Title: H1N1
Author: Dee
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 34268
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom, Nick Stokes and everyone else to varying degrees.
Warnings: AU and fluff!
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Unbeta-ed: All mistakes will be mine.
A/N: Well, the Swine Flu pandemic never properly materialised but the fic eventually did.

He could barely hold his cell phone in his hands; he was shaking and gasping for breath as he tried to dial, ‘911’…he was only successful at his third attempt.

 

---ooOoo---

 

“Does anyone know where Nick is?”  Gil asked his team as they congregated around the briefing room for their assignments.

 

“Nope.”  Greg didn’t know.

 

“I haven’t seen him yet; maybe he’s just stuck in traffic.”  Catherine hazarded a guess.

 

“Now that’s likely, man, it was a bitch tonight.”  Warrick knew all about the traffic.

 

“Yeah.”  Sara agreed.

 

Gil weighed up what had been said and it was plausible enough; although in all the years Nick had been at the lab he couldn’t remember him ever being late.

 

“Okay, let’s get the assignments out; when he gets in Nick can pick up any slack.”

 

Thirty minutes later Gil glanced up at his clock, he hadn’t heard from Nick and if he was stuck, or broken down or even sick, he’d call.  For whatever reason Gil felt slightly uneasy about it, this was out of character.  Out of Nick’s straightforward character.

 

He’d tried Nick’s cell.  But no one answered and it went to voicemail, he’d left two messages.  He tried his home landline and it just kept ringing out and eventually that too went to a message service.  Gil decided to leave it another thirty minutes and then he’d go and check out Nick’s house.  That was his plan and he felt better for having made it.

 

In fact is was forty-five minutes later as Gil eased his truck into the traffic…and Warrick had been right…it did seem heavier than usual.

 

Gil had had to look up Nick’s address; just as he was leaving he realised he actually had no idea where he lived.  He knew he’d moved a couple of years ago, into a house from a condo…but for some reason or other Gil had missed his housewarming party; he was sure he’d been invited.

 

Another thirty minutes later he was in Nick’s street looking for his house, although he had a big clue when he saw Nick’s truck on a driveway up ahead.  He parked up, there was a light on in what Gil presumed was the living room.  It wasn’t a bright light so maybe it was just a timed security light.  As he walked past the truck Gil felt the hood, it was cold; so it hadn’t been used recently.

 

When he reached the porch to the front door an automated security light brightly illuminated Gil and the porch, and part of the driveway.

 

Gil pushed the bell and waited; he pushed it again and held on for longer.  Nothing, no movement, no sign of life.  Gil felt uneasy…he couldn’t say why, he just did.  He banged on the door with his fist.  Nothing.

 

He stepped back and looked at the neat little house.  Was Nick inside?   He had no idea.  Gil wondered about breaking the door down, he had an enforcer in the back of his truck and could easily do it, but was that an over-reaction?  He stood still on the driveway contemplating his next move.

 

It hit him like a flash; what if Nick had booked a leave day; Gil hadn’t looked at the leave chart and he could have easily forgotten if he’d signed Nick’s application for leave.  That was a plausible explanation…except that Catherine, or Warrick, or Greg, or Sara, would have known that...wouldn’t they?

 

Gil stood looking at the house with his hands on his pockets and swaying slightly on his heels.  He really did feel uneasy; but suddenly decided it would be prudent to check the leave position before breaking down the door.  He retrieved his cell and flipped it open to dial when he heard someone behind him call out.

 

“Excuse me?  Excuse me?”

 

He turned around to face a woman, in her forties he guessed, casually dressed and holding a towel.  “Ma’am?”

 

“My mother saw you trying to get the young man who lives here to open up…Mom’s disabled and she sits at the window a lot of the day to watch the world go by…while I’m at work…so she knows what’s going on more than I do.  But then she forgets to tell me what she sees, but she saw you and it reminded her to tell me.”

 

“Tell you?”  Gil urged.

 

“Oh yes, sorry…she said she saw…who are you anyway?”

 

“I’m Nick’s supervisor, his boss, and he hasn’t turned up for work, he works graveyard…night shift…here…”  Gil retrieved his LVPD identification badge and the woman looked at it, while he quietly simmered at her procrastination, although she was being sensible, he could be anyone.

 

“Thank you…you have to be a bit careful nowadays…anyway I’m sorry to say that Mom saw him being taken away by Paramedics, in an ambulance…about three o’clock this afternoon, she thinks.  ‘Maury’ had just come on TV, she said.”

 

Gil was reeling at the disclosure. “Paramedics?  Thank you.  Thank your Mom very much, I was thinking about breaking down his door.  I’d better get going and find out where he is…but thank you…and thank your Mom.”   Gil was walking away from her to his truck even as he was babbling his thanks.

 

“You’re welcome.”  The woman said as she watched him leave. 

 

Gil got in his truck and was about to call the lab for them to find out which hospital Nick had been taken to when he realised he’d actually passed Desert Palm on his way to Nick’s; he was bound to be there.

 

He turned his truck and waved, perfunctorily, at the woman still watching him, and sped off.  If he hit traffic he’d decided he was going to use his lights and siren…in his opinion the situation warranted the urgency.

 

He parked in the Emergency vehicles lot at the hospital and walked as quickly as he could into the reception area.  He approached the desk and had to wait for a few minutes for a couple to have their queries addressed and then it was his turn.

 

“Hello, how may I help you?”  The young woman asked

 

“Nick’s been admitted…well I think…”  God almighty what was he talking about; he stopped and took a deep breath and began again.

 

“I’m sorry; let me begin again.  A member of my team hasn’t turned in for work and I think he may have been admitted to this hospital, could you check your records please. I work for LVPD.”  And once again he proffered his badge for perusal.

 

“Okay.  Name?”

 

“Gil Griss…”  He stopped and she smiled at him.  “Nick Stokes.  Nicholas…William Stokes.”

 

“Yes, he was admitted at three twenty this afternoon.”

 

“God.”  Gil was momentarily taken aback.  He’d expected that he’d been admitted, but having it confirmed took the wind out of him.

 

“Are you okay, Sir?”

 

“Yeah.  Yes, I am, just shocked.  Can you tell me anything?”

 

“I’m sorry I have no access to any medical information and I couldn’t tell you anyway, but he’s on Floor Six in the…oh…he’s in the Critical Care Unit.”

 

“He’s critical…he’s critically sick?”

 

“I’m sorry; but it would appear that he is...if you go up in that elevator over there…”  She pointed across the foyer and Gil followed her hand.  “…when you get out on six, turn left and the CCU is just ahead of you.  Okay?”

 

“Thank you.  Thank you for your help.  Thank you.”  He was babbling again and the young woman smiled, as if she knew something.

 

In the elevator Gil tried to calm down, taking deep breaths; his show of complete idiocy in reception didn’t need to be repeated in the CCU.  He needed to find out what was wrong and how he could help.

 

But what he couldn’t quite fathom was that Nick was at work the night before and had seem perfectly okay to Gil, he’d even called out ‘bye’ to Nick when he’d left work.  But Nick had looked pale.  Gil remembered thinking that; but he was okay.  He didn’t seem as if he was hours away from being critically sick.

