Title: Fear of Your Shadow
Author: twins1729
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: NC-17
Warning: WiP
Note: I'm sorry if Nick seems a little OOC; he's a little mean in the beginning.
Summary: While driving away from a crime scene, Warrick tells Nick about some personal demons. Leading Nick into telling some of his own. Will Warrick be able to help his friend's pain?

***

"Man, I have never seen that many bullet holes at one scene," Warrick complained for about the fifth time since he and Nick left the case.

"Yeah, but it seems simple enough. We know the husband made his own guns and that there was some type of accident," Nick added while trying to make light of the work ahead of them.

"I would like an easy case. It seems like every time something seems simple in the beginning, it goes in a completely different direction and we have ten times the work than we thought..." Warrick trailed off as his cell phone began to ring. He opened it and brought it to his ear, "Brown."

Nick looked at Warrick as he held the phone with his right hand and continued to drive with his left. He then began a conversation with the person on the phone.

"I'm fine Dr. Campbell. What's up? ...Yes, I have...No...Everything you told me has worked...Yes, I'm sleeping through the night...She's fine...Yes...He's here right now...Yes...He's doing good...Probably not, unless you want me to...Yes...No, I'll be fine...Really, I don't think I need it...Yes...Okay, I promise...Yup...Bye."

Nick was more than confused when Warrick hung up the phone and placed it in his pocket.

"Who was that?" Nick didn't really want to ask, but it was clear the other person was talking about him.

"Dr. Campbell," Warrick replied.

Nick kept looking at him. Warrick didn't say anymore.

"And..." Nick encouraged.

Warrick looked at Nick and sighed. He knew he would have to tell him one of these days.

"She's my therapist. She was checking up on me."

"Your therapist? Why do you need a therapist?" Nick was even more confused.

"I needed a therapist. I haven't seen her for almost a year."

"Oh, then why did you need one."

Warrick sighed and prepared to tell his best friend the story.

"After you were...taken," He began, "Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled that I helped find you and rescue you. However, shortly afterward, I began having nightmares about the incident. I mean, they weren't even about you most of the time. Sometimes, it was me that was buried and I usually killed myself."

"Are you serious?" Nick couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I know you actually went through it and I'll never know what that felt like, but the dreams felt so real. I would seriously wake up at the gun shot, covered in sweat, the works. Tina suggested that I should go see a therapist. It was a good idea. Dr. Campbell helped me with everything."

"More than the dreams?"

"Other than the dreams, I was also feeling a tremendous amount of guilt. It was a 50/50 chance that you went to that scene instead of me. I could never get that out of my mind."

"Warrick, we talked about that. I told you it was chance, maybe even meant to be, that I was the one that was taken."

"I know, but I really needed to get that slammed into my head. Dr. Campbell did a really good job of doing that."

"So, you're fine now?"

"I think so. I haven't had a nightmare for a year-and-a-half and, like I said, she convinced me that it wasn't my fault."

Nick smiled and was glad that Warrick was okay, even though he still felt bad about what he experienced.

"I'm glad you opened up to me. You should've really told me sooner though."

"I know," Warrick sighed, "She even told me to, but I could never say it."

"It's okay," Nick assured, "Do you want me to tell you something personal about me so we're even?"

Nick was mostly joking, but when Warrick turned to him and smiled, Nick knew he would have to think of something.

"It better be good," Warrick joked.

"Um..." Nick began to think, "Well, after it happened..."

"Your kidnapping?" Warrick interrupted.

"Yeah," Nick mildly flinched, "About a month after that, Greg took me out. You know, just for fun and to make me feel better."

Warrick nodded for Nick to continue and Nick began to regret telling him.

"Well, we got wasted. He took me back to his place and we fooled around for a bit."

"Fooled around?"

"Yeah, we ended up having sex."

"You slept with Greg!?" Warrick asked in sheer astonishment.

Nick just nodded.

"It was awesome, too."

"What happened? Has it been weird for you guys since?"

Nick looked away.

"We dated for seven months."

Warrick almost slammed on the brakes, but controlled himself.

"Seven months? And when exactly did you start dating?"

"Mid-June. We broke up around January of last year."

"Why did you break up?"

"Well, we didn't really break up. I dumped him."

"Why?"

Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Warrick glanced at him and saw the sadness in his face.

"I was stupid. I was scared about where our relationship was headed, so I ended it," Nick admitted with a distress-filled voice, "That's not what I told him though."

"What did you tell him?" Warrick could hear the pain in Nick's voice and he was astonished that there was this side of Nick he didn't know.

"I told him that I wanted a husband and a family," Nick sniffed and took another deep breath, "And that he wasn't the right person for me to do that with." Nick's voice was beginning to crack.

