Previous part of Finding Father.

***

"How was your day?" Mac asked when Adam let him into the apartment later on that night.

"Pretty uneventful except for the talk I had with Danny," Adam replied. He took the bag Mac held out and headed towards the sofa with it. "How was work?"

"I got my paperwork done," Mac smiled. He sat down next to Adam and opened his own bag. "I hope I got the sandwich right, it's been a while since I've been the one to call in an order for lunch at the lab."

Adam grinned and kissed Mac on the cheek. "I'm not picky," he said. "Anything is probably literally fine with me."

"So I could get you sardines and olives and you'd eat it?" Mac asked.

"Almost anything," Adam amended with a laugh. "Did Danny swing by and talk with you?"

"He mentioned that you are going to meet up with Terry this weekend," Mac said.

"Does it bother you that I want Danny there instead of you?" Adam asked.

Mac wrapped an arm around Adam and smiled when the younger man burrowed in against him. "No, Adam, it doesn't," he said. "You're trying to figure out what you want from our relationship and, if Terry can help you do that, then you need to talk with him. If having Danny there rather than me makes it easier to talk to him, then take Danny with you. I know you'll tell me what you want me know when you're comfortable telling me about it."

"How can you be so relaxed about this all, Mac?" Adam asked.

"The biggest foundation for a relationship is trust, Adam," Mac replied. "In your case, you have to trust that I'm not going to hurt you. I know how nervous I make you at work and I'm trying to show you that my focus at work is on the case and not making you fear me. For me, in this relationship, I have to trust you to talk to me, to tell me if you don't like something or if something is bothering you."

"You're just so intense at work," Adam said. "It's like you have lasers in your eyes or something, but I think it's more fear of authority figures than it is fear of you."

"Your dad?"

"Yeah. He just, he didn't even try to understand, Mac," Adam said. "My mom died when I was young and I barely remember her, but I think I'll always remember my father standing over me with his belt in his hands."

Mac kissed the top of Adam's head. "He won't be able to hurt you again, Adam," he said. "I'll make sure of that."

"My hero," Adam said. "Seriously, Mac, I want to talk with Terry and find out the answers to a couple of things that are bothering me, that I just don't really understand and think he'll be able to answer."

"Take Danny with you," Mac said. "Besides, I'd be really surprised if Terry's partner doesn't tag along and sit at the bar of wherever you guys end up. I can always sit and talk with him for a bit if you want me close by."

"That'd be nice," Adam said. "Does Terry's partner go everywhere with him?"

"No, but when it comes to going out to eat or for a night in a club, they're always together," Mac said. "His name is Hank and they've been together for about seven years, if memory serves. I actually met Hank first, when I was learning about the clubs and he helped me figure out a few things. I remember when he met Terry. They're good for each other."

Adam laughed. "Was it awkward for you and Danny to find out you knew the same people but for different reasons?"

"No, it was awkward running into Danny at a fetish bar," Mac said. "This was after the whole mess at the lab and we were trying to get back onto a more even relationship at work. I think finding out his boss had a life away from the lab helped a lot."

"Oh, Mac, tell me you weren't in leather," Adam said.

"I might have been," Mac said with a cough. "Don't drop your sandwich, Adam. We don't want to have to spend the evening cleaning mayonnaise off the couch."

"I might like to see you in leather some day," Adam managed, putting his sandwich back on the wrapper in his lap.

"We can talk about it," Mac said. "Go on, eat your dinner. It's getting warm."

***


"Mac, I'm curious about something," Adam said later that night when they were curled up watching a program about dinosaurs on the History Chanel.

"What's that?"

"I like it when you touch me, although I'll admit that the idea of you touching anywhere you haven't already makes me really nervous," Adam said. "I love the cuddling and the sense of together you project whenever we're alone together and I've been able to kiss you without butterflies, so why does the thought of touching you make my hands shake?"

"I don't know," Mac said. "It's possible that you're still going through so many changes to your routine and adjusting your comfort zone to allow for me to be a part of it. Here, let me have your hand for a second."

