Title: Green Roses...
Author: Dee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 12345 Pairing: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom, Nick Stokes and the usual crew...
Warnings: Very AU and OOC
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine; not now, not ever.
Unbeta-ed: All mistakes will be mine.
A/N 1: This fic was started years ago and only recently finished...

***

Prologue

Gil was furious; he was as angry as he could ever remember being.  He was so angry his chest was constricted, and he couldn't take a deep enough breath to relax his chest muscles.

 

He sat in his office, leaning on his desk.  His hands were clasped together, his fingers interlinked, but they were held so tightly entwined that his knuckles were white; his fingers ached and the backs of his hands hurt where the fingers dug into the flesh.

 

He sat back in his chair and did breathe a deep breath and his restricted chest heaved a breath of relief and he wriggled his fingers to get the circulation going again.  But his fury didn't diminish; his fury did not diminish at all.

 

If he knew who was doing this, if he could get his hands of the person he knew he would attack them.  Physically attack the person...maybe even persons...plural.  It could be a prank involving more than one person.  He seethed with anger.

 

He'd never resorted to physical violence in his life.  He'd had to defend himself a couple of times but they were just mild skirmishes...and many years ago.  No, this desire of his now was to attack, to do harm and to hurt...to neutralise the threat.  That's what he felt, that his fury could only be relieved by a release of physical violence against this unknown person.  He really didn't think it was more than just one person...easier to keep a secret when you were by yourself.  Yes, he thought; one person and very likely...one man.

 

The phone on his desk rang and broke his thoughts of violence and he lifted the receiver and snapped his name at the innocent caller.  It was work.  He had to focus.  He'd plan his strategy and get his revenge, that's what he'd do; although he had one major drawback...he had no idea who this, this person was...despite trying to find out there was just so little to go on...legally.  Four weeks and three days and he was furious; he was as angry as he could ever remember being.

 

Part One

 

It had started four weeks and three days ago, it was a Monday evening and Gil and Nick had arrived at work together, as they did most nights.  But this night was different.  Waiting, innocently, on the table in the briefing room was a single stemmed, blood red rose.  A note proclaimed it was for 'Nick Stokes' and that was it; there was no other information or clue about who had sent this...flower.  Token.  Love token.

 

Catherine was misty eyed.  "Oh Gil, that's so romantic."  But then she caught Gil's thunderous look.  "Oh, right...not you then?"

 

Nick had looked as surprised as anyone at Gil's look; but Nick knew that as much as Gil loved him and cared for him, he just didn't do romantic.  He didn't and he hadn't and he (probably) never would.

 

"Who's it from?"  Gil addressed his terse comment to Nick.

 

"It doesn't say."

 

"Well, who do you think sent it?"

 

"No idea."

 

"You must have some."

 

"No..."

 

"...as sweet as this touching little domestic scene is do you think we could have our assignments and get out of here?"  Sara didn't like being reminded of Gil and Nick's personal status.  Mostly she ignored it and they didn't flaunt it and she could live with that...but this confirmation of their togetherness made her want to hurl.

 

"Good idea."  Catherine's mild agreement was actually a ruse on her part.  She sensed a domestic dispute looming and would love to see it unfold but didn't want to be seen to be too eager.  She always thought Gil and Nick lived their lives a little too cosily, a little too compartmentalised.  

 

Greg and Warrick couldn't really be bothered with it.  In truth both men tried to distance themselves from the gay relationship and just embrace the friendship they had with the men.  Especially with Nick.  But both men knew from past experience that Nick always attracted a lot of followers, women especially, but there were men, too.

 

It was no surprise to anyone that Gil paired himself with Nick.  To a man they were grateful, (except Nick, who wasn't) as an irritated Grissom was not conducive to a happy working atmosphere.  Nick was resigned to that fact and knew he faced some tough questioning.  There was nothing he could do about it since he was the only one who knew just how possessive Gil could be. 

 

Nick had found out quite early on in their relationship that he was a jealous man.  Not of Nick, exactly, but of anything that challenged his right to Nick.  He had exclusive ownership and would guard his property with all guns blazing.

 

Thinking about it, Nick knew that that analogy was wrong.  They had an equal partnership, and he loved that Gil took on the role of his carer and fierce protector.  It seemed so right.  Nick was relaxed and easy going; he loved being in the relationship with Gil and it was only occasionally that something would cause Gil to go into full alert...if he saw his position threatened in some manner or other.  Mostly if they were in a gay situation, but an over attentive woman could also arouse his wrath.  Nick smiled to himself as he thought about Gil.  He loved the man, there was absolutely no doubt about that and was loved in return, but this rose would send him crazy.  Of that there was absolutely no doubt.

 

When they were alone he was questioned closely.

 

"Have you no idea who might have sent it?"

 

"None.  No one has been particularly flirty with me for ages.  That's sad isn't it?"

 

"No, it's not sad at all.  It's how it should be.  You're mine."  Gil's voice did soften as he claimed his lover as his own.

 

"I know...but you know a little bit of flirting does massage the old ego.  Proves I've still got the pulling power, man."

 

"Pulling?  Are you seriously telling me that you flirt with the intention of pulling?"

 

"Noooo, not me flirting, why would I flirt when I've got you...no, I mean, you know, women and men flirting with me."

 

"You actively encourage it?"

 

"I do not, look, don't get all macho, I don't flirt, unless you count me trying to get you to buy me a gift.  But people flirt with me, and I treat it like...harmless fun, which is what it is."

 

"If you flirt back like you flirt with me, I'm having you fitted with a chastity belt."  At last Gil was regaining his sense of humour.

 

"And keep the golden key on a golden chain around your neck?"  Nick employed a little technique he had of looking at Gil through his eyelashes to go with his remark which was suggestively whispered at Gil.

 

"We have work to do, CSI Stokes, and neither of us will be comfortable with erections we can do nothing about.  Now, find the address and let's go."

 

"Yes. Sir.  Hold the thought though."

 

"Nicholas.  Go.  Now."

 

They did their work and the rose was forgotten; at least temporarily.

 

When they arrived back at the lab, they separated to pursue the evidence they'd collected.  A couple of hours later Gil found Nick having a coffee in the break room.

 

"I checked with reception and that rose was delivered about an hour before shift with an instruction to leave it for you in the briefing room.  What does that tell us?"

 

"That you're neurotic?"

 

"Nick, this is important, I would like to know who's trying it on with you."

 

"'Trying it on'?  Oh, come on, Gil, I got sent a red rose, it could be absolutely anyone.  Well, that's not strictly true, is it?"

 

"What do you mean by that?"  Gil jumped straight into defensive mode; he knew very well that Nick meant him.

 

"I mean we can rule you out, as if you didn't know."  Nick knew that Gil knew.

 

"You knew what you were getting into."  And with that petulant remark Gil flounced out.  .

 

Nick grinned to himself since he was sure that there wasn't another person in the entire universe who knew that Gil could do petulant and could actually flounce.  But he could and he did, if he was, one, caught out and two, had no excuse.  And that had been a perfect example; he would never buy Nick a rose, and deep down, perhaps, he thought that just once, he should.  Guilt.  Nick smiled to himself; he loved Gil Grissom for all his foibles.  Foibles?  Oh my god, living with Gil had finally infiltrated his vocabulary.

 

Gil had recovered by the time they got home and proceeded to apologise to Nick by giving him his special.  A blow job.  He was very good at them, able to deep throat and he had a snake tongue, it was exceedingly dextrous.  That was the exact word.  Dextrous.

 

They were a happy couple as they entered the briefing room the next shift, for about five seconds.

