Previous part of story - H1N1.

Gil slept once again at Nick’s bedside and woke himself up with a snore.  There was a different nurse with Nick.   He name badge said she was ‘Natalie’ and she spoke first.

 

“You are going to do some serious damage to your back and neck, you should go home to sleep, Gena said you work nights and it’s two in the afternoon.  Nick’s condition is stable and he’s woken a couple of times and taken sips of juice.  He told me not to wake you.”

 

“He was able to speak?”

 

“No, not really, but indicated that I shouldn’t wake you...are you always so literal?”

 

He smiled beneath his mask as he rubbed his already sore neck.  “Yes.”

 

“So I can wake him and you can say bye, and then go off to sleep.  Deal?

 

“Is it okay to wake him?”

 

“Yes.  Deal?”

 

“Deal.”

 

Natalie gently shook Nick’s shoulder and within a half a minute he was awake, if still drowsy and she nodded across at Gil.  Nick looked over to him and smiled through his mask, but his dimples and eyes made up for his disguised mouth.

 

“Hello, Nick.  Natalie here says my snoring kept you awake.”

 

Nick nodded and rolled his eyes.  Gil leaned onto the bed and before he could stop himself he’d pushed some stray hair off Nick’s forehead.  The moment he did it he almost froze but Nick lifted his hand up and touched Gil’s forearm with his knuckles, giving it a little rub, and he spoke through the mask.  Gil leaned further over and put his ear to the mask and Nick spoke again.

 

“Kept me company.”

 

“I did?  I hope I didn’t keep you from sleeping.”

 

He shook his head and said something else and once again Gil leaned over.

 

“Feel a lot better.  Go home to bed.”

 

This time Gil nodded.  “Natalie’s told me to go.  So I will.  But I will be back before shift.  I promise.”  And this time he took Nick’s right hand between his own and squeezed it, just gently.  Nick squeezed back...just a little.  And Gil felt his spirits soar at the certain knowledge that Nick would be okay.

 

“Thank Natalie.  See you later.”  He told Nick, and then left to remove all his barrier clothing.  He hoped it wouldn’t be needed for much longer. 

As he walked along and out of the CCU he heard his name called and turned to see the doctor, Mike Stanford, waving a piece of paper at him.

 

“The H1N1 results for your staff.”

 

“Great.  Can you let me know?”

 

“I’ve just been speaking to the legal department about that and we reckon you’re a special case so I will give you the names.  There are two people with the virus but in both cases the results show the infection is under control and it’s likely they’ve had little or even no symptoms.  Nick was just plain unlucky.

 

“Yes.  So?”

 

“So?  The names...”  He peered at the paper.  “Catherine Willows and Bobby Dawson.”

 

Gil was surprised.  Neither of them had complained they were ill, or even felt ill, as far as he knew, certainly not Catherine.

 

“To my knowledge neither of them has been ill at all.  I will tell them...what do they have to do?”

 

“Nothing.  If they’re okay, it may be prudent to test them again in a couple of weeks.  They should wear face masks until they’re tested again.  And, it’s may be worth mentioning that Nick could have given them swine flu if they should be inclined to feel guilty.”

 

Gil chuckled.  “Now that piece of information I will use.  Catherine will be beside herself with guilt.  Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.  Bye.”  Before Gil could respond he’d turned on his heels and was gone.  Gil continued to chuckle.  He would definitely need to say that to Catherine.

 

He was making his way to his truck in the car lot when he realised he hadn’t told anyone of Nick’s progress.  He felt guilty for leaving Catherine, especially, out of the loop for so long.  He climbed into his boiling hot vehicle and set the air con running on freezing and then called.

 

There was no answer, so he left a message, and for Warrick too.  He called Ecklie who was in his office and related the good news.

 

Relieved for the first time in three days he made his way home, showered and fell into bed with his stomach rumbling, but he was just too tired to eat.   He fell asleep thinking of Nick rubbing his arm with his knuckles; he had an erection and he was just too tired to do anything about either.

 

When he visited Nick before work, his back was aching and his neck was stiff but he felt on top of the world.  As he looked through the window into the isolation ward, Nick lifted his arm to wave and Gil saw that the oxygen mask had been replaced by the oxygen cannula in his nose.  He was very obviously a lot better and it had only been about six hours since Gil had last seen him.

 

Gil quickly prepared to go into the room and Nick watched him.

 

When he went in Nick smiled and held out his hand.  Gil walked as if on air to the bedside and grasped the proffered hand with both of his own.

 

“Nick, you are so much better. It’s astonishing.”  Gil was genuinely pleased because Nick was undoubtedly more alert but as he spoke he could see how pale and sick Nick did look.  He looked as if he’d lost a great deal of weight already, his cheeks sunken and his eyes hollow.  He had dark shadows around his eyes and they were dull, he looked as if he could sleep for a week.

 

Gil shook himself, slightly, to get out of that mindset.  Nick was ventilated and unable to breathe on his own a matter of hours ago.  This was a major improvement.

 

But the smile that Nick gave him was genuine and he spoke.  “Hey.”  His voice was weak and croaky and he was still wheezing.

 

“Nick.  God, I don’t know what to say, you had me worried back there.”

 

“I was worried.  I knew you were here, Gris.”  His voice almost gave way on the Gris.

 

“Don’t talk.  Rest.  That’s what the doctor said, remember?”

 

He wrinkled his brow.  And the nodded and smiled again.  “How long can you stay?”

 

“I should stay about fifteen minutes I need to get to work, but I can stay longer if you want me to.”

 

Nick smiled again.  “I do want you to stay, but I’m only going to go to sleep.”  Nick’s voice was quickly disappearing. 

 

Gil pulled the chair over and sat down.  “Don’t speak any more.  It’s okay to go to sleep, you need to rest.  Have they told you what started this all off?”

 

Nick mouthed, ‘swine flu’.  Gil smiled and nodded. 

“We’ve all been swabbed at the lab, and are wearing face masks until we get the all clear, and the place was fumigated.  A couple of cops have it but no one thinks you came into contact with them, so we don’t know, maybe when you’re better you can give some thought to it.  But don’t worry about it Nick.  It’s over.”

 

The moment he said the two fucking words he could have kicked himself.  They were the wholly inadequate words he’d said to Nick the night Kelly Gordon killed herself.

 

If Nick noticed the words he made no acknowledgement.  But then Gil ridiculed himself for his behaviour.  Nick was seriously, if no longer critically, ill.  Drugged, fighting for survival and Gil was worried he would notice him saying the two words he’d used before.

 

One thing Gil was absolutely certain of: he needed to get a grip.  A grip of his feelings and behaviour towards Nick.  He couldn’t afford to lose his friendship, such as it was.  He’d made it abundantly clear over the years that he thought less of Nick than he did of all the others, and yet the reverse was true.  He’d coveted Nick from the moment he’d seen the very young man, half frightened out of his wits on the day he joined the lab.

 

And yet here he was sitting at his bedside being a caring supervisor.  He was a bastard and the knowledge made him feel sick.

 

He looked up and found Nick staring at him.  “You need to get to work.”  Nick’s voice was hardly there.

 

“I know.  As much as I want to stay and keep you company.  There’s work to do.  I’ll come by after shift.  Rest up and follow orders.”  He smiled at Nick.

 

“Yes, Sir.”  Nick solemn agreement suddenly reminded Gil that he needed to phone his brother, Dan, and let him know that Nick was out of danger.  See if he cared.  He also had to break the Swine flu news to Bobby and Catherine.  Bobby would be fine he was sure, but Catherine?  He’d see.

