Title: Shattered Dreams
Author: Daisyangel
Pairing: Eric/Ryan/Speed
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with CSI Miami
Warning! Slash and a threesome if you don't like don't read! WIP
Summary: Eric walked in just in time to see Ryan slam his hand into his locker then begin to crumble.
Spoilers: Nailed and Fade Out
A/n in my universe Speed was shot and was forced to be lab bound so Ryan did come in and the three of them formed a close relationship and soon fell in love. I will probably do some back story on them but be patient, please.
A/n2 I know that Ryan may seem ooc but you have to understand that this is a very emotional experience and I know several people who have gone through this experience and I have helped them deal. I also know what it's like to be blind since I am so anything about blindness in this story is accurate.

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Ryan walked into the locker room in shock. He had just come from Doctor Medby's office. She had just told him that the infection that was previously trying to be cleared up with antibiotics had caused orbital cellulitis. She had put him on another antibiotic in the hopes that they had caught it in time. If not the next option would be surgery. If that didn't work Ryan would possibly lose his site. He couldn't forget the look of pity that came across Horatio's face when he had told him that he was off work until he saw Dr. Medby again.

"We are all here if you need us, Ryan," he had said. Ryan snapped out of his trance and walked over to his locker and began cleaning it out. He had just taken the final picture of him and his two lovers down and was about to close the locker when an irrational bout of anger coursed through him. He slammed the door then began repeatedly punching the locker hard enough to cut his hand. However he was too upset to notice. All he knew was the blinding anger that ran through him.

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Eric hurried down the hall towards the locker room. He had just been heading out when Horatio had called him into his office. Eric had called Speed and told him that he would be a bit late getting home. It was Speed's day off and the three of them were going to go out since they had all been working extra hard lately but that would have to wait a bit. He turned and headed back into Horatio's office.

"What do you need, H?"

"Come in and shut the door, Eric." Eric did as he was told getting increasingly nervous. He knew that if H wanted the door closed that whatever he needed to tell him was serious.

"Sit down, Eric." Eric did as he was told but had trouble sitting still because of his nerves. After Horatio had told him about Ryan's minor car accident and the doctors visit Eric sat their in shock.

"Is she sure, H?"

"Yes I just called her for her diagnosis after I talked to Ryan."

"Where is he now?"

"Most likely in the locker room." Horatio had barely finished his sentence when Eric jumped up and ran towards the locker room. The site that met his eyes made him momentarily stop in his tracks. Ryan was punching the locker and had several small cuts on his hands. Eric recovered quickly and ran over to the younger man and pulled him away from the locker. Ryan looked up at the loss of contact with the locker and the feeling of someone's arms around him. Eric's heart broke as he saw a myriad of emotions run across Ryan's face starting with anger and ending with sadness. Eric could tell that Ryan was fighting tears. Eric pulled him into his arms and held on tight.

"It's ok, Ry-Ry," Eric said soothingly using the name that he found out calmed Ryan down when he was extremely upset.

"I may lose my site!" Ryan said starting at a yell but ending on a sob and before he knew what was happening Ryan was sobbing uncontrollably and Eric was supporting all of his weight.

"SHH, it's ok we will get through this together," Eric whispered as he began to guide a still sobbing Ryan out of the locker room, grabbing some paper towels and trying to clean up Ryan's cuts as he went. Calleigh threw him a strange look as they passed.

"Delko?"

"Go talk to Horatio, and tell Alexx, would you? I need to get him home."

"Yeah but what's wrong?" Calleigh asked throwing a puzzled look at the young man sobbing and clinging to Eric as if his life depended on it.

"He just found out he may lose his site," Eric whispered." Calleigh gasped. "Ask Horatio for the details, ok Calleigh?"

"Yeah I will you guys call if you need anything, ok sweetie?" Eric just nodded as he headed down the hall towards the parking lot doing his best to shield Ryan and giving anyone who stared or made a comment a dirty look. Finally he got Ryan settled in the passenger seat of his hummer and headed towards the apartment. He decided that this wasn't something Speed should hear over the phone but in person.

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Speed was shocked and confused to see Eric practically supporting and carrying an exhausted and emotionally drained Ryan who still had tears running down his face but he wasn't sobbing anymore.

"Eric?"

"Give me a minute, Speed. Let me get him settled in bed then we will talk, ok?" Speed just nodded and followed Eric into their bedroom. As soon as Eric got Ryan into bed he attempted to let go but Ryan held on tight.

"Don't' leave me, please."

"It's ok Ry-Ry I'm right here I am just going to talk to Speed in the living room for a sec you get some sleep, ok babe?" If Speed was concerned before it had just tripled he and Eric only used Ryan's nickname when he was too upset to calm down any other way. Speed just wanted to know what the hell was wrong so they could work together to fix it.

