Previous part of Every time we say good bye....

***

The cell suddenly burst into life with text messages coming through and they were all from Nick.  Gil checked them but they were all basically the same and he smiled at the messages.  Missing him.  Loving him.  Hoping everything was okay.

Gil was still smiling as he found Nick's number and pressed call.  It rang out but then went to voicemail and Nick's perfunctory message...at least Gil could hear his voice and his cell was obviously switched on.

"Hey, sweetheart, I'm back in the land of the living and hot water. I'll call you again as soon as I can...I've only just plugged in the cell to charge it.  I'm in Vinchina and we're going to Concepcion this afternoon and staying there tonight so I should be able to speak to you.  I love you and miss you.  Bye."

He caught Rory and Carlos looking at each other and rolling their eyes.

"I'm in love!"   He laughed, pretty certain that he was turning into some kind of hormonal adolescent.  "Surely you pair must have loved at some time in your sorry lives?"

"Never!"  Carlos stated and laughed.

"I've fucking loved and fucking lost more than once."  Rory added wistfully.

They were all in good spirits when Gil's cell rang.  "Nick."  He grabbed the cell and nearly dropped it in his excitement...getting more laughs and eye rolls from the two other men.

"Nick?"

"Hey.  You okay?  You sounded good."

"I am.  I think I smell but I'm about to have a shower and then there are four of us are driving back to Asuncion via Concepcion like I said and then I'll get a flight back home."

"I can hardly believe you're coming back so soon...it's great."

"It is.  Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Murder doesn't respect shift times and bedtimes.  I am ball achingly tired, man..." But then he chuckled.  "...but that could be from missing you."

"I know...I...well can't say too much at the moment..."  Although Gil hadn't thought too much about sex since he'd been sick and then busy...well...that was apart from Rory's little attempted seduction.

"...you're not alone?"

"No."

"Look; I've just had an idea...don't book a flight home just yet let me check something out and get back to you."

"What's the idea?  Come out to Paraguay?"

"No, not that, but just hang while I do some checking.  Okay?  You know, man, it's great to hear your voice."

"I know.  I've missed you...especially when I was sick..."  He caught Rory's look at him...plainly saying I looked after you very well thank you very much.  "...but I did have a good nurse...and there's a tale to tell about that."  Rory groaned and Carlos looked puzzled.

"What's that?"  Nick wanted to know.

"Not on the cell...it's something you need to hear in person."  He laughed at Rory's discomfort but he did need to tell Nick face to face to ensure Nick didn't get the wrong idea.

"You do sound good, man, happy."

"Because I'm coming home to you."

"You say the right things.  What about Sara...have you heard from Susan?"

"I don't know, I haven't been able to use my laptop...no router access when the generator blew up.  I had an e-mail from Heather and two from you...that was the last time I was able to check, oh, and Susan did send a copy of the letter she'd sent to Sara."

"Are you happy about Sara?"

"Happy?  About Sara?  I've never been happy about Sara."

"I mean about the divorce."  But Gil could hear the happiness in Nick's voice so he'd obviously said the right thing about his soon to be ex-wife.  About time he clued up, really.

"I'm happy and sad.  Sad that I was stupid enough to put myself in the middle of such a mess.  I have learned my lesson, Nick, I promise.  I love you and only you."

"Man, have you been taking lessons in how to kiss my ass?"  Nick laughed.

"I don't need lessons to do that, Nicky, my boy."

Nick laughed some more.  "You haven't called me Nicky for years."

"No.  No, I haven't.  Do you like it?"

"You know?  I don't think I do.  It's a childish nickname and I'm not a child anymore...haven't been for a long time."

"Okay, sweetheart.  No more Nicky."

"Sweetheart will do."

"And honey?"

"That'll do too."  Gil heard Nick yawn.

"Get to bed...you need your beauty sleep now that you're not so young.  There's no urgency about our calls now that I'm going to be in regular contact and I'm going to see you in just a couple of days."

"It's great news.  I do need to sleep."

"Hey, before you go, how's Sam?"

"Fighting fit, aren't you Sam?  He's right hear listening to you."

"I'm looking forward to seeing him.  Miss you and love you both and now you get into bed and have sweet dreams."

"About you."

"I said sweet dreams not wet dreams."  Carlos pulled a face at Gil.  Rory laughed.

"Man, they're still there listening to you saying that?"  Nick could obviously hear Rory laughing.

"'Fraid so."

"Then I'll go and have a shower first...I can take off the edge in the soapy water."

"Ahhh...soapy water.  My shower is minutes away."

"Maybe you can jerk off and we can come together."

This time Gil laughed.  "Now that is a good idea.  Bye my love, sleep tight."

"Yeah.  Safe journey.  Speak soon; love you."

"Love you, too.  Bye."  Gil ended the call.

"Thank God that is over I think my ears are going to bleed."  Carlos was laughing.

"You said you've never been in love.  That true?"

Carlos shrugged.  "I think it is...when they all have finished with me I am not sad."

"All?  How many times have you been dumped?"

"More times that I care to remember."  He laughed.  "They all said that I was too interested in digging up old bones that jumping their bones."

"Who said that?"  Anna-Marie came into the room wrapped in a towel.  "My God you all smell."  She wrinkled her nose.  "I never noticed before."

"All the women in my life."  Carlos told her.

"Then you need a woman who is also interested in digging up bones."  If that wasn't an obvious come-on Gil would eat his beloved sun hat.

But Carlos was struck dumb.  Gil, Rory and Anna-Marie all laughed.

"I'm going next."  Gil announced and picked up his wash bag and clean clothing where it lay on top of his duffel bag and went very purposefully to the bathroom...the hot water was calling out his name.

***

Gil washed under the shower and was almost in a blissful trance at the hot water...he hadn't realised how much he'd missed it until that moment.  He washed his hair and beard and then moved down his body and by the time he reached his dick it was almost hard.  He gave it a good wash at the same time as twisting and pumping it and thinking of Nick.  As he washed his sack it felt heavy and gorged and as he fondled himself with his soapy hands he couldn't remember the last time he'd ejaculated.

So he rectified the omission immediately and the strength of the orgasm nearly took his knees from under him as he pumped out copious streams of ejaculate onto the tiles.  When he'd recovered he made sure that he washed away all the evidence.

When he stepped from the shower he felt good.  Clean...certainly...but also hopeful about the future.  He was still mulling over Rory's theory but only because he couldn't believe that it was something so simple and so obvious.  And that he'd missed it; that was, he supposed, with all his knowledge very remiss of him.

After towelling himself dry quite vigorously he then put on his clean shorts and tee shirt and rolled up the dirty and clearly offensive dirty clothing.

Back in the room Carlos went next while Gil put on a clean shirt and socks and pants.  He found a spare carrier bag and stored away his dirty stuff and it crossed his mind he'd probably throw it away.

After thanking Emilio for his hospitality...his wife had provided homemade soup...paying him and also tipping him very generously they set out for Concepcion.  Gil drove the first leg as Carlos and Anna-Marie became more acquainted in the rear seating.

The roads alternated between being really good and passable to being treacherous...depending on how much the snow had drifted.  They approached Concepcion in the late afternoon just as the light was fading; the roads were better and the snow much lighter on the ground.  They found their usual haunt...the hotel they'd all used at some time or other and managed to get three rooms.  Gil ended up sharing with Rory yet again.

