Title: The Everlasting
By: Serenity
Sequel to Because I Want You, following on where it left off. (Read that story first). Beta'd by anmani
Characters: Nick, Greg
Genres: angst, romance, drama
Rating: NC17
Warnings: none

Greg sat on the bench in the locker room, pulling on his sneakers and throwing his work shoes into his bag. He leaned down and tied his shoelaces then stood up and stretched his arms above his head, yawning loudly. He had just finished his shift and was getting ready to leave for home.

He hadn't seen Nick around for the past few hours so he threw his bag in his locker for safe-keeping and grabbed his jacket. He took a chance and headed down towards the labs, hoping to find him there and tell him he was leaving. They had been on different cases and Greg had wrapped his up already.

He poked his head through the door of one of the labs and grinned to himself when he saw his boyfriend standing bent over a microscope, looking at a sample. He allowed himself a few moments to ogle the firm ass clad in tight black denim, enjoying the way the fabric stretched over the muscular cheeks, before he finally made his presence known.

"Trapped in the lab when everyone else is going home." he joked, coming into the room. "Know that feeling."

Nick looked up and returned the grin. "Got a lead on my rape case, want to see if it pans out before the trail goes cold. I found some fibres on her underwear and I‘m trying to match them to something."

"You want me to stick around, give you a hand? I wouldn‘t mind, I‘ve already wrapped my case." Greg asked, coming over to look at the notes which Nick had written and left sitting beside the microscope. He stood behind Nick and read the file over his shoulder, just a little too close for comfort for the Texan.

Nick couldn't resist taking a deep breath in and inhaling the subtle scent of the other man, a scent which always went straight to his groin.

He came to his senses just in time and reached across to flip the file closed, turning his head to look over his shoulder. Greg‘s mouth was so close, and his lips tingled with the urge to kiss him. He had to remind himself that they were in the lab where anyone could walk past and see them.

"I'd like to be able to concentrate on what I'm doing, and I'm not going to be able to when you smell so good." he moaned, his voice thick and accent heavy. "Got to be professional at work, remember? Go home and I'll come over when I'm done."

"Make sure you do." Greg breathed into his ear, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Nick shivered and turned to watch Greg leave the room. Greg looked back and caught him staring, and so he wiggled his ass a little as he walked away, laughing. Nick cleared his throat and went back to his work, his cheeks flushed and palms sweaty beneath his latex gloves.

After two frustrating hours of searching through fabric samples, Nick realised he'd gotten as far as he could with his case for one day and decided to head home to shower and change before going to Greg's apartment. After putting on fresh clothes and making a quick snack of toast which he ate as he checked his mail, he got back into his SUV and drove towards Greg's place. He pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of the vehicle, buzzing the intercom with his usual two short bursts and then one long one to let Greg know that it was him.

He came up in the elevator, as he was now able to do without any panic attacks, and walked slowly along the corridor, yawning and stretching as he arrived outside Greg's door. He tapped on it with one knuckle and then opened it without waiting for a further invitation, knowing that Greg would have left it off the latch for him.

They had got to the stage in their relationship where they could walk into each other's homes unannounced if they wanted to, but keys had not yet been exchanged. Nick fingered the small silver house key in his jacket pocket, feeling the cool, sharp edges against his skin. He'd had it cut the week before and was trying to find the right time to give it to Greg. He didn't want to make a big deal of it, it was only a key after all, but it seemed that the longer he put it off, the harder it was getting just to give him the damn thing.

Greg appeared from the bedroom when he heard the door opening and threw his arms around Nick, pulling him close and landing a long, wet kiss on his lips. "Missed you." he moaned, rubbing up against him. Nick inhaled the wonderful scent of the freshly showered man, free to do so now that they were in private.

"Greg, you only saw me a few hours ago." he laughed, and used his superior body weight to grab Greg and swing him round, depositing him gracelessly onto the brown leather easy-chair.

"I know." Greg looked up at him wickedly, his dark eyes flashing beneath the long sooty lashes. "But that was at work. I can't exactly do what I have planned for you there, when Grissom, or even worse, Ecklie.." he shuddered, "...might come in and ruin the moment."

Nick pulled off his jacket, raising an eyebrow in wonder. "And what have you got planned?" he growled, resting his hands on the arms of the chair and leaning over Greg's body. He could feel his cock begin to twitch in response to Greg's suggestive comment.

"Easy tiger." Greg laughed, noticing the growing bulge in Nick's jeans. "Not what you're thinking. Well, not until later anyway." he winked. "I wanted to give you something, and I didn‘t really want an audience for it in case... well, in case you freaked out or something."

He stuffed a hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a keychain with two gold keys dangling from it.

"This one is for my door." he explained, holding one key between his fingertips. He let that key drop and held up the other one. "And this one with the red tip is the key to the main door downstairs."

He reached out and handed Nick the keys. Nick took them and turned them over in his hands, not quite believing that Greg had done this. "Did you expect me to freak out?" he frowned, as he lifted his jacket and put the keys in the pocket, taking out his own house key and palming it so Greg couldn't see it.

Greg shrugged, looking suddenly shy and much younger than his 30 years. "Didn't want you to think we were moving too fast, but it makes sense for you to be able to get in without me having to run and buzz you in every time. It‘s purely for my own laziness."

"Oh." Nick answered, sounding non-committal.

"You don't have to use it." Greg blushed. "In fact, just give it back and we'll forget I ever gave it to you." he looked up at him nervously.

"OK. If that‘s what you want." Nick smirked, making a show of going back into his jacket pocket. He held the silver key tightly in his fist and pretended to take the other set of keys back out, then pushed the key into Greg's hand, closing the long, slender fingers around it.

Greg opened his hand and looked at the key. "This isn't mine." he said, puzzled.

"It is now." Nick leaned down and kissed him tenderly. Recognition dawned on the young man and he grinned against Nick's lips.

"Looks like we had the same idea." he mumbled, curling his hands around Nick's neck and using the leverage to pull himself out of the chair and up to standing. "But you had to tease me, didn't you? Couldn't just let me give them to you, just stood there with that shit-eating grin and let me talk myself out of it again. Bastard."

"Sorry." Nick laughed, but the sound was cut short by Greg's mouth on his in a furious, crushing kiss.

"Bedroom. Now." Greg panted, scrabbling at the fly of Nick's jeans. They stumbled through the bedroom door, losing their footing as they reached the side of the bed. They tumbled onto the firm mattress and Greg landed on top of Nick with a soft ‘oof‘. He grabbed the waistband of Nick's jeans and shucked them off roughly, taking the boxers along with them. He pushed his own jeans down off his hips and left them in a tangle around his thighs.

"Turn around." he growled, reaching below his pillow where he'd stashed a small bottle of lube and a box of condoms. He'd had a feeling he was going to get lucky today after seeing the way Nick had been looking at him in the lab, and like a good boy scout he always liked to be prepared.

Nick twisted his body so that he was on all fours on the bed, naked backside in the air and still wearing his T-shirt and socks. It would have looked funny if they hadn't both been so desperate and horny.

Greg stood at the side of the bed and stared down at the flawless, downy skin of Nick‘s ass. He couldn't resist it, he had to taste. He got onto his knees and bit down on one cheek with blunt teeth, eliciting a yelp from Nick who was squirming underneath him. He licked at the bite mark and then moved his tongue into the dark cleft between the firm cheeks.

He swirled the tongue around the dark pink pucker, drinking in the salty, musky taste. Nick was moaning unashamedly now, begging for more. Greg flattened his tongue and made one long, measured lap against the entrance before nudging into it with the merest tip.

Nick grabbed hold of the sheets and balled them up in his fists, whimpering at the intense sensations.

Greg withdrew the tongue for long enough to ask "Do you like that, baby?", which Nick figured was pretty rhetorical seeing how hard his cock had gotten, before plunging back in and taking it deeper. He worked blindly to open the bottle of lube and generously coat the fingers of his right hand as he tongue-fucked Nick. He pressed the tip of one finger against the underside of Nick's balls before slowly trailing it up and replacing his tongue with the finger.

"Fuck." Nick said in a strangled moan as Greg worked his finger deeper, turning it as he got past the knuckle. "More."

Greg grinned and pulled the digit out, drizzling more lube over his hand before returning with two fingers. He twisted and stroked Nick deep inside until his own cock was burning with the need to be buried inside that tight hole. He pulled out slowly and tore open the foil wrapper with his teeth, carefully rolling the condom down his aching shaft.

"OK babe." he breathed into Nick's ear as he positioned himself against the entrance and pushed against the slight resistance that remained, sinking home with one long, agonizingly slow thrust.

Nick gasped and threw his head back as he was filled, feeling the burn and stretch of his lover deep inside him.

Greg planted his feet flat on the floor and took a firm grip on Nick's hips. After a few experimental thrusts, he slammed into him with enough force to make his teeth chatter, all the while moaning into his ear how hot he was, how tight and so fucking sexy. Nick groaned as he reached down for his own cock and began to jerk off as Greg continued to thrust into him like an animal.

Nick knew it was all going to be over way too soon. "Greg... I'm gonna..." he gasped, feeling the intense orgasm building inside him as Greg brushed against his prostate with every stroke.

"Do it." Greg panted, rolling his hips in a torturous rhythm. "And let me see."

He moved one hand from Nick's hip and up to his shoulder, pulling the other man up straight until Nick's back was flush against his chest. He rested his chin in the crook of his lover‘s neck, watching the flushed cock-head drip with pre-ejaculate as the orgasm neared. The erotic sight was almost enough to send Greg over the edge, but he bit his lip and held back, wanting to see Nick come first.

Nick reached back and gripped Greg's ass with his free hand and cried out as he came into his fist and all over the bed. Greg was only moments behind, Nick could feel his body tensing as he came, could feel the pulse in his cock as the hot white liquid ejected from him and into the tip of the condom.

Nick collapsed on the bed with Greg boneless on top of him. They lay that way for a few moments, catching their breath, before Greg carefully took hold of the rim of the condom and held it tightly around his softening cock as he pulled out. He rolled it off and wrapped it in a tissue, tossing it in the trash can beside his bed.

Nick pulled off his remaining clothes and manoeuvred himself so that he was lying along the length of the bed rather than the width, and pulled a still fully-clothed Greg down on top of him, drawing him into a hug as he kissed the top of his forehead. "Can we exchange keys again tomorrow?" he laughed sleepily.

Greg grinned back at him and rolled off his lover, snuggling in beside him. "You know," he said, picking up the discarded condom wrapper, "it's time we got you tested. I'm clean, I get done every three months, but when you get the all clear we can stop using these things. We'll save a fortune, the amount we get through."

Nick propped himself up on one elbow and stared down at him, a little taken aback. "Greg, you're the only guy I've slept with, you know." he stammered, sleep now forgotten.

Greg supported himself on both elbows and looked up at him questioningly. "Yeah, but what about all the women that you just loved to brag about to me and Warrick? You can't tell me that you've had 100% safe sex with every woman you've slept with, and I hate to say it but.... before I came along? You, my friend, were quite the slut."

Nick blushed and looked away from Greg's intense gaze. "OK." he said finally. "I'll get it sorted."

"Good." Greg smiled, pulling Nick on top of him in a reverse of the position they‘d been in moments before, relishing the weight of the other man against his body.

"You know I only told you guys about my dates to try and prove how straight I was." Nick admitted, brushing a hand through Greg‘s hair. "And I was trying to prove to myself that I wasn't gay, so I slept with every woman who was willing, trying to find one that would make me feel..... something."

"I'm guessing there was a queue." Greg quipped, relaxing into the sensation of Nick touching him.

"Funny." Nick rolled his eyes, his hand stopping and tangling in the soft hair.

"Hey, it was a compliment." Greg smiled tenderly. "Sorry, carry on."

"But I never was satisfied, that's why I never had any long term girlfriends. I never wanted to be with a lot of different women, I always intended to stay with them and try and form a relationship, but each time after a few dates I was backing off because it didn't feel right. It never felt right."

"Does this feel right?" Greg asked, taking the hand and kissing each fingertip, tracing his tongue across the ridges.

"Feels like heaven." Nick murmured, before capturing Greg's mouth with his own.

Nick paced up and down the stark white corridor, his hands clenched into fists and shoved deep into the pockets of his leather jacket that creaked and rasped as he walked. His sneakers squeaked on the tiles and his breaths came in short huffs through his nose.

"Nick, chill out and sit down." Greg said, patting the plastic seat beside him. Watching his boyfriend was making him dizzy.

Nick let out one last long huff of air through his nostrils and dumped himself down onto the chair, his hands still in his pockets.

"It's going to be OK." Greg smiled, rubbing his hand across Nick's back, feeling the tension in the muscles even through the thick leather.

Nick leaned into the touch and sighed. "I know.... It's just....."

"What?" Greg asked, creeping his hand beneath the jacket to feel the heat of Nick's skin through the thin cotton of his T-shirt, trying to reassure him in some small way. He could remember how nervous he'd been the first time he got tested.

"Promise you won't laugh?" Nick turned his head away so that Greg couldn't see his face.

"Cross my heart." Greg promised, making an X across his chest with his free hand.

"I'm just..... not too keen on needles, OK?" Nick looked down at the blurred reflection of himself in the shiny floor tiles that these clinics always seemed to have. He could see Greg's smudged outline move towards his, and then felt arms around him.

"Oh Nicky. Perhaps the Doctor will give you a sticker and a lollipop for being brave."

Greg's voice was tight and strange, and Nick looked up to see him biting his lip to stifle a laugh, his cheeks taking on a pink tinge.

"Hey! You promised." he said, trying to look pissed, but he couldn't help himself. His face broke into a grin and Greg took that as all the invitation he needed to collapse into a huge belly-laugh. It dissolved the tension that had been hanging between them and he leaned forward to give Greg a quick peck on the lips.

"You'll be fine." Greg reassured, still hiccupping a little from laughing so hard. "And I don't just mean getting the blood drawn. You'll be fine. OK?"

The door opened behind him and a young man in a white lab coat came out. He looked down at his file and called "Nick Stokes?"

"That's me." Nick said, standing and taking off his jacket. Greg reached up to take it, and grabbed his hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

"I'll be right out here." he smiled. Nick nodded and followed the Doctor into the small room.

~~~

Nick returned 45 minutes later, looking a little paler than before and holding a cotton swab in the crook of his elbow. Greg jumped off the chair and went towards him.

"OK?" he asked, his voice cracking a little with the nerves that had built up as he sat alone in the corridor.

"Fine." Nick smiled shakily. "Little trouble getting a vein but we got there in the end. I have to come back next week for the results."

Greg pulled him into a hug, not caring about the other people who were passing along the corridor. "And I'll be right here with you." he whispered into Nick's ear. "I love you."

"I love you too, G'." Nick replied, brushing his lips against Greg's in a chaste kiss. They held each other for a few moments before Greg pulled away and handed Nick his leather jacket. Nick pulled a pained face and looked towards the room he'd just come from.

"What's wrong?" Greg asked, getting worried.

"I didn't get a lollipop." Nick said in a pretend sulk, putting his jacket back on.

Greg let out the breath he didn‘t know he was holding. "We'll find you something else to suck when we get home." he teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as they made their way out of the clinic.

"I could use a hot pizza and a cold beer, to be honest." Nick wheedled, coming in behind Greg and walking pressed right up against his back, his arms around Greg's waist. They fell into step and walked the rest of the way to Nick's SUV like that, Nick holding on to him as if he was the weight that was keeping him grounded.

"Pizza and beer it is then." Greg grinned, reaching back and fishing in Nick's pocket for the keys and opening the passenger door. "Get in, I'm driving."

"Ha, make the most of it buddy." Nick laughed, finally untangling himself from around Greg and mourning the loss of the touch. "Only time it's going to happen."

Greg did a little victory dance before climbing into the driver's seat and adjusting the mirrors to suit himself. He turned the key in the ignition and made a groan of satisfaction as the engine turned over with a purr. "Now, that's sexy." he grinned, pulling out of the clinic parking lot.

"Not a patch on you." Nick returned the grin and stretched his body against the confines of the seatbelt.

They rode in silence for a while, Nick looking through the window at the world going by. Finally he turned back to Greg.

"Greggo....." he said quietly. Greg risked taking his eyes off the road to look over at him.

"What if.... What if it comes back positive?"

"It won't." Greg reassured, but his voice rang with uncertainly. "This is just a precaution, you're at a very low risk, OK?"

Nick nodded, but didn't look convinced. "If I am.... You don't have to stay with me. I would understand. OK?"

Greg reached a hand out and cupped the back of Nick's head, caressing it gently. "Would you stay with me if it was the other way around, and I told you that I had HIV?"

Nick sat up quickly, the seatbelt snapping tight against his chest. "Of course I would, I love you! God, Greg."

Greg cuffed him lightly on the back of the head. "So don't say such stupid things."

~~~

The week seemed to take forever to pass, each day feeling like a lifetime, each hour dragging slower than the hour before. Nick threw himself into his work, but always in the back of his mind he heard the Doctor's voice giving him his results. He'd played both scenarios out in his head, trying to prepare for the worst but hoping for the best. He also tried to make a list of every woman he'd had unprotected sex with. There hadn't been that many, but he knew that it only took one.

Greg had been amazing, trying to keep his mind off things with surprise presents, dinners out and even letting Nick choose the radio station on their drives home. And that was a pretty big sacrifice for Greg.

Finally the morning of the appointment arrived. Nick finished his shift and grabbed a quick shower at work to save him having to stop by his house before going to the clinic as he had an early morning appointment.

He was towelling himself off in the locker room when Greg came storming in, looking annoyed and upset. He hung the towel around his shoulders and padded barefoot over to him, leaving damp footprints on the tiled floor.

"What's wrong G'?" he asked, getting concerned at his boyfriend‘s obvious distress.

"Grissom is what's wrong." Greg huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "He's making me pull a double, I told him I had somewhere I needed to be, but he won't let me leave until I get all the evidence from my crime scene processed, he says it's too 'time sensitive' to leave until tonight."

Nick felt his heart sink, he'd been counting on Greg to be with him when he got his results. He could see how upset Greg was, the brown eyes moist with tears of frustration. He didn't want to add to that so he forced a bright smile.

"Don't worry about it, babe." he reassured him, pulling him close. Greg leant against the still-damp naked skin of his chest and sighed.

"I wanted to be there for you." he complained, running a hand through Nick's wet hair. "I hate the thought of you having to go on your own."

"Woah, sorry guys." came a deep voice behind them. Greg turned to see Warrick stepping discretely out of the locker room again.

"It's OK, Warrick." he called out, breaking contact with Nick. Nick walked over to his locker and shimmied into a pair of boxer-briefs, pulling them up underneath the towel.

Warrick poked his head around the door. "Not interrupting anything?"

Greg shook his head and shot Nick a look, gesturing towards their friend. Nick understood and after a moments hesitation asked, "Hey Rick, are you... um... busy right now?"

"Nah, I'm finished and Tina's working until three. Why, wanna grab a beer or something?" Warrick replied, putting on his jacket.

Nick pulled the towel off and climbed into his jeans. "Actually, I gotta go and get some results from the clinic, Greg was supposed to come with me but he's pulling a double. Do you think you could.... Hang around with me while I get them?"

"What sort of results..." Warrick began before recognition dawned on him. "Oh. Oh right. Sure, I'll go with you. Yeah." He rocked back and forth on his heels, obviously a little embarrassed.

"Thanks man, I appreciate it. I'll find you in the parking lot as soon as I'm ready." Nick smiled gratefully, dropping a subtle hint about getting a moment alone with Greg before they left. Warrick picked up on it and made a tactful retreat.

"You call me as soon as you hear anything, OK?" Greg asked, burying his face into the crook of Nick's neck as they embraced.

"When I know, you'll know." Nick promised, feeling his stomach already start to churn.

~~~

Nick resumed the same pacing up and down the corridor as he had the week before, trying to tell himself that there was nothing to worry about, it was just a precaution and that everything was going to be OK. He repeated the mantra over and over again, hoping that each time he said it, it came a little closer to being true.

Warrick was sitting on the same uncomfortable plastic chair that Greg had sat in previously, and as much as Nick loved his friend and was grateful to have him there, he'd have given everything to have Greg there instead. Still, it was better than being there alone.

Warrick stood up and fumbled in his pocket for some change. "I'm going to get some coffee, you want anything bro?" he asked.

Nick shook his head and resumed the pacing. He made a quick glance at his watch, his appointment had been scheduled for ten minutes earlier and he was wondering why it was taking so long for him to be called. He bit at his nail as he walked, tearing into the cuticle around it.

Warrick reappeared a few minutes later with a steaming Styrofoam cup of coffee and took his seat again, blowing on the surface before taking a sip.

Just then the door opened and a kindly-looking man, in his late 50's Nick guessed, came out into the corridor and joined them.

"Mr. Stokes?" he asked. Nick nodded and came towards him. "I'm Doctor Samson. Is this your partner?" he asked, indicating to Warrick.

Warrick expirated a large spray of black coffee all over the clean tiled floor.

Nick patted him on the back as Warrick continued to cough. "You can take that as a no." Nick chuckled. "This is my buddy Warrick, my partner had to work this morning."

"Very well." the Doctor smiled. "Come this way please, Mr. Stokes." He walked away from the testing room and to another room a few doors down. He opened the door to the small, tastefully furnished room, a lot less clinical than the room he'd had the blood tests in. This room was made for comfort with its armchairs and coffee table. The sort of room a Doctor might use to soften the blow of bad news.

Nick noticed the small box of tissues on the table and felt his legs weaken under him.

Greg's mind was definitely not on his work. He'd spent the last hour of his case bent over the evidence table trying to piece together letters that had been torn up and thrown in the trash at the crime scene, hoping to find something that would help to find the victim's killer. They were all love letters, some pretty graphic, and Greg had to try and discern if the killer had torn them up because they were from him, or because he was jealous of them. It was one very frustrating jigsaw puzzle.

Every few minutes he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, checking to make sure it was switched on, in range and not broken in any way. It was working perfectly, it just stubbornly refused to ring. Greg sighed and put it back in his pocket again, turning back to his puzzle.

The copious amounts of coffee he'd been drinking to keep himself alert had started to make its way to his bladder, and he pulled off the latex gloves and made his way quickly to the men's bathroom. He positioned himself at the urinal and unzipped his pants, sighing with relief. He was in full flow when his ringtone of 'feel like makin' love' echoed around the tiled room.

"Shit!" Greg cried out, trying to tuck himself away and get zipped up before grabbing his phone out of his pocket. The display read ‘Nick calling' and he took a deep, steadying breath before answering.

"Hey babe." he answered, trying to keep his voice light and positive.

"All clear, Greg!" Nick practically shouted, and Greg could hear the grin in his voice. He could also hear Warrick's "Woohoo!" in the background.

"I told you." he laughed, punching the air with his fist.

"Listen, Rick wants to take me for a beer to celebrate so do you want to come out and meet us?" Nick's voice crackled over the line.

"Still at work, dude." he said sadly. He wanted nothing more than to see Nick and just kiss him senseless. "But I'll come over to your place later." he smiled.

"It's a date." Nick laughed before the phone went dead.

Greg put the phone back in his pocket, washed his still-trembling hands and then walked on shaky legs towards the evidence room again, struck by how he'd been more nervous at Nick's results than he'd ever been at his own.

He leaned against the side of the table and took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

"Are you feeling alright Greg?"

Greg spun around to see Grissom standing watching him, his glasses perched on the end of his nose. He had a look of bemusement on his face.

"Oh, Grissom, I didn't know you were there." he blushed, making a show of looking busy.

"Look, why don't you finish off for today and come back to it tonight with fresh eyes, OK?" Grissom said, taking in the mess of torn paper on the desk. "We've already logged all the time sensitive evidence and it doesn't look like you're making much progress here."

"Thanks Grissom, I'd really appreciate that." he smiled, already pulling off his lab coat. He was too grateful to pick up on the barbed comment disguised in the offer. He ran to the lockers to grab his stuff, his mind full of plans for an afternoon with Nick to celebrate his good news.

~~~

Nick pushed open his front door, giggling at everything and nothing. His one beer with Warrick had turned into several beers and a few shots of tequila, something he never normally drank. He'd felt a little guilty that Greg wasn't there with him, but every time he started to feel bad, Warrick would order up another round and he‘d start to feel warm and fuzzy again. They'd had to abandon the SUV at the bar and get a cab home.

The cab left Warrick home first, and Nick could see the shadow of his wife Tina behind the door waiting for him. "Busted." he laughed. Warrick shot him a look that said ‘shut up' louder than any words could have.

The cab then dropped him off outside his own door. In his drunken haze he completely missed the little silver Jetta parked further down the street.

He stumbled in through the door, telling his shoes to be quiet as they squeaked on his hardwood floor as he shuffled along, pulling off his jacket and getting tangled in it, then bumping into the wall as he hung the jacket up.

He opened the bedroom door to find the curtains drawn, soft music playing and half-melted candles placed around the room, giving off not only a gentle glow but also a pleasing scent of cinnamon.

A bottle of champagne sat in a silver bucket full of water, which had once been ice in a previous life, and a plate of strawberries and a little pot of cream sat beside it. Beside that was a bottle of massage oil and a bottle of lube.