"What are you going to do?" Adam asked.

"Nothing you haven't already done before," Mac said softly. He took Adam's hand and rested it on his chest on top of the shirt he was wearing. "Now, how do you feel having your hand there?"

Adam laughed, sounding a little shaky. "Give me a second to catch my breath, Mac," he said. "I thought you were going to put my hand under your shirt or something like that. It's fine, although I don't really remember doing this."

"You do it when you're asleep," Mac said, pressing a kiss to the top of Adam's head. "You don't have to touch me until you're comfortable enough to do it on your own. In fact, I don't want you pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to try and do something you think I want you to do. If it takes a while for you to feel comfortable touching my skin, then it takes a while."

"I guess I just still have a little trouble believing that you're totally fine with going this slow," Adam said. "It seems like relationships always move so fast that there's almost no time between the meet and the fall into bed phases."

"These days that does seem to be true in a lot of cases, but that's what both partners are looking for, so they go into the experience with no expectation of longevity," Mac said. "If it makes you feel better, Adam, think of this as a courtship period. Do you know enough history to know what all that means?"

"I think so, yeah," Adam said. "Although, given how you were touching me last night, I think we've moved past most courtship boundaries already."

Mac chuckled. "It's a courtship adjusted for modern times," he said. "Although you will never convince me that every single courting happened the way the history books say they did. We're dealing with human behavior and humans are remarkably good at hiding what they don't want others to know."

"So you're saying that the kids, when they were left on their own in the sitting room, even with an adult close by, got all hot and heavy?" Adam asked.

"Very probably," Mac replied. "Think about how those dresses and petticoats could be lifted up easily to give the guy access."

"Now you're just being silly," Adam said. "I think people would notice that much fabric piled up, no matter how careful the kids were trying to be."

"Maybe a little, yeah," Mac said. "Have you relaxed again?"

"Yeah, thank you," Adam said. "I really don't notice when I go tense, you know."

"I know," Mac said. "I think you'll start realizing it when I keep going off on silly topics to help you relax again though."

Adam lifted his head from Mac's shoulder. "Does anyone else at work know you have this silly side, Mac?"

"Danny does," Mac said. "Having friends in common means there aren't a lot of secrets between us. I think Stella might suspect, but I've never really given her firm proof of anything."

"So does that mean you and Danny hang out away from the lab?"

"We do, on occasion, when we're both at the clubs or we've both had a really hard day and need to relax," Mac said. "Not every time, he has Flack to play sports with and other friends that he likes to see whenever he can, and I have my own forms of relaxing."

"This?"

"This, and also a club where I play with a band every Wednesday as long as I'm free," Mac said. "I'll have to take you along so you can hear us."

"How did I not know you play an instrument?" Adam asked.

"It's not something I talk about," Mac replied. "Although it is something I enjoy a lot."

Adam grinned. "I'll look forward to it," he said.

***

"Hey Adam, can I talk to you for a minute?" Stella asked, leaning into the lab Adam called home.

"Uh, yeah, give me one second to finish loading this last line of numbers," Adam replied, not looking up from the paper next to his computer.

Stella sat down on one of the rolling chairs that dotted the room and waited quietly. She knew that Adam was inputting serial numbers from a bank robbery that Mac and Danny were working together and the last thing she wanted to do was cause him to push the wrong button.

"Okay, that's it. What's up, Stella?"

"I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of time with Mac and just wanted to make sure that everything was okay."

"You do realize that Danny beat you to this one, right?" Adam asked with a grin.

"What?"

"Mac thought you'd pick it up first and talk with both of us, but Danny got it the second day," Adam said. "I'm fine, Stella. In fact, I think I'm better than I can ever really remember being before."

"So you two are dating?" she asked.

"Yeah, well, sort of. More courting than dating right now," Adam replied. "I just haven't had a lot of attention or physical affection in my life before so I'm really jumpy and nervous about everything so Mac's going glacially slow to make sure that I'm comfortable with everything."