They ate at a small restaurant and returned early to their beds and to fully charged cell phones.  Gil decided to try to speak to Nick again.  He hoped he'd be up and getting ready for work.  There was no reply.  He left a short message telling Nick where he was and that he had a fully charged cell and was back in business.

About ten minutes later when Gil had got into bed and was writing his customary letter to Nick his cell rang.

"Nick."

"Hey, man, I was in the shower.  I'm happy you're back in a big town.  Stops me worrying."

"Sweetheart I was always safe."

"So you say."  But Nick didn't sound convinced.

"So what about this plan you have?"

"Hang fire.  I have to find out some information...maybe call in a favour or two.  I should be able to let you now tomorrow morning."

"Okay.  I've just thought about my laptop...I'd completely forgotten about it."

"Yeah, Susan may have been in touch."

"Have you spoken to her?"

"No.  Just guessing.  I don't even know if Sara has replied.  I fucking hope so."

"Me too.  It'll be a load off my mind."

"Yeah.  Babe, I've got to go I had an extra lie in since I was so tired but I need to get to work."

"Of course.  It's wonderful to hear you voice and even more wonderful that I'm going to see the day after tomorrow if we're lucky."

"Are you going back to the dig in the spring?"

"I have no idea.  I have been paid for the time and I would presume if I don't go back I would have to refund the money...I have no idea...but Nick?"

"What?"

"I don't want to...I want to stay with you and not be thousands of miles away.  Before this happened...the snow...I was bound by the contract but now everything has changed.  Maybe I'll get some work in Vegas and won't be able to get back to Paraguay.   That's my plan I think.  And that's if you can bear me to be around all the time."

"Man, I can bear it.  Got to go, babe.  Love you.  Sam sends a kiss."

"Good boy.  Both of you are."  Gil chuckled.

"Yeah.  Gay boy."  Nick laughed too.

"And all mine to love.  Bye, sweetheart."

"See you."  Gil ended the call.

"You've got it bad."  Rory commented form his bed.

"Yes, I have, haven't I?"  Gil chuckled and decided he couldn't be bothered to check his laptop.  He finished the letter with a flourish and then snuggled down in his bed and smiled himself to sleep.

He felt on top of the world the next morning.  He was up before Rory and made sure to charge his cell again and using another plug he put his laptop on charge.  The hotel did have WiFi but it was very hit and miss but he'd check his e-mails after his shower.

A long hot shower and another quick jerk off and he was ready for the day.  Back in the room he woke up Rory who complained that he'd only just got into bed.

"Not true.  Now get up and get ready or we'll leave you behind."  Gil laughed.

"Slave driver."  Rory reluctantly got out of bed and groggily went into the bathroom and closed the door with a bang...Gil guessed it was to show his displeasure at being woken.

Gil checked his cell...he had two texts from Nick.

'Sorry to end the call but I was nearly late for work.  Can't wait to cu.  N xox'

And...  'Plan set in motion call me when you can. N xox.'  Gil immediately called Nick who answered after one just one ring.

"Hey.  I'll call you back in a few...Greggo's here pretending not to be listening."  Gil heard Greg protesting his innocence in the background.

"Okay, I'm going nowhere."  Gil ended the call and sat waiting for the call back.  He fired up his laptop while he waited and as it loaded his cell rang out.

"Hi sweetheart."

***

"Hi babe.  Okay.  This is it...you get a flight back to Dallas and I've managed to get a few days off so I'll fly down as well and we can go and see the Judge and Mom...introduce my prospective husband to them."

It was not often that Gil was dumbstruck but he was at that moment.  Meeting the Stokes.  And even prospective husband...

"You okay?  You still there?"  Nick sounded worried.

Gil swallowed.  "I need to get a haircut and shave off my beard.  I haven't got any good pants or shirts...or even shoes..."

"Don't panic.  Sara bought 'round four boxes of your stuff from the house and I've unpacked your clothes and put the rest in my spare room....mostly book and papers.  She did say there was some other stuff and when she gets round to sorting it she'll bring it over too.  She's being really good, you know?  Anyway I'm going to the mall on the way home so will have your pants dry cleaned...I think you might need a new shirt...not much selection, man."  Nick paused and then spoke again less confidently.

"You're okay at meeting the folks then?"

"Yes, of course I am.  I'm just surprised because I know that you've never taken anyone home."

"True; but man, I've never had a fiancé before and that's special and well...the Supreme Court has ruled and the Judge follows the rules."

"Fiancé...sounds very positive; it's a date then.  What's wrong with my shirts?"

"If you relapse I can always call off the engagement.  But, man, your shirts!  They're all dark colours...it's summer you need some summer colours.  Don't worry I'll have a look around and get one for you.  You'll love it."

"Of course I will.  It's winter here."  Nick laughed at the heavy dose of sarcasm.  "Could you bring me some white tee shirts and boxers and don't forget the socks."

"Issuing orders?"

"While I can on the cell...I know that when I get back and I'm with you'll have my ass whipped."

Nick laughed.  "Man.  You are so right."

"I know when I'm done for."

"You're going to be a happy man...I'm going to make it my number one priority...keep you happy...oh..."

"What's wrong?"  Gil wondered why Nick had suddenly stopped his happy eulogy.

"I think you're going to have to be relegated to number two...'cause I promised Sam he would always be my best boy."  Nick sounded worried.

Gil laughed.  "I'm happy with that...as long as you realise that he'll probably me my number one too."  Gil was joking, as he knew Nick was really, because he was certain that however much he loved Sam, Nick would always be his number one.

"We can all share and be joint number ones."

"Good idea.  Who's going to be looking after Sam?"

"Kim.  I had to tell her you were coming back but asked her if she could take Sam for me...and she's coming to house sit.  I have other plans..."  Nick stopped abruptly.

"What other plans?"

"Can't say.  Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."  He laughed but Gil was frowning at the same time.  He had never been fond of surprises but he guessed he'd have to get used to it since Nick, apparently, wanted to surprise him and probably spoil him too.  He turned his frown into a smile...he could live with that.

"When do I get to know about this surprise?"

"When I'm good and ready that's when and now I've got to go to take Sam his walk and then get some shut eye...older I get the harder it is to recover from long shifts."

"Wait 'til you get to my age."

"As long as I'm still with you it'll be good."

"We'll be together.  I promise.  And further more I think I know why I did the things that I did..."

"...you do?  Why?"

"I'm sorry you'll just have to wait..."

"...man, I walked headlong into that."

"You did but I think it's a conversation we need to have face to face and not over the telephone wires."  Nick laughed.  "Take Sam and then have a good sleep.  I'm going to be on the road most of the day driving to Asunción."

"You're driving?"

"We'll take turns, I think."

"Well, you be careful. What are the roads like?"

"They're not too bad as long as we stick to the main highway...which we will."  He really had no idea what the road conditions would be like but he wasn't going to worry Nick unduly.  "But I promise I'll take care.  Love you...it's great to hear your voice...even if you tease me."

"Because I love you."

"I know you do and it's returned, believe me."

"About time, man."

"Isn't it?"  They were quiet for a few moments while they thought about their chequered past.