Greg was asleep on the bed on top of the covers, still fully clothed and curled up in a ball. He was clutching a photograph in a silver frame to his chest. Nick stepped closer and managed to pull it out of the sleeping man's grasp without disturbing him. It was a reprint of the photo taken after Greg's proficiency, but it had been cropped and resized to make it a photo of just the two of them.

Nick sobered up immediately and felt the guilt building inside him like a ball of lead in his stomach. Greg had obviously planned a special day for them to celebrate Nick's results and he had spoiled it by going off and getting drunk with Warrick. If Greg had only called him and told him to come home, he would have, no question.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and swore under his breath when he saw that it was switched off, he must have done it accidentally when he'd called Greg earlier. He switched it on to find the luminous green display listing that he had ‘6 missed calls'.

Nick sighed and sat the photograph on the bed, silently picking up the silver bucket and creeping to the kitchen with it where he poured out the water and put in fresh ice, popped the cork and poured some of the bubbly liquid into two glasses. He balanced the bucket in the crook of one arm and lifted the glasses with the other hand, then made his way back to the bedroom.

"Greg.... Baby?" he said in a whisper, setting the glasses down on the bedside table. "Wake up."

Greg groaned and curled himself tighter.

Nick kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, spooning himself around the warm body. "Greggo" he called out softly, extending the last syllable.

Greg moaned again and pressed back into Nick, finally coming to. "Mmmm, sorry, I fell asleep." He sat up and looked around blearily. "You opened the champagne." he said in a sleep-thickened voice.

Nick reached back and lifted the glasses, handing one to Greg. "I'm sorry I didn't come home sooner." he said, running a hand along Greg's back as the other man drank down the champagne in one long gulp. "Me and Warrick lost track of time and I thought you were working anyway....." he explained as he swallowed his own drink.

"Don't worry about it." Greg yawned. "You're here now. Lets celebrate your good news."

He indulged in a feline-like full body stretch to wake himself up and reached across Nick's body to grab a strawberry. He put it in his mouth and sucked suggestively on the plump fruit before taking a bite from the end, causing the red juice to dribble down his chin. Nick growled and leaned forward to lap at the juice with his tongue.

"Mmmm, you taste good." he said in a low, sexy voice, taking his tongue further down Greg's chin and around the sharp collarbone where he licked and kissed the warm skin until Greg was squirming beneath him.

"Clothes.... off." Greg managed to pant, his head thrown back in the ecstasy of the sensation.

They both stripped hastily, tossing clothes in all directions but making sure to avoid the still-burning candles. "Want to feel you." Greg choked as Nick kissed all the way down his naked body, swirling his tongue over the thick cock. The champagne had made everything deliciously fuzzy again, he felt his cheeks burning as he lubed up and grabbed Greg's ankles, hooking them over his shoulders. After a few minutes of preparation, he started to push into Greg slowly, entering him inch by inch. Greg moaned and writhed beneath him, virginally tight and so hot and silky inside. He could feel every sensation against his naked, throbbing cock, and it felt wonderful.

"Jesus Greg, you feel so fucking good." he whimpered, placing a hand flat on Greg's belly as he rolled his hips, rocking into the other man.

"So do you." Greg replied, reaching a hand down to take his own erection in his fist.

Nick leaned across and picked up a strawberry, popping it in his mouth and sucking at it. He bent down and fed it to Greg, the juice running over Greg's face as they kissed the soft fruit back and forth between them. Nick lapped it up greedily.

"Mmmmm, love you so much." Nick moaned, his orgasm growing near. He could feel the white heat building in his groin and he knew he was going to explode any minute.

Greg was pumping faster now, his head stretched back and his eyes fluttering as his own arousal grew beyond control. He cried out and bucked his hips forwards as he ejaculated all over his stomach, the hot thick cream coating the pale skin. Nick picked up another strawberry and trailed it though the mess, then licked it clean and ate it. Greg's spent cock twitched weakly as he watched the erotic act.

Moments later Nick's whole body tensed, and Greg could feel pulses of heat filling his ass as Nick came inside him.

Nick carefully pulled out and unhooked Greg's legs from around his neck, before collapsing onto the bed beside him. The combination of the orgasm and the alcohol made his head spin, and he gasped for air to try and clear it.

Greg poured himself another glass of champagne and drank it as he watched Nick lying naked on the bed. Then, without warning, he poured the cold liquid over Nick's chest and bent down to slowly lick it off.

"Mmm, yeah, definitely tastes better this way." he grinned as he swirled his tongue across Nick's firm pecs, feeling the bubbles burst in his mouth. Nick grabbed him around the shoulders and pulled him down into a fierce bear-hug, kissing him on the top of the head.

"I love the photograph." he said sleepily, nuzzling into Greg's hair. "Thank you. And thanks for all this." He waved his hand weakly to indicate to the candles. "It was a nice thing to come home to."

"I just wanted to show you what you mean to me." Greg said, his voice almost inaudible. "I love you so much, I'm glad everything went OK today."

Nick reached across and picked up the silver framed photo and placed it on his bedside table.

"Perfect." he grinned, pulling Greg in for another kiss.

Greg stood at the open door of his locker, pulling out some clean clothes to change into before heading home. His head was stuck right inside the locker, so he didn't notice as Nick came up behind him and threw his arms around Greg, pulling him close against his chest. Greg leaned back into the embrace and inhaled Nick's musky scent, growling a little.

"So, I heard on the grapevine that you just cracked your 40th case." Nick whispered, and Greg could almost feel the grin on the other man's face.

"Sure did." he gloated. "The suspect had sneezed on the victim as he was tying her up. DNA was a billion to one."

Nick spun him so that they were now face to face, his pride at Greg‘s progress evident. "You know, only ten more cases and you get promoted. No more being a lowly CSI level one."

Greg surreptitiously checked the hallway before pushing Nick up against the locker and stealing a breath-taking kiss.

"Lowly?" he grinned as they broke apart. "Take me home and tell me that again. You‘ll be the lowly one after I‘m through with you."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "You think you're up to that? I am a level three after all. Much more..... superior to you."

"You're so going down." Greg laughed, pushing up against him.

"Actually quite like the sound of that." Nick leered, rubbing his thigh between Greg's legs.

"Your place?"

"It's closer."

It became a race to see who could finish getting changed and get out of the building to the parking lot first. Greg won by a nose, but only because he played dirty and did a full body stretch while wearing only his boxers, meaning that Nick had to sit down on the bench and wait for his erection to subside before he could follow Greg out into the hallway.

Nick pulled ahead when Greg realised he'd left his keys in his locker and ran back to get them, passing him in the parking lot with a look of frustration.

"More haste, less speed Greggo!" Nick called back to him, chuckling. They finally climbed into their respective vehicles and pulled out of the crime lab parking lot and made the short drive to Nick's place.

Greg pulled up and parked behind Nick's SUV, and followed him to the door.

"So," he said, patting Nick's ass, "Let's get this fine Texan rump steak inside and I'll show you what a lowly level one CSI can do."

They tumbled through the door, laughing and kissing, their hands wandering all over each other's bodies as they stumbled to the couch. Greg felt the seat cushion bump against the back of his legs and kicked off his Converse sneakers before he allowed Nick's weight to overpower him. They fell backwards onto the soft black leather, Nick landing heavily on top of him as they continued to kiss.

Nick sat back for a moment to pull his T-shirt off, then clawed at Greg's work shirt, tearing open the buttons as he mouthed a hot, damp trail over the skin he exposed with each movement. Greg moaned and writhed beneath him, bringing his own hands up to scratch at Nick's back with his fingernails, leaving long red marks in his wake.

Nick reached a hand down and cupped Greg's growing erection through the denim of his jeans, palming the warm bulge gently as he brought their mouths together in a fierce kiss, licking the underside of Greg's top lip in the way that always drove him crazy.

Greg groaned and opened his legs to allow Nick's body to drop into the space between, hooking his thighs around the waist and pulling him even closer. Nick moved his hand from the bulge and began to work at the button fly of the jeans.

Suddenly the phone rang, it's shrill, incessant trilling breaking the moment. Nick groaned in frustration and tried to move. Greg hung on tightly, clamping his legs around him. "Leave it." he moaned breathlessly, putting one hand behind Nick's head and trying to pull him down for another kiss.

"Might be work." Nick mumbled against the damp lips. "Should get it."

"Mmmmmph." Greg responded in the negative, twisting his tongue inside Nick's mouth. For a split second Nick let himself be drawn into the kiss, but the ringing continued and a moment later he was pulling away. Greg felt the loss of heat and shivered slightly.

Nick jogged across the room and picked up the phone, still slightly out of breath. "Nick Stokes speaking." he answered.

Greg watched from his vantage point on the couch, only able to hear one side of the conversation but very much enjoying the view of his half-naked boyfriend.

"Oh hey Mom. No, I'm fine, I was just...um.... shifting some furniture. No, honestly. Really? Oh, that's great news, give her a big hug from me, will you?" Nick grabbed the phone and trailed it over to the sofa, shifting Greg's feet out of the way. He sat down and placed the phone on his knee.

"How far along is she? Wow, she must be starting to show a little then."

Greg shifted his body, sitting himself up so that he was leaning back on his elbows. Nick looked across at him and placed a finger to his lips to tell him to keep quiet, trying not to think about how sexy Greg looked when he lay back like that, shirt pushed off of his shoulders, knees bent and jeans open to reveal the soft downy hair that was leading temptingly below the waistband of his black boxers.

"What? No, I'm still here." he cleared his throat, blushing. Greg grinned saucily and threw his head back in a pretence of stretching, exposing the long pale throat, marred only by a small red mark that looked suspiciously like the shape of Nick's own teeth.

"No, Mom, I don't have a girlfriend at the moment. No, no one serious."

Greg's head snapped back up at that sentence. Even though he knew that Nick's family didn't know about him, it was still hard to hear Nick acting like he didn't exist.

"Yeah, OK. Tell Rachel and Cody congratulations, and I'll call her as soon as I can. Love to Cisco. Bye Mom." Nick put the phone down and set it on the glass coffee table in front of them, before turning his body and dropping back in between Greg's legs to carry on where they'd left off.

"Is Rachel pregnant again?" Greg asked about Nick‘s older sister, the youngest of the girls. He turned his head to avoid Nick's seeking mouth.

"Yeah, she's four months gone already." Nick grinned, not noticing Greg's discomfort. "She wanted to make sure everything was OK before telling us."

"What's that, her fifth? She must love kids." Greg snorted. "I take it your Mom was trying to find out if you'd be adding to the count of Grandkids any time soon?"

Nick dropped his head, not looking Greg in the eye. "Yeah. You know what she's like."

"No, actually, I don't." Greg pushed Nick off him and sat up. He cleared his throat and started to button up his shirt again. "I met the woman for five minutes in the break room at the crime lab... that night. Along with everyone else. I doubt she even knows my name." He cursed himself for bringing the kidnapping up again in his frustration, but he needed to let Nick know how he felt.

"Greggo....." Nick sighed, coming behind him and rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back. He shrugged it off.

"No Nick, we've been dating for what, 3 months now? Are you ever planning on telling your family about me? You promised you would. Everyone at work knows and no one cares. No, scratch that, they do care. They‘re happy for us."

"Greg, I thought you understood." Nick stood up and scrubbed at his face with his hand, trying to find the right words to explain how he was feeling. "This is different. I can't.... not yet. Maybe when things are more settled..."

"Settled?" Greg yelped, his voice at least two octaves higher than usual. "What the fuck does that mean? Are you saying you don't know if this is a long term thing? What am I, your experiment to see if you can live as a gay man? And if you decide that you can't, are you just going to toss me aside like yesterdays trash?"

"That's not what I'm saying, and you know it." Nick yelled. "You have no idea what my parents will do to me if they find out that I'm in love with another man. I don't know if I'm ready.... to lose them yet."

"Nick, they love you, you're their son. I don't know if they ever told you this, but they were willing to sell their home to fund the ransom for you. Surely they won't turn their back on you just because you're gay?" Greg asked, trying desperately to keep his anger and frustration under control.

"My Mom might be OK, but my Dad..... No. He'll freak." Nick threw his hands up in the air.

"You told me when we got together that you didn't want to lie anymore. Well, what do you think you're doing now?" Greg huffed, his tongue sharper than his brain at that point. "You're gay Nick. You're a gay man. You like cock. You like my cock. You are gay. Deal with it."

"That's not the issue Greg!" Nick shouted, his emotions raw. "You have no idea what I'm going through, your parents were cool with you when you came out. You'll never know what I'm going through. You will never understand. Don‘t tell me how I should be living my life!"

Greg pulled his sneakers back on and stormed over to where Nick was standing. "Listen Nick, you know I love you but I can't be your dirty little secret. How do you think I feel, having to listen to you telling your Mom that you're not seeing anyone? Knowing that when Rachel has her baby you'll head down to Texas to celebrate and leave me here alone? It‘s not exactly fair on me, is it?"

"It's not all about you." Nick sighed, exasperated. Why couldn't Greg just understand?

"It's all about you for me." Greg huffed. "Things aren't always easy for me either, but I get on with it because I love you! Can‘t you just tell them? Please?"

"Don't be such a child Greg." Nick snapped. "I've told you that I'll tell them, but when I'm ready."

"A child?" Greg scoffed. "You want to see childish?" he turned and pulled the front door open, slamming it behind him as he left.

Nick let out a roar of pure frustration and grabbed a cup that was sitting on the table, throwing it against the wall. It smashed with a satisfying crunch, sending cold coffee splattering in all directions.

How did a day that had started out so well go so wrong?

Greg stomped over to his jetta and jumped in, pulling quickly away from Nick's house and towards his own apartment building. As he drove, his anger subsided and he immediately regretted leaving Nick like that. He might be royally pissed, but they weren't going to achieve anything by him storming out like that. He debated turning back and apologising, but decided that they probably both needed to cool off first.

He drove into the apartment complex car park and killed the engine, sitting in the car for a while until he stopped trembling. He stepped out, squinting into the morning sun and fumbled in his pocket for his key to the main door.

He walked across the foyer and over to the wall of mailboxes. He opened his mailbox and pulled out the envelopes that had been stuffed in there. He leafed through them one by one, listing the contents under his breath. "Bill, bill, junk, postcard from Jessica in Florida, bill....."

At the bottom of the pile was a small white envelope with his name and address neatly typed on the front. In the top left hand corner, in smaller type, was the address for Cartwood penitentiary.

He felt his stomach lurch as he set the other mail back into its cubby-hole and tore at the envelope, his hands trembling. He pulled the small card out and read it. It was a visiting order that read To Mr Greg Sanders from John Bradley, prisoner # 803972, dated for the following week.

He let out a small whimper and immediately tore the offending card into several pieces, dropping them into the nearby trash-can like confetti. He didn't need this, not today.

He reached a hand out and grabbed hold of the wall of mailboxes to steady himself, taking several deep, shaky breaths before he felt strong enough to pick up his other mail and lock his mailbox.

His hands were shaking so hard that he dropped the small key, and he had to get down on all fours to look for it. He finally found it lurking beneath the corner of the mailboxes, the glint of the metal shining in the early morning sun.

"Young man, is everything all right?" came a voice above him. Greg looked up to see his elderly neighbour Mrs Freidman standing over him. She was a widow who lived a couple of apartments away from him, rather forgetful but extremely friendly. Greg had always kept an eye out for her as she had no family in Las Vegas. She was the one who had called the ambulance when Greg had been attacked, and she had been even more protective of him ever since.

"I'm fine, Mrs Freidman, I just dropped my mail key." he explained, dusting himself off and trying to steady his nerves. He folded his other mail and stuffed it in his pocket, trying to force a smile. "How are you today?"

She ignored the niceties and came closer. "You don't look well." she said. "Come upstairs with me and I'll make you a nice drink. I think I have some tea."

"I'm fine, honestly." he lied.

"Are you sure? You're very pale and look, you're shaking. Are you cold?" she took his hands in hers and rubbed them. Greg could feel her papery skin against his damp palms and he smiled tightly. She reminded him so much of his Nana Hojem. Suddenly he was overcome with a bout of homesickness and swallowed down the huge lump in his throat before allowing it to become tears.

"I guess I've got time for one cup of tea. Thank you Mrs Freidman." he relented.

She shuffled towards the elevator and Greg followed obediently, swiping roughly at his eyes with the back of his hand. He wasn't going to waste any more tears on John Bradley. His life was good now, he had Nick and Nick loved him, even if it didn‘t feel like that right now. He would call him when he got back to his own apartment, apologise to him for being an ass.

Mrs Freidman opened her front door and Greg stepped through into the dark apartment, which always smelled of a strangely welcoming mix of baking and cats. For some reason she never opened her curtains, Greg had never asked why. Instead she kept her lights on all day. Greg was glad for her sake that utilities were included in the rent.

"Has your light bulb blown again?" he asked, looking up at the fitting. Mrs Freidman turned back to him, nodding. Greg shook his head and smiled. "You should have come and got me, I'd have replaced it. I'll do it now if you've got a spare one."

She smiled back, showing the few gaps in her teeth. "I'll get you one and you can do it while I make the tea. Thank you Gavin."

"Greg." he corrected her as he had done many times before.

"Why, what did I say?" she asked, her face wrinkling in confusion.

"Nothing. I'll get that light bulb changed now." he grinned, pulling up a stool to stand on.

Mrs Freidman brought him the light bulb and then pottered about in the small kitchen as he changed it. He'd just finished as she brought a tray of small, freshly baked cakes and a pot of tea with two cups. She set them on the table and indicated for Greg to sit down as she poured him a cup of the steaming hot, caramel coloured liquid.

"Is that handsome young man not with you today?" she asked as she added two spoonfuls of sugar to her own cup and stirred it noisily. "Nick, isn't it?"

"No, Nick's not with me today." Greg blushed, his eyes fixed at a small stain on the vinyl table-cloth. He felt something rub against his leg and looked down to see Mrs Freidman's tabby cat nosing at his shoelace. He leaned down and grabbed the fat ball of fur and brought him onto his lap.

"Hey Mandu." he smiled, tickling the animal behind the ears, receiving a deep purr in response. Greg had bought Mandu for Mrs Freidman as a kitten after her other cat, Ginger, had died of old age.

"Such a handsome man." Mrs Freidman was still talking. "Reminds me of my William when he was young."

With that she rose and shuffled into the small bedroom, returning a few minutes later with an old faded black and white photograph in a tarnished gold frame. She put on the spectacles that hung around her neck on a chain and looked at the photo.

"This was our wedding day, 14th August 1943. See, I still remember that." she smiled, handing Greg the photograph. A beautiful young woman in a plain white gown was arm in arm with a tall, handsome soldier in full dress uniform. He had dark hair and a strong, square jaw, and did indeed resemble Nick.

"You look so young." Greg said without thinking. "I mean... sorry. It's a lovely photo. It must mean a lot to you."

"It does." she replied, taking the frame in her hands and looking at it with a mixture of love and sadness. "And I was young, barely 18. William was 23 and about to go to England. The war was on, and he was a soldier, he was going to be based over there. We didn't know if he would come back and he told me he wanted to leave as my husband. We got married the day before he left."

Greg continued to stroke Mandu, lost in thought. Mrs Freidman set the photo back on the table and smiled at Greg, but her mouth was quivering. "I've been without him for almost ten years now, but I thank the Lord that he was kept safe over there and came back to me and we had so many happy days together. He used to say that I was made especially for him."

"Do you think he was your soul mate?" Greg asked, his voice low and thick. He took a sip of tea to try and clear his throat.

"I know he was." she smiled, running a shaking fingertip across the dusty glass, leaving a trail. "He used to look at me in a certain way, and I knew that he loved me more than life itself. I see your friend look at you in the same way."

Greg choked on his tea, causing Mandu to squeal and jump off his lap.

"I may be a silly old woman, but I'm not blind." she smiled softly at him, taking his hand in hers and squeezing weakly. "He's your beau, isn't he?"

Greg nodded, his eyes wide and questioning. Mrs Freidman took a sip of her own tea. "My grandson is a homersexual. He lives in New York with his boyfriend." she said proudly.

Greg fought a smirk and decided not to correct her. "You're pretty cool, Mrs Freidman, you know that?" he grinned, squeezing her hand in return. "I just wish more people were like you."

"Are there problems?" she asked him.

"You could say that." Greg admitted. "Not everyone is as accepting as you."

"But you love each other." she said, sounding puzzled. "What else matters?"

Greg let out a long, slow sigh. "You know, you're right." he nodded. "Nothing else should matter." He stood up and gave the old lady an impromptu hug. She smelled like violets and once again Greg was reminded of his Nana Hojem, who always used a violet soap. "Thank you." he breathed into her soft grey curly hair.

"Would you like a cup of tea before you go?" she asked, getting slightly confused again.

"I just had one." he smiled. "Your bulb's fixed now, OK? I've got to head out, but I'll check on you later. Bye Mandu." he called to the cat, who was now curled up on the couch and licking himself. He looked up at him with deep green eyes and then went back to his tongue-bath.