***

Part Two

 

"What the fu...."  Gil just managed to stop the expletive spewing out.  He did not swear at work...in front of his team, at least.

 

"Nick would appear to be the object of someone's desire."  Catherine was going to love this.

 

"One of you guys has done this, haven't you?"  Nick asked this as he picked up the two single stemmed, blood red roses.

 

"As a matter of fact, we haven't.  We were just discussing that, and none of us want to upset Gil.  Not in our interests, is it?"  Catherine gave a fairly convincing argument.

 

"If I find that one of you here has been sending them you know I will not be sympathetic to such childish behaviour."  If anyone in the room had sent the roses they would have been certain to stop when confronted with Gil's threat; and they were all quite sure...it was a threat.

 

"Gil, for God's sake, it's no big deal, let it go and calm down."

 

Now this was a first and they all knew it.  The rest of the shift rarely, if ever, heard Nick refer to Gil as Gil.  In their presence he would use, Gris.  They had never heard him call Gil on something, and certainly had never heard him use an irritated tone with him.  But to their collective and utter astonishment, Gil appeared to calm down immediately and he said no more; he gave out the assignments in the quiet of the room.  All of them were suffering from some degree of shock.

 

Catherine was thinking that maybe the balance of the relationship was not as straightforward as she'd imagined.  She's always assumed Gil was very much the dominant partner.

 

Sara was thinking that Gil would be mortally embarrassed by Nick's outburst; it could signal the end of them as a couple and she might stand a chance after all.

 

Warrick was thinking, 'way to go' Nick, show them you're not the underdog they think you are.

 

Greg was thinking that maybe he should have his hair cut, in case he needed to go for a job interview.  He hadn't sent the roses, but if Grissom even thought he had, he'd be toast.

 

Gil was thinking that if he ever discovered who sent the roses he'd kill him...or her...and no one would find the body.  Nick was his and his alone and, God, he's beautiful when he's angry.

 

Nick was thinking if Gil wasn't careful he'd be labelled a jealous guy and paranoid and he's so transparent in his love for me.  I love him.

 

It was no surprise that Gil paired himself with Nick, again.  There was some palpable relief in the air.

 

In the truck the first thing Nick did was apologise.  "I'm sorry for calling you Gil and being mean."

 

"It's my name; you had every right to call me on my behaviour, I was over the top.  Make up sex again?"

 

"Yeah."  Nick grinned.

 

"It is very childish though, isn't it?  If you don't know who it is how can you respond anyway..."  But seeing Nick's look at him, Gil acquiesced.  "...I know, I know, I should leave it...but it's really infuriating, thinking someone is chasing you."

 

"There's no one chasing me...it's probably a prank.  It's probably someone at the lab, or the PD, trying to rile you."

 

"It's working."

 

"Then you need to calm down and treat it as a joke.  They're nice flowers, that's all there is to it."

 

"Okay.  Okay.  You really have no idea?"

 

"Really."

 

"Work then."

 

"Work then and then make up sex."

 

"Later."

 

"Later."

 

So the next night when three roses showed up Gil remained outwardly calm.  He wouldn't let anyone see how riled he was beneath his calm exterior. His poker skills came in very useful.  He didn't want to provide fodder for someone that may be watching his reactions.

 

The next night they were there again – four roses.  Single stemmed and blood red; the only note was one with 'Nick Stokes', written on it.

 

But this time Gil pulled the surveillance tapes from reception to see who'd delivered the roses.  They were from a local florist, 'Daisy Chain'.  At his break time he checked their website and after shift, excused himself from going home with Nick saying he had some business in town and he would catch a cab home.  Nick took some persuading and he guessed that Gil was trying to find out more about the roses.  What the hell, he thought...let him waste his time and he went off to the gym instead of going home. 

 

Gil went to the shop.  The young man was of little help and Gil suspected he knew a lot more than he was letting on, but he wasn't going to tell Gil a thing and he could hardly pull his LVPD credentials over the delivery of some roses to his lover.  But he was suspicious.  But then he was suspicious of everyone at the moment.  He knew he was being paranoid and that he should just let it run its course...but it was his Nick and someone was showing him up for being an inconsiderate partner.  He didn't send roses.

 

All Gil had discovered was that someone placed the order and paid in cash.  That was it, nothing more was forthcoming.  When Gil had asked if it was a man or a woman, young or old, the guy had said it was none of Gil's business and he'd clammed up, totally.  And that was that.  Gil was no further forward. 

 

Gil took the unusual step of going to a bar for a stiff drink before going home.  He even thought he should buy Nick a small gift, just to show he could compete with a phantom suitor.  But he dismissed the idea as ludicrous.  Nick knew what he was like and there was no need to compete.  He'd fought and won the battle years ago.  He was quite sure of Nick's devotion.  He had no problems with Nick.  None at all.

 

But by the time seven roses had been left for Nick, Gil's patience was being sorely tested and his nerves were jangling so much he thought he could hear them.  He consulted Jim Brass about raiding the shop and trying to find out who'd ordered the roses.  Jim's incredulous look had put paid to that.  Jim had also warned him about any harassment he might have planned for the 'Daisy Chain'.  Jealous boyfriend was not a good defence. 

 

The next night there was nothing and Gil and the rest of the shift sighed a huge sigh of relief.  Nick was somewhat saddened, he thought the roses were very beautiful and he liked having them waiting for him.  He thought better than to tell Gil about that.

 

The next night was Gil's night off, and a yellow rose was delivered.  Without Gil, the rest of the shift were merciless with their ribbing of the Texan and his yellow rose.  But, as Nick pointed out it was a yellow rose that actually signified 'love', not the red rose.  Sara wanted to know if Gris knew that.  That sobered everyone up.

 

And the next night there were two yellow roses...and so it went on.  The roses were delivered even when Nick wasn't at work and that lead both men to think it wasn't anyone at the lab or PD because they'd be wasting their money.  Gil went to the florist shop again and was met with an even more determined shop assistant.  Nothing was forthcoming and Gil was threatened with the police if he bothered him again.  He backed off, he was not that furious that he couldn't see how stupid he was being. 

 

Nick was being calm and dignified about the whole thing.  He tried to keep Gil calm about it all, and succeeded most days, until the next delivery.

 

When the seventh yellow rose had been delivered they stopped and for two nights Gil was lighter and happier at work than he'd been since they started arriving.  On his way home Gil stopped his truck and bought Nick a huge bouquet of flowers.  Gil thought they were joyous, his flowers, a riot of colour and not a rose amongst them.

 

Nick had been staggered, flabbergasted, overjoyed, a little tearful even, and very, very, appreciative.

***

Part Three

 

The next night two roses were delivered, one red and one yellow.  Gil couldn't stay in the room and handed the assignments to Catherine to give out.  His retreating back was cause for some concern.

 

"Is he okay, Nick?"  Catherine seemed genuinely worried.

 

"Yeah...just annoyed is all.  He'll get over it, this...person...whoever, is going to get fed up sooner or later."

 

"Aren't you freaked out?  I mean I don't like bringing it up, but you had a stalker once."

 

"I think that was totally different situation; it was a threatening and murderous.  This seems to be a bit innocent...and romantic, I suppose, that's what really ups..."  Nick stopped, he'd said enough.  But it was too late.

 

"Gil's upset because it's romantic?  This is intriguing; would you care to enlighten us?"

 

"No Catherine, I would not.  Come on, let's get our job done."

 

"Amen to that."  Sara was so pissed by it all; it appeared to her that Gil and Nick were as strong as they ever were and even more, nauseatingly, together.  There was no justice; she wished she knew who was sending the fucking roses.  She'd tell them not to bother and save their money.