"You end the call and I'll speak to you tonight before work...or even in work if I have the opportunity to wind up Greggo."

"Okay.  Look forward to it....but you know Greg will have to know sooner or later.  Love you my sweetheart."

"The longer I can keep Greg hanging I will...he'll be okay he's a good sport.  Bye.  Love you babe."  Gil pressed end.

He lay back against the head board and smiled...thing were going to work out.  But then he suddenly remembered that he'd be meeting the Stokes.  He'd met them once before and if he was honest he hadn't cared much for either of them.  He wondered how they'd react when they realised just who it was their gay son loved.

He didn't want to think about it too much because he knew it would give him a headache.  He was just about to switch on his laptop when his cell rang and Nick was back on the line.

"Sorry, babe, I forgot to say don't book the flight from Dallas to Vegas...I'll do that.  Okay?"

"That's good.   Now take Sam for his walk...he'll be getting annoyed at having to wait."

"He is!  Just going.  See you."  This time Nick ended the call and just as Gil was about to switch on his laptop there was tap at the door.

Gil opened it to find Carlos and Anna-Marie standing there...grins on their face from ear to ear.  Gil laughed.

"We are going to breakfast are you coming."

"Are you sure you want company."  Anna-Marie actually giggled.  "Rory's still in the bathroom..."

"No, I'm not...just got to get dressed."  Rory came out of the bathroom at that moment.

"Then yes we'll join you and be third wheels."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we'll be fecking goosegogs."  Rory called.  This time all three of them looked puzzled and Gil shrugged and then laughed.

"I'm sure he'll explain over breakfast."

When Rory and Gil were following the new love birds to the café Rory was pissed.

"I'm the only one without a lover.  What a fecking sorry state of affairs."

"You'll find one one day...they might even find you."

"I'll keep my fucking fingers crossed."

Gil chuckled until he remembered the Stokes' and then took a few deep breaths...it would be a challenge there was no two ways about that.  Maybe even more so for Nick given the family history...but he'd support him because that's what he'd always do now...his job was to support Nick...

***

The journey that Carlos said he was over-estimating as taking eight hours took over fourteen hours.

In some places the roads were so badly affected by snow that they had to crawl along at two or three miles an hour.  There were accidents littering the roads and on several occasions Gil, Carlos and Rory had to help move vehicles.  Luckily they didn't see any serious injuries...and if they had done they would have been at a loss as to what to do.

Rory had saved the day in respect of food and drink.  While in the café having breakfast he'd suggested that they get sandwiches and sodas for their journey and so they'd stocked up on an assortment of snacks.  In the event they only saw one roadside cafe that was open and they did stop for coffee.

Gil kept Nick in the loop with various texts but the cell reception came and went as if on a whim.  The situation they found themselves in was increasingly worrying to all of them but they did have a supply of diesel, their food and drink and could have stayed in the cab of the truck if they'd had to...  It was with some relief that at two the following morning Carlos pulled up outside his apartment in the suburbs of Asunción.

As the day got longer and longer with their journey he'd invited them all to stay but stressed it was a small one bedroomed apartment but it would be warm and there was hot water.  And his sister had stocked up his refrigerator.

They piled out of the truck and made their way to the third floor home.  It may have been only one bedroomed but it was still a spacious apartment.  And he had two couches.  One for Gil and one for Rory.  It was Rory who told Anna-Marie and Carlos not to be coy and fucking sleep together and if they had the fucking energy for fucking sex after what they'd fucking been through then be fucking quiet!

After a few moments of stunned silence Carlos, Anna-Marie and Gil burst out laughing.  Gil and Rory settled onto their beds using their sleeping bags and just before turning off the light Gil texted Nick.

'It's been a long day and we're finally in bed more than ready to sleep.  I haven't even looked at flights yet but hope I can get one for tomorrow. The flights have never been full. Wait until I know when I can fly before booking your flight to Dallas and our flights home.  That sounds so good – home!   Must sleep now. Love you. G xx'

He pressed send and then turned off the cell and the light but as he lay down to sleep he thought of something else....so switched the light and his cell back on.

'It's already tomorrow!  I mean today if I can get a flight.  I'll let you know.  Night!  G xx'

He repeated the actions with his cell and the light and Rory mumbled from his couch.  "Go to fucking sleep I'm fucking knackered and you're fucking keeping me awake."

"I'm fucking sorry."  They both chuckled from the confines of their bags but then fell asleep immediately.

It was just past nine when Carlos emerged from his bedroom.  Gil heard him in the kitchen and very soon the smell of coffee brought him fully to his senses.  He rolled onto his back and it twinged and complained about the movement.  Although he hadn't woken during the night he was pretty sure it wasn't the most comfortable couch he'd ever slept on.   He checked his watch.  He needed to get on his laptop to see about a flight.

"Coffee's ready."

"Thanks Carlos.  I need to book my flight."  He was rummaging through his duffel bag trying to get his laptop out but it was caught in clothing and he was exasperated because he needed to get it and he needed a piss and the piss would have to take precedence.

When he got back from the bathroom Carlos made a simple suggestion.  "Call the airport, I have the number somewhere."  He opened a drawer by his telephone and brought out a book, flipped through the well-thumbed pages and found the number.  "You want me to get through?"

"Please.  That would be great."

In fifteen minutes Carlos had secured a flight to Dallas...taking nearly a day as usual...leaving just after one the next morning.  Gil would have to be at the airport three hours before the flight to collect the ticket by providing his passport and credit card as confirmation.  Gil felt a lot easier for having the plans in place.  He immediately texted Nick with the details...

'...so if you can get a flight for the day after tomorrow we'll both be there about the same time.  I hope!  Love you.  Gxx'   After he'd sent it he sat back to enjoy his second mug if coffee when his cell buzzed.

A text from Nick.  'I am booking our flights now.  I can only have 3 shifts off so 3 nights in Dallas. Long enough to see just how they react.  When the flights are booked I'll call them.  Love you N xox'  Gil had forgotten about the Stokes' and he'd groaned aloud.

"What's wrong?"  Rory wanted to know.

"I'm going to meet Nick's parents in Dallas.  I think it's fair to say they're not particularly gay friendly."

"Shit.  That'll be an ordeal."

"A fucking ordeal."  And they all laughed at Rory's apparent and unusual restraint but Gil using the expletive anyway.

There wasn't too much to do since the weather was pretty bad in Asuncion.  Anna-Marie has gone home but would be back later and Carlos called their office and they said to come in the following week.  Rory booked his flight home on line and after many pre-emptive strikes Gil finally switched on his laptop and checked his e-mails.

There were several from Nick, one from Heather and two from Susan Stokes-Garcia.  He thought he'd better open Susan's first.  The first mail contained the details of Sara's acceptance of the offer for the terms of the divorce and Susan wanted his acknowledgment of the offer and his confirmation of acceptance...it was a straightforward business letter setting out the details, yet again, and that it was excellent news.

The second mail from Susan absolutely astounded Gil...it was short and to the point and he read it through several times...

***

...the mail sent had been sent just the evening before.

'Gil

I would have expected an immediate response to my previous e-mail detailing Sara's acceptance of the terms we discussed and the fact that it was an excellent deal with which to take the divorce forward.