Greg closed the door softly behind him and crossed the hall to his own apartment. He threw the mail onto the shelf and closed the door again, jogging down the corridor and back to the elevator. As soon as he got out into the parking lot he jumped into his little jetta and sped back to Nick's house again. A phone call wouldn't cut it, he needed to see Nick in person to apologise.

~~~

Nick stood in the shower and turned the water up to full heat, wincing at the burning sensation on his skin. He scrubbed at himself with the washcloth, running his argument with Greg over and over in his head. He was such an idiot, letting Greg leave like that. They'd been through too much to throw their burgeoning relationship away over one fight. He wasn't going to let Greg go that easily. With sudden clarity he realised that he had to talk to Greg as soon as possible, get this mess sorted out.

He jumped out of the shower and rubbed a towel roughly over his body before shrugging into his T-shirt and jeans. He ran out of the bathroom and pulled his shoes on as he went, wincing as they rubbed against his bare feet. He grabbed his keys and threw the door open, almost knocking Greg over who was standing in his doorway, hand raised as if to knock.

"Greg...." he said, feeling suddenly awkward. "I was just coming to find you."

Greg took in the wet hair and dishevelled appearance. "I can see that." he replied, raising an eyebrow. "Can I come in?"

"Oh, of course." Nick stepped back, flustered. He'd expected to have the drive over to Greg's apartment to get his thoughts organised, but now that Greg was here he'd just have to wing it.

Greg sat on the couch and looked up shyly at Nick. "I'm sorry." he sighed. "I shouldn't push you into something you're not ready for. It‘s just that I love you so much, but I feel like I‘m not really part of your life while this is going on. Can you understand that?"

Nick took a seat beside him, and tentatively put a hand on his thigh. "Of course I can. I'm sorry too. It must be so hard on you to have to live like this, knowing that I'm hiding us from my family. You know that I hate seeing you upset."

"I know." Greg smiled. "I shouldn't have got so angry though. You're right, I couldn't ever know what you're going through. Just because my family can‘t wait to meet you and think you‘re the greatest thing since sliced bread, doesn‘t mean everyone's as accepting. I‘m not saying that I‘m OK with you not telling them, but..... If it comes down to it, I‘d rather have you in secret than not at all."

"I will tell them, I promise." Nick put his arm around Greg's shoulders and pulled the younger man in for a hug. "Just let me do it in my own time, OK?"

"I guess I can live with that." Greg sniffed, leaning into the hug. Nick reached a hand under his chin and tilted his head up, brushing his lips against Greg's. Greg sighed into his open mouth and let himself be drawn into the kiss. He wasn't really in the mood now, but he didn't want Nick to get the wrong idea and think that he was withholding sex as means to get his own way.

Nick reached down and began to unbutton Greg's shirt, almost as if he was trying to recreate the feelings from earlier, before their argument. Greg moaned a little as the nimble fingers worked at his nipples, twisting and pulling them gently. Despite himself, he began to enjoy the sensation.

Nick pushed the shirt further off one arm and began to lick and nibble at the curve where neck meets shoulder, salving the tiny nips with a soothing tongue. Greg shivered and reached out to caress Nick's strong, solid back, running his fingers over the cotton of his T-shirt and feeling the muscles ripple below. He felt his cock begin to twitch into life.

"Off." Nick commanded, more of a moan than an actual word, and Greg pulled his shirt completely off and tossed it aside as Nick once again pulled off his own T-shirt with one hand, planting the other on the centre of Greg's chest and pushing him flat onto the couch. He shivered as his naked skin hit the cool leather but then the heat of Nick was on top of him, grinding his erection into Greg's hip. Greg bucked beneath him and reached down to free Nick from his damp jeans. He pulled the zip down and realised that in his haste to go and find Greg, he'd neglected to put on underwear.

The thick cock sprang out of the open jeans, filling Greg's hand. "Fuck, Greg." Nick moaned as Greg closed his fist around it, the coarse dark hair at the base tickling his palm. "Feels so good."

Nick was on all fours above him, hands either side of Greg's head and knees wedged in between Greg's open legs. Greg pulled at the shaft, twisting his wrist each time he came to the swollen head. Nick voiced his pleasure with each tug, moaning and grunting as Greg worked, speeding up as he felt Nick's body beginning to tense, his mouth gaping open and eyes fluttering. Nick sat up on his knees as his orgasm approached, his head thrown back in a show of gratification. Greg ran his thumb over the leaking slit as he pumped, concentrating on getting Nick off, trying to erase the tension from earlier that had seemed to settle in the small living room like a heavy fog.

Nick gasped and thrust forward into Greg's fist one last time, shuddering as he came hard, sending a thick jet of hot cream over Greg's chest. Nick collapsed on top of him, sandwiching the mess between them.

"I love you so much G'." he moaned breathlessly into Greg's ear. Greg nuzzled into him and sighed. He knew that Nick meant it, but he still felt the weight of his lover's insecurities on their relationship. His own erection wilted as the fears filled his mind again, along with worries of why John was trying to contact him. He decided not to tell Nick about the visiting order, he reasoned that there was no point upsetting him when there was no chance of Greg ever taking the offer up.

Nick raised his head and smiled down at him, his eyes getting heavy in exhaustion and relief that they had made up after their fight. Greg looked up at him and smiled back, but Nick thought he saw a flash of something else in those dark brown eyes, something akin to fear. He blinked to clear his vision and when he looked again, Greg's eyes were back to their normal sparkling self.

"Do you want to crash here?" he yawned, scrabbling to get off the couch with uncoordinated limbs.

"Sure, why not." Greg shrugged, and followed Nick into the bedroom, kicking out of his shoes and pulling off his jeans as he went. Nick grabbed some tissues and cleaned himself off, then tossed the box to Greg to do the same. He pulled down the soft blue comforter and stripped himself naked, throwing himself sleepily onto the mattress.

Greg followed suit and climbed into the bed, pulling the comforter around them both. Nick immediately spooned around Greg's back and went to sleep, snoring softly.

Greg lay awake for what seemed like hours, thinking about Nick and the last three months they'd spent together. The argument was their first proper fight they'd had since becoming a couple, although they'd had many when they were just friends. Greg was just glad they'd got through it without too much damage. Or at least, he hoped they had.

As he lay there in Nick's warm embrace, his thoughts drifted to Mrs Freidman and her husband and the wedding photo that had so perfectly captured the love between them. She had taken a chance and married William even though she had no idea if he would ever come back from the war. She had put her faith in their love being strong enough to cope with any eventuality.

He looked up and caught sight of the photograph of him and Nick, smiling and happy in each other's easy embrace. Even though it was taken when they were still only friends, the connection between them was just as evident.

Nick moaned and shifted away in his sleep, and Greg turned around so he could face his lover. He knew that Nick loved him more than life itself, and he felt the same way. He always had. What he didn't know was if he had that same blind faith in their love as Mr and Mrs Freidman had, a faith to carry him through the many times when Nick would deny him.

He reached out a hand and gently caressed Nick's jaw with just the barest whisper of his fingertips. Nick unconsciously nuzzled into the touch, sighing contentedly.

"I love you, Nick Stokes." he choked, tasting salt on his tongue as a single tear of pain and frustration traced a path down his face. "I hope it's enough."

Life returned to something near normality for Greg and Nick. They continued dating and took it in turns to stay over at each other's house or apartment, although as Nick's place was bigger and closer to work they usually ended up there. Every day they set their alarms to wake up an hour early to make love before they went to work, coming home and taking a long shower and then cooking a meal together to unwind after their shift. It became a comforting ritual for both of them in the madness and chaos of their jobs. Greg would take Nick to bed and just hold him tightly and sing to him after he'd worked tough cases involving children or kidnappings, and Nick would take Greg home and comfort him when his crime scene had involved fire or burns victims. They knew each other's strengths and weaknesses, knew instinctively when to stay close or when to step back and give some much needed breathing room.

Greg had decided not to mention how much he wanted Nick to come out to his family. As much as it was breaking his heart to know that Nick was hiding him from his parents, it wasn't really affecting their day to day lives as Nick‘s family was so far away.

Nick always tactfully waited until Greg had gone back to his own apartment before he made any phone calls to Texas, or if his Mom called him he always took the call in another room, knowing how hard it was for Greg to hear him talking to his parents about everything but him and hiding such a huge part of his life. It wasn't exactly easy for him either, he had to be completely focused on what he was saying, screening every single word before it came out of his mouth in case he accidentally mentioned Greg or that he was dating someone.

Greg continued to get visiting orders from John, inviting him to visit him in prison, and each time Greg tore them up and tossed them in the trash, never once telling Nick about them. But with each letter, Greg grew more curious as to why John was so desperate to see him. He didn't like lying to Nick about it, but he felt that it was something better kept to himself.

~~~

Greg awoke in Nick's bed on the afternoon of their four month anniversary to find Nick's tongue working its way down his naked body. He squirmed at the wet heat that was now focused on the crease between his thigh and his crotch, moving ever so slowly towards its goal. He could feel the blood rushing to his cock as Nick's head moved under the comforter, planting soft, sticky kisses along the thickening shaft, working his way to the tip. He took the swollen head in his mouth with a low hum of satisfaction, sending shivers all through Greg's body.

Greg reached down and ran his fingers through Nick's hair, his fingernails scraping at the scalp beneath. "Oh God." he breathed. "Better than any alarm clock."

Nick tossed the comforter off their bodies and looked up at Greg with his dark eyes flashing with lust and something else that Greg could only describe as mischief. He flicked his tongue across the slit and then licked all the way up the underside of the shaft, along the bulging vein, getting Greg nice and slippery.

Then without warning, the mouth disappeared from his cock. Greg whimpered with disappointment at the loss of the delicious heat. Nick just grinned and straddled him. "Don't worry." he whispered hoarsely. "Lay back and enjoy the ride."

With those last words still hanging in the air, he plunged himself down onto Greg's saliva soaked erection. Greg slipped easily inside the other man, and he got extremely aroused when he realised that Nick had obviously prepared himself in secret before waking him up. The thought of that was almost enough to send him over the brink too soon, but he bit his lip and concentrated on the pain and the slightly metallic tang of blood on his tongue.

"Nick....." he gasped, grabbing his lover by the hips as Nick rocked back and forwards, impaled on him. With each movement he raised himself slightly and then sank back down to the base.

"Happy anniversary baby." he moaned as he moved one of Greg's hands from his hip to his own throbbing erection. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Nick." Greg bucked his hips as Nick began to ride him harder, their bodies flushed and damp with sweat. Nick threw his head back in delight as Greg jerked him off, crying out as he came all over Greg's hand and chest. Greg couldn't hold back anymore and filled Nick's ass with his own burning hot ejaculation.

Nick collapsed on top of him and covered him with soft open-mouthed kisses, Greg still buried deep inside him. Greg brought his hands up and caressed Nick's back, sweeping his fingertips over the damp skin.

"You can wake me up like that every day if you want." Greg grinned into the side of his neck. Nick lifted his head and ran a hand through Greg's sweat-soaked hair.

"Deal." he panted. "Now let's hit the shower."

They stumbled on rubbery legs from the bedroom to the bathroom, still wrapped up in eachother. Nick reached into the shower cubicle and turned the water on, holding a hand underneath it until it got to the perfect temperature. They stood under the spray, enjoying the way the hot water beat down on their tired muscles and ran in rivers down their bodies, washing away the sweat from their recent exertion.

Greg lifted a bottle of body wash and poured some on the washcloth, meticulously soaping up every inch of Nick's body before pulling him back under the spray, washing the thick lather off him again. Then he grabbed the shampoo and washed Nick's hair gently, humming softly all the while.

Once Nick was squeaky clean, he returned the favour and washed Greg down carefully, being extra gentle as he rubbed across the scars on his back.

"I love you so much."

Nick barely heard the words over the running water of the shower. Greg turned his head and looked shyly up at him. Nick knew that Greg was still uncomfortable with his body, and for Nick to accept him just the way he was, it was almost too much for the young CSI to comprehend. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the centre of Greg's back, where the worst of the scarring was.

"I've been thinking about something." Greg said, reaching up and turning the water off. They stepped out of the shower and grabbed a couple of warm towels from the radiator.

"Thought I heard the cogs turning." Nick said with a smirk.

"I'm being serious." Greg complained, rubbing the towel roughly over Nick's wet hair. "It seems like I'm here almost all of the time, we barely go to my place anymore."

"If that's a problem then we can hang out there more often." Nick suggested.

"That's not what I mean." Greg sighed. "It just seems like a waste of money to keep two places going when I'm always here. It would be a lot easier, not to mention cheaper, if I just moved in here with you."

"Yeah, I don't think that's such a good idea, G'." Nick took a quick step backwards and held a hand up.

"Why not?" Greg's face twisted into a puzzled expression. "I thought that was where we were heading? We‘re practically doing it already, where‘s the harm in making it official?"

"Greg, think it through. What if my folks call and you answer, or even worse they drop by unexpectedly? How do I explain you away?"

"How likely is it that they're going to turn up on your doorstep, huh? And we can get caller ID. If I see that it's them, I just won't answer the phone." he said, wrapping himself in the towel and walking to the bedroom.

Nick followed behind, striding naked down the hallway. "Oh yeah, let the machine get it?" He put on a tinny voice, mimicking their answer phone message. "You've reached Nick and Greg's house, sorry we can't come to the phone right now, we‘re probably off fucking somewhere." He grabbed a clean pair of boxer briefs and climbed into them as Greg pulled his own jeans on. "Yeah, that's a lot better."

"No need to be a sarcastic prick about it." Greg huffed, sitting on the bed to pull his socks on. "We can work around it. But I'm beginning to think that you're trying to put obstacles in the way to avoid commitment."

"That's not true, and you know it." Nick fumed, pulling on some sweatpants and a T-shirt. "Look, please let's not fight about this, not today of all days. Please?"

"Oh Nick!" Greg cried out in frustration, throwing one of his sneakers across the room where it hit the wall and bounced back onto the floor. The sound shocked him a little, and he made a real effort to calm down and keep his temper under control.

"Sorry." he exhaled, lifting the sneaker up again sheepishly. "Look, I don't want to fight with you about this. Can we just talk.... calmly if possible? Let me put my side forward?"

"Yeah. Sure." Nick agreed.

Greg continued dressing as he talked, the mundane routine somehow helping him to remain calm. "I just..... God, I love you so much, it frustrates me that we can‘t just be a proper couple. I just want to build a life with you, I want a future, that's all. Can you understand that? I don't want to just be celebrating monthly anniversaries with you, I want years. I want..... I want you! Body and soul. I want to share everything with you."

"I want that too, Greggo. More than anything." Nick's voice was raw with emotion. He didn't want to lose Greg, and he felt like that was a distinct possibility if he didn't stand up and be a man. "I'll tell my parents." He knew the voice was his, but it seemed very far away.

"What?" Greg froze in the middle of pulling his T-shirt on, one arm through the sleeve.

"I'll tell them about us. I'll see about getting some time off work next month and I'll go down to the ranch and spend some time with them. If I feel that the situation is right, I'll tell them that I'm gay."

Greg struggled into the T-shirt and came over to stand in front of his boyfriend. "You'd do that? What about everything you told me about your Dad?"

"I love you." he shrugged. "I don't know what they'll say or do, they might throw me out. My Dad might even get the shotgun out and chase me off their land. But if I have to tell them to make you happy, then.... I guess I have no choice. It's time I faced my fears and be honest with them."

Greg grabbed him and pulled him into fierce hug. "I don't want to force you into this."

Nick rested his head in the crook of Greg's shoulder, breathing in the scent of the coconut body wash. "It's time." he croaked. He felt sick at the thought but it was too late. He'd promised Greg and he couldn't go back on his word.

"Thank you." Greg smiled gratefully.

~~~

Greg pulled up outside his apartment complex and parked his Jetta in his usual spot. He had left Nick browsing the Internet for flights to Austin, the nearest airport to the Stokes Ranch, and had come back to his own apartment to grab some clean clothes and pick up his mail before work that night. He hadn't been home in a few days and he wanted to make sure he hadn't missed anything important.

He practically bounced across the foyer to the mailboxes, singing to himself as he turned the key and opened his cubby-hole. One small white envelope lay at the bottom of the box. He recognised it immediately as another visiting order. He tore it open and read it. It was dated for the next morning at 9am.

He was about to tear it up when he thought about Nick. Face your fears he thought to himself as he stared at the clear black type, standing out against the stark white paper.

He tapped the visiting order against the palm of his hand, thinking over his options. He could tear up the order as he always did, or he could be a man and prove to himself that he wasn't scared of John. Not anymore.

He finally decided that he would go to the prison and see what John wanted. There had to be a reason why he was so desperate to talk to him. He wouldn't tell Nick about it though. There was no need to worry him when he had so much going on already, what with his parents and everything. No, better to keep it to himself until he knew what was going on.

He shoved the order in his back pocket and made his way to the elevator. He'd face his fear.

Greg pulled into the visitor's parking lot at Cartwood penitentiary, but left the engine running for a while. He debated turning around and driving home again without stopping, but his curiosity at John's repeated invitations got the better of him. He switched the engine off and locked the door behind him, making sure the vehicle was secure before he left it.

He walked slowly to the main reception and showed his visiting order and his ID to the pleasant young woman behind the counter who shot him a flirty smile in return. Greg figured she was probably just glad to see someone of the male sex who wasn't a rapist or a murderer.

He signed the visitor's log and was given a laminated pass with VISITOR in large red letters printed on it. He clipped it to his shirt and then stood with his arms outstretched to let the stocky guard pat him down and sweep him with a metal detector. He could smell the stench of sweat from the large man and tried not to breathe in as he lifted his arm to sweep the detector across Greg's head and through his hair, revealing perspiration stains under the arms of his light brown uniform shirt.

Finally the guard was satisfied that Greg wasn't carrying anything and nodded for another guard to key in the code to open the door. It opened with a loud buzz and Greg stepped through into the blue-walled hallway, following yet another guard to the visitor's room.

"Last chance to turn back." he said to himself under his breath, but pressed ahead and entered the visitor's room. It was a long, narrow room, it was obviously a larger room split in two by the Perspex windows separating the prisoners from the visitors, and separated again into at least twenty booths.

"Booth twelve." the guard informed him before turning and walking back up the corridor.

Greg walked past the row of visitors, ranging from wives visiting their husbands to Lawyers dealing with clients, catching little snippets of one-sided conversations as they spoke into the telephone handsets.

He continued down the line until he came to the twelfth booth. Behind the Perspex screen John was sitting biting his nails nervously, his eyes trained on the floor. Greg could tell by the way his body was trembling slightly that he was shaking his leg under the table, a habit he had always fallen into when he was nervous.

Greg fixed a neutral expression on his face and stood tall before the other man as John looked up at him with an expression of shock and surprise. He mouthed a few words and then pointed to the handset, picking his own up and pressing it to his ear.

Greg sat down and picked up the handset.

"Jesus Greg, you actually came." John smiled, pressing the palm of his free hand against the screen for a second. "I've sat here week after week hoping that you would show up, but I don't think I expected you to actually do it."

"What do you want, John?" Greg said matter-of-factly, the calmness in his voice the opposite of the churning in his stomach.

"God, you look great." John exclaimed, ignoring the question. Greg took in the other man's unkempt appearance, he had lost weight and sported an unflattering beard, his once shaggy dark hair shaved close to his head.

"Yeah? You don't." he said almost spitefully, shifting uncomfortably in his seat under John's intense gaze.

John blushed beneath the dark straggly beard and ran his hand over the bristle of his shaved head. "Doesn't pay to look too pretty in here, if you catch my drift." he sighed. "This gives my cellmate a little something less to hold on to."

Greg understood exactly what he was referring to. John was obviously his cellmate‘s bitch, something he found quite ironic under the circumstances. "Do you expect me to feel sorry for you or something?" he asked, now losing the battle to keep his voice steady.

John shook his head, his brown eyes cast downwards. He looked very much a broken man. "You wanted to know why I sent you a visiting order, well the reason I needed to see you was that I wanted to apologise and hopefully explain why I..... did what I did to you."

Greg fought the urge to replace the handset in its cradle and run out of the building, he wasn't sure if he had the strength to listen to this. Instead he hooked one foot around the leg of his chair as an anchor and held on to the handset so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

After seeing that Greg wasn't going to say anything, John began his explanation. "After we broke up...." he started, his voice shaking. "After that, I kinda lost the plot. I got heavily into the party scene and started drinking too much and experimenting.... you know.... with the latest uppers and stuff. I wasn't thinking straight, I missed you so much and I just wanted you back, that's why I kept calling and writing to you, I just wanted a second chance."

Greg leaned forward stared at John through the see-through barrier. "You didn't exactly have a firm grip on the plot when we were together." he spat.

John put his free hand up in a surrender pose. "I know, I know. I regret that more than you can ever imagine. It was just hard on me, you know? You always... you worked such strange hours and I would get paranoid that you were seeing someone behind my back, even though in my heart I knew that you weren't. That's why I got so possessive. I'm sorry about that, really I am. If I hadn't been such an ass when we were together then you might never have dumped me and I wouldn't be in here now."

"Why did you come to my place that morning?" Greg asked, feeling a little bile rise in the back of his throat. He didn't want to relive that day but part of him needed to know why it had happened.

"I'd been partying all night, taking all sorts of shit I could get my hands on." John explained. "I'd been dancing and getting pretty hot and heavy with a guy who looked just like you. He wanted me to go back to his place, but I was so high that I got confused and found myself outside your apartment instead. When I realised where I was I decided that I needed to talk to you. That's all I can really remember. I know that something set me off and I got wildly jealous, but I can't remember what, and after that it's pretty much a blank."

John shifted in his chair and waited for Greg to say something. Greg ran the explanation through in his mind.

"You remembered enough to get rid of the clothes you were wearing and try to get out of Vegas." he reminded him finally.

"I woke up in my car in the middle of nowhere, covered in blood." he choked, his face set in a grimace. "I knew I'd done something..... God, something terrible, but I didn't know exactly what it was until the cops found me in that motel and arrested me. I burned the clothes I'd been wearing, but I didn't even think of getting rid of the shoes. I still wasn‘t thinking straight at that point. Just kept denying that I‘d done it."

Greg was surprised to see a tear trickle down John's face. "I'm just so sorry Greg." he sniffed. "I just hope that someday you can forgive me. I‘m doing everything I can to change."

"Are you clean now?" Greg asked, trying not to let himself feel sorry for his attacker, but that little bit of sympathy at just how pathetic John's life had been was creeping in. "No more drugs?"

John nodded and forced a laugh. "Yeah, which is quite ironic considering it's easier to get the stuff in here than it is in the clubs. I‘m really trying, Greg. I don‘t want to be that guy anymore."

Greg nodded. "It's a start." he sighed, checking his watch. "Look, I should go, Nick will be wondering where I am." He winced when he realised he'd mentioned Nick's name, he hadn't meant to. He prepared himself for John's response.

"Nick?" John's voice was small and tight through the phone line. "You're seeing someone?"

Greg just nodded, swallowing down the lump that had appeared in his throat. John's face broke into what looked like a genuine smile. "That's great, I'm happy for you. You deserve someone special. You're a good guy, Greg."

Greg breathed a huge sigh of relief. John obviously didn't remember much about the attack if he hadn't made the connection with Nick, as it was Nick who had made him so jealous in the first place. Still, he didn't fancy hanging around in case John did remember just who Nick was.

He stood up, still holding the handset. It's plastic spiral link stretched to its limit as he stepped backwards, away from the Perspex screen.

"Listen, I've really got to go....."

John cut him off. "Greg..... There's one more thing. I've got a parole hearing this week. If you came and explained that you've forgiven me for what happened then it might go a long way towards helping them make their decision." He looked up at Greg hopefully.

Greg sat down again, his mouth gaping open in disbelief. "So that's why you were so desperate to apologise to me!" he fumed. "You were looking for an escape route! And I almost took your apology as genuine." he shook his head at his own gullibility and laughed humourlessly. "Nice try John."

John looked suddenly panicked. "No, that's not what I meant!" he cried out. "I just thought that as we seemed to be getting on so well...."

"Forget it, I shouldn't have come." Greg said, slamming the handset back into the cradle and storming out of the room. He cursed himself for his own stupidity as he signed himself out and handed back the visitor's pass.

He stopped at the store on the way home and bought some comfort food of chocolate ice cream and a six-pack of beer, picking up a bag of Nick's favourite chips at the checkout as an afterthought. He stuffed them in the trunk of his car and headed over to Nick's place, he desperately needed to feel Nick's strong arms around him, smell the scent that he loved. He looked at his watch as he pulled up outside Nick's house. It was still early, the other man would probably still be asleep.

He quietly turned the key in the door and opened it, then crept into the kitchen and stashed the ice cream in the freezer and the beer in the fridge, leaving the bag of chips on the counter.

He toed off his sneakers and walked silently to the bedroom, opening the door with an almost inaudible squeak. He entered the darkened room and made a jolt of surprise when he found Nick sitting up on the bed, his arms curled around his bent knees and his head buried into the space between. His body trembled with the small, choking sobs that were emanating from him.

Greg ran to the bedside and dropped onto the mattress beside Nick, reaching a hand out to try and lift his head. Nick startled at the contact and sat up straight, wiping his face with the back of his hand. Greg noticed that his face was pale and stained with tear-tracks, his eyes red and swollen.

"What's wrong baby?" Greg asked, his voice barely a whisper. He pulled Nick close to his chest and caressed a hand through the soft dark hair. Nick continued to sob, his body hitching with each one as if he was having trouble even taking a breath. "Talk to me Nick, you‘re scaring me." Greg pleaded, his voice desperate.

"Cisco." Nick managed to croak. Greg's heart leapt into his throat. Had Nick already told him about them being together, about being gay?

"What happened? Tell me." he murmured into Nick's ear. Nick choked on another sob and pushed away from Greg, standing up and moving to the window. He pulled up the blackout blinds and light streamed into the small bedroom, illuminating his sickly pallor.

"I got a phone call from my Mom." he sniffed, trying to regain control of his emotions. "Cisco's in the hospital. They think it's a major heart attack." He turned and faced Greg, his hands clenched into fists. "He flat-lined in the ambulance on the way there, but they managed to shock him back. My Dad was dead Greg! I was here sleeping and my Dad was dead!"

Greg rushed to his side and pulled him into a hug. "Oh God Nick." he sighed. "I'm so sorry, I'm really really sorry."

"I gotta go down to Texas." Nick said in a broken voice. "There's so much to organise, I just want to be there." He looked at Greg through tear-sticky eyes and whispered, "Help me, Greg."

His voice was so pitiful, he sounded so scared and lost. Greg fought back his own tears, knowing that Nick needed him to be strong right now, needed him to take control. "You get packed." he said. "I'll organise a flight and talk to Grissom, explain everything. You just concentrate on getting your things together, OK?"

Nick nodded gratefully. "I wish you'd been here an hour ago." he hiccupped, wiping his nose on his sleeve. Greg felt the guilt rise like fire in the back of his throat. "I tried calling you but your cell was switched off, where were you?"

"Um... dentist." Greg lied, feeling his cheeks burning. He cursed himself for wasting his time visiting John when he should have been with Nick. "I'm sorry, if I'd known...."

The phone ringing interrupted him, and Nick leapt on it, pushing Greg out of the way to get to it.

"Hello? Mom, what's happening? Oh God. Yeah, I'm trying to organise a flight now, Gre....." he caught himself just in time, "I'm going to call Grissom as well, get time off. I'll be there as soon as I can. OK, I'll come straight to the hospital. I love you Mom."

He put the phone down shakily and collapsed back onto the bed, all the energy completely sapped from his body. On seeing Greg's questioning look he forced himself to speak. "He's gone straight into surgery for a triple bypass. They don't know if he's strong enough to cope with the anaesthetic but the Doctor says he'll die anyway if they don't try."

Greg planted a kiss on the top of his head and left the bedroom, wiping the lone tear from his eye as he pulled out his cell-phone to call Grissom.

Nick stood up and pulled a bag from the back of his closet and mindlessly started throwing jeans, T-shirts and clean underwear into it. He couldn't concentrate on what he was doing, his mind was filled with images of his parents and imagined scenarios of his Father in surgery, the Doctors coming out to tell them there was nothing they could do, having to plan the funeral with his other siblings.... He shook his head to clear the images. He prayed that it wouldn't come to that. His Dad was a strong man, he had to come through this.

He numbly stumbled to the bathroom and grabbed some shampoo and his toothbrush and any other toiletries that were sitting around. All those were thrown into the bag as well as a couple of pairs of boots. He zipped the bag closed and pulled his jacket from the closet.

Greg came back into the room, tucking his phone into his pocket. "Grissom has given you as much time off as you need and I've booked you on a flight to Austin leaving in two hours. If you've got your stuff together we can leave as soon as you're ready."

Nick nodded and slung the bag over his shoulder, grabbing his wallet and his cell-phone. "I'm ready now. Let's go."

The drive to the airport was made mostly in silence. Nick spent the journey looking out of the window, willing the time to pass quicker. He just needed to be on that plane, needed to feel like he was doing something productive instead of sitting here in Greg's jetta watching the Vegas desert slip past him through the glass.

"I'll keep an eye on your place, OK?" Greg's voice suddenly broke through, and sounded much too loud to Nick's ears.

"OK." he mumbled, shifting in the seat but continuing to look out of the window.

Greg cast a quick look in his direction and sighed. The awkward silence hung between them for the rest of the journey.