 

Gil stood and touched Nick’s arm again, though he was a little less comfortable doing it than when Nick was unconscious.  But Nick obviously wanted him too and smiled up at him.

 

“Thank you.  You know I think I remember you doing that when I was unconscious.  Did you?”

 

Gil looked up and nodded.  “Yes, all the nurses said it would help.”

 

“It did.  I didn’t let go.”

 

Gil couldn’t speak.  What did he mean by that?  “I've got to go, but I’ll be back.  Okay?”

 

“Not okay yet, but I will be.”  Nick whispered weakly as his voice was about to disappear.

 

Gil smiled and nodded and left.  When he’d taken off his scrubs and put on the clean scrubs to walk along the corridor, he looked through the glass and Nick was watching him.  He had to fight the urge to blow him a kiss but managed a wave and smile.

 

By the time he got to his truck he was worrying about Catherine.  But there was nothing he could do about it, except remember what the doctor had told him and hope she realised that it could be the truth.

 

In the lab, Gil saw Bobby first and told him.  He was surprised, but then said his daughter had been sick after getting an infection as school, two weeks ago, now.  She hadn’t been to a doctor or been tested, she wasn’t sick enough, she’d only needed one day off school.  And then a few days later he and his partner had both had similar mild symptoms.

 

“If I bought the virus into the lab and Nick got sick because of me then I’m mighty sorry.  I guess I’d better be nice to him and do all his tests first from now on.”

 

Gil chuckled; that was about all he could do.  But he bet that Bobby was the cause of the infection, since his daughter had been sick first.  “I think the rest of us won’t be able to argue with that, but we’ll never know for certain if it was you.  One other person is infected, too.  But thanks Bobby and I’ll tell Nick to make sure he collects.”

 

“Tell him there’s a meal in it for him.  Jonathan’s a mean cook of Tex-Mex.”

 

“I’ll tell him.”

 

Bobby went back to work.  At assignments he told them all about Nick’s improvement, handed out their work and asked to see Catherine in his office.

 

She came into his office and lowered herself into a chair.  “I feel better for knowing he’s better.  You saw him; you were really worried weren’t you?”

 

“I was.  I still am; he’s much better but I won’t be satisfied until he leaves hospital.”

 

She smiled.  “You’ve got a soft spot for Nicky, haven’t you?  Oh, I know you’ve been hard on him...harder than anyone else, but I think that’s because you see something in him, something extra.”  She smiled at him, because she knew he was squirming, just minutely.  Because Catherine had hit the proverbial nail on the head.

 

Gil’s first, uncharitable, thought at her accurate observation was to wipe the smile off her face.

 

“You’re positive for H1N1.”  The moment he’d blurted it out he felt guilty and ashamed of himself and immediately softened the blow.  “But the doctor said it’s very possible that Nick gave it to you and not what you think...”  He was alarmed at her appearance, the colour had drained from her face and she looked sick.  “...are you okay?  Catherine?”  He spoke more sharply to get her attention.

 

“It was me who made him so sick.”  She whispered and it wasn’t a question.

 

“Did you hear what I just said?  The doctor said it was could as easily have been Nick who gave you the virus and not the other way round.  You can’t beat yourself up, you, we, will never know, and another person was infected too.  It could have been him...in fact from what he said I think it’s more likely.”

 

“But I worked with him the most.”  Tears were threatening and Gil was momentarily panic stricken.  Catherine never cried.

 

“And that means he could equally have given it to you.”

 

“I haven’t been ill.  I haven’t felt ill.  Oh God, Gil.”

 

“It’s over and we can’t change anything.”

 

“What if he’d died?”

 

“He didn’t.  He won’t.”  Gil was becoming agitated.   “Catherine, Cath, there’s nothing we can do about it now, it’s over...”  Gil closed his eyes and took a deep breath...those fucking words again.

 

“I guess.  But...I’m not going to forget this in a hurry am I?”

 

“No.  But Nick won’t think it was your fault, will he?  It isn’t anyone’s fault, it’s a virus.”

 

“Yeah.  Yeah.  I’d better get going, one man down.”  She smiled, wanly, but at least appeared to have recovered a little.  “Did the other person, beat themselves up?”

 

“No.”

 

“No.  No point.  It’s just a shock.”

  

“Yes.”

 

She got up and left the office and Gil breathed a sigh of relief.  So did everyone know he had a soft spot for Nick?  Good job they only thought it was a soft spot.  There had been times in the early days when he had a hard spot for Nick.  He chuckled to himself.

 

Gil’s work was definitely suffering.  His in-tray was twice the pile it normally was, but he figured he was owed.  For years he’d given time to the lab and he probably would again in the future but getting to see Nick was more important to him now.  It wasn’t his problem if they were always short staffed and under funded; maybe if the work didn’t get done they’d realise that without his willingness to work unpaid they would be in a bigger mess that they already were.

 

So, at the very end of his shift, and not two minutes later, he left with a very nearly clear conscience and drove over to Desert Palm.

 

Dr Sharma was at the nurses’ station and he spoke to her.

 

“Good morning Doctor.  How’s Nick Stokes?”

 

“Dr Grissom!  We were just saying how much better he is...it makes such a difference to recovery when a person is normally fit and healthy.  You’ll notice a difference just from last night.”

 

Gil smiled.  “That’s good.  How much longer will he be in isolation?”

 

She laughed.  “We’ve been discussing that, too.  We think we’re going to keep him in there until he’s discharged; we don’t want to take any unnecessary risks with any other patients because of the underlying Swine flu.  But with his progress he’s likely to be discharged in two or three days.”

 

“That soon?”  Gil was surprised when he’d been so sick just days ago.

 

“Yes.  That’s the difference previous good health makes to recovery.”

 

“Thank you.  Thank you for all you’ve done.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Gil made his way towards Nick’s room and then stopped still as he remembered something.  He hadn’t called the Stokes’ family, not even Maria.  On the other hand they hadn’t contacted him either.  He decided he’d better call them after he’d visited with Nick.

 

When he walked into the ante-room to get ready he looked through the window into Nick’s room and he appeared to be chatting quite animatedly with Gena.  He glanced at the window and when he saw Gil he broke into a grin and put his hand up.  There was no denying he still looked pale and he had lost weight, but the transformation in twelve hours was amazing.

 

Gil grinned back but also found his eyes tearing up.  Nick was going to be okay.  He busied himself getting ready and blew his nose, admonishing himself for his ridiculous display of emotion.  He didn’t think Nick had seen him.  He hoped he hadn’t.

 

As he moved into the room, Nick spoke.  “Hey there, you okay?”  His voice was weaker than normal but the Texan timbre was there.

 

“I’m fine.  It’s you we’re concerned about.”

 

“Well...I’ve been better, but I feel a hundred percent better than yesterday.”

 

“You look it.”

 

“Thanks.”  He then spluttered and started coughing and for several minutes succumbed to the wracking coughs, making him gag and catch his breath.  Gil helped the nurse deal with him and then he was calm again, as suddenly as it had started.

 

“Okay, so I’m not out of the woods yet...”  His voice was much weaker, but he was chuckling as he spoke.   “...but I do feel better

 

“You look much better.”

 

“Good job you don’t mind bodily fluids, what with the sputum and all...”

 

Gil laughed.  “You’re right.”

 

“I've got to stay in this room until I’m discharged but that could be as soon as two days and the nurses don’t stay with anymore and they’re going to get a TV for me.”

 

The information tumbled out of Nick and Gil smiled.

 

“Gris?  Why hasn’t anyone else visited me?”  He sounded a little hurt.

 

“They have.  But they weren’t allowed in, only me.  Everyone is thinking of you and sends their best wishes.  I should have told you that, I’m sorry.”