If you have to think about anything or query any matter arising from this almost done deal then you should contact me immediately. 

I do hope that you are not resorting to type and going to hurt Nick again.

Susan'

So...because Gil had not responded to her e-mail as quickly as she obviously thought he should have done she had, two days later Gil calculated, discounting any problem he may have had fired him a disgusting, in his estimation, rebuke regarding his behaviour towards Nick.

He started an e-mail back to her immediately.

'Susan

We had a crisis at the site with the loss of electricity and extremely poor weather conditions, so much so that we have had to de-camp and I am now on my way back home.  This has been the first time I have been able to get internet access in five or six days. 

Nevertheless, I was under the impression that I had given you carte blanche to negotiate and accept, on my behalf, any reasonable divorce settlement.  If this was not the case then I apologise.'

(Gil re-read the e-mail and deleted the last sentence...he was not going to apologise to her and then had a better idea.)

I really do not feel it is part of your remit as a lawyer or behaviour as a sister to make sweeping assumptions about my character or about Nick and our relationship.  In view of your obvious dislike of me and my relationship with your brother I think I would prefer to use a local attorney in Las Vegas.

Gil'.

He pressed send and then became aware of people chuckling.  Carlos and Rory were almost laughing at him.

"What?"  He asked

"Well you've been fucking clucking like a demented egg bound hen...it was obvious something has fucking upset you."

Gil took a deep breath and then sighed.  "Nick's sister, Susan, is handling my divorce and Sara...my soon to be ex-wife had agreed the terms and Susan, wanted my agreement...oh God, who cares?"

"That's fucking family...you should never mix business and pleasure.  Except of course, I bet you'll be getting a hefty fucking discount, I don't mind saying."

Gil had to laugh at that.  "She said she wanted to charge me extra for the way I'd behaved towards Nick...but because we were back together she'd just charge me expenses instead."

"Gil, if you don't mind me saying, you did treat Nick very badly."  This was Carlos wading in for the first time he'd ever mentioned anything about Gil's private life...to his face at least.

"What do you..."  And then Gil remembered when Nick had visited the camp just a couple of months ago and Gil had been as bad as he'd ever been to Nick...or anyone else for that matter and the camp members had obviously heard it all.  It was the first time he'd ever thought about that.   "...when Nick visited?"

"Nick visited you in camp?  I never knew." Rory actually sat up straighter on the couch hoping to hear the details.

"He did...but just let's say that I treated him so badly he left the next day."

"No shit, Sherlock?"

Gil smirked.  "Shit happens and I was nothing short of..."  He couldn't think of an adjective to accurately describe just how bad he'd been.

Carlos provided the missing words.  "A fucking asshole I believe you Americans are fond of saying."

"That works."  Gil admitted.

"And?"  Rory wanted more.

"All you need to know is that I was contrite enough to leave the project to fly back and apologise and by some miracle he had me back."

"You were gone when I first arrived.   I must say everyone was fucking loyal 'cause no one breathed a fucking word of it to me.  It's good to inspire loyalty."

"I think it was fear."  Carlos stated.

"Fear?"  Gil was taken aback.

"If you could treat someone you knew very well that badly then everyone thought it safer to give you a wide berth."

"Oh God.  What an insufferable asshole I've become.  Carlos, I'm sorry."

"Hey, Gil, you've always been good to me...and Anna...I think that maybe you, we all, treat the people we love that way sometimes because we can and..."

"...well fuck me!"  Rory explained.  "What the fuck did I tell you, Gil?  What did I fucking tell you?"  Rory was ecstatic and Carlos laughed as Gil shook his head.

"What is going on?"  Carlos asked though his laughter.

"Rory came up with a theory as to why I have treated the very two people I was supposed to love, so badly...and well..."

"...it was what you said, Carlos, it was so fucking obvious to everyone except the Doc here.  Because he could, he did and they let him.  Am I right?  Fucking spot on."  He punched the air with his fist just as Gil's cell rang.

"It's Nick.  Hey, sweetheart."

"Flights are booked I think I get in four hours before you so I thought we could stay at that place from where you sent me a postcard...the Inn...so I've booked a room for one night there...may have to be another two nights depending on how the Judge greets us."

"That's great.  I can hardly wait."

"You okay?  You sound pissed."

"Oh, Nick, I've made a complete fucking ass of myself with you and everyone else.  When I was so bad to you in camp apparently it made all the interns worried that I'd turn on them...I didn't know until just now that they actually feared me."

"Serves you right, man.  Teach you not to do it again."  Nick wasn't giving him any sympathy and quite rightly so, he thought.

"I will never do it again.  Nearly losing you was just about as bad as it can get."

"All you've got to do is remember that.  But I forgave you and I'm sure they did..."

"...Jesus, Nick..."

"...what?"

"I forgot my letter to you last night...I never wrote to you."  Gil practically wailed his confession."

"Man...no problemo.  You had a shit day.  I forgive you that."  Nick laughed.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay.  Gil?"

"What?"

"We're going to be seeing each other tomorrow night."

"It is tomorrow...I hope the flight's on time with this weather down here.  At least I don't have to change planes so I shouldn't be missing any connection so I guess it will be just the weather situation and as we fly north it'll get better."

"It just hit me that it'll be tomorrow.  Only a shift away and to think it was going to be months.  It still might be if you have to go back."

"We'll see about that."  Gil didn't think he could come back...he would repay his fee since he was going to be having his money back from Sara...which reminded him...  "Oh God, Nick.  Susan."

"What about her?  What's she done now?"

Gil was momentarily pleased that Nick immediately blamed Susan but...  "I think...no not, 'I think', I know I've fired her..."

Nick laughed.  "She's really pissed you off then..."

"She did and I sent back an e-mail firing her."

"Whoa...come on spill..."

So Gil read out her e-mail to Nick and Nick was as furious as Gil.

"I tell you, man, that woman is a grade 'A' bitch just you wait..."

"...no, Nick..."

"...oh yes Nick...Gil, she can't get away with that...look I'm going now and I'm going to chew her up and spit her out.  She thinks I'm a kid brother in need of protection from the school bullies."

"Nick, don't make it any worse than I've already made it...I...we're going to meet your parents the day after tomorrow and I don't want the spectre of Susan hanging over it and clouding their judgment of me."

"I promise you babe.  It won't.  Going now.  Love you and stay calm."  He ended the call before Gil could say another word but all Gil could think of was shit, shit, shit.

"I need a drink."  He said to the men who'd heard all his side of the conversation.  "A coffee will do...you want one?"

"A coffee with a kick...let's lace them with brandy."   Carlos got up from his seat before Gil.

"A fucking good idea."  Rory smiled at Gil.  "And then Gil can fucking tell us the fucking sorry tale."

But before he even moved off his couch his cell rang with an unknown number.

"Hello?"  Gil wondered who was calling.

"Gil?  It's Susan..."

***

"I'm sorry."  They spoke at the same time and then said, "Sorry" again to each other.  Gil got in first the third time.

"You first then."

"Well I really jumped the gun didn't I and I'm very sorry.  I thought you just hadn't bothered to respond to the e-mail.  It never crossed my mind where you were and what you might have been experiencing.  You really don't want to fire me do you?  I will save you a lot of money."

"No, I don't and I'm sorry about Nick..."

