Title: High Priority
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Gil Grissom
Fandom: CSI: Vegass
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5_prompts, Written in the Stars challenge
Prompt: I1, Lately, it hasn't been a priority
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Gil Grissom, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg sat on the couch in Gil's living room, his gaze fixed on his cell phone on the coffee table in front of him. The doctor had said that they would be getting some kind of word about the biopsy results today, and he wanted to grab the phone on the first ring.

Ring, damn you, he thought irritably, focusing all his concentration on the phone. Maybe if he stared at it for long enough, he could make it ring -- and maybe he could even make the news be good. That was the scariest thing about sitting here waiting.

This was the first time in his life that he'd had a real scare about his health -- the horrors that he'd been through when he was in high school with his braces, palate extender and headgear didn't count. That hadn't been some kind of life-threatening disease.

But cancer was an entirely different thing. He'd never been as terrified in his life as he had been when he'd found that lump in his breast; even now, he didn't want to touch his body for fear that he might find another one somewhere that would be a confirmation.

Cancer. He couldn't have a disease like that. The lump had to be benign, just something that had somehow formed in his body that wasn't going to grow to monstrous proportions and kill him before he'd really had much of a chance to start living.

Gil was just as scared of this as he was; he knew that his boyfriend was trying his best to be supportive, and to give him courage to face whatever he might be told, but Greg could tell that Gil was terrified. It showed in the way that his boyfriend had been acting lately.

Gil always held him at night, waiting to settle down against his pillows until he was sure that Greg was secure and comfortable in his arms. But lately, Gil had almost seemed to clutch him, to pull him even closer than he usually did, as if his boyfriend was afraid to let him go.

He really should have been taking better care of himself, but his health hadn't seemed like a huge priority lately. He got yearly checkups, and he had always assumed that was enough. Maybe this was fate's way of telling him that it wasn't, Greg told himself wryly.

He'd never really thought about the possibility of something like this happening to him. Somehow, things like cancer had always seemed that they were for older people, even though he knew that even little kids could have the disease. It had just never seemed to relate to his own life.

But now, the prospect loomed in front of him, like a towering brick wall that he had no idea how to get over. All that he could do at this point was hope that he would get good news from the doctor -- if the damn phone would ever ring.

How much longer would he have to sit here and berate himself for not keeping a closer watch over his own health? He closed his eyes, wishing that he could beat his head against the couch cushions, but knowing that he would only look foolish if he did.

Besides, he didn't want Gil to come home from the grocery store and find him doing something so stupid. He knew that his boyfriend had been worried about his state of mind for the past few days, and he wanted to show Gil that he could be calm and face whatever might happen.

It was hard to hold onto that semblance of calm. Greg took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. How many times had he wished since this had all started that he had taken better care of himself -- and that he had never done that self-examination?

That was a stupid way to think, he admonished himself. If he hadn't done that, then he would never have discovered the lump in the first place -- and it could easily have turned into a cancer that was inoperable by the time it was finally discovered.

The sound of the kitchen door opening turned his thoughts away from all of the "what ifs" of his situation; Gil was home, and he had to try to hold on to that composure more than ever. He couldn't let his boyfriend see his own anxiety; it would only make Gil worry more.

That phone should be ringing sometime soon, shouldn't it? When he glanced at the clock on the wall, Greg's hands curled into fists at his sides. Only ten minutes had passed since the last time he had looked at the clock, though it felt like hours had gone by.

Gil came into the living room, sitting down on the couch beside Greg and taking his hand. "I'm guessing by the look on your face that you haven't gotten a call yet," he said softly, reaching out with his free hand to stroke the younger man's hair back from his face.

Greg shook his head, his breath catching in his throat. He was not going to cry now, he told himself firmly, blinking to hold back the sudden onslaught of tears. There was no need to cry. It wouldn't help matters any; it would only make them both feel worse.

As he spoke, the cell phone rang; once, then twice. Even after hours of waiting for the call, Greg was suddenly reluctant to pick it up; he wasn't sure that he wanted to hear whatever the verdict was. It could be the worst news he'd ever gotten in his life.

But he forced himself to lean forward and pick up the phone; he knew that it was the doctor before he even heard the voice on the other end of the line. "H-hello?" he said, his voice a hoarse whisper, his throat suddenly dry and tight.

He listened to what the doctor had to tell him, nodding finally saying a soft farewell and clicking the phone off. He could feel Gil's eyes on him as he leaned forward to replace the phone on the coffee table; he turned to look at his boyfriend, their gazes meeting and holding.

"It's a benign tumor," Greg said softly, his relief evident in the timbre of his voice. "He doesn't know how it formed, but the important thing is that it's not malignant, and he's scheduled me to go into surgery to have it removed in two days, if the timing is okay with us. I said it was."

"Of course it's okay." Gil wrapped his arms around Greg, burying his face against his boyfriend's hair, his voice soft in Greg's ear. "I was hoping he'd say that it was benign. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, Greg. Not to something like this."

Greg couldn't answer him; the tears had crowded forward again, and this time he didn't try to hold them back. They weren't tears of fear this time, but tears of relief and gratitude. He felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, leaving him feeling drained but happy.

From now on, he was going to make his health more of a priority, Greg thought to himself as he relaxed in Gil's embrace. He had to take better care of himself -- not just for him, but for Gil. He wasn't about to check out and leave his boyfriend lonely.

He would get Gil to keep a closer watch on his health, too -- after all, he didn't want to lose his boyfriend any time soon, either. Greg closed his eyes as he rested his head against Gil's shoulder, hoping that they would both make taking better care of themselves a high priority in their future.

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