 

When the elevator doors opened Gil took an extra deep breath and turned left.  The signs indicated he was entering the, ‘Critical Care Unit’, and that he would be required to register at the desk before entering.  The hospital had the right to refuse entry if it was in a patient’s interest.  That’s what it said.

 

He arrived at the desk and a young man, his name tag said he was ‘Billy’, looked up from his computer.

 

“I understand that Nick Stokes was admitted this afternoon.  I’m his work supervisor, would it be possible…”  Gil stopped because he remembered something…something that was very important.  “I’m his supervisor and I hold his medical proxy, actually for all my staff, in case of emergency.  Could you tell me what’s going on?”

 

“Okay, have you got proof?”

 

“No, not on me, but I could have it sent over.”

 

“I cannot tell you anything without it, except that ‘yes’, Nick Stokes is a patient in the unit.”

 

“Right.  Okay.”  Gil thought about arguing, but then thought while he was upsetting the staff he could get the proxy sent over and it would save tempers and, in the long run, probably time and wouldn’t get him excluded in the patient’s interest.

 

He stepped back from the desk and retrieved his cell from his pocket.  He started to scroll through his contact list and stopped when he saw Archie’s name…Archie was a good guy, he would do what he was asked without an argument.  Gil selected the number and pressed dial.

 

“Las Vegas crime lab.”

 

“Archie, it’s Gil Grissom…”

 

“…hi Gil.  I've got the report on the Casey case…

 

“…no, Archie, listen; this is not about a case.  I need you to do me an urgent errand, is that okay?”

 

“Of course; what?”

 

“In my office desk drawer, right hand bottom drawer, are my personnel files for the team.  I need you to get Nick’s file out and take out his medical proxy form that’s in there.  Then I want you to bring it to Desert Palm Hospital, sixth floor, as soon as you can.  Got that?”

 

“Yeah…is Nick…”

 

“Archie just do it and I’ll tell you what’s happened when you get here.  Okay?”

 

“Yes, is the drawer locked?”

 

“No.”

 

“I’ll be there just as soon as I can.  Bye.”

 

So far so good.

 

“There’s a waiting room just back there, and the doctor has just gone on her break, so there’s no one for you to speak to for a little while anyway.  There’s coffee in there.  I’ll tell the guy when he arrives...your name?”

 

“Gil Grissom.  Is Nick okay?”

 

“Gil, Nick’s in the best place for treatment.”  Billy was patient and Gil thought he was actually reassuring.

 

“Yes, yes, he is.  Thank you.”

 

Gil turned around and looked for the waiting room and went in…there were an elderly couple sitting on a couch.  The woman was crying.

 

Gil sat down as far away as he could from them and then spotted the coffee pot, so got up and helped himself to a cup of coffee and put a couple of sugars in it…he thought he might need it…he wouldn’t be leaving here very soon.

 

The wait seemed interminable as he watched every second and minute tick away…five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five minutes; the woman’s tears dried up but she was wringing her hands and sighing.  The man just sat there, staring into space.

 

The woman suddenly spoke and the man and Gil both jumped.  “My granddaughter…drugs…at a party…they said her brain’s dead…they’re waiting to switch her off, kill her…my daughter and her husband are up at Lake Tahoe celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary…and their daughter is dead.  She’s dead.  She’s dead.”  The man put his arm around her shoulders and they just sat there.

 

Gil’s scalp was prickling with nervousness and his gut was clenching.  What if that was Nick…what if all he could do was authorise them to switch off his life support?  What if Nick was dead?

 

Just then the door swung open and Archie stood there with an envelope in his hand.

 

Gil stood and without an exchange of words Gil took the envelope and walked out of the room, Archie at his heels.

 

He took the envelope to the desk and gave it the young man; Billy opened the envelope and looked at the document.

 

“I have to take an authenticated copy so I have to stamp and initial it...that okay?”

 

Gil nodded.  While Billy attended to his job, Gil turned to Archie.

 

“All I know…without being in possession of that document is that Nick was brought into the hospital yesterday afternoon by ambulance.  And that he’s now critically ill…I know nothing else.”

 

“Gil…look, I’m not going to say a word to anyone…I’m gonna go back to the lab and wait for you to tell people…but if you need anything…anything at all…let me know and I’ll try to help.”

 

Billy handed the envelope back to Gil and Gil gave it to Archie.  He took it back.

 

“Thanks Archie, I knew I’d called the right guy for the job.”

 

Archie smiled a little and patted Gil on his arm with the envelope and left.  He knew when he was intruding.

 

“Right, Dr Grissom...”  Billy had obviously scrutinised the medical proxy.  “...the Unit doctor on call, Dr Sharma, came back a few minutes ago and I told her you were here for Nick Stokes…she’s pleased about that because we haven’t been able to contact relatives or loved ones…so she’ll speak to you about your colleague.  Hold on.”

 

He picked up his phone and punched in three numbers.  “Janice…I have Nick Stokes’ medical proxy here, Dr Grissom…thanks.”

 

“A nurse will be out to collect you and walk you through the procedures; you need to be aware that Nick is in isolation and is being barrier nursed…that’s…”

 

“I know.”

 

“Good; here’s Janice.”

 

The nurse beckoned Gil to the secure door to the unit.  “Come on in, are you an MD?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay; you need to come with me.”  She took Gil into a room at the side of the entrance.

 

“Please take off your jacket and wash your hands over there…thoroughly please.  I need to know if you have had any infectious diseases in the last few months…colds; anything?”

 

“No, nothing; I’m healthy…as far as I know.”

 

“Have you been in contact with Nick recently?”

 

“Yes, last night…we work together…although I didn’t spend much time with him…but other members of my team were with him all night…look what’s he got…what’s wrong?  Are they at risk?  How’s Nick?”   Gil was getting panicky, he would freely admit it.

 

“Calm down…Dr Sharma will speak to you in a minute.  Now slip this on.”  Janice held up a pale blue coloured surgical gown, he’d worn them many times…in the morgue.  He slipped his arms in and she tied it at behind his neck and waist.

 

“Come on…before you can go in to see Nick you’ll have to wear shoe covers and a mask and gloves.  Are you allergic to latex, do you know?”

 

Gil smiled weakly at the irony.  “No, I’m not.”

 

He’d followed her back out into the corridor and to a nurses’ station in the centre of a hub of activity.  Lots of nurses and doctors and a few people, he supposed they were patients’ families, were mulling around.  There was room after room with glass walls and doors on to the corridors so that all the patients could be seen.  There was a lot of medical equipment on show around all these patients…they were the really sick ones.  Like Nick; he looked but couldn’t see him.

 

Just then a young woman came up to him.  “Dr Grissom, I am Dr Satya Sharma, I am Nick’s attending physician.  Please come with me.”

 

Gil walked with her to a small alcove with two chairs, behind a large board, giving the area some privacy.  He supposed a lot of people had sat in these chairs to be told a loved one was dead or dying.  His mouth had gone dry and he tried to lick his lips with a tongue that was stuck in his mouth.

 

“I understand you know nothing of Nick’s illness.”  Dr Sharma got straight to the point.

 

“Not a thing.”