"Nick?  What about him?"

"Hasn't he called you?  I'm afraid I read your mail to him and he was...furious."

"No, I haven't spoken to him about it so at least I know what to expect and I have pre-empted him.  So where are you now?"

"In Asuncion, I'm flying back tonight."  He left his destination out of the sentence since he didn't know if Nick wanted the entire family to know what they were about to do.

"Then Nick will be a very happy...  I'm on a call..."  Gil heard Susan speak to someone else presumably in her office.  "Okay...tell him I'll be a few minutes.  Gil?"

"I'm still here."

"You'll never guess who's demanding to speak to me and won't wait for a call back?"

"Nick.  At least you did get in first...tell him I love him and I'm sorry."  Susan laughed.

"There's one more thing.  Sara asked if I could represent her in the divorce as well as you...she said that she was not going to fight anything and the settlement is fair and that as I'm Nick's sister she trusted me...despite me being a lawyer."  Susan laughed.  "It's not strictly ethical but it's probably going to be as straightforward a divorce as I've ever dealt with."

"I've no objection if it's okay by you."

"It is.  I'll set it all in motion then and find a judge in Las Vegas who will pronounce on the Costa Rican marriage and then settle the divorce.  That's about all I think.  I'd better speak to my little brother now and defuse his temper...don't want him bursting a blood vessel."

"Thanks Susan...for everything."

"I'm forgiven?"

"Of course."

"Speak soon.  Bye."

"Bye."  And she was gone.  Carlos provided his coffee for him.  "Thanks...I need this."

"You are no longer in trouble with his sister?"

"No.  It's all smoothed over now.  I bet Nick will be calling any moment."  He sipped his coffee and chatted to Carlos and Rory waiting for the call...it came about ten minutes later.

"I bet you're annoyed that you got all fired up for nothing?"  Gil started the call.

"I still gave her hell for sending it in the first place but we're cool."

"I forgot to ask before but have you called your parents?"  Gil felt nervous just asking the question.

"I did...but hell I was chicken.  Just said I was coming to visit with them for a few days...I did say I had a surprise and wouldn't tell them what it was.  I feel a bit bad now...do you think I should man up and call back and tell them?"

"Well...it's up to you, you know them and what they're like but...yes, I do think you should give them...at least a clue.  Surprises can turn nasty."

"You're right.  I know.  I'll do it now while I can and I'll call you back.  Okay?"

"Okay.  Good luck."

"Yeah.  Love you.  Need you big time now."

"I'm here for you...I know it's a long way away but I'm rooting for you."

"I know.  Going now."  He ended the call abruptly and Gil stared at his cell.

"More fucking drama.   I tell you this is worse than fucking Eastenders."  Rory rolled his eyes which seemed to be his new habit.

"What's fucking Eastenders?"

"It's a British soap...more fucking doom and gloom than all other fucking programmes put together, me Mammy is addicted and runs her life according to the storylines.  It's a fucking nightmare I tell you."

"I don't think this counts as doom and gloom.  Nick's going to tell his parents he's taking me to meet them."

"Don't be so fucking sure...that's definitely been a plot."

"Well I'll have to wait and see how it goes; he's calling me back when he's made the call."

"We have to leave for the airport in an hour."  Carlos addressed Rory.

"I know.  You know I'm going to miss you guys...I've had a fucking ball."

Carlos laughed.  "We've had the worst weather for forty years, we've abandoned camp, spent a day in a truck shovelling snow and you've had a fucking ball?"

"An adventure.  It's been a great adventure and I've fucking loved it."

"I don't even know what you do for a living....apart from being an expletive specialist."  Gil and Carlos laughed.

"I'm a geologist with Shell oil...work out of Amsterdam some of the time but travel around most of the time.  They gave me a three month sabbatical for this project."

"Really?  That sounds like a good job...and if you do a lot of travelling surely you must have adventures?"  Gil was impressed he'd not given any thought as to Rory's occupation before this.

"Oh, it's a good job and pays well and keeps me Mammy happy.  But adventures?  No fucking way Jose.  Most of the time I travel in groups of fucking heterosexual men and women who bang each other silly..."  He laughed.  "...before going home to their dutiful wives and husbands.  One of the men did bang me for a couple of months but then he went back to his wife.  The fucking snake."

Then Gil's cell rang...

***

"Hey...how did it go?"

"Man, it was much much better than I ever thought...they seemed...I don't know...pleased...yeah, pleased, that I'm bringing someone home, 'at last', Mom said.  Can you believe that?  I can't."  He'd answered his own question before Gil could.

"Good news."  But Gil wondered if they'd still be happy if they knew, exactly, who it was that Nick was bringing home.  "You said 'they' so you spoke to your father, too?"

"Yeah, I did...called me 'son'.  I don't remember the last time he called me that..."  Nick stopped and Gil sensed a lot of emotion in his voice.  He got up from the couch and went into Carlos' kitchen for a little privacy.

"It's taken you by surprise but it's a happy surprise for you, sweetheart."

"Yeah.  Yeah...but man.  It seems so long ago that I was even considered a son...the gay black sheep more likely."  He was getting his emotions under control.  "The next thing will be you...see what they think about my life choices."

"It'll be fine, I'm sure."  Although he wasn't sure about that at all.  "They can't accept you on one hand and then take it away with the other just because they don't approve of me..."

"...yeah, babe, they can.  It happened with my sister Angela...they hated her boyfriend, Cordell..."  Nick chuckled.  "...he was a complete asshole though..."

"...like me?"

"Even worse."  Nick chuckled again.  "But she eloped and married him and they cut her off...no qualms...but it didn't last the year out and she was back with her tail between her legs.  He beat her up."

"Well I promise not to beat you up.  Don't know about the eloping bit though."

"We'll see about that Dr Grissom.  I cannot believe that I'm going to see you...day after tomorrow.  I thought it was going to be such a long time and now this.  Things are happening fast...you don't think it's too fast do you?"  Gil almost felt the doubt creep into Nick.

"No, I don't.  Don't you think this has taken us, me, ten years to get where we are now. Hardly the speed of sound is it?"

"It isn't, you're right, and I know this is good...of course..."   He laughed.  "We could have been here, I don't know, man, nine and half years ago."

"Oh, Nick, what a waste..."

"...no.  No, no, it wasn't.  The right time is right now...we could have fallen apart before, who knows...but now I know you're a keeper and I'm ready, too.  No use crying over spilled milk."

"No, I guess not."  But Gil could have wept there and then at the waste of his life when they could have had so much.  They wouldn't have fallen apart...he knew that.

"I'm right, babe.  It just the way the dice fall."

Gil smirked.  "Into metaphors now then?  Two in two sentences."

"Life's like that!"  Nick shot back and they both laughed.  "I feel good now...I need to go to bed...or take Sam first...nearly forgot him I hope he isn't listening.  Love you, babe.  Love you a lot."  He sounded happy and that made Gil feel happy.

"I love you Nick like I've never loved anyone else."

"Just you remember that.  Call me in about nine hours if you're still able to.  Bye."

"Bye sweetheart."  Gil ended the call and hoped that Judge and Mrs Stokes could keep their good humour a little bit longer.

When Gil went out into the living room Rory was all packed and ready to leave...with his anorak in his hands.