"Ok just don't leave me."

"Never, I promise," Eric said as he leaned down and gave Ryan a tender kiss on the lips before standing up and heading for the door.

"Eric what the hell is going on?" Speed asked. Eric looked back at Ryan then jerked his head in the direction of the living room. Speed sighed in annoyance but complied and headed into the living room. Once they were both sitting on the couch Eric began to explain.

"It started when Horatio discovered that someone had turned Ryan's evidence into a lab tech instead of Ryan. He confronted Ryan about it and Ryan admitted that he was in a minor traffic accident. He's ok," Eric said hurriedly as he saw Speed open his mouth. "Well H said that he was off duty until he got his eye checked out so he went to Dr. Medby today and she said that the original infection that he had tried to cure with antibiotics had caused Orbital Cellulitis. So she put him on another antibiotic in the hopes that they had caught it in time."

"What if they didn't?"

"Surgery and if that doesn't work their is a chance he may lose his site." Eric's eyes filled with tears. Everything was finally hitting him. Speed leaned over and pulled him into his arms and they found comfort and solace in each other.

"We will get through this together," Speed whispered into Eric's hair."

"Yes we will now let's get some sleep I don't feel like going out just sleeping."

"I will fix dinner you get some sleep how did the rest of your day go?" Speed asked.

"Don't ask, a mob murder happened their were a couple of kids who were writing a screen play that depicted the murder perfectly. The guy who orchestrated the entire thing framed his partner and got away with it."

"Oh that sucks I'm sorry, babe."

"Yeah I was pissed."

"Go get some sleep and I will wake you both for dinner and we will talk to Ryan and reassure him that he isn't alone," Speed said as he pulled Eric in for a kiss.

"Ok I love you, Speed."

"I love you too Eric now go get some sleep," Speed said as he swatted Eric on his butt as he passed. Eric just turned and flashed him a small grin as he walked into their bedroom and crawled up behind Ryan pulling the younger man into his arms and soothing him back to sleep as he awoke because of the contact. Speed just smiled and headed off to make dinner for his two lovers and to digest everything he had just learned.

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Speed hated to wake up his two lovers. He was startled when he got closer to see the cuts on Ryan's hands. They had all stopped bleeding but needed to be cleaned. Eric opened his eyes when he felt someone watching him.

"Hey is dinner ready?"

"Yeah should we wake him?"

"Yeah let's see if he feels like eating," Eric replied as he gently shook Ryan's shoulder. Ryan turned and opened his eyes.

"MMM, what's going on?"

"You fell asleep do you feel like eating, babe?" Speed asked.

"Yeah I guess so," Ryan said. The three of them headed into the kitchen to eat dinner.

"Hey hold on a minute, Ryan," Eric said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What?"

"We need to clean up your hands and do you think either of them is broken?" Eric said.

"I don't think so but they really hurt," Ryan said.

"I bet they do," Speed said as Ryan walked over to the sink and with Eric's help cleaned the cuts. Speed was standing behind them with a glass of water and two Advil.

"Here take these, Ry."

"Thanks, Speed," Ryan said as he swallowed the pills then leaned up to give first Speed then Eric a kiss.

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Once they had finished dinner, Ryan got up to wash the dishes and Eric and Speed let him do it so he could keep his mind busy. Once he was done they all walked into the living room and sat down on the couch with Ryan in the middle and Eric and Speed on either side of him.

"We are always here for you; you know that, don't you?" Speed asked.

"Yes but I am scared what if I lose my site?" Ryan asked quietly.

"We deal with it and get through it together," Eric replied as he pulled Ryan and Speed into his arms and they sat their holding each other, content with the knowledge that they would support each other through everything. Finally after about an hour of just sitting their with the TV on in the background Ryan lifted his head and spoke.

"Promise me something?"

"Sure name it, Ry," Speed said. Eric just nodded and waited for Ryan to continue.

"If I lose my site don't treat me any different, please."

"We won't we will make you do all the dirty work just like we do now," Eric said with a smile. Ryan just glared and hit him on the arm. All though he appreciated Eric's attempt to lighten the mood. Just then Ryan let out a loud yawn. His face flushed with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, guys."

"It's ok just sleep we will be here," Eric said soothingly as he stroked Ryan's hair with one hand and had his other hand clasped with Speeds across the back of the couch behind Ryan's head. Speed and Eric spent the next couple of hours talking quietly so as not to wake up Ryan. Finally at about 10:00 Ryan sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep."