 

“So; he called 911 at about two thirty this afternoon and complained of breathing difficulties.  An ambulance was despatched and the paramedics decided to bring him here…it’s good job they did because his condition deteriorated very quickly indeed.  Nick is critically ill and we’ve had to ventilate him to enable him to breathe…you understand?”

 

Gil was glad he was sitting because he was sure he would have fallen down; he nodded.


 

“But what’s wrong with him?”

 

“We had to wait a while for the test results and in the meantime we were treating him for a bacterial infection that had resulted in double pneumonia; but now we know he has bacterial pneumonia probably as a result of a viral infection...swine flu.”

 

“Swine flu?  Swine flu?”  Gil was astounded.  “He was fine last night…maybe a bit pale but I don’t think he was complaining of being sick…and now…just how sick is he?”

 

“Very sick.  We really do need to contact his family…loved ones…they should be here. But we also need to ensure the health of the people Nick has been in contact with for the last forty eight hours, at least.”

 

“Oh God.  Oh God.  Is he going to die?”  Gil felt suddenly utterly useless and utterly despairing.

 

“It is a possibility.  But, he’s a strong and, I think, a previously healthy young man, and we caught the pneumonia quite quickly so it should respond to the antibiotics and we’re giving him anti-viral medication for the swine flu.  Unfortunately, those meds can be a bit hit and miss, but he will fight it I’m sure, nevertheless he is very sick and the next twenty four hours are very critical.”

 

Gil pulled himself together.  “I understand.  I can contact his parents…they live in Texas.  I can contact the lab director and arrange for staff to be tested…for the labs to be sterilised…luckily we all work under strict conditions anyway…wearing gloves and lab coats.”

 

“What labs are you talking about?”

 

“Oh sorry.  The LVPD labs; Nick and I…we’re forensic investigators; crime scene investigators.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“Look, can I see Nick and then I’ll start the ball rolling.”

 

“Of course.  You understand that he is on a ventilator…a machine is breathing for him? He is also heavily sedated because of the ventilator and we are administering intravenous fluids and medication, and he is catheterised.  It can be quite daunting to see someone you…know…in these circumstances.  He is also being barrier nursed.  We, as a hospital, need to ensure the safety of our other patients, and the staff and visitors, so you will need to take measures for your own and our protection.”

 

“Janice explained.”

 

“Of course.  I’ll get Janice to take you into Nick.  Have you any questions?  We do need to form some plan for the staff at your labs to be tested.  We should see if there is the possibility of any problems.  It’s very virulent, but in almost all most cases very mild. Nick is unfortunate.”

 

“Yes.  I understand.  I need to see him.”

 

Dr Sharma called Janice over and Janice prepared Gil for his visit with Nick.  He was in a double sealed room at the end of the corridor away from other rooms. The first chamber was where the scrubs were put on and taken off before and after each visit.  He washed his hands again and was given a clean gown, a face mask, shoe covers and gloves.  She then took him through to Nick.

 

Another nurse was with Nick, monitoring his condition.

 

Gil was calmer now.  Nick was on a bed, in a semi-sitting position, surrounded by monitors and cables, just as Dr Sharma had explained but it wasn’t the sight that fazed Gil…it was the sound…the mechanical hiss of the machine as it pumped air into Nick and the mechanical sigh as it withdrew that air.  A steady rhythm almost as if Nick was sleeping and breathing himself, very evenly.

 

Gil watched his chest rise and fall.  There was a mouthpiece over his entire mouth and the air was pumped in via a plastic tube attached to a machine slightly behind Nick.  Two drips were attached to the back of his left hand and Gil watched the fast and even drip, drip, drip, of fluids into Nick.

 

He was almost mesmerised by the benign activity all around Nick.  All the activity but so little movement.  None at all from Nick...except his chest rising and falling.

 

“May I touch him?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Gil carefully approached the bedside and gently lifted Nick’s right hand and held it between his own gloved hands.  Nick was warm and his body totally relaxed and Gil knew that he was sedated but still he spoke. 

 

“Nick.  Nick.  It’s me…Gil…Gris.  I just wanted to say I’m here now…we’ll all be here for you now, so just concentrate on getting better.  Okay.  I have to go now, but I’ll be back soon.  I promise.”  He just stood there for a minute or two watching and listening; a contradiction…the quietest room he’d ever been in making the loudest sounds.

 

He put down Nick’s hand, turned and left the room.

 

When he’d shed all the scrubs from Nick’s room he had to put on another gown to walk through the CCU, they were talking no chances.  Gil left the ante-room and went straight to little alcove.  He sat and thought for a few moments and then retrieved his cell and after scrolling through his contacts selected the one he needed.  He sat a little longer, cell in hand, then pressed dial.

 

He waited until a groggy voice answered.

 

“Conrad, it’s Gil Grissom.  I have some bad news…are you wide awake?   Nick Stokes didn’t turn up for his shift and…..”  Gil related to Conrad Ecklie what had happened.

 

When he finished bringing Ecklie up to speed about Nick, he continued to outline ideas for protection and prevention of the spread of the virus at the lab, although he admitted it may be too late since Nick was at work the night before and would have been at his most infectious.

 

Ecklie had listened with patience.  He agreed with every one of Gil’s recommendation and said he would meet Gil back at the lab within the hour.

 

Gil, of course, had two onerous tasks.  To tell the lab staff just how sick Nick was and then tell his parents…maybe he should do it the other way round.

 

He ensured that he would be told if there was any change in Nick’s condition.  He’d told the Doctor that he would arrange for all of the lab’s staff to have their noses swabbed for the H1N1 virus…the hospital labs would do the testing but she was delighted at Gil’s proactive approach to the problem.

 

Her attitude perplexed him until he realised that most visitors wouldn’t have a clue about how to go about looking for a virus. 

 

Gil drove back to the lab as slowly as he could…the traffic had mostly disappeared and the journey was taking quicker than he wanted, he didn’t actually want to confront the issues.  He didn’t want to speak to Judge and Mrs Stokes.  He didn’t want to speak to the staff.  It would make it real if he did that.

 

When he walked through the lab the one person who tracked him was Archie and he nodded at him.  He’d almost reached his office when Catherine caught up with him, he hadn’t seen her and didn’t realise she was back from her scene.

 

“Hey, Gil, have you heard from Nick?”

 

He stopped and turned and faced her; his own face must have spoken volumes because she stopped dead in her tracks.

 

“What’s happened?  What’s happened to Nick?”

 

“Catherine, will you get everyone together for me, please?  The waiting room is probably the best place.  Nick’s very sick…”  Her eyes widened in disbelief and her mouth opened to speak but he held up a hand.  “I’ll explain to everyone in a few minutes but I have to phone his parents.  She nodded as he went onto his office but he noticed she didn’t move for a few moments.

 

Gil sat as his desk and opened his bottom right hand drawer and took out Nick’s personnel folder.  Archie had replaced the medical proxy form.  Gil looked through a few documents until he found the telephone number he was looking for.

 

He dialled the number without further thought…if he put it off now, he might never do it.

 

It was after one in the morning.  The Stokes’ would be in bed.  The phone rang out and went on and on… Gil was just about to put the receiver down when a voice answered.