~~~

Greg pulled into a parking space outside the airport and Nick jumped out of the car, grabbing his bag from the trunk and slinging it over his shoulder, seemingly oblivious to the weight of it. He walked quickly towards the terminal and Greg had to break into a jog just to keep up.

"Nick, your flight doesn't leave for another 90 minutes, you don't need to rush." he puffed, drawing level with his boyfriend.

Nick's face was set in a determined frown, his square jaw tight and twitching. "I just want to get checked in." he said in a thin voice.

They went through the security check and Greg absent-mindedly thought that this was the second time that day that he'd been through this procedure as he was swept with the hand-held metal detector.

Nick's bag was searched and then they were allowed to enter the airport. He headed for the desk of the airline he was flying with and got the ticket that Greg had booked for him. Greg queued with him as he waited to check in, but Nick didn't even seem to acknowledge his presence, he was lost in his own thoughts.

Greg nudged him when they reached the front of the queue and he got his bag weighed and checked in and was given his boarding pass. He walked on automatic pilot to the departure lounge and held out his boarding pass at the gate. The smartly dressed woman behind the desk took the boarding pass and tore it in half, handing one half back to Nick.

"Have a nice flight Sir." she smiled brightly, revealing a smudge of red lipstick on her teeth. Nick nodded dumbly and passed through the security barrier and on through the gate.

"Nick!" Greg called out, still stuck behind the barrier. Nick jolted at the sound of his own name and turned around to see Greg waving him over. He looked questioningly at the woman and she nodded that he could come back through.

"Sorry G'." Nick whispered. "I'm not thinking straight. Take care of yourself and I'll call you when I get there."

Greg pulled him into a hug, taking a deep breath to try and take in some of the scent that he would be robbed of for he didn't know how long. "I love you so much." he whispered into Nick's ear. "I'll be here waiting for you when you get back, OK?"

Nick nodded and turned back towards the gate, stepping through it and disappearing from Greg's line of sight.

~~~

The flight seemed to take forever. Nick had been assigned a window seat and he watched the clouds roll past for the majority of the flight, hoping that his Dad would be OK and would come through the surgery. He felt a sudden urge to pray, feeling that he was closer to God right now in the plane than he would ever be again.

After what felt like an age, the plane finally made its descent into Austin airspace. He fastened his seatbelt and gripped the handles of his seat as they touched down with a rather bumpy landing. He ran to the baggage claim but ended up having to wait 20 minutes before his bag finally rolled round on the conveyer belt. He tugged it off the belt and jogged outside to hail a cab to the hospital.

~~~

Greg drove back to his own apartment, the pounding bass of the classic Metallica ‘Black' album tearing through the car. He needed something loud and abrasive to try and fill the void that Nick had left. He dreaded to think how Nick would react if Bill Stokes died. He knew that all he could do would be to try and be there for Nick, no matter what. That's what love was, he figured.

The cab pulled up outside St David's hospital and Nick threw some bills at the driver, mumbling "Keep the change." as he jumped out, grabbing his bag from the seat beside him.

He threw the bag over his shoulder and made his way through the revolving doors to the reception. "I'm looking for Judge Bill Stokes' room." he asked the young male receptionist. "I'm his son, Nick."

The receptionist checked the files on his computer, scrolling through the records. Nick silently willed him to hurry up.

"Ah yes, you'll find Judge Stokes private room on the fifteenth floor." he said finally. "The elevators are to your left."

Nick thanked the young man and took the elevator, pressing the button a little harder than was needed. As the doors opened on the fifteenth floor he saw his mother and his sister Rachel waiting outside one of the rooms, looking anxious and on edge. When Jillian Stokes saw her son she gave a little gasp and then ran towards him, arms outstretched.

"Mom." Nick threw down his bag and embraced her, breathing in her familiar perfume. She looked older than he remembered from the last time he'd seen her.

"How is he?" he asked, putting both hands on her shoulders and pushing her out so he could look her in the eye.

She stepped back out of his touch and gave him a tight smile. He could see that she was trying to be strong, but her bloodshot eyes betrayed her. "He's just been brought up from Intensive Care, he came through the operation without any further complications and the surgeon thinks he stands an excellent chance. They‘re just getting him settled, then we can go in and see him briefly. He needs an awful lot of rest."

"Oh thank God." Nick choked, his legs giving way from under him. He leaned against the wall for support.

"His arteries were completely blocked. Hopefully the bypass will mean he‘ll have less chance of having another heart attack." Rachel said, coming up to them. He could see the small bump underneath her red jumper, her hand resting protectively on it. He reached out and put an arm around her, leaning down and kissing her on the forehead.

"Hey big sis." he smiled shakily. He always called her that even though she was only five foot two and fitted perfectly under his arm. "How's the bump?"

"Fine." she smiled back, patting it. She looked as if she was about to say more, but the Doctor came out of the room and joined them in the hallway.

"Judge Stokes is doing as well as could be expected." he informed them. "All his vital signs are looking good and his blood pressure is almost back to normal. It's still very early days but if he gets through the next 24 hours like this I'd say that the operation has been a success."

Jillian slumped against Nick's chest in relief, letting him take all the weight of her slight body. The Doctor continued to speak. "He'll be groggy for a while after the anaesthetic, and he still needs a lot of rest. Tomorrow we will do another EKG to check on any damage to his heart from the cardiac arrest. If you need anything, don‘t hesitate to have me paged."

Nick shook the Doctor's hand and thanked him before they made their way into the private room which Nick thought looked more like a hotel suite. Money talks he thought abstractly.

Bill Stokes was asleep in a large, comfortable looking bed in the middle of the room. He was hooked up to a heart monitor, with oxygen going into him through tubes in his nose. He looked as if he'd aged 20 years and had a deathly pallor on his usually tanned skin. Nick shuddered as he walked across to the bed and took a seat beside it. Rachel and his Mom both sat at the other side of the bed, Jillian taking her husband‘s hand carefully in her own.

They sat quietly, not speaking. The only sounds were Nick's watch ticking softly and the breathing of the four people in the room. All they could do was watch as Bill Stokes made his silent fight for life.

~~~

Greg tossed and turned in bed, finding it impossible to go to sleep. He missed Nick already, the bed seemed ten times bigger and so empty without him. He cursed himself for having washed his sheets since the last time Nick had stayed over. All they smelt of now was dryer sheets, a fake scent of cheap flowers.

He got up and padded to the bathroom to go to the toilet and remembered that he still had one of Nick's sweatshirts in his laundry basket. He lifted it out stripped off his T-shirt and boxer-briefs and wriggled into it. It still smelled like Nick. He held the material close to his face and inhaled the musky scent. The smell soothed him.

He climbed back into bed and managed to fall asleep within 10 minutes, his eyes trained on his telephone until they finally closed.

~~~

Nick hadn't realised that he'd fallen asleep until his Mom shook his shoulder gently. He jerked awake and she handed him a plastic cup of vending machine coffee. He took it gladly, scrubbing his free hand roughly across his eyes, wiping the sleep from them.

"How long was I out?" he yawned.

"A couple of hours," Jillian yawned too, "but your Dad's still asleep. Rachel left about an hour ago." She took a sip of her own coffee and grimaced.

"Not Blue Hawaiian, that‘s for sure." Nick mumbled, taking a sip of his.

"I'm sorry?" his Mom asked, sounding puzzled.

Nick had to think fast. "Oh, it's a connoisseur's coffee. Expensive, but worth every cent. A guy I work with got me on to it." Calling Greg ‘a guy he worked with' tasted more bitter on his tongue than the bad coffee did.

"Oh." she said, sounding uninterested, never taking her eyes off her husband's chest gently rising and falling. Nick remembered looking at Greg in the same way when he was in hospital after the attack and was struck by how much his parents must still be in love even after so many years together.

"Mom, I just got to go and make a phone call." Nick mumbled, standing up and stretching out the kinks from spending too long in a plastic chair.

"You can't use your cell-phone in here." his Mom warned him, pointing to the heart monitor.

"I know that Mom." he smiled, walking around the bed to kiss her on the forehead. "I won't be long, OK?"

He took the elevator down to the reception and made his way back out through the revolving door, switching his cell-phone on as soon as he got outside. He pressed his speed-dial for Greg's apartment. It was answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" Greg's voice sounded small and thick, and so far away.

"Hey baby." Nick sighed, just so relieved to talk to him.

"Nick!" He could hear the nerves in Greg's voice. "How's everything going?"

"The best it can, I guess. Cisco's through the operation, it's just a waiting game now."

"How's your Mom coping?"

"Pretty good, under the circumstances. The Doctors are going to do another EKG in the morning. I'm going to stay at the hospital tonight with her, there's no way she's moving from that room until he wakes up." Nick rubbed his thumb and forefinger across his tired eyes.

"Keep me posted, OK?"

"I'll call you when I can. I should go, I don't want to leave Mom alone for too long." Nick explained. "Just in case..... You know." he couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"Yeah." Greg seemed to understand anyway. "I've got to go to work anyway. Take care of yourself and I'll speak to you soon. I love you Nick."

"I love you too." he smiled tightly, the lump in this throat forming again. "Bye."

He pressed the end call button and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Hey baby brother." came a deep voice from behind him. He spun around to find his older brother Michael and his wife Susan standing there.

"Mike... Susan!" he stammered as he was pulled in for a hug from both of them at the same time. He hoped that they hadn't heard any of his phone call. "Did you drive down from Dallas?"

Susan flipped her dyed blonde hair and nodded. "We would have been here sooner but Louise was on a field trip with her school and we couldn't get away until she got home." she explained, referring to Nick's 15 year old niece. "But we're here now. Although it‘s late so we can‘t stay long."

"Mom's alone up there with him, so we'd better head up." Nick ushered them past the reception and towards the elevators. They made their way to the private room and quietly greeted Jillian. Nick pulled up another chair to the bedside and they all took a seat, talking in whispers across the sleeping man between them.

"So Nick, are you going to tell us about your new girlfriend?" Susan asked in her usual tactless manner.

Nick's eyes widened in shock, his mouth gaping like a goldfish.

"Leave him alone, Susan." Mike snapped. "I don't think this is the time or the place to be discussing my brother's love life."

Nick detected a little trouble in paradise between Mike and his high-maintenance wife. "Can I get you guys some coffee?" he asked hoping to defuse the situation, already standing up to get it.

"Oh no, I wouldn't drink the dishwater they serve from vending machines." Susan sniffed, examining her perfectly manicured nails. "We can't stay long anyway."

"We'll stay as long as we're needed." Mike said pointedly, rubbing a reassuring hand up and down Jillian's back.

Nick sat back down again and prepared himself for a long night.

~~~

Grissom had let Greg work in the lab for most of the night, and had then put him on a simple B&E, knowing that the young CSIs mind wasn't in Vegas, but completely focused on Nick in Texas. He was kneeling in the doorway of the house that had been broken into, a uniformed officer standing guard just outside to make sure that the perp didn‘t come back. He had just finished taking some fingerprints when his phone beeped and vibrated. He got it from his pocket and flipped it open, finding a text message from Nick that read No change, still asleep. Will call you once the Doctor has been. Love you.

Greg sighed and replaced the phone in his pocket, then carried on with his crime scene. He missed Nick more than he ever thought could be possible. It was as if someone had stolen half of his soul.

He checked his watch. It was only 7am. He wondered if Nick had managed to get any sleep at all.

Sighing, he gathered up the evidence and stashed it in his field kit, and made his way back to car to drive to the crime lab, pulling his shades on against the bright Vegas morning.

~~~

Nick sat with his Mom and yet another one of his sisters, Beth this time, drinking coffee in the hospital cafeteria. Uneaten sandwiches sat on a plate in front of them, Nick's futile attempt at getting his Mom to eat something. Instead she sat and tore up her empty Styrofoam cup, dropping the tiny pieces onto the table.

The Doctor was running some tests on Bill and had shooed them out of the room, telling them to come back in an hour. Nick looked at his watch. It had only been 30 minutes.

His Dad had woken a few times in the two hours before the Doctor arrived, but he'd been confused and disorientated. The Doctor explained that this was normal and that all the signs were looking positive, barring anything showing in the EKG.

Finally the hour passed and they made their way back up to Bill's room where the Doctor was waiting for them.

"Mrs Stokes." he said, shaking her hand in a greeting. "I'm pleased to say that all Judge Stokes' results look good. He'll have to stay in hospital for another five days at least, but that's just a precaution so we can monitor his progress. He'll need a lot of rest, but given the right lifestyle changes there's no reason why he shouldn't make a full recovery."

"What sort of lifestyle changes?" Beth asked, hooking an arm around her Mother's slim waist.

"A healthy diet, moderate exercise once he's recovered from the procedure and no undue stress. No big shocks." the Doctor explained, smiling kindly. "With those changes, he should have a long life ahead of him."

No undue stress. No big shocks. The words echoed inside Nick's head. It dawned on him that there was no way he was ever going to be able to tell his Dad he was gay, not now. The shock might kill him.

But how the hell was he going to break that to Greg?

Three days had passed since Nick had gone back to Texas and Greg was already missing him like crazy. They'd kept in touch on the phone and by text and email, but Greg had noticed that Nick seemed ‘off' each time they actually spoke in person. When he received the emails they all read as if he missed him and wanted desperately to get home and see him, but when they spoke on the phone Nick's voice seemed strained and as if he couldn't wait to end the conversation. He put it down to Nick still being worried about his Dad and tried not to think of it too much, just glad to hear Nick's voice.

But on the fourth day, Nick's strange behaviour had grown too much for Greg. The phone rang at just before midday and Greg leapt on it, hoping that it was Nick.

"Hello?" he said excitedly.

"Hey G'." Nick's voice was once again thick and strained.

"Hey Nick, how's everything going?" Greg took a seat and made himself comfortable, hoping to spend a while catching up with his lover.

"Cisco's progressing well, he'll be discharged in a couple of days." Nick's voice was definitely sounding more distant than ever.

"That's great news." Greg grinned, hoping that it would mean Nick coming home sooner rather than later.

"Yeah, it is. Listen, I've got to go." Greg heard the voice crack with nerves and he decided enough was enough. It was time to find out what was going on.

"No Nick, hang on, I need to talk to you." he said in a rush before Nick could put down the phone.

"What about?"

"There's something wrong here, isn't there?" Greg asked, biting his lip.

"Yeah there's something wrong, my Dad's in the hospital."

"No, I mean other than that." Greg tried to explain. "I get the feeling that you're keeping something from me."

Nick was silent for a long time, then Greg heard a long, slow exhale. "I didn't want to do this over the phone."

Greg felt suddenly cold, as if his blood had been replaced by ice water flowing through his veins. His heartbeat thumped in his ears.

"Do what?" he asked, not recognising his own voice.

"Greg.... My Dad has gone through a huge trauma." Nick began.

"I know."

"He can't..... he shouldn't be exposed to stress. No shocks to his system. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Not really."

"He needs me. I can't do anything to cause him stress. It means I can't.......... "

Greg felt hot tears prick behind his eyes, a feeling of dread growing like an iron weight in his stomach. "Oh God, you're moving back to Texas. You can't see me anymore."

"Jesus Greg! No, not that!" Nick exclaimed. "I'm not leaving, I'm not breaking up with you, I just.... I can't come out to my family like I promised you."

Greg let out a huge sigh of relief. "Nick, please don't freak me out like that. It's OK, don't worry about that now. I can wait until he's better. I don't want to make him ill just so we can move in together. There's plenty of time."

Silence at the other end.

"Nick, you still there?"

"No Greg. You don't understand. I can't tell him, ever. It could kill him."

Greg lost the ability to form coherent thought. "So what does that mean for us?" he finally choked, feeling his world crashing down on top of him, all his plans for the future crumbling. Everything he'd been planning and wishing for, obliterated with a few words. He knew in his heart that he should be supportive of Nick in this difficult situation, but right now it was all too much to take. He couldn't believe what was happening.

"Nothing has to change, we can go on as before. We just can't move in together or anything." Nick's voice was low and anxious. "And perhaps in the future, when he's..... gone," the word sounded almost painful for Nick to say, "then we can do whatever we want."

"No way!" Greg shouted, his anger and indignation building. His frustration and disappointment, coupled with his lack of sleep, made him unable to filter his thoughts. Even though he knew he shouldn't be getting angry, he couldn't help himself.

"Greg..."

"No, Nick! Your Dad could have another 20 years in him yet. I'll be 50 and you'll be approaching 60, do you really want to wait that long to build some sort of life together?"

"Greg, please let's not fight about this, I'll be home next week and we can talk about this face to face." Nick pleaded. "Look, you're a smart guy, surely you can see what a predicament I'm in here?"

"I know, I just.... A few days ago we were planning how you would come out and now you're telling me it can't ever happen. It's just a lot to take in."

"Yeah, well, you need to accept it, because it's not going to change. Look I gotta go. I'll call you later, OK?"

"Whatever." Greg spat, but Nick had already gone. He shook his head and slammed the phone down, burying his face in his hands and letting out a muffled scream of frustration. Nick had bolted right when he needed to talk things through with him the most. He felt as if Nick didn't care enough to hear him out.

Couldn't Nick see that all he wanted was to be with him without all the sneaking around and lying? For Nick to introduce Greg as his boyfriend and be proud of that? He didn't want to be the cause of Bill Stokes getting sick again, but he didn't think he could cope with this. He felt a crippling pain in his chest, and wondered if the human heart could literally break.

He stood up, kicked his coffee table over and stormed to the kitchen. He needed something to block out the pain he was feeling. A quick search through his cupboards turned up a bottle of vodka that had been left over from a party he'd had a while back.

He tore off the seal and took a slug straight from the bottle, not bothering with a glass. He took the bottle back to the living room and threw himself on the couch. "Here's to you, Nick Stokes." he scoffed as he took another slug, coughing as the burning liquid hit the back of his throat.

~~~

The alcohol had kicked in with a vengeance, and Greg had just fallen asleep face down on the couch, the empty bottle still dangling from his fingertips and scraping the floor each time he breathed.

The sound of his buzzer woke him, and he scratched his jaw, everything feeling fuzzy and off-balance. The buzzer kept sounding, and in his drunken stupor he thought it was Nick coming for him, forgetting that Nick was gone and the argument they'd just had.

"Nicky Nicky Nick." he giggled as he crossed the room and buzzed the door open, leaving his own door off the latch. "Nickeee forgot his key." he sing-songed. He collapsed into hysterical laughter at what he thought was a brilliant rhyme, then promptly fell over his own feet, landing in a bundle on the floor.

His door opened to reveal John standing there, dressed in a smart black suit with a silver tie, his face clean-shaven. In his alcoholic haze, it took him a moment to realise who it was.

"Johnny!" he laughed, holding a hand up for John to pull him to his feet, feeling a sense of drunken bravado. "Sharp suit, man, Shouldn't you be wearing an orange jumpsuit?" he slurred.

"Greg, what the hell....." John steered him back towards the couch. "Sit there, I'm going to make you some black coffee, OK?"

"Don't want coffee. Need more alcohol." Greg sulked, running his hand through his hair. "I can't remember what it was I wanted to forget."

"Have you taken all of this?" John asked, holding up the empty vodka bottle.

"Yep." Greg laughed proudly. "Now what the hell are you doing in my apartment?"

"I got parole this morning." John said, still trying to get Greg to sit down. "Look, I just came over to apologise for the misunderstanding at the prison, but it looks like you've got more on your mind than just that. How about I make that coffee and we can talk, OK?"

"I don't want to talk to you!" Greg pushed John away forcefully. "Get the fuck away from me, you son of a bitch. You don‘t get to talk to me. Not anymore."

"OK, OK." John held his hands up, trying to keep Greg calm. "Listen, what's Nick's number, I'm going to call him and get him to come over and take care of you. You shouldn't be alone in this state."

"Nick..... Nick's in Texas." The memories of his argument with Nick flooded into his mind with a searing clarity, cutting through the fog of alcohol. Greg dropped onto the sofa and hung his head. He was so confused. Nick was miles away and causing him so much pain, and John, the person who had treated him so badly in the past, was here taking care of him and making sure he was OK. It didn't make any sense, it was as if the world was spinning the wrong way on its axis. He was disoriented, all turned around.

"I don't know what's happening." he said quietly, hugging his knees. John disappeared into the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with a steaming cup of coffee.

"Drink this." he said in a soft, soothing voice. "As soon as I know you're OK I'll leave, but not until then, OK?"

Greg nodded and took a sip of the black liquid, only noticing then how much his hands were trembling.

John sat on the brown leather chair, leaving Greg plenty of space. Greg looked across at the man who had been both his lover and abuser, trying to fathom why he was there. "What do you want?" he asked shakily.

John sat forward and clasped his hands together. "I wanted to tell you that I was released in case we ran into eachother on the street, I didn't want you freaking out or anything. And like I said, I wanted to apologise for the misunderstanding when we talked the other day. I didn't ask you to come and see me just so I could be released, I just thought I‘d ask as it seemed to be going well. I could have kicked myself afterwards, because I really wanted to say how sorry I was for everything I've done to you in the past. Talk about screwing that up."

"Do you expect me to forgive you?"

John shrugged. "I don't expect you to do anything. I just wanted to come and say my piece. What you decide to do after that is up to you."

Greg nodded and took another sip of his coffee. It tasted good. "I can't think about that right now." he sighed. "I've got enough going on in my head."

"I'm taking it that it's the same thing that drove you to this?" John nudged at the empty vodka bottle with his foot. "It's not the answer Greg, believe me, I should know. Been there, done that. Got given the jumpsuit."

"I just wanted to..... not think so much for a change. Do I have a sign over my head saying ‘dump shit here' or something?" Greg sighed as he teetered between being drunk and sober. His head swam as he tried to straighten out his thoughts.

In the background, through the buzzing in his ears, he could hear John talking in a gentle voice, telling him how sorry he was for everything that had happened between them, how he regretted it, and asking was there anything he could do to make Greg feel better and how perhaps talking about his problems might help?

Greg could hear his own voice coming out of his mouth, but he had no control over the words. Before he knew what was happening, he had told John the whole story about what was going on between him and Nick, and Nick's Dad. By the time he was finished, his coffee was cold and his head was thumping.

John stood up and took the mug from Greg's loose grip. "I can't tell you what to do Greg." he said in a calm voice. "But I can tell you this much. You don't deserve to be treated like this. You're such an amazing guy, you deserve the best. You deserve a future."

"Since when did you get so sensible?" Greg mused. "You're like a different person."

"Since I got sober." John smiled. "And I am a different person. Perhaps...... a person you could be friends with someday?"

Greg let out a long sigh. "I don't know, John. Too much has happened between us. I probably shouldn't have even let you into my place today. I never would have if I hadn‘t been so drunk."

"Yeah, speaking of, I should go." John set the mug in the kitchen and then came back out and put his suit jacket back on. "You're a smart guy Greg. You'll make the right decision about Nick."

He walked over to the door and turned back to Greg. "Maybe I'll see you around." he said before closing the door behind him.

Greg lay back on the couch, more confused than ever. Why had he poured his heart out to John like that? It was the last thing he should have done. But the other man had seemed.... different from the guy who had attacked him. Perhaps he could forgive him someday. He rubbed his forehead roughly. There was too much to think about and his head felt as if it was about to explode.

He knew one thing for sure though. He had to talk to Nick.

Nick pushed the wheelchair up the hastily built ramp into the kitchen of his parents' ranch, his Father reaching out and shakily touching the wall as he passed as if he couldn't quite believe he was back in his own home.

"Here you go Cisco." Nick smiled, parking him in the spacious lounge and then coming around and kneeling in front of him. "Can I get you anything to drink, something to eat? Shall I put the TV on for you? Or perhaps you‘d like to go to bed?"

"Stop fussing over me Pancho." Bill still managed to sound gruff even with his weakened voice. "I'm just glad to be home. Just let me sit here for a while by myself."

"Sure thing, Cisco." Nick smiled, patting him on the shoulder as he passed. "I'm just going outside to make a phone call, but Mom's just in the kitchen if you need her, OK?"

He made his way outside and walked a short distance towards the stables.

"Hey there Midnight." he greeted the large black horse in the first stable, which snorted in response to him, tossing his glossy mane. "Perhaps I'll get a chance to take you out before I go home tomorrow, hey?"

Midnight whinnied and Nick rubbed his nose before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his cell-phone, pressing the speed-dial button for Greg's cell. It would be the first time they'd spoken since their argument. After a minute or so of ringing, the phone picked up.

"Hey Nick."

"Greg, I just wanted to let you know that Cisco's been released, we're back at the ranch, and everything's going well so I'll be flying back to Vegas tomorrow night. We can talk properly as soon as I get back, OK?" Nick held his breath, waiting for his boyfriend's reaction.

"Yeah, this isn't something that we should do over the phone. I'm off tomorrow night so I'll meet you at your place. I'll get you some milk and stuff in." Greg said lightly.

Nick was relieved about how calm and matter-of-fact Greg was being with him. He'd been expecting Greg to still be mad at him, had prepared himself for fireworks. Now he wasn't quite sure what to say now that Greg seemed to be taking things so well. "Oh, great, thanks baby." he finally answered, wondering why Greg hadn't offered to drive to the airport and collect him. He'd have to get a cab, he figured. Perhaps Greg wanted their reunion to be private.

"Yeah." Greg said almost inaudibly. "I'll see you tomorrow night." The next sound was a click and then the long beep of a disconnected call.

Nick replaced the cell-phone in his pocket and sighed. Why did everything have to be so difficult? He just longed for an easier life. He'd thought that once he'd started seeing Greg that things would get easier. Instead they seemed to be even harder. And he was stuck out here alone with no one he could talk to about it.

Midnight whinnied again and hoofed the ground of his stall, almost as if to remind Nick that he was there. "OK." Nick grinned as the horse nuzzled at him. "Let's take that ride now."

He walked Midnight into the large stable and got him brushed down and fitted with his saddle and bridle. When the horse was completely kitted out, he put his left foot in the stirrup and swung himself up onto Midnight's back. "Good boy." he soothed him, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he nudged the horse forwards.

They trotted across the grounds of the ranch until they got out onto the open plain. Nick encouraged Midnight into a gallop and they raced across the blanched ground, the hooves thundering against it, throwing up a cloud of dust behind them.

Nick relaxed into the ride, letting the rushing wind ruffle his hair and coat his clothes with dust. Midnight whinnied with joy at the freedom to run, taking Nick across the low fences with wild abandonment, the strong muscles quivering beneath the glossy black coat.

After a while they slowed down to a lazy trot and Nick stretched his head back and breathed in the wonderful scents of the land around him, listening to the birds singing and the sound of a small stream flowing just below him. It was like paradise. If Greg was here with me this would be perfect. he thought, then caught himself. Greg would never be there, he realised sadly. Greg could never share this part of his life.

He climbed off Midnight and tethered him to a nearby tree, then lay back on a rock and closed his eyes, feeling the sun beat down on his face. Thoughts of Greg filled his mind, he missed the other man so much, more than he would have ever imagined possible. He felt like he'd left a large part of himself back in Vegas.

It wasn't just the sex he missed, although he really did miss it, it was just the everyday things like eating together, going to the store, waking up curled around Greg's warm body. He didn't realise just how much Greg was now a major part of his life until he had to live without him. And now there was this cloud of uncertainty hanging over them, making everything feel strained. He was going to have to do something really special to try and make up for what had happened. Perhaps a weekend away if they could get the same nights off.

Midnight snorted, breaking Nick's thoughts. He looked at his watch and realised he'd been gone from the ranch for over two hours. He groaned and stood up, stretching his tired limbs and climbing back up onto the horse's back, cantering back towards the ranch as the sun began to set over the Texas horizon.

