers, candlelight, romantic dinner, but when we stumbled into my bedroom making out, she got cold feet."
"What kind of sheets did you have on the bed? I hope you didn't have those Partridge Family ones that you got off Ebay."
Hodges rolled his eyes. "It wasn't my sheets that made her bolt."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because she couldn't see them, my Return of the Jedi comforter was on top of the bed."
"Who knew bugs were such a popular bedding motif?" Sara waved her husband over to look at the baby supply catalog. "Ants, butterflies, dragonflies…"
"Cockroaches?"
"No," she laughed.
"I kind of had my heart set on a racing roaches theme." Picturing the décor in his head, he said, "Think Madagascars with blue, red, or green numbers painted on their backs and have them racing around a track. In the stands, the spectators would be all different types of bugs holding signs and boxes of popcorn."
"And what would we do if we have a girl?"
"Isn't obvious, Sara?" He joked, "If we have a girl, then we paint the roach racing numbers in pink, purple and fuchsia."
"Right." Laughing, she pointed to Page 43. "But I also like this for a girl."
"Ladybugs." A smile crested on his face as he dreamed of his daughter slumbering in the room as pictured.
"What do you think?"
"I love it." Tenderly stroking his wife's hair, he said, "But what I love most is seeing you get excited about the pregnancy. I'm really happy, Sara."
"Me too." She nodded. "Seeing the heartbeat made it so real."
"I felt the same way."
"And considering what happened with Mandy, it was comforting to hear the doctor say the odds of miscarriage are low once the sac is properly formed and the baby's heart is beating."
"I still don't want to tell anyone for a while."
"Me either." Sara smiled, "We'll just let people think I've gained weight from being home and depressed."
"Have you made a decision about work yet?" he asked, hoping she would decide to return to her old job. "You can't keep secretly working casefiles at home."
"I'm waiting for a sign, something that tells me it's time to go back to the lab. Until then, I don't know." She shifted her gaze to the catalog once more. "But I do know I definitely want this bedding if we have a daughter, because there's not an ounce of girly pink on it."
"What if our daughter turns out to be a girly girl?"
"Won't happen." Sara shivered from the thought, "We have geek DNA, so it's genetically impossible for us to churn out a giggly, shrieking, cheerleader type."
"Ooh! Our room is pretty too, Cassie! Yessss!" Jenni squealed with delight as she dropped onto the luxurious comforter. "This hotel is the most beautiful place I've ever been! That lobby was incredible!"
"I know! And the pool was so cool!" Hopped up on sugar and excitement, Cassie jumped on the bed. "I've always wanted to do this in a hotel!"
"I think they like it, Cletus." Greg watched his sisters giggling as they held hands and jumped up and down. "They would have liked Howard Johnson's just as much."
Nick laughed at the attempt to make him feel better. "A view of the freeway off ramp versus a view of the entire California Adventure Park, yeah, it's a real toss up." Standing in the middle of the room with Greg, he told the girls, "When we get back home, you better give Jan and Dave a great big thank you for spoilin' us rotten."
"We will!" they promised in between riotous giggles.
"I think that's enough jumpin', Cass," Nick warned. "You ate an awful lot of junk food on the drive."
"And it's late." Greg tapped his watch. "It's almost one. If you want to be at the park when it opens, you better hit the hay."
Cassie laughed, "Don't be such a dad, Greg!" She threw a pillow at him. "It's vacation! We're supposed to stay up late."
"She thinks I sound like a dad," Greg proudly told his partner. "Cool!" He pointed at the girls and practiced his authoritative dad voice. "Lights out in fifteen minutes or you'll be too tired to have fun tomorrow."
"Yeah, right." Jenni nailed her brother's face with a pillow. "You just want us to fall asleep so you and Nick can fool around."
"No, no that's not it," Nick shyly replied while tossing back the pillow. "This is a family vacation, and there are no 'adults only' activities planned." He hurried for the door. "Night, ladies.
"You mean princesses," Greg corrected his blushing husband.
"Good night," they giggled, before Jenni yelled, "we'll turn up the TV so we don't hear you fooling around!"
"They're onto us, Cletus." Shutting the door, Greg hummed the theme to It's a Small World.
"Don't even." Nick dropped onto the suite's living room couch and grabbed the remote.
"Let's order overpriced room service on my mommy's dime to teach her a lesson about interfering."
"I'm up for that." Nick grabbed the menu from the coffee table while his mischievous partner resumed humming. "Stop it."
"Admit it, that song makes you randy now."
"I think I'll have a cheeseburger."
"That's a yes." Greg stole a kiss. "How far we've come since our first hotel room together in Long Beach, huh?"
"Yeah." Smiling, Nick tossed the menu. "Remember our first kiss?"
"It's etched in my brain forever."
"It was hot," Nick smiled as the memory played in his head.
"Indeed it was." Recalling the details, Greg closed his eyes. "Mmm."
"Sorry," Greg breathed out, before crashing his lips into Nick's and savoring the sweetness he had been dying to sample for years.
Shocked by the advance, Nick broke the kiss and shoved his aggressor away. "What the hell, Sanders?" Panting, he watched his buddy wipe his moist lips with the back of his hand. "I wasn't…" Lunging forward, he crushed his mouth against Greg's, kissing him with a ferocity that he'd never unleashed on a woman. "No," he growled when they finally came up for air. "This isn't…" But instead of finishing his protest, he smothered Greg's lips again, urging them open, and invading his eager partner's wet, hot mouth with a wild, grateful tongue and immediately setting a goal of exploring every inch. For a sin, it felt heavenly.
Pinned against the wall by Nick's muscular body while being devoured by his ravenous mouth, Greg loved the crazy swirl in his stomach. He loved being consumed. It was really happening, and it was surpassing every fantasy by a mile. "So good," he gasped when Nick's tongue momentarily retreated. One gulp of air and they were at it again. He knew there would be plenty of tender kisses later, but for now he let Nick attack his mouth with the savage intensity of a man who had stumbled upon water after wandering the desert parched for decades.
"Sorry," Nick breathed out when he finally relented. "I couldn't stop."
"Do you hear me complaining?" Greg sweetly replied as they panted in harmony.
"Remember our first shower?" Greg whispered during an Eskimo kiss.
"It'll always be one of the most erotic moments of my life." Nick could hear the water pinging against the shower curtain as he lost himself in the memory.
"Mine too." Greg let his mind transport him back to the Coast Hotel bathroom. "Mmm."
"You okay?" Greg saw a dozen emotions simmering in his buddy's eyes.
"No. Yes. Yes and no…mostly no," Nick trembled as he stood in the steamy shower longing for his buddy to be so much more than a friend. "Just a kiss."
Greg complied, bringing their mouths together while keeping their bodies apart. "Like that?"
Nick answered with a nod and parted lips. "Again."
Hot water pelting their overheated flesh, tenderness quickly escalated into wet, sloppy kisses as they pawed each other's hair and drove their bodies into a mutual frenzy.
Suddenly Nick's panic returned, "I don't want to..."
"There are lots of other things," Greg panted before their mouths locked again.
The devil on Nick's shoulder urged him to take hold of his willing partner, but the disgusted angel waving the King James Bible on the opposite shoulder kept him from following through on the desire. "I can't…and I don't want you to…"
"It's okay." Being the experienced one of the duo, Greg lovingly whispered in his vexed lover's ear, "We won't have to do anything; believe me, it'll just happen if you get a little closer." Remembering the exhilaration the first time he ever bumped up against another man, he was certain Nick would experience the same blinding loss of control. Weaving his fingers through his whimpering partner's hair he upped the intensity of their kisses while pressing their bodies together. "See what I mean?"
"Yes," Nick gulped and shut his eyes. It was like every locker room fantasy he had ever had, rolled up into one intense experience. Overwhelmed and overjoyed, he was quickly pushed to the edge. "G…" Fourteen glorious seconds after brushing his hips against another man's for the first time, with one hand gripping Greg's hair and the other clutching his arm hard enough to leave a mark, he experienced a level of ecstasy that no woman had ever been able to inspire.
"I wonder what the shower is like in our bedroom," Greg stated with a glint in his eye.
"Let's…"
"Greg! Nick!" Jenni came bolting out of the bedroom. "Cassie just puked up red vines, Doritos, powdered donut holes and YooHoo while jumping on the bed!"
When his health-conscious husband shot him a look, Greg said, "Okay, you were right, I shouldn't have bought all that crap at the gas station."
"That's why you're cleanin' up the puke," Nick announced on his way to the bedroom. "Cass…" He heard heaving in the direction of the bathroom and hurried to find her. "Sweetie, do you need help?" He knelt beside her.
"I think that's all of it," she whimpered while flushing the toilet.
"Let's get you a wet towel, honey."
"I guess jumping on the bed after eating all that junk food was a bad idea."
"Yeah." Smiling, he wiped her face, "But you were havin' fun until ya puked, right?"
"Uh huh."
"Good." He winked, "Just go easy on the junk tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay."
"You didn't get any in your hair, but do wanna take a shower anyway?"
Shaking her head, she said, "But my mom always gave me crackers and Sprite to settle my stomach after." Suddenly missing her mother, Cassie's eyes filled with tears. "Saying that made me think of her."
"C'mere." He held her while she cried. ""Hey, G," Nick called into the bedroom, "can you check the mini bar for crackers and Sprite?"
"You bet!"
"I got your jammies," Jenni sweetly told her sister from the doorway. "And Greg had me call housekeeping while he stripped the bed. They told us to put everything in the hallway and they're bringing up new bedding and some stuff to make the room smell better."
"Good." Nick wiped Cassie's damp face. "Change into your jammies, sweetie, and then come out to the living room for crackers and Sprite. We'll snuggle on the couch if you can't sleep, okay?"
"Okay."
"Hey guys…" Greg stood in the bathroom doorway next to Jenni. "No Sprite or crackers in the mini bar, so I'm gonna head downstairs to the hotel store."
"Thanks." As Greg walked away, Nick said, "Pick her up a new toothbrush too, that way she can toss her old one after she uses it to get rid of her vomit breath."
"A guy who smelled like puke just tried to pick me up when I was coming back from the bathroom." While Wendy and Mandy laughed, Jacqui motioned to the bartender for another round. "The really sad thing is, I was going for it, but when I reached into my purse to get him breathmints, he realized I was a girl and said no thanks."
"That's it," Mandy slurred, "we have to get Jacqui laid this weekend, Wendy. If it's the last thing I do, I'm gettin' my karmically cursed fellow sister a man."
Wendy sympathized but pointed out the obvious, "Where are we going to find a straight man in this place?"
Overhearing the conversation, the lesbian bartender told the trio, "Who needs a man when the resort gift shop sells strap-ons? Think outside the box, ladies."
Shaking with laughter, Wendy asked her best friend, "Should we do rock, paper, scissors to see who's going to strap it on and do Jacqui?"
Mandy was too busy falling off her chair to answer.
"Okay, okay, I'll take one for Team Female." The bartender winked at the hard up woman gaping at her. "I'm off when this place closes in fifteen minutes."
"Good, it's open 24 hours." Greg breezed into the hotel store and over to the middle aged cashier who was leaning against the counter reading a romance novel. "Hi." He scanned her name tag. "Hi, Brenda, I have a little girl with a bad tummy ache upstairs, could you point me in the direction of crackers and…"
"Greg?"
Surprised to hear a woman say his name, he turned around.
"Oh my gosh, it really is you." She tucked her hair behind her ears as her pulse notched. "I don't believe it." She gaped at him, her blue eyes wide as saucers. "What a small world."
"Lacey…" Over a decade had passed and she was still obsessively tucking her silky blonde hair behind her ears. "I..." He hadn't seen his ex-fiancé since she left Stanford to marry the guy she had cheated on him with, his ex-friend Brian Ruggiero. "It's been…"
"Eleven years," she answered, quickly doing the math for him. "Wow…you look great." She was surprised to see him with a nice tan, great biceps, and a trendy haircut.
The gift shop cashier, a diehard soap opera fan, was grateful for the entertainment.
"You too," he replied, still in shock. "Your hair's a little shorter, but you look the same…you look great. Um…what are you doing here?"
"I'm on vacation."
"I guess that was a dumb question, huh? We're at Disneyland, of course you're on vacation."
When she heard his old endearing nervous laugh she clutched her room key like a security blanket. "My parents are treating the kids and me to a stay here. We all flew out from Minnesota this morning. This place is great."
"Isn't it?" He anxiously cleared his throat. "So um…you and Brian had kids." He had stopped checking up on her once she was married. "Good for you."
"Yeah." She smiled, "Two beautiful girls, Madison and Chelsea. And what about you?" She pointed to his left hand. "I see you got married and I heard you talking about a little girl with a tummy ache when you came in here. How many kids do you and your wife have?"
"Uh." Standing in the middle of the Disneyland gift shop, he remembered he had never gotten around to telling his ex-fiancé, the woman he almost married, that he was bi-sexual. "Actually Nicky and I don't have any kids yet, we just got married." He was grateful his lover had an ambiguous name. "The little girl with the tummy ache is my sister. It's a really cool story actually – I'm a Crime Scene Investigator back in Vegas and my parents adopted two orphans that my partner and I rescued on the job." He knew she'd assume 'partner' meant co-worker. "Cassie just turned 12 and Jenni is 14. Nicky and I brought them here for their first trip to Disneyland and Cassie overindulged on junk food and hurled when we got to our hotel suite."
"Poor thing."
"Yeah, so as much as I'd love to catch up, I better get those crackers and get back upstairs." He anxiously laughed, "I'd say we should meet for coffee tomorrow and finish catching up, but I wouldn't want Brian to think I'm trying to steal you back."
"We got divorced last year," she admitted. "I caught him in bed with his secretary. I know, you're gonna say I deserved it, right? I mean I cheated on you when we were engaged, so…"
"Ooh!" the cashier blurted, revealing that she was eavesdropping. "Sorry, but you're standing five feet away." When they glared at her, she huffed, "Go to a corner if you don't want me to hear your dirty laundry. Geez." She was happy to see a new customer walking into the store, so she could make an escape. "Can I help you, Sir?"
"I'm with him, thanks." Nick called out, "G!"
Greg whirled around and into a full fledged panic.
"What's takin' you so long?"
Lacey assumed the good looking man was a friend of Greg's.
Anxiety paralyzing him, Greg couldn't reply.
"I tried to call ya, but you left your phone in our bedroom." Nick glanced around the store. "I wanted you to get Cassie somethin' to cuddle. Maybe a Pooh bear, or do ya think she'd like somethin' else better?" When he didn't get an answer, he turned around. "Are you okay, G?" Seeing how pale his partner was, he said, "You look like you're gonna hurl too." He pressed his palm to Greg's cheek. "You feel clammy, honey. Shoot, maybe it wasn't the junk food, maybe we all got food poisoning from your mom's sandwiches." While tenderly stroking his spouse's ghostly face, he noticed a pretty blonde woman rudely staring at them. "Can I help ya with somethin', ma'am?"
Greg wanted to intervene, but words wouldn't come.
When the woman continued to obnoxiously gape, Nick huffed, "Yeah, we're gay. You can move along now."
While Lacey's gasp echoed in the store, Greg felt his knees give out.
"G!" Nick rushed to catch his fainting partner. "What the hell is going on?"
The cashier raised her hand. "I think I know!"
***
Chapter 34: It's a Small World After All – Part 2"Is he okay?" Lacey asked when she saw Greg's lifeless body.
"He fainted for some reason," Nick remarked while lowering his partner onto the ground.
"Here." Lacey handed over her powder blue hoodie. "Put that under his head."
Brenda, the gift shop cashier, explained, "He passed out from the stress."
"What stress?" Nick asked, feeling ten steps behind.
"We'll catch you up in a minute, handsome." Twisting open a water bottle, Brenda said, "Let's wake him up first." She doused the guy's pale face with cold water. "That's how they do it on my soaps."
"G..." Nick reached out to soothe his disorientated spouse. "Don't worry, you're okay."
"Why is my face wet?" Dazed and confused, Greg figured he had been sweating while asleep. "Dude, I was having this crazy dream that Lacey…"
"Lacey?" Nick glanced over at the very concerned stranger who had handed over her hoodie.
"Yep, that's her," the cashier pointed at the petite blonde woman. "Your gay husband's ex-fiancée who cheated on him with Brian. She didn't know her old boyfriend had switched teams until you spilled the beans. From the way she was smiling at McFainty here, I think she was hoping for a romantic reunion. I don't blame her, because he's cute and she's a lonely divorcee and mother of two." Speaking from personal experience, she sighed, "Trust me, when you're tired of sleeping single in a double you can't help but wonder about what might have been. But her dreams were shattered when Greg said he was happily married to Nicky, which she assumed was spelled with two k's and a heart dotted 'i' until you walked in and got all 'yeah, honey, we're gay, big deal'. But it really was a big deal to the woman who almost married a gentleman who prefers boys. " She smiled at the gaping ex-sweethearts. "It was a stunning reveal, totally worthy of a Friday cliffhanger on my soap."