 

“’Ello”

 

This was clearly not the Judge or his wife or any family member…he panicked momentarily in case he’d dialled the wrong number but he’d been careful and the display had confirmed it was the number in the file…maybe that was the wrong number.

 

“Hello.  I’m sorry to disturb you but I wanted to speak to Judge Stokes…urgently. Is this the right number?”

 

“It is the right number.  Who are you?”  The woman was heavily accented and Gil guessed she was Mexican.

 

“My name is Gil Grissom and I’m Nick Stokes’s supervisor in Las Vegas”

 

“Ah mi Dios.” She gasped.  “I am Maria, I am his nurse…”

 

“Of course, Maria; Nick’s mentioned you.” He knew Nick had, but couldn’t quite recall what Nick had said but he was sure it was something nice.  Nick said nice things about people and if he didn’t have anything nice to say, he kept his mouth shut.

 

But Gil needed to speak to the Judge.  “Maria, may I speak to Judge Stokes?”

 

“Is not possible at the moment, he, they are on vacation, on a cruise in Europe.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“They will not be back for several more weeks but I can e-mail them…you could e-mail them.  Signor Grissom, what is wrong with Nicky?”

 

“Maria, I shouldn’t really be telling you this but he’s very sick in the hospital…he has ‘swine flu’, but it’s hit him very badly, I’m afraid.”

 

“Madre de Dios!”

 

“I think I’d better e-mail his parents, do you have their e-mail address?”

 

“One moment please.”

 

A minute or two later she returned and gave the address to Gil.  He thanked her and promised to let her know how Nick was.  He didn’t elaborate on ‘very sick’.

 

He input the e-mail address and typed a short message to the Stokes’.

 

‘Judge and Mrs Stokes

 

Nick has been taken ill and is the Desert Palm hospital.  You do know that I have a medical proxy for him so am fully appraised of his condition and treatment.  However, I would be grateful if you could call me as soon as you possibly can.’

 

He listed his office, his cell, and his home numbers and for an added bonus Conrad Ecklie’s number…if all else failed.

 

He pressed send, but wondered how often a couple vacationing in Europe would check their e-mails…not often, he surmised.  If there was any deterioration, he huffed out loud, how could Nick be any worse, but if that happened he would have to take further steps to contact the…the ship, the holiday company…whatever.

 

He sat at his desk rubbing his forehead with his hand trying to smooth out the ache; he wasn't sure it was a headache, or just an ache.  Were they separate?

 

“Everyone’s ready Gil; Gil you okay?”  Catherine interrupted his quiet moment.

 

“Yeah.  I’m coming.”

 

Catherine waited for him and they walked to the large waiting room together and as he arrived at the door, he saw Ecklie.

 

“I’m just about to break the news, Conrad, you coming in?”

 

“Yeah.  I've spoken to the sheriff too; we need to keep an eye on damage limitation.”

 

Catherine looked horrified at Gil, who patted her arm to calm her.

 

He walked into the room with Catherine beside him, Ecklie behind him.

 

He looked around at their eager faces.  Only Archie looked really worried, and Catherine, of course.

 

“I’m not going to sugar coat this; Nick is very sick.”  He paused as there were murmurings and shocked looks around the room. “He was taken ill at home yesterday afternoon and admitted to the hospital where his condition has further deteriorated.  He is critically ill and at present he is unable to breathe on his own.”  There were gasps and Catherine put her hands up to her face.

 

“The reason you all need to be aware of this is because he’s been diagnosed with Swine Flu.”  There was a lot of chatter now.  “What I need to tell you is this…please…”  He raised his voice to quieten them.  “I have to tell you that Nick’s reaction to the virus is very, very, rare.  Most people have very mild symptoms and a few more have a serious bout of ‘flu.  So Nick’s reaction is actually extraordinarily rare for a fit and healthy person…it would be more likely for someone with underlying health problems.

 

“However, we are introducing some measures immediately to protect the health of the staff in the labs.  We will all give nasal swabs and the hospital will test for the virus.  I want us all to wear face masks in the lab for the next few days…the virus is airborne and virulent, and in truth we may be closing the stable door after the horse, but any measure may help in the long run.  It is imperative that you all follow strict rules for cleanliness…especially hand washing.  Luckily for us all we already adhere to such policies in regard to our work.

 

“Now I have Nick’s medical proxy and will be going back to the hospital shortly; I will keep you updated about his condition.  I have tried to contact his parents…they are vacationing in Europe.  Any questions?”

 

No one had a question since most of them were fully aware of the virus, its implications, and the need to be vigilant.  Most staff seemed to be more concerned about Nick’s health…he was well respected and even loved, among all of the staff.

 

“Conrad, I think you want to say something?”

 

“Yes.  Thanks.  I know we’re all worried about Nick, but what I have to do is ensure the safety of you all, this lab and all the staff.  I have arranged for a specialist cleaning company to come in and give the place what they call a ‘deep cleanse’. These people de-contaminated OR’s and…that sort of thing…they’ll be here at six…in about four, five hours…and the labs will be evacuated to enable them to use some kind of chemical in the air con system to clean that out.  They need one hour to facilitate that.  I think I join all of you in asking Gil to pass on our good wishes to Nick.”

 

Gil thought, ‘what a jackass…what part of ‘a machine doing your breathing for you’, didn’t he understand.’  But then Gil admonished himself for being mean spirited.

 

Wendy piped up.  “I’ll get the swabs underway; I can get a printout of all the people who work here I can tick people off as I swab them. I’ll do you first Mr Grissom and then you can get off to Nick.”

 

“I’ll help you, Wendy.”  Mandy added her support and then everyone was agreeing.

 

“Okay, okay…we don’t need too many people doing that…so if Wendy and Mandy take charge and use staff as they see fit.”  Gil had moved to the fore again to start the process.

 

“I don’t have to tell you, but I will remind you that with all these people coming to clean up we need to make sure all the evidence and all experiments, work, whatever, is secure…we don’t want to find out later that we’ve lost anything or that it’s contaminated.  Anything else?”

 

No one asked another question.

 

“Okay, just one last reminder…this virus is virulent but not…well, not usually, serious.”

 

The assembled staff gradually left the room, a few stopping to ask that Gil remember them to Nick, when he was conscious.  The mood was very subdued.

 

Wendy and Mandy started getting ready to do the swabs and Gil was the guinea pig and they learned from his experience to have a box of tissues at the ready.  Putting a swab up a nose had a tendency to make one sneeze.

 

When Gil got back to his office he tidied away all the files and work related detritus he kept around his desk and his office; he secured his tanks, his spiders would have enough oxygen for a day.  A few minutes into his task, Catherine and Warrick paid him a visit.  Catherine with a mug of coffee.

 

“Figured you might want one.”  She smiled as she put it down on his desk.  “Wow, I didn’t know you had a desk under all that stuff.”  She smiled at him and dropped down into a seat in front of his desk and Warrick took the other one.

 

“I think Nick is very, very, sick isn’t he?”  Catherine was serious now.

 

Gil nodded.

 

“What did they say, Gris?”  Warrick was solemn.

 

“Just what I said.  He’s young and strong and that’s in his favour but it’s going to be touch and go.  He was heavily sedated when I saw him and the machine was breathing for him, like I said.  He could…die.”