~~~

He awoke the next morning to the sounds of a busy household. After getting showered and dressed, which took a little longer than he'd intended after thoughts of Greg invaded his mind, he made his way into the large kitchen to find his entire family crammed around the old wooden table and a myriad of nieces and nephews running riot all over the house.

"What's going on?" he asked, kissing all his sisters hello.

"It's your last day so we thought we could all have breakfast together." His Mom was at the stove, making up a huge pan of scrambled eggs. "Your Father's still sleeping, but he made me promise we'd waken him when you got up. Beth, Michael, could you go and get him?"

His brother and sister left the table, and Nick took a spare chair and sat down. Everyone began talking to him at once, asking him about his job and if he had a girlfriend and when he was getting married, if ever. Nick managed to field the more awkward questions, finally let off the hook by everyone turning to watch Bill walk into the room, aided by Michael and still wearing his pyjamas and a robe. Nick knew how hard all of this must be on his Dad, who was a proud, independent man.

"Good morning everyone." Bill smiled weakly, as Michael helped him into a chair. Jillian walked over and planted a kiss on his forehead, setting a plate of fruit salad in front of him. "No eggs for me, then." he said, and everyone laughed uncomfortably.

"So, my flight's at six, so I need to be leaving here before four." Nick spoke as he ate, washing the slightly rubbery eggs down with plenty of orange juice. They weren't as good as Greg's, that was for sure. His lips twitched into a grin at the memory of Greg cooking eggs in his kitchen wearing nothing but an apron.

"What's with that smile?" Rachel asked, looking at him suspiciously.

"What smile?" Nick feigned innocence.

"That smile, right there." Rachel grinned, pointing.

"I'm just enjoying being around my gorgeous sisters." he laughed behind his juice glass.

"You're such a bad liar, Nicholas." she smirked back at him.

Nick just shrugged and went back to his eggs. The room filled with excited chatter again until Bill put his hand up to quiet them. "I just want to say something." he cleared his throat. "After what happened... well, I didn't think I'd be sitting here with all of you ever again. I thought my life was over, but I've been given a second chance. I want you all to know how much I love you."

Everyone fell quiet, not used to hearing their Father profess such sentiments. "We love you too Dad." Harriet, Nick's eldest sister voiced what they were all thinking.

The poignant moment over, everyone went back to their breakfasts. Nick scraped his plate clean and headed back into his bedroom to pack. Louise, Mike and Susan's precocious daughter, was sitting on his bed, swinging her legs. She looked up at him and popped her gum obnoxiously.

"So...." she asked, holding up Nick's cell-phone. "Who's Greg?"

Nick made a grab for the phone, but Louise snapped it out of his reach. "That's private." Nick fumed. "Give it to me."

"Miss you so much, can't wait to see you, love Greg." she read out in a loud voice.

"How dare you go through my text messages you little brat." Nick finally grabbed the phone off her and put it in his pocket, cursing himself for not deleting his inbox. At least she'd only seen this message, not any that were actually addressed to him personally.

"Are you a faggot, Uncle Nick?" she asked, leaning back on the bed. Nick had to think fast.

"No! No, this is a message that a guy I work with meant to send to his girlfriend but he accidentally sent it to me." he lied. "Got the wrong speed-dial. I'm going to give him hell over that, I can tell you. He'll be so embarrassed."

Louise raised her over-plucked eyebrows. "A hundred bucks."

"What?"

"A hundred bucks for me to keep quiet about this."

Nick realised that she was more like her mother than he'd ever realised. "No way Louise, I'm not giving you any money. There's nothing going on here."

"Mom!" Louise shouted at the top of her lungs. "Come into Uncle Nick's room, I need to tell you something."

Nick winced, rummaging in his jacket which was hanging in the closet for his wallet. "OK, OK. Look, you've got the wrong end of the stick here, but I don't want to cause any misunderstandings, your Grandpa's not up to that." He pulled out a hundred dollar bill. "Here, take this and keep your mouth shut."

Louise pocketed the cash with a sly smirk as Susan popped her head around the door. "Yes sweetheart?"

"Oh, I just wanted to tell you that Uncle Nicky says that I'm his favourite niece." Louise jumped off the bed and followed her mom out of the room, shooting Nick a smug look.

Nick dropped onto the bed and put his head in his hands. He just hoped that Louise would be smart enough to keep her mouth shut.

~~~

Greg let himself into Nick's house, his arms filled with brown paper bags full of food. He put the groceries away and opened the windows to let some fresh air in, try and get rid of the musty unlived in smell that lingered in the rooms.

He ran a cloth over any dusty surfaces and changed Nick's sheets for him, throwing the old ones into the washing machine and switching it to the right cycle.

Then, once everything was ready, he sat down on the couch and waited for Nick to get home. He sat in an almost catatonic state, his lack of sleep since Nick had told him about Bill's condition taking a heavy toll on him. He felt as if he couldn't think straight.

The loud music of his phone ringing shocked him out of the robotic daze he was in, and he flipped it open and answered it, not bothering to check caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hey Greg, it's John. Listen, I was just calling to make sure that you were OK after the other day. I've been worried. I didn't know if I should call or not..... But I figured if you didn't want to talk to me you could just put the phone down." he followed that with a nervous laugh.

"Nah. It's cool." Greg said in a monotone voice. "I'm alright."

"I tried calling your apartment first, but I couldn't get an answer, so I thought I'd try you on your cell."

"I'm at Nick's." he sighed into the phone. "He's getting home tonight, I'm gonna wait for him."

"You're not picking him up at the airport?"

Greg shook his head, and then remembered that John couldn't see him. "No. I don't know how things are going to go when I see him and I don't really want to do that in public if I can help it."

"Do you know what you're going to say to him?" John asked.

"I don't know for sure yet." Greg swallowed hard. "I guess we'll talk and see what happens."

"Remember...." John warned, "you deserve someone who can treat you right. If Nick's not willing to make some sacrifices for you...." he paused and took a deep breath, "well, perhaps he's not the right guy for you after all."

Greg scrubbed at his bloodshot eyes with the back of his hand, his tiredness almost overwhelming. "I love him, John." he said in a thick voice. "I don't want to lose him."

"I know. But it's not always enough. Listen, I should go, but you know my number if you ever need someone to talk to. I‘m guessing most of your friends are also Nick‘s friends, so it could get a little difficult to get an impartial opinion about things."

Greg had to agree that John was right. Since becoming a CSI he had drifted away from his old circle of friends, the long hours and heavy workload made it hard to maintain a friendship with someone who didn't share his hours, therefore he mostly hung out with the guys from work.

"I don't know, John." he said finally. "Too much has happened between us in the past. I know you say that you've changed, but.... I don't know if we can be friends. I don‘t know if I can trust you." Greg held his breath for John's reaction.

"I completely understand." John said calmly. "I can't really expect anything from you, not after how I treated you. Listen, you know where I am. I'll leave it up to you. Take care of yourself Greg, and good luck with Nick. I know that you're brave enough to do the right thing. Bye." With that, the phone went dead.

Greg was surprised by that. The old John would have freaked out at such a reaction, but now he really was like a completely different person. Greg sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He was usually a pretty forgiving person, after all he had forgiven Catherine for causing the lab explosion that had almost killed him and had scarred him for life. Perhaps he could forgive John, who was obviously trying so hard to be a better person.

He threw himself back on the couch and groaned. He couldn't think about it right now, not when his mind was full of Nick and his impending arrival. He looked at his watch, Nick's flight should have landed already so he'd probably be on his way home by now. His stomach lurched at the thought of what was going to happen when Nick walked through that door.

~~~

Nick slung his bag over his shoulder and stepped out of the cab, thanking the driver for the journey. Greg's jetta was parked right outside his house, and Nick felt a flutter of excitement at seeing his boyfriend after over a week apart, but it was mixed with nerves at how upset Greg would be about Nick having to keep them a secret from his family. He just hoped that Greg had had enough time to come to terms with the situation and accept it.

He pulled his keys from his pocket and opened the door, taking a deep breath before entering. Greg was sitting on the couch waiting for him, his head shot up as he heard the door opening.

"Nick." he said softly.

"Hey Greggo." Nick dropped his bag and stood awkwardly in the doorway. After a few seconds Greg jumped off the couch and launched himself into Nick's arms. "God, I missed you." Nick laughed into the side of Greg's neck, relieved at the warm welcome. "Missed you so much." He breathed in Greg's scent, sighing happily.

Greg pulled back and looked at him, and that's when Nick noticed the tears that were threatening to spill from his dark brown eyes. Perhaps the welcome wasn't as warm as he had hoped.

"Nick, I really love you, you know that, right?" Greg sniffed, dropping his hands from around Nick's waist. Nick nodded, feeling the twisting nerves returning, like snakes writhing in his belly.

"We need to talk." Greg explained, his voice shaky as he led them back to the couch. John's words about him deserving a future kept ringing in his ears and the more he thought about it, the more he agreed. He did deserve to build a proper life. And it was looking less and less likely that Nick could be the one to give him that life.

"I love you." he began. "But I feel as if this... us... " he stopped and tried to arrange his thoughts into something more coherent. "I want us to have a life together, a proper life, but if we can't be honest about this with your family then it's never going to work. I thought I could do it, but now I know that I can‘t. I‘m sorry."

"We can make it work, G'." Nick said, threading his fingers through Greg's, trying to reassure him. "We can find a way."

"I don't see how." Greg shrugged his shoulders. "We can't move in together. If you could say to me that this was just a temporary thing, that we could tell your parents once your Dad is fully recovered, then I could deal with that. I'd have some sort of timeline to work towards."

Nick shook his head. "Greg, I've already told you that it's not an option. I don't know if he'll ever be fully recovered. Do you think that I'm not upset about this? I want us to be together, I want to wake up beside you in our house every day, but it's just not going to happen. We have to keep our separate addresses, but it doesn't mean you can't stay over. Every night if you want to."

"I don't want to stay over, I want to live with you."

"OK." Nick wracked his brain, desperately tried to think of a compromise. "I could... tell my parents that you're my room-mate, that you're just a friend who needed somewhere to live. That way we can live together and they need never know the truth." He smiled at what he thought was a stroke of genius, but Greg's pained expression told him that it wasn't enough.

"Nick, I want more than that. I want us to have kids someday, I want this to be forever. And someday I want to get married, when it's legal here. I want a future, and if you can't tell your parents that we‘re a couple, then that's never going to be possible. We‘ve got to accept that." Greg exhaled shakily and wiped a tear from his cheek.

"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" Nick asked, dropping Greg's hand. He got up off the couch and stood over Greg with his hands on his hips. "Either tell my folks about us or it's over?"

"No Nick." Greg shook his head. "No ultimatum, because I already know what your answer's going to be. And I don‘t hold it against you. He‘s your Dad, you love him. Nothing will change that. I wouldn‘t want to." He stood up and took Nick's key from his pocket and placed it on the coffee table in front of him. The chink of metal hitting glass seemed to echo around the room. "But what that means for us..... I'm sorry Nick, but I can't go on like this."

"Greg.... No." Nick pleaded, grabbing Greg by the shoulders. "We can work something out, there's got to be some compromise. We'll find it."

"I don't see how." Greg laughed humourlessly, holding his hands up. "We can do this now, or we can keep going on this rollercoaster that's never going anywhere and have it be ten times harder when we finally come to our senses and realise that. We can't go on in this limbo, Nick. It's too hard."

"But... I love you. I've missed you so much, I couldn't wait to get home just to see you. I knew you'd be upset about this, but I never imagined...." Nick put a hand to his temple, trying to ease the throb that had suddenly appeared. He felt as if his whole world had been tipped upside-down, first Cisco who was always so strong had become so ill, and now Greg, who he'd thought was his soul-mate was breaking up with him. His head couldn't take it.

Greg was still standing there, as if he was waiting for Nick to make some sort of huge gesture. The Doctors warning about his Dad's health echoed in this head. There was no way he could risk giving Greg what he wanted. If it caused his Dad more ill health he would never forgive himself.

"Do you expect me to tell him and risk making him sick, maybe even killing him? Is that what you really want?"

"Of course not." Greg sighed, rubbing his own forehead wearily. "Look, Nick.... I'm not explaining myself right. What I'm trying to say is that I know how sick your Dad is. I understand why you need to keep this secret, I know that you can't tell him about us right now, God, the last thing I want is to make the man ill. Do you really think I want that on my conscience? Shit, Nick, do you think I'm really that selfish? But I can't leave things as they are either. So what I'm saying is... I'm making that choice for you. You don't have to tell your Dad anything now. I'm making things easier for you."

Nick felt as if he was falling with no signs of stopping. But Greg seemed determined to do this. "OK." he nodded finally. "You should probably leave then." He forced his voice to remain steady even though he felt as if he was dying inside. He folded his arms across his chest and kept an unwavering eye contact with Greg, even though his heart was screaming at him to take Greg in his arms and give him whatever he wanted just to make him stay.

Greg shifted under Nick's cold stare. He didn't know what he had expected Nick to do, but this acceptance of the situation certainly wasn't it. He kept telling himself that he was doing the right thing, that he deserved a future with someone who could give him what he wanted, but the more he said it, the emptier it sounded. So he told himself that it would be fairer on Nick not to have to live with the pressure of keeping such a big secret from his sick Father. That reason seemed easier to bear.

He took a deep breath and made his way towards Nick's front door. Turning back for one last look, he searched Nick's face for any sign that he should back down and admit that this wasn't what he wanted. But Nick's face was set in a determined grimace. Sighing, Greg walked out into the street, pulling his jacket tighter around himself against the chill of the Vegas night.

"God, I hope I've done the right thing." he said out loud as he walked towards his car. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he dialled in a number he hadn't used in what felt like forever. He needed to talk to someone, someone who could reassure him that he'd made the right choice. The phone rang three times before it was picked up.

"John? Can you .... can you come over?"

NB: Churchill referred to his depression as 'The black dog on my shoulder'

Nick held his frozen expression until the door slammed shut. As the noise reverberated around his small living room, the façade dropped and Nick allowed his true feelings to come forward. He picked up the discarded key and threw it at the closed door, crying out in pure frustration, his face red and twisted in pain. How could he have let this happen?

Greg was the one person who had managed to turn his life around, had made him happy for the first time in his life. And now it was all gone. He'd managed to screw this up as well as everything else in his life.

"No." he said to the empty room. "No no, I'm not letting him go that easily, we've got to try and work this out."

He quickly stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower, he didn't want to go out when he was so hot and sweaty from travelling. It would also give Greg a little time to cool off and think over what he‘d just done, which he thought was probably a good idea. He washed himself and dried off quickly, stepping into clean jeans and a black T-shirt. He grabbed his keys and jumped into his SUV.

The drive to Greg's apartment seemed to take forever, with hitting every red light on the way and waiting in line to get past a minor traffic accident. Finally he pulled up outside the building and let himself in through the main door, trying to come up with a solution to their problem, some way to keep everybody happy. Greg loved him, he knew that, and there had to be some way of working this out.

He stopped outside Greg's apartment and took a deep breath, wondering if he should knock or just use his key to let himself in. Finally he decided on the key, Greg mightn't let him in otherwise.

He turned the key in the lock and opened the door, gasping in shock when he walked into the room and saw Greg sitting on his couch, being held tightly by non other than John Bradley. He'd never seen the man in person, but he had looked at the mug-shot enough times to know the face.

"What the fuck?" he whimpered. He took in Greg's tear-stained, wide-eyed face and saw red, thinking that the other man was there to try and finish what he‘d started so many months before. He stormed over to the couch and grabbed John by the front of his white shirt and pulled him to his feet, moving the hand up to grasp at John‘s neck, squeezing hard enough to choke.

"Get the fuck away from him." he growled and landed a heavy punch on John's jaw, knocking him to the floor. "You're not going to touch him again, you son of a bitch!"

"Nick, no!" Greg screamed and dropped to his knees beside John. "John, are you OK?"

Nick couldn't understand what was happening. He thought he was saving Greg from his psycho ex, so why was Greg angry at him? It didn't make any sense.

"What's going on here Greg?" Nick ask, his voice wavering with confusion.

"I'm OK Greg." John put a hand to his jaw and cricked it back into place. "Look Nick, I don't blame you for being confused. Greg obviously hasn‘t told you about me."

"Obviously." Nick growled, his body still twitching with the urge to physically throw John out of the apartment.

He stood up slowly with Greg's help. "Greg came to visit me in prison last week, and I told him how sorry I am for everything that happened and explained why it did happen. He understands that I‘m not that person anymore. We've been talking ever since I was released and he's... he's forgiven me for what I did to him."

"Is this true?" Nick turned to Greg, his voice filled with disbelief.

Greg didn't say anything, but at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

"You went to see him and you didn't tell me?" he asked, hurt. "How could you do this Greg, the guy beat the absolute shit out of you and now you're.... you're friends with him? I don't get you. I really don't get you."

"I didn't set out to hide it from you, it wasn‘t like that." Greg tried to explain. "He started sending me visiting orders but I was just throwing them away. I didn't want to give you any stress over it so I kept it to myself. Then the first time I went to see him was the day you got the call about your Dad and I didn't want to give you anything more to worry about."

"Woah, hold on..." Nick held his hand up. "That's where you were? I needed you so much that morning, and you were visiting him? Jesus Greg, how could you?"

"Nick, let me explain..."

"No Greg. God, if I hadn't come after you tonight would you ever have told me about this? To think I was coming to see if we could work things out." he laughed sharply. "I think perhaps you had the right idea after all."

He threw the keys onto the couch and turned to leave. "Nick...." Greg tried again.

"Forget it. I don't even know why I bothered." Nick spat, and slammed the door behind him.

"Nick!" he cried louder, but Nick was already gone. He felt as if time was slowing down, as if he had to walk through mud to get to the couch.

"Fuck." he cried in frustration as he lifted the discarded keys. "I should go after him, explain."

"Greg, don't." John came in front of him and took the keys from him, holding onto his arms loosely. "What's it going to achieve? You've made the break, be strong and stand by your decision. If you go after him now, he'll only sweet-talk you into coming back to him and nothing will be resolved."

"But I can't leave it like this...."

"Greg look at me." John tightened his grip a little, but his voice was still calm. "Go and get some sleep, you're exhausted. There's no way you can think straight like this."

"But he looked so upset...." Greg flinched as he felt John's fingernails dig into his skin.

"Think of how upset he's made you, Greg. He's not right for you." John's voice was still low and steady, but his left eye was twitching a little as he talked. "He can't give you what you need."

Greg started to feel a little uncomfortable and shifted his body out of John's grip. "Listen John, thanks for everything, but you're right, I am tired, I think I should go to bed. I'll call you tomorrow, OK?"

John smiled widely, and Greg decided that he must have imagined the flash of jealousy that he thought he'd seen moments before. Even so, he wasn't sure that having John so close was such a good idea anymore. There was too much baggage there to go back to being friends.

"No problem." John nodded. "I've got to see my parole officer first thing in the morning anyway so I'd better get some sleep myself." He grabbed his jacket and slipped into it. "If you need anything, just call. You did the right thing tonight Greg."

"Yeah." Greg nodded, hugging his own body tightly. "I hope so."