"I'm off."  His eyes were glistening and Gil felt almost paternal towards him.

"Here."  Gil went up to him and hugged him tight.  Rory dropped his anorak and hugged right back.  "Thank you for everything.  I think you managed to sort me out more easily that my therapist..."

"...you've got a fucking therapist?  Waste of money."  Rory was indignant.

"She's a friend and she's not charging me."  Gil was laughing.

"That's alright then.  I wish you all the luck in the fucking world Gil Grissom and if I'm ever in Las Vegas I expect you to put me up...for fucking free."

"I promise I will."  And before Gil could move Rory planted a kiss on Gil's mouth. It was quick and it was platonic but it was a kiss.

"There!  I fucking stole a kiss."

"You did.  More than one of I remember correctly."

"Ahhh, Gillll...I'm fucking young and impressionable; forgive me."  Rory whined.

"I do.  And you'll find you own Mr Right one day soon I'm sure."

"I fucking hope so.  I'm going.  Now.  Don't follow me out and I won't look back."  And that reminded Gil of Nick.

He left the apartment and as Carlos followed he turned back.  "I think Anna will be back before I get back.  Keep her entertained will you, please?"

"I will, don't worry."  But when the door had closed Gil wondered how on earth he would keep Anna entertained...and then it struck him.  They could talk... he chuckled to himself and then remembered he still had e-mails to check.

Nick's e-mails were all about his and Sam's daily life including anecdotes about Sara, Greg and DB.  He seemed settled enough at work but had mentioned about leaving when Gil had been in Vegas with him.  Gil didn't mind what Nick chose to do...as long as was happy.

Heather had sent a quite chatty e-mail...mostly about Gil's condition, as she called it but then rebuked herself and said he had no specific condition and was probably just confused.  In truth she was confused herself about what was wrong with him.  He decided that he should tell her about Rory's theory and the fact that he suspected that it was absolutely right.

He also confessed that he'd stopped taking...having completely forgotten in the excitement in camp...his antidepressants.   So, he said, he wasn't going to take any more and he felt good.  In all honesty he felt more than good.  He felt on top of the world...except for seeing Judge and Mrs Stokes in the very near future.   He pressed send just as the bell rang.

Anna-Marie looked happy and relaxed and she hugged Gil.  "Don't you think it is really weird that we three project leaders have all found love in the camp?  I have been thinking about it...we are all very lucky and the camp...well the camp was lucky.  That's what I think!"  She laughed and was very happy.

"How long have you...liked...Carlos?"

"I always liked him of course, and then at Emilio's when I got out of the shower...it just hit me.  Really hit me."  She was still laughing and went to the kitchen to see if there was coffee.  "More coffee?"  She called.

"Please."

"With whiskey?"

"Why not.  We all had one...actually I don't know about Carlos but Rory and I did."

"Shall I make a meal do you think?  He has a lot of food in his fridge.  Pasta?"

"I don't mind at all...whatever you want."

"Okay.  On the other hand I could wait for Carlos...he really likes cooking.  Me...not so much."

"I'm with you on that."

It struck him that he really didn't have to keep Anna-Marie entertained since she was on a high.  And probably felt just like he did about Nick...he smiled to no one in particular...times were good he decided.

***

When he arrived back Carlos said the barber was open.  Gil must have looked puzzled.

"I heard you say you've got to have a haircut and shave off your beard before you meet Nick's parents...well there's a barber in the shops beneath the apartments and he's open.

"That's great; I'd forgotten...thanks Carlos...I'll go now, if that's okay?"  Gil had forgotten about his appearance...somewhat like an aging Bigfoot he thought.

"Of course and I'll get something to eat."

After a Spaghetti Bolognese thrown together very skilfully by Carlos, Gil, his hair very neat and face beard free, got ready to leave...he had been prepared to go by taxi but neither Carlos nor Anna-Marie would countenance that.  They would take him to the airport but he made them promise categorically that they would just drop him off and leave.  He told them that's what he made Nick do...not quite...but the white lie suited him.

He hugged them both at the apartment and thanked them for everything...most especially their friendship.  He said nothing about going back to the project and neither did they...they were, in fact, so besotted with each other that little else mattered to them.

In spite of the weather everything went like clockwork.  The plane was about three quarters full and he didn't have a row of seat to himself but two out of three wasn't bad.  He slept on and off for the entire flight except for the disembarking, waiting around and then embarking again but the supposedly eighteen hour flight took seventeen hours and twenty minutes.  The first time he'd ever been ahead of schedule.

Despite the sleep he was feeling completely exhausted as he waited for his suitcase but also excited to be seeing Nick so soon after leaving him and apprehensive about meeting the 'folks'.  He would get a taxi and be with Nick in about an hour...give or take...

He threw his duffel bag over his shoulder and dragged his suitcase out into the main concourse after being grilled for nearly an hour by a zealous immigration official.  Despite Gil's credentials as a forensic scientist on an officially sponsored dig he seemed to think that Gil was taking the opportunity to import drugs.  All his belongings were checked once by sniffer dog and again by hand.  Several phone calls were made...to whom Gil had no idea.  He was certain it wasn't the guy's mother since he was a bastard.  His little joke to himself helped him keep his temper and he accepted his fate.

Gil had said he was going to meet his fiancé's parents for the first time before his onward journey to Las Vegas.  He neglected to mention the sex of his fiancé and thought it was better if he kept the information to himself for whatever reason.  When asked who he was visiting and he said, Judge and Mrs Stokes, the official became visibly jittery.

But it was still with deep regret that the official jobsworth couldn't find anything and reluctantly allowed him into the United States of America.

He was one of the last to leave immigration and he was focussed on the main doors which he knew would lead him to the taxi rank.

"Hey!  Way to go to miss the love of your life."  It was Nick and he spun around nearly upending his suitcase but dropped it anyway when Nick found him and their arms clasped each other.  It must have been the tightest bear hug he'd ever experienced but he was in the arms of his lover.  He would never leave him again...he knew that.

They didn't speak for what seemed like ten minutes...it was probably about five minutes...just standing there feeling each other's body in such close proximity.  He had missed Nick so much this time...why the hell he didn't miss him all those years ago when he could have had him...all the time...he still had no fucking idea.  But he wasn't going to let go now.

Nick pulled back a little and grinned from ear to ear.  "Man, you look shit tired.  Come on, I've got a rental.  What took you so long?"

"I was searched for drugs.  Twice."

"Did they find the tylenol?"

"I don't even have any tylenol.  Nothing.  I think I disappointed him."  He'd thrown away his anti-depressants at Carlos' apartment.

"You got through.  You look very smart after the last time I saw you...good haircut."  Nick was still grinning and carrying Gil's duffel bag as Gil dragged his suitcase towards the elevators to the car lot.

"I had it cut in Asuncion yesterday afternoon and he also did a wonderful wet shave on my beard."

"You look very presentable...Momma likes that.  Did you have a beard when you met them...before?"

"Yes, I did.  I shaved it off before you came out of hospital...do you remember that?"

"Oh yeah...I do.  You had it before and then you didn't have it afterwards and I wanted to know why and...I can't remember what you said."

"No, I can't."  Of course he did.

"Liar, liar.  You never forget."  Nick's grin had faded to a frown.