Stella smiled. "You've got a keeper, you know," she said. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, but thank you," Adam said. "Danny's been hovering since he figured it out and, well, do you know his friend Terry?"

"Yeah, I met him a couple of years ago," Stella said. "He's a great guy, and so's his partner."

"I'm having dinner with Danny and Terry this weekend," Adam said.

"That's good, Adam. Terry will be able to help you out a lot, I think," she said. "I know about the relationship between him and Hank and if that's what you need, then that's what you need. It's no one's business but yours and your partner's. Anyone else wants to say anything different and I'll have something to say to them."

Adam ducked his head, but was smiling. "Thanks, Stella. That means a lot, you know, that you and Danny are both willing to stand up for me. I haven't had a lot of that in my life either."

"That's what friends are for, Adam," she said. "Okay, if you're comfortable with everything, I think it's time to let Mac know I've figured him out again."

"I think he's been looking forward to it," Adam said. He gathered up his papers. "I'm off to find Danny. Any hints on where I should look?"

"Yeah, actually, I saw him in A/V on my way here."

"Cool, thanks, Stella."

She watched him go with a fond smile. The change was obvious once she was looking for it, and was happy that Adam was taking a chance for a relationship that had the potential to be long-term, loving and supportive all at the same time.
***

"Mac."

"Stella."

"You're dating again," Stella said, letting the door shut behind her.

"I am," he said, leaning back in his desk chair. "I'm disappointed, Stella. I thought for sure you would have picked up on this at least a week ago."

She shook her head. "The night you went to find Adam at his apartment," she said. "I should have known that was atypical behavior for you, but I was just so happy that you were going to check on Adam that I didn't even think about it. He's happy."

"He is," Mac said with a fond smile. "I won't share details of my personal life, especially not without his permission, but he's sleeping through the night, Stella, and his nightmares are decreasing each night. I think he's starting to feel safe for the first time in a long time."

"You know he's still hurting though."

"I do. He's told me a little, but there's still a lot to work through. I think that he's do just fine."

"He told me he's meeting Terry this weekend."

Mac nodded. "There's questions about the kink that I can't answer properly because I've never been there," he said. "Do you think that it's a mistake for Adam to be in such a relationship?"

"Knowing you, Mac, you've told him that it's at his speed and whatever he wants," Stella said. "You never push. I remember Claire commenting to me one time that she thought she'd have to tie you down and propose you were taking so long."

"I wanted her to be sure of what she wanted," Mac said. "It's not easy to be a military wife."

"Mac."

"I know, Stel, I know," Mac said. "Thanks for letting me know you worked this out."

"Yeah, no problem," Stella said. "I can tell I'm going to have to start watching things a little more closely around here."

"Oh, that reminds me, Adam tells me that the lab techs call you and me the parents of the lab," Mac said.

Stella started laughing. "There's worse things to be called," she said. "I'd rather be mom to these guys than an enemy."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Mac said.

***


"Dinner at my place?" Mac asked as he and Adam were leaving the lab.

"Sure," Adam replied. "I'd like to start spending time at your place, if only to start trying to feel comfortable there as well. I know you say you're fine always being at my place, but honestly, I want to be able to give back a little for your patience."

"Adam, you don't have to do anything you don't want to," Mac said. "Remember that. Now I'm not saying no to spending time at my place, I'm saying that if you don't feel comfortable there, or you want to move to your place for the night, I want you to tell me about it."

"I can do that," Adam said. "Did Stella find you?"

Mac smiled. "Yeah, she did and the conversation went about like I was expecting it to," he said. "She's only going to warn me off if she thinks I'm hurting you and, honestly Adam, right now you look healthier than I've seen you look before and I think everyone else is realizing it."

"I haven't been as sleepy at work since you started staying the night," Adam said, flushing. He looked out at the traffic Mac was navigating through. "I didn't realize how badly I was sleeping until I started sleeping."