 

Before Nick went out to his burglary he stopped by to see Gil.  He closed Gil's office door for a little privacy.

 

"Hey."

 

"Nick, I'm sorry.  I could kill whoever it is with my bare hands.  Trying to take you away from me."

 

"I'm going nowhere, you know that.  If anything, it makes us stronger, doesn't it?"

 

"It does.  Makes me appreciate you more and realise just how much I love you."

 

"I like you loving me, you know that?"

 

"I think I do."

 

"Your flowers were much more beautiful than...the roses."

 

"You really think so, what about your Texan roses."

 

"Just a yellow rose from whomever, your flowers were given with love and care."

 

"You know what...they were; I did choose them carefully, no roses and lots of vibrant colour, to suit you and your personality.  I didn't realise that at the time.  This man or woman doesn't really know you.  I do and I love you."  Gil got up from his desk and walked around to where Nick was standing and just gently kissed him on the lips.  "Now get out and do your job."

 

"Okay.  I want you...in me, when we get home, okay?"

 

Gil took a huge breath. "I wish you hadn't said that.  I have at least another nine hours to work."

 

"Well just make sure we finish on time, you're the boss, make it happen."

 

"Oh, I'm the boss?"

 

"Here, you are."

 

"Thanks for letting me know."

 

"You're welcome.  See ya."

 

On his way to his truck he was waylaid by Greg.

 

"Hey Nick, Hodges has just told me that Gil just kissed you in his office...tell me that's not true?"

 

"That'd be Dr Grissom to you.  Come on, got your gear?"

 

"It's sooo true then.  Wait 'til I tell Catherine she'll be so mad to have missed it."

 

"I beg your pardon?  What on earth are you saying?"

 

"That Catherine thinks it's so hot that you guys are together.  You know how guys like to watch lesbians...well not real lesbians...the porno actresses who pretend, well I suppose it's the same for women, they like to watch guys...only you're real and not porno stars...are you?"

 

"Greggo, you're not taking anything are you...speed or something?"

 

"No man, I'm just high on life, just high on life."

 

"Right.  Okay.  Just for your information I never did like watching lesbians...now gays...that's a different matter altogether..."

 

"TMI Nick."

 

"You started it."  The two men laughed and joked their way to Greg's truck.

 

The roses continued doubling until a dozen roses had been delivered by the shop assistant himself to the lab.  Elaborately contained in tissue, with some greenery the roses did indeed look lovely.  Six red and six yellow roses.

 

Nick had only ever taken the first rose home and then thought better of it.  So the break room had roses of varying degrees of decay, in glasses and cups on the counter and table.  It was a constant reminder to Gil and he was increasingly annoyed at the emotions that they elicited from him.

 

Was someone trying to take Nick away from him?  Was it just a mischievous prank?  But, should he pay a little more attention to Nick?  Just make sure that no one else did lure him away?  He was sure that Nick was his and his alone, but it wouldn't hurt to be bit more considerate, be a bit more romantic.

 

Nick was always doing little things for him.  He'd leave a note in his sandwiches when it was his turn to make them or he'd leave a message for him when he had a day off, and he always bought his favourite candy when they went to the theatre.

 

Nick was a kind soul and Gil thought he could, and should, make a little more effort.  So just to make sure he would do something for Nick and he'd beat this fucking Romeo or Juliet at their own game.

 

The major anger in Gil dissipated when he'd formed his little plan.  The next evening if the pattern was repeated there would be no flowers from the unknown sender, but Nick would have a present, he'd make sure of that.

 

When Gil and Nick arrived at the briefing room there was great excitement. Okay, Catherine was excited.  Sara was utterly disinterested and Warrick and Greg feigned nonchalance.  But there was a boxed present and a note, in an envelope.  The box was wrapped in gold paper and was tied with gold thread and adorned with gold bows.  It looked expensive.

 

"There's a note Nick, a note."

 

"Calm down, Catherine.  I think I'll leave it 'til later."

 

"Oh no, you won't.  Open it now or I'll do it myself."  Catherine was not letting this go.

 

So Nick slowly opened the package, taking care not to rip the paper.  Gil was fascinated.  He was a tear it off sort of guy, but Nick always took his time and savoured the moment.

 

The package was a wooden box containing a bottle of fine champagne.  Krug.  The moment he saw it, Nick knew who'd sent it.

 

"Open the goddamned note...the note." Catherine was nearly bursting.

 

Nick picked up the small gold envelope and opened it up carefully, trying not to rip the paper.  He pulled out a piece of folded paper and read it and smiled.

 

"Well?"

 

"Well what?"

 

"What does it say?"

 

"I'm not telling you."

 

"Does it say who it's from?"

 

"No."

 

"No?  Hold on, Gil, why aren't you making a fuss here?"

"I'm being calm and Zen like."

 

"No, you're not.  It's from you isn't it?  Not flowers, you've sent him a present to compete with the other assh...sender."

 

"I'm pleading the fifth, come on let's get some work done."

 

"I cannot possibly get any work done until I've got to the bottom of this.  Did you send the flowers?"

 

"No."

 

"But you've sent this champagne?"

 

"I might have."

 

"You did."

 

"So why tonight?"

 

"If the pattern repeats itself, tonight would be a rose free night."

 

"So you just thought you'd get in there to re-assert your claim on Nick?"

 

"I have no claim on him, he's a free spirit."

 

"Don't give me that!  You're as jealous as hell and you know it...as, incidentally, do all of us.  So what gives?"

 

"Simple really; if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.  I'm not going to be outdone by a person who can't even be bothered to make him, or herself, known.  Nick and I are together, everyone in our world knows.  So, Catherine, I have a suspicious fire; take Greg..."

 

Gil really appeared to have put his annoyance behind him as he handed out the assignments and most of the team left the room, leaving just Gil and Nick.

***

Part Four 

 

"Krug, huh?"

 

"You like it."

 

"I do.  So do you; you want to share?"

 

"Of course."

 

"So why did you get me a gift?"

 

"For the reason I said, I'm not going to be outdone by some asshole, as Catherine nearly said, who can't be bothered to make themself known to you."

 

"Fair enough.  So this isn't a romantic gesture?  Nor the flowers you got for me?  Just retaliation for being shown up?"

 

"That's not what I meant.  You know I like buying you...things...gifts."

 

"You do not.  You've never bought me anything spontaneously...been romantic."

 

"I have..."

 

"...what...name one thing you've surprised me with."

 

"Well maybe not surprised you, exactly, but I've bought you things."

 

"Yes, you have, I'll give you that.  My watch last Christmas, beautiful present.  You took me to choose it."

 

"But if I'd bought it without you, it might not have been what you liked or wanted."

 

"I don't want to sound ungrateful..."

 

"...well, you do..."

 

"...oh, thank you.  Look I have work to do, here, have the champagne."  He pushed the box towards Gil and then up and left.  Gil was on his own, with the champagne, and a very puzzled look on his face.  He sat contemplating what he'd actually done wrong, but he didn't have an answer. 

 

Gil stayed in his office trying to make inroads into his mountain of paperwork.  The champagne lay on his desk to one side, a constant reminder of some gaffe he'd made, but couldn't figure out.  He sat back in his chair, gently swinging his glasses between his fingers.  He had thought that Nick and he were as good as it gets.  Their life together had seen some tumultuous problems, they had - Nick had - faced great adversity but had come out of it...Gil would have said intact, but the Nick, the Nick from the briefing room, was someone he'd not seen before.  Really angry with him...a cold demeanour when he normally was so warm and happy...