"Is she right about all that, G?" Nick asked, while studying his partner's reaction.
"Ooh!" Brenda rushed to fill in one more blank. "I forgot to mention that Lacey's divorced because she caught Brian in bed with another woman, which seems like a big slice of karmic payback considering she did the same thing to Greg."
"She's right." Shaking like a leaf, Lacey said, "Greg…all these years I've felt terrible about what I did to you, but to find out that I made you hate women enough to turn gay." She lifted a quivering hand to her mouth. "Oh my God!" Crying, she rushed out of the gift shop.
"Uh." Rising to his feet, Greg said, "I thought she was going to figure out I was with guys before I met her and blast me for not telling her. I didn't see the 'I made you gay' angle coming."
"Me either," Nick and the cashier harmoniously replied.
When both men shot her looks, Brenda decided to give them some privacy. "How about I get the crackers and Sprite you came for and let you talk? At this hour almost no one comes in here, so you should have some privacy."
"Thanks." Once they were alone, Nick asked with concern in his voice, "How do you feel about seein' Lacey?"
"I always thought I'd want to strangle her if I saw her again," Greg shrugged, "but it wasn't like that. Maybe if I wasn't thrilled with the way my life turned out, I'd feel differently."
"Really? 'Cause ya looked pretty emotional."
"Hell yeah, I was totally shocked to see her and before I could get my balance, you showed up and outted me. I never really thought about how I was marrying a woman without telling her I had been with guys."
"Yeah, okay," Nick joked, "but should I be worried about a soap opera worthy romantic reunion between you and cute little Lacey?"
"Hmm," Greg pretended to labor over the decision, "should I reunite with the lying bitch who stomped on my broken heart after shattering it in a million pieces or should I stick with a guy whose picture is in the dictionary next to the words loyalty, honesty and stud? Give me a minute."
"Take all the time you need," Nick joked, feeling confident that his partner would choose the right answer.
Greg replied with a smile. "I should send a gift basket to Lacey's room for dumping me and setting me on the path to meet you."
"Reminds me of a Rascal Flatts song."
"Bless the Broken Road!" Greg exclaimed, having heard it plenty of times.
"Very good, Fan Boy." Not concerned about his husband's Ex in the slightest, Nick returned to business. "Which stuffed animal should we get Cass?"
"If you buy her one then Jenni needs something too."
"Hey, how about those cute chipmunks over there? The bigger ones, 'cause I'm in the mood to spoil our girls."
"Me too." Greg turned around and tugged two from the display. "Definitely Chip for Jenni and Dale for Cassie."
"Why?"
"Because Dale is like Cassie, adventurous, free-spirited, while Chip is like Jenni, responsible and logical."
Never realizing there was a difference between the two cartoon chipmunks, Nick remarked, "I always thought they were exactly the same."
"No, besides the personality differences, Chip has a black nose, darker pelt, and one tooth, while Dale has a red nose, lighter fur, and gapped teeth. Starting with the Recue Rangers movie, they began to dress differently too. Dale in loud shirts and Chip in solids - reminds me of us."
"Yeah." Nick grinned at his partner, "I didn't know you were such a Disney expert."
"Oh, totally. Growing up we had an annual pass and came here all the time. I know everything there is to know about Disney and Disneyland."
"That knowledge will come in real handy when we're parents." After ten seconds of dreaming about their future as perfect daddies, Nick panicked, "I just remembered I told the girls I'd be right back. What if Cassie got sick again?"
"Way to go, Daddy-O." Chuckling, Greg walked to the counter with the two chipmunks in hand. " I'll pay, you go check on them."
"Checking in?" Quinn Drake, the 32 year old night shift desk clerk, ran his fingers through his dirty blonde hair and puffed out his chest to look his best for the arriving guests.
"Yes." Henry handed over his credit card. "We have a reservation under Andrews." Just like they had done at several forensics conventions, the thrifty men decided to save money by sharing a room.
"Have you stayed with us before?" Quinn asked while sizing up the shorter one's bottoming potential.
"No, it's our first time," Hodges answered while nervously glancing around the empty lobby. "We heard about this place from friends." In reality, Henry had found out where the girls were going when he accidentally snooped near Mandy's sort of open desk drawer.
"Well then, welcome to Caliente Springs, gentlemen." Quinn smiled at the couple, who was obviously on the down-low. "I will personally guarantee that your friends didn't steer you wrong. I'm certain you'll both be very happy here, because we have a wide range of amenities and activities – a little something for everyone." He opened a resort map. "If you're in the mood to be social at this late hour," he highlighted the secluded fire pit pool area. "This is definitely the place to be. Or if you prefer a walk on the wild side," he highlighted the resort's famous half mile hike under the stars, "this trail is always full of surprises after sundown."
"We're not here to be social," Henry anxiously whispered, "we'll be keeping a very low profile." He couldn't tell him they were there to spy on their women. "Let's just say, if certain people saw us here, there would be consequences."
"I totally understand." Quinn had dealt with many closeted couples over the years. "Discretion is our middle name, so believe me, you have nothing to worry about, Mr. Smith."
Hodges and Henry laughed at the clerk's joke.
"Many guests choose to spend the majority of their time behind closed doors." Quinn handed over two key cards. "Since you're first timers on a special getaway, I'm going to upgrade you to a deluxe suite that just became available due to a last minute cancellation."
"That's awfully nice of you." Henry returned the man's sunny smile and warm gaze. "I never get upgraded at hotels or on planes, so you have no idea how much I appreciate the gesture."
"You can always show me," Quinn laughed, "I'll be at cocktail hour in the Peacock lounge tomorrow." Trying to up his odds, he said, "Did I mention there will be a gift basket full of goodies in your upgraded suite? The couple who was supposed to stay there had pre-ordered it and it's non-refundable."
Always one to appreciate free stuff, Hodges cheered, "It's my lucky day!"
Her night getting worse by the second, Lacey tiptoed to the gift shop entrance and stealthily peered inside.
"Don't worry, the coast is clear!" Brenda yelled when she caught Lacey trying to be sneaky. "Mr. and Mr. Happily Married left five minutes ago."
"I came back for my hoodie." Frazzled by the confrontation, Lacey had had considered sparing herself the embarrassment, but she was chilly in the air-conditioned buildings and too broke to buy a new sweatshirt. Staring at the floor, she walked up to the cashier. "I left it when…"
"It's right here." Brenda placed it on the counter. "If you didn't remember, I was going to bring it up to lost and found at the end of my shift at 6am."
"Thank you." Mortified about what the woman had overheard earlier, Lacey quietly said, "I want you to know that I'm really not a terrible person, I just did one really terrible thing…I didn't know how terrible, until I found myself on the receiving end of betrayal last year. Ever since then, I've been beating myself up over breaking Greg's heart. I've almost called him a hundred times to say how much I regret the choices I made. I guess bumping into him here has to be fate's way of saying I should have followed my heart and made the call."
"You don't have to explain."
"I wanted to, because I could tell by the way you were looking at me that you thought I was a horrible person."
Shit! Afraid she would be reported to management for not making the woman's shopping experience magical, the paranoid Disney employee pushed out a princess-worthy smile and said, "Hey, everyone makes mistakes, Lacey." She silently praised herself for remembering to refer to the woman by name just like the nauseatingly giddy Disney customer service trainer had taught her during orientation. "It was eleven years ago in college, you were a kid. Don't be so hard on yourself." She hoped a hefty dose of compassion would compel the woman to remember her on a 'Magical Moments' customer service guest card.
"Easy for you to say." Lacey's eyes welled up again. "You're not the one who made a guy turn gay."
"You didn't make him gay, he's bisexual. I heard him say he fooled around with guys all the time and that you would have freaked if you had known."
"What?"
Doh!
"Greg was with guys before we broke up?"
"Uh…" Brenda pointed to a SALE sign. "Did I mention that our watches are buy one get one free?"
"I can't believe he was going to marry me without mentioning he liked men!" She wondered how many guys he had been with before and during their relationship. "I feel sick."
Still striving for high customer service marks, Brenda said, "Look on the bright side, now that you know you were both keeping secrets from each other, maybe you can confront him and rid yourself of the guilt you've been lugging around for 11 years."
Ready to do just that, Lacey anxiously asked, "Did Greg charge his purchases to his room?"
"Yes."
"What was his room number?"
"Sorry, I'm not allowed to tell you a guest's room number." When she saw her chances of a good customer service rating slipping away, she craftily said, "I can't tell you a guest's room number, but if you were to glance down at the counter and see it on the copy of the receipt that I hadn't put away yet, that would just be you being shifty."
While sneaking across the resort to rendezvous with Tami the lesbian bartender, Jacqui couldn't believe her eyes. No way! The sight of Hodges and Henry joyously rushing to get inside a deluxe suite at a gay resort made her jaw drop. When the straight cats are away, I guess the bisexual mice run off to play.
When the guys slipped behind closed doors, she released the breath she had been holding. Unbelievable! Recalling how Henry had been moping around and making Mandy feel bad about leaving him for a few days, Jacqui's blood boiled."What a two-faced liar! Just wait until I tell…" Remembering she had told her friends that she was too exhausted to watch a movie with them, Jacqui realized she couldn't rush back there and say 'guess who I just saw being duplicitous while I was sneaking out of my bedroom window!'
She knew what Grissom would say in a smug voice if he were there, Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive. "Now I'm not going to see any action either." Sighing, she took a seat on a nearby bench, she wondered what to do. I thought I had drunk enough to handle anything about to come my way…not. Thinking of her dear friend Mandy, who had just gottenover a miscarriage, she couldn't imagine telling her the guy she wanted to marry one day was in a hotel room getting his kicks with Hodges of all people. Jacqui gripped her head. "I think I'm gonna hurl."
"How's your tummy, sweetie?" Nick was stroking Cassie's hair as she lay on the couch with her head on his lap. "Do you want some more Sprite or crackers?"
"No, I feel much better." She followed up her answer with a lion-sized yawn. "But I'm really tired."
"Me too," Jenni said before breaking into an equally intense yawn..
"You should be." Sitting on the floor chomping an apple from the fruit basket his parents had ordered for their room, Greg reminded the girls, "You're usually in bed at this hour, not watching TV. You really should try to..." A knock on their hotel room door interrupted his attempt at responsible parenting. "Chow time! Cool, the room service is really fast in this place." He jumped to his feet and hustled to open the door. "Right this…"
"I can't believe you were going to marry me without ever mentioning you like to get naked with guys!" Lacey blasted her ex-fiancé, "Don't you think I had the right to know you were an active bisexualbefore you proposed? I believed you when you told me you were a virgin! I can't believe I kissed a guy who had a penis in his…"
"Lacey! Are you insane? You're shouting about private parts in a G-rated hotel and," Greg pointed toward the couch, "there are impressionable young ladies present! Sisters to be exact!"
"Oh! Oh my gosh!" When the normally responsible and conservative mother saw the wide-eyed girls staring at her, she felt horrible. "I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry, girls!" she contritely yelled into the suite. "I really think I'm losing it. Who am I kidding, I've been losing it for a year, tonight's just the final straw." Gripping her throbbing head, she said, "Seeing you after all this time had me reeling, but to find out you're," she whispered, "gay."
"Oh that word you whisper?" Greg rolled his eyes. "Unbelievable."
Cassie quietly asked the obvious questions, "Who is that crazy lady and what does bisexual mean?"
When Nick didn't reply, Jenni answered for him, "From the sound of things, I'm 99 sure the crazy lady is Greg's ex-fiancée, because Jan told me he used to be engaged to," she made air quotes, "a lying skank ho named Lacey who couldn't wait for sweet, innocent Greg to leave Stanford for his Papa Olaf's funeral so she could break her purity until marriage promise and jump into bed with a guy."
"Whoa." Cassie glared at the cheater. "That's so not cool. Poor Greg."
"Yeah." Jenni nodded. "And a bisexual is someone who enjoys getting physical with a boy or a girl."
"Oh." The twelve year old glanced up at Nick. "So I guess you're bisexual too then, not gay, because you went out on dates with girls before you were Greg's boyfriend, right?"
When Nick opted to cover his face instead of fielding the personal question, Jenni said, "No, Nick's totally gay, because he was dating girls while secretly wishing he could date boys instead. He couldn't admit he was gay, because he had been brainwashed by closed-minded rednecks to believe gay people are damned to burn in hell and he was terrified his evil father and brother would kill him if they found out he was lying about liking girls."
Surprised by the highly embarrassing, but accurate reply, Nick asked, "Who told you that?"
"Jan."
He sighed, "I should have known."
After waving Lacey inside and shutting the door, Greg walked over to the couch and quietly said, "Girls, can you give Nick and me a minute alone?"
"We need to go to bed anyway." Clutching her new stuffed chipmunk, Jenni stood and took Cassie's hand. "C'mon, sis, we'll talk more in the bedroom. Night."
"I'll be right in with a glass of Sprite for your bedside table, sweetie." Nick smiled at his pseudo-daughter. "Just give me a sec." When they were gone, he turned to Greg, "What's goin on? Why is she still here?"
Afraid Lacey would stalk him for the next three days, Greg whispered, "I think we need to clear the air, don't you?"
As much as he wanted to tell Lacey to hit the road, Nick reluctantly replied, "Yeah, yeah I do, because I don't want tension on our vacation and I hate to think her kids' trip will be ruined because their mom is an emotional wreck." His gut told him that Greg needed a serious amount of closure.
"See, this is why I love you, Cletus. You're the kind of guy who worries about kids you don't even know."
"I just figure divorce is hard on kids, so they've probably been through a lot and don't need their trip to Disneyland spoiled to boot."
"Yeah." Greg whispered, "It's too late to go for a walk and we can't talk in Lacey's suite because her parents and daughters are asleep, so I was thinking we could talk on the balcony if it's not too uncomfortable for you."
"People might have their balcony doors open, so if she's gonna be yellin' about penises, you don't want to be talkin' out there. Take her into the bedroom. I'll stay out here in the living room in case you or the girls need me…and to wait for room service." Nick shook his head. "Never thought I'd be tellin' ya to take your ex-fiancée to our bedroom."
"Me either." Greg leaned in and brushed his lips over Nick's. "I love you. I'll make this quick."
Seeing her ex-fiancé lovingly kiss a man made Lacey's jaw drop and her stomach churn.
"This way," Greg stated as he waved for his ex to follow him into the bedroom. "We can talk in here."
Staring at the sweet-faced teary-eyed woman who was wearing a powder-blue Cinderella hoodie and nervously tucking her hair behind her ears, it was hard for Nick to believe she was capable of the vicious betrayal he had heard about in great detail. "Try to stay calm, okay?"
When he heard Henry gasped a second time, Hodges stopped unpacking the booze they had brought from home, and ran into the bedroom to see what was wrong. "Don't tell me you saw a roach in here?" he snapped. "For the price we're paying to stay here…"
"Lube," Henry blurted as he lifted the bottle from the complimentary welcome basket. "Astroglide."
"Free Astroglide!" Snatching the tube, Hodges suavely said, "I'm taking it, because I think we both know my future with Wendy 'Sex Kitten' Simms is going to be more adventurous than yours with Mandy 'I Want a Family' Webster. What else did they put in the basket?" He couldn't see it because his friend was standing gaped-mouth in front of it. "Any edible panties or nipple cream in there?"
"No, no edible panties…no girl stuff of any kind." Always one to get squicked out at the mention of gay sex, he meekly said, "There's something called 'Boy Butter', ten condoms, and a PSA note warning us to 'say no to barebacking'."
"What?"
Henry stepped aside to let his friend see the basket full of male on male romance supplies sitting next to a stack of brochures on 'Gay Palm Springs'. "We're not in Kansas anymore." He plucked a strand of purple beads from the basket and held them up for his speechless coworker to see. "At some point tonight, we must have taken a left turn over the rainbow." He pointed to the resort stationary and the words 'Voted Best Gay Resort in Palm Springs'. "That desk clerk thinks we're here for a secret weekend of red hot man love."