"It's only going to get better," Mac said. "Now, that said, I know that everyone at work is pretty much addicted to caffeine, so I'm not expecting you to stop drinking it. Just try and keep an eye on how much you are drinking and, if we're not busy or you don't need it, have juice or water instead."

Adam nodded. "That's reasonable," he said. "I think the lunches we've been packing have helped a lot too. I saw Danny eyeing my sandwich today."

"I just want to know that you're being as healthy as possible in our line of work," Mac said with a grin. "If Danny wants to join us in being healthy, he can, but he'll have to get his own food. Come on, let's go see what I've got to eat. It's possible we might have to order in, which defeats the whole purpose of what I've just been saying."

"Not if we got sandwiches or something," Adam said. "Mac, do you think I should make a list of questions to take with me this weekend for when I meet Terry? I don't want to forget anything."

"A list might not be a bad idea," Mac said. "Especially as I know you're going to be nervous talking with someone about what is considered a sexual kink. It's never easy to open up about your private life, and to do so with a stranger can be even harder."

"Yeah, I can't decide if having Danny there will make things better or worse," Adam admitted. He followed Mac into the apartment and kicked off his shoes before moving into the living area. "I mean, I know that he's probably seen and done worse himself, but it's still enough to make me feel embarrassed at just the thought."

"You might talk with Danny before you head out to meet up with Terry," Mac said. He kissed Adam on the head and went into the kitchen to see what he had to eat. "Let him know how you're feeling before the two of you are in a position where you might be too embarrassed to ask a question simply because Danny is there."

Adam followed Mac and sat down at the table. "That's not a bad idea," he said. "I'll see if I can catch him for lunch tomorrow if we're not too busy. It's like the city has been in a yo-yo state for the past three months."

"I blame the weather," Mac said.

"Is there any scientific data to back you up?" Adam asked.

"Get started on a salad for us, please?" Mac said. He put water on to boil and started another pot for cheese sauce. "When it's cold and rainy out, crime decreases for a short time as everyone tries to avoid the weather, but then spikes if the cold spell lasts for too long. Cabin fever sets in remarkably fast in this city."

"I guess I hadn't thought of it like that," Adam said. "What about when it's nice out?"

"That's when we get the outside crimes, body dumps and other exterior crimes," Mac said.

"Do you ever worry that you're so caught up in work that you're studying weather patterns to try and guess what sorts of crimes you'll be investigating any given day?" Adam asked.

"No, I gave up on life making too much sense a long time ago," Mac replied. "Extra carrots, if you don't mind them."

"Nah, that's fine," Adam grinned. He liked the easy flow they set into in the kitchen. It made him feel warm and safe at the same time.

***

"Mac, can I try touching you?" Adam asked after dinner. They were curled up on Mac's sofa and Adam was amazed at how comfortable and inviting a piece of furniture could be. He never wanted to move. If Mac's bed was half as nice, they would definitely be spending nights at Mac's apartment.

"Sure," Mac replied. "Where would you feel most comfortable with this? Here or in the bedroom?"

Adam bit his lip. "Can we start here and see how it goes?" he asked.

"Of course," Mac said. "What do you want me to do?"

"Stay still for me?"

"Let me know if you need anything, Adam," Mac said. "This is a big step and I don't want you pushing yourself too far with this."

"Okay," Adam said. He leaned in and kissed Mac softly. He really liked kissing Mac and it was something he felt comfortable doing, so that was where he started. The kiss stayed light, Mac letting Adam move at his own pace, and Adam slipped his fingers into Mac's hair in a light massage. Mac moaned softly and Adam pulled back. "You okay?"

Mac's eyes opened. "Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, but I really like head massages," he said.

"Yeah?" Adam asked softly. "Let me in behind you, Mac."

"You're going to have a puddle for a lover here pretty soon," Mac warned, moving forward. He didn't lean back until he felt Adam's hands on his shoulders pulling him back and then relaxed against the younger man. "I haven't had a decent massage in years. Not even from Claire, but she tried. Her hands just weren't strong enough."