John smiled and closed the door softly behind him, leaving Greg alone in his apartment. He stripped off his clothes and slipped between the cool sheets on his bed, finally allowing the tears to flow freely. If he'd done the right thing in breaking up with Nick, then why did he feel so bad?

~~~

Nick ran out of the building and over to the bushes, falling onto his knees. His stomach lurched and he felt the burning of acid rising in his throat. He opened his mouth and let the meal he had eaten on the plane come back up, the foul acrid stench of it making his eyes water. He spat the residual vomit from his mouth and sat back on his heels, looking up at the night sky.

How could Greg do this, how could he even bear to be near that guy? He couldn't fathom it. Greg was a bright, intelligent guy. How could he have let himself be sucked in by John again? Greg had told him all about John's possessiveness and jealousy when they‘d been dating, and no matter how much the guy may have claimed to have changed, Nick didn't trust him.

Suddenly another thought occurred to him, a thought which brought another wave of nausea. Could Greg be sleeping with John again? They had seemed pretty close when Nick had walked in on them. He looked up to the second floor of the building where the lights of Greg's apartment burned through the curtains. He could just make out the silhouette of two men, one holding the other by the arms as if to pull him into an embrace.

Nick retched again until there was nothing left in his stomach to come up. He gasped for air, trying to suck oxygen into his lungs which felt like they were burning. He managed to get to his feet and stumbled back to his SUV, leaning against it to get his breath back. He looked up just in time to see John leaving the building. He wiped his mouth and called over to the other man.

"Hey!"

John turned around with a look of surprise on his face, then hurried to his own car and jumped in, turning the engine over with a rough crunch before speeding out of the parking lot. At least that answered one question, John wasn't staying the night.

Nick climbed into his own car and sat there for a few minutes, wondering if he should go back up and try to talk to Greg again, without John there. Looking down at his vomit-stained T-shirt, he decided it would probably be best if he just went home. He realised he hadn't felt this exhausted since the first night he spent in the hospital after his kidnapping. He started his own engine and pulled out of the parking lot.

After a sleepless night of wondering what he should do about Greg, Nick finally came to a difficult decision. He got out of bed and, still dressed in only his boxer-briefs, carefully packed up all of Greg's things, everything that had migrated over from the other man's apartment to his place over the past few months. He put them all into a large cardboard box, including all the little presents that Greg had given him during their time together. Last to go was the photograph of the two of them that had sat on his bedside table. He sure as hell wasn't going to need that anymore.

Two pairs of smiling, dark brown eyes stared back at him from the photograph as if to ridicule him for his current unhappiness and parade what he could have had if he'd just had the balls to tell his parents he was gay in the first place. If he'd just done that, he wouldn't be in this position now.

With a huff of irritation he turned the photograph over so that it was now face down on top of the box, the mocking eyes hidden from view.

He showered, which took longer than usual because he'd packed the body wash and shampoo away as they belonged to Greg, and then dried himself off and stepped into clean jeans and a black button down shirt.

Balancing the box against his chest and hooking his arm around it, he manoeuvred through the doorway and out to his car, tossing the box into the passenger seat and climbing into the driver's seat beside it.

He spent the journey flicking between watching the road and watching the box. Three times he had to pull the SUV over to regulate his breathing, telling himself that he was doing the right thing, that it was what Greg wanted. But still there was that voice in his head telling him that he was making the biggest mistake of his life.

He pulled up outside Greg's apartment and struggled to hold the box and reach up to press the intercom buzzer at the same time. Finally common sense kicked in and he set the box down and buzzed. One long buzz, not his usual trademark rhythm.

"Hello?" Greg's voice crackled.

"Hey. It's Nick." he said simply.

"What do you want?" Greg sounded agitated and upset, his voice seemed much too thick and deep. Nick wondered if he'd been crying.

"I've got some of your stuff, I thought you might want it back."

The door buzzed open and Nick bent down to lift the box, then pushed his way through and walked across to the elevator. Greg was waiting by his open door in the hallway, and Nick had a mental flash to the first day they'd made love, how he'd come up in the elevator for the first time by himself and Greg had been waiting for him, his face shining with pride and love.

He shook that thought from his mind, that was a long time ago. Things had changed beyond recognition now. Greg was waiting for him, but this time his face was puffy and swollen from crying, his arms folded in a protective stance across his body instead of openly calling him into an embrace.

"Hey." he nodded, not really knowing what else to say.

"Hey." Greg echoed, making no attempt to move from the doorway. Nick set the box down outside the door and felt a sudden awkwardness at what to do with his hands. He decided it would be safer to shove them in his pockets, removing any temptation to reach out and touch the man in front of him.

"I.. ah... I thought you might need this stuff so I wanted to get it back to you as soon as possible." he stammered. "If you come across anything of mine in your place, you can just bring it into work. That's fine."

Greg looked down at the box and noticed the back to front photograph. He reached down and picked it up, realising it was the one he'd given Nick of the two of them. He let it drop back into the box again and straightened up, kicking the box through the open doorway.

"OK." he said with fake indifference, but inside he felt as if his heart was shrivelling into a tiny ball of lead. All he wanted to do was to tell Nick he loved him. He had to bite his lip to stop himself from accidentally saying it.

They stood in uncomfortable silence for what seemed like an age before Nick finally snapped out of the haze he had slipped into. "So.... I guess I'll see you at work tonight. We should probably try to be civil there, at least."

Greg's head was turned to one side, as if he was listening out for something, his face twisted in concentration.

"Greg?" Nick interjected.

"Shhhh." Greg held his hand up to quieten him. "Do you hear that?"

Nick stopped to listen, but all he could hear was his own heartbeat pounding in his head. "No. What is it?" he whispered.

"I don't know." Greg began an exploration along the hallway, even though he was barefoot and still dressed in the T-shirt and sweatpants that he had slept in. Nick followed closely behind, still not hearing anything but believing that Greg had.

Suddenly Greg stopped and Nick almost bumped into him. "That's Mandu." Greg whispered, leaning closer to the door. Nick leaned in as well, and finally heard what Greg had been referring to. He could hear the sound of the cat yowling. It was a haunting sound, almost like a baby crying.

"Mrs Freidman?" Greg called, knocking on the door. "Mrs Freidman, it's Greg." There was no answer so he tried knocking louder. "This isn't right." he said to Nick. "She always answers the door to me, no matter what time of the morning it is. Mrs Freidman!" he shouted, hammering on the door now. "Oh God, Nick." Greg thumped on the door one last time, looking at Nick with wide, frightened eyes. "Mrs Freidman, if you can hear me, shout. Just let me know you're OK!"

Silence, and then another howling cry from Mandu.

Nick took a step backwards and launched himself against the door, cracking the lock in the doorframe with a splintering crunch. Greg tore past him and into the living room, where Mandu was sitting on the table, meowing mournfully.

The living room was empty, so Greg moved on to the bedroom. He found Mrs Freidman still lying in bed, one hand reaching out towards him and grasping nothing but air, her nightgown and the sheets in front of her covered in vomit. Her eyes fluttered, and even in the dim light it was obvious how pale she was. Her breathing was heavy and laboured.

"Oh God, no." Greg cried, rushing towards her. "Nick, call an ambulance!" he screamed. Nick grabbed his cell-phone and immediately dialled 911. "I think it's her heart." Greg said, sitting the old woman up to make it easier for her to breathe.

Nick put his phone back in his pocket and went to the window to open it, letting fresh oxygen into the stuffy room. As he pulled the curtains back he was engulfed in the bright Vegas morning sun, the light illuminating the room for the first time in years.

Mrs Freidman turned her head to look at Nick, who was bathed in sunlight, and smiled gratefully, trying to reach out for him. "William." she wheezed. "My love, I knew you'd come for me." Her hand dropped, her head lolled forward and the wheezing abruptly stopped. The room went suddenly ice cold, despite the warming sunshine.

Nick looked at Greg, confused as to why the old woman had called him William. Greg didn't say anything, just continued to hold her in his arms, rocking her ever so slightly.

Mandu yowled and jumped onto the bed beside her, nudging at her lifeless body with his blunt nose.

"Greg." Nick said softly. "She's gone. She's gone Greg. Come on."

Greg carefully laid her body down and stepped away from the bed. "I was too late." he choked.

"I'm so sorry Greg." Nick shook his head sadly, squeezing him on the shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting touch. "I know how close you were."

Mandu gave one last cry and then climbed onto Mrs Freidman's lap, curling into a ball. He lowered his head and looked up at them with his large green eyes.

"He knew." Greg said almost inaudibly, his arms wrapped around himself as if to try and keep warm. "He knew she was dying."

Nick looked down at the old woman, wondering if this was how his Mother had found Cisco on the morning he‘d had his heart attack. He shook the thought from his mind, Cisco had got to the hospital in time, he'd been brought back, given another chance. He should be grateful for that instead of worrying about what might have happened. He needed to keep his head in the here and now, needed to be alert for Greg, who was obviously slipping into a state of shock.

He steered Greg out of the room and closed the door softly behind them. "You sit down." he said. "I'll cancel the ambulance and send for the coroner."

Greg walked dumbly to the armchair and dropped into it. Nick made the necessary phone calls and then came to sit beside him on the arm of the chair, caressing the nape of Greg's neck like he always did when he was trying to reassure him. He realised with a jolt that it wasn't his place to be touching Greg, they weren't a couple anymore. He knew that Greg needed support, but he didn't want to overstep the boundaries. He carefully withdrew the hand.

Suddenly Greg got up and started rummaging in the small drawer beneath the television table. He got to his knees and pulled the drawer out, scattering its contents on the floor.

"What are you looking for?" Nick asked, joining Greg on the floor.

"Her address book." Greg explained. "She always used to tell me it was in here in case of emergencies. I need to get in touch with her son, he lives in Chicago. He'll want to know as soon as possible."

Nick nodded and joined Greg in the search for the elusive book. "I don't understand it, she told me it was in here." Greg's voice was thick and strangled, and Nick knew that he was close to tears. "I should have found it by now. I‘m so fucking useless."

He reached across and put his own hand over Greg's shaking one. "Greggo." he whispered. "This wasn't your fault. She was an old lady, it was her time. There's nothing you could have done to save her."

Greg looked up at him with wide, watering eyes. "If I'd just checked on her earlier....." he said, his lower lip quivering.

"It wouldn't have made any difference." Nick soothed, squeezing his hand. "At least she wasn't alone when she died. You gave her that much. She had someone she loved at her side."

At those words Greg broke down completely, and Nick pulled the trembling body against his chest, wrapping his arms around Greg's back, feeling the goose bumps on his skin even through the cotton of his T-shirt.

Greg let himself sink into Nick's warm embrace, nestling his head further into the man's muscular chest, soothed by the familiar scent and touch. As his sobbing subsided, he remembered that he shouldn't really be this close to Nick. He'd lost that right when he'd told him that they shouldn't see each other anymore. He knew that Nick was being supportive because that's the kind of guy he was, but he wasn't Nick's problem anymore.

As much as it pained him, he pulled away from the tight embrace, wiping his swollen eyes with the back of his hand. "You should probably go." he said, even though he wanted nothing more than to let Nick stay and take control of the situation. He wanted to tell Nick that he was sorry and that he wanted him back, that he didn't want to be alone, but it was too late. He'd fucked it all up and he only had himself to blame.

Nick was watching him, his dark brown eyes full of concern. Greg couldn‘t take it, the longer Nick looked at him like that, the harder it was becoming not to blurt out how much he loved him and needed him.

"I can stay as long as you need me to Greggo." Nick said finally. Greg winced at the use of his nickname. It only served to make things more difficult, made things feel too intimate.

"I'm fine. I'd rather wait for the coroner by myself." he lied. "I'd like to look for the address book in private."

"If you're sure?" Nick asked, getting to his feet.

"Positive." Greg nodded, not raising his eyes from the floor. "I'll probably call Grissom, see if I can get some time off, so I guess I won't see you in work until after the funeral."

"Oh. OK." Nick walked to the door and took one last look back at Greg, who was sitting on the floor surrounded by trinkets and scraps of paper that Mrs Freidman had accumulated. He was sorting through each piece of paper methodically, trying to find one that might contain the number he was searching for.

Nick sighed and closed the door behind him, even though it was killing him to leave Greg alone like that.

~~~

The funeral was arranged for a few days later. Greg had managed to get in touch with Mrs Freidman's son Billy, who had left all the arrangements to Greg but had flown to Vegas in time to attend the funeral. Mrs Freidman's Grandson Steven and his partner Rob had also flown in from New York. Billy was a tall, well built man with silvery hair and strong features, like his Father. Steven was just as tall, but more slender and with much finer features. He had long dark hair pulled into a pony-tail and sported a goatee beard. He looked much the same age as Greg. Rob was smaller, with dark skin and closely shaved hair, and a ready smile.

Greg stood at the graveside as the Minister read from his bible, looking across at Mrs Freidman's family, thinking that it was a shame that this was the first time he‘d met them even though he‘d been living opposite Mrs Freidman for over 8 years. He resolved to visit his own family more often. That reminded him that he still needed to call them and tell them he'd broken up with Nick.

There was a definite chill in the Vegas afternoon air, and Greg pulled his black suit jacket tighter around his body, snapping out of his thoughts in time to hear the few that had gathered say ‘Amen'.

Billy Freidman shook hands with the Minister and then came over to Greg. "Thank you for everything Mr Sanders." he said as he took Greg's hand and shook it firmly. "My mother was very fond of you, she spoke of you often. It was a great comfort for me to know that someone was looking out for her."

"I think it was usually her looking out for me." Greg half-smiled. "She meant a lot to me."

Billy nodded, buttoning his coat.

"Can I ask something?" Greg said. "I noticed that Mrs Freidman never opened her curtains. Why was that?"

Billy smiled sadly, his eyes getting slightly moist. "She used to say that she could feel my Father's spirit still in the apartment. She was afraid that if she opened the windows or the curtains, or even leave the door open too long, he might leave her. Silly, I know."

Greg thought it was anything but silly. He knew how much the old lady had loved her husband.

Steven and Rob joined them, and they spent a few moments chatting before Billy looked at his watch and clicked his tongue against his teeth. "I should really go, my flight is in three hours and I need to stop by the apartment to pick up the cat and leave it at the animal shelter."

"You're going to put Mandu in a shelter?" Greg asked.

Billy nodded. "My wife is allergic to cats so I can't take it home, and Steven can barely look after himself let alone an animal."

"Yeah, thanks Dad." Steven rolled his eyes and Rob threw an easy arm around his shoulders and squeezed. Greg felt a flare of jealousy at their obvious love for each other.

"I'll take him." he blurted out before he realised what he was saying.

"Are you sure?" Billy pressed. "You've already gone to so much trouble, I really can't impose on you anymore."

"I'll take him." Greg repeated. "I bought him for her, and named him. I've been going in and feeding him these past few days anyway. It seems right that I should look after him permanently for her."

Billy looked at Steven, who nodded his agreement. "We'll be coming back in a couple of weeks to clear out her apartment, but you can go in and get the cat and anything else you need for it. You still have a copy of the new key, obviously?"

Greg nodded. He had got the Super to change the locks and repair the damaged frame after Nick had kicked the door through, and had given Billy the keys before the funeral.

"Thank you, I really appreciate this." Billy smiled gratefully.

"It's fine." Greg assured him. "I could do with the company."

They shared more handshakes and then the other men left, leaving Greg standing alone at the graveside. He kneeled down and laid a single red rose on top of the mahogany coffin.

"Sleep well, Mrs Freidman." he said against the lump in his throat. "I'll take good care of Mandu for you, I promise. He can even sleep on my bed if he wants to. I know he likes that."

He gently touched the dark wood with his fingertips before straightening up again. In his peripheral vision he thought he caught a flash of black, but when he looked up there was no one there.

"Thanks for everything." he whispered as he turned away from the grave. Standing right behind him, dressed in a black suit and holding a peach rose, was Nick.

"Nick!" he gasped as his body gave a little shudder of shock. It was the first time he‘d seen him since asking him to leave him alone in Mrs Freidman‘s apartment. "What.... what are you doing here?" he stammered, trying to keep it together.

"Thought you could probably do with a friend." Nick shrugged, laying the rose down beside Greg's on top of the coffin and then reaching across and squeezing Greg gently on the arm.

Greg felt the last bit of resolve melt away. With tears rolling down his cheeks, he allowed himself to say what he'd been fighting ever since he'd told Nick it was over.

"I don't need a friend." he sniffed. "I need you. God, Nick, I'm so sorry, I should never have said all that stuff about deserving more than you could give me. It's all bullshit, that's not what's important. I just want to be with you, I don't care about anything else. Since we broke up.... I've felt like I was slowly suffocating without you. I love you Nick. I miss you."

Nick moved closer and put his hand behind Greg's head. "Shh, don't cry." he smiled, but his own eyes were watering.

"Do you think we can get past this?" Greg asked, his bloodshot eyes wide and questioning. Nick felt as if those eyes were penetrating his soul.

"I don't know." he answered honestly. "Nothing's changed. I still can't tell Cisco about us. How long before you decide that you can't live with that and we do this all over again? That was what you didn‘t want, remember?"

Greg sighed and looked down at the grave. "Mrs Freidman married her husband even though he was leaving for the war the next day. She didn't know if he would ever come back to her, but she married him so that they could have that one night together. Just being in love with him was all she wanted. She didn‘t know if they were going to have a future, but she made that commitment anyway."

"That must have been hard." Nick agreed. They stood in silence for a few minutes, looking at the coffin and the flower arrangements.

"Do you still love me?" Greg asked suddenly.

"Of course I do." Nick said finally. "But.... I don't know Greg. Losing you once was hard enough, these past few days have been hell. I don't think I can do it again."

"You don't have to lose me ever again." Greg pleaded, resting the palm of his hand against Nick's crisp white shirt. Nick could feel how cold his hand was. He covered it with his own and rubbed the frozen skin, trying to warm it.

"We should get you home, G'." he said. "You're freezing."

"I don't care." Greg whispered, the words carried away by the now biting wind. The clouds darkened and closed in on each other, obscuring the light of the sun, layering the cemetery in shades of grey. Greg's pale face seemed almost luminous in the dim light.

Nick looked at the trembling man before him, the man he loved more than life itself. Slowly, he leaned forwards and pressed his warm lips to Greg's cold, chapped ones. Greg opened his mouth and let Nick in, a sob escaping from his mouth into Nick's.

The kiss was warm and wet and tasted of salt from Greg's tears. Nick let himself sink into the sensation, the connection that he'd missed so much. It felt right and Nick knew that he'd made the right decision. They'd work through their problems somehow, find some hidden solution. All that mattered was that Greg was his.

A clap of thunder rumbled overhead and without any further warning the heavens opened, sending a sheet of rain cascading down on them. They both ignored it and continued the kiss, their tongues duelling and hands slipping over wet skin and heavy clothes.

Nick followed Greg's silver jetta back to the apartment building and parked beside him. They both climbed out of their cars, both soaked to the skin from the sudden downpour that had engulfed them and then ended as unexpectedly as it had begun.

Greg let them in to his apartment and began to strip out of his wet suit. "I still have some of your clothes." he said, unbuttoning his now-transparent white shirt. "I'll get them for you, but you should have a hot shower before you put them on. Don‘t want you getting sick."

"OK." Nick agreed, feeling a little awkward. He shrugged out of his heavy suit jacket, the material seemed to have absorbed the rainwater like a sponge. Greg continued to undress until he was standing in the living room in nothing but soaking wet boxer-briefs. Nick couldn't help but stare.

Greg padded to the bedroom and looked out Nick's sweatshirt and a pair of jeans that he'd left behind, leaving them on the bed. "You can shower first, if you want." he called out to Nick. Nick crossed the short distance and joined him in the bedroom.

"We could..... share." he said hopefully. "If you want to. We don't have to... do anything. I just want to be close to you. I've missed you so much."

"Oh Nick." Greg sighed, pulling him into a hug. "I didn't want to push you into too much too soon, otherwise I would have suggested it myself."

Nick tugged off his remaining clothing and pulled Greg into the shower, kicking off their underwear as they went. "I've missed you so much." Greg mumbled into Nick's mouth as they kissed hungrily, rediscovering all of those sweet spots that they had been deprived of. "I want your mouth on me."

"You sure you want this? It's been a long day for you." Nick asked as he kissed his way down Greg's abdomen.

"I want this." Greg hissed as Nick's tongue came into contact with his cock for the first time in what felt like forever. "I want you."

Nick looked up at him, maintaining eye contact as he took the hardening shaft in between his teeth and scraped them bluntly over the velvety head in the way that always drove Greg crazy.

"Fuck." Greg gasped. "I'm going to explode. I haven't come since you went away to Texas."

Nick lost his rhythm, the cock slipping from his mouth with a wet sounding pop. "Seriously?" he asked.

Greg nodded, blushing slightly.

"Jesus Greg, you could have jerked off, I wouldn't have minded." He kept working Greg's cock with his hand as he talked, still on his knees in the small shower cubicle.

"I just didn't really feel like it, not with everything that's happened this past while." His breath hitched as Nick ran his thumb across the head. "Why, did you jerk off when you were away?"

Nick reached his free hand down and took hold of his own throbbing erection. "Just once, on my last day in Texas." he admitted. "I was taking a shower and I grabbed a bottle of body wash out of my bag. I didn't realise I'd taken one of yours until I began to soap myself up. The smell of it got me so hard."

"So you.. Ah... you jerked off thinking about me?" Greg's voice was low and husky, and Nick realised that his story was making Greg even more aroused.

"Sure did. Pretended my fist was your tight ass and I fucked you right into the wall. Had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name as I came. I came so hard Greg, thinking about you."

"Mmmm." Greg whimpered, his whole body tensing. Nick grinned and took the swollen head in his mouth just in time to catch the forceful release. It was thick and plentiful and tasted slightly sour but Nick swallowed it greedily.

"Fuck." Greg gasped, trying to find some purchase against the slippery tiles.

Nick sped up with his own hand and within seconds he was voicing his own release, which was washed away by the powerful water-jets almost as soon as it appeared.

Nick climbed shakily to his feet and wrapped his arms around Greg's slender body. "Missed this." he sighed into his neck. "Not just the sex, this. Just being together."

"Me too." Greg agreed. "I love you so much Nick. I'm sorry for the way I acted before, I don't know what got into me. I‘ve been such an ass."

Nick kissed him tenderly. "I can see your point though. But we'll work something out."

"I'm sorry about John too, I should have told you that he was in contact with me. It was never supposed to be a secret, it‘s just how things worked out."

"I still don't trust him Greg. You may think that he's changed, but..... After seeing what he did to you, there's no way I can ever forgive him for that. I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't be friends with, but please think carefully about him, OK?" Nick asked.

"Don't worry." Greg reassured him. "I can't see us becoming best friends or anything. He may have changed, but there's too much history there. Hopefully he can build a new life for himself, move on. Everyone deserves a second chance to put things right, if they truly want it."

"I still don't trust him." Nick whispered, holding Greg closer in a protective embrace.

Greg reached up and turned the now-cooling water off. "Let's dry off and just get into bed. I really need some sleep, I think I've only had about 20 hours in the last week."

"Sounds like a plan." Nick smiled as they climbed out, grabbing a thick fluffy towel from the closet and wrapping it around Greg. He did the same with one for himself.

Once they had dried off, Nick jumped into bed and pulled the covers over himself. Greg kissed him on the forehead and then climbed into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt.

"Where are you going, I thought we were getting into bed?" Nick asked, patting the mattress invitingly.

"Just a minute." Greg smiled, and left the room. Nick thought he heard the apartment door open and close, and pulled the covers tighter around his body, feeling suddenly very naked. A few minutes later the door opened and closed again and Greg appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, a large ball of tabby fur in his arms.

"Mandu, welcome to your new home." he said, letting the cat down onto the bed, where he immediately meowed and made himself comfortable on Nick's lap. "Or at least, your home for now." He looked down at Nick hopefully. "If your idea for the roommates thing is still on the table......"

Nick laughed and grabbed Mandu, wincing a little as his claws scraped against his naked chest. "Of course it is!"

Mandu meowed his approval. Greg stripped out of his clothes and joined Nick in the bed, tickling Mandu under the chin.

"Look at us." Nick chuckled. "A proper little family. Go on, go to your daddy." he said, handing Mandu to Greg.

"Yeah, Mommy's tired." Greg teased, moving the cat onto the floor. It stalked out of the room and Greg craned his neck to see him making himself comfortable on the couch.

"Looks like he's happy enough." Greg sighed, snuggling under Nick's arm.

"He's not the only one." Nick grinned, kissing Greg on the forehead and pulling the covers tighter around them both. "Now, let's get some sleep, we've both got work tonight."

~~~

Greg felt as if he was walking on air. He grinned his way through his entire shift, and every time he ran into Nick the other man was wearing a matching grin. At one point they even snuck into a supply closet for a sneaky make-out session. Life was great.

He was in the locker room getting ready to go home when Nick came up behind him and put his hands over his eyes.

"Guess who." he growled into Greg's ear.

"Mmmmm.... Jake Gyllenhaal?" Greg teased.

"Funny." Nick huffed, removing the hands.

Greg grinned and spun around to face him. "Ah, no, it's my own personal gay cowboy."

Nick gave him his patented ‘I don't know why I bother with you' head shake, and then pulled him in for a quick kiss. "Do you want to come back to my place?"

"Mmmm, sounds good. But I gotta swing by my place first and feed Mandu and clean the litter box. I'll come over when I'm done."

"Deal." Nick smiled, running his hands down Greg's back and cupping his ass. "I need to get myself reacquainted with this." He squeezed the cheeks to emphasise the word ‘this'.

"Can't wait." Greg moaned seductively.

~~~

Greg bounced along the hallway towards his apartment, the words to ‘I've got you under my skin' stuck in his head on a loop. He sang the chorus under his breath as he turned his key in the lock, doing a little happy dance as he pushed the door open.

The words died on his lips when he walked into his living room and found John sitting in his brown leather chair.

"How did you get in here?" he asked, finally getting his brain to process the right words.

"You gave me a key, remember?" John said matter-of-factly, twirling Nick's set of keys around on his finger.

Greg wracked his brain. He couldn't remember giving John the key, but perhaps in his tired, emotional state he had.

"You hadn't called, so I thought I'd come over to make sure you're OK." John stood up and put the keys back in his pocket. "I was worried about you."

"I'm fine." Greg reassured him. "My neighbour died, so I've been pretty busy sorting out the funeral. I have got some good news though."

"Good news?" John raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, me and Nick got back together, we're going to work things out." Greg grinned.

"You can't."

"Excuse me?" Greg asked, sure that he'd picked that last sentence up wrong.

"He's not good enough for you Greg, I thought you knew that." John moved a little closer, and Greg found himself backing up a little to counteract it.

"We're happy John." Greg gulped, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

"You could never be happy with him, Greg. He can't give you the future you deserve. You said it yourself, you want more than he can give you."

"We can work past it. Look, thanks for your concern but I think it's time you left, I've got to feed my cat. He'll be hungry." He moved away from John and towards the bedroom. "Mandu! Here kitty." he called out.

"Greg, don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you." John said in a cold, hard voice. Greg froze in place. He could feel John coming closer, but he didn't dare turn around and look.

"Nick doesn't love you. He can't make you happy. I could make you happy Greg." he trailed a fingertip across Greg's back.

The reality of the situation hit Greg with a sudden clarity. "You haven't changed at all." he whispered, almost to himself. "Everything you told me about getting clean, living a better life, it was all a ploy to get close to me again. All that about the alcohol and the drugs making you act that way, it was all complete bullshit, wasn't it? All lies to get me to trust you again. It's all you, the way you acted, it's just the way you are."

"Greg, I just want us to be together, can't you see that? I'd do anything. I won‘t let you go again." John admitted.

"You're still trying to control me, that's what you've been doing all this time, you've been manipulating me into breaking up with Nick, putting ideas in my head that what he was offering me wasn't good enough. Making me vulnerable so that I‘d need you more and more."

He swallowed down his fear and turned to face John. "I was stupid enough to believe that you were really trying to become a better person, I let myself be taken in by you. But not anymore, no way. Nick was right about you. I see your true colours now John. You can get out of my apartment. You're not welcome."

John gave him a chilling smile. "I can give you everything you want, Greg. I can give you what he refuses to. I can give you a future. You must love me exactly as I love you."

"I don't love you." Greg said, standing firm. "I never did and I sure as hell never will. I'm bored with you now. Get out. And leave the keys. They don‘t belong to you."