Remembering they were really there because their women had snuck off to the place, Hodges stammered, "But…but…"
"Yeah, the butt," Henry gulped as he stared at the beads and studied how they grew progressively larger. "That's where they put them." While staring at the largest bead, he spoke in an incredulous tone, "I don't get the appeal of stuffing these up there…or stuffing anything up there." He cringed and tried to hose off his mind's eye. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-gay people. Nick and Greg are great, they're my friends, my good friends." For the first time, he confessed his unease, "I've always felt uncomfortable when people talk about gay sex, and then after suffering through my first prostate exam recently…" Hoping he wasn't the only guy who got squeamish when thinking about gay sex, he said, "It's just seems like a really bad idea to me. I mean, if I was stuck in prison or on a deserted island, then maybe after a decade or so, I could close my eyes and give to another guy out of desperation, but to volunteer to do it in the free world? I don't get it." Dropping the beads onto the counter, he said, "Isn't it hard to imagine Nick..."
"No," Hodges replied, glaring at his friend, "because I don't spend my time thinking about Nick…"
"Hey!" Worried that he had blurted out his honest feelings in front of Hodges, a notorious blackmailer, Henry threatened his coworker, "If you tell Stokes my thoughts on butt love, I'll tell Wendy I caught you whacking off in the Lab bathroom with her LVPD Newsletter picture taped to the stall wall!"
"Is there a higher form of flattery for a woman?"
"Eww."
"Can you stop worrying about what Nick and Greg do behind close doors and focus on what's really important…Wendy, Mandy and Jacqui all came here, to the #1 Gay and Lesbian resort in Palm Springs. What does that tell you, genius?" Titillated by the news, Hodges rubbed his hands together, "When they said they were going away for a girls weekend, I had no idea there would be naked touching involved. Do you think they'll let us watch?" He glanced up and thought about his statement. "Would it be rude to ask Jacqui to sit one out and just let Mandy and Wendy get it on without her?"
A little late in putting two and two together, the troubled boyfriend screamed, "Mandy's a lesbian? When was she going to tell me?"
"I can't believe you didn't tell me about the gay thing." Lacey sat down in the brown velvet armchair in the corner of the bedroom and heatedly asked, "Were you going to tell me before our wedding night? I can't believe you lied to me!"
"I never lied to you about anything," he replied, taking a seat on the edge of the bed across from his ex.
"Are you kidding me?"
"No."
"You told me you were a virgin who had never gone further than second base."
"And I was telling the truth." Sensing she was still skeptical, he added, "I swear on my Nana Olaf's grave."
Knowing he worshipped his grandmother, she had to believe him, "Fine, but you didn't tell me that some of those trips to second base were with guys."
"Because you only asked how far I had gone, not who I fooled around with. You never gave me the names or genders of the people you kissed before me."
"Give me a break. It was wrong for you to keep your abnormal behavior from me and you know it." Closing her eyes, she rubbed her temples and prayed her pulsating headache would go away.
"Just because something is abnormal to you, doesn't mean it's abnormal to me." Selecting one of his fonder college memories, Greg shared, "One time I was in my dorm room working on a huge project with this guy Steve from my Physics class. The project was due the next morning and after a few hours of hard work I realized we still had a ton to do. I threw down my pencil and said my head was going to explode from the pressure. The next thing I knew, Steve was massaging the crotch of my 501s and saying 'Don't worry, I know how to relieve the pressure building in your head'."
Lacey stopped rubbing her temples, opened her eyes.
Grinning at the memory, he finished the story, "I laughed and said 'I was going to suggest we walk and get some pizza, but I like your idea much better'. After getting an A on our project, we decided to be 'study buddies with hand job privileges' for the rest of the semester. Does that seem abnormal to you?"
"Yes," she robotically replied. "Very."
"See, to me it's a really fun and perfectly normal freshman year memory."
"I'm sorry, but you won't be changing my mind." While tucking her hair behind her ears, she fidgeted in her chair. "Homosexuality isn't normal, Greg. If it was, then more than 10 percent of the population would be gay."
"And you're absolutely entitled to that opinion." He flippantly remarked, "Just like I'm entitled to think that an engaged woman screwing another guy in her fiancé's bed while wearing a purity ring is very abnormal." His rate of speech quickened, "Not to mention tacky, nasty, and classless."
"You could have caught AIDS from your pal Steve and infected me without me suspecting a thing! If that's not nasty, then I don't know what is!"
"I can't believe you're playing the AIDS card! And even worse, playing it ignorantly!" His patience giving out, he screamed, "I was giving hand jobs to a geeky college buddy, not recklessly barebacking my way through hardcore gay bars every weekend!"
"Are you trying to tell me that geeks can't catch AIDS?"
"No, I'm saying I wasn't the one having risqué sex, you were! So if you were really afraid of catching something nasty, then you shouldn't have spread your legs for Ruggiero! That bastard saw more crabs in a year than a Red Lobster manager!" Pissed that she was shifting the focus away from her infidelity, he yelled, "Stop making up shit to try and make yourself look better! I wasn't cheating or breaking any promises when I fooled around with guys. You can't make the same claims, because you were screwing Ruggiero while we were together, not before you met me."
Anxious to bust him in a lie, she said, "Like I'm supposed to believe you're bisexual but didn't fool around with guys the whole time we were together. Give me a break! Or did you honestly think it wasn't cheating because they were men?"
"What?" He jumped to his feet. "I can't believe you have the nerve to come up here and pull that accusation out of your ass! What makes you think I was with guys when we were together?"
"The gift shop clerk told me you said you were fooling around with guys while we were engaged!"
Greg gaped at his ex. "You're putting me through the ringer because of something an eavesdropping shop clerk thought she heard me say? Well, nosy Brenda needs her hearing checked, because she missed the word before. I said I fooled around with guys before I met you." He shook his head. "I didn't touch anyone, male or female, after we got together, because I foolishly thought I was in a monogamous relationship."
"Do you swear on your Nana Olaf's grave that you weren't with guys when we were in a relationship?"
"Yes!" he answered without hesitation. "Just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean I crave men when I'm in a straight relationship. It doesn't work that way for me. Just like I'm not going to start sleeping with women because I married a man. All I need to feel satisfied is to be with someone who loves me."
"I know you wouldn't swear on your grandmother's grave if you were lying."
"Damn right I wouldn't," he barked while pacing the room.
Her hopes for an even score dashed, her self-loathing returned with a vengeance. "I really wanted the shop clerk to be right about you."
"I'm sure you did, because if I was scratching gay itches behind your back the whole time we were together, it wouldn't be a big deal that you slept with Brian."
"Exactly," she conceded, tears flooding her eyes.
"Sorry, but you're still the only cheater in the room." Stunned by her audacity, he couldn't stop glaring at her. "How could you even think I was putting on an act when I broke down the day I caught you?" Reliving the devastation, his voice grew choppy, "With all my heart, I believed you loved me. I believedyou were excited to wear my ring and that you really were counting the days until our wedding. I believed I was engaged to a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive young woman, and then I opened that door and saw you, my supposedly virginal fiancée, digging her nails into another man's back and realized I wasn't the luckiest guy on the planet, I was the biggest fool."
"Please…" she sobbed, "please believe me when I say I'm sorry."
"No."
"But I need you to believe me. I need…"
"You need? Awww! Poor Lacey needs something!" Her demands sparking his hostility, Greg shouted, "Well I needed a fiancée that didn't cheat on me! But life is full of disappointments! And you're crazy if you think I would give you anything when it's painfully obvious that you're still a lying, self-absorbed bitch who doesn't care about my feelings!" Looming over her, he raged, "Coming to my hotel room and calling me abnormal and a liar? Well fuck you, Lacey! You can take your lame, overdue apology and stick it up your cheating ass, because this normal, honest guy doesn't need it!" Catching his angry reflection in the mirror, he knew he had to calm down. "Dammit," he breathed out while sliding down the bedroom wall to sit on the floor. "I'm on vacation. I'm supposed to having a great time with my husband and sisters." Disappointed in himself for losing control, he dropped his head into his hands. "I can't believe you're still hurting me…that I'm still letting you."
"You're right, I am a bitch," she cried, "I'm a self-absorbed bitch who once again thought of her own needs before yours. I'm a desperate, pathetic woman who came to your hotel room hoping to make myself feel better, but seeing how hurt you still are after all this time, I don't deserve to feel better, I deserve every wretched moment of my miserable life. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and Brian was the worst mistake of my life. If I could go back and do it all over again I would." Sobbing into her palms, she said, "I truly am sorry I cheated on you, not only because you're so hurt, but because my life would be infinitely better if I had married you."
Since he was already unnerved, Greg decided to finally ask the questions that still haunted him, "Why couldn't you just tell me you didn't want me anymore? All you had to do was pick up the phone and call me at my parents' house. You just had to call me and say you wanted to break off our engagement. You didn't even have to tell me why, you just had to tell me." Reliving the ordeal, tears pooled in his eyes. "It was surreal watching Brian zip up while you put my engagement ring on my desk. I can still hear that bastard laughing while you giddily told me that you couldn't help yourself because unlike me, Brian was a hot-blooded hunk who begged you to make love to him and wouldn't take no for an answer. I couldn't believe it was really happening. How did you go from loving me to hating me when I wasn't even there to piss you off?"
"Because it had nothing to do with you, Greg." Even though her explanation was as pathetic as her behavior, she knew she owed it to him. "I was the nerdy ugly duckling in high school, the girl who hid behind a microscope. I still felt that way when I got to Stanford, even after we fell in love. Then your friend Becca took me under her wing. She gave me that great makeover, remember? She bought me designer clothes and taught me how to do my hair and walk in heels. She took me to aerobics classic and got me toned up and bought me a miracle bra, so I didn't look like a scrawny pre-pubescent girl. But I never felt sexy with you."
His biggest fear surfacing, he asked, "Are you saying I was a horrible boyfriend who didn't make you feel good?"
"No, you were wonderful, you made me feel safe and loved and beautiful." Wishing she could go back in time, she said, "It's totally cliché, but," she felt a little dumber every time she admitted the truth, "I got turned on by a self-absorbed bad boy who treated me like crap. For some reason, Brian made me feel sexy and desired; my entire body reacted when he looked at me…he made me feel like the only person in a crowded room. That kind of attention from the 'big man on campus' went to my ego and libido and suddenly it didn't matter what my heart and head were telling me." She sorrowfully stated, "The day I got back from your grandfather's funeral, he invited me over to watch a movie and before I knew what happened, my purity ring had become obsolete."
"And so had I," Greg replied in a hollow voice. "I had no idea it started the day you got back." Knowing she had been deceiving him the entire time he was home made him feel like an even bigger dope.
"I wish I had stayed with you at your parents' house." Staring at the floor she let her tears drip onto her jeans. "Because in the five weeks you were gone, I became a completely different girl. I drank, smoked pot, skipped classes...I even let Brian videotape us having sex in your bed. In 35 days I went from being a sweet, virginal, straight-A student to a screwed up slut."
"And all that time we were talking on the phone every day and you were pretending to care about me, so you can add deviant liar to your credits." It killed him to think he had been so clueless. "Wouldn't it have been a lot easier to dump me than covering your lies daily?"
"I couldn't bring myself to break up with you when you sounded so lonely and needy."
"How noble of you." He rolled his glassy eyes, "But you had no problem cheating on me daily."
"It was like I was under a spell. I honestly would have done anything to keep Brian." She cursed herself for the millionth time. "The spell was broken when you walked in on us. I got consumed by my guilt and Brian dumped me because he said I wasn't fun anymore. I lost my scholarship because I had failed all my classes, and my parents refused to me send money because they were disgusted with my behavior. Then I found out I was pregnant."
"Yeah, well," he turned away to wipe his tears, "sex with an irresponsible pig tends to do that to a girl."
"Yeah," she sniffled, "Brian was a jerk about the pregnancy, he only married me because his parents told him they'd cut him off. They were Catholic and supported my decision not to have an abortion. In hindsight, even if I had to struggle, I would have been much better off as a single mom raising Maddie on my own."
"Nah, you wouldn't have been alone," Greg stated in disgust, "I was such a doormat, I'm sure I would have married you and agreed to raise Brian's kid while you busied yourself having sex with the postman and the pizza delivery guy in our marital bed."
The harsh words made her wince, but she couldn't deny their validity. "You weren't a doormat, Greg, you were a nice guy."
Just as he was about to say 'and where did that get me', he saw the glint of his wedding band and remembered how good he had it now. "I'm glad I didn't marry you, because I'm thrilled with the way my life turned out." His anger faded as quickly as it came. "I fell in love with my best friend, the guy patiently sitting in the next room, and I couldn't be happier. We bought a house together, adopted a dog, and we're about to start a family."
She sniffled, "I could tell from the worry on his face in the gift shop that he really cares about you."
"Yeah, he really does." Grateful for the way things turned out, he contentedly said, "Nick's everything you said you would be but weren't."
"People get what they deserve," the depressed woman replied as her tears ran out. "It's only fair that you got happiness and I got misery." Hoping her suffering would bring him peace, she shared, "After I caught Brian cheating on me and realized he had been doing it all along, I told him I wouldn't put up with it. He said okay and skipped off to Mexico with a 22 year old cocktail waitress and the inheritance money we had in savings from when his parents died. He left a ton of debt and credit card bills. I lost the house and my car. The girls and I will never see a dime of child support. I knew my parents would say 'I told you so', but when I couldn't afford to feed my girls, I swallowed my pride and asked them if we could come to Minnesota to live with them. They said yes for the kids' sake. This trip is on them, because they feel sorry their granddaughters have a deadbeat dad and a loser for a mom."
"I'll be honest," Greg met his ex's remorseful gaze, "no matter how depressing your life is right now, I can't feel sorry for you. I do feel really bad for your daughters though. In my line of work I deal with kids paying the price for their parents' bullshit every day and it breaks my heart."
"I tried so hard to keep my girls sheltered from our problems, but it's obviously impossible now that their father walked out. Seeing them smile and have fun when they got to the hotel today meant the world to me." Holding her throbbing head, she whimpered, "I tell myself everything happens for a reason, so I can only hope it will all work out and they'll be okay in the end."
Finally at peace with the past he asked, "Ever hear the Rascal Flatts song Bless the Broken Road?"
"Yeah," Lacey wiped her face with the sleeves of her hoodie, "I love that song."
"Well, you're a huge part of the broken road that led me to Nick, and for that reason," he took a cleansing breath and a leap of faith, "I'm going to believe you regret what you did, stop hating you, and accept your apology." Feeling a weight lift from his shoulders, he crossed the room and grabbed a tissue box from his nightstand. "We were young. You were confused. You've been punished enough." He handed over a clump of tissues. "I forgive you, Lacey."
Tucking her hair behind her ears, she stared at him with bleary eyes, "Really? Or are you just saying that so I'll get out of your hotel room and leave you alone?"
"I really mean it." He returned to his spot on the edge of the bed. "When I was in church last week I heard the pastor say that forgiveness is good for the soul. Being a Scientist, I like to test theories," he smiled, "so far my soul's feeling pretty good…much lighter." If forgiveness worked with Lacey, he planned on going to Demetrius James's grave to work on forgiving him and himself.
"Jan lets you go to church now?"
He reflexively chuckled. "Do you think I'm that much of a Mama's Boy? I'm 33, Jan can't tell me what to do anymore."
"I just remembered how she wouldn't let you go with me and my family on Christmas." Afraid of tweaking him she shut up.
"Did my close relationship with my mother make me seem like less of a man to you?"
After blowing her nose, she replied, "I really don't want to get you upset again."
"That's a yes," he sighed. "Looking back, I can see how someone assertive and masculine would have been tempting to you when you were engaged to a sexually neutral geek with an overprotective mommy. I just wish you would have told me to man up and cut the apron strings."
"I bet we could have worked things out if I had." She fought the urge to reach out and clasp his hand. "Sometimes I think about us and wonder what our life would be like today. Would we be happily married? Would we be living in that cool placee you dreamed of, the one with the really bitchen loft?
Thinking about his dad's concern over him giving up 'the bitchen loft' dream, Greg smiled. "It's not really practical for a family, so I opted for something a little more traditional."
"Yeah, what about kids? You were so excited about having them – two, because you hated being an only child. When your grandfather got sick, you started talking more and more about being a dad and carrying on your family's traditions."
"I really talked a lot about having kids?" he said, trying to remember the conversations.
"All the time," she replied, surprised he didn't remember. "Any time I'm at the pet store and see Habitrail stuff I think of how you wanted to build a huge system in our future house. You'd say 'all the other kids will have boring retrievers, but our children will be the king and queen of the Sanders' Habitrail Kingdom'. You were going to cut holes between all the rooms and have the Habitrail tubes running through them."
"I do remember that!" He burst into a smile. "You said we should exclude the kitchen and dining room, because some people might get squeamish if they saw rodent poop where food is handled."
