Title: How Can I Refuse
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Ryan sighed as he shrugged his t-shirt off over his head, draping it over the back of the couch. They had to get their laundry done this weekend; one night of lying on the couch wouldn't hurt his shirt, even if it did make the room look a little cluttered.

Thank goodness Greg wasn't a neat freak, he thought to himself with a wry smile. They'd never get along if he was. Ryan wasn't a complete slob, but he did have a tendency not to pick his clothes up until time to do laundry. Fortunately, Greg was the same.

It was past time for them to get some sleep; they had to work tonight, and Ryan didn't want either of them to be tired when they went in. There would probably be some questions to answer about what had been wrong when they'd left this morning, and they needed to be alert.

He didn't really want to make any explanations, Ryan thought, yawning and raising a hand to cover his mouth. It was nobody's business whether he and Greg had been arguing, or if either one of them was angry about something. Nobody's business but theirs.

If anyone asked them what had happened, they could just say that they'd had a disagreement, but that Greg had carpooled to work with Ryan that day, so they'd had to drive home together. And that they'd patched up their argument during that ride home.

He had an answer for everything, Ryan thought wryly, shaking his head. If only he had an answer as to why he'd flown off the handle and not believed Greg when his boyfriend had insisted that he hadn't been the one to initiate the contact with that slut.

He should have believed every word Greg said, no questions asked. And a part of him had; there was just another, larger part of him that had a hard time with trust. He'd been hurt too often before by people in his life who had lied to him without a second thought.

But Greg wasn't any of those people. Greg wouldn't lie to him -- and Greg certainly wouldn't cheat on him. Ryan felt ashamed and angry at himself for not having more trust in the man he loved; what kinf of person was he, to have hurt Greg as badly as he had?

He hated himself for making his boyfriend cry. Hurting Greg was the last thing he ever wanted to do, yet there were times when he seemed to be far too good at doing that. He wanted to spend the rest of his life making up for everything he'd done and said that had hurt the man he loved.

A soft footstep in the hallway made Ryan look up; his eyes widened and his jaw dropped as Greg stepped into the room, the soft light of the lamp on the end table by the couch illuminating his nude body. For just a moment, Ryan couldn't speak, could barely breathe.

He had never seen anything as beautiful as Greg's body; his boyfriend was perfect, from head to toe. Ryan couldn't stop his gaze from roaming over that slender frame, lingering at the juncture of Greg's thighs, then moving up to meet the other man's steady gaze.

"I want you to make love to me," Greg whispered, his voice shaking slightly. "It's way past time I let you have me, Ryan. I shouldn't have held back this long. Maybe that's part of the reason you wanted to leave, even if you didn't realize it. You're getting tired of waiting for me."

Ryan shook his head, walking over to his boyfriend and putting his hands on Greg's shoulders. "I'll wait for you as long as you need me to wait," he said softly, his gaze not leaving Greg's. "I'm not going to rush you, baby. You'll know when the time is right."

"I want you to make love to me n-now," Greg said, the trembling of his voice becoming more pronounced. "After what almost happened today, I w-want to know that if you walk away from me, I've at least been able to have that m-much of you."

"Oh, baby." Ryan wrapped his arms around Greg's waist, pulling his boyfriend close against him and burying his face against Greg's hair. "I promise, I'm not going to leave you. Greg, you don't have to give me sex to keep me with you. Please don't feel that way."

"But if I don't let you make move to me, then if we d-do break up ...." Greg looked up at him, the fear in his eyes slicing through Ryan's heart. Had he put that fear there? He couldn't bear to think that he could have unwittingly hurt Greg that much.

He wanted to assure Greg that wouldn't happen, but he didn't know if he could do so in words. Maybe his actions would speak louder than any words he could say, and let Greg know how very much he was wanted. Maybe no words were needed at this point.