 

Even since the roses had been delivered they'd been happy and the sex had, as always, been incredible.  With Nick he'd discovered the hormones he'd ignored as a teenager and spent endless hours bringing pleasure to Nick, as indeed Nick had to him.  They were a couple; they did enjoy different things, of course, but each gave each other space to do their own thing.  Maybe Nick gave him a bit more space than he gave Nick...maybe...

 

But even as he thought about them as a couple, Gil thought how clichéd they'd become.  Was that because they'd been together for four years, and more, and were just used to each, had grown to know and respect each other...or was he taking Nick for granted?

 

Or, was it that Nick had adapted to Gil and Gil had just carried on as normal.  Gil swallowed hard and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  He recognised his own discomfort for exactly what it was.  Guilt.  He knew he was guilty of something.  He just needed to establish exactly what it was he'd done or, more probably, not done.

 

Gil got himself a mug of coffee and checked around the lab; everyone and everything was in order and on track.  It was a quiet night...and then he cursed under his breath for thinking that.  It would surely bring with it more work.  He wandered back into his office and found Jim sitting in a chair, staring at the champagne.

 

"Jim."

 

"Hey, Gil.  What's with the champagne?"

 

"I'd hoped you wouldn't ask."

 

"What's gone wrong then?"

 

"If I actually knew I could maybe put it right.  Didn't we have a conversation not long ago, where you said you knew nothing about women and relationships and I sat in my chair and gloated over my gay relationship and said that men didn't have the same problems?"

 

"Uh-uh.  Trouble in paradise?"

 

"Well, there you have it.  If you'd asked me that before I handed out assignments, I would have laughed and said, 'no way'; well...those fucking roses are getting on my nerves and I'm trying not to view them as a threat.  But, I decided to leave a present for Nick, because, and it was true to form, there were no roses delivered tonight."

 

"The champagne?"

 

"The champagne."

 

"Go on."

 

"There's not much to say.  Nick, initially, seemed very pleased that I'd got him a gift.  But then he started questioning my motives..."

 

"...and let me guess, they weren't as pure as the driven snow he'd anticipated."

 

"God, you're cynical..."

 

"...and right.  Am I right?"

 

"I suppose so.  He said that I never got him surprise gifts.  That I'd only bought him the champagne not to be outdone by the guy with the roses."

 

"Is that the truth?"

 

Gil paused.  "I suppose there is an element of truth in it."

 

"You know with this gay stuff, it still sounds like one of you...that is, not you, is the sort of...girl in the relationship."

 

"Jesus, Jim, if Nick heard you say that he'd punch your lights out, just to prove he isn't the girl.  But, it's not like he is the girl, or even effeminate, he isn't...at least it's never seemed that way.  I don't know anything anymore I don't know if it's me or him.  I can tell you one thing though Jim, and that is, I'd bet my last buck it's me."

 

"You're probably right."

 

"I'm not romantic.  He used to joke about it but now it seems it's become a big issue."

 

"Uh-uh Gil, issues?  That's very...I don't know...don't ask me, what do I know?"

 

"About as much as me?"

 

"Probably less; you and Nick have been very happy haven't you?  I've never even achieved that status."

 

"I'm going to have to talk to him."

 

"Talk.  Yep.  Good idea."

 

"You don't think it is?"

 

"Oh. Yes. I do.  It's just that I haven't got you down as a talking kind of guy...but like I said, what do I know?"  He smirked at Gil.

 

"No. There is that.  But Jim, I've got to do something, I can't let him slip through my fingers."  That very thought caused his innards to churn and for a few moments he thought he might vomit, but it passed, and he sipped his almost cold coffee.

 

"Do you know what, Gil?  I think, for what it's worth you should go in guns blazing and apologise, grovel and beg for forgiveness.  Never harmed anyone."  Jim was chuckling to himself.

 

"That's a good piece of advice."

 

Jim got up and smiled at Gil.  "Do it.  I hope it works.  See ya, good luck.  You'll need it."

 

"I don't doubt it.  Thanks Jim."

***

Part Five

 

Gil sat back in his seat.  He would apologise and ask Nick himself what he could do to make it better.  He had to invest some time and energy into this.  He loved Nick with all his heart and soul and would do anything for him.  He sat still for a few moments and thought of something that would probably put it all right...he wondered if it might work. 

 

It would be just what was needed to appease and calm Nick and kick the fucking rose man or woman, into touch.  It was a man, it had to be; a woman wouldn't put that much energy into the chase without revealing herself.

 

Another man was after Nick and all Gil had to do to claim him once and for all was to use the ultimate weapon.

 

Marriage.  A Civil partnership.  Him and Nick.  Perfect.

 

Nick had hinted at it several times...no, more than several times over the years but Gil had thought it ludicrous.  It wasn't legal in Nevada and would serve no purpose.   Now, it was blindingly obvious that it would serve a purpose...show Nick, show the entire fucking world and that fucking rose guy that Nick was taken...once and for all...

 

He needed to get to Nick and tell him.  Not try and side step the issue.  Gil was straightforward...that's what he liked to think and he was, he was sure.  He would find Nick and tell him was sorry, he'd underestimated the impact the rose guy would have...not on himself in his jealous rants...but on Nick who was obviously feeling that someone out there was being romantic towards him and he liked that...because he was suffering from...   Nick was suffering from Romantic Starvation...that was it, he'd cracked it.  Gil smirked to himself.  He'd identified the problem, the issue. Now all he had to do was put it right.

 

He pulled out his cell, selected 'Nick' and pressed call.  A few rings later Nick answered.

 

"What do you want?"  Uh-uh, Nick was still pissed there was no doubting that from his tone.

 

"To speak to you.  To say I'm sorry."  Jim's advice was sound, Gil knew that.

 

"You've already said you're sorry."

 

"I know.  I need to do this face to face.  How long will you be at your scene?"

 

"We're just packing up now.  I don't know whether I want to see you or not."

 

"Please Nick.  When you get back we'll go out for our break...just to a diner...so we're not at work.  Please?"  Gil swallowed hard while he waited for Nick to reply.  He was making Gil wait it out and they both knew it.

 

"I'll see how I feel when I get back."

 

"Okay, that's good.  See you soon."  Gil was going to say that he loved him, but thought it would sound insincere in the circumstances...despite his absolute sincerity.  Nick ended the call without speaking at all and that surprised Gil and he sighed.  He couldn't remember Nick ever being this angry with him...even in the beginning of their relationship when Gil had perfected non-communication into an art form.  He was much better now...he was sure.

 

Gil tried to concentrate on some work but every time he became engrossed in a file the face of Nick asking about the champagne appeared on the pages in front of him.  He couldn't work...he took a leak and then went to the back door to see if Nick's truck was parked up.  It wasn't, but Gil stayed outside leaning on the wall...it was a lovely night...not hot but not yet a cold desert night.

 

He was still there a few minutes later when Nick did roll up in his truck and parked.  Gil watched, unseen, as Nick and Sara unloaded the evidence they'd gathered and started towards the door.  Sara saw him first and as was her norm, when confronted by Gil, her face reset into a bitter, downturned look that non-verbally screamed resentment. 

 

Gil smiled at her and still, after all these years wondered why she could be happy and friendly with Nick and yet still loathe him.  He'd really given up trying to figure her out.

 

Nick saw him an instant later and his face reset itself too...not quite resentment but certainly annoyance.  Sara walked past him and into the building.  Nick stopped and looked at him.

 

"What's this?  Checking up on me?"  His voice still carrying that pissed tone he'd used on the cell phone.

 

"No.  I needed some fresh air...and it's actually a lovely night."

