Title: Do You Hear Me?
By: Kuroi Neko-kun
Summary: His inner voice wants to speak out his feelings but his mind holds him back.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY. CBS does. The story belongs to me and CBS could use it all they want. Just credit me for it.
Warning: Slash. Yes, this time it's slash!
A/N: I guess I should stop listening to music altogether. I was listening to 'Do you hear me?' by Adema when the lines 'Do you hear me? Praying for you. I'm thinking of you...' came up, I kept thinking about Danny and Mac. Then this fic was born. And no, it's not a songfic. I find songfics irritating.

Say it. At the tip of my tongue, on my closed lips, are the words that I wish to say everyday as I passed by him, when he looks at me, when I work with him on cases. He was standing in the break room, taking a cup of coffee as I was draining mine. Say it. I held back. I can't just profess love to another man right in the middle of the CSI break room. This was a sensitive issue and it needed a balance of understanding and mutual feelings. I took my cup and was about to reach out for the coffee pot when he grabbed it.

"Here, let me do it," he said as he poured the coffee into my cup. Say it. No, I can't. He would bash me with the pot. "Sugar or cream, Danny?"

"What?" I asked, snapping out of my thoughts.

"Sugar or cream?" he repeated impatience mixing in his voice.

"Um… both," I said. He handed me the packets and gave me a half-smile.

"You're a bit jumpy, Danny," he noted. I know this is where I have to give a reason of some sort.

"I've been on coffee the whole night, boss," I said," Been working."

"The case you're working with Stella? I thought she closed the case."

"I was doing my report," I lied. The truth was I had stayed up because he was in his office, obviously feigning paperwork. I wanted to keep him company even though he would never notice that. Say it.

"Next time you want to do that, come up to the office. I could use someone to talk to," he said as he was about to leave the break room.

"Sure," I said, trying to sound casual about the whole deal. Deep inside, I was elated over the invite. I smiled as I cherished the coffee he had poured for me.

"It's very horrible," I heard Flack say as he covered his mouth and nose with a folded handkerchief. I was used to the smell and I knew the detective with have to deal with it too. I smirked.

"The smell or the body?"

"A bit of both. What's making it stink more than usual?" Flack asked, looking at me. I walked over to the body.

"Don't know. It's in a dumpster, it's decomposing, it's…" I saw a tail and something moving. I flashed my light, revealing the rats underneath it. "It's under a rat's nest."

"Well, this is interesting," Don said, smirking at me. I did all but throw the guy into the nest of rats for pointing out the obvious.

I winced as I applied the alcohol swabs on my wound. Today's case with the rats and the odor really stinks. I had got into the dumpster after animal control cleared the scene of the rats. Apparently they missed a couple when I got into the dumpster. Those two rats jumped on my leg and bit me hard. After Flack and the team got me out, I was sent to the hospital where my wounds were treated and I was injected to clear myself off rabies. I came back to work right after, making Flack swear that he never tells Mac what happened to me. The last thing I need was Mac being worried that I can't handle a dumpster case. So after spending time in the lab, I decided it was high time I showered again. And after that, apply the damn ointment for my rat bites. So I sat in the changing room and applied the ointment in nothing saved my towel when, lo and behold, Mac walked in. He looked at me, then at the wounds.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, slightly shocked.

"A whole lot of nothing," I muttered as I hid the ointment in my bag. Mac pulled a tactical maneuver on me using his Marine skills and pulled my leg up onto the bench I was sitting on. He crouched and studied it. I was in such a compromising position that if he turned his head to the right, he would have a full view of Mini Messer who was hardening fast at the sight of his object of desire. Shit. Mac, don't turn right. Take him. Oh no. Can't. No way.

"Rats," he said, looking at the wound," The dumpster case, I'm presuming." Presume all you want, Mac, just don't turn right or you will know how Tiny Danny feels about you. "Did you get a shot for it?"

"Yeah, they gave me one," I said in a strained voice. Damn. Mac looked at my face, completely missing the obvious. Take him.

"You okay?" No, I'm trying to keep myself from slamming you against a wall and kissing you senseless.

"My leg hurts," I said instead. Yeah, and my little companion aches. He allowed me to put my leg down but he grabbed the ointment from my hiding place. "Mac?" I looked at him curiously.

"Let me do it, Danny," he said as he crouched down again, his head exactly leveled at my crotch. Take him. No! I can't take him! This is too much! Mac, you're putting me on torture here!

"Mac," I said, my voice quivering," I don't think…" I felt him applying the ointment on my wounds. I had to restrain myself from shoving my dick into his mouth. "Mac, I have to move…" And take a cold, cold shower. Then think about this at home in a form of my fantasies.

"Don't, Dan." A few minutes later, he looked up at me and smiled. "There. Done." Either Mac is the blindest person in the world or the most oblivious. That or he's just plain ignorant. He got up and handed my ointment back.

"Um… thanks, boss."

"Anytime, Danny. Next time, tell me and don't make me barge into you like that," he said. What? You don't like it? Obviously, those questions were left unanswered as Mac left the locker room. After he did, I went to a sink and splashed my face with water.

