Title: Not Everything is as Easy as it Sounds
Author: Kacey
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Pairing: Eric/Ryan
Summary: Ryan has to decide what's best -- for himself and everyone else.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. CBS and their creators do. Just borrowing them for fun.
Fic Prompt: # 24: Choices
Warnings: Inspired by the table on AU100, I think. Anyway, on some lj, I don't remember which one. I've created an AU based on the characters in CSI: Miami and the premises of the show. Also totally inspired by the Sylum Clan, not that this contains vampires, because I assure you, it does not. I do not own these characters, their creators and producers, CBS, etc. do. Each story will be part of this AU. The overall rating is FRMA or NC-17, but not all stories will be rated that. In this AU, Ryan is not a cop or CSI. And Speed is alive. The main pairings are Eric/Ryan, Horatio/Speed and anyone else I might add in. Some stories might be crossovers, I'll try to give warnings for each story.***
Late Season Two...Two Weeks Later
Ryan shifted and hissed as agony ripped through his wounds. Cursing under his breath, he tried to shift again, but gave up when it only caused further pain. Laughter from the doorway made him look up. Rolling his eyes at Eric's amused expression, Ryan hostilely asked, "What?"
Shaking his head, Eric turned around and walked off, going back to keep an eye on their children. Ryan was not in a good mood. Not that Eric blamed him. It would suck to be stuck in bed until a doctor had okayed getting out of said bed. Ryan was not allowed to perform any strenuous activities until his physical therapist said he could. She came by the house three times a week and worked with him. For someone who was used to being really active and doing whatever he wanted, Ryan was chafing under the restrictions placed upon him. It didn't help that Eric had taken over his guest bedroom, or that Clorinda was over everyday. He was grateful for the help, he really was, but he had to figure things out, and that was really hard to do with Eric always right there, and his mother shoving them together at every turn.
They had yet to talk about that kiss. The one time Eric had tried to bring it up, Ryan had flatly cut him off and told him not now. Instead, both of them spent every waking moment thinking about it. Knowing he would have to talk to Eric eventually, although he really would prefer never, Ryan sighed heavily and let his mind wander back to the question that had been plaguing him since Eric had kissed him. Why?
Why had Eric kissed him? What did he want? And was he willing to give whatever he wanted to him? Closing his eyes in order to be able to concentrate and think better, Ryan thought about his marriage with Adriana and what a mistake that had been. Although said mistake had gotten him his children, so some good things had come out of it. That thought made him pause.
Is that what Eric wanted? A home and family? A marriage? Because he didn't know about Eric, but he didn't do casual sex. Call it what you will, but he didn't believe in random sexual encounters. The one time he'd had one, it had left him feeling so dirty and used that he'd never bothered again. Maybe he was just old-fashioned that way. While he yearned for a marriage like his grandparents', he wasn't going to hold his breath waiting. Very few people nowadays made their marriages work. More than fifty percent of marriages ended in divorce. Ryan had never wanted to be a statistic, but that's exactly what his marriage had been.
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He must have slipped into sleep while thinking about the Eric situation because the next thing he knew, Ryan heard his two children whispering, well what they thought was whispering, to each other across his bed. Listening in for a few minutes, he waited until they had left before he opened his eyes. Determined to talk to Eric tonight, Ryan slowly sat up, eventually getting up off of the bed.
At a snail's crawl, Ryan walked down the hallway towards the kitchen, stopping several times along the way in order rest momentarily and to keep the pain from becoming unmanageable. Leaning against the wall outside the kitchen, he peeked around the corner and noticed Clorinda cleaning up after the supper they'd consumed. She'd be in soon to bring him something.
Sighing quietly, Ryan continued on down the hallway towards the living room. He was pretty sure he would find his children and their other father in there, working on learning Spanish, something he had not even thought about teaching them. They were still learning, but knew most of his native language, Italian, though he had yet to work on reading and writing Italian with them, as they were both still working on English, and now Spanish.
Smiling at the sight of three dark heads bent together over the coffee table, Ryan leaned against the doorway to catch his breath and to stop the aches and pains movement caused. They were working on reading and writing today, instead of speaking. Finally, Eric said, "It's just about time for bed. Why don't you go say goodnight to Ryan and then get ready for bed?"
"Do you think Daddy will be awake tonight, Poppa?" Des asked.
Before Eric could answer, Ryan did. "I am awake, baby. Why don't we go get both of you ready for bed?"
"Daddy!" she cried out, jumping up and running over to him. Stopping right in front of him, she suspiciously inquired, "Did Grams say you could leave your bed?"
Trying to hide both his smile and laughter, Ryan choked out, "No, she didn't. I didn't realize I needed her permission."
"Well, Grams says that you're not supposed to be walking on your own," Des explained. "Doesn't that mean you need permission?"
"Yes, it does, Des," Clorinda answered from behind them, her voice and expression clearly showing her unhappiness with Ryan. "What are you doing out of bed, young man?"
"I just came to say good night to my children," Ryan muttered defensively, not mentioning the real reason, knowing she would push the two of them together anyway.