"Yeah," she chuckled with him. "I still think I'm right about that."
"I guess I blocked all those kid conversations after our future together died."
She sadly said, "If I hadn't messed everything up, we could be happily married and bringing our own kids to Disneyland this weekend."
"Maybe." Not interested in playing 'what if' when his present life was perfect and his future bright, Greg stood up and smiled. "But there's no point in trying to guess, so let's put the past behind us and get out of here, because I have room service and a cowboy waiting in the next room and I want both."
Hiding her feelings for him, she nodded, "I should get back too." She followed him toward the door. "If my parents wake up they'll think I skipped town instead of going to the gift shop for a book and some Tylenol PM."
"All is well, Cletus!" Greg announced when he stepped into the living room. "We made up, but we didn't kiss."
"Fantastic on both counts." Relieved to see his spouse smiling, Nick stood to greet him with open arms. "And the good news is, you don't have to give me a recap, 'cause I heard 95 of what was said loud and clear."
"Oh God, how embarrassing." Lacey lowered her head and made a beeline for the door. "Thanks again for your compassion, Greg. Nice meeting you, Nick. If I don't see you around the resort, I hope you have a wonderful vacation and a very happy life together."
"Thanks!" Greg joyfully replied to his ex as she slipped out of the suite.
"I couldn't believe she played the AIDS card," Nick huffed. "She was the slut havin' dirty sex, not you."
"I know!" His heart still racing from the confrontation, Greg walked over to grab a small bottle of tequila from the mini bar. "That really pissed me off."
"It was hard to hear you in that much pain. I almost walked in there to kick her out a half dozen times. I didn't know you were still hurtin' that bad, honey."
"Me either." Greg twisted open the little bottle and gulped half of it. "Sorry, I know we said we were cutting back on drinking."
"I'll let you off on the 'ex fiancée showed up and stressed me out' clause."
"Thanks." The tense ex polished off the bottle and slapped it on the counter. "I promise I'll stop at two." He dove into the fridge for a second one.
"So how do you feel now that you got to confront your ex and finally get all that stuff off your chest?" Nick wrapped his arms around his partner's waist. "Hmm?"
"I'm so happy that if I wasn't already at Disneyland, I'd be making reservations." Greg's smile filled the room. "I got answers to my questions and except for some screaming and name calling, I think I handled myself pretty well."
"I think you handled yourself real well under the circumstances. I'm proud of you, honey." Nick caressed a kiss over his lover's lips. "And I'm thrilled you got the closure you needed."
"Yeah, all this time I thought I deserved to be shit on, that I had been a bad boyfriend, or not enough of a man, but there wasn't anything wrong with me. She said I made her feel loved, safe, and beautiful." Greg excitedly told his partner, "She said I was a great boyfriend."
"And how many times did I tell ya that? Two? Three hundred?" Nick swayed their bodies as they exchanged loving smiles. "You're a great catch." He returned for a slower, deeper kiss. "Lacey's loss is definitely my gain."
"I want a Habitrail," Greg blurted as his partner tried to kiss him again. "And I won't take no for an answer."
"Huh?"
"I love Chico and I'm really glad we adopted him, but I never wanted a retriever, he was your family pet fantasy. I always wanted a Habitrail Kingdom, but when you said you didn't want hamsters in the house, I quietly gave up my rodent dream."
"Oh." Feeling like he had strong-armed his mate, Nick placed his palm over his heart, "I'm really sorry, honey, I didn't know rodents were that important to you. When you didn't push the issue I figured you didn't care."
"I know." Greg breathed deep and shared what he learned, "After talking to Lacey about what went wrong, I realized that not getting what you need can hurt a relationship in the long run, even if you initially give something up because you wanted to make the other person happy." Feeling confident about his future, he gripped his partner's shoulders. "Am I glowing? It feels like I'm glowing. All it took was Lacey reminding me that I always wanted two. I want two, Cletus! I totally remember how we used to talk about the future and what I wanted to do with them…the games I wanted to play, the fun things we'd do on the weekends. I can't believe I suppressed all of that until right now."
Desperate to keep his spouse happy, Nick pushed beyond his fear of beady eyes, long creepy tails, and hideous rodent feet. "We'll go to Petsmart as soon as we get home and get you those two rodents you've always dreamed about and next weekend we'll play games with 'em and whatever else you always wanted to do with 'em."
"Not two rodents, two kids." Greg burst out laughing. "I used to dream about having two kids. Me, the guy who has been waffling on wanting kids all this time. Lacey reminded me that I used to talk about being a dad and doing all the stuff that my Papa Olaf did with me and carrying on family traditions. I guess when I got hurt and lost faith in my ability to be a good boyfriend and husband, I blocked the desire to be a father in case I never got the chance." He raised his mini liquor bottle as his excitement soared, "I'm going to have the Habitrail Kingdom of my dreams, and one day…kids!"
"As long as I don't have to touch the creepy little bastards, I'm behind your dream 100 percent."
"You're referring to the hamsters, right? Not our kids."
"Ha! I love you." Nick snatched the kiss that he'd been denied earlier. "And I have to say, I think it's great that you're speakin' up and assertin' yourself…over a Habitrail, tough guy."
"Yeah, the 'rents will be happy to hear I put my foot down and demanded my husband give me hamsters." Laughing, Greg hugged his rodent-loathing spouse. "I really appreciate you manning up and agreeing to face your fear of palm-sized furry creatures."
"It could be worse. I could be married to Griss and really sufferin'."
"Because of the geriatric sex?"
"No," Nick shivered, "because he'd have me surrounded by ant farms."
"Isn't it bad luck to buy an ant farm for the baby before it's born?" Sara joked, when she saw her husband perusing them online. Standing in the doorway wearing one his big grey t-shirts, she sweetly said, "I think the rule is you have to wait until I'm at least eight months pregnant."
Staring at the computer screen reading the pros and cons of each model, Gil replied, "Who said it's for the baby? It's for me, so I can practice before the baby arrives."
"I would have thought you could raise ants in your sleep by now."
"I'm rusty. I haven't touched an ant farm since Catherine brought Lindsay to the lab for cake and a little party in the breakroom on her 5th birthday. I gave her the basic model."
"Lindsay doesn't strike me as an ant farm kind of girl."
"She wasn't." Gil chuckled, "Nicky and I had a blast with it though."
"I doubt Nick will be buying an ant farm for his kids."
"Why?"
Sara stared in disbelief, "I was thinking that little mishap in the coffin where he almost got eaten alive by ants, might make him hate them now."
"That's not very logical." Gil glanced up from the computer. "They didn't hate him, they were only being ants and doing what ants do."
"Suddenly I'm reminded of the time you asked an exterminator how he sleeps at night." Shaking her head, Sara leaned against the wall and took a bite of the apple she was holding.
"They wipe out entire populations and sleep like babies."
"Shocking." After another bite, Sara said, "I know it's hard to believe, but most people hate bugs to begin with and if they get stung, they fear them going forward. I don't think too many Psychologists would fault Nick for disliking ants after getting viciously bitten by thousands of them. I think only you and you fellow bug freaks would be able to forgive ant-kind after experiencing something like that."
"And yet mankind kills a billion ants a day and no one gets pissed off." He shook his head. "Talk about a double standard."
Sara teased, "You're adorable when you're in bug snob mode."
"Thank you, but I was hoping you'd say I was sexy." Gil reached for a yellow rose from the vase on the counter and walked to meet his wife. Bringing the beautiful blossom to her nose, he elegantly recited, "How doth the little busy bee improve each shining hour, and gather honey all the day from every opening flower." He brushed a kiss over his wife's lips and murmured, "Flowers need bees, the world needs flowers, and I need you."
Swooning from the unexpected romance, Sara waved her hand in front of her face, "Is it hot in here or is it the pregnancy hormones?"
"Am I sexy yet?"
"I think you overshot sexy, Romeo. You're a bonafide romance god." Unable to think of a poem, she offered her bitten apple. "Want a bite?"
"Tempting me with forbidden fruit?"
"Yes," she laughed, "because I'm pretty sure this big baggie t-shirt isn't doing much for you."
"That depends." As his hands drifted south, he nibbled her ear. "Is there anything under the t-shirt?"
"That's for you to find out." Grinning, she backed out of his arms. "I just remembered I have to do some online shopping. When I'm done, I'll freshen up and summon you to the bedroom to service me."
"I hope you're shopping for something I'll enjoy."
"Definitely." To further the intrigue, Sara gave a hint, "It's furry."
"It's a Syrian hamster," Greg informed his partner as they lay in bed on their stomachs in front of his laptop. "That's the kind I want. How can you possibly think that cute little pink-nosed fluff ball is scary?"
"I'm okay when they're standin' still lookin' cute, it's their erratic movement that freaks me out." Rolling onto his side, Nick decided to share an embarrassing rodent anecdote with his spouse. "This past Christmas, I was at my brother's house for dinner and..."
"Hey, how does Christmas work with such a big family? Where do you celebrate?"
"My parents host Christmas Eve at the ranch and all my siblings come with their spouses and kids. My mom makes a big formal dinner and we eat before goin' to church, then we come back to the ranch for dessert and read the Night Before Christmas in front of the fireplace."
"Sounds very Norman Rockwell."
"Totally." Blocking the negative aspects of his family for a moment, Nick said, "All the little girls wear pretty dresses and the little boys have on Christmas sweaters and ties. They're all hopped up on sugar cookies and pumped for Santa comin' in the morning. It's cute as hell."
"I bet." Greg rolled onto his back to listen to the rest of the details.
Propping up on an elbow, Nick continued, "On Christmas morning everyone stays at their own home to open presents. My folks and I drive from house to house tryin' to catch as many kids openin' their stuff as we can. They all wake up at different times and live close together, so it works out pretty well. Christmas Day either my brother or my sister Nancy hosts dinner for my parents and me and whoever else isn't haven't dinner with their in-laws. Those two have the biggest houses and the most money, so that's how they ended up takin' turns." Swirling his fingers over the design on the front of Greg's t-shirt, he softened his voice, "The day after Christmas we all get together at the ranch again for brunch and to exchange family gifts. Because money is tight for some, us kids draw names so we only have to buy for one sibling, and then the cousins do the same, but there's still so many of us it takes forever to open everything. Outside of the sibling lottery, Nancy and Gwen always leave gifts for me for Christmas morning, so I have somethin' to open when my parents are givin' each other theirs. This year though…" He smiled at his spouse, "I won't need pity gifts from sisters, 'cause I'll have a husband puttin' gifts under the tree for me just like they do."
"I'll get you a few gifts. Unless you've been naughty," Greg laughed, "then I'll get you lots. Do your parents hang mistletoe in the entryway like mine do?"
"Usually, but they probably won't take a chance this year with queers around." Nick stole a kiss in case he missed an opportunity in December. "But hey, my dad said we could stay at the ranch whenever we're in Dallas and I never thought that would happen, so maybe there will be mistletoe."
"I can't wait to see where you grew up." Loving the tenderness they were sharing, Greg snuggled closer. "I'm so…" Interrupted by YOU'VE GOT MAIL blaring from his laptop, the moment was ruined.
"It's from Sara." Nick was surprised to see her email address on the screen. "She's alive."
"You had doubts?"
"If anyone is capable of makin' someone disappear without a trace, it would be Griss."
"True." Greg clicked open the email and read it out loud. "A little buggie told me you're on vacation in Disneyland. Could you do me a huge favor and buy a coonskin cap in Frontierland? I want to surprise Grissom with it for personal reasons – no, not sexual reasons, perv. Thanks, and I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls, tell Nick I said that goes for him too. I'm okay, really, thanks for caring. I'm just not ready to walk through the doors yet. Maybe lunch next week? Sara."
"That's good news." Nick was relieved to know his friend was on the mend.
"Yeah, if she's up to Davey Crockett role play with Griss then she can't be too depressed."
Spiraling a little further into despair with each passing minute, Lacey padded over to the mini bar, hoping to numb herself with a cocktail. "Dammit!" she blurted when two glass tumblers fell to the floor and shattered against each other. "I can't even make a drink without messing up."
The jagged shards scattered on the floor reminding her of her broken life, she muttered, "How symbolic," as she crouched down to pick up the pieces. "God, my mother is right, I'm nothing but trouble. I should have let them take the girls without me."
Tears filled her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time that week.
"If I stayed home, then I wouldn't have bumped into Greg." For a split second in the gift shop, she actually thought they had a shot at a second chance. He looked so good. And he's still so sweet. A happy reunion would have ended her present misery, "Why did he have to be married?" She was in too much pain to realize she was squeezing a long shard of glass. "It would have been perfect." Then in the bedroom when they were talking, she thought she saw a flicker of love in his eyes. When we were talking about our old dreams, about wanting kids, a house and a Habitrail. "Maybe there's still…"
When she finally noticed blood was seeping from her hand, she gasped and opened her clenched palm. "Oh my God."
The cut was deep, extending past her hand into her wrist. It would definitely require stitches, maybe a dozen or more. "I can't believe I…" Watching the blood streaming from her hand she opened her mouth to call for help, but the word stuck in her throat. Could anyone really help her? Even if they fixed her hand at the hospital, she'd still be broken.
Staring at the blood pooling on the carpet, she knew her mother would drone on about carelessness and more bad choices. Why were you drinking alcohol at this hour anyway? She could already hear her father saying his favorite phrase 'Brian must have really screwed your brains out that day, Lacey Jean, because you've been stupid ever since'. She dreaded the lectures. She dreaded hearing the truth yet again.
Staring at a watercolor painting of Cinderella's castle hanging on the wall, she whispered, "I had my chance." Feeling woozy, she clamped her eyes shut. "I don't deserve a happy ending."
***
Chapter 35: Yo Ho, Yo Ho…When The Mickey Mouse Club song blared in his ear, Nick reflexively reached for the alarm clock on his nightstand. "Mmm," he groaned, his eyes still clamped shut. "That's you singin', isn't it, G?" He opened his right eye to confirm his suspicions.
"Rise and shine, Cletus!" Proudly sporting a shiny new pair of Minnie Mouse ears, Greg straddled his groggy spouse's hips. "The California Adventure Park rope drop is at 10 a.m., that's one hour from now." They had planned on touring that park all day Saturday, The Magic Kingdom all day Sunday, and then they would do their favorite things one more time on Monday.
"Are those Minnie Mouse ears on your head?" Nick asked before yawning a third time.
"Yeah, I bought them last night when I paid for the girls' chipmunks. And I bought these for you." The goofball produced a pair of Mickey ears. "Up for a little mouseplay?" He wiggled his eyebrows.
"Now I know why you got me up an hour before rope drop instead of lettin' me sleep an extra 30 minutes." Nick shook his head. "I'm not wearin' ears and did you forget that we said no foolin' around when we're responsible for the girls?"
"I decided that decision was unrealistic and unnecessary, because parents don't stop fooling around when they have kids and we need to practice sneaking action without our kids knowing."
"You woke up with wood, huh?"
"Yeah." Laughing, Greg crashed onto the covers next to his partner. "I had another naughty Disney dream. This time we were on The Pirates of the Caribbean ride. You were dressed as Jack Sparrow and plundering my booty while you drank grog and sang 'Yo Ho, Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me'."
Cracking the first of what he knew would be many smiles that day, Nick said, "I like that a whole lot better than the creepy Small World dolls watchin' us get it on."
"I figured you would." Greg snickered, "I said wood."
Gliding his hand over the tented front of his partner's blue plaid pajama bottoms, Nick playfully remarked, "Who knew Minnie Mouse was a trannie?"
"There are many secrets in the wonderful world of Disney."
"Are you guys awake?" Jenni's voice boomed through the bedroom door.
Nick bolted up in bed. "Just woke up!"
"Rope drop in one hour!" Cassie yelled. "So finish fooling around and hit the shower!" She laughed, "Jan called and told us to bang on the door and say that."
"Of course she did," Nick grumbled. "We'll be out in thirty minutes, girls! Call room service and order two Denver omelet platters and you can have anything you want, and I do mean anything!" Turning to his partner, he mumbled, "It's fun spending your meddling mommy's money."
"I've always thought so." Tossing his pajama bottoms, Greg said, "So I can have anything I want, huh?"
"I was talkin' to the girls when I said that." Nick followed his perpetually randy spouse into the shower. "But lucky for you, I'm in a generous mood."
"I can't believe you made this huge breakfast for me." Standing in the kitchen doorway, Bobby surveyed the table. "Eggs, potatoes, sausage and biscuits…wow. So this is why you wanted to know exactly when I'd be home from shift?"
"Yeah," the proud boyfriend replied with a wink. "I wanted to do somethin' special to say thanks for the key and the invitation. I decided to take you up on the offer, so I put my stuff in the bedroom while you were at work."
