Title: Hung Up on A Dream
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg sighed softly as he curled up next to Ryan in their bed; the other man was sleeping soundly next to him, and he hoped that slumber would continue undisturbed through the night. Ryan hadn't been sleeping much lately, and Greg had been worried about him.

When Ryan did sleep, he invariably had dreams that woke him and kept him up for the rest of the day, until they both had to get up and get ready to go to work. Greg could tell that his boyfriend hadn't been sleeping; it showed when they were working.

He tried to cover for Ryan as best he could, but he hadn't really been able to tell Catherine or anyone else at the crime lab much. He didn't feel that it was his place to talk about Ryan's past; if he wanted people to know, then he would have to be the one to tell.

He didn't have the right to tell everyone about Ryan's personal life -- even though what had happened to his boyfriend in Miami wasn't exactly personal. But Greg knew that it wasn't the kind of thing Ryan wanted all over the lab; he didn't want people to feel that they should pity him.

When Ryan had told their colleagues at the lab that there was a member of the Cuban mob here in Miami, Greg had thought that he might come out with the whole story then -- but of course, he hadn't. He had stuck with the less lurid details of what had happened.

All they knew was that Ryan had been kidnapped and tortured by the mob -- he hadn't gone into any kind of specifics, and Greg was glad of it. He didn't want anyone else to know what Ryan had suffered; he didn't want to see them tossing pitying looks in his boyfriend's direction.

Ryan wouldn't want their pity, and Greg didn't want it for him. They both wanted that horrible experience to fade into the past -- but that wasn't going to happen when the man who had violated Ryan so brutally was here in Vegas. He was too close; the threat was too immediate.

Greg knew that Ryan was more worried for him than he was for himself, but he couldn't feel the same way. He was terrified that this man had followed Ryan here from Miami because he had a personal vendetta against his boyfriend, and that he would harm Ryan in some way.

He didn't think that Ryan's nemesis was likely to come after him -- after all, it wasn't obvious that he and Ryan were lovers, not unless this man had been following their every move when they weren't at work, and Greg didn't think he'd been that assiduous.

It was possible that he could be a target, but he really didn't think so. All he wanted both of them to do for the moment was to put those kinds of thoughts of out of their minds, to lie here in bed and dream all day. to do nothing but enjoy being together.

If only they didn't have to do anything with their lives but lie in bed and dream all day! Greg sighed, closing his eyes and letting himself sink into a state where he was half-awake, half-dreaming. That would be the perfect life, wouldn't it? Nothing to do but enjoy being with his lover ....

His eyes opened suddenly, staring up at the ceiling. Neither one of them would be happy living a life like that, and he knew it. They couldn't just be indolent all the time, as appealing as it might sound. They would both be bored to tears within two weeks.

Not bored with each other, of course, Greg hastened to assure himself. But bored with just lying around and doing nothing all the time. It might sound like the perfect life to some people, but for him, it would be the most boring thing he could imagine.

He loved the life that he led, even though there were some things about it that he would change if he could. Like that idiotic rule at work that kept him and Ryan from making their relationship common knowledge to everyone they worked with, he thought with a frown.

He'd always thought that rule was stupid, but he had never really let it bother him before, because he had never wanted to date anyone he worked with. He'd had a crush on Nick for a while, but that had turned into a close friendship, nothing more.

Could he have ever been nothing more than friends with Ryan? Greg didn't think so; he and Ryan were far too attracted to each other, and there was too much explosive desire between them for either of them to have ever been satisfied with nothing more than friendship.

He'd always dreamed of having the kind of relationship that he and Ryan shared, but he had never actually thought he would find it. He had told himself for so long that he was hung up on a dream that would never come true, that what he wanted only happened in romance novels.

Yet here he was, involved with a man who he loved more than life itself, a man who made him feel that he had finally been completed in every way. Ryan meant more to him than he had ever dreamed anyone could; for the first time in his life, he was truly in love.

He had wondered for so long if he could ever really fall in love, Greg thought with a smile, turning his head to look at his boyfriend sleeping peacefully next to him. How long had he resigned to feeling that he would always be alone, that he would never find his other half?

Far too long, he thought wryly. He had been involved with people off and on over the years, but he had never let himself get too close to them. He'd had relationships -- but he had never been able to give himself entirely to a man physically, or to anyone emotionally.

With Ryan, he had thrown away the caution and pushed all of his fears away. A part of him had still been afraid of the physicality between them, but once he had leaped that chasm, he'd never looked back. His only regret was that it had taken him a while to do so.

He had wasted so much time when they'd first been together, time that they could have been making love and discovering each other. He'd hated to make Ryan wait so long, but at least they both knew that when they finally had made love, the time had been right.

Now, he couldn't imagine not being with Ryan physically. There were some things that he was still hesitant about letting his boyfriend do, but Greg didn't doubt that in time, those last barriers would come tumbling to the ground and they would share themselves in every possible way.

This was the dream he had always been hung up on, a dream that he'd thought would never come true. He had always wanted this kind of relationship with someone, a meeting of bodies and souls where he could feel that he shared himself completely with the person he loved.

What was it going to be like when Ryan's things were gone from his apartment, and they no longer lived in the same place? Even though his boyfriend would just be next door, it would still be different; they would no longer be sharing the same address.

It didn't matter, Greg told himself firmly. This was something they had to do for work, to keep up the outer pretense that they were just friends who had been sharing an apartment for a while until Ryan found his own place. And they wouldn't be far apart.

Besides, it wasn't as though his boyfriend was moving halfway across the city. He would be just as close as he had always been; they would spend their nights in one apartment or the other. It would just be a matter of having more room, that was all.

Having two separate apartments wasn't going to change their relationship in any way. He wasn't going to let it. They weren't going to be living apart, not in their eyes. They would simply have two separate places to go to -- and, unfortunately, more bills to pay as a consequence.

He was being stupid to worry about things like that, Greg thought, giving himself a mental shake. What did bills matter, compared to the fact that Ryan was settling into life in Vegas as though he'd always been here? And besides, having another place would be good for them.

His own apartment was small, and this would give them a chance to spread out a little. The extra money was negligible; it wasn't as though they couldn't afford another apartment, and the fact that they were right next door to each other was an added bonus.

They would stay as close as they were now -- and they'd be even closer. Having two different apartments wasn't going to affect their relationship; it would just be one of those things that they had to do to preserve appearances for the sake of their jobs.

They shouldn't have to do that, Greg thought resentfully. It was one of the things that cut rudely into his dream of having a perfect life with Ryan, a little bit of reality that he'd rather not have to deal with. But there was no help for it; they would have to keep up that facade for a while.

Turning onto his side, he carefully slid his arms around Ryan, not wanting to wake his lover. The other man slumbered on, sighing softly as Greg drew him into his arms. Greg rested his cheek against the softness of Ryan's hair, wishing that he never had to move out of this bed.

Nothing was going to come between them or destroy the dream that had finally come true, Greg vowed. Not the stupid rules at their job, and not the threat that had followed Ryan here from Miami. Somehow, he would find a way to keep them both safe -- and to keep living in that dream.

***