"I did it because the last time we'd been together before...before Gordon...I didn't have one and we got back together so..."  He sounded lame but it was the reason.

"I remember now...one of the times you came back...and stayed...as long as you'd ever done."

"Yes.  But this time, Nick.  This time I'm going nowhere.  I'm not going to go back to Paraguay."

"Did you tell them?"

"No."

Nick laughed but it was a bitter sound.  "Then you'll go back."

Gil stopped in his tracks and Nick carried on but then stopped and looked back.  "I will not go back.  I mean it.  I didn't say anything because it never came up in conversation and we had enough to think about with the snow and the conditions."

"Okay."

"No, it's not okay Nick.  You have to trust me...I know, I know you're going to say I've got to earn that trust but it has to start somewhere and now seems as good a time as any."

"Okay."  It appeared Nick wasn't prepared to say any more.   He started walking again but Gil stayed put.   He turned back.  "What now?"  And he was clearly irritable as he walked back and stood close to Gil.

"This is all wrong...we're supposed to be happy to be together again but we're already bickering.  I love you.  I love you more now than ever and I want us to be together but..."

"...but what the fuck?  You want me to roll over and completely trust you again after all you've done to me.  It's fine while we're texting and apart and we're madly in love and missing each other but now you're here in front of me...I remember, Gil...I remember all the heartache I've been through and I see some things never change.  You say you're not going back but you will.  I wouldn't mind if you said you were or thought you might but no, you say you're not going back but you haven't told them.  You were with Carlos day and night and you never thought to say that you won't be going back.  This is your...your...signature behaviour."  Nick finished and stood looking at Gil.

"We're in the airport; do you want me to leave?  It's as good as place as any."  Now Gil sounded as bitter as Nick...

***

They stood staring at one another.  Gil's heart was breaking into small pieces and his chest was constricted at the enormity of the question he'd just asked.  He could feel all his plans for the two of them, such as they were, slipping through his fingers.

Nick didn't speak but he shook his head and looked down at the ground.  "No."

"Then tell me what to do.  Tell me how to mend fences because as sure as fuck I have no idea what to do.  If you will not believe me when I make the most basic of statements how are we going to continue?  How, Nick?  Give me some pointers because as sure as God made little apples I have no fucking idea.  None."

Neither man had raised their voice but it seemed to Gil that this was the most important conversation he'd ever had...and ever likely to have...with Nick. The ballbreaker...

"I don't know.  I'm just as much in the dark as you.  I want you.  I think I need you in my life...and I love you.  I know that much."

"Then where do we go from here?"

"The rental?  Back to the Inn and get some sleep?"

Gil nodded and started walking towards the escalators again and Nick followed.  They didn't speak until the bags were stored in the trunk and they were in the passenger seats.

"That didn't go as planned."  Nick sighed and made no attempt to start the car.

"No, it didn't.  But I suppose we have brought to light some important issues.  I want to move forward and try and atone for my past...but you're convinced that my past behaviour will just return...as it always has. I am not going back...except..."

"...except what?"  Nick looked pissed.

"I'm not going back; as far as I'm concerned it's done and over but I signed a contract and they may hold me to it...even if I say I'll repay the money.  It's a longshot and I don't think they would do it but it's a possibility.  But that would be the only reason I would go back...and to counter that argument I need to find work so that I can legitimately say I can't go back."

"I guess that's reasonable."  Gil almost sighed his relief at the statement but stopped himself for fear of fanning the flames of Nick's anger.  "What you said just about us sums up the situation.  I do feel weird; I was so happy to see you but the old insecurity came back as soon as you said you weren't going back.  Because despite whatever you've ever said you've always gone back...you've always left me."

"Yes.  That's absolutely right.  But I made a promise to you before I left Vegas that I would change.  It's hard to do, I know, but it seems to me it's going to be just as hard for you to accept the changes in me.  That first change is that I mean what I say.  Not going back to Paraguay.  I will repay the money given the chance...unless they do enforce my contract.  I'll have the divorce settlement money so there's no problem...and I do still have savings...I'm not reliant on that money coming in.  I want to work in Vegas.  I have no idea what work I'll do but honestly...and I mean it...I don't care what I do.

"On the flight back between sleeping I was thinking about what I could actually do..."

"...consultancy work?"

"There is that but if it takes me out of town then, no, I don't want it.  I wondered if I could try my hand at the poker tables..."

"...gambling?  Man, I know you're good but that's risky..."

"...no, working at the tables.  I have an impeccable CV and a thorough knowledge of the game.  I bet I could get in...I have a few contacts."

Nick stared at him.  "I guess you could.  It'd be a job and they reckon the high rollers tip well."  He started laughing.  "It'd certainly be a complete career change."

"And I could work nights."  Gil added as a flourish.

"Wow.  You have thought about it."

"I have."

"I was going to kiss you properly when we got back to the car but it seems wrong now we've argued."

"I'm up for a kiss any time...but I know what you mean...we really need to get reacquainted.  And, Nick?  This is not going to be plain sailing.  A lot of...shit has happened...and I'm holding my hands up to it...but to be together we have to look forward together and not back.  Like I said it's a leap of faith."

"Yeah.  Sorry.  I really fucked up your homecoming didn't I?  And if you'd gone how the fuck would I have explained that to the Judge...just when he's acknowledged that I am, actually, his son."

"There is that.  Are you nervous?"

"Yeah, man.  Never done it before...hey, maybe that's why I was acting like an idiot."

"You were not acting like an idiot, you have concerns and quite rightly so and I've only myself to blame for that.  It's payback."

"No...it's not payback, I don't want to get you back for what you did...I do want to go forward like you say and you need to kick my butt to make me remember that."

"It's a very nice butt.  I've missed it a great deal."

"Yeah...know what you mean."  Nick was back to grinning again.  "Let's get to the Inn...what do you say?"

"What are we waiting for?"  Gil smiled...he was relieved.  Fecking relieved he thought and laughed.  "I have some stories I must tell you but first I need a shower and some real food."

"Okay.  Not keen on this car...need a truck not a hybrid."

"It seems very smooth after the truck I made the journey in from the camp to Asunción.  You've been in it haven't you?"

"Yeah.  I have."  He shrugged as he remembered his fateful journey to the camp and then the truck ride back to town so soon after.

"Well by the time we finished up my bones were rattling in time with the suspension and my ass was sore."

"Maybe not too sore?"  Nick didn't take his eyes of the road.

Gil chuckled.  "No, not that sore."

Both men thought the journey to the Inn passed in companionable silence but both men were thinking hard about their encounter at the airport and the impact their shared past would have on the shared future.

***

Once they were in their room Gil took a long hot shower and was feeling a little more secure.  For a few minutes he'd thought it really was the end of the road for them...

He also thought some more about working in a casino.  He thought he could do it... maybe not long term but for sufficient time to be able to look around for something more in line with his skills.  On the other hand he might really like it and stay.  He needed to speak to a guy at The Venetian who he'd helped a couple of years ago...he said if Gil ever needed a favour to get in touch and this seemed like just the right time.

He and Nick decided to go out for a meal...nothing fancy...Gil had expressed a desire for soup and crackers.  Nick said he would join him...sounded like a plan.  They laughed together and Gil hugged him tightly again and although they still hadn't kissed Gil now felt a lot calmer than he'd been at the airport.

