Title: Everything At Once
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5_prompts, Written in the Stars challenge
Prompt: H15, You'd be wise to focus on deadlines
Author's Note: Spoilers for the S5 CSI: Vegas episode "Viva Las Vegas."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders, unfortunately, just borrowing him for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg looked down at his desk in frustration, wondering how he had managed to get himself into the situation he was in. He had so much to do, deadlines that he had to meet, but there were too many other things on his mind for him to concentrate properly.

He had to find someone to take his place in the lab before Grissom would let him take his final proficiency over again. Chandra had left after her first day; he hadn't thought that would happen. He had been so sure that she would fit in with the lab and have no problems.

In a way, her words had been flattering. "They all want you. And I can't be you." That had at least made the disappointment of failing his final proficiency easier to take; the knowledge that everyone wanted him to do their DNA work made him feel needed.

The trouble was, he wanted to feel needed as a CSI, not just in the lab. He loved his work in the lab. He really did. It meant a lot to him, and he was good at it. But he needed more than lab work to make him feel fulfilled in his job. He needed to be out there in the field.

But until he found another replacement to work here in the lab, Grissom needed him here. Cases were backing up, and no one else could work as quickly and efficiently as he did. He had to be here to meet the deadlines and move the cases forward.

And that meant that he was losing time when he could be out in the field, working on his proficiency and hopefully passing the next test. But unless he found someone to take his place in the lab, he wouldn't be able to be out there full-time, anyway.

There were too many deadlines, and too many things pulling him in too many different directions. And there was far too little time to get everything done in, Greg thought rebelliously. Sometimes he wished that he could just shove all of this away, and do what he wanted.

That wasn't an option, he told himself, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. He couldn't work in the field as a CSI until he'd passed that last proficiency. And he wouldn't have a chance to do that until he found someone to take his place here.

It seemed like a vicious circle, but he would get it done. Chandra hadn't been the only candidate on his list; there were four others who had shown interest in the job, and he had already sent out an email to the next person in line on his list of possible replacements.

He might still be in the lab for a while, until he heard from that person and talked to them in person, but it wouldn't be for long. All of the people on his list had already been contacted and had the situation explained to them, and they'd all shown an interest.

So all he had to do was be patient, and try to meet the lab deadlines that had been presented to him for these cases, Greg told himself, taking another deep breath and trying to will himself into feeling more calm and collected. He just had to wait a little while longer.

The problem was that he already felt as though he'd waited an eternity. As much as he liked working in the lab, he felt that his world shrunk to almost microscopic size when he was confined within these four walls. He needed to be out working in the field.

In the field, there were no deadlines. There were no people yelling at him that they needed something done right now, sooner if possible. There weren't all these headaches and people expecting him to do ten things at once, and be good at all of them.

It wasn't that being in the field was any less challenging then working in the DNA lab, Greg told himself with a sigh. It was even more so, in a lot of ways. But he felt that he was accomplishing more there -- and that he was more a part of the CSI team than he could ever be here.

The fact that he'd be taking a pay cut to be a CSI rather than a highly-paid, specialized lab rat didn't bother him. As he'd told Grissom once, it had never been about the money. It was about the satisfaction he got from the job, the feeling that he was needed.

And the feeling that he was doing more to make himself a part of the team, too, he thought. Why was it that when he was in here, he somehow felt divorced from most of what was going on, from the important work that the CSIs did out there at the actual crime scenes?

Greg propped his elbows on his desk, ignoring the work in front of him for a moment. How much longer would it be before he was out of the lab for good? He wanted to work with the CSIs in the field so badly that he could literally almost taste that desire.

It was there, in the back of his throat, a definite taste on his tongue. Sweet and bitter at the same time, a taste that he knew all too well. Because in spite of what he thought, it wouldn't be easy to leave the lab, to give up control of it to someone else.

He would miss the deadlines and the people yelling at him that they needed DNA results as quickly as he could get them. He would miss the rush, the feeling of being under pressure. He was so used to it that it would be hard to work without that pressure piling up on him.

But at the same time, it would be a relief not to feel it any more, he told himself. That pressure had been so much a part of his life for the years that he'd been working in this lab that it would be good to get out from under it, to feel more relaxed when he was working.

How well would a new person deal with the deadlines he'd always taken for granted? Greg really had no idea how that would go; he'd always been used to how busy the lab was, and dealing with everything at once. But someone else might have a harder time coping.

Chandra had definitely had a rough time with it -- and she had only been here for one day before she'd given up in frustration. That didn't bode well for anybody else he might be lucky enough to get in here to take his place, Greg thought, scowling.

He'd just have to hope that the next person would be able to cope with how busy this place was -- and that he would actually pass his next proficiency. He was lucky that Gil was giving him another chance, and he meant to live up to the other man's faith in him this time.

Clearing his throat, Greg sat up and looked at the work on his desk. He had to focus on these deadlines that were right here in front of him, he told himself, picking up some of the papers. It was time to work on what was in front of him, rather than thinking about what the future might hold.

***