John's eye twitched, and his mouth slowly twisted into a snarl. "You son of a bitch." he spat. "I've done so much for you and you can't even be grateful. And now you're cheating on me with that square-headed asshole. It's time you learnt your lesson Greg. You do not mess me around."

John came towards him and grabbed him by the arms, pressing him into the wall. Greg struggled to get out of the grip, but John's manically laughing face loomed closer, the brown eyes flaming and bloodshot.

Greg was furious at being manipulated and had had enough of being John's punch bag, once was once too many. He wasn't a weak, defenceless person. He could fight back.

"Not this time." Greg said and brought his knee up and connected it forcefully with the soft tissue of John's testicles. John yowled and fell backwards, clutching the bruised area. Greg grabbed his cell-phone from his pocket to dial 911 and quickly gave the details.

John was still rolling on the floor, tears of pain squeezing from his closed eyes. "I'm gonna kill you, you little fucker." he growled.

Greg ran to the bedroom and grabbed the pair of handcuffs that he and Nick used during sex and brought them back into the living room. He quickly clicked them onto one wrist, dragged John's writhing body to the radiator and clicked the other handcuff to the metal rail, stuffing the key in his pocket.

"What are you doing?" John huffed, trying to free himself, the handcuffs rattling as he pulled them. "You're so dead, you're so fucking dead!" Saliva flew out of his mouth, sticking to his lips in white strings as he raged.

Greg collapsed back onto the sofa and ran his hands over his face, feeling a strange sense of calm overtake him. "You don't get to control me anymore John." he said simply. "You may not have changed, but I have. I know who you are now. You can‘t manipulate or bully me anymore."

"Son of a bitch, let me out of these. You‘re pathetic. You‘re nothing without me. You‘re nothing."

"I'm not the one handcuffed to a radiator." Greg pointed out. "The police are already on their way. Now I'm going to go and feed my cat. Don't go anywhere."

He got up off the couch and called for Mandu. The fat cat came out from his hiding place in the laundry basket and jumped into Greg's arms. "Some guard-cat you are." he said as he nuzzled into the cat's soft fur. Mandu let out a soft mew in response.

"Greg, you little fuck!" John was screaming, but Greg just ignored him, methodically weighing out Mandu's kitty chow and setting the bowl on the kitchen floor.

"Taste good, huh?" he smiled, tickling behind Mandu's ear.

"Greg, I swear, when I get out of these things you are dead. You're a dead man." John threatened as he pulled on the handcuffs, drawing blood as they scraped around his wrist.

"Ah, death threats. Always good." came Brass' voice from the doorway, his gun drawn and ready to fire.

John exhaled loudly and threw his head back, knowing that it was over.

"Am I pleased to see you." Greg tossed Brass the small silver key to the handcuffs while a uniformed officer checked to make sure he was OK.

Brass unlocked the cuffs and replaced them with a pair of his own. "John Bradley, I am arresting you on suspicion of violating your parole conditions. And what the hell, lets throw attempted assault and threatening behaviour in there as well. Say goodbye to the outside world buddy. You won‘t be seeing it for a long time."

As Brass read John his rights, Greg felt every bit of bravado sapping from his body. He collapsed onto his couch, no longer having the strength to hold his own body up.

"Greg!" Nick ran into the room, gasping for breath. "Are you OK? Brass called me, said he was on his way to your place." He launched himself onto Greg and wrapped his arms around him, not caring about the other officers that were still milling about.

"I'm fine Nick." Greg said truthfully.

"I knew he hadn't changed." Nick said, planting small grateful kisses all over Greg's face. "I didn't trust him."

"Yeah, I kinda wish I'd listened to you about that." Greg sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Shhhh." Nick cupped his lover's face in his hands. "Everything's OK. That's all that matters. God, I love you so much Greg."

"Love you too Nick."

The sound of Brass clearing his throat got their attention. "Sorry to break up this TV movie of the week movement, but I need you to come down to the station and give a statement." he said, obviously embarrassed at witnessing an intimate moment between his co-workers.

"I'll drive him Brass." Nick offered. "I'm not letting him out of my sight."

Brass nodded and threw Greg the pair of handcuffs. "Not exactly police issue, but they got the job done."

Greg caught the leather lined bondage cuffs and laughed as Nick held his head in shame.

"We need a bigger closet." Greg declared as he tried to stuff all of his clothes into Nick's already groaning robe space. It had been a few months since they'd got back together and Greg had finally wrangled out of his contract and moved out of his apartment. Nick's place was a sea of boxes and suitcases full of clothes lay strewn everywhere.

Nick put his hands around Greg's waist and flipped him onto the bed, Greg letting out a rather undignified squeak as he landed.

"Anything for you, my love." Nick smiled as he straddled him, pulling at the zip on his jeans. "Although technically you should be unpacking in the spare room. Got to keep up appearances, roomie."

Greg laughed and shifted his hips so that Nick could pull his jeans down. Just as things were getting interesting the phone started ringing.

"God!" Greg cried out in frustration. "Does that thing wait for my pants to come off?"

Nick chuckled and reached across to the bedside table. "Hello?" He rolled off Greg and stood beside the bed. "Oh great! Fantastic! Yeah, I'll see if I can get a few days off work and come down to see you guys. Give Rachel a big hug from me and tell her I'll see her soon. Bye Mom!"

Greg could tell from Nick's huge grin that it was good news. "That was my Mom." he said as he sat beside Greg on the bed.

"I'd guessed." Greg nodded, but was smiling.

"Rachel went into labour last night, and she gave birth to a baby girl this morning. Both are doing well, and she's naming the baby Scarlet."

"Scarlet." Greg nodded. "That's pretty cool. So, you'll be heading to Texas to see them?"

Nick bit his lip nervously. "Yeah. I wish you could come."

Greg shrugged. "I understand. Look, go down and enjoy yourself. I'll be fine. Mandu can keep me company."

As if hearing his name, the tabby cat wandered into the room and made himself comfortable on the bed.

Nick leaned down and kissed Greg gratefully.

~~~

Greg drove Nick to the airport again, but it couldn't have been more different from the last time they'd done it. Nick talked excitedly about the new arrival, and Greg listened to it all with a huge grin on his face. Of course he felt sad that he couldn't join Nick in going to see the baby, who he figured was kind of his niece now too, but he understood why he couldn't be there.

They parked in the airport parking lot and Greg helped Nick lift the heavy suitcase, which was mostly full of pink teddy bears and toys for the baby rather than clothes, onto a trolley.

Nick got his case checked in and looked at his watch. "My flight doesn't leave for another hour and a half so I don't need to go to the gate for another hour. Do you want to grab something to eat with me?"

"Sure." Greg grinned and they made their way to the restaurant, where they sat in a more secluded corner and talked, the time slipping away too quickly.

"I'm going to miss you." Nick said as he pushed a tomato around his plate with his fork. "You know I wish you were coming, don't you?"

"I know." Greg reassured him. "And I'm going to miss you too, but it's only for a few days. Besides, who would look after Mandu if we both left town?"

"True." Nick chuckled. "We should head down to the gate, I guess. It's almost time to board."

They finished their drinks and made their way down to the gate. "Come here." Nick grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug, planting a long, wet kiss on his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." Greg replied, rather flustered.

The young woman behind the gate giggled and blushed slightly at their public display of affection, but looked like she enjoyed it rather than minded. Greg winked at her and she fanned herself with her stack of boarding passes. Nick added his pass to her pile and blew Greg a kiss as he disappeared through the gate.

~~~

Nick made his way through baggage claim, trying to avoid the group of screaming schoolchildren that had shared his flight, and picked up his suitcase. He loaded it onto a trolley and pushed it through the automatic doors.

"Cisco!" he shouted, surprised to see his Father waiting for him. His Mother was at his side, holding on to his arm. Nick ran towards them and was pulled into a three-way hug.

"You look great." he said, looking at his Father, who's healthy tan had returned.

"I feel great." Bill smiled. "Good to see you again Pancho." He slapped his hand on Nick's back and pulled away. "Come on, let's go and meet Scarlet. Rachel‘s dying to see you."

They made their way to the hospital to introduce Nick to his newest niece, the journey filled with chatter and laughter, something he wasn‘t used to when travelling with his parents. He sat in the back seat of his Mother's Volkswagen and smiled to himself.

As they chatted, Nick casually mentioned having a room-mate. His Mother nodded and then moved onto another subject without making a big deal of it. It looked like his plan was going to work.

~~~

After a long day at the hospital, Nick and his parents went back to the ranch to get some dinner. They made small talk around the table until Jillian got up to wash the dishes.

"You look so well Cisco." Nick smiled at him over his coffee cup.

"I am well, Pancho." Bill smiled. "I've changed everything, I'm eating well, exercising more..... Trying to avoid getting stressed about things. It's made a big difference."

"I'm really glad." Nick smiled at him and then at Jillian who had rejoined them at the table and freshened her and Nick‘s coffees.

"So, tell us about this new roommate of yours that you mentioned before." she pressed. "He's someone you work with? What happened to his own house?"

Nick cleared his throat to give him time to get the pre-arranged story straight in his head. "He's been having some trouble with his Landlord, so I told him he could move in with me, into the spare room. I'm not using it for anything and the extra rent money will come in handy, that‘s for sure."

"Which one is it, did I meet him?" Bill asked.

"I'm...ah.. Not sure." Nick stammered. "His name's Greg, Greg Sanders. He's a CSI now but he used to work as a lab tech. He was the top DNA tech in Vegas before he made the switch." Nick hoped that no one could pick up on the pride that was in his voice.

"Hmmm, not sure if I remember him." Bill nodded, and drained the last of his herbal tea. "Anyway, I should be off to bed, it's been a long, exciting day."

Jillian took his hand as he passed, and he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be up soon." she smiled. He nodded and patted Nick on the shoulder.

Nick and his Mom sat in silence for a while, sipping their cooling coffees.

"I remember Greg." she said suddenly, setting her cup on the table.

"You do?" Nick asked, rather surprised.

She nodded and stood up from the table, going over to the window. "As you know, your Father and I spent some time at the crime lab that night, waiting for news. We briefly met some of your colleagues. Greg was in the background, almost as if he was trying not to be noticed, but I did notice. I recognised him from before, when we first arrived."

She cleared her throat, the memories obviously still too fresh in her mind. "I had got quite upset and I went looking for the ladies room to tidy up before facing everyone for introductions."

She smoothed down her hair, and Nick noticed that her hand was shaking.

"I walked past one of the labs and heard someone crying." she continued. "I took a look in and saw a young man, who I was later introduced to as Greg. He was curled up in the corner of the room, crying his heart out. He didn't see me, but I watched him for a few minutes to make sure he was alright. He just looked.... devastated."

She closed the curtains and then came back over to sit beside him again, taking his hand in her own. "A few minutes later he straightened himself up, took a deep breath and left the room. When I saw him again in the break room, he'd conjured up this mask to hide behind, but I knew how much he was hurting inside. It was how I was hurting inside."

"Mom...." Nick's voice cracked.

"I saw him at the hospital afterwards as well, just sitting in the waiting room hoping that he could get into see you. They were only letting your Father and I and your Supervisors in, but he sat there waiting anyway. Must have been there for hours."

"I didn't know that." Nick admitted. Greg had never told him.

"You also said his name in your sleep that first night in the hospital. After that, I wondered.... But then you never mentioned him again so I put the thought out of my head. But now I know....he's not just your roommate, is he?" she asked perceptively.

Nick felt his cheeks burn and became very interested in the bottom of his coffee cup. He knew he was busted. Slowly, he shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.

"How long?" she asked. "Were you together back then?"

"No." he admitted, gritting his teeth and getting on with it. "It happened afterwards. It's been about eight months now. I'm sorry."

"Nick, I'm not your Father." she sighed. "I've got nothing against homosexuality, he's the one with the problem. I've long since given up trying to get him to be more open-minded." She squeezed his hand harder. "You've got nothing to apologise for in my eyes. I love you, I just want you to be happy. Does he make you happy?"

Nick could feel his whole body trembling with nerves and shock at his Mother's acceptance. "He makes me very happy Mom." he said in a thick voice. "How did.... How did you know?"

"I know my own son." she explained, touching the side of his cheek tenderly. "I see the way your face lights up when you talk about him. You can't say his name without smiling."

"And I thought I was hiding it so well." Nick shrugged. "I wanted to tell you, but... you know how Cisco is."

She nodded. "Unfortunately I do. Is he the first man you've been with?"

Nick blushed at the direct and intimate question. "Yes." he answered finally. "First and last, I hope."

She gave him a shaky smile and then busied herself in clearing the cups away. "We'll keep this to ourselves for now. No sense in upsetting your Father."

"Yeah." Nick nodded dumbly, not quite believing what had just happened. "Thank you Mom."

Neither of them saw the flash of blue pyjamas in the hallway behind them as Bill Stokes crept away, his hands balled into fists and his face twisted in anger.

Nick packed away the few clothes he had brought with him, the suitcase half-empty now that he'd given Rachel and Cody all the little presents for Scarlet. Their favourite had been the tiny scarlet-red teddy bear holding a heart. Greg had chosen it, and Nick wished he could tell them all that.

He folded up the last pair of jeans that his Mom had insisted on washing and ironing before he left, even though he'd only worn them once, and placed them in the suitcase, zipping it up and clicking the little gold lock in place.

"All ready to go then Pancho?" Bill's voice came from the doorway behind him. Nick turned round and shot his Father a smile.

"Yep, just got to say my goodbyes to everyone downstairs and then I'll call a cab to the airport. I'm sure you guys will want to stay here with everyone else, and I don't mind getting a cab."

Bill nodded and walked further into the room, sitting down on Nick's bed.

"Are you OK Cisco?" Nick wondered. His Dad had seemed very quiet and withdrawn for the past couple of days, and Nick was worried that he was getting sick. "You just don't seem yourself, you've barely said two words lately. You‘re not feeling ill are you? You would tell us."

"What? Oh no, I'm fine. Fit as a fiddle." Bill touched his chest subconsciously, running his fingertips along the scar beneath his shirt.

Nick nodded and lifted his suitcase off the bed and set it on the floor. "I guess we should head down then." he started to walk through the door, expecting Bill to follow him.

"Nicholas."

Nick froze. His Father always used his nickname, he only ever called him by his full name when he'd done something wrong. He turned around to see Bill still sitting on the bed, clasping his hands together nervously. Nick felt his whole body tensing, wondering what was coming.

"I don't know if your Mother told you, but when I had my heart attack.... I was clinically dead for two minutes."

"I know." Nick nodded, sitting down on the bed beside him. "She told me."

"I haven't told anyone this, not even your Mother, and I'd appreciate it if it never leaves this room." Nick was almost positive that he saw a slight blush on Bill's cheeks, but wrote it off as the heat in the small bedroom.

"Of course." he nodded, growing more intrigued.

"When I was dead.... there was..... there was nothing. I've been raised to believe that good people go to heaven and yet... all I saw was endless black. I wasn't in heaven Pancho. I wasn't good enough for it."

Nick opened his mouth to speak but Bill cut him off. "I haven't lost my mind, don't worry. But I know what I felt. And then suddenly I was back in that ambulance, with your Mother crying beside me. I feel as if... as if I've been given a second chance at life, a chance to put right what I‘ve done wrong. Can you understand that?" Bill rubbed his hands over the yellow comforter, smoothing it with his palms and not meeting Nick's eyes.

"I can." Nick answered, he understood exactly what Bill was saying. He'd felt the same way after the kidnapping. "Are you sure you're alright Cisco? Do you need me to get Mom?"

"No, I need to tell you this." Bill finally looked up and made eye contact with his son. "I'm very sorry about they way I behaved as you were growing up." The words were stilted, stumbling. It was the first time Nick had heard his Father sound so unsure of himself.

"I don't understand." Nick said, shaking his head slightly.

"I've obviously made you feel that you can't be honest with me about who you are. My own fears and prejudices have driven you away from your family. You should have been able to tell us that you were..." he swallowed hard, "a homosexual."

Nick felt suddenly icy cold in the warm room. "I'm.... I..... how....did Mom......" he stammered, feeling everything come crashing down around him. How did Cisco know? He'd been trying so hard to hide it.

"Look Pancho, your Mother didn't break your confidence." Bill held his hand up to quieten Nick. "I overheard you talking on your first night here. I won't lie, I was angry at first, furious in fact. Not just that you were going through this, but that your Mother knew and didn't tell me. We don't keep secrets from each other."

He sighed and met Nick's eyes. "I didn't sleep at all that first night, I couldn't bring myself to face it. But over the past couple of days I've been thinking about it, I've been watching you, and I've realised that you're still my son, you‘re not a different person. I'm not saying that I'm happy about this, but it's your life, not mine."

"I wanted to tell you, but with everything that happened....." Nick indicated to Bill's chest. "I didn't think you could take it."

Bill nodded. "I understand. It's been a tough few months for all of us. Listen, I'm not sure that I'm ready to meet this...." he struggled for the name.

"Greg." Nick offered.

"Greg. I'm not sure if I'm ready to see you both together, as a couple, I'm not sure if I'll ever be comfortable with that, but I guess I'll have to be OK about you two living together in Vegas. I'm sure my opinion isn't going to change anything anyway."

"I'm afraid not." Nick admitted. "It's serious between us."

They sat quietly for a few moments, letting the conversation sink in. Finally Nick spoke up again.

"Do you think that perhaps someday you can accept this fully and feel OK about meeting Greg? I know you‘d like him."

"I honestly don't know." Bill sighed. "But I can promise you that I'll try to come to terms with it. I don't want to lose you over this. I love you Pancho."

It was the first time since he was a little boy that Nick had heard those three words directed only to him. He could feel tears pricking at the back of his eyes, but blinked them away. His Father wasn't one for wearing emotions on your sleeve and he already felt as if he was pushing his luck with what the older man could cope with in one day.

"I love you too Cisco." he managed to say through the lump in his throat. "I just didn't want to disappoint you again. I wanted to be the man you thought I should be."

"You are." Bill stood and smoothed out the creases in his pants from sitting. "I'm proud of you, son. I'm sorry I've never told you that before. I just wish it hadn‘t taken a brush with death to force me to look at my life and what sort of a man I am. I‘ve been given another chance, Pancho. I want to get it right this time."

Nick also stood and put a tentative hand on Bill's shoulder. "I appreciate that you're trying to be OK with this. I can't ask for more than that."

"So." Bill nodded, exhaling in a short huff. "Everyone's downstairs. Might as well get them all with one fell swoop."

"You mean.... tell everyone? Now?" Nick choked. "I don't know..."

Bill shrugged and headed downstairs. Nick stood frozen for a moment, then shook his head clear and followed him.

"Hey Nick, you all ready to go?" Rachel said, cuddling little Scarlet in the crook of her arm as she fed her from a bottle.

"Yeah, but ah.... There's something I need to say to everyone before I leave." Nick felt the heat of a deep blush on his cheeks, and rubbed them self-consciously with the palms of his hands, which were damp and sticky with a nervous sweat.

Everyone, his Mom and Dad, his five sisters, one brother and their respective spouses all looked up and focused their attention on him. His Mom shot him a questioning glance, and Nick nodded to her. She smiled, understanding what he was about to do, and nodded back.

"So... um...." he shoved his hands in his back pockets and smiled awkwardly. "My love life seems to be the hot topic every time I come here, so I'm going to satisfy your curiosity and tell you that yes, I am seeing someone, and it's serious."

"I told you." Susan said smugly. "I overheard him talking to her on the phone."

"How serious is serious?" Beth asked. "Are we talking wedding bells?"

"Ah, no." Nick squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out the questioning gaze of his siblings. "We are, um, living together though."

"But Mom said that you were sharing your place with that guy you work with......." Harriet began, and then trailed off as recognition dawned on her, her eyes widening.

"His name's Greg, and we‘re very happy." Nick nodded, holding his breath for their reactions. Everyone turned to look at Bill, waiting to see how he would take the news. Bill just nodded his acceptance, which was the catalyst for everyone to start firing questions and congratulations at Nick. All except Michael's wife Susan, who stood up dramatically and made a show of storming out.

"You're not going to go after her?" Nick asked Mike as they shared a hand-shake and a half-hug. Mike shook his head.

"Nah. I just let her get on with the histrionics. She'll come back when she realises no one's coming looking for her."

"So when are we going to meet this Greg?" Beth asked, pulling him in for a tight hug.

"Anytime you want to come to Vegas, there's a spare room for you. That goes for any of you guys." he smiled. He couldn't believe that everyone had been so accepting. He'd known that his brother and sisters had rejected their Dad's homophobia, but having a gay brother was a lot different to accepting homosexuality in general. He'd never loved his family more than he did that minute. He just wished that he could bring Greg to Texas, but was thankful that he'd gotten this far. He couldn't wait to get home and tell Greg what had happened.

"Oh damn," he said, looking at his watch, I really need to make a move. I still gotta call a cab."

"Oh no you don't." Beth put her hand up. "I'll drive you."

"Are you sure?" Nick asked. She nodded, so he headed upstairs to grab his suitcase. He ran into his niece Louise on the landing, chatting into her cell-phone. She saw Nick come up and said a hasty goodbye to whoever she‘d been talking to, shoving the phone in the back pocket of her designer jeans.

"Hey Uncle Nicky." she said as she bounced over to him. "I was just telling Kim about this new top that I want."

"That's nice." Nick mumbled, wondering what it had to do with him.

"Only thing is, it's fifty bucks. And I'd really need new jeans to go with it." her voice had taken on a wheedling quality. "But I'm sure you could help me out, couldn't you?" she said the last part in a whisper as Bill came up the stairs behind them. She nodded her head to indicate towards her Grandpa.

"Sorry Lou." Nick said in a loud voice. "I can't lend you any money. I'm afraid I'm saving up to take my boyfriend Greg on holiday."

Louise's mouth dropped open in shock, her eyes wide and furious at losing her own personal cash machine. She looked over at Bill, who didn't flinch as he passed them on the way to the bathroom.

"Dirty faggot." she hissed as she flounced past him and down the stairs.

"More and more like her Mom every day." Nick chuckled as he collected his suitcase from his room and headed back downstairs for more hugs and kisses goodbye.

"You ready?" Beth asked, already wearing her jacket and holding her car keys. Nick said a final goodbye to everyone and told Rachel he'd definitely be back for the christening. He kissed Scarlet on the head, breathing in that unique baby smell. One day he thought to himself with a smile.

They climbed into Beth's red Ford, and chatted about Greg as they drove towards the airport. Beth wanted to know everything about him, and Nick found himself telling her about the explosion, John's attack and how they'd finally got together, their brief break-up and reconciliation, and all about Mandu.

There was a lull in the conversation and Nick used the opportunity to think over everything that had happened that day, he still couldn't quite believe it was real. He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Beth looked over at him, biting her lip nervously. "You might be wondering why I offered to drive you." she said in a quiet voice. "I wanted to get you alone and tell you first, because you‘re the only one who understands what I‘m going through."

She hesitated for a few moments before continuing. "I'm bisexual, Nick. I've got a girlfriend, her name is Amanda. She's..... God, she's amazing. I've never been able to tell anyone, what with Dad being so homophobic, I was far too scared. But now that you've done it... I think I can too."

Nick was stunned. "Beth, I... I had no idea. But if you're happy, then I'm thrilled for you." he reached across and squeezed her arm reassuringly. "You'll both have to come and visit us in Vegas as soon as possible."

"Thank you Nick." she said as she wiped a tear from her dark brown eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too Sis." he smiled.

***

I'm basing Bill's behaviour on someone I know who had a heart attack and afterwards changed their outlook on life, became much more mellow, tolerant and loving, so it is an actual phenomenon.

Greg waited at the arrivals gate, nervous and excited, his hand in his pocket fingering the new laminated ID badge that Grissom had given him that morning. He couldn't wait for Nick to arrive so that he could break the news.

He stood on tip-toes to try and see over the heads of the people arriving off the Austin flight, trying to spot Nick's dark hair in the crowd. Finally he saw his boyfriend approaching, and his stomach lurched with excitement, lust, love and a whole list of other emotions that he didn't have time to decipher.

Nick caught sight of him and waved, his face breaking into a huge grin. As soon as he got through the automatic doors he abandoned his luggage trolley and grabbed Greg around the waist, lifting him up and swinging him around, then kissing him hard as he landed.

"You have no idea how much I missed you." Nick breathed, their lips still only an inch apart.

"If it was half as much as I missed you..." Greg began, but realised how smushy that sounded and quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, how was it? What‘s the bub like?"

They collected the trolley and wheeled it out of the airport towards Greg's car, Greg‘s hand on his back all the while. "It was great G'." Nick chuckled. "Scarlet is adorable. She looks just like Rachel, dark brown eyes and fuzzy hair. Well, Rachel doesn‘t have fuzzy hair, but you know what I mean."

They loaded the suitcase in the trunk and climbed into the car. "So..... anything interesting happen when I was away?" Nick asked innocently once they were out on the road, wanting to save his big news until they got home even though he was itching just to blurt it out.

"You could say that." Greg said mysteriously. "Take a look at what's in my pocket."

"I bet you say that to all the guys." Nick teased as he fumbled in Greg's jacket pocket, pulling out the ID badge.

"It's your badge."

"Read it." Greg said smugly.

"Greg Sanders, CSI level two...... Level two?" he practically squeaked in a very unmanly fashion. "God Greg, when did this happen?"

Greg smiled and resisted the urge to kiss Nick, figuring that getting home alive was more important, but he did risk lifting a hand off the steering wheel to squeeze to his thigh.

"This morning." he said proudly. "Solved case number fifty during last night's shift, a homicide no less, and Grissom handed me that little beauty before I left work."

"Greg, this is amazing, we've got to go out and celebrate." Nick put his hand over Greg's and gripped it tightly. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks babe." Greg grinned, knowing that Nick was also resisting the urge to reach across and hug him. He finally gave Greg his hand back, and they chatted about the new baby all the way home. Greg could have sworn that Nick was almost broody.