The slice of sorely missed domesticity had been enough of a treat, but to hear his boyfriend say he moved in made his heart soar. "Really?" It was too good to believe without confirmation.
"Really."
"Does this mean…"
"Let me put it this way, Stokes men make cheddar omelets for lovers the morning after, but we only make grandma's special biscuits for significant others." Grinning, the younger man added, "It means I'm all yours, every piece of me…only yours."
Finding himself speechless, Bobby replied with a glorious kiss that screamed 'thank you for making my dreams come true'.
"I was skeptical when they said it was the year of a million dreams here at Disneyland." Turning off the shower, Greg snickered, "But I'm a believer now."
Still feeling dirty in spite of showering, Nick covered his face. "I can't believe I just did that with the girls in the next room. Honestly, I can't believe I did that period."
"You seemed really into it."
"I was at the time, but not now that I'm remembering the girls are in the next room and I'm gonna have to go out there and eat breakfast with 'em." Leaning against the wet tile, he sheepishly confessed, "It's stupid, but I feel weird about it."
"Because you grew up believing your parents only had quiet sex seven times."
"Until puberty I believed the stork dropped me off, and after that I figured they only did it when they went away for the weekend twice a year."
"After meeting your folks, you may be right." Greg laughed, "But rest assured, plenty of parents frolic in the shower when their kids are home and then eat breakfast with them thirty minutes later. My friend Becca once told me that life gets really busy once you have kids, so lovin' on the fly becomes a survival tactic." After throwing a towel at his spouse, Greg wrapped one around his waist and walked over to the sink to shave. "As long as we don't get loud like my parents, we're fine. It's listening to the parental freak show that traumatizes kids for life."
"Maybe that explains why you come up with these freaky requests."
"Oh come on, it wasn't that freaky."
"Not by Vegas standards, but we're in Disneyland."
Greg rolled his eyes. "Shake it off, cowboy. You're not going to burn in hell for…"
"Don't say it." Nick laughed at himself. "Don't." Changing the subject, he asked, "Why are you shavin'? We're on vacation. Who shaves on vacation?"
Staring at his partner, the shocked compulsive-shaver said, "We're not camping in the backwoods or partying at the Red Neck Yacht Club, Cletus, we're at Disneyland."
"Oh now you have Disney standards."
"You shaved when we vacationed on the Freyja."
"Only 'cause I was tryin' to get in your pants," Nick chuckled while reluctantly retrieving his electric razor from his duffle bag. "This is what I get for marryin' a city boy."
"I'm married to a work-a-holic." Sara tossed the cordless phone and checked her watch. "He's already been at the lab fourteen hours, Bruno." Knowing her husband's team had been down one CSI since she left, Sara told the dog, "If Ecklie would have let him fill my position instead of giving Days an extra person, this wouldn't be happening."
Determining that his owner wasn't talking about a treat or a walk, the boxer dropped his head onto a couch pillow and shut his eyes.
"You're tuning me out," she remarked, quite miffed. "Are you blaming me for him not being here?" Realizing she had not only become accustomed to conversing out loud with an animal, but arguing with one, Sara knew it was time to leave the house. "I'm going to the lab." She rose to her feet. "I'm going to tell Ecklie exactly what I think about his little plan to overwork my husband by not approving any new hires for nightshift. As an extra perk, he's probably hoping it ruins our marriage." She hurried to the bedroom to change her clothes. "If he thought I was a bitch before, just wait until he deals with me pregnant and hormonal."
"Do you think losing the baby made Mandy turn lesbian?" Sitting on the couch surrounded by empty mini liquor bottles and room service dishes, Henry slurred to his co-worker, "Have you ever heard of that happening?"
With one eye on his laptop and the other on an 'I Love Lucy' rerun, the sober scientist quipped, "Yes, there was just a huge article about it in last month's New England Journal of Medicine." But when he heard Henry cry, the usually cold-hearted man turned his full attention to his friend. "Sorry, I shouldn't have joked about that."
Bringing a tiny Cuervo bottle to his mouth, Henry lamented, "I've lost the love of my life to lesbians."
"Maybe it's just a curiosity thing," Hodges countered, trying to be a good friend. "Maybe losing the baby threw her into some kind of life crisis and she realized she didn't get to have a gay fling in college like everyone else, so she came here to do a little exploring and check something off her 'To Do Before I Die' list."
"I didn't have a gay fling in college, and it's not on my list."
"Duh." Hodges rolled his eyes. "You're a straight guy, like me, so your default taboo fantasy is to be with two women."
"Have you been with two women?" Henry asked, because he was too drunk to realize the absurdity of the question.
"Yeah, I crossed that one off in 1999."
Having a slightly lucid moment, the analytical Toxicologist probed, "Were the two women made of plastic and filled with air?"
"Do you know you have ketchup on your white shirt?" Hodges redirected, preying on the fastidious man's compulsion with clean apparel.
"My mother bought me this shirt." Henry shook his head at the unsightly stain. "Bummer. I love this shirt…and my mom…she's the only woman who hasn't hurt me."
"Give me the shirt, Oedipus." Hodges held out his hand. "I'll bring it to the front desk for emergency dry cleaning."
"It's 9:45 in the morning." Henry struggled to stand and remove his shirt. "What if someone sees you walking around the resort and thinks you're gay?"
"When a guy is as confident with his sexuality as I am, you don't care if other people think you're gay." Hodges puffed out his chest. "Besides, my gaydar factor is zero. I ooze 'I love boobs'. Everyone knows it's guys like you, who are always worried about being around gay men and being perceived as queer, that are masking latent homosexual urges and would fall into bed with a man if they ever got plastered enough to overcome their deep seeded inhibitions." With the shirt in hand, he strolled for the door. "After I drop off your shirt, I'm going to drive to McDonald's for some Egg McMuffins. This place is way too expensive for my taste."
"I can't believe that breakfast cost a hundred bucks." Stepping out of the elevator with Greg and the girls, Nick said, "When I was a kid, that was probably our family's daily food allowance on vacation and there were nine of us."
"Jan and Dave had more of a 'sky's the limit' vacation policy."
Cassie smiled at her hero. "Don't worry, my family was like yours, we went camping, cooked our own food, and my dad never shaved when we went on vacation."
Terrified that the child had heard everything that went on in the bathroom, Nick warily asked, "Did you hear Greg and me talkin' about shavin', honey?"
"No, you told me about your family vacations when we were at the lake, remember? You said your dad never shaved on vacation, because he always had to look perfect and wear stuffy suits while on the job."
"Yeah, yeah." Nick's smile returned. "I remember now." When he saw his spouse silently mocking him for being paranoid, he gave him a playful shove.
"Greg Sanders!" Margaret Jorgensen rushed across the lobby to warmly greet her daughter's ex-fiancé. "Lacey told us you were here."
"Hey! It's great to see you again," Greg enthusiastically replied, happy to see the woman who had treated him like the son she never had. "How are you?" He hugged her tight.
She replied in Norwegian for old time's sake, and reminded the boy that she had always loved his visits, because she could speak in her native-tongue.
As her brother and the lady conversed in the foreign language, Jenni whispered to Nick and Cassie, "Jan curses in Norwegian, I can tell by the way she says the words, but I don't know the translations. But at least I can tell you if this woman starts cursing at Greg like the last one did."
"I don't think she's gonna." Nick's confidence came from hearing Lacey say how her parents thought she was an idiot for dumping Greg. Then again, she could flip out upon hearing he was gay.
"My woman is a lesbian and I might be gay!" Henry drunkenly announced to the handful of men worshipping the sun at the resort's main pool. Shirtless and staggering, he asked, "Which one of you guys wants to help me find out if I'm gay?
One glance at the pale, sunken-chested dork resulted in a chorus of 'no thanks' from the twenty-something bronzed gods.
Faced with rejection yet again, Henry clutched his head and dropped onto an empty lounge chair. "I'm not girl-worthy or gay-worthy. My mother was right, no one will ever love me like she does."
"I don't think you're gay," Matt Hawkins told the obviously drunk and depressed guy. "Do you think he's gay?" he asked his boyfriend, trying not to laugh.
"Definitely not," Dante replied after lowering his sunglasses to take a good look. "And I'd know, because I was a repressed gay in Utah for most of my life. I've only been out since 2005, so I'd be able to tell. So would my friend, here." He pointed to the guy next to him. "He was my mission buddy and even more repressed than me. What do you think, Ellis?"
Feeling bad for the poor sap, Dan Ellis stifled his laughter and said, "I'd guess effeminate Mama's Boy, not gay."
"I had convinced myself you were just a Mama's Boy, Greg," Gary Jorgensen told his daughter's ex-fiancé as they walked to the California Adventure park entrance. Lacey had caught him up to speed when they were sitting in the ER the previous night. "But I always had my suspicions that you could swing both ways." His silver hair flapping in the June breeze, he shook his head. "I certainly don't blame you for permanently switching teams after what my daughter did to you."
"How did Lacey cut herself?" Greg anxiously queried while watching his ex-fiancée's kids skipping to the front gate with his sisters and Nick.
"Being reckless as usual," the perpetually disappointed father huffed. Because of his daughter's stupidity, he had to take the grandkids to the park alone while Lacey slept and his wife fretted about her. "She dropped a glass and was distracted by the TV when she bent down to pick up the broken pieces. She's lucky I came out to get a water bottle from the fridge, because she passed out from the sight of her own blood. She ever do that around you?"
"Yeah," Greg answered, recalling the moment. "It's what brought us together. She cut herself in Chem Lab and I caught her as she fainted."
"You were always there for her, son." The troubled father sighed, "Unlike that bastard Ruggiero, you would have made an excellent husband and father."
"You really think so?"
"Absolutely, Margaret too, that poor woman cried every day for a year when Lacey broke off the engagement. She had already named her Norwegian grandchildren."
"Sir," Nick waved to get Mr. Jorgensen's attention. "Your little one here says she's tired of walking, I could put her on my shoulders until you get to the stroller rental if you'd like."
"Yes, please. My knees and back thank you!" The 66 year old arthritis sufferer smiled at the polite Texan.
"Up you go, Chelsea." Nick perched the petite five year old on his shoulders. "Better?"
Happy to have a view, the brunette pixie nodded. "I can see everything!"
"That's a very gentlemanly cowboy you got there, Greg, and better looking than either of those Brokeback Mountain boys."
Greg laughed, "Mrs. J still drags you to the movies, huh?"
"I bawled my eyes out at The Notebook, what about you?" The senior citizen joked, "Of course you did, you're gay."
"I can't handle the crying," Matt told Dante. "That guy's a hot mess. He's like prime to jump off a cliff or drown himself in a pool."
"Of his own tears," Todd Stanton, the ringleader of the group of Vegas boys at play for the weekend, burst out laughing. "I say we deliver him to Doug's door with a sign taped to his pasty chest that says 'Kiss me, I'm sexually confused'. Doug never refuses a stray. He'll set him straight by giving him a biiiig helping of gay."
"Guys, we can't be that cruel," said Dan, the voice of reason and maturity for the group. "That geek doesn't need a walk on the wild side, he needs a makeover and a spray tan."
"Who needs sunscreen?" Greg asked waving the can of Coppertone Sport he had purchased after Mr. Jorgensen said he forgot to have his wife coat the girls. "Anyone with Scandinavian DNA, that's who." He pointed at Chelsea. "That means you, Tinkerbell."
"That's not what my mommy uses." The girl shook her head. "No way. I want the pink tube."
"Are you sure? Because this stuff is great, I use it all the time when I'm outside working." Kneeling down, he sprayed his forearm. "See it's fun, just like spray paint. You try it."
Watching the paternal moment made Nick's biological clock thump. "Chelsea, honey, you should," Greg's scream interrupted his sentence, "lower the can or you'll squirt him in the eyes."
"Tinkerbell maced my left eyeball!" Greg frantically waved his outstretched hand. "Water bottle, stat!"
"Here!" Jenni handed over hers. "Good emergency eye wash technique," she joked while watching her brother rinse, "but I'd expect nothing less from a fellow science geek."
Nick offered his spouse a parenting tip, "Never give a munchkin a spray can of anything. It never turns out well, especially if it's a can of Cheez-Whiz." He shivered at the memory. "I was babysittin' Roy when he was five and he used it to wash his dog and then he let the mutt run through the entire house."
The story not adding up to logical Jenni, she asked, "How did he do all that if you were babysitting him properly?"
"Oh, um…" Since he couldn't give the real answer, 'I was in bathroom getting it on with Claire Winslow', Nick announced, "The park is open", hoping to divert attention.
"I wanna go to Bug Land!" Chelsea shouted, jumping up and down. "Mommy said that was first!"
"Uh…" Knowing his spouse's hatred of creepy crawlies, Greg said to Mr. Jorgensen, "If you're okay now that you have the stroller, we're gonna take Jenni and Cassie to Soarin' Over California."
"Yes, yes, we'll be fine now." Gary smiled at the man he wished was his son-in-law. "It was nice seeing you again and meeting your family. Go have fun."
"Where are we going?" Henry asked the gay stranger as they approached the resort's salon and spa.
"Ever watch Queer Eye?" Dante asked the jittery nerd.
"Um," Henry gulped, "no. I rarely watch porn actually. Okay never."
"It's a makeover show, Hank."
"It's Henry."
"Not anymore. Hank is your new Ladies Man name." Dante opened the salon door. "Anyone up for a style challenge?"
"I love what you've done with the place," Sara commented from her husband's office door. There had to be twice as many files and piles of paper as the day she left the lab.
"Sara?" Gil lowered his glasses to make sure. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to bitch at Ecklie for not letting you fill my spot."
"Oh." He gulped, knowing he was toast. "This is about your resignation paperwork…"
"Yeah, about that." She shut the door and walked to the guest chairs shaking her head. "Care to tell me how my resignation paperwork morphed into Leave of Absence paperwork, Sherlock?"
"I bet Nick did it." Gil feigned innocence. "Or Greg. Maybe Catherine."
"Catherine?"
"I should have stopped at Greg."
"You should have turned in my resignation paperwork."
"I…I um…" He nervously ran his hand over his mouth, "I guess I was hoping…"
"Hoping what, Gilbert? That I'd walk in here and do this?" With her eyes honed on her husband, Sara reached into her pocket for her ID badge and clipped it on her pants pocket.
"Yes, that's exactly what I've been dreaming about since the day you left." Rising to his feet, the ecstatic husband and supervisor extended his hand. "Welcome back, CSI Sidle. The lab has missed you."
"The lab missed me?"
"Yes, very much." With a boyish grin, he allowed himself to have a personal moment on the job. "I've missed you too." Watching her grab a stack of files, his heart soared.
"You were right, Greg! Soarin' was awesome!" Cassie darted towards the exit. "Can we do it again?"
"The line will be a lot longer now."
"Not now, I want to get fastpasses for later."
"Congratulations!" a perky Disney employee called out to the exiting riders. "You're all about to receive Year of a Million Dreams Fastpasses, which will allow you one Fastpass entry for every Fastpass ride in both parks!"
When a big blue plastic pass was slapped in his hand, Greg said, "Cassie, next time wish out loud for a million bucks and see if you get that one granted."
"Why would I need a million dollars now that your parents adopted me? They give me anything I need."
"And that answer is one of many reasons why I love this kid." Nick tossed his arm around her shoulders as they walked.
The comment making her morning, Cassie said, "Thanks, Daddy-O," and took his hand.
Hearing the term of endearment tugged at Nick's heartstrings and in that moment he knew vacationing with Cassie was going to make him feel closer to her than ever. It had been difficult to spend an afternoon with her and then hand her back to Jan and Dave, so how hard would it be to walk away after four days together? And if it was that difficult with Cassie, how hard would it be to say goodbye to his biological child and return home empty handed?
"Are you going to answer?" Cassie tugged on her hero's arm. "Your cell phone is ringing."
Lost in thought, Nick stared blankly at the girl. "Huh?"
"Your cell phone's ringing."
"Oh." Still in a funk, he mindlessly answered, "Stokes."
"Nicky, honey, we have to talk." Nancy Stokes took a seat at her mahogany desk and commenced her opening argument with a prediction, "After readin' through everything you sent I believe if you go through with this baby sharing arrangement you'll regret it for the rest of your life and the suffering you'll endure while apart from your child will make your time in that coffin seem like a relaxing vacation. Everything about you screams 'hands-on daddy' not 'part-time father'. Think how bad you felt never gettin' to spend time with your own Daddy. That's what your child's gonna feel. Do you want your child to grow up thinkin' his or her daddy is too busy to be there all the time? I don't think so. If you ignore my opinion and choose to go through with this insanity, you'll have to find yourself another attorney, because it will be impossible for me to sit back and watch you ruin your life. I love ya too much, Nicky."