"So, if that's not how you felt. Why did you tell him that?"

"I...ah, I...Like I said, I was scared. I loved him more than anything. He was my life. Some days I wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. Then, some days I was anxious about my feelings for him. I wanted to end it, just to release the burden."

"I'm sorry Nick, but that sounds pretty pathetic."

"I know. I've regretted it every day ever since. Right after Greg got hurt, I went to see him in the hospital. He was sleeping, so I sat with him for an hour before he woke up. I was holding his hand when he opened his eyes. He smiled at me and I nearly burst into tears. For some reason I decided to lean and kiss him. Then I told him that I still loved him. Do you want to know what he said?"

"Sure," Warrick nodded, he was really beginning to understand Nick's feelings.

"He looked me straight in the eye and said very coldly, 'Fuck you.' I immediately let go of his hand and left the room. I haven't been able to look at him in the eye until recently."

"He sounds pissed." Warrick decided that he was going to have a talk with Greg later. He was sure he needed to hear his side of the story.

"He hates me. He truly can't stand to be around me," Nick said very sadly.

"Is he gay?" Warrick asked quietly, "I mean...would he date a woman?"

"No, he's gay. We both are."

Warrick smiled and realized that dating a guy meant that Nick was gay, too.

"What?" Nick asked and couldn't help but laugh a little at Warrick's expression.

"Nothing, I just realized that you were gay."

Nick began to laugh loudly.

"Yeah, that's something that goes along with dating a man."

Warrick laughed again.

"I'll help you with this, okay? Whether or not you get back together with Greg."

"Thanks buddy. I don't think that will happen anytime soon though. Just promise me you won't talk to Greg."

"I promise."

***

Warrick had just gotten back to the lab and taken a shower. He was walking through the halls when he saw Greg quietly working in one of the labs.

Remembering Nick's words, he almost backed off, but his curiosity was working overtime and he really wanted to know Greg's side of the story.

"Hey Greg," Warrick said casually as he walked into the small lab.

"Hey," Greg replied not even looking up.

"How's the evidence coming?" Warrick asked, trying to make a conversation.

"The evidence?" Greg asked back, a little surprised at Warrick's choice of words. He was about to answer, but he remembered something, "Warrick, I've been in here 15 minutes. Plus, you're not even on this case."

Warrick felt mildly embarrassed.

"Sorry, bad try," he admitted.

Greg just looked at him in confusion, then looked back down at the table and got back to work. Warrick grabbed a stool and sat across from Greg at the table.

It took Warrick a few minutes to build up the courage, and figure out what to ask.

"Greg," he started, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Greg looked back up.

"Sure," Greg responded timidly while shrugging.

"Do you still love Nick?"

Greg's eyes shot open and he was almost speechless.

"How do?...I mean, what did he?..."

"Greg, it's okay," Warrick tried to calm him, "Just answer the question, please."

Greg took a deep breath and controlled himself.

"I never stopped," he finally answered.

Warrick smiled.

"Would you ever consider getting back together wi-?..."

"No," Greg interupted harshly and got back to work.

Warrick sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Why?"

Greg glared at him.

"You've obviously talked to him. You know he dumped me."

"Yes, he talked to me and told me about you two. Though it felt like he left a lot out, so I wanted to talk to you about it."

"If this is his idea of trying to get back together with me..." Greg warned.

"He told me specifically not to talk to you," Warrick assured, "This was my idea."

Greg sighed deeply and nodded.

"What do you want to know?"

"Just start from the beginning."

"Well, he probably told you a lot of this," Greg informed, "About a month after his disappearance, we were hanging out one night. We ended up getting trashed and took a cab back to my place. As soon as we got through my door, we were all over each other for some reason. I really only remember bits and pieces, but I remember being really horny. Somehow we ended up in my bed just going at it. It was awesome."

Warrick smiled. Nick had said the exact same thing.

"That's basically what Nick said. What happened in the morning?"

"Well..." Greg began.

Nick squinted when he opened his eyes. The sun was shining bright outside the window and he knew it was after noon. When he began to stretch, he suddenly realized he was completely naked. Before he had a chance to wonder anything, Greg walked through the door, wearing sweats and holding a cup of coffee.

"Hey Nick," Greg spoke quietly, "Did I wake you?"

"No," Nick said while shaking his head. That's when he realized he felt like shit. "I must have a hangover."

Greg smirked.

"You probably do."

Nick pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What did we do last night?"

"By the looks of it, we had sex all night," Greg replied and handed Nick the coffee.

Nick smiled as he began remembering the events that unfolded the night before. Greg smiled back and sat at the end of his bed.

"I don't really remember too much of last night," Nick admitted.

"Me neither," Greg agreed, "I don't even remember why we started making out."

Nick laughed.