Ryan let his hands move down Greg's back, over the curves of his ass to cup the other man's rounded, firm cheeks and draw Greg closer to his own body. It didn't matter that he was still clothed from the waist down; all that mattered was having their bodies close together.

His hands moved down Greg's thighs, exploring the slender curves of his boyfriend's body, enjoying the feel of Greg's skin under his palms. He loved touching this man; he could stand here and move his hands over Greg's flesh all night, if that was what his lover wanted.

Greg's hands were moving up his back, slowly, hesitantly, almost as though Greg wasn't sure that he wanted to be touched. Ryan pulled the other man closer against him, closing his eyes, breathing in the tangy, slightly cinnamon scent of his boyfriend's skin, intoxicated by it.

How could he refuse Greg's request? How could he not take this beautiful man to bed and make love to him, slowly, gently, until they were both completely sated? For a moment, he wanted to lift Greg into his arms, throw caution to the winds, and carry him to their bedroom.

But this wasn't the right time. Ryan was sure of it. If he made love to Greg now, when his boyfriend was giving himself more out of a fear of rejection than love, then it wouldn't be all that he wanted it to be, for either of them. They needed to wait until they were both sure it was right.

"I want you, sweetheart," he whispered in Greg's ear, one hand resting on Greg's hip as the other traveled up the other man's bare back. "But not like this, Greg. Not because you're afraid of losing me. I want you to want this just as much as I do."

"I-I do want you," Greg murmured, raising his head to look Ryan in the eye. He looked stricken; Ryan almost felt as though he'd hit his boyfriend from the look in those beautiful dark eyes. He felt guilty for not wanting to do what Greg, but he had good reasons.

"Baby, I know you do," Ryan told him, almost gasping as Greg's cock brushed against his own. He was instantly hard; there could be no mistaking how much he wanted Greg, and what kind of effect holding this man in his arms was having on his body.

"What's wrong with me?" Greg whispered, choking on a sob. "Why don't you want to make love to me?" He struggled in Ryan's embrace, trying to pull free; Ryan tightened his arms around his boyfriend, holding Greg close, raising a hand to stroke his hair.

"Greg, there's nothing wrong with you," he said, keeping his voice soft and soothing. "Can't you tell how much I want you? But I think if we make love now, then it'll just be because you're afraid of losing what we have, not because you're really ready. Just think about it for a minute."

Greg was silent for a few minutes, resting his head against Ryan's shoulder again; when he finally looked up, there was a plea in those dark eyes that Ryan knew he couldn't resist. Whatever Greg asked of him this time, he wouldn't be able to refuse. Not for any reason.

"Then take me to bed and kiss me all over and touch me and love me and make me feel like you'll always be here," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. "Prove to me that you want me and that you're not ever going to leave me. I need to feel that, Ryan."

"I know you do, baby," Ryan answered, his throat tightening. "And I'll do my best to prove it to you. Not just this time, but every time I touch you, for the rest of our lives." His arms wrapped more firmly around Greg, their bodes pressed close against each other.

He hated to refuse his boyfriend anything, but he knew that this was right for them. But Ryan had an idea, one that was growing in his mind, and he was sure that it was something Greg would enjoy as much as he himself would. Greg only needed to trust him, and let him take the lead.

"Greg, I --" Ryan swallowed hard, then took a deep breath. "I want to make love to you. Just not in the way you're thinking of. Not tonight. I want us to work up to that. But if you trust me enough, then I want us to do something that I think we'll both love."

Greg didn't hesitate; he nodded, his gaze still focused on Ryan's face. "I'd do anything you wanted me to do. You know that," he whispered, leaning forward to press a kiss against Ryan's cheek, his voice soft in his lover's ear. "Just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it."

"Just come to bed with me, and I'll show you," Ryan told him, pulling back slightly and taking Greg's hand in his. He padded down the hallway towards their bedroom with Greg following him, his heart leaping in his chest at the thought of what they were going to do.

***

Next story in series - New World.