"How long have you known you were bi?" Adam asked, starting at the top of Mac's head and slowly working his way down towards his neck.

"I figured it out in the Corps," Mac replied, sounding a little wry. "Having feelings for one of your fellow Marines wasn't a good thing at all and I learned very quickly to keep my mouth shut and my body under control. At least until I found out my feelings were returned. He was a marvel with his hands."

Adam couldn't help but grin. "Sounds like you had a good thing there. What happened?"

"Different postings," Mac said. "I went overseas, he went to D.C. and we lost touch. He's married with three kids now. Works at the Pentagon, actually. We've kept in touch."

"Did Claire know about him?"

"She did, actually," Mac said. He groaned when Adam's fingers got to the base of his skull and went limp. "She even became friends with his wife."

Adam laughed. "You are Claire were made for each other, Mac," he said. "I'm still sorry for what happened to her. I wish I could have met her."

"I wish you could have too," Mac said. "But at the same time, I'm very happy to have you as my lover, Adam. Don't think you've got ghosts hanging around that you have to compete against. I've made peace with my past and it doesn't haunt me. That's not to say it doesn't still give me nightmares, but they're rare."

"Wish mine were," Adam sighed. He slowly ran his fingers along Mac's neck and around to rest on his chest. "Why am I not as nervous about this now that I'm behind you?"

"Because you're in the position of control," Mac said. "Like this, even with my training, you have more power than I do."

Adam leaned around so he could see Mac's face. "I don't believe that for a minute. You're a big, scary Marine, Mac," he said. "I doubt there's any situation you get into that you couldn't eventually get out of."

"We need to get some documentaries so you don't have this movie and video game view of Marines," Mac said. He forced his body to stay still when Adam's hands drifted down a little, accidentally brushing over his nipples. "We're human, Adam. We just go through very intense training to make us stronger."

"I've seen Marines fight, Mac," Adam said. He couldn't bring himself to go past Mac's waist, so he moved his hands back up towards Mac's chest. "You guys fight dirty."

"Some do, yeah, but remember how much we value honor," Mac said. "How are you doing, Adam?"

"Okay. Good, actually," Adam said. "My hands aren't shaking at all."

"Don't push yourself," Mac said.

"I won't," Adam replied as he slipped his fingers back into Mac's hair. He grinned at the moan the action got and went back to his massage. He didn't know when he'd be braver about touching more of his lover, but finding out how to help Mac relax was a good way to start.

***

"You ready for this?" Danny asked at the end of the week. He and Adam were standing together outside a deli restaurant near the park.

Adam took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess," he replied. "Why here?"

"I figured we could get sandwiches or something to go and head out into the park," Danny said, leading the way inside. "That way you don't gotta feel trapped or worry about people hearing what you and Terry are talking about."

"That's a good idea, Danny, thanks," Adam said.

"There he is. Hey Terry, how you been?" Danny asked.

Terry was a little taller than Danny, but not as tall as Don Flack, with blond hair and blue eyes. He was wearing a Yankees t-shirt and jeans. "Hanging in there, same as always," he replied with a smile. "Never gonna get used to seeing you on the news, Messer. You ever not in trouble?"

"It's all good, perps just don't know how to stay still," Danny grinned. "Terry, this is Adam Ross, one of my co-workers. Adam, Terry."

"Nice to meet you," Adam said. "Thanks for meeting for dinner."

"Not a problem, if I can be a help to anyone, I'll find a way to do it," Terry said. "You thinking sandwiches and park, Messer?"

"Read my mind," Danny said. "Adam what'd you want?"

The trio got their dinners and headed over into the park. It was a nice evening and a lot of people were out, but they managed to find a spot under some trees where they could be alone and talk without worrying about people overhearing them. Danny leaned back against a tree and started to unwrap his sub. "Adam, you want to start with a question or how do you want to do this?"

