Title: Free Yourself
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

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Greg opened one to peer out of the window by his bed, trying not to move a muscle. He didn't want to wake Ryan; his boyfriend had been having trouble sleeping lately, and the last thing he needed was someone tossing and turning beside him.

Wolfie also had a tendency to bounce up onto the bed once he realized that one or both of them were awake, demanding to be taken for his morning walk. The puppy was asleep in his basket near the bedroom door, and Greg didn't want to wake him up, either.

Last night had been strange for him; he was usually the one who woke up with nightmares, but lately, Ryan's past had been coming back to haunt him more than it had since he had moved in with Greg. He had been waking up almost every night.

It was strange how that usually seemed to happen on nights when they weren't working, and they could sleep at night like normal people did. Somehow, they would always fall into bed and sleep soundly on the mornings when they both came home from working a long shift.

But now, things seemed to have changed. Greg had no idea why they were both dealing with memories from their pasts, but those events were crowding into their minds, and he wanted to get rid of them .He wanted those memories to be dealt with and retreat forever.

They might not ever be able to get rid of the nightmares completely; he didn't expect that. But he did want them to both be able to sleep soundly, and if things went on as they were now, then that wasn't going to happen for a good long time.

They were supposed to have the next couple of days off, unless they were called in, and Greg sincerely hoped that they would. They could both use the time off; they'd been pulling doubles until last night, and he knew that Ryan was just as exhausted as he was.

At least they did have some time here and there to come home and take Wolfie for quick walks, feed him, and make sure that the puppy wasn't too lonely. Still, he'd appreciate having more time off -- if only the citizens of Las Vegas, as well as the tourists, would stop killing each other!

That wasn't going to happen any time soon, Greg thought with a wry smile. Still, it would be nice to have a little bit of a reprieve from working constantly. He and Ryan had some things that they needed to talk about, things that could be very important to their future.

For one, he was worried about his boyfriend's admitted gambling problem. This wasn't exactly a place for Ryan to be with that sort of addiction in his past; yes, he was the kind of man who could resist temptation, but what if it became too much for him to deal with?

Greg wanted with all of his heart to believe that if Ryan's resolve not to gamble began to slip, his lover would come to him. He knew that if Ryan did tell him that he needed help, he would do anything in his power -- and beyond it, if he could -- to help the man he loved.

But what if Ryan didn't feel that he could admit that his past problem had caught up with him and taken him over? Greg already knew that Ryan was a proud man; he had a hard time admitting his weaknesses, and Greg couldn't blame him for that.

His own pride was part of what had kept him from talking about the ordeal he'd suffered through so long ago. He hadn't been able to bring himself to tell anyone that he'd been raped, even years after the fact. By the time he'd met Ryan, it seemed far too late to tell anyone.

Ryan had a right to know everything about him; the man was his boyfriend, his lover, the center of his life. If he hadn't told Ryan, then he would have felt guilty about holding a part of himself back -- and he would also have jeopardized their relationship.

No, he'd had to tell Ryan. It wouldn't have been right for him not to. And he was glad that Ryan had told him about everything that he'd been through, as well. There were no secrets between them; their lives were open books to each other, as they should be.

Getting Ryan to talk to anyone else about his problems wouldn't be easy, though. Greg sighed, rubbing a hand over his face and wondering just how he was going to be able to get his boyfriend to go to a shrink and open up about his past.

It wasn't just the torture that Ryan had endured from the Russian mob, or the rape that he'd been through. It was also the gambling -- and that was what worried Greg more than anything else. He'd seen what kind of effect that could have on people who were caught in its talons.

He could only do so much to keep Ryan away the casinos. If his boyfriend really wanted to be there, then he would find a way to get to those places, no matter what Greg did or said. He was a strong-willed man, and he would find a way to do what he wanted to do.

Ryan had been able to keep himself away from temptation thus far -- but what would happen once they had a case that took them into the casinos? It was going to happen at some point; there was no way that they could avoid going there in the course of doing their jobs.

And that was when temptation would reach out its claws for Ryan. There was only so much that Greg could do to keep it away; once that temptation had wrapped itself around his lover, he knew that it would be almost impossible for Ryan to free himself and walk away from it.

Maybe it hadn't been the best idea in the world for Ryan to come here. His boyfriend had transferred to the Vegas crime lab because it was one of the busiest and most prestigious labs in the country, but maybe there had been something else that had brought him here, too.

Greg shook his head, as though he was chasing that thought away and pushing it out of his mind. No. Ryan hadn't come here because of the casinos. His gambling problem was in the past; he'd kept himself out of trouble, and he wasn't going to fall into that trap again.

Ryan was done with gambling. He hadn't talked to Greg much about the problem he'd had, but he he had said emphatically that he knew it wasn't something he should do, and that he was determined not to give in to the temptation that the casinos presented.

But they hadn't really talked about it seriously, had they? a voice in the back of his head insisted. He and Ryan needed to have a conversation, a serious one, and he needed to extract some promises from Ryan. He knew that once they were given, his lover wouldn't go back on his word.

He didn't want Ryan to fall into that trap again and have to struggle to free himself from it. He wanted to believe that the problem had been conquered, that even the urge to gamble was behind Ryan and that he wouldn't be affected by it in any way.

That wasn't possible, Greg told himself with an inward sigh. Ryan would always feel the temptation, just like a recovering alcoholic would always feel the temptation to take another drnk. He might not have dealt with those problems himself, but he was all too familiar with them.

Really, all that he could do was to be as supportive of Ryan as he could, and try to keep him away from temptation. It was hard enough to do that when there was someone by your side to help you free yourself from it; he could only imagine what it was like to try to conquer those demons alone.

Well, Ryan wasn't going to be alone in his efforts, Greg told himself firmly. He would have someone who loved him right there beside him, helping him along every step of the way, doing everything they could to help him and encourage him to do the right thing.

As though he could somehow sense Greg's unease, Wolfie raised his head, stretching and yawning before he got out of his basket and shuffled over to the bed to press his cold nose into the young man's hand, whining as he did so and looking hopefully towards the door.

Greg couldn't help laughing at that, knowing that the sound might wake Ryan, but feeling that they should get up and start their day. Taking the puppy for a walk around the block together was as good a way as any for their weekend to begin.

He could feel Ryan stirring behind him in their bed; then those strong arms were wrapping around his waist, and he was pulled back against the other man's body, Ryan nuzzling his neck and sending chills down his spine with a single touch.

He'd talk to Ryan about the gambling issue this weekend. Somehow, it was all going to work out. He turned over to greet his boyfriend with a sleepy smile, wrapping his arms around Ryan's neck and pulling him down for a good morning kiss.

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