 

Warrick exhaled loudly.  “Jesus, Nick, way to go to shock us all.”

 

“I’m the one that he’s worked most closely with for three shifts and he was not on top form but he was nowhere near being sick enough for me to think he was…sick.  If I’d only known…”

 

“…what would you have done, Catherine?  I saw him leave work and he was okay and he actually called nine, nine, one himself, so he was functioning at that stage.  The doctor told me he deteriorated very quickly once he’d been admitted to the hospital.  We should be grateful that Nick realised and called…otherwise I think he would be dead.  He has a fighting chance.  Look I’m going back now…”

 

“…can I come with you?”

 

“No, Cath.”  But he spoke to her with a kindly voice.  “Go home to Lindsey; I’ll let you know…I’ll let you know when he improves.  I’m gonna be positive about this.”

 

“Man, you’re right.  We all need to think positive thoughts.”

 

Gil and Catherine looked at Warrick.  “I can be new age if it’ll help Nick.”

 

“Positivity.”  Gil spoke confidently.

 

“Positivity.”  Catherine and Warrick both repeated the word back.

 

Half an hour later Gil was on his way back to Desert Palm.  He rode the elevator up to the sixth floor and saw Billy still at his desk.  He was allowed in to put on his protective gown and then made his way to the room to do it again to get in and see Nick.  It was worth the trouble.  He watched Nick through the window, the rise and fall of his chest.  A bare chest, muscled and strong, but with wires attached to it; the machines recording the information flickering with coloured lines and blinking numbers.

 

The turquoise mouthpiece of the respirator covering Nick’s mouth like a grotesque clown’s mouth that had been painted, or stuck on his face, and Nick, oblivious to everything; he didn’t look as if he was fighting, he didn’t look as if he was involved in some heroic struggle to live.

 

He wasn’t struggling to hold onto his sanity like he had in Walter Gordon’s perspex casket.

 

But this was just as titanic a struggle as that...except Nick didn’t know.  Maybe that was a good thing; maybe not.

 

Gil wished he could tell him to keep fighting.  He hadn’t been able to tell him last time either.  But he’d survived.  He had.  He was a fighter; regardless of the circumstances he would fight and right now, Gil guessed, Nick’s auto-immune system was fighting the battle on Nick’s behalf.

 

When Gil was ready to go in a nurse opened the door to Nick’s isolated room.  Once again the mechanical breathing was what caught Gil's attention.

 

“How is he?”

 

“There’s been no change.”

 

“That’s good isn’t it...he hasn’t gotten any worse?”

 

“No, he hasn’t.”

 

“May I stay with him, a little while?”

 

“Sure, you know he’s sedated so he won’t be able to hear you, but I always think it’s nice to chat to patients anyway…I always tell them what I’m doing or bore them with tales of my boyfriend, you know, just in case they can hear.”

 

“Yes, I think that’s good.”

 

“Sit on the chair by him…hold his hand if you want to.”

 

“Hold his hand?”

 

“Yeah, sure; talk to him and touch him, so he knows he’s not alone.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The nurse, Debra, put a chair by the right side of Nick’s bed and Gil sat down and looked at Nick.  And then he looked at Nick’s hand.  Then he looked at Nick’s face again and the breathing apparatus.  And then he looked at Nick’s hand, again.

 

He sat there for a few minutes, at a loss as to whether he should touch Nick’s hand, or not.  He’d held it briefly on his first visit.

 

“I’m fairly certain he isn’t going to wake up suddenly and bite you; you can hold his hand you know.”

 

“Yes, of course.”  Gil felt stupid for hesitating and he lifted Nick’s right hand and held it between both of his gloved hands.  It was warm and dry…and lifeless.  Out of nowhere tears pricked Gil's eyes.

 

He swallowed and breathed out and sat up straighter in his seat…tears wouldn’t help anyone and besides Gil Grissom didn’t cry.   The moment passed and he didn’t cry.

 

“Hey, Nick, you wouldn’t believe the trouble you’re causing...got Conrad out of bed in the middle of the night.  We’ve got specialist cleaners coming in to fumigate…everyone’s being swabbed.  No idea where you got this from…and the speed of your infection, I think it’s taken everyone by surprise...”  Gil chuckled but it wasn’t funny.  “…but I bet you were the most surprised.  You did good, Nick, Nicky, calling for the paramedics.  Saved your life.  Everyone asked to be remembered to you…you’re a popular guy…everyone likes you.

 

“I tried to get in touch with your Mom and Dad, but they’re in Europe on vacation, I guess you know that…but Maria was very worried about you…I remember you speaking about Maria once…you said she used to make the sign of the cross when she saw you…ever since…you know…Gordon…Walter Gordon.  I shouldn’t have bought that up, should I, Catherine needs to be here really…except I’d rather it was me with you…I don’t know why.”  Gil thought, for a few moments, about what Nick had endured and then realised that he was actually stroking Nick’s hand and forearm.

 

“I’ve seen patients who’ve been deeply sedated who’ve remembered what people have said to then.  I think it helps Nick...and you.”  Debra smiled at him, or at least Gil thought she had behind her mask, because her eyes crinkled up with her laughter lines…a lot like Nick’s did.

 

Gil sat quietly for about an hour occasionally speaking about a case they’d solved, or hadn’t solved, ruminating on what they could have done differently.  What Gil was actually doing was speaking out loud his normal thoughts…this was what he mostly thought about when he was at home if he wasn't working on a paper or article.

 

When his eyes started to droop he thought he’d better go home and sleep…he would be no good to Nick or work if he couldn’t keep his eyes open.  He said goodbye to Nick and released his hand; he’d held it for the entire time of his visit and if he was honest with himself, it had given him a great deal of comfort.  He hoped Nick had been comforted too.

 

Gil went home to sleep but not before ensuring the hospital would call him if there was any change in Nick’s condition.  He would return to visit Nick before work that night.

 

When Gil arrived back at the hospital two hours before his shift, he found Catherine and Warrick waiting.  All the doctor had told them was that Nick remained ‘critical’ and that she wanted to speak to Gil Grissom.

 

It was the same doctor Gil had spoken to the night before and she was at the Nurses station.

 

“Dr Sharma…Gil Grissom?”

 

“Hello there…I've just this minute had Nick’s latest bloods back.  The results.”

 

“And?”

 

“Good…yes, they’re showing a decreased white cell count indicating the antibiotics are working on the infection.”

 

“I thought antibiotics didn’t work on viral infections?”

 

“No, they don’t, you’re right...but they’re working on the pneumonia…that’s what  caused the severe breathing difficulties, now that could be a result of the ‘flu or a coincidence…but I don’t believe in coincidences.”

 

“Neither do I.”

 

“If you remember, I said he had pneumonia when he was admitted…we got somewhat sidetracked when he was positive for H1N1, but it is the pneumonia that is making him so sick.  Has he a weakness…is he asthmatic, do you know?”

 

“Not that I’m aware of…no, I’m, sure I’d know if he was.”

 

“Maybe he was prone to infection as a child and grew out of it…that happens.  Have you heard from his parents?”

 

“No, but I wouldn’t expect them to be regularly checking their e-mails while on vacation.  But you say he’s better?”