 

“That’s okay then.”  Nick brightened up.  “I’m glad it’s you who visited me because I think you’re sensible...Catherine would be over me like a rash wanting to mother me.”

 

“Ah, which reminds me.  I got in touch with your family...”

 

“...really?”  Nick was surprised.  “Why did you do that, you’re my medical proxy.”

 

Gil was stumped.  “They’re your family?”

 

“Not so you’d notice.  Have they been sitting at my bedside?”

 

Gil didn’t reply.  He had absolutely no idea what to say, so said the first thing that came into his mind.  “I need to phone Dan again.”

 

“Dan?   You spoke to my brother?”  There was no mistaking Nick’s incredulity even with his weakened voice.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Did he ask you to pray for my soul?”

 

“Errr...no.”  Gil was really out of his depth here.

 

“I’m surprised.  When my name is mentioned he usually starts quoting the scriptures.”

 

Gil couldn’t say anything.  Dan had certainly been distant and appeared not to give a damn about Nick, but he hadn’t been downright hostile.  Nevertheless, Gil hadn’t called back and he hadn’t heard from Dan or Nick’s parents and he would have expected to do so, given the circumstances.  There was obviously a lot more going on than he knew about.  And, as a naturally curious man, he wouldn’t mind knowing exactly what the goings on, were.

 

Nick was quiet for a few minutes and Gil thought about the whole situation.

 

“Gris?  Would you, could you do me a big favour?”

 

“Of course, just name it.”  Gil was surprised that he meant it too, since he’d never been big on favours when he realised what they might entail.

 

“Well no one can visit me but I could get calls and call out.  Could you, please, go by my house and get my cell and charger?”

 

“Of course I can.  Did you bring your keys with you?”

 

“Yeah...well the paramedic did, he locked up for me.”

 

“I’ll go and get it now and you can use it straightaway...”

 

“...I didn’t mean straightaway, tonight would be okay.”

 

“No, I’ll go get it now and then you’ll be able to use it today.”

 

“Okay.  Thanks.”

 

Gil reckoned he could do the chore in under an hour and it would give Nick some freedom, there was no phone in his room; generally speaking, he supposed, critically sick patients didn’t make calls.

 

Gil sat in his truck waiting for it to cool down.  He needed to speak to Dan Stokes before he made his errand.

 

He scrolled down and found his number and pressed call.  There was no reply, but he would probably be out at work; since this was the only number Gil had, he left a short message.  Saying that Nick had made excellent progress and would probably be discharged in a few days.  And goodbye and good riddance.  He didn’t say those words but he felt like saying them.

 

He made good time to Nick’s house and remembered to wave to the old lady sitting in the window of the house opposite; after all she’d saved him a lot of trouble by noticing what had happened.

 

Gil opened the front door and his nostrils were immediately assaulted by an acrid smell.  Gil knew exactly what it was.  Vomit.   

 

He opened the patio doors from the living room onto Nick’s yard.  It would let in some much needed fresh air for the short time he’d be there, but he couldn’t help noticing just how neat and tidy and ecologically sound the yard was.  He smiled to himself.  It fitted Nick like a favourite tee-shirt.

 

He then went in search of the vomit and found it in the bedroom on the comforter, on the floor and on and around the toilet in his bathroom.

 

He opened the curtains and the windows and stripped the bedding off and took in downstairs.  He was happy to find the same make of washing machine as his own so soon had the wash started.  He then looked around for cleaning material and a bucket, all neatly tucked away in the utility room.

 

He spent ten minutes cleaning the floor and toilet and satisfied the place smelled a whole lot better he found the cell and charger and was just about to leave when he decide to check the fridge...no good keeping things cold if they were past their best.

 

He took away some salad and out of date yoghurt and then decided to check Nick’s bin.  When he found that half full he took the bag out and took it away with him to dispose of at his home.

 

Finally satisfied that the place smelled better and was cleaner than when he’d arrived he left and went straight back to Nick.  It was nearly two hours later when he sat down by Nick’s bedside.  Nick was fast asleep snoring and wheezing...but with more colour in his face than Gil had seen since...it seemed forever, but it was four days.

 

Gil didn’t wake him.  He left his cell, plugged into it’s charger on a newly arrived bedside cabinet and left a note on a sticky note provided by the nurse.

 

Nick. See you later. G...and he had to stop himself putting a cross, as a kiss, on the note.

 

He went home and slept well, he was very tired, as usual, but a great deal more relaxed about Nick.

 

 

He visited him again on his way to work. This time Nick’s nasal cannula delivering oxygen had been removed and he didn’t have a nurse with him and he had a TV.  But Gil still had to wear the barrier clothing to prevent any spread of Swine flu.  He’d listened to the radio as he’d driven into the hospital and hysteria was reaching fever pitch, though people had died, in the majority of cases they stressed that they’d already had underlying health issues.

 

In fact, Nick too, had some issues; he’d been asthmatic as a child. 

 

“Hey Nick.  All alone now?”

 

“Yeah, all tubes removed, a TV installed, man, it’s home from home.”  He laughed and coughed, but even his cough was better.

 

“You look and sound a lot better.”

 

“I know.  They’re very pleased with me and say I could go home tomorrow.  Can’t believe how quick I went downhill, but man I came back up the hill quick too.”

 

“You did.”  Gil smiled at Nick.

 

“I cannot wait to get out of this goldfish bowl.  At least I can fart now I’m on my own.”

 

At Gil’s incredulous look Nick added. “When I am on my own...I won’t inflict that on you!”

 

“I can’t tell you how relieved I am by that.”

 

“Me too.”

 

At Gil’s quizzical look he added.  “At being able to fart...relieved...”  Nick looked at Gil as if he was thick at not getting the reference but then they both burst out laughing and Nick started coughing again.  Harder than before and Gil stood and rubbed his back as he’d seen the nurses do and gave him tissues.

 

He calmed down after a few minutes and said, weakly.  “Serves me right for thinking I was better.”

 

“You are better, believe me.”  Nick nodded.  “I've got to go, Nick, work is sending out it’s siren call.”

 

“Okay.  Look there’s no need to disrupt your schedule I’ll be okay tomorrow, you needn’t visit with me.”

 

At Gil’s hurt look, obviously conveyed through his eyes, Nick smiled a little.  “Okay then, come and see me.”  And then smiled one of his dimple making smiles that Gil hadn’t seen for a long time.  And it was just for Gil. 

 

“See you tomorrow, after shift.”

 

“Yeah, man, see you.”  Just as Gil opened the door to leave Nick called out to him.  “Hey, Gris, thanks for getting my cell for me.  You should have woken me up.”

 

“No, you were getting your beauty sleep.”  Even in jest, Gil really shouldn’t have said it.

 

“Like Sleeping Beauty?”  Nick asked and he sounded as if he was almost being serious.

 

“Yes.”  And then Gil fled and ripped his gown off and put on a new one at the speed of light and without looking back.

 

By the time he’d rushed to his truck he was sweating, breathing heavily and mortally embarrassed.  Was it a joke?  Nick’s manner didn’t seem as if he meant it as a joke.  Dear God.  He was pretty certain that he was an imbecile and that Nick would realise that...sooner rather than later.

 

He blasted the truck’s air con on freeze all the way to the lab and was shivering as he pulled to a stop.  He really could do with a shower; he was clammy from his previous perspiration.  He had a change of clothes in the back so he got the duffel bag out and went straight to the locker room and happened to hear the end of a conversation.

 

Warrick was sitting on the bench, his cell glued to his ear.  “...then why don’t you just tell him, dude, you’ve got nothing to lo...shitttt...  I’ll call you back.”