"Ryan Mathew Wolfe I don't want to hear you say sorry one more time!" Eric said with a glare.

"Ok, ok," Ryan said as he threw his hands up in surrender.

"Well I tell you what how about we all get to bed we all have work in the morn…" Speed stopped as he realized what he had just said and glanced at Ryan.

"H said that I could come and listen to everyone bounce case ideas off on me. He said something about taking courses to be a profiler so I can still work in the lab."

"That is awesome, I love you Ryan," Eric said as he leaned in for a kiss.

"I love you to," Speed said as he went behind Ryan and began to kiss his neck. Ryan's knees buckled as his lovers kissed up and down his body. He let out a whimper.

"I need you guys tonight."

"SHH just be patient, babe," Eric said as he knelt down and undid Ryan's pants and let them fall to the floor as he continued his assault and Speed's mouth and hands traveled down his back. Ryan whimpered and both guys got the hint. Eric took his cock into his mouth and deep throated him. Ryan would have fallen to the ground if it weren't for Speed's arms around him.

"I need you inside me, Speed," Ryan said breathlessly as Eric brought him closer and closer to his orgasm. Speed just nodded as he nibbled and licked on Ryan's neck as he coaxed them towards the bedroom. The rest of the night was spent with all of the guys reaffirming their love for one another.

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Alexx and Calleigh just sat in shock in front of Horatio's desk.

"If I had known what to look for I could have done something different," Alexx said softly.

"It's not your fault it's not anyone's fault, Alexx. Dr. Medby said that their was nothing you could have done," Horatio said soothingly.

"I hope he will be ok. What about work?" Calleigh asked.

"I told him that he can come in and have you guys bounce case ideas off on him. I also encouraged him to look into the courses to become a profiler so he can still work in the lab," Horatio explained.

"That sounds like a good idea. I think we should see if there is anything we can do," Alexx said. Horatio and Calleigh nodded. "Well I've got to get home to the kids you guys have a nice night and I will see you in the morning," Alexx said as she got up and headed out of the office. Horatio looked over at Calleigh and was surprised to see tears on her cheeks. Horatio got up and came around his desk and gathered her into his arms.

"It's ok, SHH its ok, Cal."

"It's not fair why can't Ryan just get a break. He doesn't deserve this," Calleigh said with a sniffle.

"I know that, sweetheart. He will be fine and we will all help him now if I recall we have a dinner and movie date at my place," Horatio said with a smile as he helped Calleigh up. Calleigh leaned up and gave him a little kiss on the cheek.

"Yes we do so let's go, Handsome."

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Eric and Speed were talking quietly while lying in bed with Ryan snuggled up between them sated and sleeping. All of a sudden the phone rang. Speed quickly grabbed it relieved to see that the noise hadn't woken Ryan.

"Hello?"

"Hey Timmy how are things going?"

"They are ok, Alexx. Ryan is sleeping and Eric and I are just talking."

"How is he really doing, sugar?"

"He's doing a bit better according to Eric he had a break down at the lab but he at least realizes that we are all here for him."

"Yeah Calleigh told me about it. Well I don't want to keep you up anymore but I will see all of you tomorrow and let him know that I am sorry for not doing more and that I am always here if he needs me."

"Alexx Woods! I am sure that he doesn't blame you now stop this nonsense," Speed replied forcefully in a loud whisper.

"I will try."

"That's all I ask," Tim replied.

"Now off to bed with you, young man."

"Yes ma'am good night, Mom."

"Good night Timmy," Alex said as she hung up and climbed into bed.

"How are the boys?" Denis asked with a soft smile as he referred to his three "kids" who had found a place in both of their hearts.

"They are doing as well as can be expected. Ryan has really been taking it hard naturally. If I had just looked sooner or just done something different he wouldn't be in this position," Alexx said as her eyes filled up with tears.

"Lexx, c'mon, sweetheart. Their is nothing you could have done differently you know that, don't you, Alexx?"

"But he's my baby I should be able to protect him and take care of him," Alexx said on a sob. Denis pulled her into his arms and began to stroke her hair with one hand and rub soothing circles on her back with the other one.

"You do take care of him, sweetie. You love him and look after him and you did what you thought was best. I am sure that he doesn't blame you, Alexx."

"I know that your right but I can't help feeling guilty."

"I understand but you know that Ryan wouldn't want you to."

"I know but it doesn't mean that will change how I feel," Alexx said as she tried to stop her tears.

"I know now lets get some sleep. I love you, Alexx. Good night, sweetheart," Denis said as he gave her a gentle kiss and pulled her close as her breathing began to even out as she drifted off to sleep with him close behind.

