Title: The Day Before You Came
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ryan Wolfe/Jesse Cardoza
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: This is an AU series -- Jesse is obviously still alive & well!
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Ryan Wolfe or Jesse Cardoza, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Ryan took a deep breath of the warm Miami air as he made his way from the parking lot to the lab, hoping that today was going to be a good day. There had been too many bad ones in the recent past, though he felt more at ease in his job now than he ever had before.
That was probably because Delko hadn't been around for a while, and Ryan didn't miss him. They had an uneasy truce at work now, but Delko was still his biggest detractor, so quick to hammer him for anything he did wrong, while ignoring his own mistakes.
And the rest of the team seemed to feel the same way, Ryan thought with an inward sigh. Delko was always the golden boy to everyone; no matter how many times he fucked up, his mistakes were always glossed over, while Ryan's were always put under a microscope.
He thought that he'd gotten used to being the team scapegoat, but deep down inside, he probably never would. And they would always treat him as though he was second-class, he thought sourly as he entered the lobby and headed for the elevator. It was just how their world worked.
Things weren't going to change as long as he worked here, so he'd better get used ot it, he told himself as the elevator doors opened and he stepped out. It was going to be a long day, and he was sure that there were a multitude of cases waiting to be worked on.
Ryan stopped short in the doorway of the lab and stared at the tall, dark man standing there. For a moment, he couldn't speak, couldn't find words to ask who this man was, couldn't stop the wild thumping of his heart suddenly speeding up in his chest.
He was sure that he'd never seen such a gorgeous man in his entire life. Was this someone who'd be working with closely -- and would he be working here for longer than just a few days? Ryan certainly hoped so; he already knew that he'd like to get to know this man better.
Slow down, Ryan, he told himself firmly. You don't even know if this guy swings both ways. One thing at a time. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair before entering the lab and hoping that he didn't sound nervous when he spoke.
"Hey, Ryan, come over here and meet our new member," Walter called, waving at Ryan across the large room. Ryan took a deep breath as he approached the man who was standing next to Walter, holding out his hand and smiling, hoping that he didn't look as awed as he felt.
"Hi, I'm Jesse. Jesse Cardoza," the other man said as Ryan took his hand. He immediately felt an electric shock go through him, as though the contact with Jesse had jolted something within him. It was hard to speak, hard to even remember his name.
"I'm Ryan Wolfe. Welcome aboard," Ryan managed to say before his voice deserted him. All he could focus on was the touch of Jesse's hand on his; he never wanted to loosen his grip, never wanted this handshake to end. If he could keep touching Jesse forever, then he'd be a happy man.
"Thanks," Jesse told him, giving Ryan the most devastating smile he'd ever seen. "Walter's been showing me around, getting me used to the layout of the lab. I think I'm going to enjoy working with you guys. It's an honor to be here -- you're the best lab team around."
"Good to know you're so enthusiastic about joining us," Ryan said with a soft laugh, wondering how he was managing to speak to such a gorgeous man without being completely tongue-tied. "A lot of people don't have such a good opinion of our team."
Reluctantly, he forced himself to let go of Jesse's hand, turning instead to Walter and trying to keep some air of professionalism about his words. "So, what are we working on today? Any new cases in that Horatio is sending us off to investigate?"
Walter shook his head, shrugging. "Not yet, but you can bet there'll be a new case to work on before too much longer. There always is. Until then, I guess we just keep doing what we always do -- work on the last case until there's a new one in our hot little hands."
Ryan nodded, though for the life of him, he couldn't remember what he'd been working on the day before. He couldn't remember anything that he'd been doing the day before. It was as though the sight of Jesse had driven everything that had come before him out of his mind.
Anything that had happened to him before Jesse seemed unimportant, fading away into the background. The only thing that mattered was the future -- and the hope that this man might be a part of it, as much more than just a work colleague and friend.
The trouble was that he had no idea how to go about asking Jesse if he could possibly feel the same. It wasn't like he could just come out and ask the other man if he was gay, or bi, or even interested in men in any way other than as friends. It was an awkward situation.
Besides, he would have to be alone with Jesse to ask him a question like that, even if he felt that he could be so upfront about it. How could he get any time alone with the other man, when it was very possible that the only time they would see each other was here at work?
Of course, they could always be assigned to a case in the field together -- and that would give him his chance to ask a few probing questions. Though if the truth be told, he would much rather have Jesse probing him -- in a very different way, Ryan thought wryly.
At that moment, Horatio entered the lab, with papers in his hand that obviously heralded a new case for them to work on. Ryan held his breath, hoping that he and Jesse would be the ones sent to the crime scene to gather evidence. That was exactly what he wanted.
He couldn't keep back a sigh of relief when Horatio handed him the papers, telling him to take Jesse with him to the crime scene. It seemed that for once, things were going exactly the way he wanted them to be. He would have some time alone with Jesse, even if they were working.
"Just give me a minute to get my kit, and then we can be on our way," Jesse told him with a smile. Ryan watched as the other man headed out of the room, obviously going to his desk. Ryan already had his kit with him; he'd been anticipating going out to a crime scene this morning.
He could feel his heart beating faster, anticipation rising within him. He tried to push that feeling down; he didn't want to get too far ahead of himself. He had no idea if Jesse would be interested in him; he shouldn't get his hopes up before he knew more about this man.
Anything that he'd wanted in the past had somehow faded into the woodwork; all he wanted now was for Jesse to be an intimate part of his life. It might be frowned upon for co-workers to date, but Calleigh and Delko had done it, he told himself. There was nothing to stop him and Jesse.
The only thing that would stand in his way was if Jesse wasn't into guys -- but somehow, Ryan had the feeling that he was. He just got that vibe from Jesse; he was fairly sure that the object of his affection might return his feelings in kind, once they'd had a chance to talk.
And if not .... well, then, he would have to settle for just being friends and work colleagues, and sighing after Jesse from afar. He hoped that it wouldn't come to that, though; he'd never wanted anyone in his life as badly as he wanted Jesse at this moment.
Suddenly, life seemed much more complicated than it had been only a few minutes ago when he'd been walking into the building to go to work. The day before had been so simple, when he hadn't wanted anything more in life than to sail through it with few complications.
The day before Jesse had come barreling into his life so unexpectedly, life hadn't held many challenges -- or many desires. Now, Ryan was in the grip of the fiercest desire he'd ever known -- and he could only hope that desire would be returned in kind.
"Ready to go?" he asked Jesse as the other man came back into the room carrying his kit. At Jesse's nod, Ryan gestured the elevator. "Then let's get out of here and go to work. If you've got any questions, I'll be more than happy to answer them, if I can."
"Than I hope I can come up with some good questions," Jesse told him, laughing softly as they walked to the elevator and he pressed the button to call it. When the doors opened, he entered first, then held the door for Ryan. Taking a deep breath, Ryan entered and watched the doors close.
There was no telling what this day would bring. The day before Jesse came into his life, everything had felt dull and dry - but today was anything but dull. And Ryan had a definite feeling that the day was going to get even more interesting once he and Jesse were alone.***
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