"I had planned to make a list, but I got busy at work," Adam said. "I guess the main question I still have is how and why I need this. I mean, I'm an adult. I didn't have the best childhood growing up, but I've been managing on my own."

Terry nodded. "It's a huge piece of yourself to wrap your mind around," he said. "I think the key word there is managing. Do you feel better or worse since you and Mac got together?"

"Better," Adam said. "But I get the shakes when I even think about touching him beyond a hug or a kiss." He flushed. "I like those."

"Mom or Dad?" Terry asked.

"Dad."

"That makes it a bit harder to let yourself go with an older male lover, or so I've noticed in the clubs," Terry said. "A lot of people think they can handle being with someone who reminds them of their abuser, but then they realize they can't and sometimes it's almost too late to back out. I can't imagine Mac pushing you for anything, how slow is he moving?"

"I keep expecting the Titanic to show up in my living room," Adam said.

Danny looked puzzled for a minute and then laughed. "Mac as an ice berg, glacial, I get it," he said. "Nice turn of a phrase there, Adam."

"Thanks," Adam grinned. "So, Terry, you think I'll get over the shakes?"

"With time, I'd be surprised if you didn't," Terry said. "As to the rest of it, well, when I met Hank and we started to fall into the very mild daddy dynamic we have, I wasn't sure what was going on. I mean, how do you handle something like that? Hank and I talked about it and I realized that I did need someone to help me remember to eat and go to bed. He helped me realize that I wasn't broken because I needed that, and he was happy to take care of me. I know that we're on the far end of the spectrum because he don't punish me for anything unless I don't eat for a whole day. Best thing you can do is sit down with Mac and establish your guidelines and boundaries early on. They can always be adapted as your relationship grows."

Adam nodded. "We've talked about it a little because I don't want to be punished and he said he wouldn't for anything," he said. "I know he's worried about flashbacks, and I kinda am too. Mac said he was going to use what he called firm suggestions and that's how I should take them."

"Are you happy with that?" Terry asked.

Adam fell silent thinking about it. Danny and Terry talked about other things while they let Adam think things over. Both of them knew how hard it was to admit that you needed something outside of the norm for anything and didn't want to push Adam too hard, especially knowing what they did about his childhood. Adam finally sighed. "You know, I think I really am," he said.

***

Mac was waiting in Adam's living room reading a book when he heard the key turn in the lock. "How was your dinner?" he asked, not looking up.

"It was good," Adam replied. He sat down next to Mac and kissed his cheek. "I'm not sure if I've finished blushing yet or not, but it was good."

"You're not red," Mac said. He marked his place and gave his lover his full attention. "Is there anything we need to talk about immediately?"

"Terry said it would be a good idea for us to go through and work out our guidelines and boundaries together," Adam said. "I told him about the firm suggestions you've been using and how happy I am with that, and he said that is a good general starting place, but we need to make sure we're not going to end up miscommunicating about something later on because we didn't talk now."

Mac nodded. "That makes good sense," he said. "I know you like the firm suggestions and I'm never going to punish you for anything, Adam. There's too much of a risk there. I don't want to cause a flashback to your childhood."

Adam cuddled up to Mac's side. "I don't want you to either," he said. "It would take a lot of yelling on your part to trigger something, but I think if we put physical punishment into the mix, you could trigger something easily. My dad wasn't exactly shy about smacking me around."

"I will never hit you, Adam," Mac said. "Never. When we're away from the lab just having our personal time I need you to remember that you can question me, you can not do something I've asked you to do, and be your own person. I'll keep up with the firm suggestions, but don't ever feel like you have to do something for me."

"I'm not worried about you hurting me physically," Adam said. "I know all couples have fights, but as long as you come back, that's all I care about. I don't know when I'll be ready to be more physical with you though. I still get the shakes pretty bad when I think about it."

Mac kissed the top of Adam's head. "You'll get there, Adam. You haven't had much physical affection in your life and that's going to play into a lot of things now. I think as you get used to having me touch you, even just hugs or holding you at night when you're asleep, you'll start to feel more comfortable with the physical side of the relationship. We'll take as long as you want. No pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone just because you think that I want something."

