Title: And the Wall Fell Down Flat
Author: podga
Pairing: Gil Grissom/Nick Stokes
Warning: PG
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me and I don't make money off of them.
Summary: Brass butts in...
A sequel to "To Have and Have Not" (I hope those that requested one like this!)

Grissom is in a foul mood and he's been that way for the last few days. Since he met Nick at the movies, if he wants to be precise. He knows he shouldn't bring his mood to work with him, but he can't find it in himself to care that much. In a way, he enjoys the extra space he's being given; lab results appear on his desk without his having to go in search of them, nobody even thinks of arguing with the assignments he hands out and everybody is doing their best work in order not to add to his displeasure. He wallows in his mood and as far as he's concerned, they can all just get used to it.

So his first reaction when Brass walks into his office uninvited is to glare at him. He's mildly disappointed when Brass doesn't seem affected and simply sits down.

"Something I can do for you?" he finally asks as Brass says nothing, just looks at him placidly.

"I'm actually wondering if there's something we all can do for you" Brass answers. "You might not be aware of this, but you've been casting a long and dark shadow around this place."

Grissom leans back in his chair, putting some extra distance between Brass and himself.

"I'm aware of it" he says shortly, hoping that his tone will make it perfectly clear that he intends to neither explain nor apologize.

Brass doesn't take the hint, merely leans slightly forward, elbows on his knees, closing the distance between them again.

"And...?"

Grissom has seen Brass questioning suspects too many times to fall for his tricks. "And nothing. Since you're here, any news on the Joshua case?"

Brass nods. "Joshua finally confessed. Apparently the missus knew about his embezzling funds and she was blackmailing him, threatening to report him if he didn't agree to an extremely substantial alimony. The way Joshua tells it, he stabbed her because he couldn't afford the alimony she wanted, he'd already spent the money. Warrick and Nick are just tying up some loose ends."

"Good." Grissom picks up a file off his desk and starts flipping through it. When Brass fails to react to this obvious dismissal signal, Grissom sighs and puts the file down again. Brass isn't one to miss his cue.

"Gil, we both know that your team doesn't expect you to pamper them. But your approval means a lot to all of them, even to Catherine. And being able to discuss cases with you, to ask you questions and talk through evidence with you makes them better at what they do. They know it and they need it. So what's going on?"

"I've never refused my help" Grissom defends himself, though he knows that's not strictly true. He hasn't refused it, but he's made damn sure they think twice before asking for it.

Brass isn't fooled. "Look, we're friends. If it will help to discuss things, you know where to find me. In the meantime, just think about what I've told you. You might not like it, but your behavior is affecting your people and that's not good for anyone."

His message delivered, Brass gets up. Before he walks through the door, he looks back at Grissom again. "Gil, you know I don't like to butt in and maybe I'm way off base here, but I just want you to think of one more thing." He pauses, as if not knowing quite how to continue, then seems inspired. "It's like a poker game. You don't know the outcome, you can't control everything, you can't be absolutely sure of the cards the others are holding or what they're going to do, but you still play, right? You still play, even though you might lose your shirt. And you enjoy it."

Once Brass is gone, Grissom picks up the file once again and starts reading it, but after a while he realizes that although he's picking up the individual words, his brain isn't stringing them into coherent sentences. He thinks briefly about how to re-establish relations with his team, but that's just evasion. He finally cautiously opens the door to the thoughts he's been diligently blocking for weeks. Of Nick. Of Nick and him.

People might think he's not particularly sensitive to others' feelings and they're probably right. But Grissom isn't oblivious either and he's been around a while. Even though Nick is trying hard not to broadcast it, Grissom understands that Nick is... Well, for want of a better word, Nick is infatuated with him.

There was a time when Grissom would have been very pleased with this, not least because he is also attracted to Nick. He wouldn't have cared if it was serious or not, if it might last or not, he would have just jumped onboard and enjoyed the ride. Professionally it might have been problematic, but it wouldn't necessarily have stopped him. In a way, unrequited attraction was a lot more likely to cloud his judgment about Nick's job performance than an affair which might flare briefly but would most probably burn out in a friendly way.

When did he change? When did being alone and independent become his pursuit, his badge of honor? He knows who he is and he's not unhappy with himself for the most part, so when did he start worrying about exposing himself? When did he begin watching poker games on TV instead of actually playing poker?

Grissom flings the file he's still holding on the desk in disgust. He hears Nick's laughter in the hallway and looks up to see Nick and Warrick half shoving each other past his doorway. He sees Nick quickly glance at him, his eyes nervous, then both he and Warrick are gone. Grissom thinks of all the other times he's seen Nick look at him like that, all the opportunities he's missed, whether consciously or inadvertently. When the hell did he start being afraid of what he really wants?

Grissom is suddenly filled with urgency and his adrenaline spikes, making him feel slightly queasy. No more, he thinks. No more. There's nothing in his life that is so precious, that needs to be so closely guarded against invasion. He gets up and hurries out of his office.

Nick and Warrick are standing farther down the hallway, still in animated discussion. Grissom looks at them and for a moment he hesitates, his doubts screaming at him to turn around, to get back in his office. Then his adrenaline surges even higher and he knows he's not going to do that today. Today Grissom is going to walk forward and he's going to somehow let Nick know that despite his doubts, his misgivings (his fear?) he's ready to take that first step. He doesn't know if it will be a short straight path or a long winding road, but he's finally ready.

As he approaches them, Warrick turns towards him.

"Hey Grissom, we're about to punch out and go for breakfast. Want to join us?"

Grissom thinks gratefully that Warrick is probably the only member of his team who would issue an invitation so naturally, as if Grissom had been behaving normally all this time.

And he smiles first at Warrick and then at Nick and looking at Nick says simply "Yes, I do." And when he sees Nick's answering smile reach his eyes, he knows that Nick has understood. Maybe not everything, but enough.