 

Nick nodded at him and continued his journey.  Gil watched him go and decided that he would stay outside a few minutes longer.  He did need the fresh air and he needed to regroup.  This was not going to be easy.

 

As he leaned on the wall and was thinking how to approach the subject...he had already apologised to Nick but it hadn't been accepted.  If he apologised and then leapt in and suggested to Nick that they get married or at least undertake a civil union, then Nick would be over him like a rash accusing him...and quite rightly so...of only proposing because of the roses and because he was jealous and was being upstaged.  He could do with more some advice...but had no one to ask since Jim wouldn't be able to stretch this far...  The very best person to ask would be Nick.  And that was not going to happen!

 

Gil was lost in thought and had lost track of time when the door opened again and Nick came out.

 

"I thought you'd be in by now.  Haven't you got work to do?"

 

"Too much.  But I can't settle.  I know I've seriously hurt you but I don't know how to put it right, Nick.  There's only one person I could ask and they're not available to me, right now."

 

He could see Nick frown and try to think to whom he was referring.   It suddenly dawned on him and he smiled.  "Me?"

 

Gil smiled back.  "I rely on you too much don't I...to guide me through all this relationship stuff.  And I don't pay you enough attention do I, anyway?"

 

"Not much."

 

"These roses?  They're driving me mad with jealousy.  I know I'm a jealous man anyway...only about you, you know that.  I don't want to lose you and yet I'm pushing you away with my stupid extreme behaviour.  I don't know how to put it right...put us right.  I even tried to get Jim to get a warrant to raid 'Daisy Chain'."

 

Nick looked at him amazed.  "A warrant?  On what grounds?"

 

"On the grounds of a man being driven mad with jealousy."

 

Nick chuckled.  He'd been standing in front of Gil but now moved and leaned against the wall next to him.

 

"I don't really understand you, you know?"

 

"You don't?"  Gil looked shocked.  "I thought you understood me better than I understand myself."

 

"I don't.  I guess I just got lucky.  I can't understand this jealousy.  I don't know what you've got to be jealous about.  I know I've seen it before but that's been...I don't know, endearing, when we've been in a club and some guy has chatted me up.  That makes me feel safe...and loved..."

 

"I do love you..."

 

"...I know you do.  I don't doubt that at all...but what I cannot fathom out is why you're so fucking furious at some roses?"

 

"It's not the roses..."

 

"...you know what I mean."

 

"That someone is sending them to you with a view to...taking you away from me?"

 

"No one's going to do that..."

 

"...aren't they?  How do you know?"  Gil sounded almost anguished.

 

Nick chuckled a little and started to speak.  "Becau..."

 

The door opened beside them and Sara stuck her head out.  "Vartann's got a guy in custody...he wants you at LVPD."

 

"Thanks Sara.  On my way."  He pushed himself away from the wall.

 

"Because?"  Gil asked him.

 

Nick just smiled at him and went into the lab leaving him banging the back of his head on the wall...but only gently...

***

Part Six

 

Gil didn't feel quite as bad as he had done...their talk had gone a little way to easing the tension.  He was pretty sure that Nick was going to say that he loved him.  But he wished with all his heart that Nick had had the time or even the inclination to say it...because...it would have made him feel a whole lot better.

 

He didn't see Nick again until they were at home.  Both men had ended up working another half a shift longer but they'd got three cases wrapped up between them.  Gil's curse had come true with a last minute rush of a murder and a stabbing.

 

When he got home, before Nick, he put the champagne in the freezer for a few minutes to quickly cool it down and then put it on ice.  He prepared the strawberries he'd purchased on the way home and then went to shower and wait for Nick.  He then started cooking their dinner.  He heard the front door open and went out into the living room

 

"Hey."  Nick looked tired and Gil went straight up to him and hugged him.  "I've started dinner, so go get a shower and we can have a cold beer when you come down."

 

Nick had returned the hug but pulled back.  "Can't I have a cold beer before my shower?"

 

Gil laughed.  "Of course you can I just thought it would taste better when you'd washed away the day's work."  He let go of Nick and turned to go to the kitchen to get Nick a beer.

 

"You're right.  I'll go shower."  He went to the stairs and climbed a couple and then turned around and looked across at Gil.  "Because I love you."  He smiled, wearily, and then turned and carried on his journey.

 

Gil chuckled to himself.  The very words had caused his body to relax a little.  It told him that he would be able to salvage Nick from this debacle.  And if, as he expected, the roses arrived at shift tonight he would ignore them.  Ignore them.  Ignore them.  Ignore them.  He kept repeating his little mantra in the hope that it would sink into his skull and brain.

 

The dinner was almost ready when Nick came back downstairs.  He had on an old t-shirt and his sweat pants and looked, in Gil's books, good enough to eat.  He got two beers from the fridge and opened them, giving one to Nick.

 

"Cheers."  Nick smiled and they clicked their bottles together and both took long slugs of the beer.

 

"Dinner's ready, are you?"

 

"Sure.  What've we got?"

 

"Spaghetti bolognaise with garlic bread and salad.   For dessert I've got some strawberries and the champagne's on ice."

 

"Let's eat then."

 

They both went about getting the meal onto their dishes and worked like a well-oiled machine, each knowing what to do without getting in the other's way.  Gil was smiling.

 

"What're you smiling at?"

 

"Us.  We work well together."

 

Nick smiled and nodded.  They sat at the table and Gil picked up his fork and spoon.  He looked at Nick.  "I am sorry, you know.  About the champagne.  It was an ill-conceived plan."  Nick chuckled.  "What's funny?"  Gil asked, though he was smiling.

 

"Only you could call failing a romantic challenge as an, 'ill-conceived plan'"

 

"Am I forgiven?  I do want to share the Krug with you; it'd lose its taste without you."

 

"There you see, you can say romantic things if you try."

 

"I can?  I see what you mean.  I don't look on that as romantic, just telling you how it is."

 

"But that's it.  You don't have to think about it and come up with some elaborate plan...just act natural..."

 

"...but when I act naturally...that's when I mess up.  I am trying to get the hang of it.  I promise you.  I love you."

 

"I know you do.  I just..."

 

"Just what?"  Gil spoke with some concern.

 

"Nothing, come on eat up, or it'll go cold."

 

But Gil looked down at his food and he wasn't hungry and didn't think he could even put it in his mouth for fear of vomiting.  Just what...was Nick was going to say to him?

 

"Eat up."

 

"I can't."

 

"Why?  Because I started to say something and stopped?"

 

"Yes."

 

Nick put down his flatware.  "I was going to say that we've been together for over four years now and I just wish you could be a bit more romantic...the way this person is by sending the roses..."

 

"...it's not more romantic is it?"

 

Nick shook his head.  "No...I just wish you were romantic, just sometimes."

 

Gil leaned forward and put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, rubbing them through his hair.

 

"This is the first time in all of the four years that you've said that to me.  But you've felt like it for all that time?  Never said before, you've just put up and shut up?"  Gil was upset Nick could see and he immediately regretted what he'd said and yet...

 

"It hasn't been the whole time, no.  But as we've settled down...it seems as if you've taken me for granted.   It seems to me that everything we do...is what you want to do...and I'm at fault here, I admit it, because I've just gone along with all your plan and ideas."

 

"So now I find out that what I've been doing for all the time we've been together is ignoring your wishes?  I didn't know.  If you didn't tell me how was I to know?  How the fuck was I supposed to know?"  Gil was angry now.

 

"That's the point isn't it?  You never asked, never acknowledged that I might have some ideas, some view on what we do, where we go.  Everything."