***

A month had gone by since the doctor's diagnosis. After his most recent checkup Ryan was told that the antibiotics weren't doing their job. He would have to have the surgery but there was no guarantee it would work.

"Will the results be instantaneous?" Speed asked as he placed a comforting hand on Ryan's knee.

"If we don't see a marked improvement with in the first couple of weeks after the surgery it doesn't look good," the doctor answered honestly.

"H-h-how fast will I go blind?" Ryan asked choking on the last word. Both of his lovers took a hand and squeezed it.

"It's hard to know how fast it will happen. It could take months it could happen faster. It's difficult to give you a particular time table.

"Are there signs to watch for?" Eric wanted to know.

"Some signs can occur such as squinting when trying to read, difficulty knowing how far in front of you something is. Lack of depth perception. Blurred vision and sometimes spots in your vision. It's important to remember that not all of these symptoms will happen to each individual," Dr. Medbey explained. The three men nodded in understanding.

"If there are no other questions I'll schedule the surgery for next Tuesday. Ryan, you need to report to the hospital at 7:30 sharp. I will keep you overnight for observation. Then you can go home. You'll come back to my office for a checkup two weeks following the surgery. Okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," Ryan mumbled.

"Do any of you have any questions?" Dr. Medbey asked. The men shook their heads.

"Well then I'll see you three next Tuesday," she said as she opened the door and guided them out of the room

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Eric sighed it was Monday evening. Ryan would be going in for surgery tomorrow morning. He was scared and he knew that both of his lovers were to. Speed just threw himself into work withdrawing into himself. Ryan just pretended to be "fine" but Eric could see the struggle he was going through.

"You okay, Ry?" Eric asked as they lay in bed that night.

"I'm fine," Ryan answered automatically.

Turning his face so he could look into Ryan's eyes, Speed said, "No your not. It's okay not to be fine. Talk to us, please?" Speed pleaded.

"We're always here for you, mi amor," Eric whispered as he placed a tender kiss on Ryan's lips. Eric pulled back only slightly surprised to taste tears on Ryan's face.

"Don't shut us out," Speed requested. Heaving a long sigh, Ryan reluctantly began.

"I'm scared, okay? What if the surgery isn't successful?" Ryan asked shakily.

"We learn how to cope with your blindness together," Eric told him.

"We find groups and people who are blind who can help us, and you understand what it's like to be blind, and how to get you back on your feet. The most important thing to remember is that we love you more than anything else in this world and we aren't ever and I mean ever giving up on you. None of the team is," Eric said.

"Eric's right none of us are ever giving up on you Ryan," Speed repeated.

"Someone is," Ryan admitted softly.

"

Who?" Speed asked.

"Me," Ryan replied as the tears he'd been fighting back spilled down his cheeks.

"I've tried so hard to be upbeat and optimistic about this, but I can't anymore," Ryan cried as he began to sob. Pulling Ryan into his arms Eric wrapped his arms around him tightly. Speed wrapped his arms around Ryan's front.

"Shh, Ry, it's okay for you to be scared. You don't always have to be strong. Why were you trying to be optimistic all the time?" Eric asked confused.

"For you two," Ryan mumbled softly.

"Why?" he asked even though he had a pretty good idea.

"Because I didn't want you guys to worry anymore than you already did. Especially you Eric," Ryan whispered.

"What was that?" Speed asked.

"I said especially Eric. I mean I know he feels guilty because he was running late so I had to take the call on my own," Ryan said. Speed nodded he could see where Ryan was coming from. He was at another scene and heard the call of an officer down over the radio. He knew that Eric had gotten to his and Ryan's scene moments after the nail gun had been shot into Ryan's eye.

"Ryan, look at me," Eric requested touching Ryan's cheek. Slowly Ryan turned tear-filled eyes to Eric. Reaching up with his right hand Eric cupped Ryan's cheek brushing his tears away with his thumb.

"Your right that I felt guilty when I got there and realized you had been hurt. If I'm being completely honest with myself I still feel guilty but I've realized that even though I wish I could change what happened that day I can't. Secondly as for trying to be strong to protect me, you don't need to do that," Eric said firmly. He gently kissed Ryan to soften the sting of his words. "You got me?" Eric asked.

"Yeah," Ryan replied. For the first time all night Ryan began to feel like he could let go and his lovers would catch him.

"I love you both," Ryan said as he kissed first Speed then Eric.

"We love you to," Eric said as both men returned his kiss. Speed moaned as Ryan teased his lips with his tongue, requesting entrance. Speed opened his mouth giving his youngest lover better access. Ryan purred in happiness as he moved closer to Speed intertwining his fingers in the other man's hair. When oxygen became a necessity Ryan pulled back to breathe. Then he moved back in and trailed his tongue and teeth down Speed's neck.