 

“Yes.  Definitely.  He is still heavily sedated but if he continues to improve we will gradually bring him to consciousness to see if he can breathe on his own, being on the vent doesn’t help get rid of the pneumonia...even though it’s breathing for him.”

 

“His friends are here to see him, may they go in?”

 

“No.  I would prefer it if his visitors are kept to an absolute minimum.  They told me they work with Nick and they could well be infected with H1N1…I believe your lab has finished taking all the swabs but our lab is still working on them.”

 

“But I’ve been in to see him and I could be infected.”

 

“I know, but it would be wrong to deny one visitor access and besides you’ve been in already so if there’s any damage it’s already been done.”

 

“I suppose you’re right.  I’ll go tell them…they’ll be disappointed.”

 

“It’s for the greater good.”  She laughed and Gil smiled, they both obviously felt better about Nick’s condition than they had twelve or fifteen hours ago.

 

“So what did she say, Gil?”  Catherine was agitated.

 

“He’s a bit better.  He’s responding to the antibiotics.”

 

“Oh, thank God.”

 

“He’s not out of the woods yet, Catherine.  And, she doesn’t want either of you going in to see him, the less chance of further infection, the better.”

 

“I suppose that makes sense…and I know he’s unconscious but I wanted to show the dude we were here for him.”  Warrick was philosophical.

 

“I know what you mean.”  Gil was about to tell them that he’d spent time talking to Nick, but then decided he wanted to keep that a secret between him and Nick; he had no idea why.

 

“You can go in with him though can’t you?”  Catherine sounded worried.

 

“Yes, since he’s already been exposed to me she said that was okay.”

 

“That’s good I wouldn’t want to think of him alone all the time.”

 

“He’s never alone, there’s a nurse with him all the time.”

 

“But that’s not like having someone you know with you.  Are his parents on their way?”

 

“Not that I know...they’re in Europe.”

 

“Just when you need them.”  Catherine was exasperated now.

 

“To be honest I don’t think he’d be expecting them...he’s had a bit of a…well, you know, families.”

 

“What, Warrick?  What?”  Gil was quite fascinated with Catherine’s changing mannerisms; now she was agitated.

 

“I can’t say, okay. It’s Nick’s business…sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

 

“You two get on your way…I’ll go and visit with Nick and update you at the lab later.”

 

So Nick has had a falling out with his family.  Anyone in particular, Gil wondered, or just his father or his mother…or both.   Gil hadn’t been that taken with either parent when he’d met them after Nick’s abduction.  His father was overbearing and his mother seemed to Gil to be cold and oddly distant.

 

And that’s when he suddenly remembered what Nick had said about Maria, his nurse…that she was his ‘Mom’ really.  That made sense.  Youngest child and Gil bet not a planned family addition, after five, or was it six, other children.

 

He’d call Maria when he got to work.

 

Gil sat and talked to Nick for over an hour and once more found that he enjoyed the comfort of holding and stroking, almost massaging Nick’s hand…so strong and yet so totally relaxed.

 

At work he called Maria and gave her the news; she hadn’t heard from the Judge and Mrs Stokes and she wanted to know if she should contact Nick’s brother, Daniel.  Gil agreed that that was probably a good idea and gave Maria his phone numbers to pass onto Dan Stokes.

 

Dan Stokes…Gil had never heard Nick mention him at all.

 

Just as Gil stood to go and hand out assignments, his desk phone rang and he picked it up.

 

“Grissom.”

 

“Mr Grissom?”   A think Texan drawl asked.  “This is Dan Stokes.  I'm calling about my brother.”

 

“Oh yes, thank you for getting back to me so quickly…I’m sorry about not getting hold of your parents…”

 

“…I don’t think it would be a good thing at the moment what with tempers so raw…”  He didn’t elaborate and Gil hesitated momentarily.

 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t know there were any issues, but surely…I mean Nick is very sick…”

 

“How sick?”

 

“Well, he’s a little better now but his condition is critical…he has double pneumonia and is unable to breathe on his own…he’s on a respirator.”

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

Gil was damned if he was going to speak again. Dan Stokes didn’t appear to be that bothered; Nick was a good and kind man...and on first telephone impressions he didn’t think the same could be said for his brother.

 

“If I leave my number will you update me tomorrow…I mean, if he’s getting better we probably don’t have to bother the folks.”

 

“I have already e-mailed them.”

 

“I think it’s unlikely they’ll check their e-mails…they’re having too much fun.”  Dan must have realised he sounded callous because he continued.  “But I can call them tomorrow and update them.”

 

“Right; I’ll leave it in your hands then.  Number?”

 

Dan gave him his landline and cell numbers.

 

“Thanks, I’ll update you tomorrow.”  Gil put the phone down before Dan could speak again because he couldn’t bear to speak to him for another minute.  Nick was his brother…the fucking asshole.

 

He picked up his notes and left his office.  He’d already been assaulted by staff wanting information about Nick as he’d arrived at work, so most now knew there had been a slight improvement.  The atmosphere seemed a little less tense.  Gil was halfway to the briefing room when he realised he’d forgotten to put his face mask on, so had to go back.

 

There was a hell of a lot of work to get through during the night; a murder covered up with arson; a fight with stab wounds that could still prove to be fatal.  And two cops had gone down with Swine flu.  Neither man could be linked to Nick, but they were investigating if there was any common link; although their real work took up most of the night and half of the morning.

 

They caught a break and found the arsonist and the stab victim rallied, so at eleven in the morning, fifteen hours since he’d left Nick, Gil found his weary way back to the sixth floor at Desert Palm.

 

No Billy, no Janice and no Dr Sharma or Debra.  A complete shift change.  The Doctor was busy and unable to speak to Gil, so he kitted himself out and went into Nick’s room.  The first thing he noticed was that Nick was moving, only slightly, but he was moving.  His shoulders shrugged, just minutely and his legs twitched, just perceptibly.

 

The nurse looked as he went to the bedside.  Her badge said she was ‘Gena’.

 

“I’m Gil Grissom; he seems to be less unconscious than he was.”

 

The nurse’s eyebrows rose.  “Yes, that’s right.  Not many people would have noticed, but we are very gradually reducing the sedative to see how he responds.”

 

“His pneumonia is responding to the drugs then?”

 

“Yes, his fever is down and his sats are up.  Do you know…?”

 

“…yes, I do, thanks.  It’s good news.”

 

“Very.  I think by this time tomorrow we may be in a position to see if he can breathe unaided, but you’ll need to check that with the doctor, when he’s finished in the other room.”

 

“I will, thank you.  I’ll stay a while if that’s okay, but I’ve been working a night shift so I may drop off to sleep.”

 

“Don’t worry, just you being here is good for Nick and the bleeping will lull you to sleep anyway, so go with the flow.”

 

“I’m pretty sure you’re right.”  Gil chuckled; he felt so much better knowing there had been some more improvement in Nick’s condition.

 

He pulled up the chair and sat down, taking Nick right hand into his own.  It seemed so easy to do it and it gave him comfort and he hoped that Nick would feel it too.