 

"You knew what I was like.  You knew...and you've never said, never challenged me before now.  I thought you were happy and now I find out that you never were happy.  What the fuck's all this about Nick...I wish you'd tell me because as sure as hell I have no fucking idea." 

 

Gil's voice had been steadily rising in volume and as he reached the end of the sentence, he swiped his hand across the table and his meal was propelled across the table with such force it didn't fall of the edge of the table but carried on across the space between the table and the wall and hit the kitchen wall...the dish smashing into pieces and the food splattering across the wall and the floor.

 

The force surprised both men but Gil recovered first and slammed his chair back as he stood up and it fell over backwards.  He almost ran out of the kitchen before Nick had taken in what had happened.

 

It had taken two or three seconds but it was a like a slow motion scene.  Gil's face red with fury and Nick's face a picture of shock.  Nick had never seen Gil behave like that before.  Not once, not ever.  He swallowed.  He didn't know what to do.  He puffed out his cheeks and looked at the mess.

 

This was fucking unbelievable.  Fucking roses did this to him?  No, not the roses...he'd just done this to Gil...

***

Part Seven

Nick sat still for a few minutes and then decided he'd clean up the mess...if he didn't it would congeal and just be more difficult to get up.  It would give him a few minutes to think and for Gil to cool down.

 

It took him about ten minutes; he threw all of the food in the trash.  He wasn't hungry any more.

 

But while he was cleaning he was thinking about what he'd said to Gil and what Gil had said back.  Perhaps he'd been too harsh.  He had always willingly gone along with all of Gil's plans and ideas.  Most of the time he was happy to do what Gil wanted to do...he was happy...he certainly wasn't unhappy, he just got annoyed sometimes at being sidelined.  Just sometimes...but since the roses Gil had been more attentive towards him and Nick had really liked it...he'd liked Gil seething with jealousy over the roses...

 

But Gil was also right; he'd never mentioned it to him.  So he supposed that Gil would be very surprised that after all their time together Nick had suddenly brought up the subject.  And he was certain that Gil was wrong when he'd said Nick wasn't happy.  He was happy and he loved Gil.

 

Gil was very surprised?  That was an understatement.  He'd been as mad, as furious, as Nick had ever seen him.  Even if it was only his dinner he'd never resorted to violence before.  He wasn't a violent man.  Never had been and Nick had supposed he never would be; but he was wrong about that, and how...

 

So was it his fault?  Yes and no.   Yes, he supposed he should not have just blurted it out he could have been a little more circumspect about where and when, and how, he brought up the subject.  But, no, because Gil had never once queried whether Nick was okay doing what he wanted...but Nick had never said.  And he knew what Gil was like...more than Gil himself in some respects.

 

He leaned on the kitchen sink.  He was tying himself up in knots but he was mostly to blame; he knew he was for what had happened at dinner.  And he knew he'd been hiding things and he shouldn't have done that.  He'd better apologise.  He was the one who'd made the mess of it all.  He was the one who knew what was going on and he knew Gil was incapable, unable, to follow through.  He was better than he had been but in truth Nick thought that Gil was emotionally stunted and knowing that...knowing that he'd deliberately pushed the knife in and then twisted it...so all he'd done was make it  worse...much, much worse.  Shit.

 

He went from the kitchen into the living room; Gil wasn't there but then he didn't expect him to be.  He remembered he'd heard Gil run up the stairs.  The bedroom.  Nick ran up the stairs and into their bedroom.

 

Gil's suitcase was open on the bed and seeing it was a shock, a physical shock...a thud in his chest...but Gil was sitting on the bed, his head in his hands like at the table but this time his elbows were on his knees.

 

"I'm sorry."  Nick spoke softly and his voice was trembling with the shock and worry of seeing the suitcase.

 

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry."  Gil looked up at Nick and Nick got the second shock of his life.  Gil's face was contorted and wet from tears.  He'd been crying.  Nick had never seen Gil cry.  Instantly Nick's tears were flowing.

 

"Oh God, Gil.  I'm sorry."  He dropped down onto his knees in front of Gil and ran his hands up Gil's forearms.  "I'm sorry.   I didn't mean..."

 

"...of course you did and you're right...right."  His tears flowed down his cheeks.  "I'm going to a motel or hotel or something.  While you decide what..."

 

"...decide what?  Decide what?  We're not breaking up.  We're not.  We're not."  Nick had moved swiftly into panic mode.  If he'd hoped to get Gil to just take a bit more notice of him he'd failed miserably if Gil thought they were breaking up.

 

"I don't see how we can carry on, Nick.  I have disregarded your feelings every minute of every day that we've been together..."

 

"...that's not true.  It's just not true."

 

"It's what you said.  And I know you're right.  I've done exactly what I've wanted to do all the time we've been together..."

 

"...and for most of that time, Gil.  Most of that time I was happy to follow you...I was more than happy.   I was, I promise."

 

"But that's not what you said, is it?"

 

"I'm an idiot.  I was trying to hurt you...trying to get you to see...fuck I don't know what I was doing.  Please don't leave me.  Please."  Nick was sobbing now.

 

"But if you felt bad enough about it to tell me then it is important to you.  I haven't changed, Nick, in all the time we've been together, I haven't changed...and the problem as I see it is...I don't think I can.  I can't suddenly become the romantic man you want me to be.  It's not in me...I know it isn't.  You'd be better off finding out who's sending the roses...he's a romantic, not me."

 

"I know."

 

"You know?"

 

"I know who's sending them."

 

Gil was suddenly dry eyed and looking directly at Nick.  "You know who's sending them?"

***

Part Eight

Nick looked even more distraught at Gil's question.  He had been on his knees but sank back onto his backside and put his arms around his legs and his forehead on his knees and his sobs were wracking his body.

 

"Who's been sending them?  Who?  Nick?"  Gil's voice was becoming insistent.

 

Nick mumbled something into his knees.

 

"What was that?  Nick, what did you say?"

 

Nick looked at Gil, his face an absolute picture of misery. "A guy I know.  At the gym."

 

"You've known all along and let me get into this state?"  He held up his hands in a gesture of disbelief.  Gil stared at Nick.  "Why didn't you tell me?  Why?"

 

"I didn't know all along...I didn't...I found out last week when he asked me if I liked the roses.  I didn't know until then.  I didn't."  Nick started sobbing again.

 

"Who is it?"

 

"A guy I dated..."

 

"...a fucking man you've fucking slept with?"  Gil jumped up off the bed and paced the bedroom.

 

"I knew him years ago...when I first came to Vegas and we dated for a few weeks...is all...maybe five or six weeks.  I dumped him.  I dumped him...it was years before you...years..."  Nick was now weeping quietly.

 

Gil was walking around the bedroom in a state of shock.  Why wouldn't Nick tell him?  Why?  To make me jealous, deliberately.  Okay, he made me jealous.  Why did he want to make me jealous?  To make me pay more attention to him.  To make me be more romantic. 

 

It was like a blinding flash to Gil.  Nick had kept quiet about it as a punishment for all the years of ignoring him...of taking him for granted.  It was payback.  Gil sat back down on the bed in front of Nick.  He reached over and prised Nick's hands away from his legs. 

 

"It's okay, Nick.  It's okay.  I think I understand."  He pulled Nick towards him and hugged him.  "It's all my fault.  I think I understand."  He sighed as Nick continued to sob.

 

"You were trying to make me more attentive...I can see that."

 

Nick pulled back from Gil and used the hem of his t-shirt to wipe his nose and face.  "I'm sorry."

 

"So this guy wants to get back together with you?"