"MMM, yes," Speed moaned as Ryan sucked then bit down on his pulse point. A moan from Eric drew the attention of the other two men. Eric was slowly stroking himself.

"What's the matter Eric?" Ryan asked in a throaty voice as he licked from Speeds jaw line to his collar bone then bit down gently, claiming him.

"You two are so fuckin hot. Do you have any idea just how hot you are?" Eric asked as his eyes began to glaze over. Giving him a smile Ryan reached over and swatted his hand away from his hardening cock.

"That's mine," he said. He began stroking it just like he knew Eric liked. While Ryan was otherwise occupied Speed began kissing and nibbling at his neck.

"Oh yes, Speed," Ryan moaned. During all this Eric noticed that Ryan was getting hard. Without a word he wrapped his hand around Ryan's straining erection.

"Oh god yes Eric!" Ryan shouted as he felt Eric's fingers begin to move up and down his cock sliding over the head and dipping into the slit just to drive him crazy. Ryan's hand sped up on Eric's cock at the sensations he was feeling from the other two men. Deciding he needed to taste at least one of them he leaned down causing Speed to release the ear he was circling with his tongue.

"Hey I wasn't done wit-," Speed broke off as Ryan took him into his mouth and began bobbing up and down. Reaching out with one hand Speed held Ryan's head in place with the other hand he began rubbing and pinching
Ryan's nipples. Ryan's body was on sensory overload he didn't know which motion to move to. Should he arch into the touch and holy shit now the licking of Speed's tongue on his chest or should he arch into Eric's hand.

"Speed... Eric..." Ryan whimpered.

"Hmm?" Eric murmured as he twisted his hand as he reached the head of Ryan's cock.

"D-d-don't stop," Ryan moaned.

"Tell us what you want," Eric commanded.

"Huh?" Ryan mumbled he was slowly going crazy with sensation. Realizing he'd stopped licking Speed's cock he took him back into his mouth completely and licked from base to tip.

"Fuck!" Speed shouted as he arched off the bed.

"What do you want us to do to you?" Eric asked in a husky whisper before claiming Ryan's mouth for a toe-curling kiss, moaning into it as Ryan slid his fingers over the slit and dipped one finger into it.

"I want Eric to fuck me as Speed fucks him," Ryan moaned at the image.

"You want me to fuck you hmm?" Eric asked as he shifted position so he could lick up and down Ryan's cock.

"MMM- yes!" Ryan cried.

"MMM, he tastes so good you want a taste, Speed?" Eric asked him in a husky whisper.

"Yeah," Speed replied as he shifted painfully closer to Eric due to his raging hard on. Eric pulled him in for a passionate kiss. His arms slid around Speed's neck while Speed's fingers went into Eric's hair. Speed pulled back, licking his lips.

"Your right he does taste very good but I think I need to experience the taste completely not just second hand, don't you Eric?" Speed asked with a glint in his eyes as he leaned down and gently blew on Ryan's cock.

"Oooooo," Ryan moaned.

"I agree and I think he does to," Eric replied with hooded eyes as he felt his desire swell even further.

"Okay," Speed said as he leaned down and licked and sucked Ryan's cock from base to tip. Then he swirled his tongue around the head before dipping it into the slit.

"Fuck! Oh fuck!" Ryan shouted as he arched into Speed's mouth.

"Speed," Eric called. Speed looked up at him with his eyes, while his mouth still continued to send spikes of pleasure down Ryan's spine.

"Hmm?" he mumbled knowing the vibrations of his voice would drive Ryan wild. Ryan gripped the sheets and panted desperately as he thrust into Speeds mouth, begging for more.

"Ryan wanted something from us," Eric prompted.

"Oh yeah what do you want again Ry?" Speed asked as he reluctantly lifted his mouth from Ryan's cock for a moment to ask the question before diving back in.

"I w-w-want Eric to fuck me while you fuck him Speed. Oh god yes," Ryan moaned.

"Your wish is our command," Speed said as he released Ryan's cock with a slight pop. Eric grabbed the lube and two condoms.

"Ryan, get on your hands and knees," Eric instructed. Nodding Ryan did so. Speed grabbed a pillow to slide under Ryan's hips. Eric smiled at his lover all stretched out and waiting for him. He squeezed some lube on to his fingers and slid one finger into Ryan's tight passage. Ryan moaned at the contact and thrust back. Once he was convinced he was stretched enough with one finger Eric slipped another then another finger into Ryan's ass. He began to scissor them looking for that one spot. Ryan jerked off the bed and began to shake as his prostate was hit. Eric did it a couple more times just to drive Ryan to distraction. All of a sudden Eric felt something at his entrance. He realized that he was in the perfect position for Speed to prepare him.