 

“Nick, another shift over and a really busy one too.  Everyone sends their love and they all want to visit with you, but I’m the only the one that’s been allowed in, so far, because of the possibility of cross infection.  Two uniforms have gone sick with Swine flu, but as far as we know they’ve not been in contact with you, so they’re looking if there’s any common denominator.  Neither man is very ill.

 

“We’ve all been swabbed and are awaiting the verdict.  It could be that someone has the virus and no symptoms, we don’t know. 

 

“We had an arson last night and found two bodies in the rubble…usual thing; they thought burning the scene would put us off the scent.  Thank goodness we’re one step ahead.  Well, we are at the moment but I worry about these TV shows giving the criminals the inside information.  Though I suspect most of them are not bright enough to catch on.

 

“Oh.”

 

 

The hand Gil was holding twitched in his own hand.  He felt ridiculously happy.

 

“His hand moved in mine, only a little, but it moved.”

 

“Good; I bet he can hear you on some level.  I like to think so.”

 

“Debra said that too.”

 

“Because we’ve seen it time after time, even in the most critical patients.  It makes it all worthwhile.  And you know even if the patient dies, it’s as if they’ve heard their loved ones speaking to them.  It’s good.”

 

Gil wished she hadn’t mentioned ‘death’, but there again, like him, and Nick, she had to deal with it and it probably held no mystery for her.

 

Gil suddenly sat up, he’d been asleep and he knew he’d drooled on his chin, but it was beneath his face mask.  He didn’t know what had woken him.  Gena was sitting across the room filling in a chart.

 

“Hi.  You’ve been snoring.”  She laughed.

 

“I’m so sorry.”

 

“Don’t be, they were quiet little snores probably because your chin was resting on you chest.  I bet you have a crick in your neck.”

 

“I have.”  Gil could feel his stiff neck.  “How long have I been asleep?”

 

“About an hour and a half.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, no problemo.  The doc hasn’t been in yet.”

 

“Do you know how long he’ll be because I should go home and sleep, I have to work again tonight…and I would like to be here when you bring Nick back to consciousness?

 

“Stay here; don’t move, if anything happens press the panic button.  I’ll see what’s happening.”

 

“Okay.”  It was only after she’d gone that Gil thought she really shouldn’t have left the room, but then Nick was stable.  Nevertheless he watched Nick, the instruments and the clock for eleven agonisingly slow minutes before he caught sight of her, and a man, going through the preparations to enter Nick’s room.

 

“Dr Grissom?  I’m Mike Stanford, duty resident.  Nick’s made some good progress these last twenty four hours.  He’s very stable and I think Gena’s told you we’re bringing him back to consciousness very gradually.  We don’t want to overload his system and if he shows any distress we’ll sedate him again.  Not much more to report.  We need to take it easy and see how it goes.”

 

“I understand.  I would like to be here when he regains consciousness.  Do you think he will, once the sedatives are withdrawn completely?”

 

“I think he will because he’s shown some activity. That is a good sign, if he was comatose other than by drugs, he would be unlikely to show those signs.”

 

“Yes, I've seen the slight movements.”

 

“Of course, we can only withdraw the sedative, when he wakes up will be up to him; you should prepare yourself that he may not be able to breathe unaided and we may have to sedate and intubate again.  But it will be better for him if we can get him off the ventilator.”

 

“So if I come here tomorrow morning after work it could have happened or it could be longer?”

 

“Yeah, ‘fraid so.  Not an exact science.  It usually takes about twenty four hours, but it could be sooner or later.”

 

“I understand.  I will be here anyway, as soon as I can make it.”

 

“Good, I’m sure he’ll appreciate a friendly face.”

 

In fact, as the time approached for the end of shift the next day Gil packed his stuff away and he called Catherine and told her he was leaving early and that she would have to take up any slack.  She did point put that he wasn’t leaving early, he was actually leaving on time.

 

He made good time back to the hospital and was greeted like an old friend by the staff who already recognised him.

 

When he found his way into the Nick ante-room to prepare to enter Nick’s sterile room he noticed two nurses hanging over Nick’s bed...they looked as if they were speaking to him, but he could only see not hear what was going on, but Nick was moving.  As Gil watched the interaction he suddenly realised that he appeared agitated and the nurses were trying to calm him.

 

He could help, he knew he could.  He finished washing his hands and put the sterile kit on as quickly as he could, and then went into the room.

 

“...try and keep still and calm.  We’ll take it out it a few minutes when the doctor gets here...”  One nurse was telling Nick.

 

“...please Nick, just try and calm down the machine will breathe for you.”  The second nurse was trying her best too, but Nick did seem unduly agitated, though his eyes were still closed.

 

“Can I help?  Let me try, please.”  Gil moved to stand beside the nurse and she nodded and moved back allowing him to get close to Nick.

 

But Nick had calmed down in those few moments, it was clear to all three that he had already heard Gil, his head had moved, slightly, towards Gil’s voice.

 

“Nick.  It’s Gil, Gris.”  Gil took his left hand into his own, latex covered hands, but was careful because the cannula was attached in the back of that hand.  “Nick, I think you can hear me.  You’ve been sick and you’ve been on a ventilator for a couple of days, it’s the breathing tube in your mouth and throat, but you are getting better and they’re probably going to take it out.  But you have to be able to breathe on your own, so you just need to relax and let the machine breath for you for another couple of minutes and then you’ll be okay, I’m sure you will.  Do you understand?”

 

Nick had lain perfectly still while Gil was talking, his head slightly inclined towards Gil.  As Gil asked the question he nodded...just a little...but a definite nod. And then gradually he opened his eyes, squinting in the bright light of the room.  He seemed unfocussed and his eyes looked dull, but they were trying to open and stay open.   And then Nick squeezed Gil’s hand and Gil squeezed it back, probably far too tightly.

 

“Welcome back, Nick...welcome back.”  Gil would have hugged him if he could; he had an almost overwhelming desire to take care of Nick.  He wanted to know why his parent’s weren’t flying to his bedside.  He wanted to know why Daniel Stokes didn’t appear to give a fuck.  But in reality he didn’t care; he’d take their place and he would give a fuck.

 

One of the nurses patted Gil on the back and he smiled at her even though she couldn’t see, but they both knew that they were both smiling.

 

Gil looked down at Nick again and gave his hand another gentler squeeze.  “You did really good, Nick.  You called the paramedics to your home and they got you here just in time.”

 

Nick nodded again but had closed his eyes.

 

“You have double pneumonia, but you’re responding to treatment.  You were intubated because you got sicker after you were brought into the ER and now you’re in the intensive care unit, I think it used to be called that, it’s called something else now.”

 

Gil stopped talking, he really didn’t want to say to Nick that it was now called the Critical Care Unit, even though Nick must know he’s been very sick; is still very sick.

 

Gil’s thoughts were interrupted by Dr Sharma as she breezed into the room.  “Dr Grissom?  Patient’s doing a lot better than when we last spoke, isn’t he?  I’m going to ease the tube out now and see how he goes for a few minutes.  If necessary I can reintroduce it and sedate him again.”  She then spoke to the nurse.  “Has Nick exhibited any awareness?”

 

“Oh, yes.  He was agitated, but Dr Grissom calmed him down and he’s opened his eyes briefly.  He appeared to understand what he was told.”