"I'll do my best," Adam said. "Mac, I do like it when you leave me a list of things to do. I guess I don't always notice when I need to clean or do laundry."

"I can keep doing that for you," Mac said. "We can shop for groceries together so we don't have to worry about food. What else do you want me to do for you?"

"You know I like when you tell me to shower and go to bed, especially if I know you're going to be there waiting for me," Adam said. "Is there much else we have to go through and define? It seems like we're both on the same page for pretty much all of this."

"I think that, for our relationship now, this is all we really need to talk about," Mac said. "When we add sex into it we'll have to talk about new boundaries and comfort zones and exactly what you want there. The only thing I'm holding firm on is that I will not hurt you physically."

Adam nodded. "I don't think I'd want to be hurt during sex," he said. "I had so much pain growing up that I'd really like to not have to worry about it now."

"You don't," Mac said softly. "We're moving at your speed, Adam. You make the calls and I'm here to support you through them."

"Okay, I can do that," Adam said.

***

A part of Adam was expecting Mac to get tired of the slow pace they were moving at in their relationship. He knew that it had to be hard on the older man, had felt the erections pushing into his hip in the mornings, but he still felt so shaky at the idea of touching Mac that he didn't know how they were ever going to move forward. He was always amazed that the care and love that Mac lavished on him daily; from the small notes left on the kitchen counter, to the meals they cooked together, to holding him every night while they were asleep. Adam's nightmares were slowly decreasing and he was sleeping through the night more constantly than he ever had in his life.

He was just working up the nerve to ask if they could move onto the next level as they were walking out of the lab at the end of their shift, and Adam almost ran into his father.

"I finally found you, you ungrateful brat."

Mac didn't even hesitate, he moved Adam behind him and drew himself up to his full height. "Mr. Ross, you will show respect when you are speaking to a member of the police crime lab," he said, his tone cold.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Detective Mac Taylor. I'm Adam's supervisor and we're on our way to a crime scene, so if you'll excuse us, we need to leave," Mac said. "Adam, go get your kit and meet me in the car. I'll be right there."

"Yes, Sir," Adam said, hurrying off.

Mac blocked Adam's father from following. "Now you listen to me. I know what you did to Adam when he was growing up and it ends now," he said. "My team is my responsibility and I will step up for each and every one of them. Adam is an adult, he doesn't have to do a damn thing you say, so you're going to turn around and you're going to leave."

"Got a problem here, Mac?" Flack asked, appearing out of the crowd. "Me and the boys could help out."

"Adam's father is here, Flack," Mac replied, not looking back. "I think maybe he made a wrong turn somewhere."

Flack grinned. "No problem, I got it handled," he said. "You go on to your crime scene, let me take care of this for you."

"Thanks, Flack, I owe you one," Mac said. He leveled a look at Adam's father and left, heading towards the garage, where he hoped Adam would be waiting for him. "Adam?"

There was no answer. Mac sighed. His younger lover had been doing so well, opening up and smiling more and Mac hated that would change. He walked over to the truck he normally drove and opened the passenger door. Adam was curled up on the floor. "Hey there."

"Hey."

"So, Flack is handling things out there for us," Mac said. "Why don't I check the truck out and we drive home tonight? You can stay down here and no one will see you."

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Lock the door, I'll get the key to get back in," Mac said. "I'll be right back." He shut the door again, waited until he heard the lock engage and went over to the guard booth. "Fred, I'm going to sign my usual truck out tonight. Something came up."

The officer handed over a clipboard with a nod. "Seems like it's gonna be one of those nights, Mac," he said. "Full moon ain't until next week."

"Maybe people are just being stupid," Mac said. "Anyone comes in here asking about me or my people, send them inside would you? Flack's taking care of a stalker out there and I don't want to risk anyone following me."