"I love you.   I do promise that I will never leave."

"You were going to at the airport."

"Only if you wanted me to go.  If one of us isn't invested in this relationship...then it isn't a relationship."

"Wow.  Profound.  Have you been thinking about that?"  Nick grinned at Gil.

"I have done little else but think of you and why I behaved so badly towards you...and even Sara.  To be really honest though...I'm not particularly bothered about Sara.  She brought a lot of it on herself but you...you did nothing and all I did was abuse your trust.  That's going to change.  I promise."

"Okay.  I believe you."  And Nick sounded a lot more optimistic than he had done at the airport.

"Let's go and eat and I'll tell you about the theory...you'll be surprised.  And about my little...how do I say this...attempted seduction..."

"...what?  You..."

"...not me...someone tried it on with me.  Come on...let's eat and I'll tell you the whole story."

There was a diner less than a block away and they settled into a booth and luckily soup was on the menu.   Texas Tortilla Soup sounded about right...with tortillas and not crackers.

They ordered and stuck to drinking water and as they waited Nick started.

"Man, I've been patient so tell me."

"There was this intern, Rory.  An Irishman in his twenties and we ended up sharing a tent..."

"...uh-uh."

"Exactly.  He was the guy who nursed me when I was sick and I was very appreciative...maybe I should have realised he was gay from the attention he gave me...but I didn't and..."  Gil related the story of the seduction.

"So what do you have nightmares about?"  Was Nick's question and it blindsided Gil.

"I...I..."  Gil spluttered.

"What?"

"You.  Not very often but I do...in the Perspex...coffin holding a gun to your..."  Suddenly Gil was feeling very sick at reminding Nick of that fateful night.

"Oh."  Nick didn't seem bothered and Gil relaxed a little.

"Do you?"

"No.  Well not for years.  So did you hurt him?"

"I bruised his neck...it was a death grip and in that moment I could have killed him but that only did last a moment."

"Wow."

"The worst thing was that until I woke up...only a matter of say ten or fifteen seconds I thought it was you and turned towards you...and when it wasn't you I was bitterly disappointed."

"I'm glad you've told me now and not on the cell...I can see that you are telling the truth."

"I always tell the truth!"  Gil was slightly indignant.

"I know you do...but if I was suspicious and let's face it I have been known to be unreasonable in the last couple of hours..."  He laughed.  "...I could've taken it the wrong way."

"That's why I didn't tell you before...for fear of being misunderstood.  But the very interesting thing is that he asked me about you and I told him a little of our backstory...how I behaved towards you and do you know he came up with the reason..."

"...the reason you treated me..."

"...yes."

"Just came up with it out of thin air?"

"Yes.  And what I've been doing is trying to find some complex reasoning behind my behaviour and he just came up with a simple idea...and the more I thought about it the more I think...I know he's right.  I e-mailed Heather just yesterday about it and I'll see what she has to say.  But I believe it..."  Their soups arrived.  "Smells good."

"So?"

"So what?"

"God.  Gil.  What is the solution?"  Nick was exasperated but chuckling.

"Oh."  Gil laughed.  "Sorry...simple.  I did it because I could...he guessed I was an only child used to getting my own way...a spoiled boy and I suppose I was, not materialistically of course, but in my thirst for knowledge my parents did all they could to help and that's exactly what I always wanted.  And that I chose the two people out of the entire population who actually enabled my behaviour.  He said once you'd had me back the first time...and the same with Sara...I was able to go back and forwards sure in the knowledge that you'd both have me back.   You both did.  So I continued to do it..."

"...so you're saying it's my fault?  I enabled...we enabled you?"

"You did enable me but it's not your fault at all.  Just mine for being a selfish asshole.  Time and time again.  I'm sorry."

"Because I wanted you...and so did Sara...we just put up with your behaviour in the hope that the next time you'd stay."

"That's it.  What do you think?"

"I think you should eat your soup while I think about it."

"Okay."  They both started the soup which was still very hot and also hot with spices.

After a few minutes Nick put down his spoon and sat back and looked at Gil.  "I think it could be right.  So this Rory tried to seduce you and then solved the mystery?"

"Yes.  Life is stranger than fiction.  I also have a confession to make.  I've stopped taking the antidepressants...initially because I was sick and forgot and then I took them and then just forgot them again.  When I remembered I decided not to take any more.  I really do not believe I am depressed."

"Have you told Heather?"

"I told her the first time and she asked me to take them again but then I forgot and I told her yesterday that I'd stopped and wouldn't be taking them again...I've thrown them away and it's a good job I did in view of that customs guy's paranoia.  Do you think I'm depressed?"

"I don't know, do I?  I'm not qualified to say...but man, you don't really seem depressed....you were pissed off in Vegas but that's not the same is it?  I think you were depressed when Warrick was murdered."

"I think we all were back then.  Remember McKeen?"

"Yeah.  Closest I've ever come to murder...although I did kill Jekyll."

"That was self-defence and quite justifiable.  In fact, you could have argued McKeen was justifiable..."

"...he'd thrown away his gun so that would have taken some explaining.  He's been moved to a federal facility...out of state.  He was running a racket from inside..."

"...Jesus...how do they do it?"  Nick sighed.  "Finish your soup.  It's good isn't it?"

"It's okay."

"Only okay?"

"Maria's tortilla soup is unbeatable."

"Maria, your nurse..."

"...housekeeper mostly but yeah, she did nurse me."

"I didn't see a shirt you'd said you buy for me...did you get one?"  Gil changed the subject and Nick chuckled.

"I did.  It's very classy...just pale blue cotton, short sleeved nice cut; it'll go with your eyes and your black pants.  Tommy Hilfiger."

"Sounds good.  I don't think I've had a designer shirt before."  He frowned as he tried to remember if he had.

"Gil?  You haven't."  They both laughed and then finished their meal.

Gil felt a lot more relaxed...as if he'd turned a corner with Nick.

"I was thinking about your contract.  If they did demand your services we could get Susan to look at it...I bet she could find a loop hole."

"Good idea...I don't really think it'll come to that...but one must cover every eventuality."  Nick chuckled some more.  "Which reminds me...what did you say to her?  She'd pre-empted you...luckily for her I think."

Nick laughed.  "Yeah, I couldn't chew her that bad since she was speaking to you when I got through and she did apologise so..."

"....have you told her we're meeting your..."

"Oh, noooo...I don't want her coming in all guns blazing and she would.  No, I told Mom just keep it us four...keep it simple.  She agreed."

Just then Gil had butterflies in his stomach.  "I don't know whether it's the spicy soup or the thought of meeting your parents but my stomach just did a flip."

"Mine's been doing that since I had the idea...but it's got to be done."

"We're still engaged to be married then?"

Nick smiled almost shyly.  "Yeah, we are."

"Here's to tomorrow then."  He held up his water glass for a toast and Nick clinked his glass against it.

"Tomorrow."

Both men had serious, but unspoken misgivings about the meeting.  Gil hoped that the Stokes' would now fully accept their son and didn't care what they thought about him.  Nick wasn't bothered about their acceptance, or not, of his homosexuality...he just hoped they'd at least be polite to Gil...

***

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