"Oh you're so tight and hot," Speed whispered in his ear. Eric cried out as he thrust back on to the fingers Speed had inside him.

"Oh shit yes!" Eric shouted as Speeds fingers brushed his prostate. Just like Eric had done to Ryan Speed hit it a few more times until Eric was begging.

"I need you inside me now, Speed. Please?" Eric begged.

"I need you inside me now to, Eric," Ryan moaned as he thrust up to meet Eric's fingers. Speed and Eric pulled their fingers out of Ryan and Eric simultaneously. A whimper of protest came from the two men until they each felt the tip of a cock pushing against their entrance. All three of them moaned as sensations ripped through them.

"Your so fuckin tight and sweet," Eric ground out as he thrust into Ryan. Ryan moaned as he thrust back just as hard.

"Oh god, do you two have any idea how fuckin hot you are with Eric fucking you and you jacking yourself off?" Speed asked as he pounded into Eric. A long loud moan came from all three men. Leaning forward Ryan slid his fingers across Eric's lips. Eric sucked Ryan's fingers into his mouth, tasting him. Speed whimpered.

"What's wrong Speed?" Ryan asked coyly. With a growl Speed grabbed for Ryan's fingers and sucked them into his mouth as well.

"MMM, so good," he moaned as he began to thrust harder into Eric causing Eric to do the same to Ryan. Eric knew that none of them would last long and they wanted Ryan to come first. Reaching over Eric added his hand to Ryan's on Ryan's hard cock.

"Mind if I join you two?" Speed asked giving them a lascivious look. Both men shook their heads so Speed added his hand to the two already on Ryan's cock pumping furiously. Ryan was shaking from all the sensations. Eric angled so he would hit Ryan's prostate on the next thrust.

"Come for us," Eric requested as he thrust hard into Ryan hitting his prostate. Ryan came with a shout, screaming their names. As Ryan's tight channel closed around his straining cock Eric thrust twice more before blowing his load.

"Fuck yeeeeeees!" Eric shouted. Speed panted as he thrust harder and harder.

"Eric... Eric... Eric..." He chanted nearing his climax.

"Eriiiiiiiiiiic! I'm coming! Oh fuck!" Speed cried as he came. The three of them collapsed on top of each other with Eric in the middle. After a moment Eric gently pulled out of Ryan and Speed pulled out of Eric. Realizing he was the closest to the bathroom, Ryan got up and came back with a wet wash cloth to clean the three of them up.

"I love you Ryan, I love you, Speed," Eric mumbled his eyes almost completely closed and on the edge of sleep.

"We love you to," Ryan said as he tossed the cloth into the hamper and climbed into the bed kissing each of his lovers and throwing a leg across both of them while snuggling against Eric's chest. Speed smiled as he pulled Eric back against him. He brushed his hand against Eric's hip before stretching his arm so he could touch Ryan as well.

"'Night'," Speed whispered.

"Night," Eric and Ryan replied in unison. Ryan listened to his two lovers drift off to sleep. Taking a deep breath he let it out. He may not always have his sight, but he knew he would always have the two men in the bed and that was all he needed.

Watching Speed pace in circles was wearing on Eric's nerves. Ryan had gone into surgery about 45 minutes ago and Speed hadn't sat down since they'd kissed Ryan goodbye and walked into the waiting room. He knew that Speed was scared, hell Eric would be lying if he said he wasn't scared but he recognized that wearing a groove in the floor wouldn't do any good.

"Damn it, Speed, sit down, will ya? You're making me dizzy," Eric protested.

"I can't sit right now," the New Yorker argued.

"C'mon Tim, you can sit down. I'm doing it, see?" Eric asked pointing to himself.

"Maybe you can sit their calmly and read a magazine while our lover is having eye surgery that may or may not restore his sight but I can't! So I'm sorry if that bothers you!" Tim shouted. Spinning on his heels Speed stormed from the room leaving a shocked Eric in his wake.

Horatio, Alexx, and Calleigh stopped in their tracks as they reached the waiting room with the cups of coffee they had procured when they saw the argument playing out in front of them. Alexx and Calleigh moved quickly to the side to keep from being knocked over by an angry Speed.

"Divide and conquer?" Calleigh asked a hint of a smile crossing her face.

"We'll take Speed you take Eric?" Alexx suggested.

"Sure, just get him back here, okay? They need each other no matter how tough and how big of a jackass Speed acts like he knows how much they need each other," Calleigh commented.