 

“Tell?  Me?”  Gil questioned him.  Warrick had form for unintentionally dropping Nick right up to his eyeballs in shit and the moment he’d asked his two simple questions he knew two things.  He was the subject matter of the call and the call was being made to Nick.  Poor old Warrick could not lie.

 

“It’s not for me to say, Grissom.”  He was clearly wriggling and Gil bought to mind the fishing expeditions with his father when he was very young.  The bait wriggling on the end of the line.

 

“No.  But it was me and you were talking to Nick.”  He didn’t phrase it as a question and all Warrick could do was shrug and mumble something.  He would owe Nick again and they both knew it.

 

Gil shook his head as if he was censuring Warrick but it truth he was feeling sorry for Nick, who couldn’t rely of his best friend to keep his secrets, whatever they were.

 

In the shower he stood under the scalding water.  The water was always hot and the supply limitless and he was tempted to stay there longer than he should.  He kept seeing the image of Nick and hearing his question.  ‘Like Sleeping Beauty?’  Did Nick know?

 

He was tempted to masturbate, but the work shower didn’t seem the right place and his dick didn’t seem all that enthused anyway.  He dried off, his hair curlier than usual, dressed, packed his old clothes up and made his way to his office.

 

His phone was flashing with a message.  He pressed play and the Southern drawl of Dan Stokes assaulted his ears.

 

‘Thank you, Mr Grissom, for leaving the message.  Good news about Nick and now I’m thankful that I didn’t disturb my parents on their vacation.  It would have been needless.’

 

Gil was dumbstruck at the tone of the call and the message he’d left; he played it again, and then once more.  There was no relief, no hint of compassion, no fucking anything in the message.  He pressed delete.  If he never heard from Dan Stokes again it would be too soon.

 

And right there and then he knew that when he visited Nick in the morning after shift...he’d ask him.  What is it with your family?  And...  What exactly is it that Warrick thinks you should tell me?

 

The only good thing about Dan Stokes’ message was that Gil was so fired up he made great inroads into ridding himself of his pile of files.  Word had quickly got around that he was in no mood for interruptions and he was left to work in peace.

 

Gil left the lab very nearly on time again.  He could get used to having the extra time...although he was filling it with Nick, nothing else.  But he was worth it.  Every minute.

 

When he arrived in the ante-room he could see Dr Sharma, Gena and Nick all engrossed in a conversation.  They didn’t notice him getting ready.  Nick looked annoyed and as if he was arguing, but Gil really couldn’t believe that that was true.  Nick was the least argumentative man he’d ever met.

 

After a few minutes Nick suddenly noticed him but instead of looking happy he started talking to the Doctor again and seemed to be doing so quite forcefully...Gil was trying to read his lips but he was moving his head too much.  But he did catch one thing...’I don’t want him to know...’

 

Really?  Now there was no way Gil could ignore this.  Something was going on and he was determined to step into the room, whether he was wanted...or not.

 

“Hello.  What’s going on?”  Nick took the opportunity to have a coughing fit.  Gena helped him and Dr Sharma stood there, her arms clasped defensively over her chest.

 

“Nick doesn’t want you to know, but he’s being completely unreasonable about a medical matter and I feel that as his proxy you have a right to know.”

 

Nick recovered from his coughing and looked plaintively from the Doctor to Gil.

 

“Nick.  So you tell me.  It can’t be that bad.”

 

Nick lay back against his pillow and closed his eyes and sighed.  “They won’t discharge me after they promised they would.”

 

To Gil’s surprise Gena burst out laughing.  “Well that’s a half truth if ever I heard one.  Tell him the whole story.  Come on.”  She coaxed him.  Dr Sharma waited.

 

“Nick?”

 

“They said they’d discharge me and then said that I needed someone at home to care for me or I couldn’t go home.  My sister Rachel can come but she needs a couple of days to sort everything out, so they won’t let me out.  I can look after myself; I’ll be fine.  I looked after myself enough to call the paramedics didn’t I?”  Gil smiled beneath his mask, Nick sounded like a petulant schoolboy.

 

“They’re perfectly right to do so, Nick.”

 

“Aww...not you too?”

 

“Yes.  But unlike them I have the solution.  I can move in with you and take care of you and when I’m not there we can get a home nurse to come over.  I think your medical insurance will cover it.”

 

Gena was laughing again.  “There you are, perfect.”

 

“It isn’t.”  Nick was not having it at all.  “He’s my boss; I can’t expect him to look after me.”

 

“Now I’m insulted; why ever not?”

 

“Because you’re my boss.  It would be...embarrassing.”

 

“I’ve already cleared up your vomit and wiped your sputum away.  I’m not squeamish and we’re both men, if you’re worried about any other bodily...excretions.  So I really don’t know what the fuss is about.”

 

“Nor me.  It’s perfect and you could go home today.”  Dr Sharma dangled the biggest carrot.

 

“Your choice, Nick.  Stay here until your sister gets here...and hope she will help you when you cough and will be able to clear up any vomit and how about helping you to the bathroom?  You’d like your sister to do that?”  Gil was on to a winner.  He knew.

 

The three of them looked at Nick.

 

“Okay.  Okay.”

 

“How easy was that?”  Gena had loved the little play.

 

“I’ll go get everything ready.”

 

“Thank you, Doctor.”  Gil was savouring his victory as Nick tried to look annoyed but couldn’t.   

 

When they were alone, Gil spoke again.  “What was all that about?”

 

“Nothing, I guess.”

 

“I don’t believe that.  But first of all, you look so much better and I’m really pleased that you’re being discharged. 

 

“I will do my utmost to take care of you without getting in your way.  You probably are capable of looking after yourself, but you will tire very easily and you do need someone to be around, just in case.  I can’t take any more shocks; I’ve had enough for the foreseeable future.”

 

“What you said about getting a nurse to help me, is that right?”

 

“Yes.  LVPD have good medical insurance.  I can sort that out.  But there’s something else...”

 

Nick groaned.  “Warrick.”

 

“Yes, Warrick.  He has an uncanny knack of dropping you right in the shit.  So what is it that Warrick ordered you to tell me?”

 

Nick looked at Gil and Gil could see the worry in his face and the tug of war he was having about whether to tell him or not.

 

“Just tell me.”

 

Nick took a big breath and closed his eyes and spoke.  “I’m gay.”

 

Gil was really pleased that Nick had closed his eyes because Gil’s own eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.  He recovered quickly and made a leap from Nick’s disclosure to his family problems.

 

“So this is why relations with your family are strained?”

 

“Yeah.  But not exactly.”

 

Gil waited expectantly and Nick looked at him and sighed.  “Pull up a chair, why don’t you.”

 

“I will.”  When he was settled he looked at Nick.  “I’m sitting comfortably, you may begin.”

 

Nick rolled his eyes.  “They’ve known I was gay, since just before I left Dallas.  They didn’t force me out, but they were far happier with me being gay in another state than on their back doorstep.  And everything’s been fine for years until last Easter, you remember I took leave?”

 

Gil nodded.

 

“I wanted to go home, but for the first time ever, I wanted to take my boyfriend with me... and they had a conniption fit.  Didn’t want me flaunting my homosexuality in front of the family and the children.  Dan was the worst...I’m about to burn in the fires of hell...and he will definitely look on me being sick as divine retribution, he’ll probably think it’s AIDS and...”

 

“God, Nick.  Your boyfriend, does he know, should I contact him?”

 

“Richie?  Nooo...I was madly in love with him at Easter.  By Fourth of July he was boring me half to death and I’d dumped him before Labour Day.  I was really seeing how it would be with the family.  I guess I got my answer.”