"I love you too, sis." Sitting on a bench watching Disneyland patrons hustle by on the way to their next ride, Nick said, "It's weird, I was kinda thinkin' the same thing when you called."
"That's music to my ears."
Smiling at Cassie, who was waiting in line for a churro, Nick said, "Bein' on vacation with Cass is remindin' me how hard it is to only see someone you love when their legal guardian agrees."
"Exactly. Imagine how it would feel to call up those women and hear 'sorry, today's not a good day for a visit, the baby is sick'. Wouldn't you want to be there makin' sure your sick baby was gettin' TLC and the right medicines?"
Sinking lower on the bench, he shook his head. "I never even thought of that scenario."
"That's why you have sisters, honey. I've been lookin' out for you since the day you were born and I don't plan on stoppin'."
"Stop! Please!" Tears streaming down his face, Henry pleaded with Helga, the burly waxer from hell, "I've had enough. I want to pay and go."
"I've only done the left side," she informed him in a thick German accent, "who leaves with half a crack and sac wax?"
"Me." Feeling completely sober, the wimpy Toxicologist slid off the spa table and gingerly trotted to the locker room.
"How was it?" Dante excitedly asked his makeover client. "Great huh? You know what they say - once you wax, you can never go back."
"Yeah." Henry was positive he was never going back for more torture. "Well thanks for your help. Bye."
"You're only wearing a towel."
"Right." His left sac throbbing, Henry glanced around for his clothes. "Where are my…"
"We tossed them. Todd should be back with your new outfit any minute."
"You threw away the shirt my mother bought me?"
"About that…" Dante dropped a hand on the peewee's shoulder. "No one needs a mom to dress them when there are available queers."
"Greg do you like this t-shirt better or the red one?" Jenni held up the blue to get her big brother's opinion.
"Definitely the blue, it compliments your eyes." So Nick could have some privacy talking to his sister, Greg suggested the girls check out some of the shops. "Don't let me forget that I have to buy a coonskin cap in Frontierland when we get there."
"Are you going to be Davy Crockett for Halloween?" Jenni laughed as she walked toward the back of the shop. "I can't picture it!"
"Me either." Greg continued flipping through a rack of t-shirts, looking for something he'd actually wear. "My friend Sara wants the cap for unspecified sentimental reasons."
"Psst." Cassie tugged on her brother's sleeve. "Look, it's Mr. Jorgensen and his granddaughters out there on a bench."
Glancing up he saw a panting and frazzled man. "Whoa, he looks wiped and it's been less than an hour since they got here."
"We should help them again."
The idea of hanging out with his ex-fiancée's children, especially the one conceived during the big cheat, didn't have much appeal. "Honestly, it's really uncomfortable for me considering the circumstances, so I'd rather not." Since they had told the girls the dramatic story, he knew she'd understand his point of view.
Staring at the spoiled brat before her, Cassie said, "You know what's really uncomfortable, Greg? Waking up one day and finding out you don't have a daddy anymore. You're lucky you don't know what that's like, but I do, and so does that five year old girl. Look at her crying and ask yourself – what would Nick do?"
Before he could get over the verbal reality slap, Greg saw his partner rushing into the gift shop.
"Hey, G!" Nick pointed over his shoulder. "Mr. Jorgensen is out there lookin' wiped and little Chelsea is bawlin' her eyes out. I know it's a little awkward, but I think we should help 'em, don't you?"
"Yeah." Greg smiled at his precocious adopted sister. "I was just thinking the same thing."
"Nicky wasn't thinkin' it through," Nancy informed Gwen as they slid into a corner booth at The Squash Blossom café. "Twelve hours daddying Cassie at Disneyland was makin' him have second thoughts. By the end of the trip he'll think he was as nuts as we think he is."
"So you don't think he'll do the baby share?" Gwen asked, before lifting the glass of ice water a bus boy had just placed in front of her.
"I think the odds are greater that he'd play in a field of ant hills."
"Here we are, Chelsea…Bug World." Surveying the area, Greg laughed, "My friend Grissom would love this place. He's really into bugs." While Mr. Jorgensen rested at the hotel and Maddie went on thrill rides with Nick and Cassie, he and Jenni had volunteered to take the five year old wherever she wanted to go. "Heimlich's Chew Train first, right?"
"Yep."
"That way." Jenni, the self-appointed map navigator, pointed straight ahead. "It's in the back of this section."
"Let's go!" Chelsea grabbed her grandpa's friend's hand and tugged.
"Slow down, Gidget." Greg reminded her, "My sister can't run, remember? Her legs are still a little weak from being hurt."
"How did you hurt your legs?" the little girl asked, forgetting if she had been told.
"In a car accident."
"We don't like to talk about it though." To change the subject, Greg lifted the child and placed her on his shoulders like Nick had earlier. "You like this better than the stroller?"
"Strollers are for babies, I'm not a baby, I'm five." She placed her sticky palm in front of the man's face and wiggled all her fingers. "Five! Grandpa bought me a butterfly bike for my birthday. It's pink and yellow."
"Cool."
Jenni enjoyed watching her brother struggle to balance the girl on his shoulders. "You ever do that before, Greg?"
"No, can't say that I have." And I never would have guessed that the first kid to ride on my shoulders would be my ex-fiancée's daughter! "Are you comfy, Chelsea?"
"Yep!" She giggled. "It's easy holding onto your ears, 'cause they stick out big."
How cute, she insults me just like her father used to.
"Look!" Jenni yelled. "It's Flik! He's posing for pictures. Do you want your picture with him, Chelsea?"
The girl's eyes lit. "Yeah!"
"Okay, down you go." Once his hands were free, Greg reached into his pocket for his Olympus Stylus camera. "You smile, I'll snap."
"We have to wait our turn though," Jenni cautioned the hyper girl. "Wow, you're bouncy like a Tigger, aren't you?"
"Yep! Look how high I can jump!"
When the girl landed squarely on a well-dressed grey-haired woman's sandaled foot, Greg rushed to apologize. "Sorry, I'm really sorry. I should have told her not to jump in line."
"It's okay," the 63 year old grandmother of five told the young father. "If a kid can't get excited at Disneyland, where can they get excited? Gosh, she's adorable; such a beautiful smile."
"It's her mother's smile," rolled off of Greg's tongue. I can't believe I just said that! "Chelsea, say you're sorry to the nice lady for stepping on her toes."
"Sorry."
The grandmother smiled at the child. "You're very lucky to have such a nice daddy."
Chelsea merrily told the stranger the truth as she had overheard it many times, "My daddy is a deadbeat asshole who won't buy me shoes, 'cause he spends all his money on his slutty girlfriend."
When the woman turned to stare at him, Greg blurted, "I'm not her daddy! My sister and I are just watching her for her grandpa, who is an old family friend. I only met loose lips an hour ago." Kneeling down, he looked Chelsea in the eyes. "Did your mommy tell you to say that about your daddy? Because you said a few reeeeally bad words."
Shrugging, the girl replied, "I guess my mommy doesn't know the words are bad, 'cause she always says them when she's yelling."
"What the hell happened to you?" Hodges screamed when he saw his normally pale and conservatively clothed co-worker looking tan, gelled, and dressed like a pirate in a big white puffy shirt.
"I was abducted by a makeover team." Cupping his crotch, Henry ambled to the couch. "It was all a blur until the waxing started."
"Waxing? But you don't have any hair on your chest."
"Not my chest." He pointed to his throbbing left sac. "South of the border."
"Nooo." Hodges couldn't even bring himself to imagine it. "That hair is there for a reason," the scientist lectured, "friction. I'd invest in some diaper rash cream, Jack Sparrow."
"Okay, but right now I need an ice pack." Henry winced as he tried to move to a more comfortable position. "I think the spray tan stuff is irritating the waxed area."
Feeling terrible for leaving his depressed friend alone while stinking drunk, Hodges jumped into action. "There's a plastic liner inside our ice bucket, I'll fill that and tie it into an ice pack. If that doesn't work, we'll fill the tub with ice for you to cool off."
"It's hot here," Chelsea announced while waiting in the line for Heimlich's Chew Train.
"Yeah, it's even hotter in Las Vegas where I live," Greg shared. "It's probably a lot cooler in Minnesota where you live now, huh? Do you like living there?"
"Uh huh," the girl answered while rocking on the heels of her princess sneakers. "Maddie and I have a real bedroom, not just a couch in the living room, and mommy likes it 'cause the bugs don't eat my cereal and cookies."
"Why did bugs eat your cereal and cookies at your old house?" Jenni asked, wondering what she meant exactly.
"Duh! They ate my food 'cause they were hungry."
Slipping into CSI mode, Greg probed, "Were there a lot of bugs in your kitchen?"
Using her fingers as antennas, Chelsea replied, "Roaches. I liked to play with them, but Maddie was scared of 'em, so mommy would take off her shoe and splat them. Mommy said they didn't feel a thing, but I don't know, I think it would hurt lots to get splatted with a shoe. Do you think it would hurt to get splatted?"
I speak from personal experience when I say yes. "No, your mommy was right, they didn't feel a thing."
Jenni whispered in her brother's ear, "Do you think she's fascinated with bug stuff because she's been playing with bugs for a year?"
"I'm thinkin' so," Greg spoke under his breath, "how sad is that?"
"We should totally spoil her."
"The line's moving!" Chelsea shrieked, hoping it was finally their turn.
When he saw they would be getting on the ride, Greg lifted his camera. "You two go and I'll stay out here and take pictures." Watching grinning Chelsea rush for a seat, his own lips spread into a smile. "Aww." Waving, he yelled, "Smile for a picture, girls!" It was hard to believe that a kid that cute could have such an outrageous scumbag for a father. "Have fun!" It was such a nice change of pace taking pictures of the living. "I'll meet you at the exit!" He snapped photos on the way.
"First time here with your kids?"
When Greg turned around he saw an ancient man wearing a portable oxygen tank. "With my sister and my friend's daughter, yeah. I'm a newlywed, so I don't have any kids yet."
91 year old Larry Goldberg nodded at the young man. "From the looks of it, you have the right stuff."
Realizing he had looked like a competent dad to the stranger, Greg smiled back. "Thanks, we're thinking we'll try for kids in a year or so."
"They keep you young." With a shaky hand, the old man pointed. "Get ready to snap. They're comin' back."
"Thanks." When he saw the girls laughing like lifelong sisters, Greg warmed up to the little girl. "How was it?" he asked, meeting them at the gate.
"We heard him chewing!" Chelsea giggled, "And he burped louder than Grandpa!"
"It was really cute," Jenni added, thoroughly enjoying the big sister experience. "You could smell what he was eating too, like watermelon, and they have water tubes overhead, so you get dripped on."
"Ugh." When Hodges saw his bag of ice was ripped and leaking, he stopped to see if he could fix it.
"What are you doing here?"
"Huh?" Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Wendy wearing a spa robe and a look of disbelief. "I'm not gay," he blurted, fearing she'd get turned off, "I'm here spying."
"Spying on whom?" she asked in a whisper while trying not to look conspicuous.
Hodges shook his head at the CSI wannabe. "You, Sherlock. I'm spying on you and your gal pals. It was all Henry's idea, because he couldn't stand to be apart from Mandykins for 48 hours. He snooped and found the name of the resort." Folding his arms across his chest, he shared, "The lesbian thing has very upset him." Cracking a grin, he continued, "I, on the other hand, am completely turned on by your bisexuality, so don't worry, it won't be an obstacle in our ever evolving relationship. I'll even cheer you on from the sidelines if you want me to." He pumped his fist. "Go Girls!" When he received a slap across the face as a reply, he recoiled in shock. "Was it something I said?"
"It was everything you said!" Wendy yelled in his face. "How dare you snoop and spy on me? How dare you call me a lesbian?" Remembering her locale, she shouted toward the busy pool area, "Not that there's anything wrong with being gay!" Turning, she huffed, "I'm out of here."
"Hey, Simms!" Hodges boldly called out, "If caring about you is a crime, I'm willing to take the rap!"
"Wait…did he just say he cared about me?" Wendy turned on her heels, but Hodges was nowhere to be seen. "Where did he go?"
"Ready to go to the swimming pool, kiddo?" Standing in the doorway of his hotel room, Greg smiled at Chelsea and then told Mrs. Jorgensen, "We just need to give Jenni a minute, she's still changing. There's some snacks on the table over there if you're hungry, Gidget."
"Snacks!"
While her granddaughter darted off, Mrs. Jorgensen graciously said, "I can't thank you enough for entertaining her today. You really saved the day."
"Honestly, I've been having a blast myself." After tearing through California Adventure for five hours, Greg didn't want the fun to end, so he had suggested taking Chelsea for a swim to burn off more of her seemingly boundless energy. "I met this like 90 year old man while I was waiting for the girls to ride Heimlich's Chew train. He told me that kids keep you young, which I can totally see, but what's really nice is," he paused to add a disclaimer, "forgive me if this sounds a little weird or morbid, but after spending 75 hours a week dealing with the dead, it feels great to run around with a kid who has a huge life force. I totally get why some cops can't wait to go home and play with their children after a tough shift."
"I'm havin' the best time, girls." Squeezing ketchup onto his burger, Nick asked, "What about you two?"
"This is the best day ever!" Maddie declared, eternally grateful for her new best friend Cassie and the man who had been nicer to her in one morning than her father had been to her in years. "Thank you for letting me come with you."
"Aww, you're welcome, honey." Nick winked at Cassie, "It's been great for us to have you along too, 'cause it's fun for Cass to pal around with a friend around her age rather than to just be with me."
"We're gonna email each other when we get home and stay friends forever." Maddie nudged her new buddy. "Right?"
"Yep." Cassie nodded as she chomped a French fry. "And if she's ever in Las Vegas, I told her she can come to my house to play and swim."
"I'm not going to swim," Jenni whispered to Greg as they placed their towels and belongings on lounge chairs. "Everyone will stare at my scars if I take off my yoga pants. I'm just going to read and watch you and Chelsea."
"Are you sure?" Greg gently pushed the issue. "You're not alone in the scar department when you're with me and once you're in the water no one will see your legs anyway."
"Maybe later." She took a seat on the lounge chair and asked, "Do you need help putting on your swimmies, Chelsea?" The little girl was struggling to get the second one on.
"Why do you need those?" the California boy, who had learned to swim when he was two, queried.
"I don't know how to swim without 'em."
Bending down in front of the flower bikini-clad girl, Greg explained, "Floaties just make it harder to learn how to swim the right way. How about we leave them here and I give you some swim lessons instead?"
"I don't wanna drown."
"He won't let you drown," Jenni assured the skeptic. "He helps people every day and he saved my life, remember?" She had told the girl a watered-down version of her accident story. "Trust him, you'll be fine, I promise."
"Okay," the five year old grumbled as she dropped her floaties. "But my mommy is gonna be really mad at you if I drown."
Tossing his t-shirt, Greg chuckled, "Believe me, I don't want your mommy yelling at me, so I'll be extra careful. I bet I can have you swimming in an hour."
"Hey, Greg, those girls at the pool bar are checking you out." Jenni laughed, "Little do they know."
"Where were all these girls when I was single?" Shaking his head, Greg kicked off his flip flops. "Okay, Gidget, let's hit the water. Do you know how to jump off the side into someone's arms?"
Chelsea stuffed her hands on her hips. "Nope."
"Do you know how to put your head underwater and blow bubbles?"
"Nope."
"What do you know how to do in the water?"
"I know how to stand on the third step and float with my floaties," she proudly shared. "I've never been off the stairs."
Jenni grinned behind her magazine. Good luck teaching her how to swim in an hour, Bro!
"We'll start with something real easy then." Greg hopped into the water and lifted his arms to pluck Chelsea from the deck. "A piggie back ride across the pool while you kick your feet."
When she heard choking noises, Jenni peered around her magazine. "Not so tight around his neck, sweetie! You're choking him."
"I'm holding tight 'cause I'm scared!"
"I think I have Elephantitis of the nuts," Henry frantically whispered as he tried to shake Hodges from slumber. "My left one is bright red and five times its normal size."
"What time is it?" Hodges grumbled.
"4 pm."
"We're nocturnal creatures," the irritated friend moaned, "we're supposed to be asleep at 4pm. Go to sleep."
"I would," Henry whimpered, "if my left nut wasn't throbbing. I think need to go an Urgent Care place or something."
Hodges opened one eye. "You're really going to walk into a medical facility and ask them to check out your shaved and inflamed ball?"