"We'll bring him back, you go take care of Eric," Horatio said as he took Alexx's arm and headed in the direction his trace expert had gone. Calleigh sighed as she headed into the waiting room two cups of coffee in her hands. She sank into the seat next to Eric and held out one of the cups.

"Thanks," he mumbled not looking at her.

"Your welcome, sweetie. So what happened?"

"I don't know, Speed was pacing in a never-ending circle and it was driving me crazy. I begged him to sit down and he argued that he couldn't. I teased him that it wasn't a hard thing to do and he turned on me and all but accused me of not being bothered about the fact that Ryan's in surgery that may or may not restore his sight," Eric explained.

"He's just worried and scared," Calleigh defended.

"I know, I am to, but did he have to accuse me of not caring?" Eric asked. He cursed the fact that his voice cracked with emotion. Taking the untouched cup of coffee from Eric's hands and setting it along with hers on the table she gathered her friend into a hug.

"You know how Tim is when he's stressed. He's easily irritated and has a tendency to snap without him meaning to. You know he loves you and Ryan and that you're his world," Calleigh reminded.

"Yeah I know, but it still hurts," Eric whispered. Calleigh could hear the barely suppressed tears in Eric's voice.

"I know it does, sweetheart."

"I'm just as scared as he is but I've gotta keep it together for him and Ry. Ryan's totally freaked out, and justifiably so. Speed's stoic as always," Eric broke off.

"And what are you?" Calleigh questioned.

"Scared, angry, and guilty," Eric admitted.

"I get scared, but why angry and guilty?" the blonde wondered.

"I'm angry because he got shot in the eye with a damn nail gun to begin with. I'm guilty because it was supposed to be my scene. I was supposed to be their but I was late again and it may have cost my lover his sight. It's my fault if Ryan goes blind!" Eric cried as the tight grip he had on his control snapped and tears flooded his eyes and ran unchecked down his cheeks. The ballistics expert could feel her heart breaking. She began rocking back and forth whispering nonsense in Eric's ear trying to calm him down. She was so focused on her task that she didn't realize someone else was in the room until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Jumping slightly Calleigh jerked her head up and found herself staring into Speed's soulful brown eyes.

"Hey mind if I take over now?" Speed softly asked.

"Sure not a problem, just remember he's just as scared as you are, okay?" Calleigh told him.

"I know, thanks for talking to him, Cal," he thanked her.

"It was no problem I'm sure Ryan will be out of surgery in no time. I'm going to leave you two alone for a bit. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," Eric said as he sniffled. Giving both men a hug she hurried for the hall where Alexx and Horatio were. Taking the seat Calleigh had previously been sitting in Speed reached out and pulled his lover into his arms and placed a kiss on the top of his head and just held him.

"I'm sorry," Speed apologized.

"Me, to," Eric replied. "Alexx and H knock some sense into you?" Eric asked cheekily.

"Yeah," Speed reluctantly admitted.

The two "parents" of the team caught up with Speed outside the hospital. He was pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

"Drop it," Alexx demanded. Jumping, Speed did what he was told.

"Uh... hi?" he questioned.

"I thought you quit?" Alexx wanted to know.

"I did, but..." Speed broke off.

"What was that all about back there?" Horatio asked.

"Nothing," Speed answered shortly.

"Tim," Horatio said.

"I lost my temper and I didn't mean to. I know that Eric was trying to help but how can he just sit their and read a magazine as if we're not their for a life changing surgery?" Speed argued.

"Do you really think he was reading the magazine or that it was just a form of distraction for him?" Alexx asked.

"A distraction," Speed admitted.

"Exactly," Alexx said.

"I have some apologizing to do, don't I?" Speed questioned.

"Yes, you do. Here's some coffee to drink to help you do that," Horatio said handing him a cup.

"Thanks, I should go talk to him. Thanks for giving me a kick in the ass, I guess I needed it," Speed said ruefully.

"That's what we're here for," Alexx commented as she pulled him in for a hug. Speed smiled as he turned and headed for the door that would lead him back to his lover. Horatio and Alexx followed slightly behind him. Speed reached the waiting room just in time to hear Eric's declaration that it was his fault if Ryan went blind and to see him completely fall apart. Moving quickly he reached Calleigh and after assuring her he knew that Eric was just as scared as he was he took her place beside his lover and began comforting him.

"You realize this isn't your fault, don't you?" Speed asked after a bit of silence.

"But..." Eric argued.

"Eric, look at me," Speed demanded. Slowly Eric lifted his eyes to meet Speed's.

"Even if you'd made it to the scene on time there's no way you could have stopped Ryan getting shot in the eye. If it hadn't been Ryan it would have been you and I would be sitting here trying to convince Ryan that it's not his fault that you may go blind. You understand me?" Speed asked gently.

