Title: I'm Not That Good At Goodbye
By: Jaxson K.
Pairing: Nick/Gil
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Gil's never been much good at saying goodbye.....
Disclaimer: Not mine...just visiting old friends!
A/N: This is set in the early years of the show.

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Gil finished the note and put it in the envelope. He placed it on the dresser in the bedroom where he knew Nick would find it. He knew this really wasn't the way to do this, but he felt he had no alternative. He really didn't want to talk this over with Nick anymore because Nick had talked it to death, and Gil was sick of hearing it anyway. The end result was the same no matter what spin you put on it. The fact remained that Nick would be gone.

Gil had such high hopes for the two of them, but it just wasn't meant to be. Between the two men lay enough issues to keep a psychiatrist busy from now on, and rich to boot! Gil knew that Nick deserved more than he could give him, and that's why he didn't try harder to make Nick stay. When Nick came to him to tell him it was over, he just crushed. He didn't let it show because he knew he should let Nick go even though he didn't want to.

That's where the note came in. Nick had left a note on his desk saying that he would be coming around the next afternoon to pick up his things. Gil was thankful Nick had given him a "heads up" so he could be gone when Nick came over because Gil never was real good at saying goodbye.

When Nick arrived at Gil's he noticed that Gil's car wasn't in its' usual spot. He used his key and made a mental note to take it off his key ring to leave on the table when he left. He headed for the bedroom to clear out the rest of his things, and when he went to get his things from the dresser, he found the note Gil had left for him. He gathered his things from the dresser, put them in his bag, and sat down on the corner of the bed. He opened the envelope and began to read.....

Dearest Nick,

I know this isn't the best way to do this, but it's all I've got. I left this for you because I didn't want to be here when you came by. That sounds a bit chickenshit, but it's true. I felt like we'd said all there was to say, and God knows I didn't want to hear it anymore.

I get why you're leaving, Nick, I really do. I know I'll never be the man you wanted me to be, and I want you to know that I think you deserve better. I really hope you find what you're looking for. I couldn't tell you these things in person because I feel it would hurt too much, and besides.....I'm not that good at goodbye.

Gil

Nick folded the note and placed it in his bag. As he wiped the tears from his eyes, he knew what Gil said was true. As he made his way to the front door, he stopped and took the house key off his key ring. He walked over to the desk and wrote "Gil, I understand. N", place the sheet of paper with the key on the kitchen table and left.

END

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