Clorinda had decided that Ryan would be good for her son and that she was going to help get them together, no matter what Ryan wanted, especially since her son had shown an interest. She knew it made Ryan uncomfortable, but that was life. Until he decided one way or another, she was going to do what she thought best. Aside from that, Ryan's own grandmother thought Eric would be good for Ryan, as well, draw him out of his shell and make him happy.
Holding out her hands, Clorinda smiled and ordered in that don't-mess-with-me-I'm-a-mom voice, "Let's go get ready for bed. We'll come back to say good night."
Both children ran over to her and took her hands. She led them down the hallway and to their rooms. Ryan sighed heavily and looked over at Eric. Rolling his eyes at the amused look on Eric's face, he slowly made his way over to the couch and carefully sat down, wincing slightly at the pull on his abdominal muscles. Eric sat down on the chair across from him.
"What are you really doing up?" he quietly asked.
"We need to talk."
"Really? You think?"
"Eric."
"All right, all right. After Momma puts the kids to bed."
Nodding his head in agreement, Ryan relaxed back into the couch, pulling his feet up underneath him, once again wincing at the pull in his abdomen. Eric smirked at him and chided, "If you'd only do what your physical therapists suggests, you might not hurt as much."
"Shut up, Eric."
Snickering to himself, Eric nonetheless did as Ryan directed. They both waited for their children to come back and say good night, Eric much more patiently than Ryan, who kept fidgeting and wriggling around. Trying to hide his amusement at Ryan's nervousness, Eric stood up and busied himself with cleaning up the mess he'd made trying to teach both children Spanish. By the time he had everything neatly stacked and placed on the table in the corner, Clorinda had returned with both children.
Gravitating to their father, he allowed both of them to climb on his lap, somehow managing to hide his wince of pain from them. After several minutes of reassurances and hugs, they both ran over to Eric, hugged him and ran to their rooms. Clorinda left then, locking the door behind her. Blinking slightly in surprise, Eric asked, "What was that?"
"I promised them I would read to them tomorrow night," Ryan answered, "if they went to bed and straight to sleep."
"And you believe they will?"
"They might. They're not very good at minding," Ryan admitted.
"That's because you don't tell them no and mean it," Eric laughed.
"And you do?"
"Nope, but then again, they are your discipline problem, not mine."
"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up."
"Of course, I will. Speed laughs at me. I figure it's only fair that I can laugh at you."
Falling quiet, they simply sat there, neither one not quiet sure what to say or how to start this conversation. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Eric asked, "So, what did you want to talk about?"
Sighing to himself, Ryan blurted out, "What do you want?"
"I assume you're talking about that kiss now."
When all Ryan did was look at him, Eric sat up straight and honestly answered, "I want this. I want a family. I want a place to come home to. I want more children. I want to walk through that front door after work and know that my family is waiting for me. I want everything. And I want you. I want all of that with you."
Eric let Ryan think over his words, not rushing him into anything, at least not yet. They could get to that later, when Ryan's body could handle the stress. Finally, he exhaled slowly and asked, "Are you sure, Eric? Because I can't take the risk that you'll change your mind later, not with the kids and not with my heart."
"I'm very sure," Eric immediately replied, no hesitation or doubt in his voice.
Nodding his head, Ryan responded, "We'll have to figure something out, get to know each other much better...And I don't mean physically, Eric."
"That'll come in time."
Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Ryan very carefully stood up to leave. Raising his brow in surprise, Eric inquired, "That's it?"
"What else did you expect, Eric? You already know just about everything in my life I need to warn you about."
Thinking over that statement, Eric agreed, "True."
Standing up, he walked over to Ryan and stated, "Let's get you to bed. We'll discuss this more later."
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Two years later
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Carefully laying Alex in her crib, Eric turned and watched as his lover changed Diego's diaper, quietly talking to him the whole time, making Diego gurgle happily. Smiling, he left to get his other two children ready for bed. They were getting up early in the morning to go stay for the rest of the week at his sister's house.
Ryan came in Des's room several minutes later, taking over from Eric and reading to both of them, letting them drag him down on the bed in between them. Eric sat in the rocking chair in the corner, watching them. When they were both asleep an hour later, he carried Tony to his bed, knowing Ryan would be waiting for him in their room.
Making sure all four of their children were asleep and okay, Eric walked into their bedroom, not surprised to hear the shower going. Shutting the door behind him, Eric slipped into the bathroom, stripping and tossing his clothes in the hamper. Opening and then closing the shower door, he pulled Ryan back against him, stepping under the water at the same time.
Relaxing back against Eric, Ryan asked, "Are they okay?"
"Yes, love, they're fine."
"Good," Ryan sighed out. "Today was draining. I'm glad Alex finally fell asleep."
"Me, too. And, yes, today was draining. Good thing I have tomorrow off and can come back home and sleep in with you after dropping Tony and Des off at Juanita's."
Turning around in Eric's arms, Ryan smiled and replied, "Yes, it is. Much as I love our children, it will be nice to spend some time with you."
"I've missed you, you know."
"And you think I haven't?"
"No, I know you have. I just thought we'd see more of each other with you at home."
"I did, too."
"That shows us how much we know."
"Yes, doesn't it?...Let's go to bed, Eric, before one of the kids wakes up."
"That's the best suggestion you've made all day, love."***
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