 

Nick nodded.  "I said it would never happen because I was with you...he laughed and he said he'd wear me down...but I laughed back and said he wouldn't and it was a waste of his money."

 

"So you've been seeing this guy at the gym for all these years..."

 

"...no...no.  I haven't seen him for years...years.  I caught a glimpse of him a couple of months ago at the gym and waved...and then we spoke a few weeks ago...just caught up...he's been working in LA for years and had just come back to Vegas.  He asked me if I was still at the lab...and he asked me out on a date and I said I was with you.  That was all...and I hadn't seen him again until last week when he asked about the roses.  It just never occurred to me..."

 

"...it never occurred to you?"  Gil couldn't help his voice rising in anger again.  "A man...an old boyfriend...asks you for a date, knows you work at the lab and you didn't think to link the two events together when the roses started arriving?  You're a fucking CSI...what about all your years of training?"

 

And that angered Nick.  "I don't fucking live and breathe work like you...I never thought of him, okay?  It didn't even cross my mind when I saw him again until he asked about the roses.  I might have known for a week but I didn't know beforehand..."

 

"...you could have told me when you found out...you should have told me, but you wanted to continue to hurt me didn't you, punish me for not being romantic?  Aren't we supposed to be partners...lovers...no secrets and all that..."

 

"...I didn't think..."

 

"...oh, you fucking did...you thought you would hurt me..."

 

"...I didn't.  I thought he'd stop sending them..."

 

"...but he didn't, did he, and still you didn't tell me?   What's his name...this ex-boyfriend of yours?"

 

"I can't tell you that...you'll kill him the way you are...I can't let you do that..."

"...because you don't want him dead..."

 

"...NO!  Because I don't want you in jail...it's you I'm thinking of...I don't give a fuck about him.  It's you."  Nick had started by shouting but had ended by whispering.  But he was sure Gil didn't believe him. 

 

Gil just stared at him for a few moments then spoke quietly, but menacingly enough to make Nick hold his breath.

 

"You know what Nick...you can have your romantic gym buddy...I'm off."

 

Gil got up from the bed and went around the room opening the closet and drawers and taking clothes out and putting them on the bed.  Nick just sat on the floor.  His tears had dried up and he watched his life going down the pan.  What a fool he was...and the worst thing of it was that Gil was right...he did do it to hurt Gil...well not to hurt him exactly but to make him take more notice.  He'd certainly taken more notice now that was for sure...  His stupidity had fucked it all up...forever...

 

It must have been getting on for ten minutes before Gil had packed his suitcase, quite roughly, and was zipping it up.  He hadn't spoken and Nick hadn't moved.  He lifted the case off the bed and walked out of the bedroom.  Nick watched his happy life walk out with him.

 

Downstairs Gil picked up his jacket, wallet and keys and went out to his truck...threw the case on the back seat, climbed into the driving seat and reversed off the driveway.  He accelerated away from the house; Nick watched him leave from their bedroom window...

***

Part Nine

Gil drove fast and furiously for about ten minutes.  Ignoring other traffic and road signs and earning a few horn blasts as he pummelled his way along the roads with his large and powerful truck...but his anger started to wane...and soon he was back to driving in his usual sedate manner.

He saw a parking lot for a roadside diner and pulled onto it and parked the truck.  He banged the steering wheel a few times with his hands.  Then took his keys out and went into the diner and ordered a coffee.  He sat for a few minutes with staring at the coffee and thinking about it all...

It was easily the worst thing that had happened to them in the years they'd been together but was it worth ending it all?  They were both at fault.  Both of them had behaved out of character and in anger.  But was their relationship worth saving?

Gil had been slumped in a seat but with that thought he sat up straight.  Of course it was worth saving.  He loved Nick.  He wasn't going to just stop loving him because of one fight.  Okay it was a big fight...but he'd go back.  He left a few bucks for the coffee and a tip and went back out to his truck and in a much more careful manner drove back to their house.

He pulled up on the drive and jumped out and went to walk towards the house but turned back and retrieved his suitcase.  He needed to show Nick he was back to stay.

He opened the front door and walked in...Nick wasn't there so he went up the stairs.  In the bedroom Nick's own suitcase was open and mostly packed and just as Gil was looking at it Nick walked out of the bathroom holding his wash bag.  He jumped slightly seeing Gil standing there.

The first thing Gil noticed was how awful Nick looked.  His face was deathly pale but blotchy and his eyes were swollen and red.  His eyeballs were red too and his eyes looked sore.

They stood staring at each other for a few moments and then Gil spoke.

"I'm sorry.  You hurt me, Nick, I can't deny that...but I've hurt you just as much...but we can't throw away our time together over one huge fight, can we?  It can't be the end of us, can it?  I love you and I don't want to lose you...we can get over it can't we?"  He knew he sounded pathetic and unsure but he hoped he sounded at least a little optimistic too.

Nick nodded and his head dropped down to avoid eye contact.  "I couldn't stay here without you.  I couldn't stay in Vegas without you.  I was going back to Texas."

"Texas?  Today?"

Nick nodded.  "I was going to McCarran to see if I could get the next flight out...I'm sorry, Gil.  I'm so sorry.  It is my fault.  I know it is..."  Gil had dropped his suitcase and    gone to Nick and hugged him...his wash bag between them.

"It wasn't all your fault.  Look, shall we just agree on a fifty fifty split of the blame?  And start over?"

Nick tried to chuckle a little and nodded again.  "I'll leave the gym..."

"...there's no need to do that.  You like it there...this guy's an ex and you've told him you're not interested.  Why should you have to leave because I've been so fucking unreasonable?"  He paused but then added.  "We could always fire off a lawyer's letter if he persists."  Nick sniffed and nodded this time.  "Come and sit down on the bed."

Nick dropped the wash bag on the bed and they sat, awkwardly, with their arms around one another and then lay down together across the bed...Nick's suitcase was still on the end of the bed...and they fell asleep...both men utterly physically and emotionally exhausted.

Gil was the first to wake...they were still entwined.  He looked down and saw that they were still dressed and he even had on his shoes.  Nick started to stir.  Gil looked at his watch...they'd actually slept for six hours.

"Hey."  Gil spoke softly to Nick.

"Hey.  Are you okay...sleeping like that..."

"...I'm fine.  You?"

"Yeah.  Thanks for coming back...I thought it was all over."

"I was angry.  I stopped at a diner and had a coffee and suddenly realised that I was being unreasonable.  People have fights...couples...don't they?  It doesn't mean that they have to split up."

"No."

"And...no recriminations from either of us.  What's done is done and can't be undone.  We do need to talk about it..."  At Nick's raised eyebrows he smiled and then continued.  "...even I realise that.  But as long as we can recognise what went wrong we can at least try to put it right.  I need to change...I know I do and I'm going to try...really try, Nick.

"Okay.  I will leave the gym...there's a new one at LVPD anyway and it's a lot closer...and probably cheaper."

"Is there?  A new gym?  I hadn't heard."

"That's because you're not a gym person."

"No.  I'm not...but then maybe I would benefit from some exercise."

"I like you the way you are.  Love you.  Gil, I love you and I promise I will never keep a secret again...ever."  Nick rolled closer to Gil and hugged him.  "My eyes hurt...have we got any drops?"

"What you need is cucumber...put some slices on your eyes...it's supposed to be very soothing."

"I guess I could give it a go."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah.  You?"

"Starving.  Oh, God, the mess in the kitchen..."

"...I cleaned it up..."

"...you did?  I cannot believe I did that."

"I made you do it..."

"...does love make you angry?  I've never loved anyone as much as I love you.  But at the same time I don't think I've ever been as angry at anyone as I was at you."