 

“Oh.  But your sister accepts it?  Gil was pleased about the boyfriend.

 

“Rachel and Alison are okay, the other three aren’t as bad as Dan, but...  You’re not mad at me are you?”

 

“No, why?”

 

“Being gay and not telling you?”

 

“It’s never affected your work so why...” Gil stopped.  “What about Kristy Hop...”

 

“Man, she was hot.  I was...lonely.”

 

“Horny, more like it.”

 

Nick laughed, he’d never heard Gil speak like that in all the years he’d known him. “I’ve had girls, but I prefer men.  One of the reasons Momma was so upset.  If I did like girls...you know...”

 

“No, I don’t.  My mother was completely accepting.”

 

“You’re lucky, no one escapes the...what did your Mother accept?”

 

“Me.  Being gay.”

 

“No!  Goddamnit, I owe Warrick...”  Nick stopped himself.

 

“That’s your payback on Warrick.  He thought I was and you didn’t?  What’s with your gaydar?”

 

“It’s never been any good.”  He thought for a moment.  “Hold on, what about your gaydar?”

 

“Up and running.”

 

“You knew...”  Nick started coughing again and for a few minutes Gil soothed him.  When he finally lay back on the pillows he was exhausted.  He rested for a few minutes and then in a much weaker voice started again.  “You knew about me?”

 

“Shall we say that I strongly suspected.  I never had any evidence and there was Kristy.  But even gay men...bi men, can succumb to the charms of a decent pair of breasts.”

 

“Why didn’t you say?”

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

“Man, do not answer a question with a question, you’re always doing that.”

 

“No one’s business but mine.  Some people know, Jim.  Sofia.”

 

”Sara?”

 

“No.”

 

“I’m not surprised, it’d break her heart.”

 

“And Warrick knows about you, and guessed about me?  How much do you owe him?”

 

“A hundred bucks.”

 

“He’s not supposed to be gambling.  Just how many sisters have you?” Gil was thinking back to what Nick had said about his family...two girls accepting and three others not as bad as Dan.  That’s a big family.

 

“Five and just the one brother...and that’s...”

 

“...enough?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They both sat quietly for a few minutes.  Then Nick suddenly remembered something.

 

“I haven’t got any clothes to go home in...I was sick over the stuff I came in with and I think they tossed them.”

 

“Okay.  A plan.  I’ll speak to the doctor and see when you can go home.  Go to my place and pack stuff for a few days and then go to your place and collect some clothes...jeans, tee?”

 

“Yeah...just look in drawers in my bedroom you’ll find them...oh shit.”

 

“What?”

 

“I think I was sick...”

 

“You were...all cleaned up...and I washed your bedding which, incidentally, I left in your machine...I might wash it again.”

 

“You got someone in?”

 

“Of course not.  It only took me a few minutes.”

 

“I owe you, thanks.  But gay men like doing house work.”  Nick chuckled.

 

“Don’t push your luck.”

 

“I won’t.  Promise.”

 

“I’m off, and don’t tell Warrick anything, I’ll deal with him.”

 

“Okay.  Boss.”  He smiled, but it was weaker than it had been, he was worn out from talking too much and he thought that he could look after himself.  Gil smiled back and he would swear that Nick was asleep before he turned away from him.

 

When Gil left Nick’s room he felt happier than he’d done for years.

 

Gil checked with the doctor and confirmed that Nick could be released as soon as he got back with his clothes.  It was with a light step and a lighter heart that he made his way to his truck.

 

But then of course, he wouldn’t be Gil Grissom if he didn’t start analysing and over-thinking what had happened.

 

By the time he’d stopped at his second red light he’d lost the light feeling to be replaced by a cloud of doom and gloom.  What had happened?  Not much.  Nick had told him he was gay.  And Gil had told him that he was gay.  There was no declaration of undying love to each other...no reason whatsoever to indicate that there was any change in their relationship, which was, as Nick had clearly said, one of boss and employee. 

 

Gil was being ridiculous.  Just because he’d lusted after the guy for years didn’t mean that Nick did the same for him.  All Nick saw was a colleague, a boss, an older man.  Who also just happened to be gay.  It was more than ridiculous, he’d made sweeping assumptions based on his own fantasies.  That he’d take care of Nick and end up in his bed, fucking him.

 

Nick was just grateful that Gil would be able to provide the get out of the hospital early card, nothing more.  A loud honk of a horn brought him back to the present and he drove off.

 

At his house he packed a bag with sufficient supplies for three days, if he did need to stay longer he could come back for more.  He also called the medical insurance company and asked about a nurse to visit Nick.  It was agreed in principle over the phone and Gil said he’d call back later that day with precise details of Nick’s needs.  Gil could probably arrange quite comprehensive care so that he wouldn’t have to spend much time with Nick.

 

He drove on to Nick’s house and found all the necessary clothes in the most tidy and organised drawers, he’d ever seen.  It made him smile.  He re-washed the bedclothes that he’d left in the washer and had forgotten.  He glanced outside Nick’s kitchen window and saw a clothes line.  He knew Nick would be ecologically sound and not use the drier.  It was odd that he knew so many little things about Nick.  But what did Nick know about him?

 

As he drove back to the hospital, in a mood far removed from his earlier happiness, he thought about what Nick did know about him.  Probably quite a lot.  That was because there wasn’t that much to know.  He was immersed in his entomology, both at work and at home, and it was his play too.  Cockroach racing.  They all knew he loved crosswords, they bought him books of them for Christmas, (for which he was always grateful).  They knew he loved classical music.   He liked baseball.  Yeah, they all knew that too.  And at least Warrick had guessed he was gay.  What else was there?

 

His gregarious social life?  None existent.  His numerous affairs and exciting sex life?  None existent. 

 

They perceived him as a man of mystery.  He was not.  It was a myth he did nothing to dispel but there was nothing mysterious about him, he just hadn’t got anything to be mysterious about.

 

He had managed to make himself as depressed as he’d been for a long time about his lot in life.  He made his way to the CCU and hoped that the sight of Nick would cheer him up, but he suspected it would just make him feel worse.

 

When he reached the room to put on the gown he looked through the window and Nick was sitting on the side of the bed.  He looked pale and very thin...his legs dangling over the side of the bed, he must have sensed Gil watching him because he turned and looked so happy to see him that he waved quite enthusiastically.  The tears that had threatened before sprang unbidden to Gil’s eyes.  He swallowed them down and castigated himself for his own behaviour and thoughts.

 

As he put all the protective clothing on for the last time, (he hoped) he thought what a selfish bastard he was.  Years of living alone and only having himself to please and then when something came his way, if he couldn’t have his own way, then he would sulk.  He did it as a child...an only child.  And here he was again forty-five, fifty, years later still doing the same.

 

Why couldn’t he just accept Nick as a friend and be grateful?  He’d never socialised with Nick, mostly out of fear of giving away his lustful thoughts towards him and now he was thinking about how he could get out of his promise to care for him, for just a few days.  He really was a mean spirited bastard.  He wanted Nick alright; he just didn’t deserve him.

 

He walked into the room with Nick’s clothes.  Nick didn’t jump from the bed but his whole demeanour was one of almost boyish enthusiasm and Gil couldn’t help but feel a little better.  He would take care of him.  He wasn’t an adolescent with screaming hormones.  He was...  He was...

 

A lonely middle aged man. 

 

“I’ve been waiting for you for hours, what took you so long?”

 

“I had to...”

 

“...I was only joking; you took just about as long as I figured you would.  I’m just itching to get out of here.”

 

“I understand.  They’ve left a wheelchair for you in the ante-room and we just have to collect the paper work and prescriptions for you.  We can get them filled downstairs.”