~~~

Nick yawned and stretched as he walked though the door of their house. "Good to be home." he said to himself as he tossed the suitcase into the bedroom, promising himself that he would unpack it in a few minutes but knowing that it would likely sit there until the next day.

Greg was still in the living room trying to coax Mandu off the couch to come and say hello. Nick watched him from the doorway as he picked up the fat cat, hearing him make a loud hum in imitation of Mandu's satisfied purr at being fussed over. He was struck by just how beautiful his lover was. He couldn't wait any longer, he had to tell him.

He kicked off his shoes and padded over to them, coming up behind Greg and pressing his chest to his back, both hands on his shoulders. "I think you should put down the cat." he advised, massaging into his neck. "I've got something I need to tell you."

Greg froze for a second, Nick felt every muscle in his body tense. Then he breathed out and set Mandu back on the couch.

Nick turned him and looked deep into his dark brown eyes, rubbing his hands up and down Greg's bare arms, feeling the goosebumps which pricked his skin. He took a deep, steadying breath before telling Greg what he had been bursting to say.

"Greg, I told them. I told them all."

Greg stood with his mouth slightly open, trying to absorb and understand the information. "What?" he said finally, his face twisting into a puzzled expression.

"My family." Nick clarified. "I told them about us. Well, my Mom kinda guessed, Cisco overheard us talking and I told the rest of my family this morning."

"Shit." Greg rubbed his forehead, trying to take it all in. Finally he looked up at Nick‘s calm, untroubled face. "I'm guessing by your demeanour that it didn't go as bad as you'd expected?" he asked, his eyebrows raised.

"I can't explain it, Greggo." Nick sighed, pulling them both onto the couch. "Cisco's changed, ever since the heart attack he's become more.... I don't know..." he struggled for the right word, "...mellow?"

"So he hasn't disowned you after all?"

"He's not sure he can deal with actually meeting you and seeing us as a couple, but he accepts that we're together and I guess I can't ask for more than that."

"Wow." Greg pulled Nick down into a hug. "That's huge. I don't really know what to say."

"There's more." Nick said, interlinking his fingers with Greg's. "My sister Beth, she... ah.... she came out to me as she drove me to the airport."

"Wait! Your sister's a lesbian?" Greg choked in disbelief.

"Bisexual, but yeah. I couldn't believe it, she's been going through exactly the same thing I have, hiding her girlfriend from our family thinking she wouldn't be accepted. She promised me that she was going to tell them, she's probably already done it by now actually."

"Wow." Greg repeated, somewhat dumbstruck. "This is just..... I can't believe it."

"Well believe it." Nick grinned, kissing him. "We have my Mom and siblings blessing. And Cisco promised that he‘d try and be OK with it. And he really is trying."

They lay side by side in silence for a while, both just absorbing all the day‘s events. Finally Nick turned his body so that he was facing Greg.

"Listen... Greg...." he began. "My Mom told me something, it was actually how she knew that there was something between us." he said slowly, hoping that Greg wouldn't get upset that he'd been seen crying.

"She remembered you from after my kidnapping." He could finally say the word now without having trouble breathing and feeling the ghosts of fire ants on his skin. "On the night that my folks were in the crime lab, she saw you hiding in one of the labs. She said you were pretty upset, crying. You never told me that."

"I didn't know anyone had seen me." Greg blushed. "I tried so hard to be professional, but.... At some point I guess the mask had to slip."

"No one would have blamed you for taking some time out Greg. Warrick admitted to me afterwards that everyone was pretty highly strung at that point." he kissed Greg softly on the forehead.

"Yeah, but not everyone was secretly in love with the guy they were looking for." Greg sighed. "I had to stay in the background, watch as everyone supported each other but feeling that I was out of the loop, like I wasn't really part of the team. I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling inside."

"I didn't know that you felt as if you weren't part of the team, why didn't you ever tell me?" Nick asked.

Greg shrugged. "I guess I've always felt like that, like I'm on the outside looking in."

Nick shook his head. "G', even when you were still in the lab, you were always part of the team. OK? A big part. That night, when I saw you coming with that fire extinguisher, man, I've never been so glad to see anyone in my entire life. You, Griss and Warrick, all working as a team to save me."

"I thought I was going to lose you that night. I was so scared."

"But you didn't." Nick smiled, running his fingers through Greg's soft hair. "I'm here and we're together. We've got what we both wanted."

"I'm so glad you're home." Greg grinned. "You have this uncanny knack of saying just the right thing to cheer me up."

"How about... doing the right thing to cheer you up?" Nick smirked, a lustful glint in his eye, running his hand along Greg's thigh.

"Always good too." Greg stammered, reaching down and cupping his hand over Nick's.

"Missed you. Love you." Nick murmured against Greg's cheek. "Couldn't wait to get home."

"I love you too Nick." Greg breathed as Nick captured his lips.

He shifted until Greg was lying beneath him and ripped his T-shirt off without mercy. The kiss deepened until they were both breathless and gasping and growing hard against each other‘s hips. Nick opened his jeans and started to unbutton Greg's as well.

"Look away Mandu." he warned the cat who was still on the couch beside them. "I'm about to take advantage of your owner."

The cat meowed and stuck his head between his legs to lick himself, unconcerned.

"If I could do that then I wouldn't need you." Greg teased, pulling Nick down for another kiss.

The small pink envelope lay innocently on the floor of the mailbox, along with various junk mail and bills, some addressed to him, some to Greg, some to both of them jointly. Greg had been living there for two months now and was firmly settled in.

Nick took the bundle of mail into the house with him, checking through it as he walked.

"Hey baby." he greeted Greg who was lying on the couch with a blanket over him and Mandu curled up asleep on his chest. He'd been struck with a bad cold and had missed work that night. Nick had forced him to take the night off, even though Greg had been determined to struggle through.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he leaned down to kiss the damp forehead, avoiding the red nose and slightly chapped lips.

"Much." Greg croaked, and then sneezed as if to counteract his claim. The movement caused Mandu to fly up in the air, and he yowled in displeasure at being woken so abruptly. "Sorry Mabdu." Greg said through his stuffy nose as the cat shot him a dirty look and stalked over to the armchair, his tail in the air.

"Anything for me?" Greg asked Nick of the mail.

Nick tossed him anything with his name on it and began opening the pink envelope which was addressed to him only. He stood frozen for a moment, reading and re-reading the invitation it contained.

"Are you OK?" Greg asked, blowing his nose on a tissue which he added to the growing pile on the coffee table. "You look a bit weird."

Dumbly, Nick handed Greg the invitation. He took it and read it over. "OK, I must be high on cold medication, or does this really say what I think it says?"

Nick took the little pink card back and nodded. "It's an invitation for Scarlet's christening next month.... For both of us. They want to meet you Greg."

"But won't your Dad be there?"

"Yeah, of course he will. And there's no way Rachel and Cody would have sent this if Cisco hadn't given his OK about it. I gotta call my Mom and find out what's going on."

Nick disappeared into the bedroom to make the phone-call, Greg figured it was in case there had been some mistake. He probably didn't want Greg to hear him arguing with his Mom about it.

After a few nerve-wracking minutes, Nick came bounding out of the bedroom, a massive grin on his face. "It's right!" he exclaimed. "It was Cisco's idea to invite you along so he could see you for himself. He's also invited Beth's girlfriend Amanda. Man, this is amazing."

"Are you sure your Dad wasn't replaced by a pod person or something?" Greg chuckled, which quickly turned into a hacking cough.

Nick rolled his eyes and slapped Greg on the back a few times. "I even told Mom that we'd stay in a hotel to make things a little easier but she insisted that we all stay at the ranch." he shrugged. "They really must be OK with this. I can't believe it, I never thought I'd see the day. It‘s like Cisco has this whole new outlook on life."

"Pod person." Greg muttered under his breath once he'd stopped coughing. "You should check his back for an alien parasite when we get there."

"Come on, I'll make you some chicken soup." Nick said, ignoring Greg's quip. "Gotta get you better and looking your best for the big day."

Greg threw off his blanket and shuffled after Nick towards the kitchen. "You just want a trophy boyfriend." he grumbled as he filled yet another tissue.

~~~

They'd both been scheduled to work the night before the christening and couldn't get out of it due to Sara being at a conference. They had left the crime lab and made a quick stop at home to shower and pick up their bags and then drop Mandu off at Warrick's house. They were also going straight to the church from the airport, which meant changing into their suits in the airport bathroom. Greg ran a comb through his hair, trying to tame the soft curls that had sprung up out of nowhere.

"This is not the time for a bad hair day." he groaned as he licked his palm and tried to flatten the curls a little. "I swear, when I get home I'm shaving my head."

"OK, now I know you're as nervous as hell." Nick captured the hand and held it still. "The Greg I know would never say that. Your hair is fine. You look great."

He swept his eyes across Greg's smart black suit with thin silver pin-stripes, black shirt with open collar and no tie. He really did look good. Nick smoothed down his own slate-grey suit and straightened his dark blue tie, feeling a little dull in comparison.

"I should have worn a tie, shouldn't I?" Greg worried, rubbing his hand around his neck.

"Greg, you look amazing. Chill out, please. This is supposed to be a fun day. Cisco wants to meet you, he's not going to invite you to his Granddaughter's christening just so he can be mean to you." Nick ran his hand through the unruly hair. "He'll save that for Thanksgiving."

"Oh thanks very much!" Greg said indignantly, but his mouth was fighting a grin. "Come on then, let's go get this over with."

~~~

The church was an old-fashioned stone building built in a well-manicured garden with a small cemetery at the back. The sun shone down on the extended Stokes family as they stood at the Church door waiting for Nick and Greg to arrive, as they were running a little late. Greg hoped that they wouldn't hold that against him, he didn't need any more reasons for them not to like him.

The taxi pulled up outside the church and Nick got the bags from the trunk while Greg paid the driver and took a deep breath to steady his nerves. He opened the door and climbed out of the cab, feeling as if everyone was watching his every move.

Don't fall over, just don't fall over he kept repeating to himself as he fixed a friendly smile on his face. Nick came up behind him and put a hand on his back and steered him towards the family group.

"Everyone, this is Greg. My partner."

Greg felt his stomach flutter with joy at being called that. Nick's palm was gently rubbing the small of his back, warm and supportive, and Greg relaxed slightly.

Nick made brief introductions to all of his family members and Greg tried to keep all the names and the faces in his head. He didn't want to call the wrong sister by the wrong name. They all greeted him with hugs and kisses like he was already one of the family. It was a little overwhelming, but in a good way.

Michael shook his hand firmly, a bright grin on his face. Another woman, who Nick informed him was Mike's wife, stood in the background with a scowl on her face, refusing to come forward. Greg gave her a friendly wave anyway. She rolled her eyes and turned away. Greg shrugged and turned back to the more welcoming members of the family.

"And this is my Mom and Dad, who you met briefly back in Vegas." Nick finished.

"Judge Stokes, Mrs Stokes." Greg nodded, shaking their hands. Bill squeezed his hand tightly and gave him a look that he couldn't decipher. "Good to be meeting you in better circumstances." he added, his voice cracking slightly.

"Let's go in before Scarlet gets grizzly." Rachel suggested, and they all followed her into the church for the service.

~~~

After the service they all went back to the ranch to continue the celebrations. Beth and Amanda had insisted on driving Nick and Greg home so they could all have a chance to talk alone before they got swept up in the celebrations. Nick liked Amanda immediately, she was tall, slender with bright blue eyes and long blonde hair, and the dirtiest laugh he had ever heard. She was a teacher and in her spare time an artist who painted portraits. She'd already convinced them to come to her studio and sit for her before they went home again. It was obvious that she and Beth were very much in love.

They arrived at the ranch and tossed their bags in Nick's bedroom, and Greg wandered around the small room touching items from Nick's childhood fondly. He picked up a baseball glove and slipped it on his hand, punching into the supple leather. "I can just imagine you growing up here. I bet you had lots of girls up here as a teenager." he smiled, his eyes twinkling.

"Not one." Nick admitted.

"Seriously? So I'm kinda privileged then." Greg laughed.

Nick was about to reply when he heard his name being called from downstairs. "Uncle Nick, come and play with us!" Nick's older nieces and nephews demanded his attention.

"Go." Greg nodded, setting the glove back on the shelf. "I'm going to get my things unpacked, then I'll find you."

"Thanks babe." Nick grinned, kissing him softly. "An uncle's work is never done."

Nick jogged down the stairs to greet the waiting group of children. After a few minutes Greg could hear laughing and shouting, and he looked out of the window to see Nick, jacket and tie off and shirt sleeves rolled up, throwing a football to one of his nephews. He couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"Greg, can I have a word now that I‘ve got you alone?"

Greg spun around to see Bill standing behind him. "Of course Judge Stokes. What can I do for you?"

"You can call me Bill for a start." the older man said, joining Greg by the window. "Listen, there's just a few things I want to say to you. Greg, you may think I'm a horrible person for how I made Nick feel alienated from his family, but you must understand something. I was brought up by a very strictly religious Mother, I was taught a very rigid mindset of right and wrong, and I've lived my life by those rules as laid out by her. But recent events have caused me to question those beliefs. I know now that I was wrong to be so homophobic. It‘s not my place to judge. No pun intended."

"Judge.... Bill.... I do understand. We're all conditioned by society in one way or another, we all form opinions about people that may be wrong. You've realised that and you're trying your best to change, to be more tolerant. That's all anyone could ask." Greg reassured. "I know Nick appreciates it. And so do I." he added.

"I could have lost Nick over this." Bill sighed. "I'm so glad that you agreed to come today, I feel so lucky that I have this chance to get to know you as his.... partner. But I warn you now, this is all very new to me, I may slip up and say something that offends you, I'm still learning what's appropriate. Bear with me. I mean, do I call you gay, or homosexual, or what?.... I don‘t know what you prefer."

"You could just call me Greg. Go from there." Greg suggested.

"I'm sorry." Bill shook his head. "This is the sort of thing I'm talking about. Let me know if I do it again."

"Sure. It‘s cool." Greg smiled, still watching as Nick picked up one of his nieces and swung her around as screams of delight filled the air. "The way I see it, you raised one hell of a guy in Nick, so you can't be all that bad."

"He's faced a lot, but he's always come through." Bill sighed. "It's quite extraordinary."

"He's extraordinary." Greg smiled. "I've never met anyone like him. I'm lucky to have him."

"Yes, you are. I love my son Greg. If you hurt him.... Well, lets just say that I still have a lot of friends in the judicial system. They'll never convict me."

Greg looked up in shock, but smiled when he saw the mirth sparkling in Bill's dark eyes. "I say that to all my son-in-laws." he laughed.

Greg felt his cheeks take on a pink tinge as he realised that Bill saw him like that. Another son-in-law. He liked it.

~~~

Nick sighed contentedly as he sat on a stool in the bustling living room and watched Rachel handing Greg Scarlet to hold. He'd been more nervous about introducing him to his family than he'd let Greg know, but Greg being Greg had somehow managed to make everybody love him within the first five minutes.

He looked across at his Mom and Dad who were sitting holding hands on the couch, watching the mayhem around them as they sipped their champagne, Bill having been allowed a few glasses to celebrate. He noticed that his Dad looked younger and happier than he had seen him for a long time.

He stood up and walked over to Greg, giving him a squeeze on the arm. He wanted to kiss him, but figured that it was still a little too soon for public displays of affection in front of his family. He was just so grateful that they were there together, he didn‘t want to ruin it by making anyone feel uncomfortable.

"Looks good on you." he whispered into Greg's ear as Scarlet reached out her tiny hand and grasped Greg's finger.

Greg looked up and gave him the brightest smile he had ever seen. "Feels good." he whispered back. "Listen, I thought you should know that your Dad took me aside earlier and had a private word with me."

"He did?" Nick's whisper took on a panicked hiss. "What did he say?"

"The abridged version? He told me that although he was glad I came today, he was still coming to terms with things and to go easy on him, you know, in case he accidentally said something that might offend me without thinking. Oh, and that he'll kill me if I hurt you." Greg smirked. "I think I've passed the family test though, don't you?"

"For sure." Nick smiled, relieved that everything had gone so smoothly. "Now come on, don't hog Scarlet all day." He shifted the now-sleeping bundle into his own arms. "That's it, your Uncle Greggo can't have you all day now, can he?" he cooed.

Greg chuckled at being called Uncle Greggo and was suddenly overcome with a sense of satisfaction at his current situation. They'd gone through a hell of a lot to get to where they were, but they'd finally done it. Nick's family had accepted him, they were living together and had a pet, his family absolutely adored Nick and it looked like his dreams of a big house and kids might be on the cards someday. He took a sip of his champagne and grinned. Life was good.

A full year had passed since Scarlet's christening and Greg's first meeting with the Stokes family. In that time Greg had finally been fully accepted by Bill Stokes, who treated him like yet another son-in-law just like he‘d suggested he would during their first talk up in Nick‘s bedroom.

All Nick's sisters just adored him, and Mike was delighted to find another numismatist to share his long-held passion for coins. Nick had dubbed them 'the geek brothers' until Greg had privately threatened to withhold sex and publicly threatened to tell their work colleagues that Nick still had his woobie. The nickname was quickly rescinded.

Susan and Louise were still being their awkward selves, but Nick really couldn't give a damn about them and their ignorance. He never once apologised for being in love with Greg, and if they couldn't handle that, it was their problem, not his.

They visited Nick's family as much as they could for holidays and special occasions, splitting their time between there and visiting Greg's family. And now they were back at the ranch yet again, this time to attend a blessing.

Nick took a deep breath and straightened his silver cravat and smoothed his cumber bund as Greg carefully placed a red rose in his buttonhole. "There you go, gorgeous." he smiled as he planted a soft kiss on Nick's lips. "Have you seen Beth yet?"

"I saw her a couple of minutes ago." Nick nodded, returning the favour for Greg's buttonhole. Greg was dressed in a smart black suit like his, but his cravat and cumber bund were a deep red to match the roses, the dark colour making Greg‘s pale skin look even more luminous.

"She looks so beautiful, every inch the radiant Bride." he said proudly. "Come on, we should head downstairs, the ceremony will be starting soon."

They went outside to the large gardens of the Stokes ranch, where the sun was shining and the birds were singing from the trees that hung overhead. A small corner of the garden had been transformed into a wedding area with seating, a silver arch curving over a raised altar with a red carpet leading up to it, and everywhere tastefully decorated with the silver and red theme. A harpist played soft, delicate music as Nick and Greg walked hand-in-hand up the aisle, between the seats filled with family and friends. They stood to the side and waited for the Brides to arrive. The Minister, who stood above them on the altar, greeted them with a warm smile.

The harpist began a new tune as Amanda walked up the makeshift aisle on her brother's arm, wearing a long elegant silver dress, her hair flowing loosely behind her like spun gold.

A few steps behind came Beth. Her glossy brown hair was swept up in a sophisticated bun and she was dressed in a fitted red corset and matching slim line skirt. Her arm was hooked through Bill's Stokes', who was dressed in a suit to match Nick‘s and was smiling broadly like any proud Father would. Both women were also beaming with pure joy.

Once they got to the front the Minister began the blessing ceremony. The two women faced each other and held hands as they pledged their love to each other and exchanged rings, and Nick reached across and squeezed Greg's hand as they watched them share their first kiss as a blessed couple.

The congregation clapped and cheered at the kiss.

"And now to our second blessing of the day." the Minister smiled as Beth and Amanda stepped back and stood to the side, hand-in-hand. Nick grinned at Greg as they stepped forward and took their places in front of the Minister.

As they said the vows they had prepared for each other, Nick glanced over to his Father, feeling a sense of relief to see him smiling. His Mom was also smiling, but wiping away a tear beneath her large silver hat.

On the other side, Greg's family were also gathered to see their son's special day, and behind them were some of Nick and Greg's work colleagues who could make it to Texas, including Grissom, Sara and Warrick. Greg smiled at them all as he took the white-gold ring from his pocket, engraved inside with their names, the date, and a small etching of the yin-yang symbol.

"Nick...." he began as he slipped the ring on Nick's finger. "You have made my life complete. We've had our ups and downs, but together we can make it through anything. I look forward to sharing the rest of my life with you, come what may. I love you Nick, my alpha and omega."

Nick slipped a matching ring on Greg's finger. "Greg, you have helped me to become the man that I always should have been. I love you more than life itself, and I will always be here for you, no matter what. My life truly started on the day I finally kissed you. I know in my heart that I have met my soul-mate. I love you Greg, my everlasting."

The Minister smiled. "You have pledged your union before God, and before those whom you love the most. Greg, Nick, you may now kiss each other."

Nick leaned forward and placed a hand on Greg's cheek. Greg closed the gap and brought their lips together in a soft, sweet connection as the gathered crowd clapped, cheered and wolf-whistled.

The sound of champagne corks popping filled the air, and Nick reached across hand handed Greg a glass of the fizzing liquid. "Mr Stokes-Sanders." he toasted.

Greg tipped his glass towards Nick. "Mr Stokes-Sanders." he echoed with a grin before he took a sip.

"It'll be a real wedding someday, I promise." Nick kissed him again, tasting champagne on Greg's lips. "As soon as the law catches up with the world."

"Someday." Greg smiled. "But for now, this is enough."

They moved off towards the gathered guests, receiving hugs and kisses and hearing the word congratulations over and over again.

After a few minutes of chatting with everyone, Nick slipped away and moved to the altar, tapping on his glass with a spoon to get everybody's attention.

"Hey everyone." he said, as dozens of pairs of eyes turned on him. "Greg, come up here too, this is pretty intimidating to do on your own."

Greg laughed and joined Nick on the raised altar.

"So, we've known this for a few weeks but we wanted to wait until today when you were all here to make the announcement." Nick continued. "We've been accepted into the adoption programme. Now it's just a matter of waiting until there's a baby out there for us."

"Hopefully sooner rather than later." Greg added as the whole place erupted into excited chatter.

"More champagne!" Beth cried and the air was filled with corks popping once more. Greg pulled Nick into a hug and held him as if he was never going to let go.

~~~

The party went on well into the night with food, drinking and music. Greg was dancing with Amanda when he noticed that Nick had disappeared. A quick glance around the garden proved that his partner had indeed slipped away, so he excused himself and went looking for him.

He finally found him sitting alone on the swinging summer seat on the other side of the ranch grounds, away from the party, looking at the full moon and the stars as he sipped his champagne.

"You OK?" he asked, concerned for Nick, in case this was all too much for him. He took a seat beside him and put a hand on his knee.

Nick set his champagne glass down on the ground beside him and turned to grab Greg's face, pulling him in for a breath-stealing, crushing kiss which seemed to go on forever.

"More than OK." he panted as they finally pulled apart. "But I just wanted a few minutes away from everything to think. I just.... I can't believe I'm here, it's like a dream. We've come a hell of a long way in the past couple of years, haven't we?"

"Sure have." Greg agreed. "I sort of look at it as..... if we can get through that, we can get through anything, you know what I mean?"

Nick just nodded and looked back up at the sky, swinging the summer seat gently. Greg shifted himself closer and threw his arm around Nick's shoulders.

"I‘ve got a surprise for you." Nick grinned, fumbling in his pocket. "Cisco gave me these earlier, I‘ve been waiting for a moment alone to show you."

He handed Greg an envelope which contained two all-expenses paid tickets to Hawaii. "He told me he's given Beth and Amanda the same, but for a different week of course. Not much fun having your big sister around on your honeymoon."

"Holy shit!" Greg exclaimed. "I guess Pops really does like me after all."

"How could anyone not like you?" Nick smiled, pulling him closer.

"Do you think anyone would notice if we didn't rejoin the party just yet?" Greg asked, making himself comfortable against Nick‘s chest.

"I think we've got a while." Nick whispered, threading his fingers through Greg's soft hair.

They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the peace and quiet and each other's company, away from the distant bustle of the party. Nick couldn't help but watch Greg as they sat there, marveling that this beautiful, generous, wonderful person was all his, forever. It was like a dream, except it wasn't. It was all real.

"Thank you Greg." Nick said after a while, planting a tender kiss on his partner's lips.

"For what?" Greg asked, his dark brown eyes almost black in the dim light.

"For bringing me to life." was the simple reply, as he took Greg's hand and stood up, pulling him from the seat and leading him towards the ranch-house and up to the bedroom.

The End

***

I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has followed this story, and it's predecessor. Your support has been amazing, and gratefully received. I'm sad to see the story finally come to an end, I've had so much fun writing it and then sharing it with all of you.

Thank you.

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