"I don't think I've ever been so stupid."

"Me too.  Let's go out for something to eat.  On our way to work."

"Okay.  I'll take a trash bag to work and throw away all the flowers and tell them all I know who's sending them.  And...I'll go to 'Daisy Chain' after work in the morning and threaten them if the send any more..."

"...you've given it some thought?"

"I should have done it in the beginning.  I just got carried away..."

"...with the romance of it all and I just got angry...jealous.  Though I did think of a plan to win you back..."

"...man, you never lost me..."

"...I thought I was in danger of losing you...turned out I nearly did but from my own stupidity."

"So what was your plan?"

"To propose...that still stands and I know this isn't very romantic...but Nick, will you marry me?"

Nick grinned.  "That's the most romantic thing you've ever said because you thought of something I want.   But you don't have to..."

"...I want to marry you.  If you'll have me?"  Gil frowned and thought that maybe he should have waited and thought this through but then Nick smiled at him.

"I'll have you.  But on one condition."  Nick was looking at Gil now with a serious expression.

"Anything."  Gil didn't think he was in any position to bargain.

"I want a diamond.  Something that says we're engaged.  You know I've always wanted one ever since my oldest sister got engaged.  I thought one day I want a man to give me a diamond.  Of course I didn't tell anyone...I was still in the closet...well, I thought I was, turned out all my sisters guessed anyway."

"Nick, you can have a diamond...I know it would be romantic of me just to get one and present it to you..."

"...I think I'd like to choose it."  Nick chuckled and then got serious.  "I thought...after you'd gone...that I should have remembered how lucky I was to have had you, instead of wanting to change you into something you're not."

"I think I should change...I think I need to change.  I was behaving, I don't know, like some kind of fucking gay diva."

Nick laughed.  "You and me both."

"I'm going to try and change Nick, I promise."

"Let's just take it a day at a time."

"Now that...is a good idea."

***

Part Ten

They ate at a diner on the way to work but both men could only manage a small part of their meals.  The emotional upheaval that they'd both suffered had taken its physical toll on them.  Nick looked as if he'd been without sleep for days on end and his eyes were only slightly less puffy than they'd been...despite the cucumber.

"I think they'll notice at work.  Catherine especially."  Nick said as he rubbed his face and eyes.

Gil stretched his hand across the table and pulled one of Nick's hands away from his eyes.  "Don't rub them you'll make them worse."  He smiled.

"Yeah...there's a Walgreen's a couple of blocks up, I'll get some drops...the adverts say they're miraculous."

"It must be true then."  Gil paused and then smiled at Nick.  "Don't tell them at work that you knew who'd been sending them...it's none of their business.  Let them suffer...it's only Catherine anyway who's really interested."

"Are you sure.  It will vindicate your behaviour if I confess..."

"...nothing will vindicate my behaviour.   Extreme asshole..."

"Yeah...you were extreme..."

  "...I'm going to try to be better.  Make a really conscious effort."

"But I was worse...instead of calming you down I went out of my way to make it...you...worse.  You don't have to change...not too much."  He added with a smile.

"We're sharing culpability remember, and moving on.  Now that you've accepted my proposal I'm going to plan our wedding...or union.  I'm going to take all the responsibility..."  Gil saw Nick frown.  "...and consult you, of course, every step of the way.  But I will do it..."

"...okay, I believe you."  Nick smiled some more but did wonder if it would ever happen. 

"I'm making a promise to you now.  And starting off as I intend to continue...after shift in the morning we're going diamond ring shopping."

"Wow.  Already?"

"There's no time like the present...and if you want those eyes drops we'd better get going."

"Before we go diamond ring shopping...I want to go to Daisy Chain."

The drops worked quite well and Nick's eyes felt as if they'd been soothed.  As soon as he got to work he took the large trash bag he'd brought from home and dumped all the flowers in it and took it out to the dumpster in the lot. 

He spoke to Judy on reception and told her that if any more flowers were delivered he didn't want them; she should throw them away or take them home if she wanted them but he didn't even want to see them.  She agreed and said she would take them home with her because they were beautiful and it would be a crime to ditch them.  Nick smiled and nodded his agreement.

Work was frantic and no one had a chance to speak to Nick about the disappearance of his roses and his (still) obviously sore eyes.  Gil and Nick left work only two hours after the end of their shift, which they counted as a very good day.  The others all remained in the field dealing with two murders.

Gil drove to the florist shop and Nick went inside alone.

A man, maybe in his late twenties, early thirties, came from the back of the shop.

"Hi there, can I help you?"

"I hope so.  My name's Nick Stokes and..."

"...at last!"  The man exclaimed.

"I beg your pardon?"  Nick was instantly alert.  Did this assistant know something?

"Have you come about the flowers?"

"Yeah, I have."

"Have you got some identification...you driver's licence would do?"

"Why?"

"Because I have something for you and the guy said that before I give it you to make sure it's you and I had another guy come in making some enquiries and he was...aggressive."

"Yeah, I know, my partner."

"Ohhh...I get it."

Nick stood there for a few moments then pulled out his wallet and found his licence and showed it to the assistant.

"Great.  I hope you loved the flowers...they're fresh and lovely blooms...here."  While he was talking he'd retrieved a letter from a drawer and handed it to Nick. 

It was a plain white envelope with his name written in longhand on the front.  He looked at the envelope for a long moment and then tore it in two and handed it back to the surprised young man.

"If Ben Hawkins comes here again please give him that back and tell him I didn't bother reading it.  If I see him I'll tell him myself.  Your fresh and lovely blooms are in the trash and will continue to be dumped for as long as they continue to arrive.  He's wasting his money.  Although..."   Nick actually chuckled at the thought.  "...it's probably good business for you but it's a waste of such beautiful flowers...but they might as well be poison ivy for all I care.  Okay?"

"Okay.  I was really quite taken with his romantic gesture."

"You want him...you can have him."

"I'm not gay."  He protested. 

Nick shrugged.  "If he still wants to send the flowers to me...address them to someone else...or send them to Desert Palm...the ER...they never get flowers in the ER do they? That would be good."  Nick laughed.

"If he still wants to do business I could do that...he wouldn't know would he?"

"Not from me."  Nick left it at that and turned and went out to the truck where Gil was waiting.  He'd specifically said that he wouldn't interfere.

"How did it go?"  Gil wanted to know.

"I told him and said that if Ben still wanted to buy flowers then he should send them to the ER at Desert Palm...Ben will never know."

"Ben?  That's his name?"

"Yeah.  He'd also left me a letter."

"What did it say?"

"No idea.  Ripped it in two and gave it back to the florist guy."

"Really?  Aren't you curious about what he had to say?"

"No."

"Oh."

"What?"

"I would be...I think I'd have to read it."

"Gilbert Grissom; it's of absolutely no interest...whatsoever...to me."

Gil smiled and nodded.  "Okay.  Jewellers?"

"Yeah.  I've been thinking about this ring...I don't think I want anything too ostentatious..."

"...no?"  Gil smirked as he eased the truck into traffic.

"No...but a nice clear sparkling stone...actually I've just had an idea..."  Nick sounded excited.

"...what's that?"

"Instead of having two separate rings for an engagement and then a wedding band I could incorporate the two and have a diamond kind of in the band...what do you think?"

"I think you can have whatever you want.  Always."

"All I really want is you..." 

"You know, Nick?  All I've ever wanted is you..."

"Yeah...well keep your eyes on the road and let's find a ring.  I think you should have one too...a matching pair of rings for a matching pair of idiots."

The End

***