Title: Holding Steady
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Series: 1) Catch Me I'm Falling, 2) Sparks
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Adam Ross, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Ryan glanced into the mirror, running a hand through his hair as he did so. He looked okay; a little tired, but that was only to be expected after his first day at work. He hadn't gone out into the field yet, but there had been so much to get accustomed to.

Not the least of which was the gorgeous man he'd been partnered with. Ryan's heart beat faster as the memory of how Greg looked when he smiled came into his mind; he hadn't been able to get that smile out of his thoughts all evening.

He really shouldn't be thinking like this about someone he worked with -- especially the man who was now his partner, Ryan thought with a sigh. It was definitely bad form -- and it could get them both into more trouble than he was ready to deal with, since he was the new guy on the team.

But Greg was impossible to resist. Who would be able to say no to him? Certainly not the person who had to sit there and look into those meltingly beautiful dark eyes every day when they were in the office, he thought with an inward smile.

He didn't have the kind of willpower it would take to resist any advances that Greg made. And if he was honest with himself, he didn't want to. Yes, it might get them into trouble -- but he had the definite feeling that any trouble they might find themselves in would be well worth it.

He hadn't exactly been telling the truth when he'd told Greg that he was looking for a guide to show him around Vegas, Ryan thought as he sat down on the bed to pull on his socks and sneakers. That was the last thing he wanted to happen tonight.

What he really wanted was for the two of them to order dinner from someplace, and spend a quiet evening at Greg's place. Followed by a night that wasn't so quiet -- and him waking up in the morning with Greg sleeping in his arms.

Or would Greg prefer to be the more dominant of the two of them? The thought made Ryan pause; that was something he wasn't ready to deal with at the moment. Maybe he had better slow his thoughts down and concentrate on getting to know Greg a little better.

Would he be able to talk openly and honestly to Greg about the root of the reason he'd left Miami? And what would Greg think of his decision if he did? Would he think that Ryan was just running away from a situation that he should have stayed to face up to?

No, he didn't think Greg would be that judgmental of his choices. Most of the people he'd known back in Miami hadn't; they had understood why Ryan felt that he needed to get away from the scene of what had happened to him, why he needed a fresh start.

It was hard to think about the trauma he'd dealt with, even now. He'd talked to two different therapists, and they had both told him that he'd have to take things slowly, one step at a time -- and they'd also told him that it might be best to hold back from forming any relationships.

He'd had every intention of doing that when he'd come here. He hadn't thought that he would be faced with a man who made his heart pound and his breath catch in his throat! If he'd known that Greg Sanders would be waiting for him, he might have gone elsewhere.

How could he have known that one of the first people he'd meet at work would be a man who set his body and soul on fire? Maybe this would be the relationship that he'd been searching for all of his life, the person who would make him feel as though he'd finally found his other half.

Ryan had thought he'd stopped looking for that kind of relationship, that perfect love who would slip into his life as though it had always been there, long before he'd left Miami. But now, the desire to have that kind of love in his life was coming back, more strongly than he'd ever felt it before.

Was Greg looking for the same thing? Or was he like so many of the men Ryan had met in Miami -- only wanting a good time, not looking for more than a night of pleasure before they went on to the next person? He'd had more than enough of that.

How many mornings had he woken up with the person he'd spent the night with gone, having left stealthily without a word of goodbye? He didn't want any more mornings like that in his life. He had sworn that he wouldn't let himself be used like that again.

Greg didn't seem like the kinf of person who only wanted a one-night stand -- in fact, there was no way he could be thinking of something like that, considering that they'd have to keep working together even if a relationship didn't work out between them.

Not only working together on the same CSI team -- but working as partners. They'd still be uncomfortably close in their professional lives even if they only had a one-night stand -- and Ryan was absolutely positive that Greg wouldn't want that any more than he did.

So, if they were going to start a more personal relationship, they'd have to be sure that it was what they both wanted, and that it would last. No jumping into bed and then deciding that they'd made a mistake after one night together.

Somehow, he thought that Greg was more serious than that. And he thought that Greg would probably understand why he was still skittish about some of the physical expectations that would come with any relationship they decided to start.

He would have a partner here to watch his back in the field. And if there was a need for anyone to go undercover, he wouldn't be the one to volunteer. He'd done that too many times in Miami -- and the last time had been the last straw.

Would he be able to tell Greg about that experience? Ryan wasn't sure that their first night spending any time with each other would be the best time to do that; it might scare Greg off to hear the details of what had been the most harrowing time of his life.

He'd have to know sooner or later, especially if they did start a relationship. And judging from the sparks that had flown between them today, Ryan had no doubt whatsoever that they would. At this point, them getting together on a personal level seemed inevitable.

There was no way to know how Greg would react -- Ryan was sure that he would be sympathetic, but there was no way for anyone to really understand how he felt unless they'd been through something similar themselves. And what had been done to him wasn't something he would wish on anyone.

Ryan shuddered at the memory, pushing it away from him and slamming a mental door on the thought. He might have to bring it out again once he and Greg started opening up to each other about their pasts, but until that time came, he didn't want to remember.

It would be nice if they could just stay here, but he didn't want Greg to spend the night in a hotel room -- if they actually went that far tonight. He had his doubts about that, but another part of him was sure that they would wake up next to each other tomorrow morning.

What if they didn't? What if he spent the night at Greg's place, but they didn't sleep together? It wouldn't be the first time he'd done something like that; he was capable of holding back his carnal desires and moving steadily into a new relationship.

There was no telling what could happen tonight, Ryan told himself firmly. He and Greg might do nothing more than talk, maybe fool around a little. The subject of having sex might not even come up -- or if it did, they might decide that taking things slowly was best for them.

He actually wouldn't mind it if they did, he realized with something of a shock. All of the relationships he'd been in that had been good ones had moved slowly at first; the people he'd been with had meant too much to him to just rush into anything too quickly.

He wanted Greg to be one of those people. He already liked the young man more than he had liked anyone in a long time -- not just in a sexual way, and not just because he was devastatingly attractive. He liked Greg's openness, his honesty, his straightforwardness.

Greg was someone he could fall deeply in love with -- and if there was a chance of that happening, Ryan didn't want to do anything right at the start that could jeopardize what they could build together in the future. So maybe taking it slow was the right thing to do.

His heart lurched in his chest when he heard a knock on the door; that had to be Greg. Somehow, he was sure that his good intentions wouldn't hold steady -- but he would have to wait and see how this evening progressed. Something told him that it was going to be a night to remember.

***

Next story in series - More Than Ready.