 

“Okay.” 

 

Nick undid the gown and just pulled it straight off, he was stark naked beneath it and Gil’s eyes couldn’t help but look him over.  He’d undoubtedly lost weight but he was still muscled and a wonderful specimen of manhood.  Gil thought it was probably twenty, twenty–five years since he’d been ripped...okay, not ripped.

 

“What you chuckling about?”

 

“My age, Nick.  I was quite well muscled once...but it’s been years, too long.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Thanks.  Don’t act so surprised.”

 

“No, man, I didn’t mean it like that!”  Nick laughed.  “I can see you carry a bit of extra padding but I know you’re strong, I’ve seen you manhandle evidence that I would find difficult to move.”

 

“Yes.  I agree with that assessment.  I am overweight but I am quite physically strong.”

 

Nick had pulled a tee on and his underpants and socks, but he sat down and was wheezing quite heavily.

 

“Have they spoken to you about your asthma?”

 

“Dr Sharma said that I was probably left with a weakness that the Swine flu attacked, probably causing the double pneumonia.  I haven’t had an attack since I was about twelve.  Just stopped.  She said it might come back, but I’ve got to be patient and wait it out.  One of the prescriptions will be for an inhaler.”

 

Nick sat still, obviously thinking about something.

 

“It’s not going to affect my job, is it?”

 

“No.  You may have to go for a check-up with the LVPD doc, but that’ll be for H1N1 virus I would think.  I don’t know to be honest.  I’ll make some enquiries.  When we get back to your house I must phone the insurers up and tell them exactly what nursing support we need for you.”  

 

“Do you think I’ll need a nurse?”

 

“I have to go to work, we’re one man down.”  Gil raised his eyebrows at Nick and Nick nodded his understanding.  “So perhaps a night duty nurse.  I don’t think you should be left alone for at least a few days.”

 

“Maybe you’re right.”

 

“I’m not always right.  You know that.”

 

“No.  True.”  Nick smiled again and made a renewed effort to dress, managing his jeans and both shoes before he needed another rest but there was only a hoodie to go and Gil picked it up and helped push it over Nick’s head, as he pulled it down.

 

“I’m ready.  I’ve got nothing to pack.  The hospital gave me all disposable stuff to use.  Let’s go!  And I need a face mask; Gena said they’re in the ante-room.”

 

“They are.”

 

It took them forty-five minutes to do all the chores; say goodbyes, get papers and drugs and get Nick to the truck.  He was seriously tired by the time they arrived by the passenger door.  He wouldn’t have made it at all without the wheelchair. 

 

“I’ll get you settled, get the air con fired up and take the chair back.  Okay?”

 

“Yeah.”  He sounded weak and Gil supported him around the waist as he moved from the chair to the passenger seat.   He took his mask off.  “Are you okay with this...you might catch it.”

 

“I think I'd have it by now, anyway I was negative for infection.”

 

“You were tested?”

 

“We all were at the lab.  I thought I'd told you.  But two people were positive.”

 

“You didn’t tell me.  So who were they?”

 

Gil thought for a moment but then decided they wouldn’t mind him knowing.

 

“Bobby and Catherine.”

 

“Catherine?  Shit.  She’ll be beating herself up about it.”

 

“Exactly that, but in fact you could have given it to her.”  Nick looked surprised at that statement. “I’m just taking the chair back.”  He’d started the cool air for Nick.

 

He came back about ten minutes later and Nick looked as if he was asleep but he was alert as soon as Gil opened the door.

 

“You know, I think I got it from Bobby.  He was complaining he felt sick about...I don’t know, three weeks ago?  He wasn’t that bad, he just thought he was coming down with something.  We were working that Baker case together and spent hours checking the guns and ammo.  I bet I gave it to Catherine.  Has she been sick?”

 

Gil took a deep breath.  “No.  Not at all, she says. That’s exactly my conclusion after speaking to them both.  I think Bobby realises too.  Said there’s meal in it for you with Jonathan cooking Tex-Mex and that he’ll put all your cases on top of the pile.”

 

“Good old Bobby.  I’ll take him up on the meal, Jonathan is a great cook.”

 

Gil looked across at Nick and smiled.

 

“What?”

 

“No recriminations?”

 

“No, man!  You can’t help being sick, he had no idea what would happen, and I’m going to be okay.”

 

Without thinking Gil patted Nick’s leg and smiled at him.

 

Nick smiled, almost slyly back and looked at Gil through his eyelashes and Gil’s breath caught in his throat...Nick was definitely being flirtatious.  He wasn’t that stupid, he knew that look anywhere...

 

 

Gil gulped in some of the cool air and started on the journey to Nick’s home.  He didn’t speak and in a few blocks Nick was properly asleep, his head lolling from side to side with the momentum of the truck.  He awoke with a start when the truck pulled up outside his house.

 

He smiled at his home.  “I missed it.  Thanks for cleaning up the mess.”

 

“You’re welcome.  It was no bother.  We’ll get you settled and the first thing we’ve got to do is order some food...I shop on-line so I can do it and you can add the foodstuffs you want.  I got the fresh food from my house earlier, so we have some milk, juice, cheese, bread and a little fruit that I had at home.  We won’t starve, but they usually deliver within a couple of hours.  I threw all your old foodstuffs out. ”

 

“You’ve thought of everything.”

 

“I don’t know if I have, but it’s all commonsense really.  I need to make up your bed with fresh bed linen.  Anyway, come on let’s get you in.”

 

“Yeah.  Home sweet home.”

 

“Are you a home boy?”

 

“Yeah, I am.  What’s wrong with that?”  But Nick’s indignation was playful.

 

“Nothing.  Nothing at all.”

 

“Okay then.”

 

Nick made his way slowly to his front door, obviously much more exhausted than he was willing to concede.  But just before he went through the door he turned around and waved to someone.  Gil turned to look and it was the elderly woman whom Gil had waved to before; she’d seen him taken away by the paramedics.

 

“That’s Margarita, she doesn’t miss a trick, better than an alarm and a guard dog together.”

 

Gil waved too.  “I know.  She saw you taken away in the ambulance and told her daughter, who came out to me when I came looking for you.”

 

“You came looking for me?”  Nick seemed taken aback.

 

“Yes.  I’m your supervisor and you didn’t show up for work and it wasn’t like you to not to let us know.  I stood right here and contemplated using the enforcer on the door.”

 

“You didn’t, man, the damage.”

 

“I didn’t.  Nick, do you think you should go in the house, we can’t spend hours out here discussing what did or didn’t happen.”

 

He grinned and moved into the house.  He looked around, but didn’t speak.

 

“First of all, you go sit down.  Do you want a drink?”

 

“A mug of tea.  Strong, not much milk and half a spoon of sugar.  What?”

 

“Specifics.  Orders.”

 

“I’ve been real sick.  You gotta look after me.”  Nick looked so young as he gave his excuses to Gil that Gil laughed.

 

“One tea coming up.  I’ll put the kettle on to boil.”

 

In twenty-five minutes Nick was on his couch wrapped in a blanket, nursing his hot tea. The bed was made and the washing hung on the line and Gil was setting up his laptop to order the food.

 

Gil made the grocery order and it promised a two hour turnaround.  He just hoped they fulfilled their promise, because ordering the food had made Gil hungry; he turned to Nick to tell him just in time to see Nick falling asleep and the mug about to fall and spill the remains of the tea on his blanket.  His movement to catch the mug caused Nick to wake up and the mug wobbled precariously but within a second it was stable and Nick chuckled as he held the mug out for Gil to take.

 

Gil placed it on the coffee table.  “Don’t you think you’d more comfortable in bed?”