"Yeah, I guess," Eric said.

"Good, I love you Eric," Speed said as he leaned in and placed a tender kiss on Eric's lips.

"Love you to," Eric replied, returning the kiss. Just then Dr. Medbey walked into the waiting room. Noticing the others hovering in the hall Speed motioned them in.

"How's Ryan?" Eric asked.

"He's okay, a bit out of it, but okay," she answered.

"Is there anyway to know how the surgery went?" Alexx questioned.

"No, it's too early to tell, but I'll be honest with you as much as I want to be optimistic about this I'm not sure. Best case scenario is that he maintains good vision in one eye, but we need to wait a couple of weeks before we know that," she informed the group.

"Does Ry know this?" Speed asked.

"Yes he does," the doctor said.

"Can we see him?" Eric requested.

"Sure he's in the third room on the left. I'll be back to check on him later. Ryan will be discharged sometime tomorrow morning," she said.

"Thank you," Eric said as he and Speed made their way to Ryan's room.

"We'll come in a little bit," Calleigh called after them. Speed raised a hand to acknowledge that he'd heard what she'd said. When they reached the door Eric gently knocked on it.

"Come in," came a sleepy voice.

Speed opened the door and the two of them walked in. Ryan was lying in the hospital bed with an IV in one arm and a nasal canula to help him breathe. Eric's heart sped up when he saw the nasal canula. The nurse who was taking Ryan's vitals noticed his anxious look and was quick to reassure him.

"Its standard procedure after a patient has been under anesthesia. We like to give them a bit of help breathing until the anesthesia is mostly out of their system."

"Oh, okay," Eric said relieved.

"Hey there, Ry, how you feeling?" Speed asked softly.

"Okay, I guess, really sleepy," he admitted.

"That's normal; all of your vitals look good Mr. Wolfe. I'll be back later to check on you," the nurse said.

"Thanks, Shelby," Ryan said. After giving the other two men a smile she quietly exited the room closing the door behind her. Moving over to their lover Speed and Eric each took a hand.

"Glad to see you awake, Ry," Eric told him.

"Yeah," Speed agreed.

"Where's the rest of the team?" Ryan wondered.

"In the waiting room they wanted to give us sometime with you alone Speed answered. Speed and Ryan chatted for a few minutes about nothing in particular when Ryan realized that Eric wasn't contributing to the conversation. He had a good idea what the problem was but he wasn't sure. Squeezing Speed's hand he jerked his head in Eric's direction. Recognizing what Ryan was requesting Speed stood up.

"I'm gonna go let the rest of the team know your doing okay. Is that alright with you Ryan?" he asked.

"Sure that's fine," Ryan said. After kissing Ryan's temple Speed made his way out the door and headed back to the rest of the team.

"How's he doing?" Calleigh questioned when she saw Speed come around the corner.

"He's okay, really out of it, but okay," he informed them.

"Where's Eric?" Horatio wanted to know.

"Ryan's talking to him. Hopefully knocking some sense into that thick skull of his that none of this is his fault," Speed said.

"If anyone can, Ryan can, he's the only one I think Eric will listen to when it comes to this. He's the one who Eric thinks blames him even though Ryan doesn't," Alexx commented. The others nodded in agreement as they settled into seats in the waiting room to await Eric.

Once the door was closed Ryan spoke.

"It's not your fault."

"Huh?" Eric asked.

"Don't play dumb with me, I may be blind soon but not dumb," Ryan said.

"Don't joke about that!" Eric snapped.

"If I don't joke about it, I freak out and have a panic attack," Ryan argued. Eric sighed he knew Ryan was right but he didn't have to like it. "But stop changing the subject it's not your fault."

"But I was-"Eric broke off when Ryan held up a hand.

"Yes you were late so I got their before you, but it could have just as easily been the other way around. We don't know what would have happened if you got their on time. The only person who is at fault here is the one who shot the nail gun. Not you, not me, not anyone else, you got me?" Ryan questioned. After taking in what Ryan had just said Eric realized he was right.

"I do, it's just hard not to feel guilty," Eric explained.

"I know it is," Ryan said softly.

"I love you so much, Ryan," Eric said, kissing him.

"I love you to," Ryan said through a yawn. Eric moved as if to stand.

"Were you goin?" Ryan mumbled.

"Leaving so you can get some rest," Eric told him.

"No, stay, please? Tell Speed the rest of the team can come in will you?" Ryan requested.

"Okay, but only if you close your eyes and rest," Eric bargained.

"Deal," Ryan agreed as he closed his eyes and let himself be pulled under.

***