"Me neither."

"I think I remember lying you down on my bed," Greg sighed.

"I think I remember fucking you," Nick admitted; he placed his coffee and the nightstand, and leaned back against the headboard. He slowly worked his hand down to his crotch and began to stroke his cock.

Greg's breath hitched when saw Nick's hand disappear underneath the blanket.

"Nick...," he almost moaned.

Nick looked back up at him and Greg could see how horny he was.

"Come here," Nick whispered seductively.

Greg smiled and crawled over to Nick. Nick lied down further on the bed helped direct Greg so that he was on top of him. Greg could feel Nick's hardened cock at that angle and fought the urge to grind his hips into it.

"I think you're wearing too much clothes," Nick spoke while slowly placing his hands on Greg's sides and pulling off his t-shirt.

Greg let Nick finish removing all of his clothes and help him underneath the blanket where they could feel each other completely.

They began to kiss passionately and tried to enjoy every aspect the experience.

"Make love to me," Greg whispered and crawled off Nick and lied on his side. Nick smiled and turned to his side as well and wrapped Greg in the spooning position.

Greg was surprised when Nick leaned and stretched his arm to grab a condom and some lube out of the nightstand's drawer. He wasn't sure if Nick remembered for some reason, or if Nick was just making a great assumption as to where Greg kept his supplies.

After quickly preparing himself and Greg, Nick was inside of him. He moved slowly and sensually. Greg was overwhelmed by the emotions he was feeling. They never spoke, the only sounds that were heard was their heavy breathing that slightly hitched during every thrust. Nick grabbed Greg's hand and laced their fingers together and brought them up to Greg's chest. He began to slowly and lightly kiss Greg's neck.

Greg turned his head and connected his mouth with Nick's.

They stayed like that for almost 30 minutes; just Nick gently thrusting in and out of the smaller man next to him. Sometimes Nick would let go of Greg's hand and let it roam around his body. Including down to his cock and stroking it to Greg's liking.

They both came unexpectedly. Greg first with Nick's hand still wrapped around his dick; he felt it jolt in his hand. Nick thought it was one of the hottest things ever. Before he even had a chance to think about it any longer, he was cumming hard into the condom.

"That was amazing," Nick whispered into Greg's ear.

"Yeah," Greg could only gasp, "Better than last night."

"Do you even remember last night?"

"Not really," Greg laughed.

Nick tightened his grip on Greg and kissed his head.

"Wow," Warrick exhaled, "No wonder you guys dated."

"Right after that we talked a little and decided to date," Greg finished, "Really nothing I want to tell you right now, except for when he dumped me."

"Okay, you can tell me that...for now," Warrick agreed.

Greg began to glare, and sighed annoyingly.

"We dated for seven months. I never felt anything wrong with our relationship. Then, out of the blue, he dumped me."

"Really, that sudden?"

"Yeah. I thought we were in love. We spent almost every night with each other. Sometimes, I felt he was kind of distant, but I guess I was convincing myself that he was going to propose or something."

Warrick sighed and would've comforted Greg, but he seemed to be too pissed.

"Why did you think he was going to propose?"

"Well, he was being all secretive. Not suspicious or anything, but it just felt like he was going out of his way to hid his feelings."

"Okay."

"Then one night he asks to talk to me. I went over to his place and he sits me down..."

Greg looked as if fire would start to flame out of his ears.

"What did he do?" Warrick asked concerned.

"He started just...putting me down and being mean to me. Going on about how he wanted a family and he wasn't sure if I was the right person to do that with."

"He did tell me that."

"Did he tell you that maybe even being with a woman would be better? That having a fake relationship with someone he didn't love, than being with me would make him happier."

Warrick's mouth fell open. He was about to respond but Greg continued.

"He called me a whore."

"What?!"

"He called me a whore."

"Why in the world would he say that?" Warrick was beginning to get pissed as well.

"I'm not exactly sure but I have an idea. Not that it's justifiable. When we first began dating I told him that I never had a monogamous relationship before and I wasn't sure I could jump into one right away."

"What did he say?"

"He completely understood. He told me to attempt be faithful for a month. Just to see if I liked it. If I couldn't do it, we could have an open relationship."

"And you did that?"

"Yeah. I tried it for a month and I liked it. Nick was the only thing I needed. Besides, I only really slept with other guys once, maybe twice, a month. So being with Nick almost every night was more than I ever wanted."

"Sounds like you tried hard to make him happy."

"I did, but I was also happy. He's the one that took it away."

"I don't understand any of this," Warrick exclaimed and leaned back in the chair. He thought it would be a lot easier to help out his friends.

"I don't understand it either Warrick," Greg responded and looked back down at the evidence. He was done talking with Warrick for now.

***