"Anyone stupid enough to mess with ours deserves what they get," Fred said. He took the clipboard back and handed over the keys. "No one'll hear nothing from me, Mac. You take care of Adam. He looked pretty shook up."

"He was," Mac said. "See you tomorrow."

"Have a good night."

Mac went back to the truck, unlocked the driver's side and climbed in. "Ready to do this?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, stay down just in case," Mac said. "Flack should have your father inside, but I don't want to take any chances he could follow us." He pulled out of the garage and into traffic slowly, the usual tangle of vehicles around the station more of a pain than usual that night. He didn't look around until he was a few blocks away and then relaxed. "We're safe."

Adam looked up. "Can we go to your place, Mac?" he asked softly. "I don't want him to know where I live."

"Sure," Mac said. "My building probably has better security too. He won't be able to get inside without permission from the guard at the desk, and I'll make sure he doesn't have that."

"We're going to have to talk, aren't we?"

"Not if you don't want to," Mac said. "We can just watch dinner and go to bed if you want."

"Don't really want to put this off."

"It's up to you," Mac said. "But we'll talk after we eat. You need to have some food and drink something first."

Adam nodded with a sigh. "I'll try."

***


"It was going out in the field that did it."

"What do you mean, Adam?" Mac asked. He'd ordered soup and sandwiches from a local deli and gone down to collect them. He and Adam were secure in his apartment and they both had the next day off, so they would be able to stay in and talk.

"When I left home, I really left," Adam replied. "I didn't take anything other than two changes of clothes and all the money I'd been saving up. I didn't leave a clue to where I was going to college and my school was great. Then I came here and I was in the lab and I could still hide. I guess I thought I was safe enough to go out into the field, to risk having my name show up in the news."

Mac kissed Adam's temple. "Do you want to save the other half of your sandwich for later, Adam?" he asked.

"Could I?"

"Of course, but finish your milk," Mac said. He took their plates back into the kitchen. "Adam, your father is an abuser and, like all abusers, he has to be in control. When you left for school like you did, you took that control away from him. You showed that you are your own person and that you don't have to be beaten down every day to live. He believes that he owns you, and that's something we're going to show show him he's wrong about."

"I don't understand how people can live in abusive relationships," Adam said. He walked into the kitchen and rinsed out his milk glass. "I mean, I understand the dynamics behind their thinking, but I don't know how they can actually do it. I was scared to death my father was going to kill me before I was old enough to run."

"You got lucky, Adam, and you survived," Mac said. He leaned against the counter and held his arms open in invitation. "You know as well as I do that not everyone in those situations does."

Adam cuddled up against his lover and sighed when Mac's arms pulled him in for a tight hug. "I didn't think I was missing anything in my life, but I was," he said softly. "Mac, I don't want this to be a set-back in our relationship. I was going to ask you if you would touch me again tonight. I wanted to try and move onto the next level together."

"Now?" Mac asked.

"Now I just want to hide in the closet, no matter how much I don't want seeing him to change things," Adam admitted.

Mac kissed his temple again softly. "Well, no hiding in closets, but you can sleep on the side closer to the window if you want to," he said. "I'll stay closer to the door if it makes you feel more secure."

"Being here actually makes me feel safe," Adam said. "Mac, what's going to happen tomorrow?"

"We stay in and read," Mac said. "You've got enough clothes here to last for a couple of days. There's food in the fridge and we can just enjoy being with each other for a day. I talked with Stella and she knows not to call me in unless there's a serial homicide. Flack's taking care of your father and he'll be gone by the time we go back to work."

"Are you sure?" Adam asked.

"I am, but you can stay in the lab for a while if you want to," Mac said.

"I would, actually," Adam said. "I know he wouldn't be able to get to me there, and I'm not so sure about being in the field."

"It's easy enough and everyone understands, Adam," Mac said. He kissed Adam's temple again, the only part of his lover he could reach. "No one at the lab or the department will think less of you for this. If they do, they'll have to take it up with me."

Adam managed a grin. "My Marine," he said.

***

Next part of Finding Father.