 

“Great news.  Please stand back, Dr Grissom.  Hi Nick, I’m Satya Sharma and I’ve been your attending for a couple of days.  We’re going to lower the bed and I’m gonna take the tube out.  I want you to cough it out, if you can, and don’t worry we’ll put the bed straight back up because you will breathe more easily sitting up.  Try and breathe normally, and please try and be calm, if you can’t catch your breath we’ll put it straight back in to help you again.  Okay?”

 

Nick did his little nod again.

 

“Excellent Nick.   You’re doing really great.”

 

One nurse then used the bed control to lower the bed flat and the other nurse supported Nick’s head as she removed his two pillows.  The other nurse then moved in and removed the tape from the mouthpiece of the ventilator. They’d done this before, Gil mused.

 

Dr Sharma went to the head of the bed.  “Cough, Nick.”  And in a second the tube was out. 

 

Nick gagged as the tube was pulled out and then he started gasping.  But he was breathing.  The bed was being raised again and his pillows were back behind his head and an oxygen mask was placed over his mouth and nose and the elastic put around his head to hold it in place.

 

The whole procedure had taken a lot less than a minute.  Although Nick’s chest was rising and falling erratically Gil could see that he was gradually getting a rhythm back. 

 

Gil watched as he concentrated as hard as his still drugged state would let him and the two nurses and the doctor all stood, almost holding their own breath while they waited to see if Nick could breathe and sustain the momentum.  Gil wasn’t in the least worried, he knew how tenacious Nick was and he was right to be optimistic.  Within about two minutes Nick was breathing almost normally.

 

He was wheezing though, quite alarmingly, and Gil’s euphoria at the removal of the ventilator was replaced with concern for the sound of Nick’s breathing.  He didn’t want to question the doctor in front of Nick, but this was something new to worry about.

 

”Nick?  You feel better now that’s been removed?  Don’t talk, just nod.”  Gil was trying to calm his own concerns.  The doctor then jumped in with her own instructions.

 

“I’m going to explain some things and ask you some questions, Nick.  And like Dr Grissom just said, don’t talk, just try and nod yes, or shake no.  Can you do that?”

 

Nick nodded a small yes.

 

“Great, Nick.  Now, You were on the vent, because you have double pneumonia, but you’re responding very well to treatment and by taking you off the vent, it’s better for your lungs, you need to cough and clear them, a natural act, but one that is suppressed by the vent and can actually hinder your recovery, do you understand?”

 

He nodded.

 

“You are fit and healthy and that has helped you a great deal, but are you asthmatic?”

 

Nick shook his head a little.

 

“No one at your work...”  She stopped because Nick was becoming a little agitated and waved his hand at her and then went to take his mask off...

 

“No.  Please leave...”  Before she could continue he beckoned Gil to get closer.

 

Gil bent over the bed and put his ear to the oxygen mask; he could hear the soft hiss of the oxygen being delivered to Nick.  He heard the croaking voice of Nick through the air and plastic.

 

 “Asthboy...asthboy...”  Nick’s energy gave out and closed his eyes taking deep breaths.  

 

Gil stood up and puzzled over what he thought he’d heard Nick say and then he had it. “You had asthma as a boy?”

 

Nick’s eyes crinkled into a smile and Gil grabbed his hand, unable to contain the joy he felt at seeing those very familiar dimples.  They only increased as he squeezed Nick’s hand.

 

“I mentioned that earlier.”  The doctor said to no one in particular but was obviously pleased that her conjecture was right.  “Now Nick, all I really want to say is that you need to rest and let us take care of you.  The drugs will only work if you give them a chance.  Your improvement has been excellent and I want to see that continue, so do as you’re told.  Okay?”  She smiled at him and he nodded and to Gil he seemed so much better than he’d been just minutes ago.  But his eyes started to droop almost immediately. 

 

“I’ll leave you to get some rest, but the nurse will stay with you for at least another twelve hours and then we’ll see about downgrading your status.”

 

Gil looked at her and she must have noticed his eyes questioning her. 

 

“From critical...”  She said and Gil nodded his understanding.

 

The doctor and the extra nurse left the room and left Gena and himself.

 

Gena gently shook Nick’s arm and smiled when he looked at her.  “Sorry, just a little more and then you can rest.  You’re being fed and watered intravenously...” she lifted his hand so he could see and he nodded.  “...but you should try and drink as much as you can because it will help you.  You have a catheter collecting your urine...” Nick’s forehead wrinkled.  “Yeah, I know, but that can come out in twelve hours if you behave yourself.  Do you need to use the bedpan?”  Nick shook his head.  “That’s it then.  Back to sleep and I promise you’ll feel much better when you wake again.”

 

Gil had moved to the right side of the bed, and was holding Nick’s hand again.  He noticed and went to put it down but Nick clung onto it, quite strongly. 

 

“Okay, Nick, okay.  I’ll stay a little while.  Let me get a chair.”  Gil felt ridiculously happy.  He should phone Catherine and let her know about Nick, but for now he was going to stay with Nick.

 

He settled into the chair and Nick put his hand out for it to be held.  Gil took it between his own gloved hands and sat there.  All was quiet for about thirty seconds and then Nick started to cough.

 

And cough.

 

Gil stood back as Gena bent Nick forward and placed a pillow on his lap, she had to take off the mask.  She put an oxygen cannula on his nose and supported him as he coughed, vomiting a little at the effort.  Gil held a dish for him and gave him tissues, which he filled with sputum.  And as suddenly as it began, it calmed and stopped, but if Nick was tired before he was exhausted now, his brow sodden with sweat and his eyes hollow and dull.  

 

Gena tidied him up again and wiped his face and hands and gave him sips of water to swill around his mouth.  She replaced the mask after cleaning it and checked his oxygen saturation levels.

 

“They’ve dropped a little Nick, so I want you to lie still and breathe as normally as you can and I’ll check again in a few minutes.

 

Nick eyebrows and brow gave a look to Gena that both she and Gil interpreted as, ‘what the hell do you think I’m trying to do?’

 

“I know, Nick, I know.”  Gena laughed and Nick relaxed and closed his eyes, but not before moving his head, wearily, towards Gil and looking at him.

 

The look caused two things to happen to Gil.  He breathing hitched up a notch and his lower abdomen and balls and dick were flooded with heat.

 

Gil stared at Nick, now asleep.  Could he dare to hope?  The look?  Gil shook his head and looked at the floor.  For God’s sake man, pull yourself together and don’t delude yourself.  He’s alone here and you’re offering him some comfort, that’s all; he was at death’s door last night and you’re reading ridiculous notions into a glance from a very sick man.  You old fool.

 

Gena whispered to him.  “You okay?  You just sighed.”

 

“Fine.  Just relieved I think.”  He nodded.  Yes, that was it.

 

“You were great a few minutes ago, some people run a mile when vomit and sputum are around.  Are you going to look after him when he’s discharged?”

 

“Me?”  Gil nearly squealed and then coughed to hide his embarrassment.  Gena chuckled.  “No, I imagine his family will take him back to Texas.”

 

“The family that have been at his beside constantly?”  She asked; but it was rhetorical and Gil knew that she didn’t want an answer.  He shrugged.

 

 

Next part of story - H1N1