"If the choice is that or go infertile, yes! If I can't make Mandy pregnant again in the future, she'll dump me for sure."
"You breeders drive me crazy." Ready to be a good friend yet again, Hodges flipped back his bedding. "Life was more peaceful when I was a loner."
"But was it more fun?"
"Again! Again!" Chelsea squealed while hurrying up the steps. "One more jump."
"You said one more jump twenty jumps ago, Gidge." Greg readied to catch her again. "One more."
"Did my daughter just jump into the water?" Lacey asked as she rushed to get to the pool's edge. "Wait…where did they go?"
"Underwater," Jenni answered, giving the woman the once over. Ugh, she's wearing a sexy, short cover-up over what I'm sure is a teeny, tiny bikini. Fat chance, lady! My brother won't give you the time of day. "She jumps, they both go underwater, and then she surfaces and kicks to the steps. They've done it dozens of times already."
"Oh my god, she's really swimming!" The mother beamed with pride. "Greg taught her to swim in an hour?"
"In about twenty minutes," the proud sister replied. "He's a great guy with a lot of talents, so I'm not surprised." And you cheated on him, you sleazy witch. Ha! Your loss, Nick's gain.
"Thank you, Greg!" Lacey yelled toward her ex-fiancé as he rubbed water from his eyes. "I can't believe she's swimming!" She also couldn't believe how fantastic Greg looked wet and topless.
Jenni's disgust grew as she watched the loser leer at her brother's biceps and newly acquired six pack.
"How's your hand?" Greg flatly asked, the CSI in him not believing the bullshit story he had been told. "Looks pretty serious from the bandaging." Shit, I hope she doesn't think I care because I asked.
The inquiry told Lacey her Ex still cared. "Dozen stitches. I'll be fine. My pride hurts more than my hand, because my father has been lecturing me since it happened."
What a shameless plea for sympathy! Rolling her eyes, Jenni counted the seconds until the she-devil came up with a reason to drop her cover-up.
"Mommy!" Chelsea was thrilled to see her mother poolside. "I can swim!"
"I know! I saw!" Lacey opened her arms. "I'm so proud of you. It was so nice of Greg to teach you." When her drenched daughter hugged her, she laughed, "Uh oh, you just got mommy soaked, Chels."
Maybe you should drop your cover-up and let it dry in the sun. Jenni gaped when she saw blondie had a picture-perfect body and a teenier bikini than she had imagined. I'm gonna hurl if the Ho leans over and flashes her boobs at him.
Whoa. If she had that body back in college, I never would have agreed to wait until marriage. Living up to his reputation as a solid three on the Kinsey scale, Greg's gaze gravitated toward his ex's cleavage.
"Watch me jump!" Chelsea took off without warning.
"Greg!" Jenni shouted, hoping to get his attention before the kid landed on the side of his face. "Too late." But that's what you get for being distracted by big boobs!
"Is she okay?" Lacey hurried to the stairs.
"She's fine, just rattled." Greg choked out water as he clutched the frightened child and made his way toward the stairs. "I'm not so sure about my nose, I think her knee plowed right into it."
"I've got her towel!" Jenni went to the edge to wait for her. "Come here, sweetie."
After placing Chelsea on the stairs, Greg asked, "Am I bleeding?"
"Tilt your head back," Lacey instructed as she stepped deeper into the water. "I don't see any blood." She gently pressed on his nose. "Does it hurt when I do that?"
"Not really, but my pain threshold has gone up recently."
Jenni felt compelled to add, "Nearly getting beaten to death because you sacrificed your safety to save an innocent man's life will do that to a guy."
"What?" Noting the scattered scars on her ex's previously unmarred body, Lacey said, "I know you saved Jenni, but you almost died saving a man too? When did that happen?"
"Last fall, but I really don't like talking about it, so…watch out!" He grabbed his Ex just as three teenage boys came rushing for the stairs. "I didn't want your bandages to get wet."
Unexpectedly in her ex's arms again, Lacey batted her eyelashes. "You really are good at saving people." Giggling, she glided her palm over his bicep. "Your arms a lot stronger than I remember."
If it wasn't for Chelsea being in her arms, Jenni would have told off the shameless flirt. "Hey, Greg! I bet you can get some ice for your nose at the bar."
"Great idea." After returning Lacey safely to the stairs, he hurried to his lounge chair for a towel.
"Mom!" Maddie yelled on approach. "Are you feeling better? I want you to meet my new friend Cassie!" Grabbing her pal's hand, she rushed forward.
"You guys are back, cool." Finished toweling off, Greg hurried over to his partner. "How was your day, Cletus?"
Still trying to cope with the image of Greg holding his ex-fiancée in the pool, Nick could only nod.
Forgetting his plans to find ice, Greg whispered, "I'm really glad you're back, because I need to talk to you about something."
"About what?" Nick asked, masking his emotions.
"Let's get somewhere private first, okay?"
"Somewhere private?"
"It's not really something I want to tell you in public," Greg quietly explained.
"Oh." His paranoia intensifying, Nick's heart rate soared. "Yeah, sure, okay. Cass! You stay out of the water and with Jenni until we get back, okay?"
"I'll keep an eye on them!" Lacey offered, feeling obligated to give something back after the men had generously cared for her daughters all day.
"Awesome!" Greg smiled at his Ex. "Thanks."
"No problem." Trying not to imagine the two guys having a quickie, Lacey giggled, "Take all the time you need."
The sight of the ex-lovers smiling and giggling in each other's direction sent Nick's blood into a boil and his stomach into knots. "Let's go."
"I found a shortcut to our room."
"Great."
Greg pointed. "This way."
Nick followed in silence.
"OW!" Henry shrieked when the stodgy old doctor prodded his privates with a gloved hand. "Is it an infection? Is it serious? Will I lose my fertility?"
"No." Snapping off his latex gloves, Dr. Carlson said, "It's an allergic reaction to either the wax or the spray tanner. You'll make a full recovery."
Henry collapsed on the exam room table. "You saved my life."
"You're killin' me with the suspense here." Too unnerved to sit, Nick paced the living room of their suite. "What the hell is goin' on?"
"Sorry." Trying to find the right words, Greg rambled, "It's crazy, and I know you're going to be upset, but…it's like I woke up this morning thinking one way and after seven hours with Chelsea, I feel completely different. I'm serious, I'm not the same guy I was this morning. I know I said I would never change my mind and I meant it when I said it, but now…after today." He gulped, "I'm sorry, but I can't go through with it, Cletus." When he didn't get a reaction, he prodded, "How upset are you? You look mad. No, you looked pissed, really pissed. I'm sorry, I know you were really counting on…"
"Damn right I was counting on you to keep your promise!" Nick rushed to put distance between them. "I can't believe you're sayin' this!"
"I'm sorry," Greg pleaded with his tone and eyes, "I didn't know how strongly I would feel until I…"
"Until you had her in your arms?"
"No, before that." Greg clarified, "It started when I was taking pictures of her on Heimlich's Chew Train, but it really it hit me hard when we were playing hide and go seek in the playland."
"You were playin' hide and go seek with Lacey in the…"
"Lacey?" Greg laughed, "If I played with her, I'd conveniently forget to do the 'seek' part of the game. I was playing with Chelsea. I was being a dad, a great one." Even though he was in trouble for going back on his word, he couldn't stop smiling. "Until today I didn't think I had the right stuff, but I do. I even taught the kid to swim in twenty minutes!" Beaming with excitement, he asked, "Even though I'm changing my mind, aren't you happy for me?"
"You want to be Chelsea's dad and I'm supposed to be happy?" Nick asked in disbelief, "Am I supposed think this is a noble sacrifice? Cassie may think I'm a saint, but I'm not. I'm not gonna look you in the eyes and say 'great, your life will be far less complicated if you marry your ex, have your ass kissed by in-laws who worship you, and be an instant daddy to two great kids instead of bein' with me and gettin' dirty looks, no respect from most of my family, and needin' outside help to have a baby'!"
"Is that what you think I'm saying?" Greg exclaimed in shock. "That I want to throw everything away and pick up where I left off with Lacey? How can you think that?"
"Because I saw you playin' in the pool with Lacey! If her tits had been any closer to your face…"
"Is that why you were acting so weird by the pool? I thought you were just tired!"
"I…"
"I caught Lacey when she got knocked off her feet on the pool stairs, because I didn't want her bandages to get wet! I don't have feelings for her! If you had just bothered to ask…" Completely deflated, Greg said, "No, I don't want to be Chelsea's stepfather. What I was excited to tell you was - after spending the day acting like a dad, I realized I want to have a baby with you, not the lesbians. I was trying to tell you that I want us to go the surrogate route with Tawny, because I'm not afraid to be a dad anymore. I felt bad because I was backing out of the co-parenting decision when I said I wouldn't. I wasn't backing out of our marriage. I walked in here ecstatic about our future. I couldn't wait to tell you how much I was looking forward to bringing our kid here one day."
"Oh." Feeling horrible for jumping to an insane conclusion, Nick flustered, "I'm uh…I'm feelin' a little ridiculous all of a sudden."
"Yeah?" Staring at his wedding ring, Greg said, "Well suddenly I'm feeling a little pissed off." He marched for the door. "How great is this? I'm pissed off at the happiest place on Earth!"
"Where are you going?"
"Where do you think a guy who would cheat and throw over his mate would go? Pirates of the Caribbean!" Greg threw open the door. "I'm going to commune with my cad brethren!"
"G!" The sound of the door slamming made Nick jump. "Dammit!"
***
Chapter 36: When You Wish Upon a StarFlopping onto their cushy hotel bed, Greg chuckled, "After two and half days of non-stop Disney fun, I don't think I have enough energy left to kiss you, Cletus." Closing his eyes, the joyous and loud sounds of the day echoed in his head. "I think I want to take a nap too."
"C'mon, don't tell me Peter Pan is getting too old for Disneyland," Nick elbowed his husband in the ribs. "Say it isn't so."
"I feel like I just pulled three doubles."
"Technically you did," Nick laughed. "I think you're lettin' this birthday go to your head, G….and your body." Loving every second of their family vacation, he said, "Yeah, I'm as exhausted as I would be at work, but I'm a hell of a lot happier." Snuggling close, he closed his eyes. "But I'm always happy when I'm at Disneyland with you."
"Except the first time we were here." Recalling the drama, Greg opened his eyes. "When we had that ridiculous fight over Lacey. Remember that?"
"Now I do." It was hard to believe only seven years had passed, because it felt like a lifetime ago. "I was worried that you were gonna dump me and run off to play daddy with your Ex and her kids."
"While I was trying to tell you how much I wanted to play daddy to our own kids." Grinning, the exhausted 40 year old, said, "If I had known how tired I would be playing daddy, I would have run off with a pool lifeguard that day we argued."
"You don't mean that."
"Nope." Greg caressed a tender kiss over his spouse's lips. "I wouldn't trade my life for anything, not even twelve hours of uninterrupted…"
"Pappa…"
"…sleep." Greg propped up on his elbows to smile at their daughter who had just turned six a few weeks ago. "What's goin' on, Princess Haleigh?" She was still wearing the Cinderella outfit Nana Jan had specially made for the trip.
Her long blond curls bouncing as she skipped into the room, Haleigh said, "It hurts to sleep with my hair in pony tails." After pouncing onto the bed, she scooted between her fathers. "Sorry, but I can't take a nap."
Nick gently tugged on his daughter's left ponytail. "Sweetie, how about we take out the pony tails so you can rest for a couple of hours and then we'll redo 'em before we meet your grandparents and aunts for dinner?"
"I'm six now. I'm too old for naps."
"I want a nap!" Greg laughed. "And I'm waaaaay older than you, munchkin."
The imaginative child replied, "So why don't you pretend you're four like Garrett and sleep in the other bedroom with him while I'll stay in here and watch TV." She snatched the remote. "We need to catch up on the day's sports scores anyway, right Daddy?" At home they snuggled on the couch and watched Sportscenter almost daily.
Nick smiled at the sweetheart who was a carbon copy of Greg with the exception of having Tawny's hair and athleticism. "Always thinkin' up a plan, aren't ya?"
"A brain is a terrible thing to waste," she deadpanned.
"Isn't that cute?" Greg chuckled. "I said that and now she keeps telling other people. Grissom told me she said it when she was over there playing with Erin. He thought it was a gas." The proud father scooped up their daughter into his arms. "C'mon, I'm gonna brush out your ponytails so you're comfy and then you can watch cartoons on the couch. That way you won't wake your little brother or daddy and me. If you happen to get sleepy watching the Disney Channel, you can take nap."
"Okay," she agreed without hesitation, "but I bet I don't get sleepy."
"That's a sucker bet, G, don't take it." Nick crashed back onto the pillows. "She'll be wakin' us up just like yesterday and the day before."
"Yep." Greg popped into the bathroom to get Haleigh's hairbrush and his nail clippers before heading out to the main room of the suite.
"Don't cut my hair when you clip my hair bands."
Sitting his daughter on the couch, Greg comically exaggerated his reply. "What? What did you just say? Have I ever cut your hair when I snip your hair bands?"
"No," she giggled.
"That's right." After pulling out her hair bows, he quickly clipped both of the plastic bands. "I'm the man when it comes to hair. I brush, I comb, I braid, I even French braid. You're in good hands, Missy. Pfft. Snow White and Cinderella wish they had me around to do their hair." After a minute of brushing, he kissed the top of Haleigh's head. "You're all set. I'll go grab your pillow and blanket from your bedroom."
"And my Pooh bear!" Remembering her brother was sleeping, the responsible big sister lowered her voice to a whisper, "Sorry for yelling."
"Don't worry, he won't wake up. Upon entering bedroom, Greg checked on Garrett. "You and your daddy sleep like rocks when you're exhausted." Smiling, he affectionately ran his fingers through the little jock's dark brown hair. "And you both drool." With his new buzz cut, the boy looked exactly like Nick in his childhood photos.
Staring at the poster of Greg's childhood pictures that Cassie and Dave had made, Jan's eyes welled. "I can't believe my baby is forty."
"He doesn't act forty." Putting a few finishing touches on the poster she was making, Jenni said, "What I can't believe is that the forensics genius hasn't figured out we're throwing him a big surprise party."
"Maybe his investigative skills are slipping now that he's been out of the field for four years, two months and six days…not that I'm counting." Jan's cheeriness momentarily gave way to melancholy. "It seems like yesterday though, doesn't it?"
"Yeah." Jenni's smile faded as she recalled her adoptive mother's hysteria upon hearing that Warrick Brown and two police officers had been killed in a drive-by shooting only minutes after her brother had left their side at the scene. Suddenly the memory of Jan on her knees begging Greg to quit his job popped in her head and she could hear her sobbing and telling him that Haleigh would be devastated if she had to grow up without her father. Next came the image of her terrified brother crying and nodding as he clutched his daughter. "It was the right decision."
"Yes, it was a win-win for all. Just look at what Greg's accomplished in four years," the proud mother said, trying to shift her mind off somber thoughts. "He went from Lead Tech to DNA Lab Manager in record time." She never missed an opportunity to tell friends and strangers that her boy was in charge of the second most sophisticated DNA lab in the country, the first belonging to the Feds. "Did he tell you he's going to be a keynote speaker at the big forensics conference next month?"
"No, but you did twice." Jenni hugged her mom tight. "I hope I can make you half as proud one day."
"Oh, honey, you already have." The loving mother stroked her daughter's hair. "A 4.0 going into your senior year at Stanford." She winked. "Gregory only had a 3.8."
"I know." The competitive brainiac rubbed her hands together. "I can't wait to shove my grade report in his face when I get it. I really hope Cassie will change her mind about Stanford, because Greg would be really ticked if both of us did better than him."
"She won't change her mind. She only applied to Stanford and UCLA so we'd get off her back." Her frustration over her daughter's decision behind her, Jan calmly said, "Even though Nicky practically ordered her to go, she refuses to be away from him. When she was 13 she said she wanted to go to college at UNLV and work at the Lab, and she's never changed her mind, so I believe her." Sighing, she added, "Honestly, it's a blessing, because Haleigh and Garrett are used to having their Aunt Cassie in their lives full time."
"Maybe I should come home and go to UNLV for medical school." When her Stanford-obsessed mother shot her a death glare, Jenni laughed, "Just kidding, I love Stanford and Sean Blake way too much to come home, not that I don't love you guys too."
"I can't thank Carrie enough for introducing you to her sweet, scholarly nephew." If ever there was a guy who wouldn't recklessly get a girl pregnant, it was respectful and responsible Sean. "He's such a nice young man."
"He's a big time geek, mom, you can say it."
"Hey, I gave birth to a big time geek, so you know I approve of you dating one."