 

“No.  I‘ve had enough of lying in bed, I want to stay here, I am comfortable.  You don’t mind me lying here, do you?”

 

“Of course not.  It’s your house and if you’re okay here, then stay.  What do you want to eat?”

 

“A steak.”

 

“A steak?  Do you think that’s wise?”  Gil was preparing to launch into full lecture mode about having a light meal, when he saw the glint in Nick’s eye.  He was joking.  For a moment he remembered the first time Nick had woken up and how dull his eyes had been and here were the eyes Gil was used to...brown and warm and shining.  Catching the light from the lamp beside the couch.

 

“What are you staring at?”  Nick wanted to know.

 

“Your eyes...when you woke up they weren’t like your eyes, they looked sick and now they look better.”

 

“I guess I am better.  I do feel okay, just very tired...”

 

“....and remember what they said.  You must rest.  Trying to overdo things now could set you back.”

 

Nick looked amused.  “I know.  An omelette?”

 

“An ome...oh yes, good choice.”  Gil chuckled.  “So try and go to sleep now, while we wait for the delivery.”

 

“Okay.”  Nick settled down a little, a smile on his face and Gil would swear he was fast asleep in a couple of seconds.

 

Gil must have joined him very quickly because the next thing both men knew was the doorbell was waking them up.  Gil sat up suddenly and momentarily had no idea where he was.  By the time the bell rang again he was back in control.

 

He took the groceries in and tipped the delivery man.  He spent ten minutes sorting through the bags, but had first found a juice for Nick.

 

“You still want an omelette?”  He called from the kitchen and then realised that Nick probably couldn’t shout back, so he went to the door and he heard Nick trying to shout, ‘please’.   And failing.

 

“A plain one or anything added?”

 

“Grated cheese?”

 

“Okay.  What do you want with it?”

 

“Not much.  I’m hungry but I don’t think I could eat that much.”

 

“Salad?”

 

“Yeah, I like tomatoes.  Just the omelette, tomato and bread and butter?”

 

“Okay.  I’ll have the same.”

 

Gil found everything he needed and set about making the meal.  He was just watching the omelette cook when he realised he hadn’t phoned the insurance company about a nurse.  And he made a decision.  Instead of phoning for the nurse he’d phone Ecklie and tell him he’d take a personal day.  What the hell.  He rarely took time off and even if they were one down...Sara, Warrick and Greg would work overtime.

 

He found a tray and put the omelette on the plate with the already prepared sliced tomato and one piece of bread and butter.  He knew Nick would find it hard to eat it all.  He got another juice for him and his pills and took I all into Nick.

 

He woke him up and Nick actually grinned when he saw the food.  He sat up, took the tray and started to eat it immediately.   Then he nodded his approval.  “This is good, you can stay on.”

 

“Thank you, master.”  Nick grinned.  “I've forgotten to phone about your nurse so I’ll just do it before I make my omelette.

 

“Okay.”

 

Gil was pleased with Nick, he really was making a valiant effort at eating.

 

He got the phone and medical card and arranged for a nurse.  Nick wasn’t listening too hard because he didn’t question Gil when he said the nurse should start the next night.  But Gil hadn’t said the ‘next night’, he said the day and date and he guessed that Nick didn’t realise what day it actually was.  You lose track when you’re in the hospital and especially, Gil thought, when you’ve been unconscious.

 

Gil waited while Nick ate and he started to slow down after about half the meal was gone.  But Gil was pleased.   He managed a little more but then gave up.

 

“I can’t eat any more.  It was great though, you make a mean omelette.”

 

“Thank you.  You did better than I thought you would.  Little and often.  I’ll make you a sandwich in a couple of hours.  Do you need to use the bathroom?”

 

“Yeah, I do.”  Nick was acting sheepishly.

 

“You want to take a dump, don’t you?”

 

Nick laughed but then started coughing.   He nodded.

 

“I’ll help you up there and leave you and then check up after a few minutes. That okay?”

 

“Thanks, Gris.”

 

He helped Nick to his feet and wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him up the stairs.  Nick’s house didn’t have a downstairs bathroom. They moved slowly and Gil left him at the door of the bathroom.

 

“You okay?”  Nick nodded;  he was wheezing and his breath was catching but he hadn’t coughed.  “I’ll come back up in five minutes.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

It was the prefect opportunity for Gil to phone Ecklie, without Nick being in earshot.  So he did and was amazed that Ecklie readily agreed.  He‘d stay around, he said, for a couple of hours.  That made Gil smile to himself; the team would love that. 

 

But what really surprised Gil was that he asked if he wanted any more time off and without thinking about it, Gil asked for a week’s leave.  And Ecklie agreed.  When they’d finished the call, Gil stood with the phone in his hand, staring into space.  Before he thought about it anymore and could talk himself out of it, he phoned the insurers back and cancelled the nurse.  He’d tell Nick later.

 

Nick.  Stuck upstairs.  Gil ran up the stairs and found Nick leaning on the wall about to make his descent.

 

“I don’t think so, do you?”  Gil asked.

 

“Down’s easy.”  He grinned.

 

“And very quick if you slip.”

 

“You know, you’re getting to be very bossy.”

 

“That could well be because I am the boss.”

 

Nick chuckled.  “There is that.”

 

Gil move up beside him and once again with his arm around his waist, he helped Nick down the stairs this time.

 

“Did you have a successful bowel movement?”

 

“Did I...what?”  Nick laughed.

 

“Just making small talk.  I’m going to make my omelette. Do you want anything else?”

 

“A coffee?”

 

“Only allowed decaffeinated.”

 

“Yeah, okay.  I can pretend to be buzzed.  And yes, thank you.”

 

Gil frowned and then grinned.  “Good.”

 

After Gil had eaten and tidied everything away, he sat down and looked across at Nick.  He’d stayed awake for some time now, but was starting to droop.

 

“You’d better go to bed, Gris.  You won’t be able to keep your eyes open otherwise.  What time’s the nurse coming?”

 

“She’s not.  Or he’s not.  I cancelled.  I spoke to Ecklie and I’m taking some leave.”

 

“You can’t.”  Nick almost wailed his plea.

 

“I can do whatever I want.  Why can’t I?”

 

“You can’t take your leave days looking after me...leave days are for vacations.”

 

“Really?  I thought I could do what I liked with my leave.”

 

“You know what I mean, you’re just being pedantic.”

 

“No, I’m not.  You didn’t really want a complete stranger here did you, nurse or not.  I want to take care of you...while you get better.“  Gil thought to add.

 

“I’ll feel guilty.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You’re taking leave to look after me.  It’s your personal time.”

 

“I have weeks and weeks accrued.  Ecklie’s been onto me for...years, to get it down.”

 

“But they’ll be two down.”

 

“And Sara can work double shifts to her heart’s content.  Although she might not like it as much as usual.  Ecklie himself said he’d drop by and see how they were doing.”

 

Nick chuckled.  “They’ll love us.  Abandoning them to Ecklie’s mercy.  I think I do need to go to bed now.”

 

“And me.  Come on I’ll help you upstairs again.”  He smiled and Nick got up from the couch.  He looked completely worn out and seemed to Gil to look worse than he had an hour ago.  He presumed it was because being at home was more strenuous than being confined to a hospital bed and room.

 

After helping him to the bathroom, Gil waited at the door while Nick washed his face with a cloth and cleaned his teeth, all the time leaning heavily on the wash basin.

 

He made his very weary way into his bedroom

 

“What do you sleep in?”

 

Nick chuckled.  “I just wear a tee and a pair of old sweats.”  He pointed to a drawer.