I sat at my desk, looking through the evidence catalog I had to go through when I spotted him walking pass the room. Taking the opportunity (and listening to that damn voice in my head for once), I walked out the door and called for him. Mac looked at me with a curious expression.

"I thought you went home," he said.

"No, I was looking through the evidence log. Needed to make sure, you know?" I said, smirking at him. He looked at me and I noticed how tired he looks.

"You okay, Mac?" I asked, frowning," You look like you never had sleep for a few days." Mac gave a humorless smirk.

"When you notice, I know it's that bad," he said. I kept stoic. He hadn't been sleeping at all. Stella worries about that most of the time and notices more. I didn't and I'm in love with this man. How could I not notice?

"Why don't you clear up in the office and be down in fifteen. I'll drive you home." That escaped from my mouth before I could think about the consequences or the actions that it put forth. Now I just stared at Mac and hoped he'd turn me down. Instead, he shrugged.

"Okay," he accepted," As long as you pick me up in the morning, Messer."

"Sure." Oh gods, what did I get myself into?

I stopped the car at his apartment. He had moved since Claire died, to make it easier for him to deal with the pain of losing her. But he brought all the little memories with him. That I know, having to help him move and unpack. He asked me to help him do it. Only me. He didn't even ask Flack. It was strange but it was the one incident that started the chain reaction of falling in love with Mac Taylor.

"Well, here we are," Mac said before turning to me," Want to come in? Have a cuppa before you go?" Take it. Coffee in my boss's house? I should decline. I should…

"Uh…" I mumbled before words just took over me," Sure, Mac." Okay, what the hell is going on? I must be tired to not fight back. Not able to get myself out of this situation, I got out of the car.

His house never changed since the day I helped him move. Mac probably never lived in this house. He lives in CSI. That sounded right. I watched him as he walked into his kitchen. From there, he shouted to me to make myself at home. I took off my coat and sat on his couch. I took in the feel that it had. It breathed Mac. That I knew. As I enjoyed the feels of the home, Mac popped out from his kitchen and handed me a cup of coffee. I graciously accepted as he sat adjacent to me.

"How long have you not been here, Danny?" he asked.

"When you asked me to help you move," I said.

"Really?"

"Mac, most of our parties are either held at Aiden's, Stella's, my house or CSI. You barely go home so there is no point to invite me…" I said before correcting myself "…us over." Mac gave me a tight smile.

"True. Maybe I should come home often," he said in a tired voice," I used to have a reason to do that." Damn. Me and my big mouth. I triggered off a memory of Claire. Knowing this pattern, it'll cause a chain reaction of memories.

"Sorry," I mumbled. Mac shook his head.

"Maybe it's about time I made another reason to come home," he said. I looked curiously at Mac as he placed his coffee cup down and stared intently at me.

"Mac?" I said, my voice wavering," What—"I was cut off as Mac moved towards me and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes widened in complete surprise. Not because of the kiss but the fact that HE kissed ME. Before I could think another thought, I felt his tongue probing my mouth, asking me for entrance. I just gave in. I grabbed his waist, hauling him onto the couch, lips still together. We both kissed until he slowly pulled away, allowing the both of us to breathe. I readjusted my glasses before looking at Mac again, flustered.

"Okay," I said, cocking my head to one side," How long did you wait?" I felt his hand still on my waist. My own arm was around his neck. He was technically on top of me. He smirked.

"When you help me move, I started having feelings about you," he said, shyly," You looked hot in those shorts."

"Thanks, Mac," I said, reminding myself to make those shorts reappear in Mac's life soon.

"Stella found out about it. She's sharp. She told me that I have to confront you soon," he continued," I wasn't sure about it."

"Um… What made you… sure that I won't beat you up?" He gave me a humored look.

"Danny, why do you think I was in the locker room?" My eyes went wide the second time.

"You noticed?"

"I thought it was beautiful," he said, his eyes gleaming.

"But you never looked at it. Not even once. I was watching you," I pointed out.

"My eyes are faster than you think, Danny," he said, offering explanation.

"I'll take your word for it," I said, not wanting to debate any longer. Kiss him. Lick him. F—. Okay, okay! I got it! I don't need to be told what to do. I pulled him closer to me and kissed him again. I moved my mouth from his lips, trailing his cheek and nibbled at his ear. I planted kisses on his neck and took a breath of what Mac Taylor smelled like before I bit softly at his neck.

"Danny!" he moaned as I moved away from it, grinning at him. I left a mark.

"Looks like you're sporting a turtleneck, boss," I said before noticing he was not responding to me," Mac?" He was just staring at me before he kissed my forehead.

"I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too," I said before kissing his lips again. He sat up, pulling me up with him. "Mac, what's wrong?" I asked, now really concerned.

"It's just been awhile," he said," I want to take it where you would want to take this, Danny but… right now…"

"Hey, we can take this slow," I said, shrugging. It was really fine with me if Mac wanted to slow down a couple of notches. I placed my arms around his neck, inviting him to lean against my chest. He did and closed his eyes. I just watched him as he drifted to sleep. As soon as I knew he was asleep, I kissed his forehead. The voices in my head ceased to voice out anything anymore. I'm glad for that. Say it.

"I love you, Mac Taylor," I whispered. Maybe I should listen to myself once in awhile.

End