"The Grissoms are in the parking lot!" Cassie cheered as she rushed out of the bedroom. "They just called my cell. They were worried about getting caught if they checked in, but I told them Nick is making sure Greg stays in the suite until the party later. They also wanted me to tell you that the Board meeting at the Warrick Brown Community Center ran long and Catherine and Jim missed their flight. They're trying to get on the next one."
"Thank you, honey." Jan picked up the guest list to check off 'Gil, Sara, and Erin'. "Mandy called earlier and said one of the twins had an earache so Henry was going to take him to the doctor for a quick check before they left. Wendy and Hodges got in yesterday because they had some kind of crazy Star Trek convention they wanted to go to."
"If you ask me they're a little over the top with the Trekkie stuff." Laughing, Cassie peered at the list. "Bobby and Roy are driving out with Carrie, Jean and their kids and should get her within the hour." She turned to her sister. "Hey did you hear Carrie's pregnant with number three?"
Jenni stopped color her poster. "Really?"
"Yes," Jan caught up her daughter on the latest news, "With Peyton turning six and Connor going to kindergarten in the fall, Carrie got a nasty case of empty nest syndrome. With Roy consumed with his medical internship this year and residency on the horizon, Bobby has plenty of time to play daddy, so he decided the third time would be a charm. She's eleven weeks tomorrow."
"Good for them," Jenni smiled, remembering how devastated Carrie initially was when Nick turned her down. "They seemed so happy at Christmas."
"They are, and the kids are adorable. I ask Carrie, Jean, and Bobby to speak at PFLAG meetings with me all the time, because if there ever was a model for co-parenting success, it's them. Roy comes sometimes too, but his schedule is crazy. I'm taking them to a meeting in La Brea tomorrow as a matter of fact."
"Cool. Now answer my other burning question – what time is Tawny's hot doctor boyfriend getting here?" Jenni was anxious to meet her big sister's much-lauded beau. Originally she was to meet him at Christmas, but on the day she was to arrive, the good doctor was asked to join an emergency medical team responding to a crisis in Africa." "I want to see if he's as studly as he is in photos."
"He is," Jan and Cassie chimed before breaking into laughter.
"All the gays think he's hot," Jan joked, "and you know how picky they are. Roy said even though he's told all his fellow interns that Manny is madly in love with Tawny, some of them still get tongue-tied whenever Dr. McHottie conducts rounds with them."
"Tawny and Manny have known each other about ten months now," Cassie said while tying ribbons on party favors, "and he's taking her to New Mexico for his cousin's wedding next weekend and he's going to introduce her to his parents. That means he's totally serious. Do you think he'll pop the question soon, Mom?"
Jan snickered, "If you swear on your trust funds not to blab, I'll answer that question."
"Promise!" the sisters replied without hesitation.
"Tonight during the Disneyland fireworks."
"No way!" Cassie couldn't contain her excitement. "I didn't think it would be this soon."
"Well, originally he was going to wait until for her birthday, but he told your father and me that he wanted to introduce Tawny as his fiancée, not his girlfriend. He's anticipating that his parents are going to be more than a little disturbed by some aspects of Tawny's life story, specifically her decision to conceive and carry two babies for Greg and Nick. He warned us that his parents are very conservative Catholics who were actively involved in the campaign against the national Gay Marriage legislation that passed last year. So before he explains everything to them, he wants them to understand that he's already set on marrying Tawny."
Jenni huffed, "They'll probably be those kind of people who don't get emotional or outraged when they find out Tawny was raped by her mother's boyfriend and kicked out of her home at sixteen to fend for herself, but they go nuts when they hear she chose to bring two babies into this world for a happily married gay couple."
"It's ridiculous, I know." The frustrated mother and PFLAG President said, "The people who get the most disgusted with Tawny are always the ones who protest abortion and talk about protecting children from abuse."
"I get the most ticked at the ones who assume she only did it because she was strapped for cash." Jenni rolled her eyes. "Like it wouldn't be easier for someone as attractive as Tawny to make money without going through nine months of pregnancy and the pain of childbirth. When I tell the judgmental jerks that she used her compensation money to get a college degree and go to law school so she can put scumbags behind bars and keep them away from innocent children, some of the bastards have the nerve to reply 'if she really cared about children she wouldn't be letting queers raise her babies'."
"If Manny's parents say that to her face..."
"Hey!" Cassie interjected, knowing exactly how riled Jan and 'Mini-Jan' Jenni could get when set off about gay rights and surrogate mothers. "Let's stick to happy thoughts today."
"Tell me the story of the day I was born," Haleigh requested as she snuggled her blankie on the couch.
"You're not bored of that one yet?" Greg replied, taking a seat on the floor in front of her.
"Nope. That one and the one about my first birthday party are my favorites. You should write a book about those stories instead of writing another one on Las Vegas. We could do it together. You can type the words, and I can draw the pictures. Daddy says my drawings are awesome, that's why he always asks if he can take them to work." She was counting the days until she was old enough to get an LVPD guest pass and take a tour of the Lab she heard so much about. "What does he do with them at work? I hope he doesn't throw them away like Lexie's mom does when she thinks Lexie isn't looking."
"Are you kidding?" Criss-crossing his heart, Greg said, "I swear Supervisor Stokes has every one of your beautiful pictures and Garrett's scribbles hanging up on the side wall of his office. He also has ones from Cassie and every picture or thank you card any kid has ever made for him. Whenever he's sad or angry at work because of a bad guy, he stares at the wall of pictures to cheer himself up. I do too. A lot of people do, your artwork is kinda famous actually. And whenever we have a child witness or victim there, Daddy brings them to his office because seeing your wall of pictures makes the place a lot less scary."
"He really does that?"
"Yep, first he shows them the photos of you and Garrett that he has on his desk, so they know he's a dad who likes children. After that, he shows them the wall and talks about how he loves drawing pictures with his kids. Then he puts a stack of paper and a bucket of crayons on a table in the office and says 'let's color'. Eventually he gets them to draw a picture of the bad guy or the bad thing that happened to them, which is cool, because drawing about bad stuff is a lot easier for kids than talking about it. Daddy gets them to tell the whole story before they even know they did."
"Daddy's really good at his job, huh."
"Yeah." Greg sweetly ruffled his daughter's hair. "That's one of the reasons I fell in love with him."
"I bet Daddy would love our book with your words and my drawings, 'cause he could read it to scared kids. Can't you stop writing the Las Vegas book and…"
"Sweetie, I know you hate it when I go in my office to write and put the 'do not disturb' sign on my door, but the thing is, those books make money for our family." Trying to make her understand, he said, "A check from my publisher paid for that cruise you loved last year."
"Oh." After pondering the information for a moment, she said, "So you mean we can't go on another cruise if you don't write another book? That's okay, camping is fun too."
"No, it's not!" he laughed. "Anyway, I have to finish the third book, because the project is a series of three stories and it won't be complete if I don't do part three. Nobody likes an unfinished story. Wouldn't you be bummed if Cinderella ended before the prince found her?" While she nodded, he said, "As soon as I'm done with the series, I promise we'll write a book together."
"Deal…but write fast."
"I'll do my very best." Hoping to soothe her into a nap, he began rhythmically stroking her long blond locks. "Once upon a time your Daddy and I were waaaaaaaaay out in the desert working with our friends Sara and Grissom. We were all very, very sad because this bad guy we had been trying to catch for months had hurt more people that night, including a mommy with a baby in her tummy. While we were working really hard trying to find clues like footprints and strands of hair that would tell us who the bad guy was and how to find him, it suddenly started to rain buckets. That made us angry, because we knew all the clues would be washed away before we could find them and the bad guy would probably have time to hurt more innocent people."
"But he was caught while I was being borned and is rotting up in jail for life!"
"Hey, don't skip ahead to the future while we're in the middle of the story." Greg laughed, "That only worked well for LOST."
"Lost?"
"It was a TV series that was on from 2004 to 2010. You can watch the DVDs with Daddy and me when you're older. Now where was I?"
"It just started to rain."
"Right. As we were working in the rain getting wetter and sadder, my cell phone rang. I expected it to be someone from work, but when I answered it, I heard my mom saying the best words ever."
"Do the Nana Jan crazy voice!"
"Of course." Greg did a perfect imitation of his hysteria-prone mother. "The baby is coming! The baby is coming! Hurry! We'll meet you and Nicky at Desert Palms! I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma! Drive carefully, Gregory!"
"Yep, that's the voice."
"I closed the phone and shouted 'Tawny's having the baby!' Everyone started yelling and cheering. Daddy went crazy and rushed forward to hug me, but the ground was slippery from the rain, so he ended up sliding and tackling me. Bam! Before I knew what happened, I landed in a giant mud puddle on my butt and Daddy fell on top of me. Thud!" That part always made her giggle.
"I can't wait to draw the picture of you getting splatted."
"And I can't wait to see it," he replied before continuing. "The Grissoms helped us to our feet as Captain Brass yelled 'I'll drive you to the hospital!' which was great, because we were too nervous and excited to drive carefully and he had a police siren and permission to go real fast. The whole way there we were trying to guess if you would be a boy or a girl. We bet on everything - the color of your eyes, your weight, how many inches you would be." He silently laughed at the memory of Jim betting him a c-note that Nick's jock sperm had won the fertilization race. "Daddy was sure you were going to be a boy, but I was certain we were having a girl."
"I'm glad I wasn't borned a boy, because then there wouldn't be any girls in our house."
"Yeah, and I wouldn't have any hair to braid."
"You could still braid Sugar's mane," the pony lover reminded her father.
"We probably wouldn't have a pretty pony named Sugar if we had two boys."
"Oh, right."
"When we got to the hospital, Daddy and I were so anxious to see your Aunt Tawny that we forgot we were wet, muddy, and wearing our LVPD jackets and ball caps. As we ran through the lobby and down the hall, everyone freaked out thinking we were chasing a bad guy through the hospital. Alarms sounded, the front doors locked, and security came running, because they worried a baby napping was in progress."
"That's gonna be a funny picture too. Kinda like the one where everyone is running through the hospital to catch Curious George on the runaway wheelchair."
"It was exactly like that actually," he chuckled. "After we cleared everything up with the security and the police, we finally got to see Aunt Tawny. Thanks to a special shot called an epidural, she was feeling great and she looked radiant, like a beautiful princess. When she saw me and your Daddy rush into the room breathless and worried, she started to cry and she told us 'I can't wait to do this for you', which made us and Aunt Jenni, Aunt Cassie and Grandpa and Nana cry too."
"Then Nana Jan yelled at you for being too dirty to be around a baby."
"Yeah. Thankfully a nice nurse felt gave us scrubs and showed us where we could take a hot shower."
"And you were sooooo worried that you'd miss me being borned, that you took the fastest shower of your life."
"That's right." Grinning, he tapped her button nose with his finger. "But we could have taken a six hour shower and not missed a thing. When the doctor finally said it was time for Aunt Tawny to push you out..."
"You forgot to say what you did while you were waiting for me to pop out."
"Oops." He filled in the blank. "First we watched the The Wizard of Oz for good luck, just like we did on the day you started to grow inside Aunt Tawny's tummy. After that we played Monopoly until she yelled 'get the doctor! The baby is coming!"
"Yay!"
"While the doctor was washing her hands and putting on gloves to catch you, Daddy took Aunt Tawny's left hand and I took her right. We knew the pushing part might hurt a little, so we kissed her on the cheek and thanked her in advance for being so special and brave." He wisely chose to skip over the thirty minutes of hardcore pushing that made Tawny frantically cry for her deceased father; the scary moment when a nurse said the baby's heart rate was plummeting; his mother panicking that her grandchild was going to be stillborn just like her two daughters had been; and the gruesome episiotomy that Cassie watched with great curiosity until she vomited all over the floor. "One giiiiiiiiiant push and we heard the doctor yell 'it's a girl!'"
"A girl baby covered in icky goo," she giggled, remembering how gross she looked in the photos taken by her Grandpa.
"Yeah, but even covered in icky goo you were the most beautiful thing we had ever seen." He paused to place a tender kiss on her forehead. "When you cried for the very first time…" He always choked up thinking of his mother dropping to her knees to thank God for her granddaughter being born alive and well. "Everyone in the room cheered when they heard you wailing. Daddy and I hugged Aunt Tawny tight and together we cried huge tears of incredible joy." Caressing his daughter's cheek, he smiled, "Then the nurse wrapped you in a blankie and placed you on Aunt Tawny's chest. It was the most thrilling moment of our lives, and just as Daddy reached out to hold your teeny tiny right hand, I slipped my finger into your itty bitty left hand."
"And I grabbed it!" Haleigh snatched her father's pointer finger. "Then I looked into your eyes."
"And with your eyes you said," he mimicked a baby girl voice, "'Hi! Are you the goofy guy who's been singing silly songs to me for nine months or the one with the accent who has been talking about football, ponies, and good nutrition?"
"No." Her reply was momentarily interrupted by a yawn. "I was saying, 'being born made me hungry. Somebody feed me."
"You're probably right," Greg teased, "because you stopped yelling as soon as I stuffed a bottle in your big mouth." When he saw Haleigh yawn a third time, he stroked her hair and whispered, "That will always be one of the best days of my life, along with my wedding day, your brother's birthday, the first time your daddy said he loved me, and the day I didn't die."
"And while you were feeding me my first bottle, Daddy got a phone call saying Sara caught the bad guy." Her eyes closing, Haleigh dreamily said, "I love happy endings."
"Doesn't everyone?" After brushing a kiss over his daughter's cheek Greg stood and returned to the bedroom. "Believe it or not, she's asleep." When he didn't get a reply, he chuckled, "And so are you. How is everyone asleep but me when I was the one who was desperate for a nap?" Shaking his head, he climbed into bed and burrowed into his husband's arms. "Mmm." Ready to welcome the Sandman, he closed his eyes.
"Pappa…"
No! Greg opened his eyes, hoping he had imagined their son's voice. "Hey, Rett. What's going on?"
"I'm done napping."
"What a coincidence." The exhausted father had to laugh. "I'm done napping too."
"Wanna play pirates with me?" The four and a half year old brandished the sword his grandpa had given him that morning.
"Sure."
"Wait…do you know how to play pirates, Pappa?"
"Believe it or not, kiddo, before you and Haleigh were born, I used to play pirates with your Daddy all the time." Greg smiled at his fond memories of Captain Jack role play adventures and outrageous booty jokes. "Yeah, we were quite the Swashbucklers back in the days before you and your sister came along." Standing up, he took their son by the hand and led him out of the room. "But for the record, Daddy and I like the days after you guys were born even more."
"Me too."
"Wanna go across the hall and make Nana Jan walk the plank?"
"Arrrrrrrr!" Garrett raised his sword. "Then she can't tell us what to do anymore!"
At times like these Greg found it hard to believe the boy didn't have an ounce of his DNA. "Arrrrrr!" He yelled, dashing into the hallway. "This way, ya scurvy lad!"
The pirate wannabe knocked on his grandparents' door with his giant plastic sword and when his Nana answered he yelled, "We're here to make you walk the plank! Arrrrrr! Get her, Pappa!"
"No!" Jenni shouted when she saw the guest of honor dash into the living room full of party supplies, place cards, and photo posters.
"What's going on?" the birthday boy asked, as the answer became increasingly obvious.
"Where's Nicky?" Jan snarled, "He's supposed to be keeping you in your suite until 6:30 so the surprise party wouldn't be ruined."
"Doh." Greg knew his husband was a dead man. "He fell asleep."
Jan rolled her eyes. "I give him one job!"
"Run for it, Matey!" Greg grabbed his son's hand and dashed for the door. "We need to warn Daddy he's in trouble!"
"It's going to take more than two pirate-wannabes to save Captain Snooze's booty!" Jan half-joked.
"Daddy! Daddy! Wake up!" Garrett shouted while running into the bedroom waving his sword. "Nana Jan is comin' for you!"
Startled from slumber, the confused man bolted up in bed. "What's wrong? What's going on?"
"Don't hurt him, Mommy!" Greg dove onto the bed in front of his clueless husband. "He didn't mean to fall asleep and ruin the surprise party by not keeping me in the room!"
"Oh, sh…" Nick covered his gaping mouth. "Sorry, Jan."
Watching his loving-but-crazy mother yell at his groveling husband while Garrett jumped up and down on the bed waving his sword and singing 'Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Pirate's Life for Me', Greg laughed, "I love the party so far! Yeah, let's do this every year!"
And they all lived happily ever after…most of the time.
The End
ANs:
This "sudden flash forward" conclusion to the story was inspired by LOST Season 3, Episode 22 'Through the Looking Glass'.
***
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