 

Gil retrieved a tee and sweats.  And once more marvelled at the tidy drawer.

 

“I’m very impressed with your tidy drawers...mine are a shambles, I just stuff my clothes in and then hope I can find something to wear.  Nothing is ever where I expect it to be.”

 

“Military precision.  There were all us kids at home and we could lose stuff if it wasn’t put away properly, but it does work.  I always know where my stuff is and know when I’m running short. I didn’t used to do it like that; I rebelled after I left home but then Nigel Crane...remember him?”

 

Gil’s face must have shown his shock.

 

“Its okay, man.  But he took some of my clothes, so I had to replace all of them, and then I thought if I'd been doing this system then, I would have known stuff was disappearing.”  The words could hardly get out of Nick’s mouth now, he was so tired.

 

“No more talking, get into bed.  You warm enough?”

 

“Yeah fine, thanks.”

 

“I’m going to take a shower before I go to bed and I’m going to leave our bedroom doors open.  If you need anything use your cell to call me, if you can’t attract my attention.”  The cell phone was on the nightstand.

 

“Good idea.”

 

“It will be, unless I start getting calls from irate staff at work and I throw it against the wall...but I should be up during the night. I won’t sleep through.  Okay?  There’s your drink, your cell.  Tissues.  Anything else?”

 

Nick didn’t speak just shook his head and Gil chuckled.  “I’m going; give you some peace and quiet.”  He didn’t think Nick heard him; once again he was asleep within seconds.

 

Gil stared down at him for a few moments.  He looked considerably better than he had done just twenty-four hours ago, but he still had a long recovery ahead of him.  Even previously healthy young men needed time to heal.  As Nick breathed in and out Gil could hear the wheezing in his chest.  He hoped for Nick’s sake that he did manage to shake off the asthma.  But if he didn’t?  It would be managed, he knew, and he would help Nick.

 

He laughed, bitterly, to himself.  Making sweeping assumptions that Nick would be even remotely interested in having Gil help him.  Gil was only here now because without him, Nick wouldn’t have been able to leave the hospital.  Nick wasn’t stupid.

 

No.  Gil was stupid enough for the both of them.

 

Gil rubbed his face with his fingertips; he was tired and having maudlin thoughts over the sleeping form of Nick Stokes was really an invasion of his privacy now he was in his own bedroom.

 

Gil left him and went to shower, an earlier thought about jerking off before he slept, gone completely.  He didn’t have any enthusiasm for imagining Nick laughing at him for his adolescent behaviour.

 

He was still very tired though and after a quick shower he settled down in Nick’s spare bed.  He’d left the light on outside their rooms and the doors open.  The bed was remarkably comfortable; even though his was very tired Gil didn’t expect to sleep immediately in a strange bed but realised he was drifting off just moments after his head hit the pillow.  He made himself wake up a little and listen for Nick.  He couldn’t hear anything.

 

He was being dragged into wakefulness and was fighting it, he was warm and comfortable and he wanted to sleep, but there was just something not quite right...

 

Gil’s eyes flew open as he realised where he was and what it was that was pulling him awake.  Nick.  He could here Nick.

 

Coughing and gagging.

 

Gil threw back the bedclothes and almost leapt from the bed.  He ran barefoot to Nick’s room.

 

Nick was sitting on the side of the bed, his body almost convulsing with the coughing.  It  were taking his breath away and he was trying to catch his breath but each time he coughed instead.  He had vomit on himself and the floor in front of him and it looked as if he’d wet himself.

 

Gil was momentarily panic stricken. What to do?  Just for one or two seconds his mind didn’t work but then he moved.  He went back to the bathroom and scooped up two towels.  He wet one of them.  He went back into the bedroom and sat beside Nick on the bed.

 

He grabbed the pillow from behind Nick and put it over Nick’s lap.  He threw the dry towel on the floor over the vomit and urine.  He put the dampened towel in Nick hands and then gently rubbed Nick’s back at he’d done at the hospital.

 

It took three or four minutes but Nick’s spasm started to quiet and he could catch his breath properly, without coughing again.  He was plainly completely exhausted and Gil was holding him upright, otherwise he would have slid sideways in to a lying position.

 

“Can you take a few sips of water?”

 

Nick nodded and Gil reached past him to the nightstand and picked up the bottled water and opened it.  He was going to give it to Nick but Nick’s hands were shaking as he took it so Gil kept hold of the bottle as Nick raised it to his mouth.

 

“Just take little sips.”  As he said it and looked at Nick, he realised there were tears steaming down his face.   Gil thought it was probably from the effort of all the coughing.

 

When Nick had taken a couple of sips, Gil pulled it away.  “Not too much.   Here.”  He took the damp towel and wiped Nick’s face, but as he did so, Nick dissolved into sobs and leaned against Gil breaking both their hearts.

 

Gil held Nick in a bear hug but was careful not to hold him too tightly. “Shhh...it’s okay.  It’s over.  Shhh...”  Gil didn’t know how long it took but Nick eventually calmed down.  But he was limp with exhaustion.

 

“Nick, can you hear me?”  Gil whispered.

 

Nick nodded into Gil’s chest.  “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do.  I’m going to get you some dry clothes to sleep in and then help you get to the spare bed and you can sleep there.”

 

For a moment Gil thought that Nick was going to object.  But he didn’t.  He had no fight left in him.  Gil had dismissed the idea as soon as he’d thought about giving Nick a shower.  He was too exhausted even to be able to go through the motions.  But he could wipe Nick down with some soap on a wash cloth.

 

“I’m going to lie you down, on your side, on your bed, while I get the stuff you need.  Okay?”  Another feeble nod and a sniff.   Gil gave his face and his nose another wipe with the damp towel.  Then he gently lowered Nick down as he’d said.

 

“I won’t be out of ear shot so I’ll be with you in seconds if you start coughing again.  Okay?”  Nick’s dull eyes opened and Gil knew that apart from being sick and feeling ill, he was also mortified at what had happened.  He smiled at Nick.  “It really is okay.”  And he rubbed Nick’s arm, just as he’d done in the hospital when Nick had been so deeply unconscious.

 

Within ten minutes Gil had completed the tasks.  He’d found a bowl and filled it with hot water and a clean wash cloth.  He taken Nick’s tee shirt off and washed and wiped his face, dried him off and the put a clean tee on him.  He then slid Nick’s sweat pants and underpants off.   And washed around Nick’s groin and genitals.  Just enough to make him comfortable.  He then helped him in to a clean pair of sweats.

 

“Do you want another drink?”

 

This time Nick tried to speak.  “Could I have a cup of tea?”  He was barely audible but Gil understood. 

 

“Good idea.  I’ll go and make it.  Have you got any pillows, apart from the ones on this bed and the spare bed?”

 

“No.”  Nick shook his head.

 

“I’m going to bring your cushions up and put them on the bed, then you can sleep propped up.”

 

That caught Nick’s attention and he smiled a little knowing that it very probably would help him.  He mouthed rather than spoke.  “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.

 

The storm had passed.

 

When Nick was settled in the spare bed and he’d had a few sips of his tea he started to drift off to sleep and Gil left him to go and tidy up.  It took him twenty minutes to change the bedding, clean the floor and put the bedding and Nick‘s soiled clothing to wash.

 

When he was ready to get into bed himself he took another look at Nick.  He seemed to be wheezing less than he had done before.  It’s was Gil’s fault for not realising sooner that he should have been propped up in bed.

 

When he went back into Nick’s room, he sat on the side of the bed again and looked at the clock for the first time since he’d been woken by Nick’s coughing.  It was just two hours since he’d got into bed the first time.

Next part of this story - H1N1.